Clash of the Comics Season 1 Episode 6

Golden.Bazaar

1 hour ago
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Transcript

00:00Okay, and then chin slam them to the ground that's the fighting is now moved to the back of the stalls

00:10The referee is quite happy to allow it to continue a man is just trying to get back to the seat with his point

00:17The referee quite happy to continue the fight is happening on two flanks down either side

00:24Meanwhile Rishi and bullet are just watching and laughing

00:26Well, then I do this way Max has taken one of right to the plums

00:33Always ahead, but he's nearly fallen on an old lady

00:38Not old respect. I've just seen you under the lights

00:44Shout Asians again

00:50They're right at the front of the stage now so they're coming back to join us

00:56oh

01:07Okay, if I'm beating him they're energized the announcement of SNL UK is revived sketch comedians

01:14As long as you're under 35

01:16As long as you're under 35

01:20I'm with a million followers

01:23Some real close-up shots of Cara Noir there for the wiki feed crowd

01:27Are you allowed to have three born men in the same place?

01:29Are you allowed to have three born men in the same place?

01:30Are you allowed to have three born men in the same place?

01:34Hey, those flag protests are legitimate expressions of democratic intent

01:38There's a lot of villains in this ring

01:39Yeah, it's a bit of a mess

01:40Looks like a goddamn reform party conference

01:41Three angry white guys and one Asian guy and you're like you know what you've signed up for?

01:45Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Miss! Till!

02:13Oh, I didn't have a kiss.

02:14The pair of words of the Apollo are demanding.

02:17Kiss them.

02:18Oh.

02:19Oh.

02:20Well, it's heartbreaking.

02:21Wow.

02:22Rejection is hard at the best of times.

02:24It's good for the young people in the crowd to see that sometimes heartbreak is a part

02:27of life.

02:28It's not usually part of a wrestling match.

02:31Oh.

02:32Oh, no.

02:33That is airborne.

02:34Oh, oh, oh.

02:35Look at that.

02:36Oh.

02:37Yes.

02:38Double kick.

02:39Yes.

02:40Double kick.

02:41Yes.

02:42Double kick.

02:43Yes.

02:44Code red.

02:45Code red and a kick out.

02:47I can't believe they have been eliminated.

02:50That was astonishing.

02:51A double reverse 69.

02:53Okay.

02:54Let's watch that.

02:55So it's like...

02:56This is the classic Max and Iman code red with the three count and the elimination.

03:01Great work from me.

03:02Amazing.

03:03And you'd love to see a double 69 in wrestling.

03:07Richie's taken one right to the onion bargees.

03:10Oh.

03:11Oh.

03:12Oh.

03:13Now they're giving each other a single game.

03:14Oh, oh.

03:15Oh, oh.

03:16Oh, oh.

03:17Oh, oh, oh.

03:18Oh, oh, oh.

03:19Oh, oh.

03:20Oh.

03:21Bullett pushing Max off the top rope.

03:22Okay, so Ivan's alone.

03:23The referee is saying stuff like, come on, none of that.

03:26This man has lost control.

03:27Yes.

03:28Oh, yes.

03:29Oh, yes.

03:30Oh, yes.

03:31Oh, yes.

03:32Oh, yes.

03:33Oh, yes.

03:34Oh, yes.

03:35Oh.

03:36Ivan in real trouble here.

03:38Oh, my God.

03:39There's a cover.

03:40One.

03:41Two.

03:42And an elimination.

03:43Oh, a double elimination.

03:45Heartbreakingly, the OGs have been eliminated.

03:49Boo!

03:52It was a double kick out that did for Ivan, and his team got eliminated.

03:56And that means the two representatives of Gamblers Anonymous are still in the...

04:00Whoa.

04:01But hang on.

04:02Hang on.

04:03Hang on.

04:04Hang on.

04:05Hang on.

04:06Hang on.

04:07Hang on.

04:08Hang on.

04:09Hang on.

04:10Hang on.

04:11Hang on.

04:12Hang on.

04:13Hang on.

04:14Hang on.

04:15Hang on.

04:16I'm getting something in my ear.

04:17It's time for the rosebuds to compete.

04:18Or is it?

04:19Dr K, what's the prognosis?

04:20Well, Matthew, after six or seven extremely strong painkillers, I can confirm, I'm feeling

04:26absolutely amazing.

04:27But, um, yeah, Rosie won't be wrestling.

04:31No!

04:32Good grief.

04:33This couldn't possibly get any worse.

04:35Matthew, Rose Matasleo's been knocked out.

04:38I found her surrounded with poker chips.

04:40What in the name of reportage?

04:43This is a dark day for justice, but such is the lot of the newsman.

04:49We simply report on the horrible things we see.

04:52Hold on, Matthew.

04:53There comes a time where journalistic impartiality must take a back seat.

04:57I was going to compete at a halftime game at my local roller derby, but I think I have

05:01to be in that ring.

05:04Not without me.

05:05Hell yeah!

05:06Wait, why are we making that?

05:08I pray a lot.

05:09No further questions.

05:10Well, there's only one thing left to ask.

05:12See, Joe?

05:13Yes?

05:14Can we wrestle?

05:16Only if you can solve these twelve riddles.

05:20I'm joking.

05:21I've had a wine.

05:22You can, you must!

05:23Breaking news.

05:24It's on!

05:27Entering the ring, it is the team of Olga Rockhardcock and Matthew the Pacifist Crosby.

05:40Give it up for your roving reporters!

05:45Woo!

05:46Woo!

05:47Woo!

05:48Woo!

05:49Woo!

05:50Woo!

05:51Woo!

05:52Yes!

05:53Woo!

05:54Yes!

05:55Journalistic impartiality is dead.

05:58Also, it's really good that Olga's getting to use that nickname in a sort of appropriate context.

06:05Woo!

06:06Woo!

06:07Woo!

06:08Here they come.

06:09Yes!

06:10But when they get there, they've got Bullet and the Prince of Mumbai.

06:13Yeah.

06:14This is absolutely poised, folks.

06:16Have they not been watching?

06:18What's been happening?

06:19Yeah, someone would question why the hell they're bothering.

06:24Cock is entering the ring with absolute swagger.

06:27Yeah.

06:28Yeah.

06:29Oh.

06:30Crosby.

06:31Oh, Bullet has inadvertently knocked.

06:34Oh.

06:35Bullets attacked Rishi.

06:36Oh, my God.

06:37This is unbelievable.

06:38Rishi's hurt himself.

06:39Oh, the roving reporters have pulled the squad.

06:40They're quick.

06:41They tripped up the Bullet.

06:42They tripped up the Bullet.

06:43Yes.

06:44Okay.

06:45This is unbelievable.

06:46This is the thing.

06:47The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

06:48Oh.

06:49Oh.

06:50Nice.

06:51Ah.

06:52They celebrated a little too early there.

06:53They're finished.

06:54Oh, my goodness.

06:55Yes.

06:56Oh, God.

06:57Oh.

06:58Oh.

06:59Oh, no.

07:00Oh.

07:01Oh.

07:02Oh.

07:03Oh.

07:04Oh.

07:05Oh.

07:06Oh.

07:07Oh.

07:08Oh.

07:09Oh, the kick out.

07:10This is unprecedented.

07:11Oh.

07:12Oh, the cut there.

07:13The reversal.

07:14The journalists have got involved.

07:15She's spinning around like Kylie Minogue.

07:17This is basically like Jenny Bond doing the coronation herself.

07:24Uh-oh.

07:25Oh.

07:26Oh.

07:27Oh.

07:28Oh.

07:29Oh.

07:30Rishi.

07:31Rishi.

07:32Rishi.

07:33Rishi.

07:34Rishi.

07:35Rishi.

07:36Rishi.

07:37Rishi.

07:38Rishi.

07:39Rishi.

07:40Rishi.

07:41Rishi.

07:42Rishi.

07:43Rishi.

07:44Rishi.

07:45Rishi.

07:46Rishi.

07:47Rishi.

07:48Rishi.

07:49Rishi.

07:50Rishi.

07:51Rishi.

07:52Rishi.

07:53Rishi.

07:54Rishi.

07:55What's this?

07:56Rishi's got a bag of the old Croydon down.

07:58Oh.

07:59Calamity.

08:00Oh, my God.

08:01Bullock looking like a 1980s Wall Street employee.

08:03Rishi's gone to the top rope.

08:06Yeah, she's gone to the top right

08:19Crosby a human mullet business on the top party on the bottom

08:22He's caught the cock

08:39Now definitely read Greg Davis slash fiction that looks like

08:52Give it up

08:53Unbelievable, it's a staggering win for the free press

08:57He's done it!

08:58The rock hard cock and Matthew the pacifist Crosby

09:03The double crossbody does it

09:06For the roving reporters, what a victory in the Tag Team Tornado

09:11What a twist for the ages

09:16Matthew, you've spent the whole evening

09:18Preaching pacifism, you've just beaten up half the industry

09:23How do you feel?

09:24Cancelled

09:28But guys, breaking news!

09:32I definitely have a yeast infection!

09:37That makes two of us!

09:41Reportage

09:42Anything else you want to say to the teams you've flattened on your way to victory tonight?

09:45Fuck them

09:49Give it up one more time for the winners of the Tag Team Tornado

09:53Holden Kork and Matthew Crosby

09:59Commentary team, it's been absolutely epic

10:02Take us through

10:03Let's look at the winning moment again

10:06Double crossbody

10:07It's a fantastic slap

10:09Double crossbody slap

10:10And then the double pin

10:12It's an astonishing ton of events

10:14How was any of it legal?

10:19People were kicking each other, putting their hands up each other's bums

10:23People were upside down at points

10:25This is all it, is it?

10:27It's pure filth

10:28Only one of them was dressed appropriately for the occasion

10:30Max Fochlett

10:31Superb

10:35My personal highlight was a van being dangled off the dress circle of the Apollo

10:39That was a moment that he did not look like he was fully prepared for

10:43I've seen a lot of wrestling in my time and I've never seen wrestlers just submit and just go nah

10:48I really enjoyed Amy Gledhill and Harriet Kempsey I thought was the highlight of that

10:51Massive respect

10:52Kempsey and Gledhill have just taken themselves out of it immediately

10:54Sometimes no wrestling needed in wrestling

10:56Sometimes

10:57My best moment actually was Maisie Adam doing the old Arnold 4s

11:01Person walks back

11:03Not oi oi

11:05It's the crazy

11:06Whoever shouted oi oi there, you've had a shocker

11:10But at least they're getting beer

11:12It's dry backstage-ness

11:13We've been told that we're not allowed to have alcohol for health and safety

11:16However

11:17And we were told to keep it tight

11:18And you started a chant about gold and gold

11:20I didn't start a chant

11:21These, no offence

11:22Cunt started that chant

11:26And they've outlawed alcohol on stage

11:28But they can't stop me taking my precious heroin

11:31Thank you!

11:35We have to move swiftly on from this I'm afraid

11:36I did take some questions from the audience via Instagram DM

11:39But I'm afraid to say it's slim pickings

11:43Greg James, you've been asked by someone called Annie

11:44If this is a step up or a step down from interviewing Taylor Swift

11:47Again, I remain impartial, it's just a step

11:59Who would win in a fight between Sarah, Nish and Greg?

12:02This is a very delicate question

12:03100% Pascal

12:06100% Pascal

12:07100% Pascal

12:09I think it's Pascal

12:11It's true

12:12It's true

12:14Thank you

12:15Who's going to win in a fight out of Captain Impartial, the gold labubu

12:19And a woman with violence in her eyes?

12:21Yeah

12:22The three of us had very different childhoods

12:25It's muscle memory

12:29That's your wrestling name, muscle memory

12:31Muscle memory

12:32Coming up, two comedians, one grudge, zero chill

12:36Ed Gamble and Phil Wang are about to settle their score

12:39The only way they know how

12:41In the ring

12:42In the ring

Clash of the Comics Season 1 Episode 6

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