00:00When someone sees a person who is so bright,
00:03they want to get their little sticky fingers all over it,
00:06and they want it for themselves.
00:07They want to pick that flower,
00:09and they want to watch it wilt.
00:10I really don't want to wilt.
00:12I would like someone else to water my garden,
00:14and together we grow a great big willow tree,
00:17and we lay under it, and we read poetry to each other,
00:20and eat apple pie.
00:21So I was in Sweden with Tom Slinger, my long time producer.
00:32I was with Tuba Berman,
00:33I was with Elvira Anderfjord, and Luka Kloser,
00:37and we were just having a gorgeous week in Stockholm.
00:40I know Tom made this beat,
00:42and I was just really losing my mind.
00:44I had just gotten out of a little situationship.
00:47I was like, wow, what a waste of time.
00:49I could have spent all of that time learning a new hobby,
00:53and I was really reflecting back on the time waste of it.
00:56It felt like I needed to reconfigure
00:59my priorities a little bit.
01:00If I'm going to commit time to a person,
01:03they need to really be bringing
01:04something very special into my life.
01:06I think it's so funny to have a truck with big fucking wheels,
01:22and to step out of it with my pleasers on,
01:25and my little shorts that are flossing my butt,
01:27and my little tiny tank top, and saying,
01:30Hey, y'all. I look hot as fuck. I feel delicious.
01:35I look hot as fuck. Vocal fry like deadpan.
01:39What?
01:41Rhinestone belt. Quartz in the clutch.
01:45Cotton candy boots with the 7-11 slush like.
01:48Blue raspberry fruit roll-ups.
01:51Girl, I look what the fuck. Hades hot, yup.
01:55Call him hot Cheeto dust. I don't want crumbs. Got hobbies. No crush like.
02:01I am very passionate about hobbies, and I am not passionate about crumbs.
02:07I really don't want crumbs. Like, I'm giving so much, okay?
02:11I'm bringing so much to the table, and you're bringing crumbs? Is this a joke?
02:15The other day, I was out with the girls, and there was this hot person,
02:18and I was talking to them. I was like, oh my god, you're so boring.
02:22Then I went back over to my girls, and I was like, y'all are the funniest bitches I've ever met in my life.
02:26Having you here, in front of this person, babe, please. These are crumbs.
02:33I don't want no crumbs.
02:37Nutcracker, I'm Tchaikovsky.
02:40No hot Cheeto dust.
02:43Wipe my hands. Ugh, get off me.
02:46Hot Cheeto dust is very visual. It gets on your hands,
02:49and creates a little red film. You just can't get it off.
02:55So I'm imagining this tiny little man, and he's looking up at me,
03:00and I got my big fucking heels on, and I'm like, what?
03:04And he's got his little hot Cheeto dust hands, and he's rubbing them on me.
03:08And I'm like, ugh, I'm kicking him off. I'm like, get off!
03:19Love should be about someone wanting to build a partnership with you, someone wanting to make
03:29your life a softer, kinder place. Someone who really actively wants to make your life easier,
03:36and vice versa. I want to do that for someone else. But I've been in situations where I really had a
03:41little conversation with myself. What is this person doing for me that I can't easily do for
03:47myself? Like, what are they bringing? Really and truly, what are they bringing? Is the sex that good?
03:52No.
03:53You see me, and you see heaven. You're my personal hell.
03:59Anticlimactic, get your sticky fingers off me boy.
04:03My personal hell in a relationship is playing mother, maid, wife, therapist,
04:16fuck doll. Like, I'm like, get me out of here.
04:22Thigh high, boots to the puss. I don't want a city boy who's scared of the bush.
04:31Worship my foot. Illiterate. I think he's never read a book. If you are scared of the bush,
04:39grow the fuck up. Like, put your hiking boots on. There's a trail. Make your way to the waterfall,
04:46okay? Grow the fuck up. Set scene. Fog up the screen. Showgirl. Bronco. High beams. How sweet.
04:56You want to be a team? Ashniko Ketchum. Boyfriend trinkets. How sweet of you to think that we could
05:04be a team. Like, oh, that's so cute. Like, pat on head. That's really sweet, honey. How you want to be
05:11a team with me. Bad news. I'm Ashniko Ketchum. Boyfriend trinkets. I got my little boyfriend
05:16trinkets right now. Okay. My little little boo-boos hanging off my bag. Bad news. We're not a team,
05:21babe. I remember when I wrote, thigh high boots to the puss. I don't want a city boy who's scared
05:28of the bush. It felt like lightning struck down from the sky straight into my brain. And the goddess
05:33said, this is it, babe. This is it. You've been chosen. This is my message. Take this message to the
05:42people. Yeah. It felt like that.
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