- 2 days ago
When a top local businessman and his two bumbling nephews try to shut down the town's only video arcade, arcade employees and patrons fight back. When a top local businessman and his two bumbling nephews try to shut down the town's only video arcade, arcade employees and patrons fight bac
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Think Speed
00:00:10Cue eyes, quick hands
00:00:13Energize my soul again
00:00:16Gonna see my name in lies
00:00:19Lay me with my joystick
00:00:22Wave to left, turn it right
00:00:25Stop it in breathing inside
00:00:28Shoot fast, shoot straight
00:00:31Video to the max
00:00:34One down, two to go
00:00:37Can't stop, I wanna roll
00:00:40Video, joystick
00:00:42I need a record for video
00:00:44Joy, joystick
00:00:45Please let me have a corner
00:00:47Video, joystick
00:00:48I got to have a corner
00:00:50Totally awesome video games
00:00:55Here they come
00:00:56Where they go
00:00:58Humanites, UFOs
00:01:01All day, all day
00:01:04Video to the max
00:01:07One down, two to go
00:01:10Can't stop, I wanna roll
00:01:14Video, joystick
00:01:15I need a record for video
00:01:17Joy, joystick
00:01:18Please let me have a corner
00:01:20Video, joystick
00:01:21I got to have a corner
00:01:23Totally awesome video games
00:01:28Video, joystick
00:01:36I need another corner
00:01:37Video, joystick
00:01:39Please let me have a corner
00:01:40Video, joystick
00:01:42I got to have a corner
00:01:44Totally awesome video games
00:01:47Totally awesome video games
00:01:54I hope I don't spill things
00:02:00And act like a slob
00:02:01Oh my doodah day
00:02:03Oh da doodah day
00:02:05Oh da doodah day
00:02:08Look both ways
00:02:09Camp town, racetrack
00:02:10Five miles long
00:02:12Today's my first day
00:02:14At a new job
00:02:16Doodah, doodah
00:02:18Hope I don't spill things
00:02:19Look like slob
00:02:21Oh my doodah day
00:02:22Yoohoo!
00:02:23Maybe you'd like to pull over
00:02:26And sing us a song
00:02:27Oh
00:02:28You think I have a good voice?
00:02:29Mm-hmm
00:02:30I never really thought
00:02:31I had a good voice
00:02:32Oh, well come on over
00:02:34We'll make beautiful music together
00:02:36You know?
00:02:37I like fun just as much
00:02:38As the next guy
00:02:39But um
00:02:39It's my first day
00:02:41At the arcade
00:02:41You work at the video arcade?
00:02:43Jeff Bailey's?
00:02:44Yes, I'm helping Mr. Bailey
00:02:45Uh, Jeff
00:02:46Out
00:02:46Why don't you come on over?
00:02:48Well
00:02:49I'd really like to
00:02:50I mean a guy can't have
00:02:51Too many friends in this life
00:02:52But I really gotta go
00:02:54Why don't you come on over?
00:02:58Come on over?
00:02:59Now?
00:03:00There?
00:03:00What do you mean?
00:03:01Now?
00:03:02Here in your backseat now?
00:03:03Dude
00:03:04Well, okay
00:03:06See you
00:03:10Look at him
00:03:11Do we really have to
00:03:12Go through with this?
00:03:19Do you want to get
00:03:20Your sorority or not?
00:03:21Besides
00:03:22We don't really have to
00:03:23Ball him
00:03:23We just gotta get his pants down
00:03:25Okay now, girls
00:03:33I don't have too much time
00:03:35Well, this shouldn't take too long
00:03:37Which one of us
00:03:38Do you want first?
00:03:42Eenie
00:03:43Meenie
00:03:44Miney
00:03:45Moe
00:03:45For which one
00:03:47Shall I go?
00:03:50Oh
00:03:50I'm sorry
00:03:51You
00:03:52I'm sorry
00:03:52Luck of a draw
00:03:56Oh, I can take it
00:03:58But I want to watch
00:03:59Watch?
00:04:01What?
00:04:02Why?
00:04:03Well, okay, okay
00:04:04I get it
00:04:05Certainly
00:04:05That's okay with me
00:04:06Oh, wow
00:04:15You really
00:04:16Turned me on
00:04:17There's more
00:04:19Where that came from
00:04:20Baby
00:04:21I can't wait any longer
00:04:24You've got to show me
00:04:25Your manhood
00:04:26Oh
00:04:27Ladies
00:04:34Prepare yourself
00:04:35I would like you to meet
00:04:37Simba
00:04:38Smile
00:04:41Hey
00:04:42What are you
00:04:43Don't
00:04:46Hey, hey, hey, wait
00:04:59My pants
00:05:00My keys
00:05:00Isn't that me okay?
00:05:11Attention, video enthusiasts
00:05:29This is your last chance
00:05:31It's a free drink
00:05:32With the purchase of five dollars or more
00:05:33At our beautiful snack box
00:05:35You are so full of shit, Jeff Bailey
00:05:38Jaffee, come over here and play Galaxian with me
00:05:40I just thought it'd be like way totally bitching
00:05:42If you would like play with me
00:05:43Ow
00:05:44Sorry
00:05:46Patsy, like Jeff promised to play me
00:05:48Oh, God, Connie
00:05:50Spain's put up that you are
00:05:51Jeffy never promised you anything
00:05:53Did you, Jeff?
00:05:54Well, ladies, you know I never play these games
00:05:56Oh, come on, Jeff
00:05:58I'll do anything that you ask me to
00:05:59Anything
00:06:00Please, girls, I can't
00:06:02I have to keep my relationship with the clientele
00:06:04On a professional level
00:06:05Excuse me
00:06:06But
00:06:07I've got a couple of free tokens
00:06:09For me behind the tower
00:06:10And maybe a little later
00:06:11I'll come by
00:06:12Take a little peek over your shoulder
00:06:14And see how you're doing, okay?
00:06:17Hey
00:06:18Now, this is an exciting offer, isn't it, guys?
00:06:20I mean, a free drink doesn't happen every day
00:06:22Jefferson, are these yours?
00:06:28I belong to Eugene Groby
00:06:30Well, his pants are here
00:06:32He, uh, can't be far behind, huh?
00:06:34Thank you
00:06:34Gee, are you all right?
00:07:02Yes, I'm fine
00:07:03Yes, I'm fine, Mr. Bailey
00:07:04No, no, that's cool
00:07:05I just, I told you to call me Jeff
00:07:07Huh?
00:07:08Call me Jeff
00:07:08Oh
00:07:09Yeah, well, I will
00:07:11Um, I'm so sorry I'm late
00:07:13I had a lot of difficulty getting here
00:07:15This being my first day and all
00:07:16I had a couple of problems, as a matter of fact
00:07:20Are you all right, little Eugene?
00:07:22We left your pants here like we promised
00:07:24Sorry they got all wet
00:07:27Excuse me, brother
00:07:37I am officially reporting for duty
00:07:44Father, father, this thing is possessing me
00:07:52Father, father, I am losing control
00:07:56Father, I have seen the blast
00:08:00You're last, you're last
00:08:02Fingerprints, fingerprints, filthy fingerprints, excuse me
00:08:22Excuse me, excuse me, young man
00:08:38Would, you've got to stop playing the games
00:08:40You're a disgrace
00:08:42Excuse me, sir
00:08:44Would you stop playing the games?
00:08:48Young man, you must listen to me
00:08:50Hey, hey
00:08:52I'm sorry, but you're not allowed to have food on the games
00:08:55No one's ever gotten seven figures on this machine before
00:09:04Not even me
00:09:05I don't think she's capable of seven figures
00:09:08Well, I'm sorry about that
00:09:11But I work here now
00:09:12And I find you appear entirely objectionable
00:09:14I suggest that you just trot on out of here
00:09:17And come back when you're in better condition to play the game
00:09:20Let you and me see what's in the science, okay?
00:09:26Hey, here now
00:09:27What are you doing?
00:09:28You, you can't do that
00:09:30Watch me
00:09:31I am just going to go get Mr. Jefferson Bailey
00:09:34Is what I'm going to do
00:09:35Yeah, you do that
00:09:36Excuse me, we have an emergency
00:09:44Is something wrong with the machine, Dorfus?
00:09:48No, I was just trying to get it over to see what's inside of it
00:09:50Had a real good game going there
00:09:52Anyway, interrupt
00:09:53Wait, yes, sir
00:09:55I thought he...
00:09:57That's okay, Eugene
00:09:58We know what you thought
00:09:59But I'm going to introduce you to Jonathan Andrew McDorfus
00:10:03Hi, kid
00:10:04Hi
00:10:05Eugene, you must remember Dorfus
00:10:06He graduated last year with me at school
00:10:08He was our senior class president
00:10:10You're kidding
00:10:11He was the senior class president last year
00:10:14He didn't look anything like this
00:10:16What happened?
00:10:18Games, kid
00:10:19Video games
00:10:21Don't you think you ought to wash your hands first?
00:10:28How come?
00:10:31Hi, excuse me
00:10:32My goodness
00:10:39I'm sorry
00:10:40It looks like I got my hot dog in your thing
00:10:44I mean, I got my wiener in your
00:10:47Um, um, here
00:10:49Um
00:10:50Eugene
00:10:54Get the one that says Oscar Mayer on it
00:10:56I'm sorry
00:11:06Oh, dear
00:11:08Oh, dear
00:11:08Come on
00:11:17Jacket
00:11:30Radio
00:11:36Music
00:11:39Arcade
00:11:45Get out
00:11:46Idiot, take your position
00:12:02Start the game
00:12:06After midnight, you're certain Patchy's in here
00:12:33Yes, Uncle Joseph
00:12:34Well, I certainly hope you're wrong
00:12:37I'm not gonna let you break me
00:12:43Can't let you take me
00:12:46Miss Batman
00:12:48Oh, I'll save you, Patsy
00:12:56Oh, thank you
00:13:04Get up from there, Patsy
00:13:09My most embarrassing moment
00:13:13My Patsy
00:13:14Run
00:13:14Never mind all that
00:13:15Get up, you're going home
00:13:16Mr. Rudder, Jefferson Bailey here
00:13:23I'm sorry if there's been any problem
00:13:25You're damn right there's a problem here
00:13:26Just look what's happening with my daughter here
00:13:28Huh?
00:13:28I wanna see the manager
00:13:29Well, sir, I am the manager
00:13:30You're not the manager
00:13:32You're just a punk kid
00:13:33Uh, my grandfather's the owner
00:13:35And he's out of town
00:13:36So, in his absence
00:13:37I have complete power and authority
00:13:40And I am certain that I can assist you
00:13:42I know, feed me that bullshit, kid
00:13:44You're running a garbage dump in here
00:13:45And I intend to do something about it
00:13:47Patsy
00:13:47Out
00:13:48Go
00:13:49Hold on
00:13:50Surface maneuver
00:13:53Get out
00:13:58Get out
00:13:59Get out
00:14:00Patsy
00:14:06I just got off the phone
00:14:08With that Mayor Neville
00:14:09That lazy no-count
00:14:10Sorry
00:14:10He refuses to close
00:14:12That horrible video arcade
00:14:13Daddy, would you like
00:14:15Get out of my rails, okay?
00:14:16I am laying down the law
00:14:17About that arcade, young lady
00:14:18Oh, Daddy
00:14:19That reminds me
00:14:21Connie and I were like
00:14:22Going to go shopping
00:14:23At the Bonnarama
00:14:23Could I have some Billy's then?
00:14:25Pardon?
00:14:26You know
00:14:27I think you caught it
00:14:27Lettuce once
00:14:28Or was a cabbage
00:14:29All right, all right
00:14:30At least I didn't take them
00:14:35Patsy, God
00:14:37All right, now, Patsy
00:14:38We have an understanding
00:14:39You will not go to the arcade again, right?
00:14:41Daddy
00:14:42If I want to go to the arcade
00:14:45Like
00:14:46I am going to go
00:14:47Okay
00:14:48Jeff
00:14:56Dorfus
00:14:57Oh, my goodness
00:14:58Thank goodness you're here
00:14:59Something really strange
00:15:00Is happening in the parking lot
00:15:01There's this van
00:15:02And it's shaking
00:15:03And rocking
00:15:03Here
00:15:04Take this
00:15:05It'll calm you down
00:15:06Oh, thanks
00:15:06Oh, thanks
00:15:06I didn't know you liked ketchup and cookies
00:15:11Ketchup and cookies
00:15:12Eugene
00:15:13I'm going to put you in charge
00:15:15Of finding out
00:15:16What is happening in the parking lot
00:15:18With the van
00:15:19Me in charge?
00:15:20Yeah
00:15:21It's only my second day
00:15:23And I already have a project
00:15:24Thanks
00:15:28Remember
00:15:31Who's ever out there
00:15:32May not want to be interrupted
00:15:34Don't worry, Dorfus
00:15:37You can count on me
00:15:38He's such a punis
00:15:43Yeah
00:15:43Punis
00:15:45That was great
00:16:06Yeah, let's do it again
00:16:07So, what'd you want to talk about?
00:16:09Well, I heard what you guys did
00:16:10To my new employee yesterday
00:16:12You should have been there
00:16:14It was great
00:16:15I would have given anything
00:16:16To have been there
00:16:17I mean, I'm just dying
00:16:18To see what that picture looks like
00:16:20See, we needed a picture
00:16:22Of a nerd with his pants down
00:16:23Come on, ladies
00:16:24I just gotta see
00:16:25What my new employee looks like
00:16:26Caught in the act
00:16:27Okay, I'll tell you
00:16:29What I'm gonna do
00:16:30You know that new
00:16:30Special video game
00:16:31You've been wanting to play
00:16:32You show me the picture
00:16:35And we'll go in there
00:16:35Right now and play
00:16:36Strip video
00:16:38You got it
00:16:40Great leg, Eugene
00:16:46Come on, baby
00:16:50Let's go
00:16:51Come on
00:16:56Okay
00:16:56Baby
00:17:22Baby
00:17:25I came here because I thought I might be able to reason with you.
00:17:28I should have known better.
00:17:29This place deserves to be shut down.
00:17:31Patsy, come on in.
00:17:31Okay, Daddy.
00:17:32Now, don't joke.
00:17:32If you close this, I could explain what you want.
00:17:34Shut it.
00:17:35Get out of my way, you brats.
00:17:38Fuck it.
00:17:40I don't want to talk about it, young lady.
00:17:42One way or the other, I'm going to close that place down.
00:17:44God, Daddy, it's like you are so edged.
00:17:46You are turning totally edged.
00:17:47If you would, like, listen to me every time,
00:17:49I could explain to you that Jeff Bailey is like a totally bitching guy.
00:17:53And I wanted to tell you, God, what you crazy.
00:17:55Crisp bows.
00:17:56Look, young lady, you're not too old a tan anymore.
00:17:58And don't talk about your lame-brained cousins that way either.
00:18:00Now, get in the car.
00:18:04Uncle Joseph, what?
00:18:06What do you want us to do?
00:18:08I don't want you idiots to do nothing.
00:18:13Don't worry, Max.
00:18:15I got an idea.
00:18:16Great.
00:18:16I hope it's a good one.
00:18:25Is my mascara overdone?
00:18:27Max, cut it out.
00:18:30No, really.
00:18:31If it's too much, I can fix it.
00:18:32See?
00:18:35Your mascara is fine.
00:18:37You wouldn't just say that?
00:18:38Max, you look great.
00:18:39Don't worry.
00:18:40What's this?
00:18:41Let me see something.
00:18:41Let me see something.
00:18:42Okay, okay.
00:18:43Okay, okay.
00:18:44God, don't be such a bully.
00:18:46Don't forget.
00:18:47Max, we got to look and act like these video game pinball players
00:18:50so we can check out the place and they won't notice it.
00:18:53Okay.
00:18:54Max, you got it?
00:18:54Uh-huh.
00:18:55You got it?
00:18:55It's Maxine.
00:18:57I'm going to lay you out.
00:18:59You promise?
00:19:00Come on.
00:19:01Man, I love wheels.
00:19:04I want to get me some wheels.
00:19:07Wait.
00:19:09Stop.
00:19:17Has anyone ever told you?
00:19:18You got great legs.
00:19:26Not in years.
00:19:29Come here.
00:19:30Okay.
00:19:32You're, uh, you're definitely videoing me, dear.
00:19:37Oh, thank you.
00:19:38Love, man.
00:19:40It's love.
00:19:41It's cool.
00:19:42It's groovy.
00:19:44Peace.
00:19:44Peace.
00:19:46Come on, Max.
00:19:47Maxine, let's go inside.
00:19:50Maxine.
00:19:52Oh, yeah.
00:19:54Come on, Maxine.
00:19:55Let's go inside.
00:19:56Wait.
00:19:57Don't leave me like this.
00:20:00Oh, what an animal.
00:20:04Oh, no battle zones.
00:20:08Peace.
00:20:09Now I'm in our peace, brother.
00:20:13What's this, a car?
00:20:14Oh, I want to play this.
00:20:16Oh, looking good, mama.
00:20:19Is there something you want?
00:20:20Yeah, I'd like to play this game.
00:20:22No, I don't think so.
00:20:23See, no girl's allowed to play my machine.
00:20:26Not really.
00:20:27I'm sorry, Maxine.
00:20:30I'm going to play.
00:20:31No, I don't think so.
00:20:32See, uh, no guy with ugly shit gets to play my machine.
00:20:37Besides, man, it's busy.
00:20:39I'm only going to be a minute.
00:20:40I love to really get behind the wheel.
00:20:42I drive for a living.
00:20:43Trucks, cars, you name it.
00:20:44It's a cinch.
00:20:45Yeah, it looks like it.
00:20:46Your old lady looks like she's been in plenty of accidents.
00:20:49But I don't think you understand.
00:20:52It's my turn.
00:20:54Oh, I get you.
00:20:55Then it's my turn.
00:20:56No, man.
00:20:58You still don't get it.
00:21:01He's next.
00:21:02I think he's trying to tell you the game's tied up.
00:21:09Hey, you get the prize.
00:21:11Give him the flower, Maxine.
00:21:14Spread your love over to that side.
00:21:16Peace.
00:21:16And I'll spread my love over on this side.
00:21:19Peace.
00:21:20Groovy.
00:21:22Groovy.
00:21:26Peace.
00:21:28Love, sisters.
00:21:30Hey, Arnie, look.
00:21:31It's a Ms. Pac-Man.
00:21:33It shows just like me.
00:21:37I think you've got anything.
00:21:38Hey, Arnie, you don't wear more makeup.
00:21:40Forget it, Max.
00:21:42I gotta figure it out.
00:21:43Yeah.
00:21:43I know how to make Uncle Joseph real proud.
00:21:47You do?
00:21:48Wow, wow.
00:21:48You ready?
00:21:49Yeah.
00:21:49You listening?
00:21:49Uh-huh.
00:21:50There's no security around here.
00:21:53Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:21:53So?
00:21:54Yeah?
00:21:54What?
00:21:55We can empty this joint tonight.
00:21:56We'll bust in here and take every machine.
00:21:57Yeah, but if you take out all the games,
00:21:59how's anybody gonna play?
00:22:00Because of Max.
00:22:03You are brilliant.
00:22:04Yeah.
00:22:05And so is Owen and Frank.
00:22:07Let's go.
00:22:07Let's go.
00:22:08All right.
00:22:09All right.
00:22:09All right.
00:22:09All right.
00:22:09All right.
00:22:11All right.
00:22:25Wait.
00:22:25Wait.
00:22:26Wait.
00:22:26Come back here.
00:22:27Come back here.
00:22:29Wait a minute.
00:22:29My little animal.
00:22:32And they said they were gonna steal all the video games,
00:22:35and they said they were gonna do it tonight.
00:22:36Jeff, we gotta call the police.
00:22:38No.
00:22:39Not when my grandfather's out of town.
00:22:41I don't want the police to know anything about this,
00:22:43but I got an idea.
00:22:45There's the place.
00:22:52KG, you ready?
00:22:53Ready?
00:22:53Ready for what?
00:22:54Come on.
00:22:54Come on.
00:22:54We're gonna save Jeff.
00:23:07Oh.
00:23:08Shh.
00:23:09Sorry, Dorfo.
00:23:10Just a little further.
00:23:11Strike back.
00:23:12Keep going.
00:23:13Keep going.
00:23:14Keep going.
00:23:15Okay.
00:23:16Okay.
00:23:17Keep going.
00:23:17Hey, it's good.
00:23:20Wait a minute, guys.
00:23:21Yeah.
00:23:26Listen, Dorf.
00:23:27Let's just go back to the arcade.
00:23:29No.
00:23:30I'll make you some hot dogs.
00:23:31No.
00:23:32Hot dogs and chili.
00:23:33Would you get up there so we can get some shit on this water guy
00:23:36and leave the arcade alone?
00:23:37Come on.
00:23:38Don't go.
00:23:38Just get up there.
00:23:39Don't go.
00:23:39Just get up there.
00:23:40Don't go.
00:23:40Get up there.
00:23:41Oh, no.
00:23:58Help me.
00:23:59Help me.
00:24:00She's not cool.
00:24:26She's not cool.
00:24:30Oh, Eugene.
00:24:41This is your chance to pop your cork.
00:24:45Oh, God.
00:24:45Dorf, it's telling me to be a joke.
00:24:50Dorf, it's...
00:24:51She won't let go.
00:24:52Oh, it's nature telling you it's time for you to get laid.
00:24:56No, no.
00:24:58Not like this, Dorf.
00:24:59Come on.
00:24:59Help me.
00:25:00Please, help.
00:25:00Help you.
00:25:01Come on.
00:25:02Quit fighting it, Eugene.
00:25:03This is bigger than one of us.
00:25:07Baby, it's been so long.
00:25:13Help me.
00:25:16Come on, Eugene.
00:25:17Help.
00:25:17Assert your manhood.
00:25:21Help.
00:25:21Help.
00:25:22Dolphys.
00:25:36Storfez.
00:25:40Shit.
00:25:41Watch it, lady.
00:25:43Watch your hands.
00:25:44Oh, come on.
00:25:50Jane, rudder!
00:25:52Shit!
00:26:14Good, okay. Great. Hey, Arnie, you think Uncle Joseph would let us keep one of these machines for the den?
00:26:26You know, I think we should put one of these machines right next to the sofa in the den.
00:26:32You ready, number one?
00:26:34What do you think?
00:26:36What do I think?
00:26:38Okay, number one, go.
00:26:40I think your ass is grassing in the second.
00:26:42Right, right.
00:26:58Some cover, Vivian.
00:27:00Some covers, Vivian.
00:27:03Come on, baby, don't stop now.
00:27:10Go back to sleep, Vivian. You're having a dream.
00:27:13Oh, it doesn't matter, big boy. I was just getting started.
00:27:17Well, take another pill, huh?
00:27:29No, no, stop.
00:27:31I can't stop now.
00:27:40Hold that, Vivian.
00:27:42Did I tell you to talk to Dr. Michelson about that?
00:27:44No.
00:27:47Yes.
00:27:52Shit.
00:27:58Oh, no.
00:27:59What do you want this hour?
00:28:28Uh, my name is Jonathan Andrew McDorffis.
00:28:34I needed somebody to talk to, and I knew I could trust you.
00:28:38Oh, it's 2 o'clock in the morning. What is this? Are you drunk?
00:28:41Drunk? No, I'm not drunk. I don't even take mind-altering drugs.
00:28:45Well, sir, now is the time for safety.
00:28:50In our country today, if you want to get out safely, you better act now.
00:28:57Do you understand?
00:28:59Hey, what are you crazy? Why are you shouting?
00:29:01Shouting? Am I shouting, Mr. Rudder, down here at the front porch?
00:29:06No, I'm not shouting. I just want my friends.
00:29:09I want all my friends to know that it's safe if they act now.
00:29:14What's happened, Max? How much gas did you put in here?
00:29:20I put in a dollar's worth.
00:29:22What do you think this is, a moped?
00:29:24No, that's all I had. Besides, we only have two miles away.
00:29:27Now you're going to have to go get the gas. Get the gas.
00:29:30No, you get the gas. It's your turn.
00:29:31No, you put the dollar in, you get the gas.
00:29:33No, you get the gas.
00:29:34No, you get the gas.
00:29:34You get the gas.
00:29:35You get the gas.
00:29:36We'll both get the gas.
00:29:37No, we'll both get the gas.
00:29:38Right.
00:29:39Okay.
00:29:45Let's go, guys.
00:29:45Those idiots will be back soon.
00:29:47Come on, get us out of here.
00:29:49Look, young man, you're going to have to stop yelling or I'm going to call the police.
00:29:52Oh, that'll be necessary, Mr. Rudder.
00:29:54I'll lower my voice.
00:30:05Oh, shit.
00:30:06Eugene and Mommy.
00:30:22Hey, Arnie.
00:30:23Yeah.
00:30:24I'm sorry about the gas.
00:30:26Forget about it, Max.
00:30:27Don't worry about it.
00:30:28We fixed it.
00:30:28Come on.
00:30:29Look at Uncle Joseph's going to love this.
00:30:31Right.
00:30:32God, Uncle Joseph's going to be so proud of us.
00:30:34I'm going to be Uncle Joseph's right-hand man.
00:30:36Yeah, and all I'm going to be is, uh, uh, I can be is.
00:30:42Hey, guys, we did it.
00:30:43Yeah.
00:30:43We did it.
00:30:44Okay, we'll finish this up, and then I am throwing a party.
00:30:47I mean, a private party.
00:30:49Private party.
00:30:50All the tokens are on the house.
00:30:51Hey, I'm going to bring an old lady.
00:30:53Yeah, great idea, man.
00:30:54Hey, get all the girls down here.
00:30:56Hey, I got it.
00:30:57Tell them to come as they are.
00:30:58I love PJs.
00:31:00You know, the quills and the lates.
00:31:02All right.
00:31:03All right.
00:31:03All right.
00:31:04Let's go, guys.
00:31:05I wasn't living much of a start-off in life as a child.
00:31:11At least what I can remember of my childhood.
00:31:16I can't go on like this.
00:31:18This is happening all so fast.
00:31:27I don't even know if you're here to me.
00:31:29No.
00:31:29Mr. Rudder, I was so young then.
00:31:32Hey, buddy, it's at the 2 in the morning.
00:31:34I really don't care about your problems.
00:31:35But wait, wait, wait.
00:31:37It's about the arcade.
00:31:39I thought it might be.
00:31:40What about the video arcade?
00:31:42Mr. Rudder, I think you're all wrong about the arcade.
00:31:46And it's a great place for boys and girls to have a good time.
00:31:53Why, all kids need somewhere they can have a good time.
00:31:56And in having a good time, they'd be somewhere like Eugene.
00:32:01He's been somewhere.
00:32:02He's now here.
00:32:06Hi.
00:32:06He works the arcade, don't you?
00:32:08Yes, I do.
00:32:09Tell him about it.
00:32:10I enjoy my work there very much.
00:32:12It's a wonderful place to work.
00:32:14That's enough, Eugene.
00:32:16Mel.
00:32:23Max.
00:32:23What is that?
00:32:31Hey, come on.
00:32:32Let's go somewhere.
00:32:34Hey, look.
00:32:35You're going to love it.
00:32:36Pratt, you're going to wake up all the neighbors.
00:32:38We stole all the video games.
00:32:39Stole what?
00:32:40Can we keep one for the den?
00:32:42I have one for the...
00:32:42Here's a receipt for the truck rental, Uncle Joe.
00:32:48Receipt for what?
00:32:50Just wait till you see it.
00:32:51Say what?
00:32:57Hey, Arnie, what happened?
00:32:58Hey, Candy, Candy, you were great.
00:33:16It's great.
00:33:17Hi, champ.
00:33:18Hi, Candy.
00:33:19You want to play Pac-Man?
00:33:23Maybe later.
00:33:24Maybe later.
00:33:24Oh.
00:33:37Hey, Vidiot.
00:33:38Vid.
00:33:39Vid.
00:33:40I see the gang's all here.
00:33:42Hey.
00:33:44What's the idea?
00:33:45Open it up and not alerting the Vidiot?
00:33:46We see we're not open.
00:33:47We took care of a little business and now we're celebrating.
00:33:50We're going to have to leave because this party is private.
00:33:53Well, why can't we stay?
00:33:55I told you.
00:33:55We're not open.
00:33:56Well, uh...
00:33:58I'll tell you what.
00:33:59How about if we play for it?
00:34:01You against me.
00:34:01And if I win, we stay.
00:34:02If you win, we leave.
00:34:04No, now, you know I never play these games.
00:34:06I'll tell you what.
00:34:07I'll tell you what.
00:34:09You pick your best player.
00:34:10Him against me.
00:34:11If he wins, no problems.
00:34:13I leave.
00:34:13You got a game.
00:34:15Ha, ha, ha.
00:34:15Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:34:17Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:34:19Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:34:19Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:34:19Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:34:20Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:34:20Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:34:21This isn't...
00:34:22And the game is...
00:34:23Satan's Hollow!
00:34:27This way, Andy!
00:34:28This way!
00:34:30Okay, here, let's get this show on the road.
00:34:32Now, the rules of the arena are very simple.
00:34:34Each man will play one complete game of Satan's Hollow,
00:34:38and at the end of the game,
00:34:39the man with the highest point total will be the winner.
00:34:44I'm gonna kill you.
00:34:46Go for it, matchhead.
00:34:47Okay, come on, come on.
00:34:49Players in position, ready to start game.
00:34:51Tokens, please.
00:34:54Ready?
00:34:54Start game!
00:34:55Okay, Dorfus, come on, let's go, Dorfus.
00:35:13Dorfus, what are you doing?
00:35:14It's time to play, come on.
00:35:19Dorfus, come on, eat the hot dog and let's start it.
00:35:22Okay, come on, come on.
00:35:23Play the game, Dorfus.
00:35:24Dorfus, play the game.
00:35:26Play the game, Dorfus.
00:35:28Come on, guys.
00:35:29Dorfus, watch out.
00:35:30You're about to be hit, Dorfus.
00:35:32Oh, yeah!
00:35:33Dorfus, Dorfus, come on.
00:35:36Here's your second man.
00:35:36Come on, Dorfus.
00:35:39Dorfus, play the game.
00:35:40Oh, yeah!
00:35:41Oh, yeah!
00:35:41Oh, yeah!
00:35:42Oh, yeah!
00:35:44Yeah!
00:35:44Yeah!
00:35:46What's this, Dorfus?
00:35:47Pick it up!
00:35:48We're going to do this.
00:35:48Come on, we've got to win.
00:35:49Come on, Dorfus, get going.
00:35:51Oh, yeah!
00:35:52Oh, yeah!
00:35:57This is great, this is great.
00:35:59Dorfus, what are you doing?
00:36:04Get down to your last man, Dorfus!
00:36:08There's only one man.
00:36:09What are you doing, Dorfus?
00:36:11Dorfus, come on.
00:36:11There's only one left.
00:36:12Come on.
00:36:13There's only one left.
00:36:14What's he doing?
00:36:14Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:36:15Too bad, Dorfus, too bad!
00:36:20I lost one again, you bought it.
00:36:22Oh, there's your man!
00:36:23Oh, there's your man!
00:36:26Ah!
00:36:26Oh, right!
00:36:34Echo, yeah.
00:36:35Go, go, echo, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
00:36:40Go, go, go, go, go, get back!
00:36:45Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
00:36:47oh
00:37:17Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
00:37:23Go, we're going, let's go!
00:37:25Go, go, go, go!
00:37:27All right!
00:37:34Yorvis, you won!
00:37:35Hey, Dorfus!
00:37:37Dorfus, you can stop now!
00:37:39Hey, Dorfus, it's only a game!
00:37:41Come on!
00:37:41No, no, Jeff, it's not just a game.
00:37:43It's a Dorfus.
00:37:44Playing video games is like eating or sleeping.
00:37:47Breathing.
00:37:48Things that we take for granted and never question.
00:37:50You ask Dorfus to stop it, you don't realize that for him to give up
00:37:53would be for him to give up on the very impulse that allows his heart to continue beating,
00:37:57the blood to surge through his veins, and the air to fill through his lungs.
00:38:06God, Eugene!
00:38:07You're making me sick to my stomach!
00:38:09You have just witnessed a true champion.
00:38:19Sorry you lost, but maybe it's the color of your hair.
00:38:22Hey, hey, look, Fidiot, you can stay, but no trouble, promise?
00:38:27Hey, men!
00:38:28A Fidiot never promises nothing to no one!
00:38:31Ooh!
00:38:31Look, look, look, look, look, look, look.
00:38:39Oh, no!
00:38:42Uh-oh.
00:38:45Patsy, I thought I told you
00:38:47you couldn't come here anymore.
00:38:48Yeah, but Daddy, that was like the video arcade.
00:38:50This isn't a video arcade.
00:38:51It's like a party in the middle of the night
00:38:53at the video arcade,
00:38:53so this is like just part of the atmosphere.
00:38:55Bailey, you've gone too far this time.
00:38:58You have no right to keep this business open
00:38:59this late at night.
00:39:00We are not open for business, Rudder.
00:39:02This is a private party.
00:39:04Yeah, Daddy, no offense,
00:39:05but you weren't on the invite list.
00:39:07Way rude.
00:39:09Look, you're taking blatant advantage
00:39:11of these miners.
00:39:12I mean, look around how these young girls are dressed.
00:39:14Yeah, and I know each and everyone personally,
00:39:17so if you're interested,
00:39:18let me know which one of them.
00:39:19Let's jump with them.
00:39:19Look, I've had just about enough of you
00:39:21for one night, young man.
00:39:22I want you out of here, Rudder.
00:39:23This is a private gathering.
00:39:25I'm leaving.
00:39:26But you haven't heard the last of me yet.
00:39:29It's a stupid idea about stealing those games
00:39:32and renting a truck.
00:39:34Stupid.
00:39:35Shut up, shut up, shut up.
00:39:36I want you two to arrange a spontaneous public demonstration
00:39:53outside this arcade tomorrow afternoon.
00:39:57That's a good idea, Uncle Joseph.
00:39:59Yeah, well, I'll screw this one up.
00:40:00Uncle Joseph, that reminds me.
00:40:02We screwed it up with the truck tonight,
00:40:03and we're going to pick up the tab.
00:40:06I got the receipt right here,
00:40:08so don't worry.
00:40:09We're going to take care of it personally.
00:40:11This is Alexis Wheeler speaking to you live
00:40:13from Bailey's Video Arcade.
00:40:15We're in the middle of a spontaneous demonstration
00:40:17to close down the arcade.
00:40:19We have a special interview for you
00:40:21with this gentleman over here.
00:40:22Oh, excuse me.
00:40:24Your name, sir?
00:40:26Joseph Rudder.
00:40:27Rudder Enterprises right here in River City.
00:40:29Mr. Rudder, do you have anything to do
00:40:31with this demonstration?
00:40:32Well, no, ma'am.
00:40:32I came here as a shocked parent,
00:40:34a concerned parent who cares very deeply
00:40:36about all the children of this community.
00:40:40You know, what takes place here day after day
00:40:42stands as a testament to the rotting moral decay
00:40:44of our society.
00:40:45Rudder was determined to close us down
00:40:47from the moment he walked into this place.
00:40:49The man's a driven asshole.
00:40:50No, no, you don't see what I mean.
00:40:52He was there when Alvin Lola ran out
00:40:54with their tops off.
00:40:56He thinks we're running a bordello.
00:40:58Bordello?
00:40:59Yes, you should have seen my expression
00:41:01on the druggist's face
00:41:01when I picked up these slides this morning.
00:41:03Look at this.
00:41:04What did he get there?
00:41:05And so, at the Video Arcade
00:41:07with one very angry and frustrated parent.
00:41:09This is Alexis Wheeler, Channel 6,
00:41:11Up to the Minute News.
00:41:12All right.
00:41:14Oh, I got an idea.
00:41:16Alexis!
00:41:16This is Alexis Wheeler
00:41:18speaking to your poolside
00:41:19at the home of Mr. Joseph Rudder
00:41:21who is conducting the campaign in this city
00:41:23to close down the Video Arcade.
00:41:25Mr. Rudder, thank you for allowing us into your home.
00:41:27Could you reiterate to our audience
00:41:29what it is you plan to accomplish?
00:41:30Now, we have a contingency of parents
00:41:32demonstrating in front of the Arcade now
00:41:34and we will continue to do so
00:41:35until Mayor Neville calls a special meeting
00:41:37of the City Council
00:41:38to discuss this issue specifically.
00:41:40And it has to be done soon
00:41:41before any more harm to our children is done.
00:41:43Uh, have you in fact
00:41:44ever gone to the Video Arcade?
00:41:46Haven't I made myself clear, lady?
00:41:48That damn Video Arcade
00:41:48is nothing but a breeding ground
00:41:50for decadent and antisocial behavior.
00:41:53That's interesting, Mr. Rudder.
00:41:55Uh, speaking of antisocial behavior,
00:41:57I have photographic evidence
00:41:58of you at the Arcade
00:42:00with two semi-nude girls in your arms.
00:42:02What is this?
00:42:03Is this a setup or something?
00:42:04I mean, what do you think you are?
00:42:05Mike Wallace or Howard Gosell or something, huh?
00:42:07Uh, are you aware of the photograph
00:42:09of which I speak?
00:42:10I have no idea of what you are talking about.
00:42:12Do you have that photograph with you?
00:42:13No.
00:42:14Oh, sure.
00:42:15Uh, but I do know where it can be found.
00:42:17Uh, yeah, well, this is the worst example
00:42:18of shoddy journalism I have ever seen.
00:42:20Well, I don't know.
00:42:21I thought it was a pretty good example
00:42:22of shoddy journalism.
00:42:23No further comment, thank you.
00:42:25Uh, no, Mr. Rudder, we're not quite through.
00:42:27We have a few more questions.
00:42:28Uh, we have just a few more questions.
00:42:31Uh, Uncle Joseph says it's over.
00:42:32It's over.
00:42:33All we have to do now is wait for his call.
00:42:35We got him this time.
00:42:36Hey, I thought you said you were coming along.
00:42:47These guys don't count.
00:42:49You got the photographs like we agreed?
00:42:51Yeah, but there's something I want you to understand.
00:42:53Two things.
00:42:53I want the photo,
00:42:54and I want you to tell that lady journalist
00:42:55that photo was a phony.
00:42:56You can have it,
00:42:57but you got to promise
00:42:59that you'll leave this arcade alone
00:43:00and that you'll drop those stupid charges.
00:43:03I promised you that on the phone, didn't I?
00:43:05Now, where's the photo?
00:43:05It's right over here behind the ball.
00:43:07Hey, hey, these guys are a little impatient, aren't they?
00:43:10Well, I want that photograph.
00:43:14Okay, now, here's what you're looking for,
00:43:15but, uh,
00:43:16first I want you to sign a simple agreement.
00:43:19Here, it's nothing complicated.
00:43:20It just simply reaffirms our understanding.
00:43:24I gave you my word.
00:43:25I'm sorry, Rudder,
00:43:26but that's just not quite good enough.
00:43:28You got the photograph?
00:43:33All right, fine, let's go.
00:43:37Hold on!
00:43:42Let's go.
00:43:43Excuse me.
00:43:53Excuse me, all demonstrators.
00:43:54If you come up here
00:43:55and turn in your picket signs,
00:43:56you'll get one free token.
00:43:58That's right, right up here by the snack bar.
00:43:59Come on.
00:44:00Close the arcade!
00:44:02Close the arcade!
00:44:08What's going on here?
00:44:10Where are the demonstrators?
00:44:11It's not our fault, Uncle Joseph.
00:44:13Yeah, Uncle Joseph.
00:44:14We've been outsmarted.
00:44:16This is our place.
00:44:18What are all these old dudes doing here,
00:44:19hanging out, taking up all our games?
00:44:21This place is open to the public.
00:44:24I can't determine who comes in here and plays these games.
00:44:26How could you let this happen?
00:44:29Oh, man, you sold out.
00:44:31You really sold out to the max, man.
00:44:33Okay, idiot, out of here right now.
00:44:35Hey, you don't have to tell us to leave.
00:44:37We're on our way out of here anyway.
00:44:38We don't want to hang in your crummy joint.
00:44:40Hey, come on.
00:44:45Come on.
00:44:51All right, get me.
00:44:53Yeah, what do you want?
00:44:54All right, could you take me to your leader?
00:44:59The name's King Vidiot.
00:45:01These are my subjects.
00:45:03Hey, uh,
00:45:04have you got a sister?
00:45:05Me? No.
00:45:06No, I...
00:45:06It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Vidiot, my card.
00:45:12Not impressed.
00:45:13Well, that's too bad,
00:45:14because I think we're on the same side.
00:45:17However, if you decide you need help
00:45:19with our young friend, Mr. Bailey, in there,
00:45:21give me a call.
00:45:22What the hell are you doing here?
00:45:30You said you wanted to talk.
00:45:31I'm in my office.
00:45:32I don't like offices.
00:45:33Why didn't you use a door?
00:45:35I don't like doors.
00:45:36Very well, Mr. Vidiot, have a seat.
00:45:38I don't like seats.
00:45:42And that's another thing.
00:45:44The name is King Vidiot,
00:45:47not Mr. Vidiot.
00:45:50You can call me your highness if you like.
00:45:52You and I have something in common.
00:45:54Do you know what that is?
00:45:55We both like to hang out in public bathrooms.
00:46:01No.
00:46:02We both hate that arcade.
00:46:04Wait a minute, man.
00:46:06I love the arcade.
00:46:08Then let me put it another way.
00:46:09We both hate Jefferson Bailey.
00:46:11Now, I saw him kick you out of there last night,
00:46:13and if you're half the leader, I think you are.
00:46:15I am half the leader.
00:46:16You think I am?
00:46:17You'd like some revenge?
00:46:20Yeah.
00:46:22Revenge.
00:46:23Sure.
00:46:25Revenge.
00:46:36Revenge.
00:46:37He's sweet.
00:46:41I'll tell you what.
00:46:43You help me force Jefferson Bailey out of business,
00:46:45and I'll buy you your own video game.
00:46:52If you're dying, I'm not going to give you mouth to mouth.
00:46:59You mean my very own machine?
00:47:01Yeah.
00:47:02Nobody else can touch it?
00:47:03No.
00:47:05What do I got to do?
00:47:06Well, I want a major disturbance at the arcade.
00:47:10Oh, we're bad.
00:47:11We do that all the time.
00:47:12Yeah, but I want a special one.
00:47:13I've got to force the mayor to move.
00:47:15Oh, yeah.
00:47:16Yeah, like, uh, like, uh, uh, uh, breaking some bones.
00:47:22Oh, yeah.
00:47:24Revenge.
00:47:26Oh, man.
00:47:27What if we was to have some wheels?
00:47:32Some wheels?
00:47:33Yeah.
00:47:36Wheels.
00:47:37Wheels.
00:47:48Wheels.
00:47:59Wheels.
00:48:01Wheels.
00:48:02Where's the air?
00:48:04Go ahead, listen.
00:48:07Let me fly away.
00:48:10Somebody free, the canary.
00:48:13Somebody free, the canary.
00:48:18Hello, operator. Quick, give me the police.
00:48:26This is an emergency.
00:48:27This is Alexis Wheeler reporting to you from the video arcade
00:48:30where violence has just erupted.
00:48:32Mr. Rudder, were you a witness to what happened here today?
00:48:37I have nothing to say to you.
00:48:39Unless, of course, you're here to apologize for your scurrilous accusations.
00:48:42I have nothing to apologize about.
00:48:44But I will admit that with the violence here today,
00:48:46the mayor is going to really have a problem with everything that's been going on.
00:48:49Thanks for the wheels, man.
00:48:51Hi, Mom.
00:48:53What did that young man mean?
00:48:54I have no idea. He's just another one of these lunatics from this asylum.
00:48:58What did you start to say about the mayor?
00:48:59I was only suggesting that the mayor will more than likely want to call a meeting to discuss everything that's been going on.
00:49:03You heard it, folks? Straight from Alexis Wheeler.
00:49:04The mayor is calling a special emergency meeting to shut this video arcade down.
00:49:08I never said such a thing.
00:49:09I never...
00:49:10Give me back my microphone.
00:49:11There will be order in this room.
00:49:18That's better.
00:49:19Now proceed with the opening statements, Mr. Rudder.
00:49:23Mr. Mayor.
00:49:24Councilman, concerned parents, children.
00:49:27Mr. Rudder, would you go ahead?
00:49:45Thank you, Mr. Mayor.
00:49:47As you know, we are here to extinguish the filth and the decadence
00:49:51that is commonly referred to as video game entertainment.
00:49:54Fortunately, here in River City, the problem is isolated, though no less threatening.
00:50:01The trouble right here in River City is Bailey's video arcade.
00:50:04Yeah.
00:50:04All right, boys.
00:50:05Yeah.
00:50:08Yeah.
00:50:09Mr. Bailey, do you care to make some opening remarks?
00:50:15You mean, other than to say that the honorable Mr. Joseph Rudder is full of shit?
00:50:22What's the deal?
00:50:25What are some of the signs of this video madness?
00:50:29What should a concerned parent look for?
00:50:31A large semicircle of calluses here along the ridge between the thumb and the forefinger.
00:50:37One should also look for Pac-Man arthritis or the Blinky syndrome,
00:50:41which manifests itself in the lower forearm and wrist of the playing hand,
00:50:46the hand that holds the, uh, joy stick.
00:50:53Is there anything else you have observed?
00:50:59Germs.
00:51:00Germs, Nurse Tubbett?
00:51:02The kids play with their joy sticks day in and day out,
00:51:05jerking back and forth, sweating on them,
00:51:08and they don't even clean them off when they're through.
00:51:10Their joy sticks are a hotbed of germs.
00:51:13Germs!
00:51:14Germs!
00:51:17Well, as it turns out,
00:51:19most of my boys are spending all their time at these damn video games.
00:51:23Why, they're addicted to them.
00:51:24It's worse than dope or booze or even women.
00:51:28And it takes their drive away, like self-abuse.
00:51:32If you were to summarize the effect the video arcade has had on you,
00:51:37what would you say?
00:51:39Oh, you mean like in, uh, 25 words or less?
00:51:41Uh, uh, the video arcade has made me what I am today.
00:51:50What's the matter?
00:51:52That was less than 25 words.
00:51:54I hoped to convey the very specific, easily discernible damages done by the video arcade.
00:52:03I would be remiss in my responsibilities as spokesman for this cause
00:52:06without trying to express to you the frightfully immoral nature of the arcade ambience itself.
00:52:12As soon as you walk through the door,
00:52:15you are hit by the stench for the filth that covers the premises.
00:52:21She's 16.
00:52:22She's beautiful.
00:52:22She's ready for action.
00:52:24What am I feeling?
00:52:25Oh, job, job.
00:52:26My body is mega-entrenched, but restless and abandoned to be as one of you.
00:52:30I'm sorry, Patsy.
00:52:31I'm busy.
00:52:32You have to go elsewhere for your sexual gratification.
00:52:35Oh, job.
00:52:36The line is always so awesome.
00:52:38Go.
00:52:39Oh, baby, baby, baby.
00:52:42Oh, job.
00:52:44Oh, job.
00:52:45Oh, job.
00:52:47Oh, job.
00:52:49Oh, job.
00:52:50Oh, job.
00:52:52Oh, job.
00:52:53Oh, way.
00:52:54He said 15 minutes, but it's always longer.
00:52:57This is my fourth time today, and I'm going for a heaping dozen.
00:53:00Oh, job.
00:53:01Number 69.
00:53:03Number 69.
00:53:05You know the rules, Candy.
00:53:08I do the touching.
00:53:10Hey, buddy.
00:53:11Hey, buddy.
00:53:13Hey, buddy.
00:53:14Hey, buddy.
00:53:15Hey, buddy.
00:53:16Hey, buddy.
00:53:17Hey, buddy.
00:53:18Hey, buddy.
00:53:19Here.
00:53:20Yeah, whoosh.
00:53:21Come on there.
00:53:22Come on there.
00:53:23Come on here.
00:53:25Come on, come on.
00:53:26Come on.
00:53:27Come on, please.
00:53:28Come on.
00:53:29Moving on here.
00:53:30Oh, yeah.
00:53:31Come on.
00:53:32Oh, boy.
00:53:33Come on.
00:53:34Oh, boy, no.
00:53:35Hey, buddy.
00:53:36If my boy come on you, uh, you, uh.
00:53:37And so, in conclusion, I hope you can all see the urgent need to close this place down as quickly and as efficiently as possible.
00:53:54Now, I have listened very carefully to Mr. Rudder, as I'm sure most of us have.
00:53:59Now, I would like to tell you the truth, that the video arcade is quite a different place than what my esteemed opponent has described.
00:54:07Children of all ages are welcome at the video arcade.
00:54:11And now, today, class, we will continue our lesson in computer science.
00:54:15Mr. Bailey, I want you to know that your lessons have been very instrumental in getting me into college.
00:54:21That's right, sir, especially your lessons on your private computer.
00:54:28I like milk. It's very nutritious.
00:54:32I'm drinking milk for good.
00:54:37Oh, I'm sorry, Eugene.
00:54:43I accidentally rubbed my breast up against you.
00:54:47No harm done, Candy.
00:54:52Dr. Dorfus, these are excellent hit dogs in bins.
00:54:56The best I've ever had.
00:54:57Thank you, Your Holiness, but it's hot dog and beans.
00:55:00Yes, of course.
00:55:01Dr. Dorfus, do you smell something?
00:55:08Why, no, Your Holiness, I do not.
00:55:11Well, never mind.
00:55:13Remember, Your Holiness, the words of the Apostle Paul,
00:55:16he who smelt it first hath dealt it first.
00:55:19Yes, that is as it should be.
00:55:21I would be wholly remiss in my duties if I didn't call one very special witness to the stand.
00:55:32That is, of course, if I have the approval of Mr. Runner.
00:55:37It's a free country.
00:55:38Patsy Runner.
00:55:40Now, in your own words, would you please tell the council how you feel about the video arcade?
00:55:53Okay, like, where are we supposed to go?
00:55:56Sure, there's the gallery off, and there's, like, going to the movies and everything,
00:56:00or going to 7-11 after school for stuff, but, like, that's totally it.
00:56:04Well, John Bailey's video arcade is the only place to go for good clean fun.
00:56:11Good clean fun?
00:56:12My God!
00:56:12Patsy!
00:56:13Patsy!
00:56:13Let the good clean about that place and slam it here!
00:56:16Unadulterated slamming!
00:56:18Immoralist slam!
00:56:20Slime!
00:56:21What?
00:56:26Well, thank you, Mr. Rudder, for very nicely leading me into my next point about immorality as we see it today.
00:56:34Ladies and gentlemen, as a way of clearing up Mr. Rudder's definition of immoral slime,
00:56:42watch this!
00:56:54Max, you said you got that photo!
00:56:57I did it, you're there!
00:56:57May I please have Eugene's photograph?
00:57:10And in conclusion, as for the video arcade being a threat to the community,
00:57:15I'll tell you that until my grandfather and I opened the arcade,
00:57:20these kids never felt that they belonged to a community at all.
00:57:26At the arcade, the kids belong.
00:57:29Please, my God!
00:57:30Yeah!
00:57:31Yeah!
00:57:34Wow!
00:57:37That's fine.
00:57:38What is he doing?
00:57:38What is he doing?
00:57:39Oh, what is he doing?
00:57:39You're a person around that?
00:57:40I don't know.
00:57:40My dear honor, no city ordinance has been broken.
00:57:44I don't see who could possibly come to this arcade.
00:57:46No.
00:57:47This council of River City concludes that no laws have been broken at the arcade,
00:57:53so we can find no evidence to warrant it's closing.
00:58:03As long as you don't break any laws.
00:58:07Let's get the hell out of here.
00:58:11That's it.
00:58:13You best go home now, darling.
00:58:17Well, congratulations, young Mr. Bailey.
00:58:19You did quite well in here.
00:58:21Well, thank you, Rudder.
00:58:22That's very sportsmanlike of it.
00:58:24Suppose you think you've got this thing won, huh?
00:58:26You heard what the mayor said.
00:58:27As long as we keep things within the law.
00:58:29Well, I suppose you'd be interested to see what my two nephews here
00:58:32found in the kitchen of your snack bar.
00:58:34You're just not going to give up, are you, Rudder?
00:58:38Well, you son of a...
00:58:39No, no, just wait a minute.
00:58:40What?
00:58:42Um, well, I just had an idea, that's all.
00:58:45I thought that maybe we could settle this like gentlemen.
00:58:47What, are you crazy, Eugene?
00:58:49I have to handle something wrong.
00:58:50It's just the last time we had a disagreement,
00:58:52we played a game at the arcade,
00:58:54and the winner of the game decides.
00:58:58This little wimp speaks for you.
00:58:59Yeah, this little wimp speaks for me.
00:59:00And I challenge you to a game.
00:59:02My man against any man you choose.
00:59:05If you win, I'll close the arcade down.
00:59:08But if I win, you leave the arcade the hell alone.
00:59:12You know, my man is Highness King Vigiot.
00:59:16Yeah, and my man is Jonathan MacDorphis.
00:59:19Okay.
00:59:20This time, we play my game.
00:59:23Super Pack.
00:59:25Piece of cake.
00:59:26Well, let's all settle then.
00:59:39Shall we say, uh, nine o'clock in the morning?
00:59:40Give me a lemon runner!
00:59:42I gotta eat my breakfast first!
00:59:44Okay, calm down, man.
00:59:45You're in training.
00:59:46No two.
00:59:47All right, you two know what to do now, huh?
00:59:51You sure you know where that slob kid lives?
00:59:52Well, well, kid.
00:59:58What do you say, huh?
00:59:59Where's your man?
01:00:00Dorfus?
01:00:01He's around.
01:00:01No, he's not around.
01:00:03Excuse me, sir.
01:00:04Private conversation.
01:00:05You bet.
01:00:05Sure.
01:00:05He's not at home.
01:00:06And the guy at the hot dog stand next door hasn't seen him since last night.
01:00:10Not since last night?
01:00:11No.
01:00:11Your Highness, I'll tell you what, kid.
01:00:13It's put up a shut-up time.
01:00:14You gonna barf it?
01:00:15No, I am.
01:00:15I'll just choose someone else to play.
01:00:17I'll tell you what, Bailey.
01:00:19You're so smart, I'll play you.
01:00:21No, that's not the deal.
01:00:22That's right.
01:00:22Besides, idiot, you know I never play these games.
01:00:25Never play these games?
01:00:26Sure, you never play these games.
01:00:27That's right.
01:00:28So it wouldn't be fair.
01:00:29So I'll just choose someone else to play.
01:00:30See shit, Lee.
01:00:31No.
01:00:32Everybody knows Bailey doesn't play video games.
01:00:35It's a regular chicken.
01:00:39I'll tell you what, Bailey.
01:00:40Let's sweeten the pot a little bit here, huh?
01:00:41I'll let you play, but you've got to promise that if you lose this match,
01:00:45you'll not only shut this arcade down,
01:00:46you'll never open another arcade here in River City, huh?
01:00:48All right.
01:00:53You've got it.
01:00:54But you've got to give me 15 minutes.
01:00:56You've got it.
01:00:58I think there's something I should tell you.
01:01:03Yeah?
01:01:04Well, you know the reason why I never play these games?
01:01:08No.
01:01:08Well, they make me physically ill.
01:01:12What?
01:01:13Yeah.
01:01:14I mean, every time I look into one of those screens, I get dizzy.
01:01:18John?
01:01:19Are you okay?
01:01:20Yeah.
01:01:20I mean, you look a little weird.
01:01:22No.
01:01:22No, I'm fine.
01:01:23I'm fine.
01:01:23It's cool.
01:01:23Thanks.
01:01:24Aw.
01:01:25Jeff, you must be shitting me.
01:01:27No, Eugene.
01:01:28I wouldn't shit you at a time like this.
01:01:33But why?
01:01:34Why, Jeff?
01:01:35Why do you get so dizzy?
01:01:37I know.
01:01:38I'll run and get some Dramamine.
01:01:40Eugene, that is not going to help.
01:01:41I guess I better tell you the whole story.
01:01:46It all started, Eugene, because I love video games.
01:01:50And I guess that's why Dorfus and I became so close.
01:01:54I mean, we'd play each other, and sometimes he'd win, and sometimes I'd win, and...
01:01:59Gosh, you must be really good.
01:02:02I was, Eugene.
01:02:03Was.
01:02:05Anyhow, about six months ago, I convinced my grandfather to turn the warehouse into the
01:02:11arcade, and we had a fantastic grand opening.
01:02:16And after we were closed, my girlfriend and I, Sandy, well, we kind of hung around a while,
01:02:21you know, and...
01:02:22God, it was wonderful, Eugene.
01:02:25We were so in love.
01:02:27What happened then?
01:02:29They moved out of town, and I haven't seen her since.
01:02:31And now, every time I look into one of those screens, I see the reflection of her father.
01:02:38And I haven't played those games since.
01:02:41I'll help you, Jeff.
01:02:43You gotta come through this.
01:02:44Everybody out there's depending on you.
01:02:47You gonna help me, Eugene?
01:02:48You can count on me, Jeff.
01:02:49Make sure these three monsters are found on moving four and three and energize.
01:02:57You only have a limited number.
01:02:58Use them sparingly with the maximum point of potential.
01:03:01The energizer's hard to Pac-Man what spinach is to Popeye.
01:03:04Never hesitate moving the Pac-Man.
01:03:06Hesitation can be more formal heavy than the monsters.
01:03:09Courage is one of four ways to stop hesitation.
01:03:12The other three are practice, practice, practice.
01:03:15Come on, Jeff.
01:03:16Do it.
01:03:16You can do it.
01:03:17Just look at it.
01:03:18Eugene, I know you're trying, but I can't.
01:03:20I don't think I can do it.
01:03:22This is the grandfather of all Pac-Man games.
01:03:24This is where it all started.
01:03:26No, you've gotta do it.
01:03:27You don't have much time.
01:03:34What happened?
01:03:35Nothing.
01:03:35Where was I?
01:03:36It's time to go to the joystick.
01:03:37Oh, no, Eugene.
01:03:38I don't think I can do it.
01:03:39Come on, Bailey.
01:03:39Get up there and do it.
01:03:41Come on.
01:03:42It's got a maze in the way.
01:03:42Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:03:43Oh, man.
01:03:44It's the same thing as a maze.
01:03:45Go, man.
01:03:46Let's it up.
01:03:46No, God.
01:03:47Faster, faster.
01:03:48Get out of here.
01:03:49We'll get to the man.
01:03:50Perfect.
01:03:51Go.
01:03:51It's just like someone's back.
01:03:53Except she's just your key guard.
01:03:54Go.
01:03:55Okay, Eugene.
01:03:56It's coming back.
01:03:57Yeah.
01:03:58Okay.
01:03:59I feel it.
01:04:00Dodge, dodge, dodge, dodge.
01:04:02Yeah.
01:04:05The moe's working, Eugene.
01:04:08Yeah.
01:04:10Yeah.
01:04:11Yeah.
01:04:11Yeah.
01:04:12Yeah.
01:04:13Okay, Eugene.
01:04:14You got it, go.
01:04:15You got it, Eugene.
01:04:16Come on, I got it.
01:04:17We got it, we got it, we got it.
01:04:19Go, go.
01:04:20Go.
01:04:24Yeah.
01:04:24Yeah.
01:04:25All right.
01:04:26Okay, Eugene.
01:04:27All right, Eugene.
01:04:28I got the moment.
01:04:29The big moe.
01:04:29The big moe is working.
01:04:31All right.
01:04:31All right.
01:04:32All right.
01:04:33Idiot, I am ready.
01:04:36You had better be here.
01:04:38Okay, if everyone would, like, just bag the noise, okay, like we could do this.
01:04:42Okay.
01:04:43Players, on their marks, get set, start, game.
01:04:48Come on, Jeff.
01:04:49Come on, Jeff.
01:04:49Come on, Jeff.
01:04:50Let's go.
01:04:51Come on.
01:04:51Come on.
01:04:52Get that power pedal.
01:04:52Come on.
01:04:53Ha!
01:04:54Ain't nothing going to save you now, Bailey.
01:04:57Come on, Jeff.
01:04:58Concentrate.
01:04:59Big moe.
01:04:59Big moe.
01:05:00Come on, help me, please.
01:05:01Come on.
01:05:02What do you want?
01:05:03Oh, no.
01:05:03No.
01:05:04Oh, no, this can't be happening.
01:05:06This can't be happening.
01:05:07God, what am I doing?
01:05:08What am I doing?
01:05:08Help me.
01:05:14Find Dorfus.
01:05:20Oh, God.
01:05:21Uncle Joe's...
01:05:22Uncle Joe's gonna freak.
01:05:23Oh, God.
01:05:26Max, you know?
01:05:27Mm-hmm.
01:05:28I smell something fishy.
01:05:30Okay.
01:05:31Oh, my God.
01:05:31This shit head's not going anywhere.
01:05:33Why don't you and me go down to the arcade and see if everything's all right with Uncle Joe.
01:05:39Oh, yeah.
01:05:39We're not on the table.
01:05:41Hey, Thomas.
01:05:42What's that over there?
01:05:43Yeah.
01:05:44And, uh, why is he, uh, why is he going after me like that?
01:05:47Uh, he's a big guy.
01:05:50Hey!
01:05:51Hey!
01:05:52Al, what are you doing?
01:05:54Get out of here.
01:05:55Oh, my God.
01:05:56My prayers have been answered.
01:06:12And, uh, you know, you're very...
01:06:16Oh, God.
01:06:20Oh, take me.
01:06:22Take all of me.
01:06:23Woo-hoo.
01:06:24Oh, my God.
01:06:25It's me.
01:06:25Oh, my God.
01:06:27Oh, my God.
01:06:27Man, this is cake.
01:06:29Oh, my God.
01:06:32Jeff, I can't find him anywhere.
01:06:33But don't worry.
01:06:34Just remember, it's a big mole.
01:06:37Help.
01:06:38Help.
01:06:38Come on.
01:06:41Come on.
01:06:45Donuts.
01:06:45Donuts.
01:06:46Give me a...
01:06:46What?
01:06:47Ain't no one gonna help you now, Jeff.
01:06:49That's all right.
01:06:50Forget about it, Cash.
01:06:51Just concentrate now.
01:06:52Do it now.
01:07:05Jeff, the mayor.
01:07:06Oh, shit.
01:07:07Okay, Eugene, you're the new assistant manager.
01:07:11I want you to go talk to him, PR him, schmooze him.
01:07:14Okay.
01:07:14Do it.
01:07:20Mayor Neville.
01:07:21Hi.
01:07:22I'm Eugene Groby, the assistant manager here at the establishment.
01:07:26See?
01:07:26Yeah, can I help you?
01:07:27Oh, no, thank you, Eugene.
01:07:29I just thought I'd come down here and have a cordial look around for myself.
01:07:33Uh-huh, yes.
01:07:34Well, then as a way of making you feel welcome, can I present you with some complimentary tokens
01:07:38so you can play the games?
01:07:40Oh, these games?
01:07:41Can we play these games?
01:07:42No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:07:43I don't think so, Eugene.
01:07:44Oh, come on.
01:07:45Give it a try.
01:07:46You're only young ones.
01:07:46Uh-huh.
01:07:47Hey, there.
01:07:47Play Gour.
01:07:48It's easy.
01:07:50Here's your token.
01:07:51Uh, what's that for?
01:07:53Well, we use those instead of quarters.
01:07:54Put it in the slot right there.
01:07:57Uh-huh.
01:07:57Now what do I do?
01:07:58Oh, press start.
01:08:00Press start.
01:08:02And try and not get blasted by these ships.
01:08:04Uh-huh.
01:08:07What happened?
01:08:09You got blasted by these ships.
01:08:11Oh, I did, did I?
01:08:13Well, they can't do that to me.
01:08:14We'll just see about that.
01:08:16Let me try again.
01:08:17What do I do?
01:08:18Hold on to the joystick there.
01:08:20That's it.
01:08:21And then just dodge.
01:08:22Yeah, yeah.
01:08:22Now, with your index finger, you can shoot.
01:08:24And yeah, there you go.
01:08:26All right.
01:08:26You got the idea.
01:08:35Come on.
01:08:36Come on.
01:08:37Oh, please help me.
01:08:38Come on.
01:08:38You can do it.
01:08:40What's the matter, Bailey?
01:08:43Come on.
01:08:44Come on.
01:08:48If you'll untie me, we can prepare for a marathon experience.
01:08:56It's unlike anything you've had before.
01:09:00This is unlike anything I've had before?
01:09:04Yes, yes.
01:09:05But what I'm talking about is your wildest fantasies come to life.
01:09:11Oh.
01:09:13Yes.
01:09:13We'll meet again tonight.
01:09:15Oh.
01:09:15And I will have other young, strong bodies with me.
01:09:21Oh.
01:09:21Yes, and even, even some, I know you're not going to believe this, better than I.
01:09:28Better than you?
01:09:29Yes.
01:09:29Yes.
01:09:30Yes, there, there are some out there.
01:09:33A few, a few, but, but they're there.
01:09:36And they'll be with me tonight.
01:09:37Oh.
01:09:56Hey, hey.
01:10:19Turn out the lights, the party's over.
01:10:22You about ready to call it quits, Sir Bailey, boy?
01:10:25It's not over yet, brother.
01:10:27Come on, Jeff. Concentrate.
01:10:30Hey, you last man. Looks like liquidation time to me.
01:10:34Yeah, give that boy a barf back.
01:10:38Oh, the clovers, the clovers.
01:10:44Hey, I want you to face up to it, pal. You're a loser.
01:10:47Come on, Jeff. Come on, let's do it, let's do it.
01:10:50Come on, talk it into the key.
01:10:52Hey, King Vidiot. Might as well put it in bed, huh?
01:10:55You done whooped in royally.
01:10:57Royally.
01:11:02Good game, baby.
01:11:03Vidiot's quitting. He stopped playing.
01:11:05That'll all be over in a second, anyway.
01:11:07Video, video, video, video, video games.
01:11:17Your wife has a lovely bathroom.
01:11:19What?
01:11:20Okay, come on. All right, come on.
01:11:22All right, Dorfus.
01:11:23Yeah.
01:11:24No, no, no.
01:11:25Wait, Dorfus, before you take over, there's something you should know.
01:11:28The reason Jeff doesn't play games.
01:11:30What do you mean about Sandy?
01:11:31So what?
01:11:32Well, it's just that I thought you were his friend, that's all.
01:11:34Come on, you guys.
01:11:35We can discuss this later now.
01:11:36Dorfus, help.
01:11:37Help.
01:11:38I am Jeff's friend.
01:11:39What?
01:11:40Don't you want me to save the arcade?
01:11:41Of course I do, but I just think it's more important that we make Jeff face his problems.
01:11:45If you take over now, he may be scarred for life.
01:11:48Dorfus, he's got to do it himself.
01:11:50Eugene, not now, please.
01:11:52Lady, naturally, baby, baby, baby.
01:11:53She doesn't care for you, baby.
01:11:54Let me know.
01:11:55She doesn't care for you, baby.
01:11:56Now, please.
01:11:57Jeff, your jean's right.
01:11:58And you…
01:11:59You, you…
01:12:00you…
01:12:01You gotta face up with this.
01:12:02You gotta quit hiding from this.
01:12:03I know you can do it, man.
01:12:04Go for it!
01:12:05Huh!
01:12:06Go for it, Jeff!
01:12:07Go for it, Jeff!
01:12:08All right.
01:12:09Go.
01:12:10Crane eyes, quick hands,
01:12:13All right, go.
01:12:14My soul again,
01:12:16Go and see my name of light.
01:12:19All right, go.
01:12:20With my George King
01:12:21Oh, oh, oh, yeah
01:12:23Way to left, jerk it right
01:12:25Need a pair of this
01:12:26Hell, right there inside
01:12:28Shoot fast, shoot straight
01:12:32Video to the max
01:12:35One now
01:12:36To the more
01:12:38There's no way he's gonna catch up
01:12:42No way, no way
01:12:43What mistaken is that?
01:12:45Why'd you kill off your last man's arms?
01:12:47You never do that till you've definitely won
01:12:49You called me, sir
01:12:50You're supposed to be the expert
01:12:53No, wait, oh, God
01:12:55No, wait
01:12:56Does that mean I don't get my own video game?
01:13:00Oh, no, no
01:13:02This is a violation, it's wrong
01:13:05It ain't changed
01:13:05Get down
01:13:10Everything's under control, but Joseph, don't worry
01:13:14Neville?
01:13:16Neville, you gonna lie this video managed to go on?
01:13:19Oh, I've run out of tokens
01:13:20Uh, brother, give me a token
01:13:21This race is a health finish
01:13:23I got photographic proof of violent
01:13:25Health violence violations
01:13:27Oh, for all of your ass, brother
01:13:29This is a great place
01:13:30Really a great place
01:13:31This way, you're gonna get me a token or archer
01:13:33Oh, no, no, no, no
01:13:34Oh, no, no, no, no
01:13:35Video!
01:13:36Joystick, you got another corner
01:13:38Video!
01:13:39Joystick, please let me have a corner
01:13:41Video!
01:13:42Joystick, you got another corner
01:13:45Totally awesome
01:13:47Video!
01:13:48Yes!
01:13:49Yes!
01:13:50I told you, it's your fault, it's not mine now.
01:14:04Oh, God, look at this.
01:14:07Oh, bless you, my dear.
01:14:09Is this my daddy, Mr. Runner?
01:14:11Cheek video art can destroy of the cats passing out
01:14:14like a gel-bride box around there?
01:14:16Does this mean we don't get the video machines for the tent?
01:14:19Why can't my daddy be like everybody else's and stay home in barbecue?
01:14:22Matt!
01:14:24I have not yet begun to fight!
01:14:26I think Uncle Joe's near!
01:14:32All right, all right, everybody,
01:14:34all the tokens are on the house.
01:14:36Eugene, get them all free tokens!
01:14:46Grandpa George!
01:14:49Jeff!
01:14:50You're back!
01:14:51Oh, Grandpa, you missed it!
01:14:52I was able to play again, it was so great!
01:14:54Oh, that's wonderful, Jeff!
01:14:56That's wonderful!
01:14:57And I got more wonderfulness for you!
01:14:59I've been looking for a friend of yours, and I found it!
01:15:02Sandy!
01:15:03Oh, young people should be together, don't you think?
01:15:18Oh, yes, sir.
01:15:19I certainly...
01:15:20Ooh!
01:15:21Hi!
01:15:22Darfus!
01:15:23You tell your young friend here that this here earth belongs to me!
01:15:27Whoa!
01:15:28But, Grandpa George, you see, Eugene's got a special kind of problem!
01:15:33Oh, hell, that's obvious!
01:15:35Somebody's got to get this boy laid!
01:15:42Hold this to me!
01:15:47Okay, Eugene, you're on your own.
01:15:50Aren't you guys gonna come in with me?
01:15:51No, it's best if you experience it yourself.
01:15:53It'll have more meaning for you that way, Eugene.
01:15:58Get up!
01:15:59Psych up!
01:16:00Right on, cowboy!
01:16:05Hi!
01:16:09Hello there, big boy!
01:16:11Mrs. Rudder.
01:16:12Um...
01:16:13I'm Eugene Groby.
01:16:15And, um...
01:16:16I'd like you to meet Simba.
01:16:21What do you want to do?
01:16:22What do you want to do?
01:16:23It's our last chance for last year!
01:16:24For your life!
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