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00:00Oh
00:02You all right? Don't stop there. Tilly sometimes lift lifts it up
00:14You've not broke anything have you?
00:16No
00:23Her flabbers have been gasted. You want some of this?
00:30Oh, now there's a controversial statement the gravy
00:36Yeah, yeah, do you like this music no not particularly so suck on that
00:43He's been a bad boy. Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that. Not a chance you. Oh
00:49Yes, look at that. He's had an absolute feast
00:53Whoa for a banana. This is insane. Well, thank god that's over. I've got a day
01:00It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic this
01:04That's very modern isn't it nothing no one saw that coming no
01:08In the week rachel's budget got revealed a bit too early we enjoyed lots of great telly
01:15We went back to the 80s for one last time on netflix
01:18Well last time strange things were out i were pregnant with ezra maybe it's time to have another baby
01:32Whenever there's a new stranger things series things will be going bumping the night at your house, and it is not the demagogans
01:39There was a big sing-along on bbc one
01:42Don't stand wherever you may be i'm the lord of the gods and me
01:48Fight said wherever you may be we are the team from the west country and we'll fight you all
01:55wherever you may be and we'll fight you all in the west country
02:00Okay
02:02Bristol rovers are not support or anything
02:05And jack whitehall was being a bit creepy on prime video
02:11I could kill you right now if I wanted
02:15But i'm not going to do that
02:17Because i want you to suffer
02:22Just like i did
02:23Do you know what i could have quite easily held a lot of grudges with you you know biting a chunk of me hair out
02:29Smacking me around the head with a washing line pole when we're playing jousting in the garden
02:34Spitting chewing gum in me hair the night before prom you know but i haven't listen
02:38And you smack me head off the kitchen side one morning yeah
02:41Muscle me lip open because you're being an arsehole
02:44And mum went right get in the car
02:48My face is hanging off here
02:50I know and i was wearing a lovely cream coat with a fur trim from woolworths felt the dog's bollocks
03:02In wiltshire so just to put you in the picture i got up at six
03:07And i had been working for five hours 55 minutes
03:11When you came into the room as you know i
03:14Personally handle everything myself with absolutely no help giles and his wife mary and then you came in
03:23And when you said your room needs a sort out
03:28That was enough to actually make me want to kill you oh
03:32And just as well they have gun laws that's the thing about marriage nutty is that tomorrow you won't even remember
03:37Yes, but when you do this will be a new crisis tomorrow and that's the nature of marriage
03:42Well, you'll find the nature of marriage is different from what you think
03:45Relationship
03:46Relationship goals
03:48Well, you're going to the shed
03:50You're going to live in the shed you horrible horrible man
03:54On saturday night the remaining strictly stars have made the annual trip up north for this
04:00It's for the blackpool week patterns this is only down road and our drove past the fans this morning
04:05oh
04:07Oh
04:09Cheers
04:13Wow
04:16I'm on one tonight
04:18Lucky me if we can't go out out we stay in
04:21in
04:25Hey i'll tell you who's on tonight paige was telling me steps
04:28Oh
04:30You've danced in blackpool aren't you sean i have many times
04:34I've danced in blackpool many times at the ballroom
04:40Who've we got here look at all these ones these are the professionals
04:49That's actually a group called steps mary i thought they'd like died years ago no why would they die
04:58Oh i like her i know you do god it's got abbott energy in it yeah i was gonna say that innit
05:09It's bringing it back to the noughties with them white suits i want a steps makeover what era is steps
05:161960s i think
05:18I mean seriously banger to be fair banger that's a traditional banger and we're gonna
05:30go into a steps medley they can't just be doing summer of love i need more
05:38oh transition to a new step banger oh yes i love a transition
05:42what do they signify
05:46There she is fresh from dubai he's lisa this is lisa
05:50that about to sing yes
05:52with their big boots on
06:03a little bit of Filth
06:05Oh, I don't like those weird movements they're doing there.
06:08What do they signify?
06:12Is it Jed Wood?
06:14I don't think so. He wasn't in steps.
06:16They still all look good, though, don't they?
06:17Yeah, they do. He's nearly 50.
06:20Oh, is he?
06:22Yes.
06:26Oh, I love a bit of that.
06:30I can do that.
06:32Now, I see everything I can do.
06:33I can do it really fast as well.
06:35Look how fast it goes.
06:41Oh, aye. Bit of bongos. Get the judges in.
06:45Look at this, what?
06:47They look sharp as well, the judges.
06:53It's one for sorrow.
06:54Oh, I love one for sorrow.
06:56One for sorrow.
06:59Ain't it too, too bad?
07:02Breaking someone else's...
07:06Ants, I look like he should be serving canopies.
07:08LAUGHTER
07:09Would you take my love where you are?
07:12Oh, look at Graham.
07:14Oh, it's fucking Graham.
07:16Oh, what's his name?
07:17Graham.
07:18I thought it was Graham.
07:19Graham.
07:20I think you do have a look at Clare and Steps about you.
07:27Stunning.
07:28She's prettier and can sing.
07:36Better than the devil, you know.
07:39Oh, forget.
07:41I feel as I want to get up and dance, won't I?
07:44Well, you don't want to do that, love.
07:47Because it's true, what they say, it's better than the devil, you know.
07:54Do you know what?
07:55I bloody love Blackpool.
07:58Hey, I bet you didn't know this, but the actual ballroom in Blackpool,
08:01it's got a sprung floor, that.
08:02Yes, it is.
08:03So you could play squash on it.
08:04LAUGHTER
08:05This is what everyone came for.
08:16This is what people came for.
08:18Tragedy!
08:20When the feeling's gone, you can't go on, it's tragedy!
08:24They've saved the best till last, haven't they?
08:27Tragedy!
08:28When the feeling's gone and you can't go on, it's tragedy.
08:32Tragedy!
08:34You two are just butchering it.
08:36LAUGHTER
08:36We're going nowhere.
08:41This is the working man's YMCA, this.
08:44It is.
08:44It's controlling, yeah, that's all this tragedy.
08:48Oh!
08:49Oh!
08:50Oh!
08:51Oh!
08:53Oh, my tits went through.
08:56LAUGHTER
08:57That's a tragedy.
09:00Piss off.
09:01In the Cotswolds...
09:04Darling, I've got a surprise...
09:06What is it?
09:07...that I brought back from my very brief trip to Mexico.
09:10What is in there?
09:11Our friends have had something done for us.
09:13Oh, God.
09:14Andrew and his husband, Alfie.
09:17I have a great unveil.
09:18What is that?
09:25Perkins, what do you think?
09:27Luckily...
09:28Perkins looks startled.
09:29Lucky he can't speak.
09:31Well, darling, it's not bad of me.
09:33I think it's...
09:34I mean...
09:35Well, I'm glad you look all right.
09:36I mean...
09:37I mean, you look a bit unshaven.
09:39What?
09:40I think it's done from a photo.
09:42I mean, it's very kind.
09:43Um, I wonder where it should go.
09:46Downstairs cupboard.
09:48On Friday, the BBC brought us news to get us all in the mood.
09:52Is it...
09:53Do you want apple crumble overnight oats
09:55or banoffee overnight wheat bisques?
09:58Banoffee overnight wheat bisques.
10:00Well, I wanted that one.
10:01The last Friday before Black Friday,
10:03even though all the deals have already begun.
10:05Yeah, Paige the Tip was saying that it's Black Friday today,
10:08and it ain't...
10:08No, it's next week.
10:09No, she's going, you know, I need the credit card
10:12because it's Black Friday.
10:15Nice try.
10:17Yeah, very good.
10:19Good afternoon.
10:20Welcome to the BBC News at One.
10:22Oh, gosh.
10:24She looks like Olivia Newton-John.
10:26Now, we ask her every year,
10:28how soon is too soon for the tinsel?
10:31Now it's too soon.
10:32I'm fucking sick of it.
10:33Never too soon for me.
10:35Never too soon for me.
10:37It's not soon enough, sweetheart.
10:38I've pulled the trigger.
10:41My decks are open.
10:42For some, thoughts turn to the tree
10:44as soon as Guy Fawkes has cooled off.
10:46No, I won't go that far.
10:47No, no, no, no, no, no.
10:49But for others,
10:49digging out the decks too soon
10:51can spoil the big day.
10:53How does it really matter?
10:55I was sitting on a loo in an airport
10:57in fucking September
10:59and they're playing Jingle Bells.
11:01I love it that people tree-jaculate
11:02and put it up early
11:04because, do you know what?
11:05Winter's miserable enough.
11:07Stick some fucking festive lights on it
11:09and have a nice time.
11:10Anna White has been asking shoppers in Hull
11:12whether their build-up has started.
11:14I feel we could do with a bit of a cool this year.
11:17I disagree.
11:17I think we need more decorations.
11:19Oh, no, no.
11:20It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
11:24Oh, no.
11:26Oh, no, no, that's cute.
11:29Well, it certainly is at the garden centre.
11:31Auncy garden centre.
11:33And you had seen them fucking three things before.
11:36I've been to that garden centre.
11:38Is it too early to be decked up for Christmas?
11:40Is it mollocks?
11:41Next question.
11:42No, I don't think so.
11:44You're good on your girl.
11:46See, that old lady said she doesn't think so.
11:48Oh, well, then we'll go with her, shall we?
11:51I agree.
11:52Do you think we're going earlier?
11:53Yeah, I think we are,
11:54cos it's old in the shops earlier, isn't it?
11:56So I think that puts you in the mood.
11:58I think it's too early.
12:00They've got the Christmas tree up in the hairdressers already
12:03and I was offered a mince pie and a baileys.
12:06That was last week.
12:07You look like you're dressed to go on Santa's sleigh.
12:10That's a bit bloody rude.
12:11What are you dressed like, dear?
12:12Can I say you look magnificent?
12:14Oh, thank you.
12:16Yeah.
12:16But I've seen them in the gardens already.
12:18Can't be done with coloured lights.
12:19No, no.
12:20I don't like coloured lights.
12:21No, just keep it chic, just keep it classy.
12:24Yeah, you see, I always veer, though,
12:26I want to keep it chic and classy
12:27and then I start putting tinsel over paintings.
12:30No.
12:31My wife, two kids,
12:32it's definitely a Christmas household,
12:35but I'm a bit of a Scrooge, so...
12:37What we want to be asking is a Fiat 500 driver
12:40that's got an eggnog latte in her hand.
12:42Yeah.
12:42Then we'll see if it's too early.
12:44Whatever the reason,
12:46is it ever too early?
12:48Yes.
12:49No.
12:50Amanda White, BBC News,
12:52in a surprisingly festive Hornsea.
12:54Do whatever makes you happy,
12:56that's what I say.
12:57Oh, I love Christmas, Lee.
12:59I don't want anything.
13:02What are you crying for?
13:03Cos I just love it.
13:04It's a happy time, Jenny.
13:05Oh, it is, I know, I just love it.
13:16In Leeds...
13:17Well, you'll be pleased to know
13:19that I've treated myself to a new bra.
13:22Oh, yeah.
13:23Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
13:25Because I needed a new black bra
13:26so that my tits weren't all in a jumble
13:28for my Christmas works, Christmas do.
13:31Finally.
13:31Yeah.
13:32Anyway, and you told me that I were a 36 back,
13:35didn't you, from looking at my other bras.
13:37So I just went into the supermarket,
13:40found the black bras,
13:42got the cup,
13:44put it up against my boob like that.
13:46In the middle of the supermarket?
13:48Yeah, I'm like this.
13:50In the supermarket.
13:52And I thought, that'll do.
13:54Take that.
13:54I haven't even tried it on yet.
13:55You better hope it's all right.
13:56You better try it on tonight.
13:58Put it on tonight.
14:00Well, I mean, what's worse that can happen?
14:02This week, we went back to the upside-down world
14:05with the long-awaited return of this on Netflix.
14:09I've waited all year for this now,
14:11and I didn't really want to watch up with you,
14:12but you're here, so shut up.
14:15Now, Dad, what you have to remember is
14:16that when this series started,
14:19the kids were, like, 12 years old.
14:21Right.
14:21They're about 32 now.
14:22OK.
14:23So you'll have to suspend disbelief a little bit.
14:25I've even got Stranger Things pyjamas, Izzy.
14:32I'm not much of a superfan, yeah?
14:34Bloody hell.
14:35You know, every time I see a Christmas lights now,
14:37I can't look at it the same.
14:38Yeah!
14:38I just think of Stranger Things.
14:40Will!
14:41Will, is that you?
14:42Will!
14:42Send me a message!
14:43Will!
14:49So that's Mike and Nancy's little sister,
14:51the baby that is no longer a baby, Holly.
14:53I want her outfit.
14:54It's cute.
14:59What's she saying there?
15:05Who's she waving to?
15:07What is that?
15:07There's a shadow.
15:12Who's that?
15:15Holly!
15:16Bryce!
15:17I've been calling you!
15:18I'm sorry.
15:19Nobody's there.
15:20Who's she waving at?
15:21I don't know.
15:22Right, this is creepy already, Ellie.
15:24Turn it off.
15:25Playtime's over.
15:27Come on.
15:30She's watching someone again.
15:31I wonder what she's seeing.
15:35Hi.
15:36Who's Holly talking to?
15:37She knows them.
15:38She's not scared of them.
15:40Oh, yeah.
15:40Miss Harris.
15:41She's not talking to anyone.
15:47Oh, you do that all the time.
15:49Yeah, I do.
15:49I'm all right in that world.
15:51That's it.
15:52Standing there talking to nobody.
15:54Well, she's hardly the first child to have an imaginary friend.
15:58How do you need to worry if she was five years old?
16:00Oh, the parents are arguing about her being weird.
16:03It's causing a kerfuffle.
16:09Oh, she's real upset.
16:10Look.
16:11What are you crying for?
16:12Well, she's had a bit of a tough day.
16:14She's talking to people and they're not even there.
16:19Oh, you know, it's always the lights.
16:21It's the lights when they flick off.
16:23That's the sign the demigorgon's coming for their house, is it?
16:26Oh, for fuck's sake.
16:27I don't like this.
16:32Oh, shit.
16:33Oh, it's got to go down the ceiling.
16:34Dehear, dehear, dehear.
16:41Oh, my God.
16:42Oh, it's one of them.
16:44It's a gemigam.
16:45Oh, whatever.
16:49Oh, no.
16:50Oh, my God.
16:51Oh, it's ruined.
16:52We're all over the show.
16:52Oh, my God.
16:59She's pissed going in the bathroom, are they?
17:01Oh, look at her.
17:03I mean, this is a vibe, though, isn't it?
17:06Never mind your bubble bath pet.
17:08Your kids getting hit and dragged down the bedroom by the demagogue.
17:10Hey, baby, what are you doing?
17:12What's wrong?
17:13There's a monster.
17:14Calm, slow down.
17:16Listen to the girl, man, you silly cow.
17:19Mom, please.
17:20You've got to believe me.
17:21You've got blood or not?
17:24Blood.
17:24There you go.
17:25There you go.
17:26Take her seriously.
17:29What the heck?
17:30Mr. Weiner, get the shotgun.
17:32Oh, here we go.
17:40Oh, my God.
17:43Where have they gone?
17:44In the sad, certainly.
17:50Oh, they're going to die.
17:52Are they just holding their breath?
17:53Oh, wow.
17:54How long could you hold your breath for, though?
17:56That is a very good question.
17:58Whilst panicking.
17:59Yeah.
18:05It's Ted!
18:06It's Ted with a golf club.
18:07Thank God.
18:11Oh, shit.
18:12There it is.
18:12I don't have a good feeling about this.
18:14Ted's dead.
18:15Stay back.
18:16Stay back!
18:17Stay back.
18:18Stay back.
18:19Swipe in, you silly cow.
18:23Oh, bloody hell.
18:28Oh, he's killed him.
18:29Oh.
18:30You see what happened when you face it?
18:32Forget that.
18:35Oh.
18:35Oh.
18:36Oh, shit.
18:37Oh, shit.
18:37Oh, shit.
18:37You never run when your feet are wet.
18:42Oh, come on.
18:43Get up.
18:44Oh, leave it.
18:44Oh, please, please.
18:45Don't leave.
18:46It's a mother.
18:49Oh, right.
18:50Here he is.
18:53Yes!
18:54Oh, she's got a ball in.
18:56Oh, straight in the kisser.
19:01Yes!
19:01The Calvary's coming.
19:03Soon enough.
19:03She got the shotting.
19:04That's his heart.
19:06This is a five.
19:09Oh, my God.
19:10What's she seeing?
19:11What's she seeing?
19:11Oh, no, he's a mom.
19:18God, Karen's dead in it.
19:18Fucking joking.
19:19She's dead.
19:20She's dead in it.
19:24Is she still alive?
19:25No.
19:25It's going to be fine.
19:27You're going to be fine.
19:29Holly.
19:30Where's Holly?
19:30Oh, shit.
19:31Yeah, where's Holly?
19:32Oh, shit.
19:32Yeah, where's Holly?
19:36It took Holly.
19:37It took her.
19:37Oh, we've taken her to the Upside Down.
19:39Jesus Christ, man.
19:43I just like how realistic it all is.
19:46It puts stuff in your head.
19:47There's no wonder these kids can't go to sleep.
19:50All the sake they watch.
19:55In Solihull...
19:57Close your eyes.
19:58Where are you?
19:58Keep your eyes closed.
20:00I'm in the kitchen.
20:01Open your eyes.
20:03Teresa and her wife, Anita.
20:05Oh, yeah.
20:06Oh, my God.
20:07What do you reckon?
20:15We're going to have a different colour every night of the week.
20:18Yeah.
20:19And look, a mixture.
20:20Oh, lovely.
20:22I'm very, very, very happy.
20:26Are you?
20:26No.
20:27On Sunday, it was a countdown of the best hymns that took us down memory lane on BBC One.
20:34I love school assembly sing-along.
20:36I've been getting warmed up.
20:37Me and Bobby have been going to mass, haven't we?
20:39This is the big school assembly sing-along.
20:42Oh, it's Ali.
20:43Oh, Ali did get his face in, anyway.
20:45Singing.
20:46Is there singing in the rain?
20:47No.
20:49Ali Jones, they always wheel him out for all the singing, don't they?
20:52There'll be riots if Shine Jesus Shine isn't in the top three.
20:57There'll be riots from me if Lord of the Dance isn't in it.
20:59Oh.
21:00That was our wedding song.
21:01It was our wedding song.
21:02The apples are ripe, the plums are red.
21:06The broad bees are sleeping in a blanket teabed.
21:09Ba-duh, ba-duh, ba-duh, ba-duh, ba-duh, ba-duh.
21:13Hey, listen, we don't remember that.
21:16No.
21:17I can now reveal that number two is a traditional hymn.
21:20Oh, number two.
21:21If this isn't, give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning, switch it off.
21:25It is, of course, give me oil in my lamp.
21:29Take it away.
21:29Give me oil in my lamp.
21:31This is a tune, man.
21:36Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning.
21:39Give me oil in my lamp, I pray, I pray.
21:44Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning.
21:48Give me oil in my lamp, I pray.
21:51Is that meant to be me?
21:52Yes.
21:53Oil in my lamp, keep me burning.
21:56Give me burning till the break of day.
22:01Sing, Hosanna.
22:02Oh, remember this one now.
22:03Sing, Hosanna.
22:05Sing, Hosanna to the King of Kings.
22:09Sing, Hosanna, sing, Hosanna, sing, Hosanna to the King.
22:16God, this is the most undiverse programme I think I've ever watched.
22:20Give me joy in my heart, keep me singing.
22:24I'm kind of over after the first verse of everything.
22:27Are you?
22:27Yes.
22:28You feel I've done that, been there, right?
22:30Let's move on.
22:30Sing, please sing me till the break of day.
22:35Look at that face.
22:37That's like, you were brought up with girls like that, weren't you, Mary?
22:40With faces like that, yes.
22:43Normal people.
22:44Normal.
22:45Sing, Hosanna.
22:47Sing, Hosanna.
22:50Sing, Hosanna to the King of Kings.
22:53Sing, Hosanna.
22:56Sing, Hosanna.
22:58Sing, Hosanna to the King.
23:00Oh, wow, you went all sister act then.
23:06Whoa.
23:07Sing, Hosanna, sing, Hosanna to the King.
23:11Sing, sing.
23:15That was a right old him-ho down, wasn't it?
23:17Yeah.
23:18I actually feel like I've just been in assembly with my father.
23:22Yeah.
23:22I tell you what, bollocks to your Oasis tickets at 450 quid a pop.
23:27Get me in there.
23:28Yeah, that's my Oasis.
23:29Isn't it funny, you forget what you've had for breakfast, but you never forget them words.
23:34What did you have for breakfast?
23:35I don't know.
23:35In Blackpool.
23:45I tell you what, the kids, they're so much like me and Paige.
23:49Jimmy's like me, whereas Eva, 100 mile an hour, always wanting to be doing something.
23:54Like Paige, she comes alive at night.
23:56Pete and his little sister Sophie.
23:59Eva is like you in some respects, though, because remember when Mum gave her 50p for the charity buckets
24:04and everyone else put their money in and then we looked at Eva's hand
24:08and her knuckles were almost white from clinging on to a 50p piece.
24:13Well, she's not daft, is she?
24:15Apple never falls far from the tree.
24:18On Friday night, animals were getting up to all sorts on Discovery.
24:22Drunk animals are quite funny.
24:25I know it's not right.
24:26That's because of the generation you were born into.
24:30Because you had the PG Tips monkeys.
24:32Yeah, smoking monkeys.
24:33Smoking monkeys.
24:34That's not okay.
24:35It's not okay.
24:39Drunk bears.
24:41It's happening.
24:42I've seen drunk monkeys.
24:44They get drunk.
24:44Yeah, I've seen monkeys taking away a bottle.
24:47Oh, do you remember that friend of us?
24:48Oh, yeah.
24:49The monkey was taking booze out of our house the whole time.
24:51And the toothpaste.
24:52And the toothpaste.
24:53Probably to get rid of the smell of the booze so nobody else knew.
24:56In the programme, we met wildlife expert Forrest off to meet a bear.
25:00And now we're pulling into Bowser's Peace Sanctuary, which is where the guy named Stanton, who was apparently an alcoholic, has a bear that was also an alcoholic.
25:10What?
25:11How does a bear get a corkscrew?
25:13And the two helped each other overcome their addictions.
25:18Boy, it's just like an AA meeting in the woods.
25:22An AA meeting in the woods between a bear and a man.
25:25I hear that you have a bear.
25:29Woof, woof.
25:30Shit.
25:32Lupin.
25:33It's a bear.
25:34You want to come and meet him and share some time with him and you'll experience the stuff I can't explain.
25:40Meet the who?
25:40Is he talking about coming and meet the bear?
25:42He must be joking.
25:44What, you want me to go in there with him?
25:47An angry, recovering, alcoholic bear?
25:50So, guys, we are going in with a live bear here, okay?
25:53Your energy and your body language is super important.
25:56Very calm, very smooth, very gentle.
25:59That's how we want to be with him, got it?
26:01How about I just record you from a distance?
26:03From a distance, yeah.
26:05Hey, hey, bear.
26:07Hey, buddy, hi.
26:10Jesus Christ, he's brave, isn't he?
26:12To be fair.
26:13No, no, he looks like a nice bear.
26:14He's a changed bear.
26:16Yeah.
26:17Sobriety has done him a lot of good.
26:19He's done wonders of good for the bear.
26:20Oris, you can give him a treat just right.
26:22Oh, look at that.
26:23I thought he might take your finger off.
26:25No.
26:25Or another finger off.
26:26Oh, he's got one finger gone already.
26:29He's missing a finger.
26:30Index.
26:30Index is gone.
26:32No, that was a different day.
26:35Different day?
26:37I heard that you had a problem with addiction and depression and that he had a problem with addiction.
26:42Can you clarify that for me?
26:44Oh, no.
26:45He's having a coffee.
26:46Somewhere along there, Bowser came and showed me a whole different life that I didn't even know was possible.
26:53Oh, my God.
26:55He's just giving you a hug.
26:56Is that sweet or is he trying to kill him?
26:58No, no, he's having a hug.
26:59Oh, my God.
27:00That bear's getting a bit rough, isn't it?
27:02He's getting a bit chokeholdy, that bear.
27:04And I met Bowser and what that turned into was an understanding how...
27:09Look, I mean, he's got his head right by his mouth.
27:12How that connection can help us.
27:14Ron.
27:16And he's showing off, so I'm going to have to be a daddy.
27:18Oh, he's showing off, so I'm going to have to be a daddy.
27:21Oh, I'm not liking this, Chase, sir.
27:25Yeah, yeah.
27:25Easy.
27:26Shh.
27:27Talk me through what you're doing.
27:29He's wrestling a bear.
27:30Oh, my God.
27:31What I'm actually doing here is grappling with a bear.
27:36I'm trying to save a fucking life.
27:39I'm laying him down.
27:40Yeah.
27:40If I can get to his belly.
27:42Yeah.
27:42He's going to be in his belly in a minute.
27:44Jesus.
27:45No, this ain't real.
27:46This ain't real.
27:48I want to show him his boss.
27:49Tickle, tickle, tickle.
27:51Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
27:52Shh.
27:54No, easy.
27:56This is getting a bit fucking silly now.
27:58Oh, here it goes.
28:00He's trying to eat your head.
28:01It's just a word of warning.
28:03He's trying to eat your head.
28:07He's got his head in his mouth.
28:09No.
28:09This is our love.
28:10OK.
28:11It's fucking brushing him now.
28:13This is how he communicates.
28:16Get out of there now, because this is too much.
28:18I don't want anything to love me that much to you.
28:20No.
28:21I mean, it's meant that he's only ever bitten one of Stanton's fingers off.
28:26Yeah.
28:26You know, that's only really what he's done.
28:28Well, that is a small price to pay for love.
28:33In South East London...
28:35Do you know, I love you in that black T-shirt.
28:38You look quite sexy with that under your shirt.
28:42Yeah.
28:42Annie and her husband, Ronnie.
28:45It reminds me of the days...
28:46Reminiscing a bit here, isn't we?
28:48I know.
28:49You ain't forgot.
28:50You used to have a black T-shirt and you used to have your love beads around it.
28:56That's it.
28:57Except your hair was down your back.
28:59Yeah, well, it's not now, is it?
29:01No.
29:02Your hair's just not there.
29:03I can't even get it to go down my ears, let alone anything else.
29:09On Monday, more con artists were up to no good on BBC One.
29:13Until the boys changed my privacy settings on Facebook, I was getting lots of messages.
29:19Oh, yeah.
29:19From American soldiers.
29:21Wanted to chat with me.
29:26You're off your head.
29:31This isn't any old scam interceptors, Pedders.
29:34This is celebrity scam interceptors.
29:36They do have the celebrity version of everything now, don't they?
29:39Well, celebrities, you know, they don't discriminate.
29:41They can be scammed as well.
29:43What I do is I go on my online banking and think I've been scammed.
29:47Then I look at the transactions and realise they're all me.
29:51Today in the Glasgow Scam Hub.
29:53Glasgow Scam Hub?
29:54Yeah.
29:54Wow.
29:55I didn't know there was one there.
29:56There's a new member of the team.
29:59Celebrity scam interceptor, Amanda Holden.
30:02Amanda Holden!
30:04What's Mandy doing here?
30:05Scammers have been using her image to trick people out of money.
30:10Oh!
30:11Yes, I've read that.
30:13Identity for all.
30:14Yes!
30:15I can't stand injustice.
30:17And my family and friends say, I'm always up for a fight.
30:21She looks like she's always up for a fight, didn't she?
30:24She's like you, Mary.
30:25She likes to catch culprits.
30:26Yeah.
30:27So I put your name in to see where are these profiles lurking.
30:30I was amazed at how many other profiles were actually there.
30:33There were hundreds.
30:34Are these Amanda Holden?
30:35Yeah.
30:36Fucking hell.
30:37So I'd like to ask you if you would recognize this picture at all.
30:41Well, yes, that's me.
30:42It was in Dubai.
30:43Oh, pick that one all.
30:45That was one of the pictures that one of the scammers were using.
30:48But I said, can you please send me a video to verify your identity?
30:51Ah, this is where they get caught out because they can't send a video, can they?
30:54And they did.
30:55What?
30:56Oh, he's got one.
30:57I am Amanda Holden.
31:01Obviously, I am real.
31:03Wow!
31:04They've made a video.
31:05That's a photo.
31:06That's crazy, isn't it?
31:08Isn't it crazy?
31:10And I am shocked you would not believe this is true.
31:13Don't sound out like it.
31:14Uncle Barry's at it all the time on Bloody AI, turning pictures into videos.
31:20Have you not seen him, do we?
31:21Yeah, I have.
31:21Making Auntie Margaret, riding horses and stuff like that.
31:25And we've got something now that we're going to show you, Amanda,
31:27because, Amanda, it's time for you to meet Scamander.
31:31Scamander Holden.
31:32Scamander.
31:33Why are you making it sound sexy?
31:34I don't know.
31:35And I've got one little treat for you.
31:37I have this guy on WhatsApp.
31:39What?
31:41No.
31:42Oh, call him.
31:43Taking on the role of superfan Stephen, I message the scammer.
31:48Oh, here we go.
31:48This is so cool.
31:51Here we go.
31:51This is so cool.
31:52What?
31:53Reply straight away.
31:54Oh, key.
31:56You can use a voice note if you want to say something today.
31:59So you need to say, I'm in the bank now.
32:01You see, that will get him to chat.
32:03Yes, Amanda.
32:04Let's talk.
32:04That will get him to chat.
32:07Hey, Amanda, I don't know what to do with this money.
32:11I don't know where it goes.
32:12Can you just call me, babe?
32:13Babe.
32:14Can you call me?
32:15He's a superfan.
32:16He's pretending.
32:17He's scamming the scammer.
32:18He's scamming Scamander.
32:19Will you talk to my manager because I'm busy and can't take calls now?
32:23To be honest with you, that probably would be something Amanda would say as well.
32:26Imagine if it really is Amanda's manager.
32:29My heart is racing.
32:32This is how I feel just before the thing goes back on Britain's Got Talent.
32:35Oh, she always has to get something done, she.
32:37Amanda, is that your manager?
32:39Is that your manager?
32:39Oh, right.
32:41This is brilliant, isn't it?
32:42Is Amanda there?
32:44I've got her money.
32:46Yeah, OK, you've got her money.
32:47This is the extra.
32:48So we're reaching out at this right now.
32:50Imagine that.
32:51So straightforward.
32:52Not even like lower lines.
32:54Oh, like, yeah, I'll guide you through whatever.
32:56Yeah, this is the instructions.
32:59I've got the bank staff here.
33:01They're just going to check the address.
33:03Amanda's talking to him now.
33:05What's she going to do?
33:05She's going to pretend to be the bank manager.
33:08Oh, my God.
33:09Hello, good afternoon.
33:10I just want to check the amount of money that Amanda needs.
33:15Look at Amanda.
33:15She sounds like a cashier, doesn't she, in the bank?
33:18Hello, sir.
33:19Yeah.
33:19She needs about $10,000 for the investment.
33:21How much?
33:22$10,000?
33:24OK, sir.
33:25Can I let you know my name so you know who you're dealing with?
33:30Yeah, let me know your name.
33:31Yeah, go on.
33:32Go on.
33:33Drum roll.
33:34Dun, dun, dun.
33:35My name is Amanda Holden.
33:38Oh, shit!
33:40You little fucker.
33:42I know everything about you.
33:44Oh, he's uncle.
33:45He's uncle.
33:46Bah!
33:47And just like that, the scam's over.
33:49Yeah.
33:51Yes!
33:52Yes!
33:52Look at her face!
33:53Look at her face!
33:54Look at her face!
33:54She's absolutely seething!
33:58Oh, you little...
34:00That says, you little shit.
34:02I know everything about you!
34:04Well done, Amanda.
34:06Good girl!
34:07All he'll do now is shut that account down and pop up as Alicia Dixon.
34:11Yeah.
34:20In Hall...
34:21I think you've done real well, Lee, in a week.
34:23It's good.
34:24What are you looking at?
34:25Your mustache.
34:26Best friends Jenny and Lee.
34:28Do you know something?
34:28I keep forgetting I've got it.
34:30Do you?
34:30I was talking to somebody yesterday and they kept...
34:32You know, like, staring at me.
34:33But what are you looking at?
34:35No, it's grown.
34:36That's right when you said, oh, he looked like an 80s porn star.
34:39Really?
34:41I won't go that far.
34:44This week, it was a surprising all-star turnout for a brand new drama on Prime Video.
34:50Because you've got...
34:50I tell who's in this and all, it's David Duchovny, out of the X-Files.
34:55Sir.
34:56Remember him?
34:57No, I can't.
34:58But Gillian Anderson?
35:00I don't know where...
35:00She was iconic in the day.
35:02Well, I can't remember.
35:03You don't take anything in, do you, at all?
35:05But I don't even remember watching it.
35:11There's Jack.
35:12Aye.
35:12I remember him now.
35:16Have they made Jack Whitehall look really sexy?
35:19Everybody's looking sexy at the moment.
35:20I think it's the testosterone gel.
35:22It's worrying.
35:23You need to just monitor that, Mum.
35:28Oh, US Customs.
35:29Nobody wants to go through US Customs.
35:31Have you done your Esther?
35:32Come with me, please, sir.
35:35Sure.
35:36Oh, Jesus.
35:37He's only just arrived.
35:38Hopefully they don't get the old glove out.
35:41My name's Nikki Delgado.
35:42I'm an agent with the Department of Homeland Security.
35:44Oh, this sounds a bit ominous.
35:46Do you know the Tanner family?
35:48And a man called Jamie Tanner?
35:50Yes.
35:50Yes, he knows him.
35:51He's a bit too calm for me.
35:53I spent the last month working for him and living in his house.
35:56OK, what's happened to Jamie Tanner?
35:59Well...
35:59What's she showing him?
36:02Jamie Tanner, is he dead?
36:04This is horrible.
36:05What's horrible?
36:06Think someone's toast, Paris.
36:08But in a way, I'm not surprised.
36:10Why am I not surprised?
36:11Well, what is it?
36:12That's a strange comment, isn't it?
36:14Jamie Tanner was not a very nice man.
36:17Oh.
36:17Oh.
36:18Neither was Elsie Tanner in Coronation Street.
36:20She was a bugger.
36:28Malice.
36:29Is it not a name?
36:30No.
36:31Malice is a type of meaning.
36:34Like a palace.
36:36No.
36:40Oh, now that looks nice.
36:43Don't forget we've gone back in time now.
36:45Oh, no.
36:46Hang on a minute.
36:48What?
36:48I'm going back in time.
36:50Look at that bud.
36:54He's got a six-pack and everything.
36:57Well, I can get to that very easily.
36:59Go on, then.
37:01Hi.
37:02You must be Jamie.
37:03Yeah.
37:04Adam.
37:04So nice to meet you.
37:05What an amazing place this is.
37:07How long have you had it?
37:0910 or 12 years?
37:10Already bad vibes.
37:11You're here to tutor Millie?
37:12Yeah, just a bit.
37:14A tutor?
37:15Oh, I had a couple of them.
37:17Mm, they didn't do much for you, did the maths?
37:19English, French.
37:23Waste of time.
37:24A bit later, and Jack had picked up a couple of octopuses for dinner.
37:28Oh, my God.
37:33He's unhinged.
37:34Daniel, I don't like him.
37:35He's scaring me.
37:36He's really giving me the eebie-jeebs.
37:42That's Octopus.
37:43Oh.
37:46Gross.
37:47Very gross.
37:47Yeah.
37:48Love to fucking gut you and hang you on a lane.
37:50What?
37:51What the fucking hell?
37:56Is he a psychopath?
37:57That's not normal.
37:59Oh, really?
38:00Oh, yeah.
38:01Get me out of here.
38:02Get me out of here.
38:03Travelodge.
38:04Travelodge.
38:05Literally.
38:05Travelodge.
38:06I think if we're able to shake off Damien for the night, maybe we should try out that place.
38:11Oh.
38:13Your kind of establishment?
38:18Oh, it's CD.
38:20Oh, is it a strip club?
38:21Do you know they do lessons in that now?
38:28Night school.
38:29I was going to, yeah, I was going to join.
38:32Well, two years ago, I was.
38:34Two Sambucas, please.
38:36Sambuca.
38:37Oh, no.
38:38Yamas.
38:39Yamas.
38:41Yamas.
38:42Yasso.
38:45Boring his away, getting him pissed.
38:47Why is he doing it?
38:48Why is he trying to get Jamie pissed?
38:50And I used to do that at all.
38:51Oh, you lying get.
38:52I've never seen you tip a drink out.
38:59We've all been there.
39:01I've crawled down my drive a few times, but not all the way home.
39:04You always crawl.
39:09Yeah, in fact, I do crawl a lot when I'm drunk.
39:11Yeah.
39:14Oh, no, this is creepy.
39:16Jack's got him where he wants him, nothing.
39:18What does Jack want to do to him?
39:24This is not tomorrow night when I get him from Christmas do, waiting for me to go up to bed.
39:28I could kill you right now if I wanted.
39:31Oh, no.
39:32A what?
39:32But why does he even consider that?
39:35But I'm not going to do that.
39:37Oh, well, what are you going to do then, you weirdo?
39:39What a nasty piece of work he's turned out to be.
39:43The cosy manny.
39:44Because I want you to suffer.
39:46Oh.
39:47Hello, what?
39:48Now, this sounds revengeful.
39:49There is something.
39:51Doesn't it?
39:52Just like I did.
39:53Oh.
39:53It's a vendetta.
39:56Ooh.
39:57For what?
39:59Oh, frigging hell.
40:01Now I've got to sit here all night working out.
40:04Oh, oh, oh, oh.
40:05And what's the connection?
40:06And what's the connection?
40:07It's very unlikely that Jack Whitehall will be a serial killer.
40:12I mean, it makes it rather unpleasant to watch beggars' belief.
40:16It's almost as if you had Queen Elizabeth II being a psycho killer.
40:21You know, Jack Whitehall.
40:24Of course not.
40:25It's unlikely, isn't it?
40:28In Leeds.
40:29Have you seen Art of Auntie Margaret since she's been back off her halls?
40:33So, she called round last night.
40:35She didn't come in.
40:36She just stood at the door because she'd been sorting out at Arcade is.
40:39Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
40:42Margaret didn't have a right lot to say.
40:44I can't believe, since Margaret's come back off holiday,
40:47none of us have heard anything off her.
40:50Where's she been?
40:51Been to Selby with Barry.
40:52Yeah, bloody.
40:53Her and Barry being out for a drive.
40:55God.
40:56You'd think she'd have had enough of him after spending 11 nights with him.
40:59I think I'd want to strangle Toby after 11 nights on holiday with him just us two.
41:04Never mind, go for a drive to Selby.
41:06I know.
41:07Bloody hell, Margaret.
41:09Put Barry down.
41:11She can't get enough of him.
41:13This week, the world's sexiest man was putting us to sleep on the BBC.
41:18I'm keeping the remote.
41:19I know.
41:19Why are you keeping the remote?
41:20Because you won't let me watch it.
41:22Oh, God.
41:24Will you sit still?
41:25Oh, did he?
41:28CBeebies Bedtime Story.
41:30We're watching C-fucking-Beebies.
41:32Hello.
41:33I'm Jonathan.
41:34Oh, hello, Jonathan.
41:37I know who you are.
41:38Oh, calm down.
41:39I'm not calming down.
41:41It's bedtime.
41:42Do you love magic?
41:43Oh, yeah, I love magic, Jonathan.
41:45He's just been crowned the most sexiest man 2025.
41:49Christ almighty.
41:50I'm dying to watch this then, Julie.
41:52Yeah, me too.
41:53Oh, he's doing this for the mums, isn't he?
41:56Is he?
41:57Well, and some does.
41:59I'd love to be able to cast spells like witches and wizards.
42:02Oh, he's got a lovely voice.
42:03He has got a nice voice, hasn't he?
42:04It's rather smoothy.
42:05It'd be good for telephone sex, if you weren't into that.
42:09And if I was magical, do you know what I'd do right now?
42:13What?
42:13I think you're magical, Jonathan.
42:15Oh, please, can you get a grip?
42:17You know, if I was magical, you wouldn't be fucking sat in there.
42:21You wouldn't be telling bedtime stories.
42:24I'd conjure up a cute, cuddly little friend
42:27to sit here with me while I read you a bedtime story.
42:30I bet you would.
42:32That's me.
42:33I'm cute.
42:34I'm cuddly.
42:35I'm the one you want.
42:39There he is.
42:41Ladies.
42:43Maybe I am magic after all.
42:44I think you are.
42:46No, I see.
42:46I can't cope with this.
42:47What are you talking about?
42:49Is he?
42:50Look at Jonathan's bulge.
42:52Bloody hell.
42:54I love a jeans bulge.
42:56Do you?
42:58Now, we're ready for a magical bedtime.
43:02So, snuggle up and get ready for an exciting adventure.
43:07Okay.
43:08Snuggle up.
43:08I'm getting snuggled, Jonathan.
43:11I think you should go home and watch this.
43:13It's called Room on the Broom.
43:14Room on the Broom.
43:16Room on the Broom.
43:17Room on my broom, mate.
43:19Oh, for fuck's sake.
43:21And it was written by Julia Donaldson.
43:24Julia Donaldson.
43:25One of my favourite actual authors, that.
43:27Julia Donaldson.
43:29She writes kids' books.
43:30Yeah.
43:31With illustrations by Axel Scheffler.
43:33Say Axel Scheffler, Steve.
43:36Axel Scheffler.
43:38Not bad.
43:39The witch had a cat and a very tall hat and long ginger hair, which she wore in a plait.
43:47The witch is ginger like me.
43:49Yeah, she looks a bit like you.
43:50And how the cat spat.
43:51That's insulting.
43:53How the cat purred.
43:56Oh.
43:57Purred.
43:59What is going on here?
44:00Do you know what this is?
44:01Death flirted up, not bedtime story.
44:03And how the witch grinned.
44:05I'm lost and transfixed by this.
44:07He could be reading the Bible for all I know.
44:10Then, out of the bushes, on thundering paws.
44:14You don't have to look at the pictures.
44:16You just listen to his voice.
44:17The dog with the hat in his jaws.
44:21He dropped it politely, then eagerly said.
44:24Bent over and pick it up.
44:27Banana.
44:28I am a dog, as keen as can be.
44:31Is there room on the broom for a dog like me?
44:34Are you attracted to him?
44:35Well, I think he's quite entertaining.
44:38You wouldn't throw him out.
44:39That tells me I'm not the right age group to go out with him.
44:43However, my only thing I have against this is I'm dreading it ending.
44:49She dropped it politely and bent her head low.
44:52Go on.
44:54Then said, as the witch tied her plait in a bow.
44:57I am a bird.
44:58I'm a bird.
44:59As green as can be.
45:01Is there room on the broom for a bird?
45:04Like me?
45:04Yes.
45:05Is there room on your broom for a bird like me?
45:09They shot through the sky to the back of beyond.
45:13The witch clutched her bow, but let go of her wand.
45:17Aww.
45:19So now the wand's gone now.
45:20So who's going to find the wand now?
45:22You two are invested in it.
45:24Then, all of a sudden, from out of a pond, nept a dripping wet frog with a dripping wet wand.
45:32A dripping wet wand?
45:35Oh, for God's sake.
45:37That's a bit much.
45:39I'll tell you what, you'd be paying £2.50 a minute if this were on Babes Day.
45:44Over the moors and the mountains they flew, the frog jumped for joy and...
45:50Oh!
45:51What's that?
45:53The broom snapped in two.
45:54Oh, my days!
45:56Oh, the last thing you want to do is snap your broom mid-flight!
46:00The witch was so kind to let the dog, the bird and the frog join her and the cat on the broom.
46:06Yeah.
46:07I wonder if there's room on the broom for a Jonathan like me.
46:10Good night.
46:12I don't think so.
46:15Oh!
46:16Turn it off!
46:18Night-night, Lee.
46:19Night-night.
46:19Well, Sandy's doing the Riviera by rail.
46:27Toxvig takes the train tomorrow at five past eight.
46:30And we've got new drama, a true story from the Troubles.
46:34Maxine Peake and Lola Petticrew in Say Nothing beginning Monday at nine.
46:39Stay with us here on Channel 4.
46:40The Last Leg is on the way next.
46:42The Last Leg is on the way next.
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