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00:00From Hollywood, it's Jimmy Kimmel Live.
00:04Tonight, Samuel L. Jackson, Miss Pat,
00:07and music from Eric Church with The Klee Tones.
00:12And now, Jimmy Kimmel!
00:30Thank you for joining us on a waning day in Hollywood today.
00:46Following a Monday night of football from fabulous Las Vegas,
00:50where the odds that Donald Trump will finish his term as president
00:54have dipped in light of a Republican revolt
00:57over the president's BF Jeff, Jeffrey Epstein.
01:00Did you hear about this?
01:02The House could vote as soon as tomorrow
01:04on whether to release the Epstein files.
01:07And that vote...
01:09...is likely to pass bigly.
01:13At least 50 Republicans are expected to break ranks,
01:16which has forced Trump to now claim
01:19he's for the files being released.
01:21After almost a year of saying he didn't want to release,
01:24after a year of stalling, hedging, brow-beating members
01:27of his own party last night,
01:29all of a sudden Trump reversed course completely.
01:32He wrote,
01:32As I said on Friday night to the fake news media,
01:36House Republicans should vote to release the Epstein files
01:39because we have nothing to hide.
01:43We have nothing to hide.
01:44I have some bad news.
01:45There's no we.
01:46It's just you, bro.
01:48Man, if you have nothing to hide, why even have the vote?
01:55Why not just have the Department of Justice release the files now?
01:59After 10 months of fighting tooth and nail,
02:01doing everything he could to keep those files secret,
02:04he's now asking for a full release,
02:06which is what got all these guys in trouble in the first place.
02:10So his new plan,
02:12his plan now is hurry up and release the files
02:15so I can start saying they're fake.
02:17Last week,
02:18he tried a last-minute arm twist
02:21to get Republicans like Lauren Boebert and Nancy Mace
02:24to back off this Epstein stuff.
02:25Lauren Boebert was even summoned to the Situation Room
02:28to be worked over by Pam Bondi and Kash Patel.
02:31They tried to persuade her to remove her signature
02:33from the petition demanding the files be made public,
02:37which is exactly what someone who's totally innocent
02:40and has nothing to hide would do.
02:42Boebert and Mace did not give in to the pressure campaign,
02:45so now Trump's ordered his attorney general
02:47to investigate Democrat ties to Jeffrey Epstein,
02:51which is like Diddy ordering an investigation
02:53into why there were so many bottles of baby oil in his house.
02:57We have nothing to do with Epstein.
02:59The Democrats do.
03:01All of his friends were Democrats.
03:03Bill Clinton, they went to his island all the time,
03:05and many others.
03:06They're all Democrats.
03:07That's right.
03:08All his friends were Democrats.
03:10All his friends were Democrats,
03:12including this one.
03:13That right there, yeah.
03:16That's when he was a Democrat.
03:17Look at all the smiles.
03:18This photo is everything you need to know
03:20about Donald Trump in one shot.
03:22There's no evidence, by the way,
03:24that Bill Clinton has ever been to Epstein Island.
03:26Every one of Jeffrey Epstein's emails,
03:28or even one,
03:29says Clinton was never, ever there, never.
03:32And there's no evidence Trump was on the island either,
03:35but the emails between Epstein and Jelaine Maxwell
03:38very clearly say Trump spent hours
03:40with one of Epstein's victims,
03:42who is now deceased.
03:43But don't let that distract you
03:45from the Donald Trump version of this story.
03:48Mr. President,
03:49what did Jeffrey Epstein mean in his emails
03:52when he said you knew about the girls?
03:54I know nothing about that.
03:56They would have announced that a long time ago.
03:58It's really what did he mean
03:59when he spent all the time with Bill Clinton.
04:01That's right.
04:02Bill Clinton should immediately resign
04:05as President of the United States.
04:08One of the emails,
04:10the one that got the most attention this weekend,
04:14referred to Trump, quote,
04:15blowing a person named Bubba.
04:18Man, he couldn't even let Hillary have that, huh?
04:22This Bubba thing got so crazy
04:23that Epstein's brother, Mark Epstein,
04:25who wrote that email,
04:27came forward to clarify
04:28that the Bubba he was referring to
04:30was not Bill Clinton,
04:31but who is Bubba then?
04:34Maybe Gump?
04:35Maybe he was deep-throating shrimp?
04:38We don't know.
04:40If the bill to release the files
04:41passes the House,
04:42it will then go to the Senate,
04:43and then if it passes the Senate,
04:45it goes to Trump's desk
04:46where he would be forced to sign or veto it,
04:49which would be a very embarrassing way
04:51for him to learn how a bill becomes a law.
04:54President, Representative Massey says
04:57he's concerned that the Epstein probe
04:59you are calling for
05:00could be a smokescreen
05:01to lock the relief to more files.
05:04Is that the case?
05:05Well, I don't want to talk about it
05:06because fake news like you,
05:09you're a terrible reporter,
05:10and fake news like you,
05:11they just keep bringing that up
05:13to deflect from the tremendous success
05:15of the Trump administration.
05:16That's right.
05:18Enough with the deflections
05:19and the distractions.
05:20Let's talk about my new ballroom
05:22at the White House.
05:23All this talk about Epstein
05:25has resulted in
05:27the most shocking celebrity breakup
05:29since Hall vs. Oates.
05:31Trump announced yet another divorce,
05:33this time with the former president
05:35of his fan club, Marjorie Taylor Greene.
05:37He wrote,
05:37I am withdrawing my support and endorsement
05:40of Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene.
05:43He's so upset he couldn't even come up
05:46with a decent nickname for her.
05:47He wrote,
05:48Wacky Marjorie Trader Brown.
05:52Remember, Greene turns to brown
05:55when there is rot involved.
05:58Listen, if you have to explain a nickname,
06:01not a good nickname.
06:02Marjorie, meanwhile,
06:05this Marjorie Taylor Greene,
06:06I don't know what's going on.
06:09She was on CNN over the weekend.
06:10She apologized for taking part
06:12in toxic politics
06:14and said we need to be kind to one another.
06:16Are we sure this new Marjorie is real
06:19and not some kind of AI alter ego?
06:21It's like she was visited by three ghosts
06:24in the middle of the night.
06:25She says she still supports Trump,
06:27but she wants to see all the Epstein files.
06:29Someone, by the way,
06:30created a searchable database of these files,
06:33the ones from the Epstein estate.
06:35You could search Trump's name,
06:36which is interesting because in September,
06:39this is what his FBI director,
06:41Kash Patel, had to say
06:42when questioned by Eric Swalwell.
06:44You said you don't know the number of times
06:46Trump's name appears in the files,
06:48so it could at least be 1,000 times.
06:51Is that right?
06:51You can characterize the numbers
06:52however you want it.
06:53Can you claim me my time, director?
06:55It sounds like if you don't know the number,
06:57it could at least be 1,000 times.
06:59It's not.
07:00It's not.
07:00Is it at least 500 times?
07:02No.
07:02Is it at least 100 times?
07:03No.
07:04Then what's the number?
07:05I don't know the number,
07:05but it's not that.
07:07Well, I do know the number,
07:09and Trump's name appears 2,020 times.
07:142020.
07:16Wasn't that also the year
07:17they stole the election from him?
07:19That's a very...
07:20That is an unlucky number for the president.
07:25Eric Swalwell will be here on our show
07:27later this week,
07:27and I look forward to asking him about this.
07:29And the reason this Epstein vote's even taken place
07:32is because Mike Johnson,
07:34the Speaker of the House,
07:35after two months of stalling,
07:36finally had to swear in Adelita Grijalva,
07:38the Democrat from Arizona.
07:40Here is the 218th
07:43and deciding signature
07:44on the discharge petition in person.
07:47And she's also the star
07:48of what may have been
07:50the most awkward swearing-in ceremony of all time.
07:53Handshake.
07:53Handshake.
07:54Yep.
07:55I'll let the camera to go.
08:00That's a big bump.
08:01I'm just wondering,
08:02why do you take so long to get so long?
08:03Thank you, guys, too.
08:05That would be another...
08:07That would not be my question.
08:08This is the...
08:09Look, I really like this lady.
08:11Oh, my God.
08:13Now he really likes this lady, huh?
08:16Smithers, you little suck-up.
08:19I would love to know
08:20what's going through Trump's head right now.
08:21On Friday, he's holed up in the White House
08:22blasting music so loud
08:24everyone in the area could hear it.
08:26Save my baby, don't move it.
08:29Save my baby!
08:31Nothing to see there,
08:33just the president alone in the White House
08:35blasting Phantom of the Opera
08:37at full volume
08:39while rage-tweeting
08:40about how everybody's out to get him.
08:42And he also turned the volume up to 11
08:44for a number from Elton John.
08:47Don't let the sun go down on me
08:48and he is blasting out of a speaker
08:50over in the Rose Garden
08:52over here onto the North Lawn.
08:54As we understand it
08:56and talking to some folks
08:57in the West Wing,
08:59President Trump today
09:00is having some fun.
09:02He's got his phone out
09:03and his playlist pulled up
09:05and the music is playing.
09:10That's a positive way of looking at it.
09:12Listen, the music he's playing
09:14is Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me.
09:18But don't read anything into that.
09:20He's just having fun.
09:22The shutdown may be over
09:23but the meltdown is just beginning.
09:26It is...
09:27Donald Trump
09:30would like you to know
09:32there is nothing wrong with his brain
09:35even though he just had an MRI
09:37for reasons unknown even to him.
09:39Could you tell us why you needed to get an MRI?
09:42I understand that the results were good
09:44but what was it for?
09:45Because it's part of my physical.
09:47Getting an MRI is very sad.
09:49The way you think I shouldn't have
09:50and other people get it.
09:52I had an MRI.
09:54Here's what the story is.
09:55I had an MRI.
09:57The doctor said
09:58it was the best result
09:59he has ever seen as a doctor.
10:02The best result
10:03he's ever seen as a doctor.
10:07Specifically a Dr. Phil.
10:09Trump said he has no idea
10:12why doctors gave him an MRI
10:14which is probably why
10:15the doctors gave him the MRI.
10:17Can you imagine a doctor
10:18looking at his MRI and saying
10:20this is the best one I've ever seen.
10:23What does that even mean?
10:25Is that a grade?
10:27It's pass-fail.
10:29This is interesting.
10:3080 years after his very timely death
10:33researchers
10:33analysing Hitler's DNA
10:36discovered something
10:37that I think will be a lot funnier
10:39to hear with an English accent.
10:41New DNA analysis reveals
10:43Adolf Hitler suffered from
10:45a genetic disorder
10:46which often results in
10:48having undescended testicles
10:49and a micropenis.
10:53That's what they call
10:55a triple whammy.
10:57Undescended testicles
10:58and a micropenis.
10:59They believe Hitler
11:00had a micropenis
11:02due to a genetic condition
11:03called Kalman syndrome
11:05named after Franz Josef Kalman
11:07the very unfortunate doctor
11:09whose name is now synonymous
11:11with micropenis.
11:13Researchers believe
11:14Hitler may have died
11:16a virgin
11:16and that he was in
11:18the top 1% of people
11:19who are predisposed
11:20to autism, schizophrenia
11:22and bipolar disorder
11:24which is very good news
11:26for the gang
11:26at the History Channel.
11:28Get ready
11:29for Hitler's Penis Week
11:31on History Week
11:32starting where it all began
11:33with Baby Hitler
11:35Baby d***
11:36followed by
11:37Dan Aykroyd hosts
11:38The Mysteries of the Fuhrer's
11:40Tiny Tube Steak
11:41followed by
11:43Bigfoot laughs
11:44at Adolf's Little One
11:45tiny
11:46and a special
11:48Forged in Fire
11:49see how medieval weapons
11:50would fare
11:51against Hitler's
11:52teensy-weensy
11:53wienerschnitzel
11:53and find out
11:55how much Hitler's
11:56dinky ding-dong
11:56is worth
11:57on Antiques Chode Show.
11:59History will not be kind
12:01the whole month of November
12:02with the secrets
12:03of Adolf's Ball Pack
12:05finding Fuhrer's foreskin
12:07Ischman Ein P. Wiener
12:09the nubbin of Nuremberg
12:11is it In Yet Mein Fuhrer
12:13the Ava Brown story
12:14and My Little Dick Tater
12:1624 hours a day
12:187 days a week
12:192 centimeters of
12:21lederhosen meat
12:21you cannot see
12:23only on History
12:25only on History
12:25We have a fun
12:28we have a fun show tonight
12:30Ms. Pat is here
12:31we have music
12:31from Eric Church
12:32and we'll be right back
12:34with Sam Jackson
12:35and welcome back to our show
12:46tonight a very funny woman
12:49she's got a show called
12:50Ms. Pat Settles It
12:52Ms. Pat is with us tonight
12:54and then later
12:55a four-time CMA award winner
12:58he's got an IMAX film
13:00Evangeline vs. The Machine Comes Alive
13:03coming out in February
13:04and this is the album
13:05it's based on music
13:06from Eric Church
13:07we have all new shows
13:11with some really great guests
13:13including Kate Winslet
13:14Kerry Washington
13:15Ray Sehorne
13:16Ali Larder
13:17Congressman Eric Swalwell
13:19will be here
13:19and Adam Sandler
13:21will join us
13:21with music from Lord Huron
13:23Steven Wilson Jr.
13:24and T-Pain too
13:25so join us for all that
13:26our first guest tonight
13:27is a big-time movie star
13:29who has the remarkable distinction
13:31of having been eaten
13:32by both a dinosaur
13:33and a shark
13:34you can see him next
13:36on Tulsa King
13:37go ahead y'all
13:46a little more
13:47and it's fun
13:50let me have a big teddy bear
13:59on this hot girl please
14:00the season finale
14:03of Tulsa King
14:04is Sunday
14:04on Paramount Bucks
14:06please welcome
14:07Samuel L. Jackson
14:08how are you
14:31I am awesome
14:33you look good
14:33you always look good
14:34you look sharp
14:35I like this ensemble
14:37you've got on here
14:37thank you very much
14:38it's Monday Night Football
14:40tonight
14:40are you still an
14:41Atlanta Falcons fan
14:42they're not playing tonight
14:43they played yesterday
14:44they played yesterday
14:45and they lost
14:46lost their quarterback
14:47yeah yeah
14:48so no?
14:50I'm still a Falcon fan
14:52I can't not be a Falcon fan
14:54but I cheer most
14:55for the Baltimore Ravens
14:57because Lamar Jackson
14:58is my bastard son
14:59wow that's news
15:02that's what everybody thinks
15:05some late breaking news
15:06I roll with that
15:07you know
15:08do people really think
15:09he's your son
15:10of course
15:10all kinds of side
15:12side by side
15:13pictures of us online
15:14and when
15:15he was at Louisville
15:16he used to sit
15:18next to Samuel
15:19so it would be
15:20Samuel L. Jackson
15:21on the back of their jerseys
15:22when they were on the bench
15:23I like that
15:25yeah it was great
15:26great for me
15:27he snatched you away
15:29from the Falcons
15:30you know I haven't seen you
15:31since you were
15:32the surprise guest
15:33during the Super Bowl
15:34halftime show
15:35oh right
15:35and I haven't really
15:36heard you talk about that
15:38that was a lot of fun
15:40great time
15:42I kind of had no idea
15:44when they called me
15:45and said
15:45yeah we'd really like
15:46for you to be part of
15:47Lamar
15:47you know
15:48the Kendricks
15:49Kendricks
15:50Kendricks halftime show
15:51I was like
15:52really
15:52all right
15:54well
15:55and they said
15:55well
15:56we'll send you
15:57a treatment
15:58or whatever
15:58I said
15:59I don't
15:59I don't really care
16:00I'll be there
16:01you're in
16:02yeah
16:03and then when I got there
16:04and we were rehearsing
16:05it was
16:05it was all kind of nice
16:07and fun
16:07and watching the dancers
16:09go through the routines
16:09it's like damn
16:10they've been rehearsing
16:11for a while
16:11because they were like
16:12yeah they were
16:13yeah well
16:14it's the biggest
16:14it's like the most
16:15people that have ever
16:16watched a halftime show
16:17if you haven't seen
16:18if you didn't see it
16:19here's a refresher
16:20salutations
16:23it's your uncle
16:25Sam
16:26and this
16:27is the great
16:29American game
16:31and
16:33see I had
16:39I had no idea
16:40about any of that
16:41until we actually
16:42did dress rehearsal
16:43that was the first time
16:44you knew you were
16:45going to be what
16:45dressed as uncle Sam
16:46that was the first time
16:47I knew we were doing
16:48a revolution
16:48I mean I knew
16:49I knew
16:50I was dressing
16:51as uncle Sam
16:52but I just thought
16:52that was like
16:53okay fine
16:54it's an uncle Sam
16:54thing and it's not
16:55but then all of a sudden
16:56when dress rehearsal
16:58starts it's like
16:59I'm there
17:00I'm doing it
17:00I turn around
17:00and said
17:01wait a minute
17:02that's a flag
17:03they're making a flag
17:05up there
17:05oh
17:06now I'm going
17:07ah
17:07now it's revolutionary
17:09that's when you
17:10figured it out
17:10right then
17:11it never occurred
17:12to me
17:13did you know
17:14you know you were
17:15the uncle Sam
17:16or you think
17:16you're somebody's
17:17uncle named Sam
17:18in this situation
17:19I just thought
17:20it was just me
17:21being Sam
17:22you know
17:23with an uncle Sam
17:24suit on
17:24uncle Sam
17:25I'm called uncle Sam
17:26by a whole bunch
17:26of people
17:27did you know
17:28well probably
17:29your nieces and nephews
17:30I'm at that age
17:31for sure
17:31hey what's up
17:33I flow with it
17:35you know
17:35you flow with everything
17:37did you know
17:37Serena Williams
17:38was going to be
17:39doing the crip walk
17:40I didn't know
17:41she was doing
17:41the crip walk
17:41but I knew
17:42she was there
17:42you did
17:43you know
17:44and I finally
17:44found out
17:45that there was
17:45a guy named
17:46mustard
17:46not just
17:47he was just
17:47yelling mustard
17:48I see
17:48I found all
17:50that
17:50all that
17:50was new
17:51information
17:51for me
17:52and then you
17:53you based
17:54your outfit
17:54off of him
17:55I flowed
17:56yeah
17:56you um
17:57but this
17:58this is Dijon
17:59you've worked
18:00not French's
18:01Dijon
18:02yeah
18:03you worked
18:06with a lot
18:06of rappers
18:07um
18:08LL Cool J
18:09you worked
18:09with
18:09you worked
18:10with Busta Rhymes
18:11and in Juice
18:13you worked
18:13with Tupac
18:14now I want
18:15to ask you
18:15because I've
18:16been reading
18:16this book
18:17about Tupac
18:18that this guy
18:19Jeff Perlman
18:20wrote
18:20it's crazy
18:22it's unbelievable
18:22but you remember
18:24because that was
18:24his first movie
18:25he wasn't
18:25the big star
18:26that we all know
18:27now did he make
18:28an impression
18:28on you
18:29at that time
18:30um
18:30well I met
18:31him a few times
18:32and yeah
18:32I knew him
18:33and he was
18:34supposed to do
18:34Minutes to Society
18:35and he didn't do it
18:36so he got in
18:37this beef
18:37with uh
18:38the directors
18:39there were
18:40some twins
18:40who were brothers
18:41that were directing
18:42the movie
18:42uh-huh
18:42yeah
18:43the Hughes brothers
18:43yeah
18:44the Hughes brothers
18:44and uh
18:45so I knew who he was
18:47and what was going on
18:48and uh
18:49he was a nice enough
18:50kid
18:50everybody
18:50when I talked to him
18:51he was always nice
18:52but there was an
18:53incident when we were
18:54shooting uh
18:55Juice
18:56I wasn't there
18:56that night
18:57my wife was in it
18:58and she was like
18:58the chubby kid's mom
18:59and so all the mothers
19:02were sitting in the room
19:03and Tupac came through
19:04and he was cussing
19:04somebody out
19:05and yelling
19:05screaming
19:06and my wife
19:07grabbed him
19:08and said
19:08hey
19:09don't you see
19:09all the grown women
19:10and you can't talk
19:11like that
19:11and use that kind
19:12of language
19:12and everybody
19:13and everybody
19:13in the room
19:14was like
19:14yeah
19:15and he
19:17totally apologized
19:19he did
19:19I'm so sorry
19:21that doesn't surprise me
19:22after reading this book
19:23about him
19:24yeah
19:24it was great
19:25and from that point
19:25on every time
19:26he saw my wife
19:27she was like
19:27hey mom
19:27how you doing
19:28although it does
19:30strike me as odd
19:30that your wife
19:32has a problem
19:33with foul language
19:34only in a room
19:37full of grown women
19:38okay
19:39all right
19:39so if it's scripted
19:40no problem
19:42well if I'm at home
19:43it's my house
19:43I can say when I want you
19:44yeah
19:44what were the rules
19:47in your house
19:48like with your daughter
19:49did you have a swear jar
19:50was there anything
19:51like that
19:51no swear jars
19:52in the house
19:52no
19:53did you
19:53um
19:54did you
19:54were you
19:54careful about
19:56how you spoke
19:56in front of your
19:57daughter
19:58when
19:58when she was little
20:00when she was like
20:02eight let's say
20:03eight
20:03no no
20:04no not really
20:05too late by then
20:06and you're
20:11it seems like
20:12everybody curses now
20:13but I feel like
20:14you are like
20:14I mean that's like
20:15the essence of you
20:17especially when we
20:18really first like
20:19fell in love with you
20:20like do you curse
20:21at people on the road
20:22when you're driving
20:23is that something
20:23like is so
20:25I do
20:25yeah
20:25I curse on the car
20:27a lot
20:27and then do they
20:28see that it's you
20:29and are they
20:30how do they react
20:31to that
20:31the interesting thing
20:32about people seeing
20:34me driving is
20:35they always say my
20:35whole name
20:36always
20:37they never look out
20:38and go hey
20:39Sam
20:39they go oh my god
20:40yeah
20:42or I'll uh
20:44I'll uh pull up
20:45next to um
20:45the uh TMZ bus
20:47I'll just wait
20:48I'll sit behind
20:48them
20:49at the red light
20:50and then when the
20:51light's turning
20:51I kind of pull up
20:52next to him
20:53so you see
20:53anybody famous
20:54and they're like
20:54ah
20:55step on
20:57take off
20:58that's a nice
20:59thing to do
20:59yeah
21:00matter of fact
21:00we have something
21:01I'm interested to see
21:02your reaction to
21:03when we come back
21:04and it involves
21:05your full name
21:06and in fact
21:06it is Samuel L. Jackson
21:08he is here with us
21:09the season finale
21:09of Tulsa King
21:11is Sunday
21:11on Paramount Plus
21:13we'll be right back
21:14with Sam
21:14we're asking people
21:20a very important
21:21question today
21:22okay
21:22what does the L
21:24stand for
21:25in Samuel L. Jackson
21:26uh
21:27damn
21:28uh
21:29Lamar
21:30Lily
21:32Lambert
21:34my brain said
21:36legume
21:36but that doesn't
21:37even sound right
21:38at all
21:38luxurious
21:39lurky
21:40lickable
21:42lamello
21:43no that's the
21:44basketball player
21:45liangelo
21:46lester
21:47leeman
21:48lorraine
21:49lafontaine
21:50leslie jackson
21:52samuel lee jackson
21:54that's halfway there
21:56what if I said
21:56that was halfway
21:57correct
21:57samuel lee
22:00and jackson
22:00l jackson
22:03leroy
22:04honestly
22:05you got it
22:07in one baby
22:07are you serious
22:08wow
22:09you get to keep
22:10that thought
22:10oh wow
22:11that's dope
22:12thank you
22:12take it home
22:13and cherish it
22:14forever
22:14c.m.
22:18c.m.
22:18c.m.
22:18that's so amazing
22:20how would have been
22:20my first catch
22:21it's totally crazy
22:23because every time
22:23I check into a hotel
22:24room in Europe
22:26it's welcome
22:27samuel lee jackson
22:28i have no idea
22:29where they came from
22:30but they all think
22:31it's just lee
22:32lee is the name
22:33of the character
22:33you play
22:34in this
22:35well new show
22:36and also
22:36in uh
22:37in
22:38telsa king
22:38as well
22:39yeah
22:39yeah i did that
22:40because i was
22:41supposed to
22:41well usually
22:42that's the time
22:42i'm on the boat
22:43with ervin
22:44but once they told
22:45me you weren't
22:46coming i decided
22:46i could take a job
22:47so i did
22:49and then my wife
22:50extended two weeks
22:51in her broadway show
22:52because she found out
22:53you weren't coming
22:54so she stayed at work
22:55she did
22:56i ruined the whole
22:56summer for everyone
22:57i have to say
22:58no one was more
22:59upset about that
23:00than me
23:00yeah magic
23:01somehow i don't
23:02believe that
23:02well
23:03oh believe it
23:04believe it
23:05i actually yelled
23:06at my wife
23:06about it this morning
23:07well it's okay
23:08look
23:09your place
23:11on the list
23:11will always be
23:12there
23:13you
23:13i mean you've gone
23:14down a bit
23:15on the list
23:16yeah yeah
23:16you're not on top
23:16anymore
23:17i feel like
23:17you gotta work
23:18your way back up
23:19for people who don't
23:20know what this is
23:21you and magic
23:22go on this
23:22incredible vacation
23:23every summer
23:24you're on this boat
23:25together
23:26it looks like
23:26the most fun
23:27and for something
23:28like 12 years
23:29i've been
23:30not just begging magic
23:31to come on the trip
23:32but photoshopping
23:33myself into
23:34your vacations
23:35yeah
23:36years and years
23:37and years
23:37to the point
23:38where people think
23:38i'm actually
23:39on the vacations
23:40anthony anderson
23:41who was there
23:42said hey
23:42where are you
23:43i'm looking at
23:44your instagram
23:44uh
23:45i'm looking for you
23:47i was like
23:47i'm at home
23:48right now
23:48so last year
23:49magic actually
23:50invited me
23:51to come on
23:52the trip
23:52and we couldn't
23:53come on the trip
23:55that at that time
23:56he also didn't
23:57tell me when
23:58the trip was
23:58until the like
23:59kind of the last
24:00minute
24:00really
24:01does he do that
24:02to you
24:02i mean out of all
24:03these years
24:03you've been following
24:04you didn't know
24:04like okay
24:05at the beginning
24:06of july
24:06we're on this boat
24:08i'm not that smart
24:09sam
24:09i'm not
24:10i did not
24:11i'm just now
24:12having that realization
24:13every year
24:14there's a fourth
24:15of july picture
24:16of us celebrating
24:17on that boat
24:17every year
24:19but it's okay
24:20like i said
24:21you know
24:21you're still
24:22on the list
24:22you're good
24:22yeah okay good
24:23well um
24:24and please mention
24:24it to magic
24:25for me
24:26if you would
24:26sylvester stallone
24:28is this a guy
24:28you're friendly
24:29with that you know
24:30i've known
24:31sly for a while
24:32how do you know
24:32him
24:32um well
24:34first of all
24:35we live in
24:35sort of
24:36sort of live
24:37in the same
24:37complex
24:38used to
24:38in beverly park
24:40but he lived
24:40on the side
24:41where the rich
24:41people live
24:42he does
24:42yeah
24:43uh you know
24:44big old
24:45big big
24:45big monuments
24:46to people's
24:46wealth
24:46on that side
24:47i see
24:47but he sold
24:48this house
24:48to adele
24:49and now he lives
24:50in florida
24:51so i've known him
24:52though through
24:54planet hollywood
24:55when planet hollywood
24:56first started
24:57they used to have
24:58all these actors
25:00they would bring
25:00he and bruce
25:01and all these other
25:02bruce willis
25:03and all these other
25:04guys who were like
25:05people who had invested
25:06in it would have us
25:07other actors come
25:09and they would give us
25:09like little pieces of it
25:10but we would go to
25:11openings
25:11in miami
25:13or paris
25:14or wherever they
25:15were opening
25:15the brand new
25:16planet hollywood
25:16we would show up
25:17so i knew
25:18slap through that
25:19in that way
25:19all that time
25:20through all those years
25:21when he was a big
25:22big big big star
25:23and now you guys
25:24play uh like old pals
25:26and this is leading
25:27toward a spin-off
25:29of your own
25:29right
25:30and that show
25:31will be called what
25:32nola king
25:33nola king
25:34yeah i'm going back
25:35to new orleans
25:35we got tulsa king
25:36and now we have
25:37nola king
25:38you're the nola king
25:40i'll yeah
25:40i'll be the nola king
25:41you shoot that
25:42in new orleans
25:43i hope so
25:44i love shooting
25:45in new orleans
25:46you haven't
25:47no one
25:47mentioned any of that
25:48they said it
25:49they say it
25:50but then you know
25:51you start hearing
25:51other cities
25:52because you know
25:53every everybody
25:53has these tax incentives
25:54all these states
25:55are trying to get
25:56people grab them
25:57grab them
25:57grab them
25:57right
25:58right
25:58whoever gives them
25:59the best deal
26:00like they really need it
26:02you know
26:02you will go wherever
26:03you're
26:03bought paramount plus
26:04or whatever
26:04you're needed
26:05yeah
26:05yeah so why
26:06why are you trying
26:06to work cheap
26:07let's go to new orleans
26:09yeah
26:10you also are
26:10a narrator
26:12on the new
26:12ken burns documentary
26:14one voice of many
26:16the american revolution
26:18yeah and the american
26:19revolution
26:19are you a guy who watches
26:20all those ken burns
26:21documentaries
26:21i've been in a bunch of
26:23them and yeah i watch
26:24them
26:24yeah yeah they're good
26:25right
26:25yeah jack johnson and
26:27baseball and some other
26:29stuff
26:29yeah well it's very good
26:30to see you
26:31um i really do hope
26:32that i'm still on the list
26:33uh not the epstein list
26:35of course
26:35the magic johnson list
26:40if you would put in a word
26:42i would appreciate it
26:43greatly
26:43always
26:44right
26:45mustard you know
26:47what i'm saying
26:47yeah
26:49thank you for being here
26:55always my pleasure
26:56samuel l jackson
26:57everybody
26:57the season finale
26:59of consultancy
27:00sunday on paramount plus
27:01we'll be back
27:02in this time
27:03we have music from eric
27:17church coming up
27:17our next guest has been
27:19meeting out justice for
27:20three glorious seasons of
27:22television watch miss pat
27:24settles it tuesday nights
27:25on bet all rise for the
27:27honorable miss pat
27:29it's very good to see you
27:48how are you
27:49i'm fine
27:50did you get to meet sam jackson
27:51i'm so happy to follow sam
27:53jackson because everybody's
27:54here i'm i'm the female him
27:56not the acting the cursing
27:58because i can curse just like
28:00him
28:00yeah maybe even more so huh
28:03uh probably yeah i'm a little
28:04bit more so i'm a black mama i
28:06know how to get out
28:07uh-huh
28:07you do you've been very busy
28:10haven't you you have so many
28:11different things you got your
28:13sitcom you got your court show
28:14that i was just talking about
28:16you're obviously um do you do
28:18stand-up comedy
28:19i'm on tour
28:20uh-huh oh you're on tour right
28:21now yes
28:22oh
28:22who are you touring with
28:24i'm touring by myself
28:26you're going by yourself
28:27i don't like to share the money
28:28you
28:29you got your podcast also
28:33don't didn't you tour with um
28:35like bert kreischer um
28:37i did
28:37you did okay so you share with
28:39him
28:40uh let me tell you what bert kreischer
28:42did to me
28:42okay good good
28:43i flew private for the first time
28:45i have never flown private
28:46i like to fly delta because i'm a
28:48million miler so i'm important to
28:51delta
28:51yeah
28:51so he said miss pat can i see your
28:54flight and fly to canada with me and
28:56i'm private i'm like okay i've never
28:57flown private we get to canada and
29:01border patrol is everywhere and i'm
29:03like why they out here like this i'm
29:05american what's going on they run up on
29:07the plane and they say who been to
29:09jail and bert kreischer look at me and
29:11say say no
29:11say no i'm like bert kreischer this is border
29:17patrol not paw patrol
29:18the hell is wrong with you so whitney
29:22cummings is in the bathroom right and i we you
29:25know we brought food and stuff over
29:27there but in canada you can't bring your
29:29fruits and vegetables so we got him and i
29:30just kicked him up under the thing because
29:32he says is there anything on the plane
29:34i'm like no you know i'm lying
29:35whitney cummings come out the bathroom
29:37and say hey we got apples oranges banana
29:39i'm like what the hell are you on so
29:43they take everybody off the plane and
29:45they get down to me and my assistant and
29:47they tell my assistant that she's a
29:49convicted felon and her bottom lip
29:51started shaking and i looked at her and
29:53i was like you a criminal i can't hang
29:55out with criminals and then finally she
29:58turned out to be clear it was me so
30:00burt and i tried to tell burt i said
30:04burt let me just tell the truth he's
30:06like don't tell the truth you ain't been
30:07in jail i said i've been in jail for
30:09selling cocaine burt
30:12he was like stick to the lie so i'm
30:14texting my husband i hate white people
30:17i'm like burt we don't have the same
30:23privilege i'm going to jail and so
30:26finally you know they take me out the
30:28plane and they tell me that you know i
30:31can't be coming into canada like that i
30:32need to get my paperwork right and they
30:34took my passport and they let me perform and i told them i said you know what america is so crazy right now y'all can keep me if you don't put me in jail
30:42yeah why not yeah but they put me back on the plane the next day oh so the the paperwork was not in order but they were no i'm a convicted fella and i have never been caught going into canada out of about 15 years for some reason they ran my background and i was the only criminal on that plane and i knew they was coming to get me all i saw were big guns and my heart didn't even jump because you know i've been shot a couple times
31:12and i've been arrested
31:19and so i look at burt and i said if they lock
31:20and i said if they lock me up you're gonna get me out because you got more money than me
31:24and you told me to get on this private plane when i told you delta meant everything
31:28and they let you do the show the show went well and they paid me and they told me to go home
31:41all right all right and don't come back and don't come back well until i get everything
31:46straight okay i was getting a lot of stuff off of my background already she said she saw it
31:50i had nine felon that's already off my background and it was only three more when i got to canada
31:57well you know maybe the next time you'll have none on or maybe there'll be some new ones
32:00oh there ain't gonna be no new one okay all right good i'm i'm 52 years old and i'm here to tell you
32:06that food uh puff daddy eating ain't good
32:11now you
32:14perhaps you could have mentioned that you are a judge you are you know really like a
32:20a member of uh i don't know the law the law you're part of you're meeting out justice
32:25on ms pat they didn't care about that that didn't matter no it don't matter when you're a convicted
32:32felon and you're a judge okay who gonna believe you well i mean just the fact that you've been
32:37named to judge is impressive and yes so on your show when you are making these decisions you're not
32:43consulting the law books or anything like that no i do law like trump do yeah
32:50you shoot from the hip
32:54baby we don't read we just talk
32:59your own children are on the show this season they are on the show and i did not know my kids was
33:05going to be on the show when i heard their name but what happened was somebody dropped out
33:09and my my kids told them they had a case so i hear their last name which is late and i'm like that name
33:14sound familiar is my baby daddy here suing one of his baby mama because there's 15 of us and so
33:24come on white people catch
33:29so in walk in walk my kids and i'm like my kids and so they come in and they suing each other because
33:36my daughter well she's a lesbian she took her brother to the club to pick up some girls well not pick up
33:42some girls for a script club but he didn't have no money so he spent her money she wanted her money
33:47back so i'm like why would you take this broke boy with three kids and a wife to a script club he can't
33:51pay you back so she's suing him so i said wait a minute y'all owe me money i just got your teeth fixed
33:57you never paid me for getting your teeth fixed do you know my daughter had eight teeth and now she got
34:05a mouthful because i sent her to the dominican republican who did yes i was tired of her dating
34:12them women with all that whistle while you twerk coming out of her mouth
34:18and so she brought with her new smile she said hey i'm going to bring my brother to the strip club
34:24and we're going to enjoy ourselves but was there a deal made prior to their it was a deal made prior
34:30and they had been arguing about this for over a year she wanted her money but he threw 200 at the
34:35scrippers oh and he also bought wings because my son my son loved eating at the script club okay
34:42the script club and the gas station my son is so close to death it's ridiculous okay
34:47he would eat a gas station hot dog standing over the grill like he had a four-star restaurant so they
34:55get the argument over this over this 200 or the amount of money i don't remember how much it was
35:00and i told him neither one of y'all can have some money plus they worked for me on the show i was like
35:04take them damn outfits off and go back to work she do makeup and he did transportation why y'all in
35:12here suing each other so you made no ruling in this particular case i sure did i said get the
35:17hell out of my courtroom both of them were found guilty yes both of them they owe me i paid his day
35:24care for for five years for his twins and i bought her some tea is it possible for you to sue your own
35:32children on the show or would you have to go to another show for that you know what i should have
35:36sued him i should have jumped down and ran back up jumped down and ran back up maybe season four
35:41well i'll tell you i didn't do it because that's a lot of work jumping down and running back up
35:48and i didn't want to be out of breath so i just said get out my courtroom yeah well i think you did
35:52the right thing i think you i think some valuable lessons were learned yeah uh valuable lessons are
35:56always learned when you're a mom i'm telling you yeah that's the only job we cannot retire from that
36:02well yeah no yeah you can't retire from that job no you cannot yeah you can expire from it but you can't
36:07retire from you know what i'm about to expire now you know i'm going through menopause i'm up here
36:12sweating like i'm on a treadmill are you because you think oh no are you going through menopause i'm
36:17going through me oh and no pause you hear me hey it's so much sweat running down my back right now
36:25really i can give you a cup of water
36:30guillermo grab a squeegee will you
36:33if you grab some crystal light you got a good drink
36:38miz pat everybody miz pat centers with two good nights 10 o'clock on bvc we'll be back with eric church
36:49i may never be what you call a rock star it's cool if i don't get there
37:17i'll die to center with a guitar a johnny cash metal finger in there i'm making a living on
37:24what's some tip job i'll burn out like a neon bus i've been nothing but my old man son on the best
37:33damn thing there ever was but i keep on singing what i know between a minor and a major i keep pulling
37:42out a bit of sweet and nothing ain't the latest flavor a little bit of devil a little bit of saving
37:49whole lot of life cutting black or raisin with some blue ink a blank page and a whole sick screen
37:56i bleed on pace
38:10Yeah, I met a man at the crossroads
38:24A certain time with a smile like gold
38:27He tried making me a deal
38:29Like I had me up on a self-sign
38:31Hanging on my soul
38:33He said all I had to do
38:35Was change my tune
38:36And I could cash that check
38:39But I don't like the feel of a rattlesnake
38:43Blue heel on my neck
38:45So I keep on singing what I know
38:48Between a minor and a major
38:50I keep pulling out the bill
38:53Sweet and never ain't the latest flavor
38:56A little bit of hell, a little bit of saving
38:59A whole lot of life cutting like a razor
39:02With some blue ink, a blank pen, an old six-string
39:07And I read on paper
39:10I'm pulling out my heart and showing me scars
39:20Yeah, that's the pocket piece
39:22I'm chasing one more song
39:25It cuts to the bone
39:26Three, one, yeah
39:28But I keep on singing what I know
39:37Between a minor and a major
39:40I keep pulling out the bill
39:43Sweet and never ain't the latest flavor
39:46A runnin' with the devil
39:47He'll ride me to save it
39:49A whole lot of life cutting like a razor
39:52With some blue ink, a blank page, an old six-string
39:56You're half-lead on paper
39:59You're half-lead on paper
40:05You're half-lead on paper
40:07You're half-lead on paper
40:09You're half-lead on paper
40:11You're half-lead on paper
40:13You're half-lead on paper
40:17I wanna thank Samuel L. Jackson, Ms. Pat, and Eric Church.
40:47I would like to apologize profusely to Matt Damon.
40:50We ran out of time for him.
40:52Nightline is next.
40:54Good night.
41:17Good night.
41:47Good night.
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