- 2 months ago
Holiday Engagement
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Us, Hillary.
00:02I don't think we're gonna work.
00:04What?
00:06Look, I need a partner in life.
00:09A wife who's going to go where I need to go and do what I need to do and be excited about my accomplishments.
00:14I can't get dragged down by somebody who's out saving dogs and cats.
00:17God knows what else.
00:19Jason, is this about moving to Pittsburgh? I'll move to Pittsburgh.
00:26A new VP position opened up in our Pittsburgh office and I guarantee I am the top pick for this position.
00:32We have a life here.
00:34What am I gonna do with Pittsburgh?
00:38Look, I just, I have to stay focused and mobile to advance in my career.
00:42I gotta keep my priorities straight.
00:44Believe me, this is one of those tough decisions, but it's for the best.
00:48For both of us.
00:49I just, I can't make a mistake.
00:51Not now.
00:56Why did I pick up a mistake?
01:03Just, I have to get this.
01:06Just, just, just.
01:07Go for it.
01:10No, no, no. That is exactly how you...
01:14He's a jerk. I knew he was too good to be true.
01:17Maybe my mom was right. Maybe I let him keep one foot out the door.
01:20Alright, it's time to pick the winner for this week's KJWM Weekly Holiday Vacation Giveaway.
01:25And the lucky winner is...
01:27Hillary Burns!
01:28Oh my God, you won!
01:30We are finally in the running for a trip to Mexico.
01:33It could be our honeymoon!
01:34What?
01:35All of my sisters found perfect men, and I can't even get one in the door.
01:40Is that it?
01:42Is that what would make you happy right now, to bring home a man for Thanksgiving?
01:46I just can't go home all alone. I just can't face it. I can't do it. Not now.
01:50Okay. Look. All you have to do, just post this with a flirty little intro video of your pretty face and voila.
01:58All you have to do is click. I'll help you do the video.
02:03You really think it's a good idea to bring a stranger home or possibly a psycho to my parents' house for Thanksgiving?
02:10Hillary, I just wanted you to know I've planned a small family gathering at the house for when you and Jason arrive.
02:17Do it.
02:18What?
02:19Of course, if he preferred white.
02:22Hi.
02:23Hi.
02:24Hi.
02:25My name is Hillary.
02:28I need to hire a fake fiancé to bring home to my family for Thanksgiving.
02:32In return, you will receive two free first class tickets to Playa del Carmen, Mexico.
02:37So just record a quick video intro, post it to this page, and we'll get back to you.
02:46Whoa!
02:47What? Who is it? Come in.
02:48What?
02:49I can't believe it.
02:50Look at all of these.
02:55All right.
02:56Mexico has got some of the sweetest waves, man.
03:00I mean, after the weekends over here, we can just serve, sign, serve, eat, serve, and then serve some more.
03:08I do have irritable bowel syndrome.
03:11But I really need to get to Mexico.
03:12I knew this was a bad idea.
03:17Come over here.
03:18No!
03:19No!
03:20No!
03:21I don't like it.
03:22Come on!
03:23Just talk to him.
03:24He's cute.
03:25He kind of looks like Jason.
03:26Hello?
03:27No!
03:28No!
03:29No!
03:30No!
03:31No!
03:32No!
03:33No!
03:34No!
03:35No!
03:36No!
03:37I don't like it.
03:38Come on!
03:39Just talk to him.
03:40He looks like Jason.
03:41Hello?
03:42Hi.
03:43Is everything okay over there?
03:44Depending on what you mean by okay.
03:46Everything's great.
03:47Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?
03:49Oh.
03:50Okay.
03:51My name is David.
03:52I'm an actor.
03:53Hey, wait.
03:54I know you.
03:55Hey, wait.
03:56I know you.
03:57You're the cell phone guy in the costume.
04:00That's just sad.
04:01He's our first interview.
04:03Come on.
04:04Let's go.
04:05Hi.
04:06Excuse me.
04:07Oh!
04:08Hi.
04:09I said acting is my full-time job, and today I'm playing the Lord's cell phone.
04:14Oh, crap.
04:15I knew it.
04:16Come on.
04:17We gotta go back to Seattle.
04:18That's right.
04:19And you're the reporter?
04:20Yeah.
04:21I was sorry to hear about the newspaper shutting down.
04:24Did you lose your job, or...?
04:25What do you think?
04:26Right.
04:27Sorry.
04:28Obvious.
04:29For what it's worth, I got fired playing a big red cell phone, so...
04:34Oh, I'm sorry.
04:35Don't be.
04:36You could help me save my very last red dignity.
04:39I mean, if I can't book a job playing a fake fiancé for a weekend, I should probably call it quits.
04:45Are you free to meet Hillary tomorrow, face to face?
04:48Sure thing.
04:49Hey.
04:50Okay, so, I Facebooked him, he hasn't responded, and when you Google him, the only thing that comes up are a few photos of him on Flickr with some chick named Lindsay on a beach.
05:02So, looks like he's not a psycho, he's just another out-of-work loser actor.
05:06Did you sound like my agent?
05:07Oh.
05:08Hi.
05:09Hi.
05:10Um, you two have fun.
05:13Great.
05:14Hi.
05:15So, I checked out?
05:19Yeah, seems like it.
05:21Do you think that Jason is more of a corporate lawyer type or...
05:25Corporate?
05:26What kind of car do you drive?
05:27Uh, 98, Jeep Grand Cherokee, fully loaded.
05:29We'll take my car.
05:30Okay.
05:31Okay, I'm gonna find you on Facebook, accept my request, click on all my family photo albums, memorize all the names, everybody's clearly marked.
05:38Okay, will do.
05:39Okay.
05:40Well, I guess I'll pick you up here, tomorrow, 8 a.m. sharp.
05:45Sounds good.
05:47Okay.
05:52Um...
05:55Sorry, I don't know what's going on here with the thing, the hair.
05:58I'll take care of it.
05:59Yeah?
06:00Okay, go.
06:01Bye.
06:02I'm gonna buy your coffee.
06:03You clean up real good.
06:05You look nice yourself.
06:06And don't forget, my parents, I'm gonna take care of it.
06:09I'm gonna take care of it.
06:10Yeah?
06:11Okay, go.
06:12Bye.
06:13Bye.
06:14Bye.
06:15Bye.
06:16Bye.
06:17Bye.
06:18Bye.
06:19Bye.
06:20Bye.
06:21Bye.
06:22Bye.
06:23Bye.
06:24Bye.
06:25Bye.
06:26Bye.
06:27Bye.
06:28Bye.
06:29you are a lawyer about that i don't know if i'm gonna be able to pull that off you're an actor
06:34okay hit me with the family breakdown okay uh narrative mother housewife extraordinaire
06:46roy dad the councilman uh your youngest sister is trish joy right right trish is the middle one
06:53and uh her husband is gil and joy's fiance's name is uh john paul peter you gotta get these straight
07:00they're all gonna be at the party party yeah it's no big deal just family how long were you and jason
07:06engaged uh we dated for seven months we were engaged for two wow what happened he's uh he's under a lot
07:15of pressure really stressed he got this big job promotion offer in pittsburgh so oh look here we
07:20are okay just remember say as little as possible and follow my lead
07:27here we go here we go oh honey honey honey you're finally here oh sweetie come here
07:39huh you know you could wash that car every once in a while what about jason's tesla i wanted to ride
07:49in that oh that was my fault i wanted to save my mileage so we took the jet instead oh well at least
07:55at least we finally get to meet jason oh you're practically part of the family now yeah okay well
08:04let's go in okay everybody's looking forward to meeting you okay come on in here
08:11oh my god i thought you said this was family only i didn't want the whole town to think that you're
08:18going to be a spinster forever everyone this is hillary's fiance jason hi hi how's it going oh
08:28hey oh jason yeah you were that firm that's defending that uh schmuck shorman shorman yeah man he's as
08:36guilty as they come if you ask me milking all those suckers out of their life savings you know
08:41frank i think everybody's considered innocent until proven guilty i mean isn't that right
08:45jason yeah mr burns call me right yes pleasure to meet you roy you know what they say does it feel
08:55to be defending a crook like that well i you know what frank why don't you get yourself some eggnog
09:00i just whipped up a fresh batch thanks practice comes for the eggnog yeah so listen uh what kind
09:07of cases do you do do you do uh i don't know fraud or extortion or money laundering uh yeah yeah i do
09:14all of those come on dad leave poor jason alone he's spent enough time in the office already yeah doing
09:20all that lawyering did you play uh yes but quite badly no that would be great that you mind if i
09:27know
09:28you know when hillary was young she used to sing oh no oh no no no no no
09:38okay everybody it's time to show the engagement ring wait till you see this beauty ta-da
09:53i i
10:03that's a funny story actually right sweetie it turns
10:08out hillary lost a few pounds and the ring doesn't fit her anymore and this morning she's
10:13taking a shower she gets out of the shower and the ring falls off her finger into the toilet
10:18she calls me hysteric crazy i was crazy crazy she was she was freaking out i get there so what do i
10:24do i gotta man up right roy i gotta do it it's go time so i get down there on my knees and i i go in
10:30there i go in there i go deep i can feel it i can feel it right there it gets away then i have to
10:34i have to go a little bit deeper and i'm reaching for it and nope deeper deeper yes really small
10:40hands it's disturbing actually and i can feel it i can feel it right right on the edge of my finger
10:44it's right there it's right there and i got it got the ring got the ring yeah it's so cute oh god
10:51we decided to leave it home till we get it resized yeah yeah it's better safe than sorry right sweetie
11:03i'm gonna get a drink hey hell isn't it i thought you quit i did
11:10so is my fiance boring yours with his foot talk yet no but i think david's got his hands pretty full
11:20did i say david yeah and jason of course david's a friend i was on the phone
11:29well i guess we better go back in there if mom has anything else to surprise me with can you please
11:33tell me deal good to see you oh my sweetie oh we're good this is our picture's taken
11:40oh yes we always gather together here hey everybody
11:47worry i could show jason his room well honey don't be silly the inn is full besides i don't expect you to
11:54have separate rooms just separate beds and if you need extra pillows or blankets just ask me that's
12:06okay mom i think i know where everything is okay well you take it tonight i'll take tomorrow night whatever
12:11you want okay i'm gonna go get change for bed okay oh oh sorry um no i'm sorry i thought you were
12:28still in the pajamas please uh no i don't uh i don't wear pajamas i didn't bring it okay it's fine i'll just
12:36fine see if my dad has him great
12:46daddy daddy i plead not guilty sorry what sorry i came to ask you if jason could borrow some pajamas
12:55oh i don't have any your mother and i sleep in the wrong oh since when oh since joy went off to
13:02college we ran around naked for a week you should see all right no no i don't need
13:06this guy uh this jason he treats you right doesn't yeah yeah of course what you love him what it's
13:17an easy question should be an easy answer dad i'm marrying the guy so do you love him yes i do
13:25hey beetles are right after all all you need is love
13:37that's what you want to know
13:48i just wanted to let you know that i may have lucked into some tickets to my car
13:54carmen and um i don't know i thought maybe you might want to go
14:12call me
14:31morning morning sweetheart where's trish gill trish has sold the hotel gail hasn't shown up yet
14:38why are they staying at a hotel when there's plenty of room here well with emma and the nanny
14:42maybe they felt they'd be a bother i don't even know why trish has a nanny i mean come up i felt like
14:48she's ever had a job but it's nice that her husband can afford to give her whatever she wants
14:53he's just never around how about jason how much does he earn mom oh sweetie i just want to make sure
15:02that you're cared for oh come on mom it is the 21st century you don't need to be cared for
15:08give her own jobs right help actually the newspaper i was working for shut down oh honey not again
15:16well it's not my fault nobody reads newspapers anymore everything's on the internet well just in time i want
15:24you to tell me if my yam casserole is sweet enough oh i'm sorry i'm not a fan oh yes you are you're such
15:32a joker he's such a joker he loves yams like i said he loves yams
15:36okay i made that with splenda instead of sugar
15:50maybe just a little more time he is really funny he is he really is he's so funny he's such a kidder
15:59well i just hope he's more serious when it comes to setting a wedding date please don't start honey
16:05i'm sorry if i seem a little anxious it's just that i have been deprived of planning the weddings
16:14for not one but two of my daughters here we go can't you girls understand that a mother wants to
16:23plan her daughter's weddings oh since you were babies i've dreamed of this and then to find out that
16:29trisha elope to an island well what about joy joy's engaged yes joy's in fear yes yes she is and has
16:38been for two years i will be six feet under by the time she sets a date
16:46i'm sorry if i'm a little upset but but honey it's come down to you you're the only one i can count on
16:55i'm i'm uh december 21st i'm i'm uh december 21st i didn't want to tell you i wanted to we were
17:04going to surprise you at dinner but that's it december 21st you're getting married on december
17:1021st yes oh my god it's kind of soon but it's fabulous oh my darling girl oh this is fantastic
17:20oh did you hear i'm so happy well okay i have to book see the community hall and and call gail's
17:28greenery i don't even know the number we wanted something small
17:41what are they doing out there well your father got it in his head that he was going to deep fry
17:46the turkey this year once we get this baby boiling you just rig the bird up to this line just drop it
17:53in the oil huh whatever you say all right let's fire this bad boy up all right get that would you
17:58yeah let me ask you something uh-huh you ever represent a councilman or a politician or anything
18:03no but not personally but you could huh sure good to know good to know uh wait don't you want to
18:12wait until the oil come on we're missing the gate besides it's gonna take half an hour for it to get
18:17boiling come on oh god okay so it's me no things are not going well at all i just told my mom that
18:25david and i are getting married in a month you're marrying david now that was quick no no no me and
18:29jason i just i blurted it out that we're getting married on december 21st wait what this is nuts
18:35i'm putting you on speaker well no because what what if jason really did get cold feet and and he's
18:39gonna come back to me because i mean more than more than pittsburgh and then the wedding's already planned
18:44which is which is actually not that crazy no it's crazy hill it's super crazy i know that's crazy
18:51what are you gonna do look i don't know surf's up greg's gonna be here any minute i gotta go
18:56what yeah just listen to your heart just ride the wave just ride the wave what
19:05sophie sophie you know roy i think it's probably been 30 minutes should we go
19:13check on the pot do you know i could use a little you know legal counsel
19:20oh well you're a councilman right i'm sure you have a great lawyer he's a little too
19:27involved you know what i mean anyway what would be better than keeping it in the family
19:32all right all right well i guess i better go drop that bird in the oil oh uh yeah you sure you don't
19:38need a hand with that no no i got it uh ticklish hi that is beeping thank you um peter can i have my
19:54my foot back man oh of course thank you you're welcome
20:10anything important oh no no nothing important
20:22oh
20:38oh oh
20:39Roy!
20:44Roy!
20:46For the love of...
20:49Well, this isn't so bad, is it?
20:56Oh, um, I asked for seltzer.
20:59This looks like tap water with cheese flooding in it.
21:03Sorry, Mrs. Burns.
21:06I can see that your old boyfriend hasn't amounted to much.
21:11Hi!
21:12Sorry we're late.
21:13Hey.
21:14Hi.
21:15Where's Gil?
21:16Uh, the benefit that he was attending ran late,
21:19so now he's snowed in in New York.
21:22Well, that's too bad.
21:23I know.
21:24If he were here, he could have gotten us a table at the golf club.
21:27Then we wouldn't have to eat in this dump.
21:29Hey, it's not snowing in New York.
21:31Hmm.
21:32It's not.
21:33You know, Gilbert has a platinum membership to all the best clubs.
21:36Well, I'm not a big golf fan, so this place suits me just fine.
21:43This is fine.
21:44This is great.
21:45I...
21:46No?
21:48I thought you said that you met Jason at a charity golf tournament.
21:53Mm-hmm.
21:54That you were covering for that paper?
21:55That's right.
21:56Yeah.
21:57Yeah.
21:58But I'm not a fan of the golf.
22:00But, you know, like a spectator.
22:03But I just play.
22:04But very, very badly.
22:05Very, very badly.
22:06That's why they gave you a car.
22:08Yeah.
22:09Tesla, right?
22:10Yes.
22:11He won the car at the tournament.
22:12And you interviewed the winner.
22:14Look at me.
22:15Mm-hmm.
22:16He forgets everything.
22:17Right, honey?
22:18Crazy.
22:19You're sandbagging, aren't you?
22:20Oh, my God.
22:21Sandbagging.
22:22Oh, my God.
22:23Sandbagging.
22:24My name is Paco, and I'll be your server this holiday evening.
22:26Would you like to hear about our specials?
22:28Of course.
22:29Uh, okay, well, basically what we have is, anything that's chicken, poyo, we switch
22:35that out for guajolote.
22:37Guajolote?
22:38Guajolote.
22:39Oh!
22:40Guajolote.
22:41That means turkey.
22:43And that turkey tacos are particularly delicious tonight.
22:46My name.
22:47David?
22:48Yes?
22:49Hey!
22:50It's Julian!
22:52Hi, Julian!
22:53Hey!
22:54Hi there!
22:55Hi there!
22:56But my name is Jason.
22:58Jason.
22:59Jason?
23:00Jason is my name.
23:01No, it's not.
23:02Really?
23:03Yeah, it's Jason.
23:04Look, my...
23:05David is my middle name, so there's confusion sometimes.
23:08Oh, okay.
23:09Alrighty.
23:10Well, I mean, it's been a while since we did that bus and truck tour pair together.
23:13Oh, God, you look good.
23:16Are you still in the biz?
23:18Yes.
23:19So, what are you doing?
23:20Oh, you're looking at it.
23:21It's a nightmare, yeah.
23:22I had to move back in with my parents to get a more stable career going on.
23:25So, here I am.
23:26All right, I hear you.
23:28Gracias.
23:29De nada.
23:30I'll be there.
23:31It never stops.
23:32Anyway, I'll be back in a minute to get your orders.
23:34Just word to the wise, don't get the huevos rancheros.
23:37I had them for breakfast.
23:38I feel like there's a knife in my colon.
23:39Happy Turkey Day, everyone.
23:41Olé!
23:42Olé!
23:43Jillian.
23:44So, Jason David, what biz are you still in?
23:53Oh, I'm in the law.
23:56I do a little pro bono work.
24:01I'm charity.
24:03And I represented a few theater companies a few years back.
24:08So, theater people are so...
24:11I'm crazy.
24:13I do some salsa.
24:15He's a giver.
24:16Mmm.
24:17Mmm.
24:18How could you forget?
24:19We went over that at least a half a dozen times.
24:22I've never played golf before.
24:23It's not a part of my repertoire.
24:25And what was all that with the crazy waiter in the diner?
24:27We were in a production of hair eight years ago.
24:29How was I supposed to know we'd end up in...
24:31Where are we, anyway?
24:32Is everything okay?
24:34Yes, we were just talking about the mix-up of the diner.
24:37Oh, what mix-up?
24:39Well, I'm pooped.
24:41Oh, I'm pooped, too.
24:42It's not every day that we blow up a turkey around here.
24:45You know, dinner was actually kind of fun, and the Mexican food wasn't half bad.
24:50Oh, it was good.
24:51Not as good as your turkey dinner would have been.
24:53It wasn't even close.
24:55You know, if Hillary doesn't take me to the curb, maybe I'll be lucky enough to try it next year.
25:00Well, you know, I didn't want to deep-fry that turkey in the first place.
25:05But when Hillary gets an idea stuck in his head...
25:09We've got stuffing, three pies, and my yam casserole, which is always better on the second day anyway.
25:16That is so true.
25:18You know, it's getting late.
25:20So you go to bed, get a good night's sleep, and we'll see you in the morning, okay?
25:25Good night.
25:27Your turn to sleep on the cot.
25:31I'm sorry.
25:34No.
25:36No, it was me.
25:38I dropped the ball.
25:40I just, I don't know why you're doing this.
25:42I mean, I know you want the tickets, but there's gotta be an easier way to get to Mexico.
25:46Playa del Carmen.
25:50That's where I met my girlfriend.
25:54Or rather, my ex-girlfriend.
25:56I guess I thought that if I took her back to the resort where we met...
26:01And...
26:02I don't know, it might read Night The Spark or something.
26:07But I didn't have enough money for the ticket, so...
26:10Well, I'm sure it'll work.
26:12I hope so.
26:14I mean, she's kind of dating this other guy right now.
26:19But who does she call every time they break up?
26:24Me.
26:25So obviously, she, deep down, she really doesn't want to be with him.
26:32Oh.
26:33So you're the get-back guy.
26:35What?
26:36What, man?
26:38The get-back guy?
26:39You know, the guy she calls to get back at her ex.
26:41No, I'm not that guy.
26:42He's that guy.
26:43Well, when you met her, was she seeing him?
26:44No, they just broken up.
26:45See?
26:46No, no, no.
26:47It's not like that.
26:48No, they broke up.
26:49Uh-huh.
26:50And then we met.
26:51And then we were, you know, together.
26:52Like a couple.
26:53For how long?
26:54Uh...
26:55Four...
26:56Five weeks.
26:57Uh-huh.
26:58And then we met.
26:59And then we were, you know, together.
27:01Like a couple.
27:02For how long?
27:03Uh...
27:04Four...
27:05Five weeks.
27:06And then she went back to him.
27:10Yeah, but she keeps calling me.
27:12Uh...
27:13All right.
27:14It may look like I'm the get-back guy.
27:16But I know that all she needs to do is get away from that...
27:21That hold he has on her.
27:23And then she can realize that what she really wants...
27:26Is me.
27:28Okay.
27:29Trust me.
27:31I know.
27:32She's materialistic and sentimental.
27:35So this could work.
27:37Maybe.
27:38I mean the...
27:39The ticket.
27:43Are you hungry?
27:46You know...
27:47I was bummed when the post closed down.
27:49That was my Sunday morning read.
27:50I love that funky rag.
27:52I know.
27:53The end of an era.
27:54So are you gonna find another gay reporting or something?
27:57I don't know.
27:58I mean the only reason why I got that job was because my friend Sophie worked there.
28:01And I needed it.
28:02And...
28:03It's not like I'm very good at it.
28:05You wrote that article a few weeks back about the animal shelter.
28:09Right?
28:10Yeah, that was me.
28:11Well you must have some talent.
28:12I mean it's thanks to you that I am now the proud owner of the same dog you were hugging in that photo.
28:18You rescued Skittles from the animal shelter because of what I wrote?
28:21Yeah.
28:22Only his name's Whiskey now.
28:24Yeah.
28:25I'm gonna miss the post.
28:26Oh.
28:28I mean I get all the news I can handle online.
28:31But...
28:32I wanna hold something.
28:33You know?
28:34Not just my laptop but an actual newspaper.
28:36Yeah.
28:37I love print.
28:38Who says print is dead?
28:39Let's start a revolution.
28:40Even a print.
28:42Nice.
28:43What about you?
28:45This and that cell phone gig are the only paying jobs I've had in a while.
28:49Hmm.
28:52Look at the pair of us.
28:53Dumped, unemployed, and eating sugar and carbs at midnight.
28:56Right.
29:01Who is it?
29:06I don't know.
29:08We should take this upstairs.
29:09Great idea.
29:10Only two more days to go.
29:11Free Lilo.
29:13We just go with it.
29:15I think we could totally get through this.
29:17No.
29:18Let's not press our luck.
29:20Let's get out of here and go sightseeing or something.
29:21Go find it.
29:28Wow.
29:29No.
29:30Oh.
29:31Sorry.
29:32You startled me.
29:33It's...
29:34Beautiful.
29:35Oh well.
29:36It will be.
29:37You do this all yourself?
29:38Every year.
29:39Can I help you at all?
29:40No.
29:41Oh.
29:44I'm sorry.
29:46Uh...
29:47Okay.
29:48There is a wreath over there that I had designed for the mantle.
29:52Yes.
29:53Here?
29:54Pick it up very carefully.
29:55And it belongs right on the mantle in the center.
29:58Okay?
29:59Watch yourself on that ladder.
30:00Oh.
30:01I got it.
30:03Mm-hmm.
30:04Thank you, Jason.
30:05Don't worry about it.
30:06It's a little crooked.
30:07There.
30:08There.
30:09No.
30:10I...
30:11I mean...
30:12Thank you for Thanksgiving and for being such a good sport today and...
30:17Thank you for loving my daughter.
30:21She loves you very much, you know.
30:22I can see it in her face.
30:23Well, uh...
30:24I love her too.
30:25Mrs. Burns.
30:26Mrs. Burns.
30:27Oh, call me Meredith.
30:28Please.
30:29Or...
30:30Or mom.
30:31If you like.
30:32Okay.
30:33Okay.
30:34Listen, uh...
30:35Can I give you a hand with anything else, or...?
30:36After 20-some years, I've got it down to a science.
30:37All right.
30:38I'll, um...
30:39I'll, um...
30:40I'll give you a hand with anything else, or...?
30:41After 20-some years, I've got it down to a science.
30:42All right.
30:43I'll, um...
30:44Head up to bed now.
30:46Goodnight, Jason.
30:47Goodnight.
31:01Goodnight, Jason.
31:03Goodnight.
31:04Goodnight.
31:09Good night.
31:16Good night, Mom.
31:28Hey, Hillary.
31:30Yeah.
31:31You seen this?
31:32Oh, yeah.
31:33My mom does this every year after Thanksgiving.
31:35It's her tradition.
31:36When we were little, we used to think it was elves or something.
31:39It's just the two I was looking for.
31:53I know you're only here for a few more days,
31:55but we have to find the perfect wedding dress
31:58and pick the china and the linens and the cake.
32:03Oh, I think you should go, hon.
32:05I mean, go with it.
32:07Isn't that what brides are supposed to do?
32:09Go dress shopping with their mothers?
32:10Yes, of course.
32:12Yeah.
32:12But you really think it's a good idea to go shopping on Black Friday?
32:16Let's go shopping!
32:18Let's go shopping!
32:19Yay!
32:20Yay!
32:31Mom, look.
32:32Oh, it's beautiful.
32:35Dum-dum-dum-dum.
32:37Here.
32:38Hold my purse.
32:39Thanks.
32:41Here.
32:42Okay.
32:43Thanks.
32:46Are you almost ready?
32:50Oh!
32:51Oh!
32:52Oh!
32:53Hillary, it looks beautiful.
32:56Yeah?
32:56Oh, honey, you look beautiful.
32:58You're pretty.
32:59Thank you very much.
33:02Oh, darling, I love you.
33:04Yeah?
33:04Yeah.
33:06Oh!
33:09So what's going on with you and Jason?
33:12Nothing.
33:12My point exactly.
33:15For two young lovebirds, I don't see much affection.
33:21No kiss, no hug.
33:22Mom, he's just not a touchy-feely guy.
33:24Don't worry about it.
33:25I just want to be able to see your marriage succeed, you know.
33:30Most marriages fall apart first in the bedroom.
33:35You know, your father and I make love three times a week.
33:38Ah!
33:38My ears are bleeding.
33:39Jason's a good catch.
33:42A little odd and nervous, I guess, but I like him.
33:47He's good for you.
33:50Hmm.
33:52Hmm.
33:54Pretty.
33:55Oh!
33:57Pretty.
33:58Oh!
33:59Is she getting married?
34:00Well, yes, of course.
34:01I'm not.
34:02Oh.
34:03My therapist says that I should visualize what I want and it will manifest itself.
34:07Well, that sounds like, um, a very good strategy.
34:12I want that dress.
34:13I'll take it.
34:16That's beautiful.
34:18Nice.
34:19Oh!
34:19Oh, ma'am.
34:20Ma'am, that is my fiancé's dress.
34:22I saw it first and it's mine.
34:24Okay, can I have it, please?
34:25No.
34:25Look, of your way!
34:26Pretty!
34:27Oh, my God.
34:28Oh!
34:29Oh!
34:29Oh!
34:29Oh!
34:29Oh!
34:30Oh!
34:30Oh!
34:30Oh!
34:30Oh!
34:31Oh!
34:31Oh!
34:31Oh!
34:31Oh!
34:32Oh!
34:32Oh!
34:32Oh!
34:33Oh!
34:33Oh!
34:34Oh!
34:34Oh!
34:35Oh!
34:35Oh!
34:36Oh!
34:37Just between you and I, how would you advise a client to proceed if it was discovered
34:42that, let's say, he was getting money for selling, I don't know, boats?
34:47I would probably advise that person to stop talking about it and definitely not tell anyone.
34:51I'm not kidding.
34:52I'm not kidding.
34:52I'm not kidding.
34:52I'm not kidding.
34:52I'm not kidding.
34:53I'm not kidding.
34:53I'm not kidding.
34:54I'm not kidding.
34:54I'm not kidding.
34:54I'm not kidding.
34:54I'm not kidding.
34:55I'm not kidding.
34:55I'm not kidding.
34:56Hey, so what do you like better, cups or mugs?
34:58Oh, I don't know.
34:59I think, I think we could better use out of mugs.
35:01What do you think?
35:01Table setting for eight or twelve?
35:02Hillary, can I talk outside for a minute?
35:05What, what, what?
35:11Okay, you do realize that we're not actually getting married, right?
35:15Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:17But what if Jason actually did get cold feet?
35:21I mean, a lot of people think they want to move to Pittsburgh, and then they change their
35:25mind.
35:26Hey, look sharp, kid.
35:28There is someone here to see you.
35:35Oh, Father Macy, what are you doing here?
35:38Well, sweetie, your wedding is in less than a month.
35:41You really should have met with Father Macy weeks ago, so I invited him over.
35:45Oh, hi.
35:46Oh.
35:47I...
35:48Hello.
35:49I'm Father Macy.
35:50Hi, Father.
35:51Jason.
35:52So, is there somewhere we could go and talk?
35:54Well, it's a beautiful day.
35:56Why don't you take a walk?
35:57Perfect.
35:58So, Jason, you're going to marry Hillary.
36:01That's what they keep telling me.
36:03I would like to make sure that you're both headed on the same path.
36:06That you share the same ideals and beliefs, for if not, the marriage could suffer.
36:11So, Jason, tell me, which church were you raised in?
36:15Well, I didn't actually go to church.
36:19No worries.
36:20Are you Roman Catholic?
36:21No.
36:22Protestant?
36:23Mm-mm.
36:24LDS?
36:25Jewish.
36:26Jewish.
36:27Well, I see.
36:30I'm sure you understand, then, that I would not be able to perform in the ceremony.
36:35No, we talked about this, and Jason has no problem with converting.
36:38Actually, I...
36:40Oh, I have a wonderful idea.
36:42We could have Jason baptized at the same time as Emma.
36:46Oh, I don't...
36:47No, Trish, I don't...
36:48That...
36:49Yeah, that could...
36:50Wow.
36:51Oh, no way.
36:52No way I'm getting baptized.
36:53Come on.
36:54It's just a formality.
36:55It's not that big a deal.
36:56I'm Jewish.
36:57You're not that Jewish.
36:58What are you even talking about?
37:00My grandma Turtletop would roll in her grave if she knew I was doing this.
37:04My mom would be so disappointed if we don't have a wedding at her church.
37:07What wedding, Hillary?
37:09We're not really getting married!
37:10Stay quiet.
37:11Shh.
37:12Oh, my God.
37:15I'm so sorry.
37:17This is so stupid.
37:19You're right.
37:20This is so stupid.
37:21What am I doing?
37:22This is so stupid.
37:23I mean, here I am trying to do everything to make my mother happy.
37:28And for what?
37:29To set her up for my greatest disappointment ever.
37:32That's so foolish to think Jason is actually coming back.
37:35He's not coming back.
37:36I mean, he's in Pittsburgh.
37:37He's happy to be rid of me.
37:39Here.
37:41Just give the voucher numbers to the airline for your tickets.
37:52Take them.
37:53You earn them.
37:54But the...
37:55The weekend's not even over yet.
37:56Please.
37:57I couldn't expect you to stay when the crap hits the fan.
37:58I mean, God knows you've been thrown up already.
37:59Yeah.
38:00Yeah.
38:01Yeah.
38:02So, uh...
38:03This is it.
38:04Engagements off?
38:05Yeah.
38:06Yeah.
38:07Engagements off.
38:08Um...
38:09Is there a train or something I should catch?
38:11No.
38:12No.
38:13No.
38:14No.
38:15No.
38:16No.
38:17No.
38:18No.
38:19No.
38:20No.
38:21No.
38:22No.
38:23No.
38:24No.
38:25No.
38:26No.
38:27No.
38:28No.
38:29No.
38:30No.
38:31No.
38:32No.
38:33No.
38:34No.
38:35No.
38:36No.
38:37No.
38:38No.
38:39No.
38:40No.
38:41No.
38:42No.
38:43No.
38:44No.
38:45No.
38:46No.
38:47No.
38:48No.
38:49No.
38:50No.
38:51No.
38:52No.
38:53No.
38:54No.
38:55No.
38:56No.
38:57No.
38:58It was, uh, fun.
38:59Right?
38:59Yeah.
39:01Good luck with, uh, everything.
39:05I hope you find the spark in Mexico.
39:08Thanks.
39:08Thanks.
39:28Hey, sis.
39:39Call you tomorrow.
39:42Good.
39:43Is that the waiter from the diner?
39:45Yep.
39:46Stu and I dated for a couple months before Mom set me up with the footman.
39:50She thought Stu wasn't good enough, so...
39:53She worked her magic, and the next thing I knew, Stu was out of the picture.
39:58And I was engaged to Pete the Podiatrist.
40:01Is that why you haven't set a date?
40:04Don't get me wrong.
40:06Pete's a good man.
40:07A little weird.
40:09But good guy.
40:12I just don't love him.
40:16Not like I love Stu.
40:18What's really going on with you and Jason?
40:22Jason dumped me a week ago.
40:24So I hired an actor named David to play my fiancé for the weekend.
40:33You what?
40:35Wait.
40:36Wait.
40:37Okay.
40:38So, where did Jason or David go?
40:42Left.
40:45Just...
40:46I don't know.
40:49It's left.
40:50It's...
40:50I don't know.
40:52Oh, wow.
40:54But...
40:55You like him.
40:57David, you like David.
40:58I...
40:58What?
40:59I don't like David.
41:00I don't even know David.
41:01It's crazy.
41:02I like David.
41:04I'm like...
41:04Yes.
41:05There's something I have to tell you.
41:07About Jason.
41:08He dumped me.
41:11I am well aware of what's going on.
41:14You are?
41:14Yes.
41:15I saw him leaving last night.
41:17Oh.
41:17That's just part of it.
41:19That's not...
41:19Hillary Jean.
41:21I have to say this.
41:22Sweetheart.
41:23When are you going to get serious?
41:25You are not a spring chicken anymore.
41:2830 is in the rearview mirror.
41:30And you have nothing to show for it.
41:33No career.
41:34No direction.
41:35And now I guess no Jason.
41:36Guess again.
41:37I don't know.
41:38I thought I was sitting in his car.
41:39I thought I'd invite him in.
41:42Long story tell you later.
41:43You're still on.
41:44You're still on?
41:46Just so everyone knows, for the record,
41:48none of this is Hillary's fault.
41:50Oh, no.
41:51Okay.
41:52So, aren't you two going to kiss and make up?
41:56Go on.
41:57Have a bit.
41:57Come on.
41:59Okay.
41:59Should I call Father Macy?
42:19I don't know.
42:21I don't know.
42:23No.
42:23No, that's fine.
42:24Call him.
42:25Call him.
42:26Call him.
42:28I gotta...
42:29I should go unpack.
42:34Told ya.
42:45Hey, we had a deal, right?
42:47So, is your ex or whatever, is she going to Mexico?
42:53Yep.
42:54Well, that's nice.
42:55You guys should have a good time.
42:57I don't know about me, but I'm sure she and Peggy will have a great time.
43:01What do you mean?
43:04She thought I was giving her the tickets.
43:06Oh, how?
43:08She was just using me.
43:09It's the story of my life.
43:10Always the get-back guy, never just the guy.
43:13You know, don't give her those tickets.
43:19Hi, Liz.
43:20So, do the tickets?
43:23Yeah, about that.
43:24You know, when I told you about these tickets,
43:26I was kind of hoping that you and I would go and have a really nice...
43:29Just wait till Matt finds out that I'm going to Mexico.
43:33Right.
43:33Can we not talk about Matt, maybe?
43:35Oh, my God.
43:36He's going to be so pissed.
43:38Sweetie, hi.
43:39Hi.
43:41Oh, I'm so sorry, Emily.
43:43I had to meet the caterers, and I had another dress fitting.
43:47I'm sorry, and you are...
43:49You are...
43:51Lindsay.
43:53Lindsay?
43:56Lindsay, David, told me all about you and Laya del Carmen.
43:59God, I guess I'm lucky he's not into party girls, huh?
44:02Did you send her an invite to our wedding?
44:05Wedding?
44:06You didn't send her an invite?
44:08It happened so fast, though.
44:10That's right.
44:11It was just boom, like that.
44:13Love at first sight.
44:14Isn't that right, too?
44:15Mm-hmm.
44:17Thanks, David.
44:18Can I just have the tickets, please?
44:20Thanks.
44:21David, that's actually why I'm here.
44:23I have to admit, when he first told me about your thing in Mexico, I was jealous.
44:28I was.
44:29In the heat of the moment, I told him to give the vouchers away, right?
44:32Because it's not like we can have a honeymoon where he met some girl.
44:35But then, I woke up this morning, and I was like, no.
44:39You know what?
44:40The past is the past.
44:41The heck with it.
44:42I mean, he's marrying me, not you.
44:44So I went online, I traded in the vouchers, and surprise!
44:48Honeymoon in Laya del Carmen!
44:49You did it!
44:49I did it!
44:50Oh, come here.
44:54Bye, Lindy.
45:19Angels we have heard on high, sweetly singing on the plains.
45:29Gloria, in excelsis day, o'er, o'er, o'er, o'er, o'er, o'er.
45:59Oh, that was wonderful.
46:02Honey, I haven't heard you sing for so long.
46:05And the two of you together, just beautiful.
46:08Just beautiful.
46:15Jason.
46:19Jason.
46:21What are you doing here?
46:23I wanted to see you.
46:25Who is it, honey?
46:26Honey?
46:26Oh.
46:30Mom.
46:31Dad.
46:34Everybody.
46:36This is Jason.
46:38Happy holidays, everybody.
46:46Mom.
46:47Mom.
46:47I'm sorry.
46:48I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't want to disappoint you.
46:50So you bring a total stranger into my house.
46:52I would never, ever have believed that you would be capable of doing something so despicable.
46:58What were you thinking?
47:00Peter and I are breaking up.
47:05Sorry, dude.
47:06Was there any chance you might still be a lawyer?
47:20No.
47:21Hillary.
47:23Can we talk?
47:26I'm so sorry about David.
47:28I don't know.
47:28I think I might have lost my mind.
47:30I'm so confused.
47:31I don't know anything anymore.
47:32I don't understand.
47:33You do?
47:35Because I don't...
47:36People do crazy things when their hearts have been broken.
47:40Besides,
47:41arboring grudges is no way for us to start a future together.
47:44A future?
47:46You said I was a mistake.
47:48And I don't know if I want to move to Pittsburgh.
47:51There is no Pittsburgh.
47:54Sharpell gave the promotion to his idiot nephew.
47:57But?
47:59None of that matters anymore.
48:00Because...
48:01Because now we can be together.
48:14David?
48:16What are you doing?
48:17Well, actually, I was just going to go talk to Hillary.
48:19I think that's a bad idea.
48:20In fact, I'm very surprised to see that you're still here.
48:24Weren't you the one that was paid to fill Jason's shoes?
48:27And now that Jason is here,
48:29I really don't think there's any reason for you to stay.
48:33But I...
48:33Don't...
48:34Don't hurt Hillary's chances.
48:36Okay.
48:38No, no, no.
48:38You...
48:39You know what?
48:40You may think that Jason is the perfect son-in-law,
48:43but he's not.
48:44He walked out on Hillary.
48:47She's the one who's perfect.
48:48She's kind.
48:49And she's beautiful.
48:50And she's a gifted writer.
48:51Have you ever even read one of her articles?
48:55She can talk to this whole thing
48:56just because she's terrified of disappointing you.
49:01All she wants is to keep you happy.
49:08And Meredith,
49:09I'm sorry that I deceived you.
49:12I truly am very sorry.
49:15And it's fine if you think that Jason will make her happy.
49:18But have you ever asked Hillary what will make her happy?
49:21Have you?
49:24Kiss me.
49:42What?
49:43Kiss me.
49:44I really have to get this done.
49:45Kiss me like...
49:46Like the future Mrs. King.
49:47Kiss me like you love me.
49:48Hillary, I really don't think your parents asked the place for this.
49:50You two love me, right?
49:56Go for King.
49:58Bill, it's gonna be fine.
50:00Gary will get him to me.
50:01I have a question.
50:08Dennis, um, Jason.
50:11The real Jason, not the fake Jason.
50:14Does he have any other talents besides being a good lawyer?
50:18What do you mean?
50:20Can you rig a turkey?
50:21Maybe play a tune?
50:23Jason?
50:25I don't think so.
50:28What do you make?
50:28You sing like you did earlier tonight?
50:31You know, I know it doesn't seem like it, but your mother really just wants you to be happy.
50:41Maybe it's time you told her what you want, if you know what you want.
50:47Mom?
50:49Oh, Hillary.
50:52I'm so sorry, honey.
50:55You sent all these beautiful articles, and I'm sorry I didn't read them.
51:00You've always been a gifted writer, and all of those wonderful things that David yelled at me.
51:08Do you love Jason?
51:12Not, not, I mean, you know, the real Jason.
51:15I know what you mean.
51:19No.
51:20I think I hate him.
51:27Me too.
51:31Do you love David?
51:32Do you love David?
51:37I hate him.
51:37I've got to buy you a car.
52:00Thanks.
52:01I have four copies right...
52:03What?
52:06You say my car?
52:08Hillary, what?
52:09Are you...
52:10Where are you going?
52:11Where are you going?
52:11I'll call you a cab.
52:38Hi.
52:39How did you...
52:41I borrowed Jason's car.
52:45You and Jason?
52:46Nope.
52:48Jason is a total jerk, you're right.
52:50And a big mistake.
52:52Huge mistake.
52:55Huge mistake.
52:57Okay.
52:59You're here now.
53:02You're here.
53:03What does that make mean?
53:09Not a mistake.
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