- 2 days ago
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01:16Boozer for ghosts, Mr. Mullins, and you haven't passed on.
01:19Yet.
01:20In a room full of octogenarians, I was the one dying.
01:24It's like hell's waiting room in here.
01:27Oh, sorry.
01:28No offense.
01:29Is anyone having a birthday?
01:31Pop came along to support me and get snacks.
01:32Can you eat?
01:33Oh, no, I'm not.
01:34No.
01:35Oh, yeah.
01:36Why not?
01:37There you are, sir.
01:39Pudding cup?
01:40Oh, I could get used to this.
01:44What's your name, Matt?
01:45Um, Millicent.
01:46Millicent?
01:47Not Millie Hearn.
01:48Patrick Critch.
01:49Oh, of course.
01:50How are you?
01:51A little bit older, but twice as handsome.
01:52You're looking your usual beautiful self.
01:53Unlike that Linda Foley.
01:54My God, I saw her yesterday.
01:55I heard her son lost his license.
01:57DUIs all over the place.
01:58Pop!
01:59What?
02:00Do you mind?
02:01Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, who likes impressions!
02:04Give it up for President Ronald Reagan!
02:06Thank you!
02:07Delighted to be here tonight.
02:08I'm delighted to be here tonight.
02:10lost his license do you eyes all over the place pop um do you mind anyway ladies and gentlemen
02:17who likes impressions give it up for president ronald reagan thank you delighted to be here
02:27tonight then again at my age i'm delighted to be anywhere
02:32my first walkout needed a walker tough crowd pop we gotta go what's the rush we're gonna miss the
02:45bus good you know i get treated way better here than i do at home was that applesauce
02:51oh yes hey you know what you should start hanging out with people more your own age
02:59fine oh any more pudding
03:05how was your show last night well the jello bit killed but i lost them with the medical
03:12urge stuff sorry i couldn't help finish your project it's okay my dad wouldn't even let me
03:17touch it richie and i had been chosen to represent saint bridget's at the regional science fair
03:23but we couldn't take all the credit you know i won the science fair every year even made nationals
03:32you mentioned it once or twice before dad come on we can do much better than a potato battery
03:36we you know what would be cool if we have circuit board
03:42thanks to richie's dad we made it to regionals with the whatchamacallit
03:50oh stop it fox it's a singing robot not a toy whatever it is it's stupid oh if we're the stupid
04:04ones then how come your project didn't make it to regionals at least i did my project myself
04:08hey fox you come to cheers on oh yes mr prez you got this you're definitely one of the smartest
04:17eighth graders here thanks remember if the judges ask lips stands for light infrared power sad
04:26this is our project i know you guys you take it from here wait i better solder that
04:35come on richie my boy let's check out the competition
04:41maple syrup northern nectar look a single drip and then why are we forced to watch this crap
04:53we should have the freedom to watch whatever we want on television who's with me on this
04:59what do we want tv freedom when do we want it now now now what do we want tv freedom when do we
05:07want it now now now
05:09oh thank you nurse
05:12you are so assertive you know what you want you're not afraid to go out and get it
05:19and i know what i want now that's to have dinner with you tomorrow
05:25it's scallop potato day
05:29look i'm a little bit embarrassed about this but
05:35i was glad when your husband died i mean i didn't want to say anything of the wake
05:41flat
05:43things were heating up at the retirement home
05:47all these kids are smarter than us
05:50that's because we go to the dumb school dumbass
05:52congrats you're the smartest of the dummies and then you're the dumbest of the smarties
05:55ignore her richie she's just not at the regional level
05:59whoa
06:04who's that
06:05what a granola
06:09skateboards
06:12cool what's your project about
06:14which type of pants hold up best when you fall off your board
06:17the regional science fair brought kids from all over the province together
06:22if richie was ever going to meet his match it was here at nerdpalooza
06:27i'm richie
06:28just sent up but everyone calls me jay
06:31and i'm mark
06:31and this is fox
06:33fox
06:34what's that shirt for fox san
06:37fox san
06:38have fun losing losers
06:43she seems nice
06:47fox was not about to be replaced
06:50all's fair in love and war
06:55if not in science fairs
06:57wow
06:58your board's way better than mine
07:01you skateboard
07:01you guys should come skateboarding with me downtown
07:04downtown?
07:05we're going down right after the judging
07:07we'll see you there
07:09oh wait downtown?
07:13that's like two bus transfers
07:15show time
07:19we gotta go
07:20oh okay
07:20when it comes to projects
07:24saint bridget's has it down to a science
07:27but
07:30we're not just all talk
07:32and now to vocm news
07:37i'm mike critch
07:38two youths were apprehended at the pop shop last night
07:40the suspects were found breaking bottles against a dumpster in the parking lot
07:44the constabulary arrived on the scene
07:46that should be moving richie
07:46uh richie my boy
07:49the destructive vandals true to remaining bottles and police officers
07:53who were forced to retreat
07:54just one second
07:55i don't know how it works
07:59uh he just
08:01what place did i get?
08:07we didn't place dad
08:08what?
08:10this thing is rigged
08:12excuse me miss
08:13excuse me
08:14did you see our project back there?
08:17the lips?
08:18i've seen hockey dads before
08:19but never a science fair dad
08:21downtowns
08:26hacky-sacking skateboarding punks
08:29they're desecrating the war memorial
08:32this is not why young men died in the trenches
08:35please don't say things like that okay
08:37i like jay
08:39and i don't want her to think we're nerds
08:42you met at a science fair?
08:45you want to be an actor?
08:47maybe you can act like you fit in
08:49challenge accepted
08:51i could fake being myself
08:53you made it
09:01richie, mark, this is my friend cara
09:04cara
09:05i'd finally met a girl as nerdy as i was
09:08but she wore it better
09:09can i try your board?
09:11sure
09:11it's from canadian tire
09:14i didn't know what to say to her
09:18what could i have in common with a downtowny girl?
09:35whoa
09:37is that a meter dose aerosol?
09:40you know your inhalers
09:42you need a puff?
09:43we hadn't even kissed
09:44but i could taste her cotton candy smacker's lip balm on her inhaler
09:48was this love?
09:50or a lack of oxygen?
09:51thanks
09:52needed that
09:53so
09:54what are you into?
09:56besides breathing
09:57what was i into?
09:59i didn't know what i was into yet
10:00she hadn't told me
10:01still wheezy
10:03you go first
10:05well
10:06i volunteer a lot
10:07oxfam
10:09youth for social justice
10:10i organize protests to help save the whales
10:12and
10:13oh
10:13i'm a vegetarian
10:14oh
10:15i get me too
10:17i love vegetables
10:18sometimes i eat them straight out the can
10:20so
10:24what school do you go to?
10:26vanier academy
10:27no saint in the school name?
10:29that meant she was a
10:30protestant
10:31no wonder she was so exotic
10:34no uniforms
10:35no nuns
10:36no guilt
10:37kids
10:39we've had some complaints about the noise
10:42i'm gonna have to ask you to break it up for today
10:45pigs
10:48that cup always hassles us
10:50this i could handle
10:52i've got this
10:54hey
10:55officer but
10:57i'm not on board with the desecration of a sacred monument either
11:02but
11:03i've got a two dollar bill
11:06with your name on it
11:08lars is still open
11:10why don't you go
11:11forget about all of this
11:13and get yourself a call
11:15afternoon mary
11:22your son tried to bribe a policeman
11:25can't believe it
11:34my own son brought home by the police
11:37what will the neighbors say?
11:39we don't have neighbors
11:40mark
11:41what were you even doing downtown?
11:43i was trying to impress a girl
11:47oh
11:48showing off we're alike
11:50well what's she like
11:53well she's a protestant
11:55good god a protestant
11:57that could lead to a mixed marriage
11:59thinking of children
11:59well what school would they even go to?
12:01give it up will ya
12:02it's just a little date
12:03he's not gonna marry her
12:04i dare say it's not
12:05what church would they get married in?
12:07where would they be buried?
12:09at sea?
12:10oh going all the way downtown
12:12you must be starved
12:14uh i've decided i'm a vegetarian
12:17so
12:17this is all her doing isn't it?
12:21oh too good for a little meat fried up in the pan
12:24oh yeah
12:25she can't eat anything
12:27with her fancy protestant nose
12:29all stuck up in the air
12:31mom
12:32jesus christ there's no meat and gravy
12:35you know they had these wonderful chairs
12:44they were called uh
12:45la zee boys
12:46it was like sitting on a cloud with cup holders
12:50what do you think pop?
12:54everyone knows the best way to save a whale
12:57is in the freezer
12:58they're endangered
12:59you mean dangerous
13:01my father was killed by a whale
13:05he was a whaler
13:06yeah sharks of the sea
13:08that's what whales are
13:09anyway
13:10since when have you gone so
13:12bridgette bardeau on us?
13:17kira likes whales
13:18okay
13:19you know pretending to be someone you're not for a girl
13:23i mean
13:23can only lead to heartbreak
13:27but aren't you pretending to live at the home?
13:30home is where the heart is
13:31and my heart is at the home
13:34well i won't rat you out to the orderlies if you donate to a protest
13:39hippie
13:41that meal was almost as good as the company
13:47you are such a charmer
13:50why don't we just take a stroll
13:53see the sunset
13:55just the two of us
13:56that's a lovely idea
13:57i can show you my roses
13:59and the creek behind the house is just full of trout at this time of year
14:03creek?
14:05i didn't see a creek
14:06i saw a road
14:07oh
14:08but
14:10but
14:12this isn't
14:17my house
14:18billy?
14:19i have to go back before dark
14:22my husband
14:23my husband will worry
14:24have you seen my husband sir?
14:29no
14:31no
14:32not for a while
14:34no
14:35i'm afraid
14:36he
14:37ah
14:39milly
14:41thank you so much for dinner
14:44nurse
14:46nurse i think milly's tired
14:50take good care of her
14:52sir
14:53the doors are locked now
14:54locked?
14:55well i don't live here
14:56sounds like you're a little tired too
14:59um
15:00um
15:01milly
15:02tell her who i am
15:03i've never seen you before in my life
15:05what is
15:06hey
15:07excuse me
15:08just relax now sir
15:09hey
15:10these men will get you settled
15:11hey
15:12whoa whoa wait a minute
15:13that's my son
15:14on the radio
15:15i live with the man on the radio
15:17i'm sure you do
15:18let me go
15:19you're gonna hear from my lawyer
15:22come on
15:23what are you doing
15:24save the will
15:25save the whales
15:27save the whales
15:28save the whales
15:29save the whales
15:31save the whales
15:32protestants sure love to protest
15:33i guess that's where the name comes from
15:35save the whales
15:36everyone's ignoring us
15:37save the whales
15:38don't they get how important this is
15:39save the whales
15:40hang on
15:41save the whales
15:42listen up everybody
15:43i think our chant could use some work
15:45save the whales
15:46save the whales
15:47how about
15:48one
15:49two
15:50three
15:51four
15:52save our whales and ocean floor
15:53one
15:54two
15:55three
15:56four
15:57one
15:58two
15:59three
16:00i love how passionate you are
16:01this was the start of a personal reformation
16:03what are you losers bawling about
16:05two
16:06three
16:07four
16:08who are you calling a loser fox fan
16:09one
16:10them
16:11jacinta
16:12i don't think mark's a loser
16:13then you should get your glasses checked
16:15why don't you go someplace where somebody wants you
16:17two
16:18three
16:19four
16:20fox
16:21whatever
16:22nobody cares about this stuff
16:23tree hugging pinkos
16:24what did you call me
16:25one
16:26two
16:27three
16:28four
16:29back off
16:30do you know who my brothers are
16:31no
16:32maybe you should just go fox
16:33one
16:34two
16:35three
16:36four
16:37save our whales and ocean floor
16:38one
16:39two
16:40three
16:41four
16:42one
16:43two
16:44three
16:45four
16:46save our whales and ocean floor
16:47one
16:48two
16:49three
16:50four
16:51save our whales and ocean floor
16:52one
16:53two
16:54three
16:55four
16:56one
16:57two
17:02family finally had enoughy eh?
17:06my son did the same thing to me
17:08he finally gets married and then he ships me off here
17:13freaking ingrate
17:14ah
17:15that's a bit selfish yeah?
17:18well you're probably better off here I mean
17:21I mean, it's a nice place.
17:23Nice people.
17:25No, I'm just here temporarily, yeah.
17:28I live with my son. He's gonna come pick me up.
17:31Hmm. Sounds like you got a good one.
17:36Yeah.
17:38Hmm, I do.
17:43Millie? Excuse me. Millie!
17:46Hey, Millie, hey.
17:47I can't find my husband. Have you seen him?
17:50Millie, listen. It's all right.
17:52He promised to fix me.
17:54Millie. Millie.
17:56Do you think he's all right?
17:59Well, there's a big storm moving in.
18:03They've closed down all the roads.
18:05I mean, you wouldn't want him driving in those conditions, now, would you?
18:09No.
18:10So he called.
18:12He said he's going to pick you up first thing in the morning.
18:16Isn't that nice?
18:17Yes.
18:18Now, let's get you back to your room, all right?
18:21Well, that makes sense.
18:23Mm-hmm.
18:24Pop, for God's sake.
18:25Oh, about bloody time.
18:27Now, listen, Millie.
18:29This very nice lady is going to take you back.
18:32And then, if she doesn't want a lawsuit, she's going to go to the kitchen and get a case of that pudding and put it in my son's car.
18:41Mm.
18:42Yeah.
18:43All right, Pop, let's go. Mary's worried sick.
18:46Wait.
18:47You know, I know I may seem ungrateful at times, but you're a good boy.
19:00Good God.
19:01What kind of pills you have, man?
19:03Technically, I never said we were Protestants.
19:14I don't care if you're Catholic, Mark.
19:17But I do care if you're honest.
19:20Can we start again?
19:26Okay.
19:27I'm Mark.
19:28I like Dean Martin and Vienna sausages.
19:30I'm not a vegetarian.
19:32In fact, the only vegetable I ever eat is the noble potato.
19:39Still just carrot.
19:50This is my second kid.
19:51I think you'd work for him.
19:52Yeah.
19:53OK.
19:54This is my second kid.
19:56Just like having him in my head.
19:57Yeah, it's he.
19:58Yeah.
19:59A little thing, though.
20:00Actually, I think.
20:01I guess I can't help my fucking friends.
20:02The only thing that matters is how many friends you can count on.
20:07All yours friends are like a bottle of gravy browning.
20:13What?
20:14You have them till you die.
20:18you die thank God in life there's family and there's friends
20:48oh hey and then there's friends who become family hey about yesterday it's fine if you have new
20:59friends it's just I feel like we don't really hang out that much anymore yeah I know what you mean
21:07how about we go to Mary Brown's for lunch my treat I thought you're a vegetarian I'll just have the
21:16taters and the gravy there's no meeting gravy sure sometimes when you meet a new friend you can tell
21:31right away that you'll be friends forever and when forever comes you'll be glad that they're there
21:42mind if I sit not at all
21:48Patrick nice to meet you
22:00you
22:03you
22:05you
22:07you
22:09you
22:11you
22:13We'll see you next time.
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