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Société : Attentats du 13 novembre 2015 David Fritz Goeppinger, otage du bataclan
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il y a 17 heures
Société : Attentats du 13 novembre 2015 David Fritz Goeppinger, otage du bataclan
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TV
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00:00
I came across this message from my father telling me,
00:02
Watch out, my son, they're shooting in the streets of Paris, etc.
00:05
And I realized that something was going on, but without really realizing it.
00:08
When I returned to my seat, I heard metallic noises coming from the ground floor,
00:12
without really understanding and at the same time without really realizing what was happening.
00:16
When I leaned over, I saw something in three dimensions.
00:19
I saw my eyesight, so I had this extremely graphic image of sprays of blood, etc.
00:23
And the second thing was my sense of smell.
00:25
So I started to smell the gunpowder and at the same time the blood too.
00:28
It's a smell that's both very metallic.
00:31
So when you mix the two, it's really trippy.
00:34
It's very, very violent and you get a kind of feeling that nothing exists anymore except for these sounds.
00:47
For us, life stops at that moment.
00:50
We are really an object.
00:51
That's what we are.
00:52
We are reduced to our simplest person, human beings.
00:55
And we know that outside there are, there are lots of things happening,
00:58
that life goes on, that there is a kind of train that will not stop, that is turning outside.
01:03
And there are conversations that start with one of the bis-negotiators,
01:06
between the terrorist, the smaller of the two terrorists who, who is precisely asking him for things.
01:11
But at the same time, it's very messy.
01:13
We don't understand.
01:14
It's absolute nonsense where we passed in front of the window,
01:17
there are hostages against the door and we don't understand what.
01:19
For me clearly during these two and a half hours,
01:21
I didn't really find any justification for anything.
01:24
And at the same time, I didn't want to do it and I think that's human.
01:34
And we come across another police officer at the top of the stairs leading to the ground floor.
01:38
We follow him, he tells us to come in, and so on.
01:40
And we come across a last operator who is at the bar.
01:43
And I remember going down the stairs and seeing two women hugging each other,
01:46
and I, and my mind refuses to understand, and I say to myself,
01:50
they're sleeping.
01:51
And in fact, they're sleeping with their eyes open, so they're dead, you know.
01:57
And the operator says right after this scene, don't look.
02:01
And I look up and behind him there's this kind of pile of corpses.
02:04
Where in fact I see that and I faint because I'm like there's been a second trauma within the trauma
02:13
where I say, I just spent two and a half hours with the guys who did this and I can walk.
02:18
I managed to get out of there.
02:20
Quote,
02:20
The weeks that followed the Bataclan meant going back to a place where people party,
02:24
where they drink, where there's music, where there's rock.
02:27
For me, listening to rock was an absolute ordeal.
02:30
It was extremely difficult to say to myself, I'm going to go back to a bar.
02:36
I'm going to go back to partying because when you're a bartender,
02:39
you take part in the party, you feed it in a certain way.
02:42
And for me, the party had died down.
02:44
There was a kind of end on November 13th.
02:48
I had been with my girlfriend at the time, Roman, for four or five months and
02:52
things were going really well.
02:55
I felt like my relationship was a bit difficult and I needed a bit of freedom and renewal.
03:02
And above all, I had met a girl a year before Oris who I hadn't fallen in love with,
03:06
but I had a crush on her.
03:12
After the attacks, when Roman joined me in Paris,
03:14
I met a girl who was extremely affected and upset by what had happened to me.
03:18
When I needed support,
03:25
I felt like she had to stand next to me like a rock and roll and try to reassure me.
03:33
And
03:33
It was terrible, but I felt like I didn't want to reassure her.
03:38
Doris was the first person to tell me,
03:39
we can talk about it whenever you want.
03:51
I realized that I was leaving and leaving Doris behind.
03:54
And in fact, Doris was, like I said earlier,
03:57
my rock and she was kind of the guarantor of my mental health,
03:59
unfortunately, and my psychiatrist would come later, of course.
04:04
And in fact, I arrived in the Terrestal Pine National Park,
04:07
which is in Chilean Patagonia,
04:09
and I found myself in the middle of nowhere, all alone.
04:14
And of course, the huge ball of suffering and pain that follows me,
04:18
well, it catches up with me 100% and it hits me completely.
04:22
So I remember being in my tent,
04:24
I think I'm 13,500 kilometers from Paris
04:27
and I wonder what the hell am I doing here.
04:30
So I really experienced these two weeks as a kind of long corridor of suffering
04:34
where I need Doris,
04:35
I call her but at the same time there's no reception.
04:37
We have trouble talking to each other,
04:40
I don't have internet.
04:41
Anyway, it's a disaster and at the same time it allows me to purge myself
04:44
and when I get back to France,
04:46
I know that I may be ready to start something again.
04:49
And that something is my daily life in fact.
04:51
The moment I managed to cope was,
05:00
uh, when I left MapSea in March, April 2018.
05:03
And I came out of her,
05:08
that consultation and Sandrine said to me,
05:11
have a good trip, something like that.
05:13
And then I said to myself,
05:15
phew, now I'm all alone and I know that I'm equipped to cope.
05:19
And why?
05:20
Because I did almost three years of therapy with her.
05:23
And she gave me all the tools I needed to combat the trauma,
05:28
to combat the emergence of these difficult images.
05:32
And of course I'll still have pain,
05:34
but of course it'll be much less difficult than before
05:36
and I'll have the strength and the conviction to tell myself
05:39
that I'm stronger than this and that I'll be able to fight it.
05:41
And I'll be able to fight it.
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