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00:00Remember this? Remember the pressure?
00:05Zip it, Gabby Davis, you're talking over Sonya!
00:08Play and record. Together. Don't get the DJ in.
00:14Got it. That was close.
00:19Christine, I had to show you before the party. New raspberry range.
00:24They have never done colours like this before. Stunning.
00:28Do you mind door-to-door? Someone's desperate for commission.
00:31I'm not doing this for commission, Christine. I'm doing it for you.
00:33I've seen the inside of your fridge. Chicken drumsticks sat on the shelf
00:36without so much as a bit of cling round it.
00:38Why are you sniffling round my fridge like a truffle pig?
00:40Anyway, I've got plenty of Tupperware. Oh, pink?
00:43Raspberry range. About a 12-inch?
00:46Compartments. For dips.
00:49We need this.
00:51I was thinking of inviting Jez Saturday night.
00:53Bit of a welcome to the close.
00:55What's a bloke want with a Tupperware party, Christine?
00:57I just thought he seems quite... organised.
01:00Well, he might be, but this is a night for the girlies.
01:02I'm going.
01:03Just thought it might be nice to invite him.
01:05Christine, us ladies don't have much in this world, yeah?
01:08But these... these airtight stackable containers
01:11in an assortment of colour, shapes and sizes.
01:13These are ours, yeah.
01:15We're storing more than nibbles in there.
01:17We're storing love.
01:19Hopes and dreams. Planes and...
01:22Oh, God, it was just a thought.
01:24And anyway, he seems quite flush. He might have had a big order.
01:26Well, I'll pop round and show him now.
01:28But he's not coming Saturday. Ladies' night.
01:30And me?
01:31As I said.
01:32Oi! Dad's on the telly!
01:34Has a run of bad results affected the team's morale?
01:37Well, er...
01:38No-one wants to lose that many games in a season.
01:4122.
01:43But...
01:44Let's not forget we did well last season.
01:47We've got form.
01:48We've just got to find it again.
01:50How are the boys feeling?
01:51My boys know they have my unconditional support.
01:54We're just going to keep working.
01:55I think you've worked hard enough today.
01:57I'll let you get home.
01:58No need. There's nowhere I'd rather be.
02:00Oh, charming.
02:02Trolled by my dad and on regional TV.
02:05Right, love.
02:10Did you watch it?
02:12Look East.
02:13Yeah, I did.
02:14Oh, did I come across?
02:15Yeah, good.
02:16Really good.
02:18It's just...
02:20Sometimes, the way you talk about the players,
02:22you're boys, there's nowhere you'd rather be.
02:25Well, I think it upsets Alan a bit.
02:27What do you mean?
02:28Well, you've got two boys at home.
02:30Oh, give over. It's totally different.
02:32I just think you can make more of an effort.
02:34Especially with Alan.
02:35I'm always making an effort.
02:37I watched that detective woman cycling around with a typewriter.
02:42Murder, she wrote.
02:43I don't know what she was writing.
02:44But I watched a double bill last week for his birthday.
02:47His birthday's in June.
02:48Is it?
02:50Oh, that little...
02:51Graham!
02:52Christine, it's a two-way street.
02:54He doesn't bother with me, I don't bother with him.
02:56We're both happy with that.
02:57Florence Nightingale was not just a nurse.
03:06My own dad didn't want to spend time with me
03:08and Ange had called me a woman.
03:10But with double history, I could lose myself in ruffs and muffs.
03:14Helen, could you read Miss Nightingale's quote for us?
03:19The lady with the lamp.
03:21There she is.
03:25Isn't she just?
03:26Ugh, being camp's like having B.O.
03:29The more you flap your arms around, the worse it gets.
03:32I needed to mask it.
03:34And quick.
03:35Oh, how about I try a spritz of odour sport?
03:50Christine.
03:52Don't look now.
03:53But he's just picked up chute.
03:57He's reading chute.
03:59What is this, spring watch?
04:01I didn't tell him to, he just went for it all by himself.
04:04Should I go in and talk to him?
04:09Maybe just let him get his bearings first, yeah?
04:15No, no, no.
04:19Oh, Jeremy.
04:20Christine.
04:21Is there a chance that Alan's available tomorrow?
04:23Pip went over on her ankle,
04:24and we need someone for our country dancing event.
04:26I know it's last minute,
04:27but no one do-si-dos quite like Alan.
04:29Look, I don't think you'll have to ask him twice.
04:31Oh, that is music to my ears.
04:33Alan, Mr Butterworth's here.
04:35What's a word?
04:37There he is.
04:39My hero.
04:40You wouldn't step in last minute,
04:41give us a couple of square sets tomorrow.
04:43Is this the devil himself tempting me?
04:45I love country dancing!
04:46No.
04:48He's playing hard to get.
04:49Alan, go and get your Anki.
04:50I'm busy tomorrow.
04:51Since when?
04:52I'm going to watch The Cobblers with my dad.
04:54What?
04:55Are you?
04:56Oh, I...
04:57You'll have to try someone else.
04:58What about Felix?
04:59He loves country dancing,
05:00and he makes his own costumes.
05:02I tried, but he changed his name after the smear campaign.
05:05He's in a safe house in Rushton.
05:08Oh.
05:09Pop those plimsolls on for us.
05:11Look, Mr Butterworth.
05:12He said no.
05:13And he's going to watch the football with his old man like every other boy his age.
05:16And he can find some other clown.
05:17This time tomorrow I will be chanting on the terraces for my team against...
05:22in the clown again.
05:24Preston.
05:25Away.
05:26Preston away.
05:27Away?
05:28Yeah.
05:29Yeah.
05:30We're going to have to stay over.
05:31M6 on a Saturday.
05:32Forget it.
05:34But we're going to miss my tap away party.
05:37Right.
05:38Is everybody here?
05:39Yes.
05:40Great.
05:41That's it.
05:42It's not my back.
05:43Let's go.
05:44Oi, oi.
05:45Don't forget about little old me.
05:47What are you doing here?
05:48I'm getting on the party bus, son.
05:50It's not a party bus, it's a team bus.
05:52Christ's sake, Nick, this game's important.
05:54I got a free pass.
05:56The wife's in hospital for a week and I want to sample everything that...
06:00Where are we going?
06:01Preston.
06:03Away.
06:04And I want to sample everything that Preston away has to offer.
06:08Is that booze in that carrier?
06:10No.
06:11The lads need to focus.
06:13I promise you, Grey, you will not hear a peep out of me.
06:16Really?
06:17Right.
06:18Let's go.
06:19I've got three copies of Razzle and 200 Lambert and Butler, duty free.
06:24Who's with me?
06:25Read your book.
06:30This was it.
06:43Quality time.
06:45Just me, my dad and all his other boys.
06:48His goalie, his strikers and those ones that hang around in the middle.
06:51middle seeing my dad get abused reminded me of school but he didn't have a kindly
07:05dinner lady to come to his aid
07:06I'll check the school
07:34ah see facts come on Northampton come on instant information well if you were prepared to
07:43wait 15 minutes for the page to turn Gary you got me ashtray and you better not be in those
07:50crisps there for tonight well come on hurry up quick it's the next one
07:56let's just go home we're not coming back from free now you might as well let bygones be bygones
08:15how do you grab your spans what are you talking about sit down right so this for a game of monkeys
08:23I'll see you in the bar Alfie their left box on the yellow card get in his face wind him up
08:31oh I got another one god 4-0 he is not gonna be happy oh feels wrong having a party after that
08:50didn't it should we cancel it do you think we should oh we got all the stuff now no you know
09:00what your dad would want us to have a good time he would it's a you go and enjoy yourselves don't
09:05you worry about me but if he asked we cancelled it oh that was awful we've had it all doing man now I've
09:23got to spend a night in this dump what is that portable potpourri it's an essential you never know
09:35when you might need to mask the smell of feet I need a beer I will get my wallet then oh no no no
09:43no you're all right I'll I'll get one with the lads well I'm one of your lads tonight aren't I we're
09:50meant to be spending quality time together yeah we are we are right so I've prepared 20 questions
10:00I thought we could fill it out together compare and contrast so question one oh this is really long
10:07but uh no no you're right it'll be good to work to catch up you know I'll find out who your favorite
10:14female historical figure is uh I'll uh I'll fill it in at the bar and uh I'll see you down there
10:21the perfect size for those on-the-go snacks Gary you're blocking my products thank you
10:47handful of warm nuts in there a few cubes of cheese you could fit two quarters of a sandwich
10:51top to toe no you couldn't yes you could ladies you open a packet of hobnobs but you only want
10:57one who has one you can have a pack of stale hobnobs on your hands or are you simply decant those
11:04hobbity knobs into a medium-sized tuck place the lid on like so and they'll be keeping their crunch till
11:10Christmas she's never getting a sandwich in there a boogie sandwiches Marion I'm talking about a bit of
11:14ham and lettuce not a bloody rump steak as you need to be on my puff for this smack finish on
11:18the lids ladies have a feel of that Christine and you Marion oh that is smooth smooth and it's
11:26smooth that right question no you can't store wine in them I've already got the ones with the red and
11:33the white lids what's the best deal you could do me for the blue now we're off ladies I know it
11:39sounds silly but red white and blue just makes me feel all patriotic do you know what Christine
11:42I do you two for one on the blue and I'll throw in a lemon squeezer oh I've got myself a deal deal
11:49that is our first sale of the night ladies oh and you know what put me down for a round one
11:56because that'd come around if I need to store something round wouldn't it can you get your
12:00fingers out of that please Marion you're making it all greasy do you know where that top would look
12:03good your bedroom floor I've heard it no on a silky padded hanger that's where I made my first meal
12:10silky padded hangers
12:13here's my card
12:16you're a millionaire what are you doing in this dump I'm looking for a wife
12:21I can see you're very excited to be the next Mrs. Chalmers
12:28so I want you to hold on to that thought while I go and siphon the python
12:33another round for the lads please love and one for yourself and some crisps not that they deserve
12:44it poor bloody Nell oh don't be too hard on him but it's not just pints you're pulling in here
12:52they keep putting the crisps too low I have to bend down to get them
12:58I have told them to move them but I think they should keep them where they are
13:04I'm phoning them what no no it's just it's just a bit of banter it's just why no it's she started
13:13it no I'm going to phone mum see how the party's going oh great that's great down to know if she's
13:20found anything for our milk love tobacco to keep moist
13:23you alright Christine yeah just just missing my Alan a bit where is he brownie no he's impressed him
13:37with his dad at the football staying overnight they're not back till tomorrow well Christine
13:42why didn't you say three words ladies here her
13:47the mask will slip into something more comfortable check out the quality that
13:57pussycat bird I had does it wash does it it's a hundred percent polyester that new one
14:03devil day very delicate cup Gary tell me everything who made the guest list you ain't missing a thing
14:23really boring proper damp squid sounds it oh I wish I was there with you oh I know darling I know
14:33listen I saw the result on see facts how is he is not himself no I bet he needs a cuddle so
14:41that's what he needs you know what we're finishing up now so I'm gonna give you a ring before I go to
14:45bed top up washer room number number he's barely got a door never mind a number all right then
14:52darling all right see you later bye mum I could hear in her voice she'd bought that raspberry tupperware
14:59range will that woman ever learn what's this boys firing your holes boom because it was a grenade
15:11wouldn't it did you see it I clocked it and out because instead of saying fire in the hole I said
15:17fire in your holes like in the bum boom let's get the party started hey I've had a drink let's just go to bed
15:25I'll pipe down Adam you're spoiling the moon I'll take him up to bed oh only if you tuck me in after
15:33oh god this is getting very unsavoury if I play my cards right Adam if I play my cards right
15:41I look nice on you Chris we just tried on some bits
16:08go on Nigel take them with you bloody hell Chris actually Nigel can I have them back no I told you
16:19Nigel no boys allowed well it sounds like you need a man in there keep your girls in check well if you
16:25know of any big strong boys oh god maybe it's time to let the fox into the chicken coop
16:31what no no no Nigel we've got to go we've got bin bag Diane she's stuck in a corset and we've got to cut her out
16:41okay well I was just checking in thank you yeah okay I'm off
16:46I can see your eyes through the letterbox night
16:51right I'd like I'd like to buy a drink for the best footballers in the league when they get here
17:02that's that's it
17:04Alan is there an Alan? Alan Carr? Adam Carr
17:07yeah I'm Alan
17:08I'm Alan
17:09I'm Alan
17:14I'm Alan
17:14Ma'am?
17:16Oh he's got to help me
17:18it's not a witcher's
17:19Gary
17:21But daddy
17:23What's all that noise? What's going on there?
17:26I'm drinking tinsine out of a vase
17:28Hey! How are you doing that?
17:30Are you topping me?
17:32Help!
17:34Gary!
17:50We should have won, Alan.
17:52Look, you tried your best, and that crowd was harsh.
17:58It's not fair.
18:00Just a little bit chunky.
18:02Oh, fair's fair. You know, the fans pay their money.
18:05They see their team giving us a good kicking,
18:07they're going to want to celebrate.
18:09You can't take it personally.
18:11I mean, you can't, but you do.
18:13It's funny.
18:15I've always wanted you to be a footballer.
18:18But I'd hate for you to be called some of the names I get called.
18:24I mean, I can handle it. You know, I've got a thick skin,
18:26but you, you can, or...
18:29I get called names all the time in school.
18:41Oh.
18:42What is he doing?
18:47He's, er...
18:49He's showing her his padded hand.
18:57Oh.
18:58Dad?
18:59Yeah?
19:00What did that man say?
19:01What man?
19:02You know, at the football match when we got promoted?
19:05I know it's over a year ago, but I've always wanted to ask.
19:08What did he say?
19:11Well...
19:12You know, there's a...
19:14There's a lot of people at a football game.
19:16Alan...
19:17Can't remember them all.
19:19No, but you punched him.
19:22I saw you, we scored, and then you punched him.
19:25What did he say that was so bad?
19:27Was it...
19:30Was it something about me?
19:32I don't remember, son.
19:34Get some sleep.
19:43Yeah, I do remember him.
19:46That man.
19:47You know, I shouldn't have punched him.
19:50I know that, but...
19:53What he said, erm...
19:58Couldn't have it.
20:00Alan, I couldn't have him talking about you like that.
20:04Saying you were a...
20:10I can't even say it.
20:12At least my son's not gay!
20:13Sticks in my throat.
20:17Are you turning your romance off, do you?
20:24I wanted to apologise.
20:26Which is...
20:27gnawing feet.
20:29What did you say?
20:30Feet?
20:31Yeah, it does smell like feet.
20:32It's like sleeping in a moccasin.
20:40Goodnight, son.
20:43Night, Dad!
20:45Sweet dreams, killer.
20:47Nothing united the UK more than a telephone.
20:54Everyone mucking in, trying to raise money for the less fortunate
20:58by humiliating yourself in front of your neighbours.
21:01Even celebrities came down from their ivory towers
21:04to show us they were just like us.
21:06Telephones were brilliant, but completely bonkers.
21:09Oh, love.
21:10Drop this in to Mary.
21:11She's knitting a blanket for Africa.
21:14That has to be massive.
21:16Mum!
21:17Yes, I'm here.
21:18What took you so long?
21:20Right, here.
21:22Hello!
21:24That's not going to touch the sides.
21:26Alan, I bought every tin they had.
21:27I didn't know you'd need this many.
21:28I need photographic evidence.
21:30No-one is going to care.
21:31You're in a bath of beans.
21:32I'm supposed to be up to me neck.
21:35Poor kids could be eating these.
21:36You'd be better off donating them.
21:37Well, I can't now, can I?
21:39This is disgusting, Alan.
21:41Both of you, down the window at the same time.
21:44Sign that.
21:45What?
21:47Sign that.
21:48It's for charity.
21:49For the telethon.
21:50Geoff Capes is doing a raffle for Anglia TV.
21:53It's going to get spicy.
21:54Here, get Banjo to sign it and all.
21:57Quick, quick.
21:58You ever held a pen before?
21:59That's it.
22:00Good boy.
22:01No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
22:03No.
22:04No-one wants you on the ball.
22:06They'll want the manager, sure.
22:07No-one cares about the manager, Gray.
22:10Why are you signing it?
22:11I'm just ejecting a bit of personality, aren't I?
22:14Give that to Wingnut when he's off the bogs.
22:16Cheers, Gray.
22:23I'd want you on my ball gaff.
22:26Ah, thanks, Alfie.
22:30Oh, Ang, you ain't got a few tins of beans
22:32if you were in a right state.
22:34I didn't know things were that bad.
22:36If your cupboards are bare,
22:37you can always send the boys to me for a feed.
22:40We'll say nothing of it.
22:41Me casserole is two casserole.
22:42Oh, for God's sake.
22:43We're just doing a bath of beans for charity.
22:45Well, we're trying.
22:46We're about 20 tins short.
22:47That's why we're here.
22:48Charlie's doing a camp out Saturday.
22:49Yeah.
22:50Nigel's digging a fire pit as we speak.
22:52Careful you don't fall in.
22:53Just whatever you can afford.
22:54Charlie's raised 78 pounds so far.
22:56Yeah, 30 quidder.
22:57That's from you.
22:58He's having a camp out.
22:59Load of mates coming round for the telethon.
23:01Oh, which mates?
23:02Michael Godgin.
23:03Bradley.
23:04Who else?
23:05Jake.
23:06Jake.
23:07Jake!
23:08Maybe Alan could camp out instead of the beans.
23:11Oh, well, that's very...
23:12You'd like that.
23:13Wouldn't you with the boys?
23:14Oh, no.
23:15Oh, no.
23:16Not with Charlie.
23:17He's done enough for charity already.
23:19No, no.
23:20I meant maybe Graeme could put a tent up in your garden.
23:22If he's got time.
23:23Of course he has.
23:24Yeah, we might do that.
23:26No, no, no.
23:27No, we will not.
23:28I'm watching the telephone.
23:29Oh, and Kay's staying over.
23:31Christine.
23:32I'd never let Charlie have a girl stay over.
23:34That flies round muck.
23:35Well, Alan and Kay are very sensible.
23:37Well, I suppose it's easier to trust them when they look like that.
23:40Alan respects girls, Ange.
23:41They learn from their fathers, don't they?
23:43Right.
23:44Come on, Alan.
23:45Let's dig that tent out.
23:46It'll be an adventure.
23:47So, the sleepover.
23:48Sure you don't want me to bring anything?
23:50No.
23:51Just yourself.
23:52I'll put out some light bites.
23:54And are you sure you're all right sleeping outside?
23:56It's a tent, Alan, not a kennel.
24:01So, I will have to ask me mum, but I'm sure you can.
24:22I'd love tea.
24:23Not.
24:24Rather sleep in a bin.
24:26Thank God.
24:28You did give me a no.
24:30No.
24:31She gave me a no.
24:32Why would I want to hang out with them two?
24:34You literally asked them if you could go, you idiot.
24:36Yeah.
24:37I'm the knob.
24:38They've got eight eyes between them.
24:39Well, they can see you're an idiot then.
24:41Err.
24:42Settle down, please.
24:46Ignore her.
24:47I always do.
24:48I think it sounds like a laugh, Alan.
24:50I love a light bite.
24:52I'd go.
24:53Err.
24:54Settle down.
24:55All the girls in the class sipped on a love potion.
24:58I was irresistible.
25:01Right.
25:02Err.
25:03No.
25:04You forget, don't you, when you haven't done it for a bit.
25:07Well, I'll come back.
25:08You'll see.
25:09Ah.
25:10Dib-dib-dab and all that.
25:11Let me read that.
25:12Ah.
25:13Don't, er...
25:15Don't need that.
25:16My dad could build an eleven-man, goal-scoring, league-winning team from scratch.
25:21A two-man ten.
25:23Forget it.
25:31Tom's come to help, and he's bought his flash ten.
25:33All right.
25:34Yeah.
25:35Heard you're over the edge, flapping about.
25:36God, you must think we're incapable.
25:37We?
25:38No, I can, er...
25:40I can do it.
25:41I've just been distracted thinking about the game.
25:43Yeah, yeah.
25:44Look, you do what you need to do.
25:45It's fine.
25:46Right.
25:47Let's get this up.
25:48Oh, all right.
25:49Right.
25:50Thank you for coming over.
25:53Right.
25:54I mean...
25:55I can do it.
25:57Err...
26:00Yeah.
26:01Bye.
26:03See ya!
26:04It's a proper turn.
26:05Yeah, it is.
26:06Very nice.
26:07It's a palace.
26:08I said to him, make him suffer a bit.
26:10Oh, they will.
26:11It gets freezing in the early hours.
26:12I mean, we really have to snuggle up.
26:17Do you, erm...
26:18Do you camp out a lot then?
26:20Yeah.
26:21Yeah, we do.
26:26It's not always easy...
26:28booking things, holidays, when you're...
26:32when you're a bus.
26:33No.
26:34No.
26:35Look, I didn't like to assume.
26:38Christine, I was blaring Nana Muscuri White Rose of Athens at full blast this morning.
26:42The signs were all there.
26:45I think I could get used to this.
26:55Wish we had a telly in here.
26:56Imagine a little telly that you could carry around with you.
27:00Not everyone's obsessed with telly, Alan.
27:02Oh, but they would be if they had one of those.
27:04Nothing else would get done.
27:07I wonder how the boys over the road are doing.
27:12Lucky they got Jake.
27:14He's very outdoorsy, isn't he?
27:15He doesn't even wear a coat during winter, just his burgundy fleece.
27:19I think he and his brother's Adventure Scout's growing up.
27:24He could probably rub two stones together to make a fire.
27:27He is very dexterous.
27:29Isn't he?
27:30So dexterous it makes you sick.
27:33Bet you wish it was him in here right now, don't you?
27:36Not really.
27:38Do you?
27:39Alan!
27:40Your friend's here.
27:41Georgie!
27:43Did you invite Georgie?
27:44No.
27:46I'd like to stroke your back.
27:47You're back.
27:48I'll have a light bite.
27:51Oh, my God, she fancies me.
27:56Oh, hello.
27:57Just wanted to see how you were after the other day.
27:59Oh, what happened the other day?
28:00Nothing. I just felt a bit sick.
28:02Oh.
28:04How lovely of you to check in.
28:07Yeah.
28:08Thanks.
28:10What was Georgie doing here?
28:12I could only fit so many girls in me tent.
28:14Was there anything else?
28:18Would you like a drink?
28:19No, liquids for me.
28:21I don't want to end up weeing in the bird bath.
28:22Yes.
28:23Well, the girls might like one.
28:24Something fizzy.
28:25Oh, yeah.
28:26That would be great.
28:27Thanks.
28:28You pop in, love.
28:29Right, out we get.
28:30Come on.
28:31She's made an effort.
28:32She's very little.
28:33Come on.
28:34Your host for an act, working seven hours by Hall Hasmore.
28:37Thank you very much.
28:38It's not a bad start.
28:39Welcome to Telecom.
28:40It's been seven hours of life.
28:41Hair up, hair down, scrunchy off.
28:42Make your mind up, love.
28:43Then it hit me.
28:44She was flirting.
28:45God, is that Lionel Blair with a moustache?
28:46Watching the whole thing?
28:47Yes.
28:48Lisa Goddard's about to upsell down the BT Tower.
29:13It's 27 hours of pure magic, Georgie.
29:17Charlie Hudson lives near you, doesn't he?
29:20Yeah, just across the road.
29:21Boys are all camping at his tonight, Jake and them.
29:24Oh, I know. We're all at it.
29:27Maz was going to go too, but Charlie's mum said,
29:30can't trust a girl near a sleeping bag.
29:36We should bring in Margaret a celeb.
29:39Oh, five, three, two, forty, three, eleven, forty, three.
29:50OK, let's go.
29:52Now we go to Southampton, TVS, Fern Britton and Fred Dynage.
29:56It's ringing.
29:58Alan's great, isn't he?
30:00Yeah, he's great.
30:01He is great, yeah.
30:03They're ringing.
30:04Charlie said they were going to do a Ouija board.
30:06You shouldn't do them outdoors.
30:08The weather throws the results off.
30:09I think they were just mucking about.
30:11You don't muck about with the astral plane.
30:13I'm through!
30:14Have you ever done one?
30:16Why are you here?
30:18To see Alan.
30:18You never normally bother with Alan.
30:20Me and my sister did one.
30:21We got this woman.
30:23She'd been murdered by her neighbour.
30:24Hit her over the head with a frying pan.
30:27She spelt out F-R-Y.
30:31I can spell frying pan, thanks.
30:35She said he's still out there somewhere.
30:36He'll kill again.
30:39Evening, old!
30:41Ah!
30:47Welcome back.
30:49Fancy a little nightcap?
30:51Um, yeah.
30:53Yeah, um, just a minute.
30:56Sorry, love.
30:57Nick's here to see you, Dad.
30:58You're going to have to go upstairs.
30:59Oh, really?
31:00Alan's been having a pyjama sleepover thing.
31:06We're giving him a bit of space.
31:07Fair play, mate.
31:09You crack on Don Julio.
31:13Naughty dog, innit?
31:15Shall we?
31:15Beautiful home.
31:21Lovely to finally meet you, Chrissie.
31:23It's Christine.
31:24Here, do us a favour.
31:26Crack this open for us, will you?
31:27Oh!
31:29Oh!
31:29Hey!
31:30Only joking.
31:33Safe friends and your keeper.
31:34Yeah, Vince.
31:36You should probably learn his name.
31:37Ah, sod that.
31:38Ain't learning all them names.
31:40They won't last.
31:40Speaking of which, you might want to have a sit-down.
31:46I am sitting.
31:47You might want to have a lie-down, then.
31:50Right, I'll get the glasses.
31:53Redhead.
31:54Very nice.
31:56Always been partial to a redhead.
31:58I've settled on a blonde for now,
31:59but I truly believe men should experience every colour of the rainbow.
32:04Bugger me!
32:06When'd Lionel Blair get a tash?
32:10If you thought it was tense downstairs.
32:15Have you seen Goldsbo?
32:18No.
32:22I know what we could do.
32:25You did what?
32:27I sold him.
32:28He's gone.
32:29Out the door.
32:30He wanted to say bye to you,
32:32but I know how emotional you get about these things, Grey,
32:34and I couldn't put the poor bugger through it.
32:36He's just a kid.
32:37He's 28.
32:38Yeah, whatever.
32:39The point at 28.
32:41Bloody hell.
32:42He's getting on a bit.
32:43I did you a favour there.
32:45Take him out back and shoot him.
32:46Never mind sell him.
32:47I signed him on his 18th birthday.
32:49It's took 10 years,
32:50but he's there now.
32:52He's solid.
32:52Apparently so.
32:54Silly bastard paid 15k for him.
32:57See, but this is what I'm talking about, Grey.
32:59I signed him on his 18th birthday.
33:01You're too attached.
33:02I'm not attached,
33:03but you consult me before selling my strongest offender.
33:06Yeah, we discuss these things.
33:08Discuss it?
33:08What for?
33:09You'd say tomato.
33:11I'd say tomato.
33:12But I don't want to call the whole thing off, Grey,
33:14because we're barely getting started, son.
33:16We need him.
33:17We need cash.
33:19We need lots of cash, Graham.
33:21And fast.
33:22Here we go.
33:25Up the cobblers.
33:32Georgie, there's a toilet up there.
33:35Something told me Georgie wasn't after a midnight snack.
33:41Our team goes that way.
33:42Your team goes that way.
33:43Norby, give it that way.
33:45You can stop picking it that way.
33:46Sometimes they're in free breaks.
33:50They're in hard times.
33:52Cha-boo.
33:53The ref away place.
33:55A bit of fresh air.
34:00Yeah, I mean, we could just sit in the garden for a little bit.
34:03Who lives there?
34:04Well, Tom and Jess sometimes, I think.
34:07Two blokes?
34:08What, are they brothers?
34:09No, they're not brothers.
34:10They're...
34:11friends.
34:14Sounds well gay.
34:16Dare you?
34:22This is tedious.
34:23We just sat watching a woman put a harness on for ten minutes.
34:27That woman is one of the great comic minds of our time.
34:29Have you seen Give Us A Clue?
34:30Egg it.
34:31Go on.
34:31Egg the door.
34:32You egg it.
34:33That's not how it works.
34:34I don't do.
34:35How about no one eggs the door?
34:37Watch this.
34:37See?
34:38Easy.
34:39What's the problem?
34:39You mates with these benders or something.
34:43Good shot.
34:44God, there's so much egg in the neck.
34:45Which one's Charlie's house?
34:56The one on the corner.
34:58Be back in a minute.
35:06She's not coming back, is she?
35:07No.
35:08Let's go back in.
35:09We don't want to miss Des O'Connor.
35:10Uh-huh.
35:11How capin' that, Hannah?
35:13Say hello to Jake.
35:24Georgie.
35:27Georgie.
35:28Are you in there?
35:29Get in.
35:31Oh.
35:33Hi.
35:34Hi.
35:34Hello.
35:36Jake.
35:37Good timing.
35:38Drink?
35:40Yeah, go on then.
35:42I'd watched enough Jilly Gordon on food and drink
35:45to know which face to pull neck in spirits.
35:48Limit your reaction to just one eyelid.
35:50A manly sigh at the end.
35:52Do not cough.
35:55Oh.
35:56Oh, that's on your chest, that.
35:58We're playing Never Have I Ever.
36:00Oh, God.
36:01Let's do something else, eh?
36:02Oh.
36:03Georgie's turn.
36:03Go on.
36:05Hmm.
36:06Never Have I Ever.
36:08Done fourth base.
36:10I knew what first base was, but beyond that, I had no idea.
36:15First base, fourth base.
36:16How many bases does a woman have?
36:18I'm sure Alan can help you, Georgie.
36:20Don't worry, Al.
36:21It's just a game, isn't it?
36:23Yeah, well, you'll know who you've got your eye on.
36:25Oh, shut it, Bradley.
36:26Leave Alan alone.
36:27I'm bored of this now.
36:28Come on.
36:31How's your tent?
36:33It was something quite liberating.
36:35I'd love to live in a tent, me.
36:37Waking up to that zip coming down every morning, it would make me smile.
36:40That sounds good to me.
36:42Never change, Alan.
36:43Hello, happy camper.
36:45I'm going to hide a few pepperamis around the garden.
36:48A couple of Twixies.
36:49You can sniff them out like little badgers.
36:51We've got stuff in here.
36:52Yeah, but you want the full wilderness experience, don't you?
36:56Can you just get lost, Mum?
36:57Oh, someone's getting the grumpy ones.
37:00All right, my angel.
37:01Oh, little clue for you.
37:04Flowerpot.
37:06That's all I'm saying.
37:07Thanks, Ange.
37:08Hey.
37:20Hey, Pete.
37:21Come on, Chris.
37:28Sorry, Nigel.
37:30Are you Christine's mate?
37:31I'm in Charlie's class.
37:33Oh, the little elderly girl.
37:36Right, out you get.
37:38Oh, excuse me.
37:39We've got a couple of stowaways.
37:40Alan, you've left poor Kay on her own.
37:43Out.
37:43Alan, he's not in there.
37:44I mean, he might not be.
37:49Christine, you were having some sort of episode.
37:50Georgie came round house to see Alan,
37:52but obviously got other ideas
37:53when she heard there was a tent full of boys across the road.
37:55Excuse me.
37:57Nigel, do something.
37:58Christine, come on, sweetheart.
38:00Don't.
38:01Oh, hi, Mum.
38:02What's that?
38:03Give me that.
38:04Right, all of you, out.
38:05Now.
38:06Come on.
38:08Right, you mind the twigs?
38:11Out.
38:15Oh, come on.
38:16Georgie, I can see your top not poking through the sleeping bag.
38:20They've been drinking.
38:22It weren't me.
38:24Yeah, you only gave us a fag.
38:25Oh, Radley, stop talking.
38:26It was me.
38:27I brought it.
38:28Sorry.
38:29I can't believe this.
38:30You have no idea what's going on in your back garden.
38:32You've got kids in a...
38:34Did Alan put you up to this, my darling?
38:39Of course he didn't.
38:40Because I know he was gagging to get in that tent.
38:42Right, Alan, we're off.
38:44And you, Georgie.
38:45Get your stuff from ours.
38:47I thought you said you could trust him.
38:49You don't even know what's going on in your own back garden.
38:53State of it.
38:54What?
38:57Christine, don't you walk away from me.
39:01Christine, I know you can hear me.
39:02You've got a bloody cheek.
39:03At least I'm not losing other people's children.
39:05That's the first friend he's had round is she's a rat out the cage.
39:08Oh, yeah.
39:08You love to show off about your Charlie's mates
39:10because you haven't got any of your own.
39:12I'll remember that next time you come begging for food.
39:14Whoa.
39:15Begging.
39:15Calm down a bit.
39:16No, no, no, no.
39:17You crack on, girls.
39:18This is lovely stuff.
39:20They always like this.
39:21Yes.
39:21No.
39:22No, yeah, yeah.
39:22Once I get going, they're like wildcats.
39:25No biting, please, girls.
39:27No, I won't keep quiet.
39:28I'm fed up of it.
39:29We need to find out...
39:30Boys?
39:31Is everything all right?
39:33Someone's thrown eggs at our front door.
39:35We just sat down to watch the Golden Girls and then...
39:38God, that's awful.
39:39I'm so sorry.
39:41Oh, do you reckon it was kids?
39:42Well, either that or a chicken fired one out mid-flight.
39:45Jez, it's not funny.
39:46You know, we had a lot of this sort of thing in the old place.
39:48Yeah.
39:48Just can't seem to leave us alone.
39:50Oh, my God, are you?
39:52There.
39:52Yep.
39:52What?
39:54No.
39:55No, no.
39:56I was talking to you about Carboretto's earlier.
39:58He said he supported Dagenham Rovers.
40:00Oh, I'm sorry, Nigel.
40:02Which team should have put support?
40:03Arsenal.
40:05No.
40:06No.
40:07What?
40:07You've done this on purpose.
40:10You've been leading me on.
40:12Sorry, Nigel.
40:13You're really not a type at all.
40:15My God, it's spreading up the street.
40:17First your house, now theirs.
40:18I'm going to wake up like Nabaretto Lova.
40:20Can we just stop?
40:22Please.
40:22I'll do it.
40:23I'll clean it up.
40:24It's fine.
40:24It's nearly done anyway now, so thank you.
40:27Well, look, come in for a cuppa.
40:28I insist.
40:29As long as you're sure.
40:31Ah, yeah, yeah.
40:32It's Christine's friend.
40:34And, you know, you both of you can...
40:35With the both of...
40:36I'm going to put the kettle on.
40:38Come on.
40:38Why are you being rude?
40:40Well, we will not be coming.
40:41Good.
40:42You weren't invited.
40:45Oh, I understand.
40:46What is the world coming to you?
40:47How is it now?
40:48How is it now?
40:49How is it now?
40:50I'll go anyway.
40:52No.
40:53Thank you very much.
41:00Oh, Joe.
41:01Yeah.
41:03But...
41:03There was me thinking sitting in a bar full of cold baked beans was humiliating.
41:09But seeing him putting his arm round her and walking off, well, me toes curled and me stomach churned.
41:19There's plenty more fish in the sea, love.
41:22No, no, there aren't.
41:24That was my fish and they were...
41:26Oh, love.
41:27They're opening hands.
41:30I really felt that I had a chance.
41:35She just wasn't the one, darling.
41:42Night, Chrissy.
41:46I wasn't talking about Georgie.
41:49I know.
41:51I've known for ages.
41:55Night, Adam.
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