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00:004 years of film school for this shit.
00:28Yep, $200,000 in debt and now you get to film another shitty pilot presentation for another fucking house flipping show.
00:41God, what a fucking loser.
00:44Kill me.
00:58Hello?
01:04Hello?
01:16You're too late.
01:17I already sold it.
01:20You scared me.
01:21There's no reason to be scared. There's always another home right around the corner, just waiting to be flipped.
01:27I'm Tripp Engold and you must be Wes.
01:31Yes.
01:32Look at you.
01:36Yeah.
01:38You got a really good energy about you, but you seem like a real professional.
01:42Oh, right. Uh, yes. I, I, uh, I brought my transcript for your request and then also my degree in cinematography.
01:48That's, there's no need. I already called the university and vetted you.
01:51I'm sorry to be such a stickler on the hiring process, but professionalism is very important to me, Wes.
02:00How do you feel about it?
02:02Uh, about what?
02:05Professionalism.
02:08I, I'm, uh, for it.
02:10I think it's the single most important quality a human being can possess.
02:14I think the lack of it is the reason our society has gone off the rails. Don't you agree?
02:19Uh, yeah. Uh, totally.
02:21Of course. Permission to hug?
02:23Okay.
02:24Coming in any, okay.
02:26Okay. I hope you're ready to get going because we are going to make magic.
02:30The first scene for the pilot of the greatest house flipping show ever made, flipped and sold with Tripp Engold.
02:37Okay. Are you rolling?
02:38I'm rolling.
02:39Okay. That's a problem because I know you're not rolling. I know this camera and when it's rolling, the red light is beeping and it's not beeping right now, Wes.
02:45Uh, no, no.
02:46You're not rolling, Wes! Look, look, look.
02:49I'm rolling. Look, the red light is on. Just take a look.
02:51You're lying. You're lying to me.
02:52I swear. Take a look at it.
02:54Man.
02:58I don't see it.
03:01I don't.
03:04I got you. I got you.
03:06Yeah, I know. You got me.
03:08Professionalism, Wes. The single most important quality followed closely by a good sense of humor.
03:15Okay.
03:17You're all right, Wes.
03:18I think this is gonna be a good day.
03:20I think this is gonna be a good day.
03:48You know, you did a really great job filming that intro back there, Wes.
03:58Oh, uh, thanks, man.
04:00Oh, 100%. Total pro.
04:02Are you gonna tell me how I did?
04:11Um, I, I thought you were great.
04:14Really?
04:15Yeah.
04:16Sure.
04:17That means so much coming from you.
04:18I, I really wanna get this right.
04:19So many of these house flipping shows, they're just janky, you know?
04:23And, and not just the filmmaking, the flips themselves.
04:25They're, they're downright unethical, you know?
04:27They ignore the fundamental issues of the homes.
04:29The, the plumbing, the, the electrical.
04:31And they think, what?
04:32Cause you just slap some 22 cent subway tile on it that it's a good flip?
04:35I don't think so.
04:36I don't think so.
04:37Yeah.
04:38Uh, yeah, totally.
04:39Yeah, you get it, man.
04:40You're so great.
04:41So, I think now would be a good time to get some B-roll, you know?
04:44I see this as the second part of the pilot, where some kind of funky music's playing, and
04:49I'm explaining to audiences that we're, we're headed off to a remote section of the woods.
04:54We're gonna see this dilapidated, kind of creepy home, which, spoiler alert, of course
04:59is gonna be somebody's dream home.
05:01But right now, it's like, almost looks like a place you get murdered in, you know?
05:06Uh.
05:07So, yeah, look around.
05:08Get some stuff.
05:09Uh, okay.
05:14That's just some tools of the trade.
05:15I like to carry a shovel to dig into the foundation, make sure it's solid.
05:20Right.
05:21Um, and the, uh, with the plastic tart.
05:27You ask a lot of questions.
05:31Well, like you said, I'm a professional.
05:35Plastic tarp is for some painting we're gonna do.
05:40Also, occasionally find some, uh, dead vermin underneath the house, and plastic's always
05:46good for carrying out bodies.
05:48That makes sense.
05:49Yeah, totally.
05:50Um, yeah.
05:51Um, could you remind me again where we're going?
06:05Yeah, it's just, uh, about 20 minutes up ahead here.
06:07We're getting there.
06:08Right.
06:09Um, what, what, what's the address?
06:11Why do you need the address?
06:12I'm just, uh, curious.
06:15You're a squirmy little bugger.
06:16Look at you.
06:17You're shaking over there.
06:18Yeah, I, I, I think I, I think I need to go to the bathroom.
06:21Oh, well, there's not many rest stops out here.
06:22Not much of anything, but, you know, you can just wait till we get to the house.
06:24I'm, I'm just not, I'm not sure if I could hold it.
06:25Well, it's really close.
06:26You're fine.
06:27Right.
06:28It's, it's, it's number one.
06:29So maybe, maybe you could pull over real quick and I could just, I could just, I could,
06:30No, there's no shoulder on the road.
06:31I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you.
06:32I, I just, I just, I really, I really, really gotta go.
06:34This came on kind of suddenly.
06:35Yeah, man.
06:36I don't know.
06:37I just, uh, I can't, um, I don't know.
06:38Can you, I just, can you pull over please?
06:39No, I can't do it because it's dangerous.
06:40How do you, no, please stop.
06:41I just really gotta go.
06:42How do you open this thing?
06:43Oh, fuck.
06:44Fine.
06:45You gotta go.
06:46You gotta go.
06:47You gotta go.
06:48You gotta go.
06:49You gotta go.
06:50You gotta go.
06:51You gotta go.
06:52You gotta go.
06:53You gotta go.
06:54You gotta go.
06:55You gotta go.
06:56You gotta go.
06:57You gotta go.
06:58I'm not, I'm not sure if I could hold it.
06:59Well, it's really close.
07:00You're fine.
07:01You're fine.
07:02Oh, oh, fuck.
07:03Fine.
07:04You gotta go?
07:05You gotta go.
07:06Whoa!
07:07Not very professional, Wes.
07:12Jesus.
07:15All right.
07:21I'm in trouble.
07:22Sure.
07:27It's a real bummer, Wes.
07:29Not only is this unprofessional, it's downright anticlimactic.
07:40I mean, I spent a lot of time in that house.
07:44It's a house of horrors, the likes of which we haven't seen since the climax of Home Alone 2.
07:54Oh, no.
07:55Please don't tell me.
07:56You're gonna make it this easy.
07:57It's okay.
07:58It's okay.
07:59It's okay.
08:00This is just a little confusing, it's all.
08:01I mean, I'm confused, you know?
08:02It's all happening a lot faster than it normally does.
08:05I mean, part of me wants to stretch it out, you know?
08:07Like, let you run around a little bit.
08:08I could chase you some more.
08:09But also, another part of me is like, this feels kind of sad.
08:14Please, I just...
08:15Yeah.
08:16Yeah.
08:17That's sad.
08:18Yeah.
08:19That's sad.
08:20Yeah.
08:21That's sad.
08:22And how bad are you?
08:23I'm going to focus on.
08:28I just...
08:29And how bad are you?
08:31And how good are you?
08:32God?
08:33I'm not a friend.
08:36He's really a former guy.
08:37Hey.
08:38I'm not a friend.
08:39I'm not a friend.
08:41I'm not a woman.
08:42I'm not a friend.
08:43I'm not a friend.
08:44I'm not a friend.
08:45I'm not a friend.
08:46Please.
08:47Please.
08:48You're making me sound.
08:49I think you can do this all over.
08:55Clean my calendar tomorrow.
08:58Find someone else.
09:00A little more professional.
09:11Oh, my God.
09:12Didn't even come close to using you.
09:15Sorry, PF.
09:16Not your night.
09:19Maybe it's me.
09:23Maybe I'm getting rusty.
09:25It's on to me so quickly.
09:28Too many clues in the back seat, maybe?
09:31I wonder if I put the tarp...
09:35Yeah, just the tarp in the back,
09:37and then save the shovel,
09:39the big reveal at the house.
09:41Might be a...
09:42Yes!
09:59Thank God!
10:00Step away from the car.
10:02Thank God!
10:04Thank God you're here!
10:04Stop, sir, but do not move!
10:06Hands on your head!
10:07Yes!
10:07You got a mark.
10:08Yeah, but look!
10:08Look what happened!
10:09Look!
10:10Look!
10:11Hands on your head!
10:12Yes!
10:13We got a male.
10:1520s.
10:16Unconscious.
10:17He's not unconscious!
10:18He's dead!
10:19It's my sweet lesson.
10:20That man killed him.
10:22Oh, God!
10:24He's in the woods,
10:25and he's getting away!
10:26Get down on the ground!
10:27Right now!
10:28You don't understand!
10:28On the ground!
10:29On the ground!
10:30Now!
10:30Okay, all right, okay, okay.
10:32You guys are great.
10:34You're great,
10:34and you're very in command,
10:35and you're doing a great job,
10:37but you're missing one very important thing.
10:39There is a man,
10:41a killer,
10:41who killed my friend,
10:43and he is in the woods.
10:45Who are you talking about, sir?
10:46I don't know!
10:48Okay.
10:49I'm sorry.
10:50I'm just so stupid.
10:51I don't even get his name.
10:53Tell us what happened step by step, sir.
10:58Okay.
10:59But it's really scary.
11:03There was a man.
11:05He was a bad man,
11:07but he didn't seem like it.
11:08He was a little weird and hyper,
11:11but he seemed harmless,
11:13and he hired me and Wes,
11:15my filmmaking partner,
11:16to film this pilot
11:19for this really
11:20interesting new house-flipping type show,
11:24you know,
11:25and he had a cool take.
11:28It was like
11:28integrity
11:30and professionalism,
11:31and...
11:32Sir, please get to the point.
11:34Yes.
11:35I'm sorry.
11:36It's so...
11:37I feel like I'm in a horror movie.
11:45Is this real?
11:46Are you even real?
11:46Is this real?
11:47No, no, no, no!
11:47Sorry, I'm sorry.
11:48I'm sorry.
11:50He put us in the car,
11:52and he drove us out into these woods,
11:54and there was, like,
11:55all these weird things started happening.
11:58Like, I looked in the back,
11:59and there was a shovel,
12:00and there was a plastic tarp,
12:02and then...
12:04I looked at Wes,
12:05and I was like,
12:06this is weird, right?
12:07And then...
12:08Wes is really smart,
12:10and he was like,
12:11sir, I have to go to the bathroom,
12:12and these guys are like,
12:13no, you can't go to the bathroom.
12:14We're almost to the house.
12:15And Wes is like,
12:15I really have to pee,
12:16and he's like, no.
12:18And so Wes just bolted out of the car,
12:19and he ran in that direction,
12:21and I ran in that direction,
12:22and the guy...
12:24He just chased Wes instead,
12:25and he killed him,
12:26and I feel guilty that I'm alive,
12:30and he's not.
12:33But...
12:33But then I got...
12:35But wait, wait.
12:36I'm not finished.
12:37Hold on.
12:38That's when I got really brave,
12:40and I jumped on his back,
12:42and I whacked him with the shovel,
12:44like, two times really hard,
12:45and he started wobbling.
12:46He was like, get up.
12:47Okay, stop.
12:47Okay, okay, okay.
12:48Stay down.
12:49Stay down.
12:50Right.
12:51But he was wobbling away,
12:53and so I said,
12:54I just got to grab Wes
12:55and put him in the car,
12:56and take him to the police,
12:57and that's when you showed up.
12:59Why didn't you just call us?
13:02Because there's no cell phone.
13:03Get your hands out of your pockets!
13:05Stop yelling at me
13:06like I'm the bad guy.
13:09I'm the good one here.
13:11The bad guy is out in the woods,
13:13and you are wasting your time here with me.
13:14I promise you.
13:15I'll stay here.
13:16I'll be a little well-behaved nugget.
13:18So have you used any substances?
13:20No, I haven't used any substances.
13:22Please, one of you,
13:23I'm begging you,
13:23you or you go in the woods.
13:28He could be out there.
13:31Please.
13:33Go check it out.
13:36Sir, on the ground,
13:38and just wait here.
13:39Yes, okay, I will.
13:41He's wearing a black button-up shirt
13:43and silk black pants.
13:45Well, take care of it, sir.
13:46Make sure you get the right one.
13:48Dispatch.
13:48This is Officer Marr.
13:50I'm out on Old Hutt Road.
13:52I need backup.
13:53We have an incident out here.
13:55About, uh, 50 yards off the turnout.
13:57I'll forgive that for 32.
13:59Thank you so much.
14:01Listen, Officer,
14:01I have a question.
14:03It's totally okay if this is a no,
14:04but my knees are really just barking at me.
14:06Is it okay if I just sit,
14:08like crisscross applesauce?
14:09Sir,
14:10that is...
14:11Oh, thank you so much.
14:13It's fine, sir.
14:13Good at your job,
14:14and kind, too.
14:15I hope your friend's doing okay out there.
14:20This guy is really dangerous.
14:22I mean,
14:22I think he could be an actual serial killer.
14:26The poise,
14:28the charisma.
14:31He's just a real professional.
14:32Please be quiet.
14:34Sorry.
14:39Mm-hmm.
14:39Copy.
14:42Is that backup calling in?
14:45Sorry.
14:47None of my business.
14:50Good thing for backup, though, right?
15:07Did you always know you wanted to be a cop?
15:09That's personal.
15:11I'm sorry.
15:13I'm just curious about the whole process, you know?
15:16It's such an important job.
15:18You've got to be really good at it.
15:20So, do they vet you?
15:21Is it like a really long school?
15:24Can anybody become a cop?
15:27So many people's lives in your hands.
15:30You know, it's like airline pilots, you know?
15:31You're just like,
15:32Okay.
15:34He's flying us around.
15:35I hope he's competent.
15:36I know I'm talking a lot.
15:54Just two more quick things.
15:55First, I'm so sorry I was such a crazy person earlier.
15:59I'm together now.
16:00And secondly, thank you.
16:02Thank you for showing up and being so good at your job.
16:07There's no one out there.
16:08Yeah?
16:09Yeah.
16:10But I did find some blood
16:12and some evidence of a scuffle, for sure.
16:15So, let's not lie about that.
16:17Not lie?
16:18Wait, you think I...
16:19You thought I was lying?
16:21We don't know what happened here, sir.
16:22Sir, all we know is that we found you dragging a dead body
16:25in a sheet of plastic heading towards your car.
16:29It's his car, not my car.
16:32Okay, but you're the only person out here.
16:34And we have a responsibility to go with only the evidence we have.
16:38So, Wes?
16:41Wes!
16:42You're alive!
16:43Easy, easy.
16:44Back away, sir.
16:45Back away.
16:46Sit down.
16:48You okay?
16:49You okay?
16:50You're okay, buddy.
16:51You're okay.
16:51Sir, we need you to be quiet so that we can ask your friend some questions.
16:55Slowly, slowly.
16:55Okay, okay.
16:55Slowly, slowly, look.
16:56Take it slow.
16:57Take it slow.
16:58Okay, sir.
16:58We've got you.
16:58We've got you.
16:59We've got you.
16:59We're helping you up.
17:00We've got you.
17:00Easy breaths.
17:01We've got you.
17:01Easy breaths.
17:02We've got you.
17:03Okay.
17:06Sir, are you okay?
17:08I don't know.
17:10I don't...
17:12Sir, I'm a police officer.
17:14I'm here to help.
17:15I can't...
17:16I'm sorry.
17:17I can't really see you.
17:19I'm...
17:19Who are you?
17:20I'm a police officer.
17:21I'm here to help.
17:23You are?
17:24Yeah.
17:24You are?
17:25Yeah.
17:25Oh, my God.
17:27Oh, my God.
17:31Where is he?
17:31Where is that horrible man?
17:33Which man?
17:34Which man?
17:34Who are you talking about?
17:35The killer, the killer, he's wearing a black button-up shirt with some black pants and he's so fucking evil.
17:44He's so evil.
17:46He said he was a real estate agent and he wanted to make a video for some stupid fucking house show and then he chased me into the woods and then he tried to kill me with a shovel.
17:58Okay, okay.
18:02All right, sir.
18:04Oh, wow.
18:09That's a lot of blood.
18:13Oh, boy.
18:16Oh, shit.
18:16We need to get him to a hospital.
18:17Okay.
18:17All right.
18:18Wait.
18:18Wait.
18:18You're not finished questioning him yet, though.
18:20No, no.
18:21Get him in the hospital.
18:21Get him to the hospital.
18:23Take him in.
18:23Take him in.
18:23I got him.
18:24I got him.
18:24Here we go.
18:25Here we go.
18:25Follow me.
18:26Sir, sir, we need you to back away.
18:27Sir, follow us to the hospital, okay?
18:30Yes, and then we'll continue the questioning.
18:31Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:57Are you serious?
19:04Sir, sir, what are you doing?
19:08Get back in the car.
19:10Follow us directly to the hospital.
19:11I have to talk to you about something.
19:14Get back in your car.
19:17It's going to be a bit uncomfortable, but it's very, very important.
19:20I don't know.
19:20It's your turn, man.
19:21Yeah, we don't have time for this.
19:22Is he kidding me right now?
19:24We have somebody.
19:25I know.
19:25We need to get him to the hospital.
19:26One day.
19:27Go hand him.
19:28I'll go check.
19:29Yeah.
19:30I'll go check.
19:30I have you.
19:30Oh, okay.
19:31I mean, we got to get there.
19:31Yeah, I know we got to get there.
19:33Come on, man.
19:34God damn it.
19:35Sir, what are you doing?
19:37You have to follow us to the hospital.
19:39Yes.
19:39Turn around here so we can turn around and...
19:41No, no, no, no.
19:44I'll be 23 back on the town property case, and I'll be 76 to the Williams Road address to the C-plank.
19:51What I wanted to tell you is that you're incredibly unprofessional.
20:00Very unprofessional!
20:08You guys should not be letting people like me go.
20:13It's so disappointing.
20:14You're supposed to protect us.
20:23I don't know.
20:24Maybe it's me.
20:26Maybe I'm just getting old.
20:30Is excellence not a thing anymore?
20:35It's like all we're shooting for is just a B-minus.
20:43Everybody gets a trophy, you know?
20:44Sure, everybody gets a trophy.
20:48You get a trophy, you get a trophy, everybody gets a trophy.
20:54Oh, that's right.
20:54Uh...
20:55Oh, right.
21:05Yeah.
21:05Yeah.
21:07Turn forwarding out.
21:12I'm here.
21:12Hold on.
21:13I'm on River Street.
21:13Reflect.
21:14You're fine.
21:15On.
21:15That's fine.
21:20I'm going to break on this batch.
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