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BRITCOM 4
  • 8 hours ago

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📺
TV
Transcript
00:00I
01:00Oh, my God.
01:21Oh, my God.
01:23Oh, my God.
01:23Oh, my God.
01:28You had ten minutes alone by yourself down here, and yet you didn't even try to escape.
01:34Oh.
01:36And why is that?
01:40Because you're the greatest person that's ever lived.
01:44No matter how many times I scared you, or threatened you, you still believed that I was good.
01:58And that is why you will always be my favorite of them all.
02:09I did it.
02:22I did it.
02:26I did it.
02:33I did it.
02:35I did it.
02:36I did it.
02:37I did it.
02:38I did it.
02:39I did it.
02:40I did it.
02:41I did it.
02:42I did it.
02:43I did it.
02:44I did it.
02:45I did it.
02:46I did it.
02:47I did it.
02:48I did it.
02:49I did it.
02:50I did it.
02:51I did it.
02:52I did it.
02:53I did it.
02:54I did it.
02:55I did it.
02:56I did it.
02:57I did it.
02:58I did it.
02:59I did it.
03:00They say imitation is the highest form of flattery.
03:15I'm not so sure.
03:30Whoa, major deja vu.
04:00Joanie said it best.
04:03I've looked at life from both sides now.
04:13Good old days.
04:21Cute little lake.
04:25Cute little town.
04:30There it is.
04:36Yellow door.
04:43What is time?
04:48A little moody up here.
04:51Yes.
04:52Little bit ominous.
04:57Should be interesting.
04:58All right.
04:59Let's see.
05:01Wanted.
05:02Someone to fill me for the day.
05:04No questions asked.
05:05Pays one hundred dollars.
05:11A hundred dollars?
05:13Really?
05:14Look, I don't want to judge my little copycat buddy, but it feels a little cheap.
05:22Maybe a little dis-
05:23Hi!
05:25Hi!
05:26Oh my God.
05:27Oh my God.
05:29Oh my God.
05:32This is gonna be a good day.
05:33You have a really nice, kind face.
05:37I've never heard that before.
05:43I'm Joseph.
05:46Your name's Joseph?
05:49Okay.
05:50Uh, my name's Joseph.
05:52You serious?
05:53This is...
05:54Uh, twinsies?
05:55I mean...
05:56Get out of the car.
05:57Come here.
05:58Oh, okay.
05:59Come here.
06:00Right.
06:01What's next, Joseph?
06:02Okay.
06:03I feel like we should do this right now because at the end of the day it's gonna be totally normal.
06:09Oh!
06:10Oh!
06:11Trust me.
06:12It's not gonna be weird at all.
06:18But that's all I get.
06:19I don't think so.
06:20Come on.
06:21Give me a good one.
06:22Oh!
06:24Come on in.
06:25I'm in the bathroom.
06:28Already?
06:29Huh?
06:31You're in the bathroom already?
06:33Yeah.
06:37I know this isn't supposed to be a shot-for-shot remake, but...
06:40Is he really gonna skip the whole My Life setup?
06:45It's an important scene.
06:46I'm sure you're wondering why I brought you all the way out here to film me.
06:53Who's the thing?
06:54I'm not a cancer survivor.
06:55What?
06:56Huh?
06:57I'm sorry.
06:58I can't understand you.
06:59Did you hear anything that I just said?
07:00No.
07:02No.
07:03No.
07:04No.
07:06No.
07:07I'm not a cancer survivor.
07:08No.
07:09No.
07:10No.
07:11No.
07:12I'm not a cancer survivor.
07:13No.
07:15No.
07:16No.
07:17No.
07:18No.
07:19No.
07:20No.
07:21No.
07:22No.
07:23No.
07:24No.
07:25No.
07:26No.
07:27Should I start over?
07:34Look, I'm just a cameraman, but was what you were trying to tell me important?
07:39Yes.
07:41Yeah, then you might...
07:43Might it have been wiser to do this dialogue in a place that's a little quieter?
07:47I need you to fill me for my unborn son so that in case I die...
07:52The volume's great, it's just the intelligibility.
07:54Like, the tub, it's just very loud, and...
08:05When I was a little boy, my mom would give me tubbies.
08:09It's my favorite time of the day.
08:11We called it tubby time.
08:15Yeah.
08:17I'm familiar.
08:19I love a tubby.
08:21Let's do it!
08:24I don't want to make you uncomfortable.
08:35But we're gonna go a lot deeper places than this.
08:39You're doing okay?
08:40Yeah.
08:41Could be a lot better.
08:50Yeah.
08:51Could be a lot better.
08:53Let's get that full tubby striptease!
08:54Come on, magic bike!
08:55Let's booty pose it!
08:56Boom!
08:57Whoa!
08:58Boo-boo on the board!
09:00Boo-boo in the tub!
09:04All right, Mr. Joseph, I am rolling.
09:05I've got a nice shot with two candles, but there's also this tighter shot with just one candle.
09:17A tighter shot?
09:18Yeah.
09:19Yeah.
09:20Good.
09:21Good.
09:22Okay.
09:23Um...
09:24Last thing...
09:25You don't happen to have a different color washcloth.
09:28Do you?
09:29Like, if you had like a burnt orange or something...
09:30If you don't mind, could you just stick to the filming and let me stay at my own pace?
09:35Absolutely.
09:36You know what?
09:37You're totally right.
09:38I'm sorry.
09:39You're the boss.
09:40I'm here to support.
09:41Okay.
09:42Go ahead.
09:43Fuck.
09:44Where was I?
09:45You were lamenting that this was a sad scene and that tubby time should be fun and not
09:50sad.
09:51Right.
09:52Thanks.
09:53Wait.
09:54Wait.
09:55Wait.
09:56Wait.
09:57Wait.
09:58Wait.
09:59Wait.
10:00Wait.
10:01Wait.
10:02Wait.
10:03Wait.
10:04Wait.
10:05Wait.
10:06Wait.
10:07Wait.
10:08Wait.
10:09Wait.
10:10Wait.
10:11Wait.
10:12Wait.
10:13Wait.
10:14Wait.
10:15Did I say that part already?
10:16Did I already say that?
10:17Yeah.
10:18Of course you did.
10:20How would I know what you said if you hadn't already said it?
10:23Right.
10:25And then you said something about ending it and I dunno know something about killing yourself
10:30i think.
10:36It's true.
10:38I could do.
10:48I could end it.
10:53Do you think about suicide a lot?
10:54Would you please stop it?
10:55I'm sorry.
10:56I'm sorry.
10:56I'm sorry.
10:57You're right.
10:57Go ahead.
11:00Please.
11:08Oh, that kind of ruining it to hold your nose like that.
11:16Still, though, pretty good at holding your breath.
11:21I'm not really milking it going for that Oscar.
11:33Look, I'm sorry I tried to drown you, okay?
11:36I just, you said you wanted to end it, and, I don't know, I just, I thought I was helping.
11:45This may sound strange, but even though we just met, I consider you a new friend.
11:50Whoa, major deja vu.
11:52Did you feel that?
11:53No.
11:54Yes, yes.
11:55Two friends, new friends, having a drink, some whiskeys, or maybe some tea.
12:02Oh, and maybe one of the drinks has been tampered with.
12:07It's from, like, a viral video or, like, a movie or something, right?
12:10I don't know.
12:11Princess Bride!
12:12Inconceivable!
12:14The game of wits has begun.
12:16It ends when you decide, and we both drink.
12:20Iocane powder!
12:21I'd stake my life on it!
12:23Prince Humperdinck, am I right?
12:24Oh, my God, Chris Sarandon, one of the best comedic performances of the 80s.
12:28He's supposed to be this, like, evil villain, but he's really this, like, total loser.
12:31It's so funny.
12:32Anyway, this is going to be our game.
12:34One good drink.
12:35One bad drink.
12:37You decide.
12:41Look, man, we were supposed to be filming a video for my un-
12:44Uh, hello?
12:44What do you think we're doing?
12:46Say hi, buddy!
12:48Hello, little buddy.
12:50Playing a fun little drinking game with your dear old dad.
12:53It's so fun.
12:54It's so fun!
12:55I don't understand.
12:58It's the game.
12:59Okay.
13:00All right.
13:02Baby, you're going to need a little hint.
13:09That was a good one.
13:10This is the bad one.
13:13What do you do?
13:16It's like speed.
13:17What do you do?
13:22I don't know.
13:22What do I do?
13:23Well, you could end it, like you were talking about in the bathroom, or make it exciting.
13:30You could try to force me to drink it.
13:33A little scuffle ensues, you know?
13:35But this, look, this is your movie.
13:36You're the director.
13:37I'm just the cameraman.
13:39Gotta make a choice.
13:40You want to win the game?
13:41Gotta do something.
13:44I don't know.
13:46Oh, my God.
13:47Okay.
13:47Okay.
13:47All right.
13:54Well, you win the game.
13:56Congratulations.
13:58I drank the powder.
14:05You're a very strange person.
14:07Did you know that?
14:10That tastes weird.
14:11Do you realize what you've just done to yourself with their little game?
14:22Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?
14:27Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?
14:31Do you think it's funny?
14:31Who am I?
14:32That's funny.
14:40Oh, it is a good day.
14:43oh god oh my god it's such a good day
15:13you probably guessed by now that you answered the wrong ad today buddy this is the end of your road
15:25but hey i don't want you to feel bad about yourself okay you were up against a very formidable foe
15:35well i learned from the best the best of the best do you want to see you want to see okay
15:48okay i found this on the dark web a couple years ago
15:52oh he blurred out his face and his voice but look yeah oh my god look
15:56it's the best the best to ever play the game
16:09i may not be as good as him yet but i'm getting better every day oh no no one's gonna help you
16:16no one's gonna save you okay what i gotta tell you one thing fine fine fine but if you scream i'm going
16:24to bury this axe in your face okay okay okay oh okay thank you so much okay quick confession
16:35i lied it's not just one thing it's two things actually it's two things and a question so it's
16:40technically okay just move it along okay first thing you didn't trick me i voluntarily drank the
16:46drink that was a wild choice second thing that mask you're wearing it's really janky i think you need
16:53to consider more carefully the brands you love and how you represent them you really are a strange
16:58person third thing were you in the boy scouts yeah i thought so because these knots you tied
17:07they're really good but they're not great you didn't make it all the way to eagle scout did you
17:14yeah yeah it's okay i guess but sometimes going all the way matters sometimes that final knot
17:24makes a big difference sometimes it's the difference between life and death buddy you're not going to
17:33talk to yourself hey if i ask you a question will you answer me honestly when you saw that axe back at
17:46the house was there a small party that thought i might kill you with it no no no there's a check in
17:53your boot aaron how did you know hello my name is beach bus did you see the film i didn't have to see it
18:07i lived it
18:11hold it right there you know who i am you know what happens if you run come on let's talk this out
18:19come on take a seat it's okay good boy now listen i was really excited to meet you i have very high
18:36hopes i thought maybe we could even team up i don't want to be just daryl hall when we could be hall and
18:43oh it's that way no one has to die i'm trying no listen the problem is you're not very good at your
18:50job i try very hard don't tell me you're trying you're just not trying hard enough but the good
18:55news is there's hope okay remember in the late 50s there was a mediocre cover band out of liverpool
19:04called the quarry men they didn't become the beatles until somebody took a shot on them
19:10i want to take that shot on you you pity me i don't yes you do well maybe a little you
19:18drank the poison last night well i wanted you to feel you were doing well
19:22you let me tie you up i am not left-handed i am pathetic i got nothing to offer don't you dare say
19:29that every human being has something to offer there's something you could do right now that would be
19:34be unforgettable you just have to be brutally
19:43painfully honest with yourself
19:48painfully honest with yourself
20:03oh he's got something he's got something oh wow
20:09okay here he comes
20:23painfully honest with yourself
20:36this is original
20:53the
20:55painfully honest with you
21:00it's
21:02it's
21:06it's
21:08it's
21:09it's
21:10it's
21:12it's
21:14it's
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