- 17 hours ago
The Movie Full Movie Free Online
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00:00:00Delivery!
00:00:07Delivery!
00:00:16What's that?
00:00:19I just deliver them.
00:00:21I didn't order anything that big.
00:00:24Does it say who it's from?
00:00:26No return address.
00:00:28Isn't that odd?
00:00:31What is?
00:00:32A package this big with no return address.
00:00:35Well, I don't know what size has to do with it,
00:00:37but it's not unprecedented.
00:00:39Uh, well, what if I don't sign for it?
00:00:41I don't understand.
00:00:43I mean, what if I don't sign, you know, your clipboard thingy?
00:00:46Well, then I can't release the package to you.
00:00:49Release?
00:00:51Industry jargon means give.
00:00:53I can't give you the package if you don't sign for it.
00:00:56Ah, okay.
00:00:59So, do you want it or not?
00:01:01I don't know what it is.
00:01:02But that's the fun of it.
00:01:04It's a surprise.
00:01:05You like surprises, don't you?
00:01:13Great.
00:01:14Where's it headed?
00:01:15Oh, I'll bring it in myself.
00:01:17Oh, I don't know.
00:01:18It's pretty heavy, hence the dolly.
00:01:24What company did you say you were with again?
00:01:26JB Solutions.
00:01:27And what is that?
00:01:29It's a delivery service.
00:01:30White glove.
00:01:33Um, okay.
00:01:35Uh, I guess, you know, you could just put it right here.
00:01:38You want it right there?
00:01:40Do you have a problem with that?
00:01:41No, no, it's just I got wheels.
00:01:44I can put it anywhere.
00:01:46Here is fine.
00:01:50There's great.
00:01:57Careful!
00:01:58I wouldn't worry about that.
00:01:59I can help you put it together for you, too, if you want.
00:02:02If it even needs assembly and comes with the right tools.
00:02:04I'm not a great builder, but I'm a good builder.
00:02:07I'm a solid builder.
00:02:08And you're my last drop of the night,
00:02:10so there's nowhere else I need to be.
00:02:13Well, who's to say I can't put it together myself?
00:02:15I've made it this long.
00:02:16I must be doing something right.
00:02:17Oh, I didn't mean pay women's rights.
00:02:21My mom was a woman.
00:02:22I just meant if you want help, I'm happy to help.
00:02:27Isn't it a little late to be doing deliveries?
00:02:30Oh, we deliver till 8.
00:02:31It's 8.45.
00:02:35We deliver till 9.
00:02:41Well, thanks.
00:02:44Thanks a bunch.
00:02:45Anytime.
00:02:54Oh, my God!
00:02:57I just realized who you are!
00:02:59Did you?
00:03:00I knew you looked familiar.
00:03:03Is this really you?
00:03:04I used to love you.
00:03:05You used to be the best.
00:03:07Thanks, I think.
00:03:08That sounded bad, like you're no longer great.
00:03:10But you're still good.
00:03:13Sure, just perfectly fine.
00:03:16Seriously, though, what happened to you?
00:03:18You used to be everywhere.
00:03:19And then just one day, one day...
00:03:23You look old.
00:03:24Excuse me?
00:03:25What kind of shit is that to say to somebody?
00:03:27No, no.
00:03:28I just meant it's probably why I didn't recognize you at first is all.
00:03:30You know?
00:03:31Oh, my God.
00:03:32Way to the guys hear about this.
00:03:33You think I can get an autograph?
00:03:35I think I gave you one of those already.
00:03:38My clipboard.
00:03:39Clever girl.
00:03:40I'm gonna have to frame that.
00:03:42How about a selfie then?
00:03:43Uh...
00:03:44I left my selfie stick in a truck, so we'll just have to squeeze.
00:03:48Wait, did a guy see this?
00:03:51What did you say your name was again?
00:03:53Walter.
00:03:55Walter is my name.
00:03:57And you are Janet Gillespie.
00:03:59That's me.
00:04:00I am shaking the head of Janet Gillespie.
00:04:02Oh, my God!
00:04:03Well, Walter, my boyfriend, is gonna be here any minute now,
00:04:06so this is where I have to say goodbye.
00:04:08Now, hang on, now, hang on.
00:04:10I mean, I didn't even get a chance to, like...
00:04:11How often do I get a chance to...
00:04:13A chance to what?
00:04:15A chance to pitch you my screenplay.
00:04:17Screenplay?
00:04:18Yeah!
00:04:19You'd be great for it.
00:04:20Actually, you'd be kind of perfect.
00:04:22Would I?
00:04:23Hey, you never know.
00:04:25Could be your big comeback.
00:04:27My big comeback.
00:04:28Hey!
00:04:29You never know.
00:04:30You know, I don't only drive a truck.
00:04:31You know, I'm a man of many talents.
00:04:33I write, I act, I direct, I do a voiceover.
00:04:36So what do you say?
00:04:37You wanna hear my pitch?
00:04:39Sure, but, you know, scripts usually come through my agent,
00:04:42so you can just...
00:04:43Great!
00:04:44It's about this...
00:04:45No, sorry.
00:04:46No, I said...
00:04:47I said scripts usually come through my agent,
00:04:48so you're more than welcome to submit that.
00:04:50No...
00:04:52You said sure.
00:04:54I don't understand.
00:04:55It's like you're saying one thing,
00:04:56but you're meaning another.
00:04:57Didn't you say your boyfriend was on his way home?
00:05:00Where is he, you know?
00:05:02I don't see him.
00:05:03Wait, uh...
00:05:05You know what I think?
00:05:08I think you said that just to get me out of here.
00:05:10But no, no, no.
00:05:11No, you're right.
00:05:12You're right.
00:05:13It's unprofessional.
00:05:14I'll send it to your agent,
00:05:15so he can throw it in the trash.
00:05:17Better yet, save the postage.
00:05:18You got a shredder?
00:05:19Hey, Janet, your agent's a douchebag, all right?
00:05:21He doesn't give a shit about you, Janet.
00:05:23He doesn't care about you, Janet.
00:05:25I'm offering you something real here, Janet.
00:05:27Like, man to woman, Janet.
00:05:29Why won't you hear me out, Janet?
00:05:31Janet!
00:05:32Why won't you hear me out?
00:05:33Roger, calm down.
00:05:34Calm down.
00:05:35I want to hear you out.
00:05:37Okay?
00:05:38I want to hear you out.
00:05:44Beg me.
00:05:47You gotta be kidding me.
00:05:49Beg me.
00:05:53Okay?
00:05:56Please, Walter, please pitch me your pitch.
00:05:59I want to hear your pitch.
00:06:00Please pitch me your pitch.
00:06:02Fine.
00:06:04It's about this creepy delivery guy
00:06:06who tortures this washed-up actress in her own home.
00:06:16I'm just kidding, Janet!
00:06:18Oh, my God, relax.
00:06:19I'm just kidding.
00:06:21God!
00:06:22It's actually really sweet.
00:06:24It's a love story about this lady
00:06:26who falls for a plumber
00:06:27while he's over fixing her leaky refrigerator.
00:06:29Just read the first page and you'll see,
00:06:33because it's that obvious.
00:06:34I swear, you're gonna win awards.
00:06:36Go ahead, you'll see.
00:06:37Go ahead.
00:06:39Oh, my God, this whole thing's an act.
00:06:41What whole thing?
00:06:42Your whole thing.
00:06:44You knew who I was this entire time.
00:06:46How do you figure?
00:06:48You just happen to have that script with you?
00:06:51Well, I mean, it's L.A.
00:06:52You never know whose package you might deliver.
00:06:58Right. Okay.
00:06:59Okay.
00:07:00Um...
00:07:03Well...
00:07:05Why don't you leave it with me
00:07:07and I'll look over it this weekend?
00:07:09Mmm...
00:07:10I don't think so.
00:07:12Why not?
00:07:13Because then this weekend's gonna come
00:07:14and, of course, something's gonna come up
00:07:16and, of course, your weekdays are slammed
00:07:17and you're hosting that bridal shower next weekend.
00:07:19How did you...
00:07:20Next thing you know, six months later,
00:07:22my script's still sitting right where you left it.
00:07:24I wanna be there when you read it.
00:07:26I wanna see you react.
00:07:29No, um, Walter, that's not how it works.
00:07:31I'm sorry, but it's not.
00:07:34Look, you can leave it behind
00:07:35and I will email you my notes.
00:07:38I don't want your notes.
00:07:39Every turd burglar in this town has a note.
00:07:42You think I give a shit about a single one of them?
00:07:44I don't think you understand
00:07:45what's happening here, Janet.
00:07:48This script is magic.
00:07:51I am a fucking magician.
00:07:53I'm gonna make your career reappear.
00:07:57Feedback. Not notes.
00:07:58I'll email you my feedback.
00:08:00Uh-uh.
00:08:03Okay.
00:08:04Well then, Walter,
00:08:05I'm afraid you're gonna have to take your script
00:08:07and leave.
00:08:08This is the opportunity of a lifetime, Janet.
00:08:10And I'm not gonna let you pass it up.
00:08:12Just, just come on.
00:08:14Please, just come on.
00:08:15Just read, read the first page.
00:08:17You'll see.
00:08:18It's obvious.
00:08:19I swear you'll love it.
00:08:20Just read the first page and you will see.
00:08:22I'm gonna change the game with this one.
00:08:24We're gonna.
00:08:26If I read the first page for you,
00:08:29will you get out of here?
00:08:31Sure.
00:08:33Like, this is the correct column.
00:08:34I'll leave it under.
00:08:51Bye-bye.
00:08:52that's it i did what i said i would do well were you reading or paying attention or were you just
00:09:08moving your eyeballs i paid attention
00:09:09it's just not up to your standards then why don't you read it again aloud no walter i did what i said
00:09:20i was gonna do now you fulfill your end of the bargain yeah i don't think so
00:09:24i'm sorry i'm not leaving to you agree to be in my movie janet i'm not gonna say it again walter
00:09:34now kindly get the fuck out of my house now yeah i think i'll stay a little longer
00:09:41but you said you would leave after i read the first page
00:09:49no i said sure you know what sure means right janet
00:09:54whoa what are you doing what are you doing you can't do that that that's mine
00:10:01you didn't think this was actually for you did you janet it's just my way to get inside your door
00:10:06it's all an act remember i'm no delivery boy i had this hat made at the mall
00:10:12what the hell's a jimpy solution anyway it's just so random
00:10:17what's in that box oh just some things just some some gear and props and things for what
00:10:23for shooting it shooting what shooting our movie silly we're shooting it tonight right here in your
00:10:31house you see how convenient that is we come to you hope you got good lighting
00:10:37you play the girl i'll play the guy i already memorized my line so i hope you're a quick study
00:10:42oh my god
00:10:44you're serious well yeah i'm not leaving till this movie's in the can janet
00:10:51what are you doing
00:11:05you did this to yourself jack
00:11:07where's the closet
00:11:12what what a closet you know hangers rods jacket
00:11:16in the hallway over there in the hallway
00:11:19help i give you this amazing opportunity janet and that's the thanks that i get you push me over
00:11:25when i'm not looking better off not putting up a fight you know
00:11:29not like anyone else is casting you in anything
00:11:32no no no
00:11:34that's what you get
00:11:37why are you doing this to me
00:11:40why aren't you cooperating with me janet
00:11:43you're a sick freak this is never gonna work
00:11:47not with that attitude it won't
00:11:49you don't have to do this to me
00:11:51please why why are you doing this
00:11:55i suggest you read that script
00:12:10it's been a long summer break
00:12:21got some things so busy
00:12:25maybe when i see
00:12:27maybe when i see
00:12:40maybe when i see
00:12:42maybe when i see
00:12:44maybe when i see
00:12:46maybe when i see
00:12:47maybe when i see
00:12:48maybe when i see
00:12:49maybe when i see
00:12:51i see
00:12:56i have left all the way
00:12:59to the morning
00:13:02i have left all the way
00:13:07to the morning
00:13:09i have left all the way
00:13:13to the morning
00:13:14All the way to the moor
00:13:19Peace offering?
00:13:24Kale, almond butter, almond milk, banana and flaxseed
00:13:26Just the way you like it
00:13:27So says Us Weekly
00:13:28Issue 929, December 3rd, 2012
00:13:30Hope they got it right
00:13:33Go ahead
00:13:34See?
00:13:40I'm not such a bad guy
00:13:43So, is you reading my script?
00:13:45I tried
00:13:46But my hands are cuffed
00:13:49Oh, yeah
00:13:50How's she supposed to turn the page
00:13:53With her hands taped behind her back, Walter?
00:13:55Stupid, stupid, stupid!
00:13:59Keep drinking
00:14:00One more
00:14:09Mama needs her energy
00:14:11It's gonna be a long night
00:14:15Good
00:14:23Up's a daisy now
00:14:26You changed?
00:14:35Into my costume, yeah
00:14:37What do you think?
00:14:39Instant Gustav, right?
00:14:41Who?
00:14:42Gustav
00:14:43My character
00:14:44You'd know that if you read the script, Janet
00:14:47I found your phone, by the way
00:14:50You want it?
00:14:53Yes
00:14:54No
00:15:04So, I'll stick and we start with the audition
00:15:09The what?
00:15:11The audition
00:15:12I just need to know that you can do this, Janet
00:15:14I mean, you're kinda out of practice
00:15:16When's the last movie you were in?
00:15:18That doesn't matter
00:15:18I was nominated for an Oscar
00:15:20But it's part of my whole deal, Janet
00:15:22If you don't like it, go be a dental hygienist
00:15:24With that attitude over there
00:15:25Do I need to throw you back in the closet for a little longer?
00:15:29That's shutter up
00:15:30I'm your knight in shining armor, Janet
00:15:32I'm trying to save you
00:15:34But I can't save you if you're not save-able
00:15:38You know what I mean?
00:15:41Not really
00:15:42So you stand there
00:15:46And I'll sit here on this couch here
00:15:49It's a casting couch
00:15:53Oh yeah
00:15:57All right
00:16:12So, for this audition
00:16:14I was thinking that you'd do your big monologue for Mother May I
00:16:16Uh, the movie from when I was ten?
00:16:20Yeah, you remember it, don't you?
00:16:22I think so
00:16:23Great
00:16:24When you're ready
00:16:26I-I need to be uncuffed for that speech
00:16:31Oh, and why's that?
00:16:34Uh, to do it right
00:16:35I need to use my arms, you know, to act properly
00:16:38Nice try, Janet
00:16:40But it's just some words
00:16:41Just say the words
00:16:43You don't need your arms
00:16:44The girl in the movie didn't use her arms
00:16:46She was just standing in the doorway
00:16:48Well, actually, she was pretty animated, so
00:16:50Fine
00:16:54I'll do it like this
00:16:55I'll do it like this
00:16:57State your name and age before you begin
00:17:01Janet Gillespie, 38 years old
00:17:0542 years old
00:17:09I'm 44, all right?
00:17:18All right, all right
00:17:20When you're ready
00:17:23Mommy, cut
00:17:29What was that?
00:17:31What?
00:17:32That
00:17:32You're doing it like you would today
00:17:34Like your 44-year-old self would do it with your 77-year-old mom
00:17:37How did you?
00:17:37I want you to do it like you did it when you did it
00:17:40Not like, mommy, but like, mommy!
00:17:45You want me to do baby voice?
00:17:49Now she's getting it
00:17:52When you're ready
00:17:54Mommy?
00:18:04That's it
00:18:06I can't sweep
00:18:07The monster's back and he's kicking my bed
00:18:13Can I sweep with you tonight, mommy?
00:18:17I'll be good, please, mommy, I'm scared
00:18:20I know you said no more sweepovers
00:18:23But it's, this isn't like before
00:18:26He's taunting me, mommy
00:18:28He's chanting
00:18:31Tonight
00:18:33Tonight
00:18:34Tonight
00:18:36Over and over and over
00:18:39Please don't let him hurt me like you do, mommy
00:18:44Bravo, madam
00:18:51Bravo
00:18:53That
00:18:54Was exquisite
00:18:55I mean, you flubbed a few lines here and there
00:18:57But
00:18:58Who's counting?
00:19:00Me
00:19:00But still
00:19:02Quite good
00:19:03Did I get the part?
00:19:06We'll let you know
00:19:07Janet Rose Gillespie
00:19:13Will you play Claudia St. Germain d'Agostino Schwartz
00:19:17In my film, Water Under the Fridge?
00:19:20Do I have a choice?
00:19:22No
00:19:23Then I guess so
00:19:25Great
00:19:26Well, let's get you in wardrobe and shoot the fucker, eh?
00:19:38This is the dress from Mother May I
00:19:41Oh
00:19:42Huh?
00:19:43I guess it kind of is
00:19:44I'll leave you with that
00:19:46You're shooting this POV?
00:19:51The what now?
00:19:53Point of view
00:19:53From the character's perspective
00:19:56Oh, POV
00:19:59I thought you said POB
00:20:02I was like
00:20:03Never heard that film term before
00:20:05It's amateur
00:20:06As a matter of fact, I am
00:20:08That way I won't incriminate myself on camera
00:20:10It's genius, right?
00:20:13I thought it through, Janet
00:20:14Have you ever made a movie before?
00:20:17I resent that
00:20:18What?
00:20:19You think I'm some novice
00:20:20Doesn't know what he's doing?
00:20:20I was just wondering if I had seen your work
00:20:23Well, that depends
00:20:25You ever watch hidden camera videos from the women's restroom?
00:20:27You can't say that I have
00:20:29Well, then you probably haven't seen my work
00:20:31When you're ready?
00:20:40Ready
00:20:41Oh, ready?
00:20:43Took me a month to memorize those lines
00:20:44And I wrote them
00:20:45Quiet on the set
00:20:47Always wanted to say that
00:20:50I'm glad you could fulfill your
00:20:52Quiet on the set, Janet
00:20:53What the fuck?
00:20:54Rolling
00:21:07Rolling
00:21:07Scene one
00:21:08Action
00:21:11Ma'am?
00:21:15Yes
00:21:16Hi
00:21:17Hello
00:21:18How are you?
00:21:20I'm good
00:21:21How are you?
00:21:23I am well
00:21:23As you?
00:21:25I am fine
00:21:26Me too
00:21:27Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
00:21:28It's me
00:21:30Gustav
00:21:31I am the plumber that is fixing a leak in your refrigerator
00:21:34Here in your house
00:21:36In the United States of America
00:21:38Oh, yes
00:21:42Hi, Gustav
00:21:43I thought I recognized you
00:21:45I'm Claudia Sanjumet D'Agostino Schwartz
00:21:47We met at the door a little over one hour ago
00:21:50And I let you in to fix a leak in my refrigerator
00:21:52You are correct about the timeline
00:21:55I too remember this
00:21:57I too remember these things
00:21:59Thank you
00:22:01So, how about the weather?
00:22:04Beautiful, isn't it?
00:22:06And your children?
00:22:07Dead
00:22:08Hey
00:22:10Would you like some spaghetti and meatballs?
00:22:12Hold
00:22:14And cut
00:22:18Yes
00:22:20I can't believe this is actually happening
00:22:24So, how did that feel for you?
00:22:27I felt okay
00:22:27Yeah?
00:22:29Well, I thought you totally brought it, Janet
00:22:31That's a compliment
00:22:33Thanks
00:22:36Uh-huh
00:22:37All right
00:22:38Let's keep it going
00:22:39You remember that scene too, huh?
00:22:41We'll shoot it in order
00:22:42I just gotta go grab some shit
00:22:45Hey, I'm just curious
00:22:47When does Claudia get out of this thing?
00:22:52Spoiler alert!
00:22:55No, no
00:22:56I won't give it away
00:22:57It's just
00:22:58It's kind of uncomfortable
00:23:00Is it?
00:23:05Could you at least uncuff my wrists?
00:23:07I'll keep them behind me
00:23:08It's just
00:23:09It's really, really tight
00:23:10Yeah, I don't think so, Janet
00:23:13It's only compelling if it's real
00:23:15No, it has to be real
00:23:17That's my whole deal
00:23:18You see?
00:23:20See the pain you're bringing to this moment?
00:23:22That should be in my film
00:23:23But no one will know the difference
00:23:26I don't know
00:23:27This is a real film we're making here, okay, Janet?
00:23:31This isn't some, uh
00:23:32Some after-school special
00:23:34Rolling
00:23:45Scene two
00:23:47And action
00:23:49Can I get you something to drink?
00:23:53It depends
00:23:54What do you have?
00:23:55Wine, liquor, orange juice, water
00:23:59I take a beer
00:24:00Thanks
00:24:01You know what?
00:24:06I grab it myself
00:24:07To new best friends
00:24:18To new best friends
00:24:20Hey
00:24:34You aren't Latvian, are you?
00:24:49Hell no
00:24:50Oh, good
00:24:51I hate Latvians
00:24:53Did you always want to be a plumber?
00:24:56Ever since I can remember
00:24:57It's typical
00:24:58I know every little boy's dream
00:25:00What about you?
00:25:02What is it that you do?
00:25:03And did you always want to do it?
00:25:06I'm a nurse at the local hospital
00:25:09You know, the one on the street
00:25:10With the floors and the rooms
00:25:13And the sick people
00:25:14Same
00:25:15Wait for it
00:25:18And cut
00:25:21What?
00:25:26Nothing
00:25:27You sure about that, Janet?
00:25:30Yeah
00:25:31If you say so
00:25:33All right, now in scene three
00:25:36Claudia starts falling for Gustav
00:25:38But just for a brief moment
00:25:40Like
00:25:40Could he be the one?
00:25:43It's just a look
00:25:44And I need you to nail it
00:25:45On my go
00:25:48You got it?
00:25:50Yeah
00:25:50Rolling
00:25:53Scene three
00:25:55And
00:25:57Action
00:25:58So
00:26:00Do you come here often?
00:26:02Can I say that I am?
00:26:04Well then I'll have to show you around
00:26:05I used to do tours at the
00:26:08At the college
00:26:09At the university
00:26:11Those were the days
00:26:12Did you go to college?
00:26:14I visited
00:26:15My friend Phil went
00:26:16Maybe you know him
00:26:18I know Phil very well
00:26:20Great guy
00:26:21The best
00:26:22Funny story about Bill
00:26:24Both his parents died
00:26:26When he was young
00:26:28And he ended up
00:26:29In an orphanage
00:26:30Where he was abused
00:26:30Like every single day
00:26:32He was separated
00:26:34From his brother
00:26:35Who was buried alive
00:26:37All of his aunts and uncles
00:26:42Are in prison for life
00:26:43Without the rule
00:26:45And his grandmother
00:26:48Was born with an upside down
00:26:50Face
00:26:50He was born with an orphanage
00:26:52He was born with an orphanage
00:26:53He was born with an orphanage
00:26:55He was born with an orphanage
00:26:56He was born with an orphanage
00:26:57He was born with an orphanage
00:26:58He was born with an orphanage
00:26:59He was born with an orphanage
00:27:00He was born with an orphanage
00:27:01He was born with an orphanage
00:27:02He was born with an orphanage
00:27:03He was born with an orphanage
00:27:04He was born with an orphanage
00:27:05He was born with an orphanage
00:27:06He was born with an orphanage
00:27:07He was born with an orphanage
00:27:09Say, do you have AIDS?
00:27:25Not that I know of.
00:27:27Too bad.
00:27:28Well, maybe just one aid, but definitely no more than that.
00:27:32Shouldn't it be called hinders, though?
00:27:34Hinders?
00:27:35Yeah.
00:27:36Think about it.
00:27:38They don't aid you.
00:27:39They hinder you.
00:27:41They impede you.
00:27:43Hinders!
00:27:44I never thought about it like that.
00:27:47I'm going to start saying that.
00:27:48You should?
00:27:49I think I will.
00:27:50When?
00:27:51I don't know.
00:27:52How about now?
00:27:53You mean right now?
00:27:54Right now!
00:27:55Screw it.
00:27:56You know what?
00:27:56You're right.
00:27:57Here goes nothing.
00:27:58Hinders.
00:28:00Feels good, doesn't it?
00:28:01It sure is.
00:28:04And how is the spaghetti tasting for you?
00:28:07Good!
00:28:08But I'm allergic to spaghetti, so I might have to poop later.
00:28:14Pretty bad.
00:28:17By the way, do you have any money I can borrow?
00:28:23You mean besides what I owe you for the plumbing?
00:28:25Yes!
00:28:26How much do you need?
00:28:28Actually, you know what?
00:28:29You can have it all.
00:28:31You don't have to pay me back or anything.
00:28:32What's mine is yours.
00:28:34Have at it.
00:28:36Keep standing there.
00:28:39And...
00:28:39Cut!
00:28:41You take good direction.
00:28:44Nice job on that look.
00:28:48Now what?
00:28:50Nothing, Walter.
00:28:51No, Janet.
00:28:52It's the third time you're being all like that between scenes, so just spit it out.
00:28:57You clearly have something on your mind, so just get it off your mind.
00:29:00Or your chest.
00:29:00Or whatever.
00:29:02You know what I mean.
00:29:03Shut up!
00:29:03God!
00:29:04Fine, Walter.
00:29:06I'm sorry, but this movie is ridiculous.
00:29:10In what way?
00:29:12In every way.
00:29:13Why is Claudia attached to this dolly?
00:29:18Why would Claudia invite Gustav for dinner?
00:29:20How did Claudia make dinner in the first place?
00:29:24Why would Claudia offer Gustav all her money?
00:29:27How did Claudia answer the door like this?
00:29:31Literally, everything you've written makes no sense at all.
00:29:41You can't answer any of my questions, can you?
00:29:44Yes, I can.
00:29:45I just don't feel like it right now.
00:29:48What were they again?
00:29:50Why does Claudia fall for this guy?
00:29:52Because it's a love story, and that's what happens in love stories.
00:29:55Love.
00:29:55I know, but what is it about Gustav that Claudia finds so attractive?
00:30:01I don't know.
00:30:03You wrote it.
00:30:04So?
00:30:05So you should know why the characters do what they do.
00:30:09Why is she attached to the dolly?
00:30:12She likes it.
00:30:13Look, we don't have time for this.
00:30:16Just say the lines that I wrote.
00:30:17We're not making this up as we go along.
00:30:20Now, where do you keep your dough?
00:30:22My dough?
00:30:23Your dough.
00:30:24Your dough.
00:30:24The dough you keep in your house.
00:30:26I don't keep any dough in my house.
00:30:28Come again?
00:30:29We are talking about money, right?
00:30:31Yeah, Janet.
00:30:32Dough.
00:30:33Moolah.
00:30:34Shudder.
00:30:34I don't keep any money in my house.
00:30:38Paragraph three, page 166 of your autobiography.
00:30:41Quote.
00:30:43I always keep a pile of cash lying around my house, just in case.
00:30:47Or was that your ghostwriter writing?
00:30:50By the way, it's a pretty dumb thing to stick in your book.
00:30:53It was a lot richer then.
00:30:54Old habits die hard.
00:30:57And it looks like you're doing just fine to me, Janet.
00:31:00Just fine to me.
00:31:03What are you going to do with that?
00:31:10Please, Walter.
00:31:12Please.
00:31:13That's my safety money, and I'm already tapping into it.
00:31:15But, Janet.
00:31:16How am I supposed to pay for all this?
00:31:18Making movies is very expensive.
00:31:20I'll tell you what.
00:31:21I'll give you points on the back end.
00:31:23This thing's going to be the sleeper hit of the summer, Janet.
00:31:25Depending which season it comes out.
00:31:28Fall.
00:31:30Winter.
00:31:33Spring.
00:31:34I know the seasons.
00:31:35Do you?
00:31:40Look!
00:31:41There's a money in it!
00:31:45All right.
00:31:48It's in the crock pot.
00:31:50In the cabinet next to the refrigerator.
00:31:52What is?
00:31:54My money.
00:31:57You keep your money in the crock pot?
00:31:59That's correct.
00:32:00I keep my money in the crock pot.
00:32:02Now, any more questions?
00:32:03But why?
00:32:05Same reason you're asking.
00:32:06Because nobody thinks to look there.
00:32:08I guess not.
00:32:10Hiding in plain sight.
00:32:13You're an evil genius.
00:32:15We're so alike right now.
00:32:19I'm going to go get that.
00:32:20Claudia keeps hers in the couch.
00:32:22Holy shit!
00:32:22How much money is this?
00:32:34Like 30 grand.
00:32:3630 grand?
00:32:37I'm rich, yeah!
00:32:39And action.
00:32:54So, earlier you offered me the monies.
00:32:59Yes, I recall that as well.
00:33:01I should hope so.
00:33:03The memory is a pretty important thing to remember these days.
00:33:06Can you show me where it is?
00:33:09Absolutely.
00:33:11I also have some jewelry if you want that, too.
00:33:14Sure!
00:33:14I take some jewelry.
00:33:16And how about that tour along the way?
00:33:19I drive.
00:33:20You navigate!
00:33:20So, I thought we would start in the kitchen since that is where we are currently at.
00:33:38Damn it!
00:33:39Damn it!
00:33:40Damn it!
00:33:41Damn it!
00:33:42Damn it!
00:33:43Damn it!
00:33:44Damn it!
00:33:45Damn it!
00:33:46Damn it!
00:33:47Damn it!
00:33:48Damn it!
00:33:49Damn it!
00:33:50Damn it!
00:33:51Damn it!
00:33:52Damn it!
00:33:53Damn it!
00:33:54Damn it!
00:33:55Damn it!
00:33:56Damn it!
00:33:57Damn it!
00:33:58Damn it!
00:33:59Damn it!
00:34:00Damn it!
00:34:01Damn it!
00:34:02Damn it!
00:34:03Damn it!
00:34:04Damn it!
00:34:05Damn it!
00:34:06Damn it!
00:34:07Damn it!
00:34:08Damn it!
00:34:09Say that again.
00:34:12So I thought we would start in the kitchen
00:34:15since that is currently where we are at.
00:34:17The kitchen is typically where I cook my food
00:34:20and do my dishes.
00:34:22Sometimes I eat at that thing over there.
00:34:24It's called a table.
00:34:26It's not unlike that other thing we ate at in the dining room.
00:34:29Huh.
00:34:30Those are windows.
00:34:32Are you familiar with windows?
00:34:33Not entirely.
00:34:35Well, they're called windows,
00:34:36and they're made out of glass,
00:34:38so you can see through them when they're shut,
00:34:40or you can open them up for some fresh H2O.
00:34:43Mmm.
00:34:44I love H2O.
00:34:46You can't breathe without it.
00:34:48No, you cannot.
00:34:50Oh, wait.
00:34:52Wait till you see this.
00:34:54Light switch.
00:34:55Oh, interesting.
00:34:57What does it do?
00:34:59It controls the lights.
00:35:00You can flip it up or down to turn them on or off.
00:35:03Can you flip it in the middle?
00:35:04Sometimes.
00:35:05Mmm.
00:35:05Now, wait.
00:35:09Hang on.
00:35:10Back up.
00:35:11You're saying they figured out a way to manufacture light
00:35:14so that we can, like, control it?
00:35:17Aren't inventions neat?
00:35:19They're called light bulbs,
00:35:20and you can find them at the hardware stores.
00:35:23Can you remind me of that later?
00:35:24That's something I should have for my house.
00:35:27It's been getting dark in there at night lately.
00:35:29I can get you a pen if you'd like to write it down.
00:35:32I never learned how.
00:35:34So.
00:35:35What's next?
00:35:37I like your house, by the way.
00:35:39This is the dining room, as you know.
00:35:42Living room.
00:35:48Guest bedroom.
00:35:51Bathroom.
00:35:54Master bedroom, which is where I sleep and make babies from time to time.
00:35:59And finally, the den, which is where you'll find my money.
00:36:03Hey.
00:36:08And.
00:36:10Cut.
00:36:11You didn't react.
00:36:14What do you mean?
00:36:16I mean, Gustav just found 30 grand and pocketed it like it was nothing.
00:36:21So?
00:36:22So that's not how you'd react if you just found 30 grand.
00:36:25You don't know that.
00:36:26You literally just found 30 grand and nearly lost your shit.
00:36:30You can't use that against me.
00:36:32Why not?
00:36:33Because I'm not playing myself.
00:36:35I'm playing Gustav.
00:36:37That's how Gustav reacts.
00:36:38He's low-key like that.
00:36:40I'm sorry, no.
00:36:42And it's just sitting there on the couch?
00:36:45Like, what?
00:36:46She just leaves 30 grand on the couch.
00:36:49Who's directing this movie, Janet?
00:36:50Me or you?
00:36:50Ding, ding, ding, ding.
00:36:51Now, I'm asking you a question.
00:36:53Who's directing this movie, Janet?
00:36:56Me or you?
00:36:57Ding, ding, ding.
00:36:58Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
00:37:00Now, how about that jewelry?
00:37:01What jewelry?
00:37:03Your jewelry.
00:37:04You're not touching my jewelry.
00:37:06Maybe not right now, but...
00:37:08Why are you doing this to me?
00:37:11Some of that jewelry belonged to my grandmother.
00:37:14Because it's only compelling if it's real.
00:37:20Now, I'm going to give you three seconds to tell me where you keep it.
00:37:24One, two, two point three, two point six, five, two point nine, seven, three, five, six, five, five, nine.
00:37:46It's back in my bedroom on top of my dresser.
00:37:50That's where Claudia keeps hers.
00:37:57And action.
00:38:01My jewelry's back in my bedroom, if you want that too.
00:38:06If you insist.
00:38:07I do.
00:38:09I was going to throw it away anyway, so you're saving me a trip to the dumpster.
00:38:14I aim to please.
00:38:16Hmm.
00:38:27There it is, on the dresser.
00:38:32You sure you don't want to keep a few of these diamonds?
00:38:35Nah.
00:38:36Good riddance is what I say.
00:38:38I say that too sometimes.
00:38:41Fine by me.
00:38:43And...
00:38:45Cut.
00:38:47I think this has gone far enough.
00:38:49Do you, Janet?
00:38:50Sorry, Janet, but we're not making a short, Janet.
00:38:53Would you please stop saying my name?
00:38:56What, Janet?
00:38:57What did I just say?
00:38:57What is wrong with you, man?
00:38:58I am trying to tell you something.
00:38:59Janet, come on.
00:39:00How are you not getting this guy, huh?
00:39:01All right, look.
00:39:02I see that you're upset about something, so I'm just going to give you a few minutes to pull
00:39:07yourself together.
00:39:09Janet, you piece of shit!
00:39:11Janet, you piece of shit!
00:39:11Get me back my stuff!
00:39:12Let me out of this thing!
00:39:13What is fucking wrong with you?
00:39:17What is fucking wrong with you?
00:39:19What is fucking wrong with you?
00:39:21What is fucking wrong with you?
00:39:22What is fucking wrong with you?
00:39:23Get me back my stuff!
00:39:25Get me back my stuff!
00:39:26Let me out of this thing!
00:39:28What is fucking wrong with you?
00:39:34And...
00:39:35Action!
00:39:36I have something you can put that in.
00:39:49That would be helpful.
00:39:51Yes.
00:39:52And would you like to know what it is?
00:39:54Can I guess what it is?
00:39:56I'm very good at guessing.
00:39:58I don't see why.
00:40:00Great!
00:40:01Is it a reusable grocery bag?
00:40:04Nope.
00:40:06Is it a...
00:40:08One of those sticks with a handkerchief at the end?
00:40:10No.
00:40:12Is it a...
00:40:14A reusable grocery bag?
00:40:16Nope.
00:40:17It's a...
00:40:21Say the line.
00:40:252018.
00:40:28Mercedes G-Wagon.
00:40:32A-M-G.
00:40:36You sure about that?
00:40:38I probably don't need anything that big.
00:40:40Sure, I'm sure.
00:40:42I want you to have it.
00:40:45You need it worse than me.
00:40:47You don't know that.
00:40:48I do very well.
00:40:50Either way,
00:40:52the keys are by the door.
00:40:55All right.
00:40:57And...
00:41:00Cut!
00:41:07Don't think I don't know what you're doing here.
00:41:10With your little movie.
00:41:16What am I doing with it?
00:41:18Using it as an excuse to steal my shit.
00:41:23Oh, it's not me.
00:41:24It's Gustav.
00:41:26Well, let me ask you this.
00:41:28Who's keeping everything after the shoot?
00:41:32I told you.
00:41:34Movies are very expensive.
00:41:36You're shooting it on your forehead, dude.
00:41:39Admit it.
00:41:40You're making this movie
00:41:42to justify your kleptomania.
00:41:44I can see what you're doing a mile away.
00:41:46Are you a psychiatrist or something?
00:41:48No.
00:41:49But I've seen one long enough.
00:41:51And you're not the first scumbag director
00:41:53I've worked for.
00:41:54The worst, but not the first.
00:41:56Now that one hurts.
00:41:58You've never even seen my work.
00:42:00I've seen enough.
00:42:02Ugh.
00:42:06What?
00:42:08I feel tingly.
00:42:12Oh, my God.
00:42:15I feel like I'm on...
00:42:19I feel like I'm on my bed.
00:42:22You're great.
00:42:23ļæ½ Ć³
00:42:24To me.
00:42:26BURk
00:42:29KILLER
00:42:30UWAL
00:42:31You have to work...
00:42:33I feel like I'm really grateful.
00:42:38I're great.
00:42:39Your time has a lost weight.
00:42:40I'm grateful.
00:42:42I'm grateful for God.
00:42:43It's for your years.
00:42:44Please.
00:42:45Let me rest.
00:42:46Please.
00:42:47Give us a abra Mickey.
00:42:48Would that be such a bad thing?
00:43:06That would be a very bad thing.
00:43:09But you love Oxycontin.
00:43:12Who said anything?
00:43:17You.
00:43:18You did this to me.
00:43:21Guilty as charged.
00:43:23Why?
00:43:26How?
00:43:28In your smoothie.
00:43:30Whoops.
00:43:31Forgot to mention that ingredient.
00:43:33I can never remember recipes.
00:43:35People are always asking me about my burger,
00:43:36and I'm just like,
00:43:37I know there's a spatula involved.
00:43:40You said you prefer acting fucked up.
00:43:42You said you're better on it.
00:43:44When did I say that?
00:43:45June 28th, 2009.
00:43:47Access Hollywood, Inside Scoop.
00:43:50How do you know all these dates and pages?
00:43:54I keep a stalker's wall at my house.
00:43:57Well, walls.
00:43:58My entire place is basically one big you, collage.
00:44:01You said you were on Painkillers and you did Angel School 3.
00:44:05That movie kicked ass.
00:44:06That movie sucked.
00:44:08I've been clean for three years.
00:44:13Do you know how hard that was for me?
00:44:16But you said you do your best work on it.
00:44:17But you said you do your best work on it.
00:44:18You said so yourself.
00:44:19I was probably high when I said that.
00:44:23If anything, it hinders my performance.
00:44:27Hinders!
00:44:28See?
00:44:29This movie's so quotable!
00:44:31Why did you do this to me?
00:44:35I thought you would like it.
00:44:37I thought it would give you that extra push.
00:44:39You took my money.
00:44:42You took my jewelry.
00:44:45You took my car.
00:44:46You took my sobriety.
00:44:49What more do you want from me?
00:44:52What more do you want from me?
00:44:54Just a few more things.
00:44:57Not that much more.
00:44:58Just a couple more things.
00:45:00How much did you give me?
00:45:03What dosage?
00:45:05The whole bottle.
00:45:07The whole bottle?
00:45:10Yeah, but you only took like three sips.
00:45:13That's gonna kill me!
00:45:16The whole bottle's gonna fucking kill me!
00:45:20Oh, Janet.
00:45:21That's not what's gonna kill you.
00:45:23Action!
00:45:46I'll get that in the morning.
00:45:49Action!
00:45:57I was gonna reupholster that anyway.
00:45:59Action!
00:46:08Those things are so stupid.
00:46:10Cut!
00:46:11Cut!
00:46:12Cut!
00:46:13Those are my cat's ashes.
00:46:18Why would you do that?
00:46:20See, but that's just it.
00:46:22I didn't do it.
00:46:23Gustav did it.
00:46:25He can be a klutz, but he means well.
00:46:27But why would that be a scene in your movie?
00:46:30He's just going around destroying things.
00:46:34He likes her.
00:46:35So he destroys her things?
00:46:38Yeah.
00:46:39He's animal like that.
00:46:40So is she.
00:46:41They're a match made in heaven.
00:46:48I'm sorry, Walter.
00:46:51But I'm gonna have to put my foot down.
00:46:55This is bullshit.
00:46:59And I will no longer comply.
00:47:05Won't you?
00:47:06Please don't.
00:47:07I'll be good.
00:47:08What are you doing?
00:47:09Forget I said anything.
00:47:10What's that, Janet?
00:47:11I can hear you.
00:47:12I can hear you.
00:47:21Hello?
00:47:22Please don't.
00:47:23I'll be good.
00:47:24What are you doing?
00:47:25Forget I said anything.
00:47:26What's that, Janet?
00:47:28Can't hear you.
00:47:31Forget I said anything.
00:47:33What's that, Janet?
00:47:35Can't hear you.
00:47:40There's something you don't know about me, Janet.
00:47:42I do not fuck around.
00:47:48I should shoot this.
00:47:50Rolling.
00:47:51I'll take scene one.
00:47:53Action!
00:48:01Let's see if your fans still adore you with nine toes, Janet.
00:48:17Better yet, let's see if they still think you're pretty with one ear.
00:48:21Or no noses.
00:48:22Can't hear you, Janet. You're mumbling.
00:48:24Didn't you take voice and speech?
00:48:26Someone hasn't been practicing their tongue twisters.
00:48:29Oh, come on. It's only a toe.
00:48:32Actresses.
00:48:34Can you imagine if I hadn't dosed you?
00:48:36You'd really be hurting.
00:48:38So what do you say?
00:48:40You gonna stop annoying the shit out of me between scenes?
00:48:43Yeah?
00:48:45You gonna be a good little actress and stay in your lane?
00:48:48Good.
00:48:50You just need a little motivation, that's all.
00:48:53What's my motivation?
00:48:55Not getting all my body parts ripped off?
00:48:58Let's get you all patched up.
00:49:19You know, when I was a kid, my parents used to ship me off to sleep away camp each summer.
00:49:25For everyone else, that's the dream.
00:49:28For me, it was a living hell.
00:49:32Every summer, it was the same story.
00:49:35I got bullied day in and day out.
00:49:38Yeah, I got bullied in school.
00:49:41But Jake.
00:49:44Jake.
00:49:45He took it to the next level.
00:49:48He was relentless.
00:49:50He abused me whenever he got the chance.
00:49:53Mentally and physically.
00:49:56Didn't matter where we were or who was watching.
00:49:59He'd cut me down and beat me up.
00:50:02One night I woke up to getting elbowed in the mouth.
00:50:07Would you believe that?
00:50:09He elbowed me in my sleep.
00:50:11Had to get a dozen stitches on the inside of my lip for that one.
00:50:15But nothing happened to Jake.
00:50:17Nothing ever happened to Jake.
00:50:19They just kept sticking me back in his bunk every year so he could try to outdo himself.
00:50:24Anyway, I know how you feel is all.
00:50:34I'm sorry you had to go through that, Walter.
00:50:41Me too.
00:50:44I know how shit like that can traumatize a person for life.
00:50:49Now I see why you're doing this to me.
00:50:52Because other people did it to you.
00:50:55You really think so?
00:50:57I know so.
00:50:59This is all Jake's fault.
00:51:02Exactly.
00:51:03I'm damaged goods so I damage goods.
00:51:07Thank you for bandaging me up, Walter.
00:51:12I always fix you up, Janet.
00:51:14You know that, right?
00:51:16Yeah.
00:51:18Huh?
00:51:20I do, Walter.
00:51:22Good.
00:51:23You can only push a man so far before he breaks.
00:51:27I know.
00:51:29I'm sorry for making you rip my toe off.
00:51:32I know.
00:51:33It's like, what were you thinking?
00:51:36I wasn't.
00:51:39And I'm sorry I've been so critical of your movie.
00:51:42It's really quite charming.
00:51:45And besides, I have been at plenty of things I thought would never work out and they killed.
00:51:50So you never know.
00:51:52I haven't even read the whole script.
00:51:54I shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
00:51:57That's what I'm saying.
00:52:00You know, now that I think of it, I know a producer who loves this sort of renegade type filmmaking.
00:52:08You know, run and gun, whatever it takes to get the shot type deal.
00:52:13I could connect you with them if you want.
00:52:16You'd do that for me?
00:52:19Absolutely.
00:52:22So, what do you say?
00:52:26We get a fresh start and we finish your movie without a hitch?
00:52:32I'd like that.
00:52:34I would too.
00:52:39Rolling.
00:52:40Scene 10.
00:52:42And action.
00:52:53Cut.
00:52:58Can you look somewhere else?
00:52:59Totally.
00:53:01Scene 10, take 2.
00:53:02Action.
00:53:26Cut!
00:53:27I think I'm constipated.
00:53:34This is probably a stupid question, but are you trying to actually poop on camera?
00:53:41Damn it, Janet!
00:53:43It's only compelling if it's real.
00:53:45You're right.
00:53:46You're right.
00:53:47And I agree.
00:53:48I totally agree.
00:53:49Maybe it's because I'm here.
00:53:52You could put me out in the hallway.
00:53:54In the hallway?
00:53:56No.
00:53:57She'd be in the bathroom with him.
00:53:59Right.
00:54:01Of course she would.
00:54:02Of course.
00:54:03Right.
00:54:06Scene 10, take 3.
00:54:09Action!
00:54:10It's not so scary.
00:54:11You could do something too about this.
00:54:12You could kill me, too, too.
00:54:13You could kill me again.
00:54:15You could kill me again.
00:54:16I could kill me again.
00:54:20Oh.
00:54:21Oh.
00:54:22Yeah.
00:54:23Oh God!
00:54:24Oh goddamnit!
00:54:25Yeah!
00:54:26Oh God!
00:54:27Oh God.
00:54:28Oh God!
00:54:31Oh God!
00:54:32Oh God!
00:54:33Oh my God!
00:54:34Oh God!
00:54:35Oh God!
00:54:36Oh my God!
00:54:37Try clearing your mind.
00:54:40The national anthem usually works
00:54:42because the tune meanders
00:54:44and the lyrics are meaningless.
00:54:46You can cut around it later.
00:54:54Oh, say can you see
00:54:58By the dawn's early light
00:55:01What's so proud in the air
00:55:05And the twilight's last gleaming
00:55:19In the rocket's red glare
00:55:23The bombs bursting in air
00:55:27Gave through, through the night
00:55:31What a flag was still there
00:55:35Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
00:55:49For the land of the sea
00:56:01And the whole way up
00:56:07The red glare
00:56:11And the bombs bursting into air
00:56:16Oh, say is that star-spangled banner yet wave
00:56:20Move.
00:56:31Ah, cackling.
00:56:34Ugh.
00:56:35Ugh.
00:56:36Bro.
00:56:40Cut.
00:56:50You just got yourself a special thanks credit, little lady.
00:57:01Are you familiar with wheelchair dance?
00:57:21I'm afraid I'm not.
00:57:23That's where a bunch of cripples rent out a ballroom, dance around in their little wheelchairs.
00:57:28How lovely.
00:57:29I only ask because that's what we're doing in the next scene.
00:57:32Well, dolly dance.
00:57:34No big deal, but I choreographed a little something.
00:57:39Fun.
00:57:45Rolling.
00:57:47Scene 11.
00:57:48Try and keep up.
00:57:50And action.
00:57:51A five.
00:57:52A six.
00:57:53A five.
00:57:54A seven.
00:57:59And this one's going to be a four.
00:58:00I'm not a five.
00:58:01You're gonna have to run yourself.
00:58:02You're going to do it.
00:58:03A five.
00:58:04A six.
00:58:05A five.
00:58:06A seven.
00:58:07A six.
00:58:08A seven.
00:58:09A seven.
00:58:10A six.
00:58:11A seven.
00:58:12A seven.
00:58:13A seven.
00:58:14A seven.
00:58:16A seven.
00:58:17A seven.
00:58:18A seven.
00:58:19Two.
00:58:20A seven.
00:58:21A two.
00:58:22A seven.
00:58:23A seven.
00:58:24A seven.
00:58:25Ah!
00:58:26Ah!
00:58:55Cut!
00:59:15You're a great dancer.
00:59:18You're not so bad yourself.
00:59:20I better be.
00:59:21I take it twice a week.
00:59:22I've never taken it.
00:59:23I guess some people just have it.
00:59:25I guess so.
00:59:27That seems right, right?
00:59:29He shits, then they dance.
00:59:31I was gonna put the dance first, but then I thought,
00:59:33nothing makes me want to dance more than after I bomb Swirl Harbor.
00:59:36Think about it!
00:59:38I'm never as light on my feet as I am after I launch a sea pickle.
00:59:42Honestly, it makes perfect sense to me.
00:59:47Then again, nothing makes me want to release the hostages more than after I dance.
00:59:52Because it jiggles them loose.
00:59:54Classic which came first.
00:59:56Luckily, you don't have to decide now.
00:59:58If it doesn't feel right, you can switch them in post.
01:00:00Good point.
01:00:02Look at you, Janet.
01:00:04I'm digging the new vibes.
01:00:06Might as well have a good time with it.
01:00:08I couldn't agree more.
01:00:10Well, I probably could, but I won't.
01:00:12What scene are we on?
01:00:13Scene 12?
01:00:14Yes.
01:00:15Ah, yes.
01:00:17Scene 12.
01:00:18The grind.
01:00:20The what?
01:00:21Oh, just a little something I'm gonna cut into the dance number.
01:00:24Just give me that look again.
01:00:26You know the one I mean.
01:00:27The one where you gotta have me with all your heart and soul.
01:00:30Roger that, good buddy.
01:00:32And action!
01:01:02I'm not a bad boy
01:01:04What?
01:01:05I'm not a bad boy.
01:01:06I'm not a bad boy.
01:01:07I'm not a bad boy.
01:01:08I'm a bad boy.
01:01:09I'm a bad boy.
01:01:11I'll go and eat all the clothes.
01:01:13I'm not a bad boy.
01:01:14I'm a bad boy.
01:01:23Yeah.
01:01:24And?
01:01:25Do the look.
01:01:26Now, now, now, now.
01:01:28And do the look. Now, now, now.
01:01:36And cut.
01:01:39Ready for the big kiss?
01:01:41Oh, yeah.
01:01:46And action.
01:01:52Want to, like, do something?
01:01:58What do you have in mind?
01:02:02Kiss.
01:02:04Wait a minute. Are you asking me to kiss you right now?
01:02:09How could you tell?
01:02:11It's just a hunch.
01:02:13Wow. You're, like, real smart.
01:02:18So, what do you say?
01:02:21I think I can help you with that.
01:02:29And cut.
01:02:33You licked my nose.
01:02:37That's good stuff for you. He's ravenous.
01:02:40Could you wipe it off, please?
01:02:42I thought we'd go again, actually.
01:02:44Again?
01:02:45Yeah, licking your nose like that.
01:02:48Didn't feel right.
01:02:50I agree.
01:02:53From, you're so smart.
01:02:56Scene 13.
01:02:59Pick up.
01:03:01And action.
01:03:03Action.
01:03:05Wow.
01:03:07You're, like, real smart.
01:03:12So, what do you say?
01:03:15I think I can help you out with that.
01:03:17Cut.
01:03:40And cut.
01:03:42Jesus fucking Christ, Walter.
01:03:44What is fucking wrong with you?
01:03:47There she is.
01:03:49I'm sorry I tried being your good little actress, but that was fucking foul.
01:03:54I mean, I have had to kiss some pretty repulsive orifices in my day, but that one takes the cake.
01:04:01I'm sorry you had to go through that as a kid, but that does not excuse your actions here.
01:04:06God damn it, I'm Janet Gillespie!
01:04:10People do not fuck with me.
01:04:15Go through what?
01:04:17What?
01:04:19You said, I'm sorry you had to go through that, but whatever, whatever, blah, blah, whatever.
01:04:25Your thing with Jake.
01:04:28Could you wipe me off, please?
01:04:30In a minute.
01:04:31Just hang on.
01:04:33How could I have a thing with Jake?
01:04:37If I'm Jake.
01:04:40Was I unclear about which character I played in that story?
01:04:44I'm Jake.
01:04:47I'm the bully in that equation.
01:04:52You're Jake?
01:04:53That's...
01:04:55Yeah.
01:04:56I elbowed that kid right in his fucking mouth.
01:04:58Oh, my God.
01:04:59You're so fucking crazy.
01:05:05Then who is Walter?
01:05:07Nobody at all.
01:05:08Just some name I came up with for the delivery guy.
01:05:12But Jake...
01:05:15Jake is somebody.
01:05:17Please let me go, Walter, Jake, whatever your name is.
01:05:21Hang in there, Janet.
01:05:23Just a few more scenes.
01:05:24Then you won't have to worry about me ever again.
01:05:27Please.
01:05:28Please.
01:05:29Please.
01:05:30Please let me go.
01:05:32Aw, you're so cute when you cry.
01:05:36But your face smells rancid.
01:05:38What do you say we get you all cleaned up?
01:05:40And we're off!
01:05:52So that's what you look like without all that makeup on.
01:05:57You always wonder what these starlets look like in real life.
01:06:00The answer?
01:06:01Not hot.
01:06:03This your makeup kit?
01:06:05Yes.
01:06:06Good.
01:06:08It's gonna touch you up for continuity.
01:06:35Oh.
01:06:47Ready for the big reveal?
01:06:49Yeah.
01:06:54Eh?
01:06:56Mm-hmm.
01:06:58Very nice.
01:07:02Boop!
01:07:03I'm gonna go set the next scene.
01:07:10Sorry for the wait.
01:07:11The lighting's a bitch.
01:07:12My fog machine ran out of fluid.
01:07:16Now, if I undo you, you're not gonna run, right?
01:07:19Right, Janet?
01:07:21What are you gonna do to me?
01:07:22What are you gonna do to me?
01:07:23Ah, ha, ha.
01:07:24Ah, ha!
01:07:26Ah!
01:07:29Ah!
01:07:30Ah!
01:07:32Ah!
01:07:34Ah!
01:07:35Ah!
01:07:36Ah!
01:07:42What are you doing?
01:07:43Oh, my God.
01:07:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:07:47Sit.
01:07:48Sit.
01:07:49Stop, stop.
01:07:50Come on.
01:07:51You got this.
01:07:52Take this.
01:07:53Come on.
01:07:54Look.
01:07:55No, no, no, no, no.
01:07:56Sit.
01:07:57Scene 14.
01:08:00Rolling.
01:08:01Ah, ah.
01:08:03Ah, ah.
01:08:04Oh, my God.
01:08:06Oh.
01:08:07Oh.
01:08:08Oh.
01:08:09Oh.
01:08:13Oh.
01:08:20Oh.
01:08:22Oh.
01:08:25Oh.
01:08:26Oh.
01:08:30Oh.
01:08:35Oh..
01:08:38Oh.
01:08:40Oh.
01:08:41No.
01:08:42Thank God!
01:08:46Fucking finally!
01:08:59You raped me!
01:09:01I did nothing of the sort.
01:09:03Yes, you did! You raped me!
01:09:05Pure information, Janet.
01:09:07Gustav and Claudia had consensual sex.
01:09:10You raped me, you son of a bitch!
01:09:14I can't even...
01:09:16Oh my God, you piece of shit.
01:09:18You actually raped me.
01:09:20Are you diseased?
01:09:23Holy fucking shit, you raped me!
01:09:26It's only compelling if it's real.
01:09:29So are you diseased or what?
01:09:33You worry too much.
01:09:34Gustav is clean.
01:09:36I don't give a shit about Gustav!
01:09:38Are you clean, whoever the fuck you are?
01:09:41Well, I don't see how that's any of your business.
01:09:44But considering the fact that that was my first time,
01:09:46I think it's safe to say that I'm clean.
01:09:50That was your first time?
01:09:52I saved myself for you, Janet.
01:09:54Plus the countless hookers that I dress like you
01:09:58and hate fuck till it bled.
01:10:00But other than that, yeah.
01:10:02Oh my God.
01:10:04You fucking raped me!
01:10:07It was just for the movie.
01:10:09No!
01:10:11That is not how it's done.
01:10:15All right, let's just, uh, let's just shoot the next scene.
01:10:23Are you fucking kidding me?
01:10:25You just raped me and you wanna shoot the next scene?
01:10:29Who the fuck do you think you are?
01:10:31No, I will no longer be acting with you.
01:10:34I'm done.
01:10:36Movie's over.
01:10:38That's a wrap!
01:10:39Come on.
01:10:40It's just one more scene.
01:10:42We're so close.
01:10:50Fuck you.
01:10:52Fuck you and fuck your fucking movie.
01:10:57You drugged me.
01:10:59You tortured me.
01:11:02You've humiliated me.
01:11:04You've degraded me.
01:11:06Janet, let me ask you something.
01:11:08Do you want me to leave your house?
01:11:13That's not rhetorical.
01:11:15Do you want me to leave your house?
01:11:19Yes.
01:11:21I want you to fucking leave.
01:11:23Leave and never come back.
01:11:26Then you gotta finish my movie.
01:11:28That's the deal we made.
01:11:30I never made that deal!
01:11:38But I never made that deal!
01:11:51My toe hurts.
01:11:53I need to go to the hospital.
01:11:56Is this really the last scene?
01:12:09Yeah.
01:12:14Are you really gonna leave?
01:12:18Yes.
01:12:19Then let's just fucking get it over with.
01:12:27And...
01:12:29Action.
01:12:30How was that for you?
01:12:32The sex?
01:12:34Amazing, of course.
01:12:36You made me cum like a thousand times.
01:12:40You have a massive penis.
01:12:42I do?
01:12:43Like you don't know.
01:12:44Stop!
01:12:45No, really, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen.
01:12:50And trust me, I'm a huge slut.
01:12:52Well, I used to be.
01:12:53Now I'm...
01:12:54Oh, who am I kidding?
01:12:55I'm still a huge slut.
01:12:56Do you really mean it?
01:12:57Yeah, I'm a gigantic slut.
01:12:58No.
01:12:59About my dick.
01:13:00Definitely.
01:13:01You have the biggest dick in the entire universe.
01:13:05Of all time.
01:13:06My insides are jumbly.
01:13:07My bad.
01:13:08No, you're good.
01:13:09Want to go again?
01:13:10I can't.
01:13:11I have to take my Billy Goal to the dermatologist.
01:13:13I can't.
01:13:14I have to take my Billy Goal to the dermatologist.
01:13:16I can't.
01:13:17I can't.
01:13:18I can't.
01:13:19I can't.
01:13:20I can't.
01:13:21I can't.
01:13:22I can't.
01:13:23I can't.
01:13:24I can't.
01:13:25I can't.
01:13:26I can't.
01:13:27But the dermatologist.
01:13:28Right.
01:13:31Right.
01:13:32Right.
01:13:33So anyway, back to your penis.
01:13:36It's just so big.
01:13:39And not just long but thick too.
01:13:42And veiny, your vein alone is larger than most male penises.
01:13:45Definitely larger than my last boyfriend.
01:13:48And he's from Africa.
01:13:49He's white.
01:13:51But still, he's from Rhodesia.
01:13:53Which, technically, makes him African.
01:13:55that's a shame he's gay anyway and what about my balls did you like my balls your
01:14:07balls are phenomenal perfect spherical shape good alignment hairy but not too
01:14:14hairy very impressive and did you get a chance to peruse my annual cavity at all are you kidding
01:14:26i spent enough time down there it's delightful monsieur vandenberg truly exquisite no poo particles
01:14:35whatsoever so just to overview to overview your penis is unmatched your balls are
01:14:44succulent and your anus unsullied i guess that's it done i guess that's it
01:14:54well
01:14:59have a nice life you as well too as well too
01:15:14cut
01:15:17oh that scene what about it it's just about how big your dick is that's your final scene what are you
01:15:29talking about it's a great twist it's not a twist agree to disagree janet that's a great twist
01:15:36but that's not the final final scene that's coming up next jeez making movies is tedious
01:15:40you said the last scene was the last scene well that's just because this next one's more of a
01:15:48shot than a full scene and don't worry you don't have to look at the script there's no dialogue or
01:15:54anything well what is it just this little extra thing at the end what kind of a thing well for fuck's sake
01:16:03just read it
01:16:05so he just
01:16:20he just kills her
01:16:24and if it's only compelling if it's real then
01:16:31then
01:16:34you guessed it
01:16:35no please please jake don't do this to me
01:16:38sorry but
01:16:39i have to
01:16:41but why
01:16:42it's gotta look real janet
01:16:44it's called acting it's make-believe
01:16:47well not to me it isn't
01:16:49but it makes no sense
01:16:50why would he kill her it makes perfect sense
01:16:53she's
01:16:55got terminal cancer
01:16:57and he's assisting her suicide
01:16:59please you can't do this to me
01:17:02i can do whatever i want
01:17:03no you can't
01:17:06i'll ruin the shot
01:17:08how so
01:17:09i'll flail and i'll shake my head
01:17:12i won't read
01:17:13well then i'll scream the whole time and i'll fuck up your sound
01:17:16whatever
01:17:17please jake
01:17:25you don't want to do this
01:17:28no movie is worth somebody's life
01:17:31my life
01:17:33do the right thing
01:17:37forget the last scene
01:17:39let me go
01:17:40destroy the footage
01:17:42and go on your way
01:17:43please
01:17:45please
01:17:47please just come
01:17:47just come
01:17:48i'd like to
01:17:52i would
01:17:53you're gonna get in trouble for this
01:17:59uh so
01:18:00my face is never
01:18:02seen
01:18:03aren't you gonna post it online
01:18:05yeah
01:18:06well so they'll chase it back to your computer
01:18:08so i'll use your computer
01:18:09i'm sorry janet but
01:18:11there's no hollywood engines in real life
01:18:14claudia has to die
01:18:16and so do you
01:18:18but why
01:18:19tell me why
01:18:21she wants to know why
01:18:23does the name jacob romer ring a bell
01:18:31did you say jacob romer
01:18:37i sure did
01:18:39i said jacob romer
01:18:43the stalker who wrote me all those crazy letters
01:18:46you did get my letters
01:18:48why didn't you ever write me back
01:18:51oh my god
01:18:52i needed you
01:18:53i had my own monsters you know
01:18:57all i wanted from you was just a little
01:19:00a little sympathy
01:19:03a little understanding
01:19:04you couldn't even give me that
01:19:09i didn't understand
01:19:11because i didn't have any monsters
01:19:15you were writing to the girl from mother may i
01:19:20she was a character in a movie don't you see
01:19:23that wasn't me
01:19:25that wasn't
01:19:26yeah well by the time i figured that out
01:19:28it only made me mad
01:19:29you tricked me
01:19:30it was just a movie
01:19:33i was just a little girl
01:19:37i'm so sorry that i didn't write you back
01:19:42i
01:19:45i have a dad
01:19:48and he's sick
01:19:50and i'm all he's got
01:19:53he has dementia
01:19:55and i'm the one that takes care of him
01:19:57please you don't have to do this
01:20:02once in a while
01:20:06occasionally lately
01:20:09once in a while
01:20:11once in a while
01:20:13never again
01:20:15okay well maybe
01:20:18once in a while
01:20:19once in a while
01:20:22what could i say
01:20:23i thought our love was bona fide
01:20:27but to my surprise
01:20:33what's in a while
01:20:36once in a while
01:20:38have mercy
01:20:41have mercy on me
01:20:44oh easy
01:20:46have mercy
01:20:49have mercy
01:20:51been all on me
01:20:53but we waited
01:20:55because the tears will someday die
01:20:58i'll see you in a while
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