- 3 weeks ago
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00:01At the White House announcement on drug pricing,
00:04President Trump appeared to doze off in his chair repeatedly.
00:08It's the latest instance of the 79-year-old president
00:11seemingly drifting off to sleep in public.
00:16The Franklin Mint is proud to partner with President Trump
00:19to release the limited edition Donald J. Trump's
00:23Sleeping Time Commemorative Coin Collection.
00:25Now you can capture every glorious moment.
00:28A White House press conference.
00:31Meeting with the Saudis.
00:35Even playing golf.
00:38Each coin comes with a certificate of authenticity
00:41and a commemorative drool cup.
00:44It's the Lit Show with Stephen Colbert.
00:49Tonight, shut down to business.
00:54Hi, Stephen. Welcome to me more.
00:58And Pat Burns.
01:02Featuring Louis Kato and the Lit Show fam.
01:06And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theater
01:11in New York City, it's Stephen Colbert.
01:14Welcome, my friends, in here, out there.
01:37New friends and old.
01:41Welcome to the Late Show.
01:42I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.
01:44Folks.
01:47It looked like, I don't know if you've seen,
01:49I don't know if you've seen the newspapers today.
01:51It looks like the government shutdown is coming to an end.
01:55Our long national nightmare is different.
01:59At how many days?
02:0541 days so far, it is the longest shutdown in U.S. history.
02:10Democrats have been holding the line.
02:12Demanding Republicans compromise to keep Affordable Care Act subsidies
02:15available for millions of Americans.
02:17Well, last night, eight Democratic senators voted with Republicans
02:20to fund the government through January
02:22without any Affordable Care Act guarantees.
02:28So, yes.
02:30So, yes, yes, the shutdown may have been long and painful
02:33for millions of Americans,
02:35but at least it achieved Jack Squat.
02:40That is, and we know why Jack is squatting.
02:45But these Democratic defectors did get one concession.
02:48Senate Majority Leader John Thune promised them a vote
02:52on the ACA in December,
02:54because that's when people get down to serious work.
03:00December.
03:02You work about six days,
03:05and half of that is spent doing a mandatory
03:07office door decorating contest.
03:10Welcome to accounting,
03:11or should I say, the Polar Express.
03:15Now you've got hot chocolate.
03:17No, no surprise.
03:19The vast majority of Democrats do not want this.
03:22None of those eight Senate Democrats
03:24are up for re-election next year,
03:26and two have announced they are retiring from the Senate.
03:30What a disappointing way to end your career.
03:34Reminds me of when Journey released their last single,
03:37We Stopped Believin'.
03:38Did they?
03:42I don't know.
03:42One of the Democrats who crumbled like a granola bar
03:52in your backpack is New Hampshire senator
03:55and the Joker's proud aunt, Jeanne Shaheen.
03:59Shaheen was asked about her decision,
04:01and she said,
04:01When I talk to my constituents in New Hampshire,
04:04you know what they say to me?
04:06Uh, are we Vermont or the other one?
04:10Are we?
04:11Which one?
04:12One of us is...
04:16We're up...
04:16Are they upside down us,
04:18or are we upside down them?
04:20She continued,
04:21They say,
04:22Why can't you all just work together
04:24to address the problems
04:25that are facing this country?
04:26Because the country is being run by insane people.
04:39My constituents want to know
04:41why we can't work with the meth-addled chimps
04:43who broke into the cockpit
04:44and are now flying the plane.
04:47Some of their ideas are reasonable,
04:48although, admittedly,
04:50some are bananas.
04:54This weekend,
04:56while airports were in utter chaos
04:58and thousands without food benefits
05:00across America,
05:01Trump showed sensitive leadership
05:02and attended his second extravagant party
05:06at Mar-a-Lago in a week.
05:10Come on, Mr. President,
05:12read the room.
05:14I'm sorry,
05:14I forgot I was talking to.
05:16Have someone summarize the room
05:18for you.
05:20The party...
05:21The party...
05:22The party was co-hosted
05:29by the Conservative Political Action Conference,
05:32or Spatchcock.
05:36The...
05:36The esteemed guests included
05:41far-right British politician
05:42Nigel Farage,
05:44disgraced butter-junkie Paula Deen,
05:46and Hercules star
05:49Kevin Sorbo.
05:51I think it's pretty incredible
05:52that Sorbo found the time,
05:54considering production Hercules
05:55rapped only 26 years ago.
05:59Guests...
06:00Come on, show.
06:01Gave us Xena.
06:02Guests were treated
06:03to some entertainment,
06:04including this opera singer.
06:05She has a lovely voice,
06:17but does Mar-a-Lago
06:19have a mandatory
06:20bear midriff policy?
06:23Tonight, we're doing
06:24wet T-shirt opera, okay?
06:27Then, gentlemen,
06:28get out your singles,
06:29because they're dancing
06:30the G-string nutcracker.
06:33I'm gonna...
06:34I'm gonna...
06:35I'm gonna...
06:35I'm gonna tuck Mr. Washington...
06:38I'm gonna tuck Mr. Washington
06:44right into the old sugar plums.
06:50Hey.
06:52It's fun.
06:53Speaking of pure MAGA elegance,
06:55there were also two ladies
06:56in flag swimsuits
06:57doing synchronized swimming
06:59to Lee Greenwood.
07:01If tomorrow all the things
07:03were gone,
07:05I'd work for all my life.
07:08And I had to start again
07:10with just my children
07:12and my wife.
07:15And I'm proud to be
07:17an American.
07:18You know...
07:19Hearing that song
07:24also makes me want to
07:24dive into the water,
07:25but...
07:26Only after I first
07:29filled my pockets
07:30with rocks.
07:32Not to nitpick,
07:33but there are only
07:34two of them.
07:36Two!
07:37Two is really
07:38the bare minimum
07:39for...
07:40for synchronized
07:42swimming.
07:51And I'm told
07:52we have Kevin Sorbo's
07:53review.
07:55Disappointed!
08:00He's not happy.
08:01He's not happy.
08:02He did not like it.
08:03Uh-uh.
08:05Uh-uh.
08:08This party
08:08makes it seem like
08:10it's really easy
08:10to get into Mar-a-Lago
08:11as long as your talent
08:12shows some skin
08:13and is vaguely patriotic.
08:15Thank you,
08:16swimmer ladies.
08:17Now please welcome
08:18Tina,
08:18who's gonna take off
08:19her top
08:20and eat a flag.
08:23A flag cake?
08:24No, just the flag.
08:25She's gonna eat the flag.
08:27Of course,
08:28after, uh,
08:29two ladies
08:29same time swimming,
08:31Trump's second favorite
08:34sport would be football.
08:35And over the weekend,
08:36we learned
08:37Trump wants
08:37the Washington
08:38commander's
08:39new D.C.
08:39stadium named
08:40for him.
08:41No, that's not,
08:44that's not how
08:46any of this works.
08:48You name,
08:48you name things
08:49after people
08:49once they're out
08:50of office.
08:51The president
08:52doesn't just ask
08:53for it,
08:53except when
08:54Reagan said this.
08:56Mr. Gorbachev,
08:58give Big Ron Ron
09:00an airport.
09:03Look how happy
09:04the people are.
09:05People are so happy.
09:06Now Trump,
09:07Trump doesn't
09:09just want this,
09:10he is pushing
09:10to make it happen.
09:11The White House
09:12says there have been
09:12back-channeled
09:13communications
09:14with the commander's
09:15ownership group
09:16to express Trump's
09:17desire to have
09:17the stadium
09:18bear his name.
09:19And his press
09:19secretary basically
09:21confirmed it,
09:22saying,
09:23that would be
09:23a beautiful name.
09:25Yes, it's a very,
09:27no, hey,
09:29no, it is,
09:30it would be beautiful.
09:31After all,
09:32everyone knows
09:32that Trump
09:33is a lovely portmanteau
09:35of the words
09:36tremendous
09:36and dump.
09:38Yesterday,
09:41maybe he should've
09:42done the animation.
09:44Maybe he should've
09:45done the animation.
09:46Who cares?
09:49Yesterday,
09:49Trump wanted to go
09:50see a commander's game
09:51in person,
09:51and the fans
09:52were not happy
09:53to see him.
09:54Fun fact
10:06for the folks
10:06at home,
10:07for the broadcast
10:07of our show,
10:08our editor,
10:09Brian,
10:09had to go through
10:10that clip frame
10:11by frame
10:12and blur out
10:13every single
10:14middle finger
10:15that was raised.
10:16How are,
10:17how are you feeling
10:18after all that work,
10:19Brian?
10:20Okay.
10:20Just one more.
10:25Thank you,
10:25that's enough.
10:27That's good.
10:30It was a long time.
10:31Okay.
10:32Just,
10:32just one more,
10:34you'll have to blur.
10:36Now,
10:36a little booing
10:37from a crowd
10:38didn't stop Trump
10:38from joining
10:39the announcers
10:40and trying his best
10:41call play.
10:42Well,
10:42let's see what happens here.
10:43This is a big,
10:45big downer right there.
10:46They're calling a timeout
10:47here,
10:48President Trump.
10:48They're trying to regroup.
10:50It's a fourth and goal.
10:52Oh, no,
10:52excuse me,
10:53fourth and short.
10:54But you can equate
10:55sports with life.
10:56You know,
10:56you have the triumph
10:58and you have the,
10:59the problems
11:00and you got to get
11:01through the problems
11:02to hit the triumphs
11:03and you can never quit.
11:04You can never give up.
11:13It was a little rough.
11:14It was a little rough.
11:15That marks the first time
11:16the guys in the booth
11:17got brain damage.
11:18Now,
11:20yeah.
11:29More evidence
11:30of Trump's troubling spiral
11:32into blah, blah, blah, blah.
11:35Last week,
11:36you'll recall
11:36that Trump held a presser
11:37where one of the attendees
11:39passed out
11:40while he was talking.
11:41Guy was fine.
11:42And it turns out
11:43he wasn't the only one
11:44catching a little shut eye.
11:45According to video analysis
11:46by the Washington Post,
11:48at that same meeting,
11:49the president spent
11:49nearly 20 minutes
11:51apparently battling
11:52to keep his eyes open.
11:54Great.
11:55Our president
11:56is an old man
11:57who can't stay awake
11:58like that classic folk tale,
11:59Rip Van Cankel.
12:00Here's just...
12:03We have this, right?
12:05We have this, okay.
12:08Rip Van Cankel.
12:10Here's just some of the
12:13commander-in-chief dozing off.
12:14What about the people
12:16in urban areas
12:17who live in food deserts
12:18and are suffering
12:19from obesity?
12:20President Trump
12:21has also instructed us
12:23to address
12:25and end the root causes
12:26of chronic disease.
12:28In the meantime,
12:29there's nothing more important
12:30than we can do
12:31than lower this price.
12:32Do you know
12:33how hard it is
12:34to fall asleep
12:35to RFK Jr.'s voice?
12:37That is not...
12:40That's not the easiest.
12:42That's not the most easiest.
12:44Ooh-hoo.
12:45Ooh, bedtime.
12:47Setting my white noise machine
12:49to...
12:50handful of gravel
12:51and a neutrabullet.
12:57Photographers on the scene
12:58in the Oval Office there
12:59nab some pretty good shots
13:00of Trump snoozing.
13:01There's this one.
13:03He's out.
13:04This one.
13:05Bye-bye.
13:05And my favorite,
13:07this one.
13:08Where, in fairness...
13:09In fairness,
13:12he looks less asleep
13:13and more just miserable,
13:15like he's watching Eric
13:17in his high school musical.
13:20Oh, God.
13:21When the hell
13:21does the fiddler
13:22jump off the stupid roof?
13:28Sunrise, sunset.
13:32Sunrise, sunset.
13:34If I were a rich man.
13:35Yeah, ma-da-ma-da-ma-da-ma-da-ma-da-ma-do.
13:43WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
14:06MY GUESTS ARE TEAM MORAL AND KEM BURNS, AND WHEN WE COME BACK, SCIENCE.
14:13COME ON.
14:38GIVE IT UP FOR LEWIS CATO AND THE BAND, EVERYBODY.
14:42WHO KNOWS?
14:44TONIGHT, TWO POWERHOUSE GUESTS TONIGHT, HOLLYWOOD LEGEND, DEMI MORA IS HERE THIS EVENING.
14:51AND DOCUMENTARY LEGEND, KEN BURNS IS ALSO HERE TONIGHT.
14:57HE SHOULD DO A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT HER.
15:00FOLKS, IF YOU WATCHED THE SHOW, YOU KNOW I LOVE SCIENCE.
15:05WITHOUT SCIENCE, WE'D NEVER HAVE WHATEVER PUMPKIN SPICE IS.
15:09BECAUSE IT AIN'T PUMPKIN.
15:12I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT ALL THE LATEST SCIENCE NEWS IN MY SCIENCE SEGMENT.
15:16THE SOUND OF SCIENCE.
15:20HELLO, SCIENCE, MY OWN FRIEND.
15:24FIRST UP...
15:26WHAT'S GOING ON?
15:32FIRST UP, SPACE.
15:39AN ETERNAL REMINDER THAT WE ARE SO SMALL AND THE UNIVERSITY IS SO BIG.
15:44AND ALL OF OUR ACTIONS ARE SO INSIGNIFICANT.
15:46AND YET, EVERYONE STILL REMEMBERS THAT TIME IN THIRD GRADE WHEN YOU CALLED YOUR MATH TEACHER MOM.
15:51GOOD NEWS FOR SPACE DWELLERS, BECAUSE RECENTLY, ASTRONAUTS ENJOYED THE FIRST EVER SPACE BARBECUE.
16:00WHICH MEANS ASTRONAUTS ALSO ENJOYED THE FIRST EVER SPACE NEIGHBOR HOVERING OVER THEIR SHOULDER GOING,
16:05OH, YOU'RE GONNA TAKE THEM OFF THE GRILL NOW?
16:07YOU DON'T WANT TO LET THEM CARAMELIZE?
16:10NO, NO, YOU'RE THE GRILL, HEY, YOU'RE THE GRILL MASTER.
16:12I'M JUST A GUEST.
16:13I'M JUST A GUEST HERE.
16:15SO NO SAUCE?
16:19THIS HAPPENED ABOARD CHINA'S TIANGONG SPACE STATION.
16:22WHAT THE HELL?
16:24THERE WAS BARBECUE IN SPACE AND AMERICA DIDN'T INVENT IT?
16:27I DEMAND THAT NASA STRIKE BACK BY DEPLOYING THE FIRST DEEP SPACE DEEP FAT FRYER.
16:33NOT EASY TO SAY.
16:36THE OVEN WAS SENT FROM CHINA'S SPACE AGENCY TO THE STATION.
16:40IT'S KNOWN AS A MICROGRAVITY MICROWAVE AND ACTUALLY FUNCTIONS MORE LIKE AN AIR FRYER.
16:45AND WHILE I'M SURE THEY WERE EXCITED, I BET AT LEAST ONE OF THESE ASTRONAUTS WAS LIKE,
16:49OH, THEY INVENTED A SPACE AIR FRYER.
16:51THAT'S COOL.
16:52QUICK QUESTION, WE STILL GOT TO POOP IN A TUBE?
16:55YEAH?
16:56NO PROBLEM, JUST CHECKING.
16:57SO YOU GOT THE AIR FRYER GOING, BUT WE STILL GOT THE HOOVER.
17:04YOU GOT THE...
17:05NEXT UP, ON THE SALV, SIGH, BIRD EXPERTS HAVE REVEALED THAT WOODPECKER HAMMERING IS A FULL-BODY
17:11AFFAIR.
17:12ALSO, I CAN REVEAL THAT GOOGLING FULL-BODY WOODPECKER HAMMERING GETS YOU A REAL QUICK CALL FROM HR.
17:22NEXT UP, I HOPE YOU ALL LOOKED UP IN THE NIGHT SKY LAST WEEK TO SEE NOVEMBER'S FULL MOON, ALSO
17:33KNOWN AS A BEAVER MOON, SHINE ACROSS THE U.S.
17:37BY THE WAY, GOOGLING BEAVER MOON GETS YOU A SECOND, FAR MORE INTENSE CALL FROM HR.
17:46NEXT UP, SCIENTISTS SAY THAT THE LARGEST-OBSERVED FLARE FROM A BLACK HOLE UNLEASHED THE LIGHT OF
17:53TEN TRILLION SUNS.
17:55NOW, TO PUT THAT IN LAYMAN'S TERMS, TEN TRILLION SUNS IS ALMOST AS BRIGHT AS THE VENIRES ON A
18:00REAL HOUSEWIFE.
18:03NOW...
18:04HEY!
18:09NEXT UP, IT'S RECENTLY BEEN DISCOVERED THAT PLANTS HAVE A SECRET LANGUAGE TO
18:15SCIENTISTS ARE ONLY NOW STARTING TO DECIPHER.
18:18THE SCIENTISTS HAVE RELEASED THIS FIRST-EVER RECORDING OF A PLANT TALKING.
18:22Psst!
18:23JUST SO YOU KNOW, SHE'S GONNA GO ON VACATION, AND WE'RE BOTH GONNA DIE.
18:28YEAH, THAT HAPPENS.
18:33THAT DOES HAPPEN.
18:36NEXT UP, NEW RESEARCH IS EXPLAINING THE REASONS WHY SOME HUMANS GROW HORNS.
18:41AND IT'S BECAUSE OF COMPACTED CAROTEN MASSES THAT DEVELOP FROM SKIN LESIONS.
18:47OR BECAUSE THAT PERSON HAS FORMED A BLOOD PACT TO SERVE THE WOLFFACED DARK LORD MAMMON,
18:52EATER OF LIGHT, SUCKLER OF THE UNRIGHTEOUS, AND BIRTH MOTHER OF HOMUNCULI.
18:59OR THE LESION THING.
19:02NEXT UP, SURPRISING NEW STUDY SHOWS THAT WEIGHT LIFTING BEATS CARDIO FOR BLOOD SUGAR CONTROL.
19:08THEN I GUESS I BETTER START NOT DOING THAT INSTEAD.
19:15NEXT UP, THAT.
19:21NEXT UP, PALIENTOLOGISTS HAVE LONG STRUGGLED TO TELL WHETHER DINOSAUR FOSSILS ARE MALE OR FEMALE,
19:26BUT NOW SAY MATING INJURIES MAY HELP THEM IDENTIFY THE SEX OF DINOSAURS.
19:31TURNS OUT IF THE BONES HAVE MATING INJURIES, THE SEX WAS PRETTY GOOD.
19:36NOW...
19:41PALIENTOLOGISTS HAVE LONG SOUGHT A WAY, UH, RELIABLY, TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN MALE AND FEMALE DINOSAURS BASED ON THEIR FOSSILS.
19:51WELL, THAT'S EASY.
19:52THE MALES LOOK LIKE THIS, AND THE FEMALES LOOK LIKE THIS.
19:58AND THEY WAVE A HANDKERCHEF AND GO, YOO-HOO!
20:04THERE'S SOME MORE SCIENCE FROM THE SCIENCE PEOPLE.
20:06ACCORDING TO THE NEW SCIENCE RESEARCH, PETS CONTRIBUTE TO GREENHOUSE GASES JUST LIKE US,
20:11BECAUSE IT'S BECOME SO POPULAR TO FEED PETS HUMAN-GRADE MEAT,
20:14AS OPPOSED TO ANIMAL PARTS THAT WOULD OTHERWISE HAVE GONE UNUSED.
20:18BY THE WAY, ANIMAL PARTS THAT WOULD OTHERWISE HAVE GONE UNUSED,
20:21STILL THE OFFICIAL SLOGAN OF LUNCHABLES.
20:24WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DEMEEN MORE.
20:28HERE WE GO!
20:34WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
20:50MY FIRST GUEST THIS EVENING IS A HOLLYWOOD ICON.
20:53YOU KNOW FROM SUCH FILMS AS THE SUBSTANCE, A FEW GOOD MEN, AND GHOST.
20:57PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW, DEMEEN MORE!
21:03PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW.
21:09PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW.
21:19PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW.
21:21PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW.
21:23PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW.
21:25PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW.
21:29PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW.
21:31PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW.
21:35PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW.
21:37PILAF WAS ON LAST TIME, TOO.
21:39SHE DID.
21:40SHE MADE A BRIEF APPEARANCE LAST TIME.
21:41SHE DID, YES.
21:42AND QUITE A SPLASH.
21:43IT'S BEEN A BIG YEAR FOR PILAF.
21:44WE'RE GOING TO GET TO YOU IN A MINUTE.
21:45OH, YES, PLEASE.
21:46BUT A BIG YEAR FOR PILAF.
21:48I UNDERSTAND THIS IS VOGUE PUT THIS COVER OUT.
21:51YES.
21:52JUST FOR PILAF CALLED DOGUE.
21:55THERE'S PILAF RIGHT DOWN THERE.
21:58THERE YOU GO.
22:01WELL, NOW THAT SHE'S A SUPERSTAR AND GUEST ON THE SHOW FOR A
22:04SECOND TIME, WE HAVE A LITTLE GIFT BAG.
22:06OH.
22:07A LITTLE GIFT BAG.
22:08A LITTLE TOTE BAG FOR HER.
22:09IT'S A LITTLE POLISHING STUFF IN THERE.
22:10OH, MY GOD.
22:11LOOK.
22:12AND IT HAS A TAG.
22:13I MEAN, THIS MIGHT DRAG HER DOWN, BUT.
22:16SAYS THE LATE SHOW ON THE SIDE.
22:18THERE YOU GO.
22:19OH, MOUSE, LOOK AT THAT.
22:21YEAH.
22:22OH.
22:23LOOK.
22:24DO YOU WANNA SEE?
22:25I MEAN, MAYBE.
22:28I MEAN, SHE HAS A POUND AND A HALF.
22:31YES.
22:32SHE CAN USE THAT BONE AS A LIFE WRAP.
22:33YOU KNOW, YESTERDAY WAS HER BIRTHDAY.
22:35AND...
22:36AND HOW OLD IS...
22:40I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ESCALATE IN HER AGE.
22:42BUT HOW OLD IS PILAF?
22:43SHE TURNED FIVE.
22:44OH, WOW.
22:45YES.
22:46SHE'S FIVE YEARS OLD.
22:47WELL.
22:48FIVE YEARS YOUNG.
22:49YES.
22:50SHE LOOKS GREAT FOR HER AGE.
22:52RIGHT.
22:55OKAY, NOW, THIS IS NOT THE ONLY ANIMAL IN YOUR LIFE.
22:57YES.
22:58HERE WE GO.
22:59OKAY.
23:00TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.
23:01HERE WE GO.
23:02WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU AND THE DUCKLINGS?
23:03OKAY.
23:04RIGHT NOW.
23:05THERE YOU GO.
23:06SO, BEFORE SUMMER HIT, I LIVE, YOU KNOW, A GOOD PORTION OF THE TIME IN IDAHO.
23:13AND IT WAS GOING...
23:14I DID NOT KNOW THAT.
23:15...TO DROP TO BELOW 40.
23:17AND I WAS OUT WALKING MY DOGS AND I LOOKED DOWN AND MY DAUGHTER'S FIANCE SAID,
23:24WHAT IS THAT?
23:25AND IT WAS A BABY DUCKLING THAT WAS ORPHANED.
23:29WE WENT LOOKING FOR THE MOTHER.
23:31ANYWAY, I TOOK IN THREE BABY DUCKLING THAT HAD BEEN ORPHANED.
23:34KEPT THEM UNTIL THEY HAD GOTTEN TO THE POINT OF BEING WATERPROOF, WHICH I DIDN'T KNOW THIS.
23:40TWO MONTHS.
23:41IT TAKES...
23:42DUCKS ARE NOT WATERPROOF IN THE BEGIN?
23:43NO, THEY ARE NOT.
23:45DO YOU HAVE TO SCOTCH GUARD THEM?
23:46WHAT DO YOU DO?
23:48I DIDN'T LOOK INTO THAT.
23:50THAT COULD HAVE BEEN VERY HELPFUL.
23:52NO, INSTEAD, THEY LIVED IN MY BATHROOM.
23:54WOW.
23:55AND THEN I WOULD TAKE THEM OUT IN THE DAY SO THEY COULD GET SOME SUNSHINE.
24:00WOW.
24:01AND THEN I SLOWLY INTEGRATED THEM BACK AND RE-RELEASED THEM, BUT DID GO OUT AND FEED THEM,
24:08JUST TO KEEP INTERACTING.
24:10IT WAS A JOY.
24:11HOW DID PILA FEEL ABOUT THESE DUCKS?
24:13SHE LIKED THEM VERY MUCH.
24:14YES?
24:15YES.
24:16OKAY.
24:17SO WHAT HAPPENED HERE?
24:18AND THEN SOMEHOW THE WORD GOT OUT AND NOW THIS IS WHAT SHOWS UP EVERY DAY.
24:28LAST COUNT WAS 40.
24:31YESTERDAY WAS 40 DUCKS.
24:34YOU'RE LIKE A DISNEY PRINCESS.
24:36THE BIRDS JUST COME TO YOU.
24:37THEY'RE LIKE TO ME'S DINER, FREE FOOD.
24:40THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
24:42WELL, TOMORROW IS YOUR BIRTHDAY.
24:44HAPPY BIRTHDAY AHEAD OF TIME.
24:45THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
24:46THERE YOU GO.
24:47IT'S BEEN A BIG YEAR.
24:48YES.
24:49THIS PAST YEAR HAS BEEN VERY BIG FOR YOU.
24:50OBVIOUSLY WE ALL SAW THE SUBSTANCE, A GOLDEN GLOBE WINNER FOR THAT.
24:53THANK YOU.
24:54NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR FOR THAT.
24:56NOW YOU'RE STARRING IN LANDMAN.
24:58LANDMAN.
24:59OKAY.
25:00WHAT'S IT LIKE TO REFLECT ON THIS PAST YEAR?
25:01HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT?
25:02I JUST, WOW.
25:03THAT'S HOW I FEEL.
25:04WOW, WHAT A GREAT, FUN YEAR.
25:07I JUST FEEL LIKE THIS IS AN AMAZING TIME.
25:10AND ANYBODY WHO THINKS THAT GETTING OLDER MEANS LIFE IS LESS IS SADLY MISTAKEN.
25:17YOU WERE ONE OF GLAMOUR'S WOMEN OF THE YEAR.
25:26YES.
25:27THE THEME THIS YEAR WAS SISTERHOOD.
25:29YES.
25:30MAKES SENSE.
25:31I HAVE A SISTER.
25:32I'VE NEVER BEEN A SISTER.
25:33YEAH.
25:34WHAT DOES SISTERHOOD MEAN TO YOU?
25:35I MEAN, SISTERHOOD, FOR ME, IT'S COMMUNITY.
25:38IT'S, YOU KNOW, IT'S THE WOMEN IN MY LIFE THAT ARE THERE WHO PICK ME UP WHEN I STUMBLE,
25:46THAT ARE THERE TO CELEBRATE ME WHEN I RISE.
25:50AND, YOU KNOW, FOR ME, IT'S SO IMPORTANT, PARTICULARLY, YOU KNOW, AT THIS TIME,
25:56THAT WOMEN COME TOGETHER NOT TO COMPETE FROM SCARCITY, BUT TO COLLABORATE FROM ABUNDANCE.
26:07AND I THINK THAT WE WERE SOLD A BILL OF GOODS LONG AGO THAT THERE WASN'T ROOM FOR ALL OF US.
26:13BUT THE TRUTH IS, WHEN ONE RISES, WE ALL RISE.
26:22YOU WERE ALWAYS A BIG STAR.
26:24YOU HAD TO SCRAMBLE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE WHEN YOU WERE FIRST STARTING OUT.
26:27IN THE ARTICLE, AND I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT PEOPLE'S EARLY GIGS.
26:31AND YOU TELL THE PEOPLE ABOUT A REALLY EARLY GIG YOU HAD ON THE TELEPHONE.
26:36WHAT WERE YOU DOING?
26:37YES.
26:38SO I WAS ABOUT 14, AND MY JOB WAS TO WORK AT A COLLECTION AGENCY.
26:46BECAUSE I HAD A VERY DEEP VOICE.
26:48SO THEY DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A 14-YEAR-OLD ON THE OTHER END OF THE LINE.
26:52SO IT WAS A VERY FUNKY OFFICE IN DEEP HOLLYWOOD.
26:58AND I WOULD TAKE THE BUS.
27:00I WOULD WORK FOUR HOURS AT SCHOOL, AND THEN I WOULD TAKE THE BUS DEEP INTO HOLLYWOOD
27:05IN THIS REALLY DINGY, DARK OFFICE AND GET ON THE PHONE.
27:08IT WAS REALLY KIND OF EMBARRASSING HAVING TO CALL PEOPLE TO SAY THAT THEIR BILLS WERE OVERDUE.
27:13GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE.
27:14LIKE, HELLO?
27:15YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T EVEN REMEMBER.
27:19BUT, YOU KNOW, JUST TO SAY, LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE, YOU KNOW, GONNA BEAT.
27:24I CAN'T TELL YOU.
27:26I'M GONNA SEND TWO GUYS NAMED ROCKO OVER THERE TO REPOSSESS YOUR CUTLESS SUPREME?
27:31YEAH, THAT COULD BE IT.
27:32YES.
27:33WOW.
27:34YEAH.
27:35SO YOU WERE THREATENING PEOPLE AS A 14-YEAR-OLD.
27:36I WAS, I WAS BEING ASSERTIVE.
27:38SURE.
27:39PROFESSIONALLY ASSERTIVE.
27:40YES.
27:41ALL RIGHT.
27:42OKAY.
27:43IT'S GOOD TRAINING, BECAUSE YOU HAD TO ACT.
27:46IT'S, IT WAS DEFINITELY A ROLE I WAS PLAYING.
27:48WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
27:50WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE DEMI MORA, EVERYBODY.
27:52STICK AROUND.
27:56WE'RE BACK WITH DEMI MORA.
28:01YOU ALSO GREW UP IN ROSWELL, NEW MEXICO, WHICH I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID NOT KNOW THIS ALREADY.
28:08HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THIS?
28:09I DON'T KNOW.
28:10I HAVEN'T KEPT UP ON MY DEMI MORA.
28:11WELL, I JUST HEARD OF YOUR FASCINATION WITH ALIENS, OF WHICH MY CHILDREN OFT HAVE SAID THAT THEY THINK I'M PART ALIEN.
28:18WHY DID THEY SAY THAT?
28:20I DON'T KNOW.
28:21MAYBE IT'S JUST BECAUSE I WAS BORN IN ROSWELL.
28:23RIGHT.
28:24WELL, I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY, GROWING UP THERE, BECAUSE THE ROSWELL RUMOR STARTED IN LIKE THE LATE 40s.
28:28IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
28:29THE CRASH WAS THERE, SUPPOSEDLY, AND THERE'S LIKE ADVANCED MATERIALS.
28:33THEY'RE IN A LAB NOW.
28:34SOMETHING DEFINITELY HAPPENED, BUT WHEN I WAS A KID IT WAS NEVER SPOKEN ABOUT.
28:38NO ONE TALKED ABOUT IT IN ROSWELL?
28:40NEVER.
28:41IT WAS NEVER SPOKEN.
28:42LIKE YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT IT?
28:43LIKE FAMILY SECRET?
28:44IT JUST WAS NOT EVER, EVER TALKED ABOUT.
28:48NOT EVEN IN PASSING.
28:49IT WAS AS IF IT WAS A SECRET.
28:51AND THEN WHEN THE DOCUMENTARY CAME OUT AND THEN THE SHOW, NOW THERE WAS A MUSEUM, AND NOW
28:57THERE'S ACTUALLY A SOMEWHAT COMPREHENSIVE MUSEUM DISCUSSING HOW THEY SHUT ALL COMMUNICATION DOWN ABOUT
29:04IT.
29:05NOW, YOU JUST SAID A MOMENT AGO, SOMETHING HAPPENED THERE.
29:09SOMETHING HAPPENED.
29:10BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHAT.
29:11I DON'T KNOW.
29:12SOMETHING HAPPENED.
29:13WHAT DO YOU THINK?
29:15WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S THE LARGEST LANDING STRIP IN AMERICA IS IN ROSWELL.
29:20OUTSIDE, YES.
29:21SO THERE'S A LOT OF TESTING THAT GOES ON.
29:24IT'S LIKE THE LOCKHEED SKUNKWORKS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
29:27I DON'T KNOW.
29:28I MEAN, I THINK WE...
29:29LEGALLY YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING OR ELSE THEY'LL TAKE YOU OUT.
29:31IT'S POSSIBLE.
29:33I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO BE SEEN AS ILLEGAL.
29:36NO, NO.
29:37NO ONE'S GOING TO COME GET YOU.
29:38PEEL OFF WILL PROTECT YOU FROM ANYBODY.
29:40SHE WILL.
29:41YOU CAN TELL.
29:42SHE'S SO...
29:43BUT WHAT IS YOUR FASCINATION WITH ILLEGAL?
29:47WHAT'S NOT TO BE FASCINATED ABOUT?
29:49THE POSSIBILITY THERE ARE ALIENS, YOU KNOW, THE NAVYS, THE OTHER BRANCHES OF THE MILITARY, THE AIR FORCE,
29:55HAVE BEEN PUTTING OUT THESE VIDEOS OF UNEXPLAINABLE PILL SHAPE THINGS THAT GO INTO THE WATER AND
29:59COME OUT AND GO FROM LIKE ZERO TO 6,000 MILES AN HOUR WITH ABSOLUTELY NO G-FORCE IMPACT.
30:04OKAY.
30:05AND THEY'RE TRACKING IT WITH THEIR...
30:06COME ON, COME ON, WHAT'S NOT...
30:08WHAT?
30:09I'M NOT THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.
30:10DO YOU KNOW BETTY AND BARNEY HILL?
30:12YOU KNOW, I'M WORKING ON A FILM THAT'S ABOUT BETTY AND BARNEY HILL.
30:15NO, I DON'T...
30:16THEY WERE ONE OF THE FIRST COUPLES TO EVER EXPERIENCE AN ALIEN ABDUCTION.
30:19OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
30:20YES, SEE, YOU KNOW THEM.
30:21THEY'RE NO LONGER STILL WITH US, ARE THEY?
30:22NO.
30:23THEY'RE NOT.
30:24OKAY.
30:25YEAH.
30:27YOU KNOW WHY?
30:28JUST SAYING.
30:29BECAUSE THEY TALKED ABOUT IT.
30:32YES!
30:33OKAY, SO, NOW, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE SERIES, LANDMAN.
30:36YES.
30:37SEASON TWO COMES OUT STARTING THIS SUNDAY.
30:39YOU STAR ALONGSIDE BILLY BOB THORNTON, WHO I'D FORGOTTEN YOU ALSO WERE IN THE MOVIE INDECENT PROPOSAL WITH THERE.
30:47YES.
30:48WHICH HE HAD TO REMIND ME OF.
30:49WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW THAT WAS HIM?
30:51LET ME SEE.
30:52LOOK.
30:53YES.
30:54YOU WOULD...
30:55WELL, I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER OF DOING THIS MOVIE WITH HIM?
30:58I MEAN, HE HAD...
30:59HE WAS...
31:00HE SAID HE WAS THERE FOR WEEKS TO DO THE ONE SCENE.
31:03UM...
31:05THAT'S ABOUT ALL I KNOW.
31:07MAN MADE AN IMPRESSION ON DEMEEN MOORE.
31:10OKAY.
31:11OKAY.
31:12I LOVE BILLY BOB.
31:13I LOVE HIM.
31:14WHO DOESN'T?
31:15I LOVE HIM.
31:16WHO DOESN'T LOVE THE SPACED POWER?
31:17AND I HAVE KNOWN HIM NOW, OBVIOUSLY, FOR YEARS.
31:18YES.
31:19YEAH.
31:20WE HAVE A CLIP HERE.
31:21OH, OKAY.
31:22DO YOU NEED TO TELL US WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS CLIP?
31:23WATCH IT.
31:24LET'S SEE.
31:25WHAT IS IT?
31:26THAT IS.
31:27LET'S SEE.
31:28I LOVE IT.
31:29THANK YOU.
31:30up look she's asleep go ahead ivan underestimating me is how i buy you out
31:42now i have no speech on the futures of energy or my commitment to innovative approaches on drilling
31:51or philanthropy or any of that other you guys like to spew with these things
31:56i'm the largest independent oil producer in the region the only difference between me and monny
32:05is i'm meaner test me and you'll find out how much enjoy your lunch i paid for with your money
32:19jamie so lovely to see you thank you for being here
32:22thank you good to see you thank you season two of landman premieres this sunday on paramount plus
32:28demi moore everybody we'll be right back with king burns
32:45welcome back everybody ladies and gentlemen my next guest has been making documentaries for nearly
32:5150 years his latest the american revolution premieres this sunday on pbs please welcome back to the late
32:57show ken burns
33:20good to see you again good to be with you really enjoying the american revolution evan and i watched
33:26we got to episode three last night and i had to stop just to rehydrate because i didn't know that
33:31you could make me uh openly weep over george washington addressing his troops yeah you're a wizard
33:37okay also there's so many amazing performances in this because again you don't have the photography
33:42no film no newsreel no newsreel but you have these incredible actors who lent their voices to many of your
33:48films over the years but this is extraordinary tom hanks meryl streep ethan and maya hawk claire dame
33:54samuel jackson paul giamati and edward norton just to name a few and i am
34:01i'm asking i'm asking i'm asking for a friend who's going to need a job how how does one land
34:07a gig with ken burns i could i could do that my dearest martha i can do it well what we've usually done
34:15is waited for people when they weren't working so you know if you if you know somebody that's
34:19going to be out of work just let me know and sure we'll we'll have a trial i'll write it on his
34:24bathroom mirror and soap yeah okay as i said the latest film is the american how long have you been
34:30working on this the american revolution uh it is now nine years and 11 months almost so we began
34:35when barack obama had 13 months to go in his presidency sure so a million years ago a million years ago
34:43exactly now you've said this is a good time for us to look at this particular story why now well i mean
34:50obviously we feel that we're so divided and i think the you can treat a country the way you might treat
34:56an individual um if someone's in crisis you see a pastor or you see a professional and the first thing
35:02they ask you is who are your parents where were you born what was your childhood like you get the origin
35:07story and you sort of begin to rebuild and i think going back for anyone where whatever your
35:13politics may be and understanding where we came from what the story of us is helps to put you back
35:19together again we have a clip right here ken what do we need to know and why was this a moment you
35:31wanted to share yeah well so we've been following lots of people dozens of people that you've never
35:35heard of a lot of the top-down people you have but one of the people is a german hessian soldier
35:40named captain johann ewald and he's openly contemptuous of these rebels as he calls him but he also
35:46happens to be in the surrendering army at spoiler alert yorktown and he's got the sort of the last word of
35:54the battle of yorktown for us with what soldiers in the world could one do what was done by these men
36:03one can perceive what an enthusiasm which these poor fellows call liberty can do who would have
36:12thought a hundred years ago that out of this multitude of rabble would arise a people who could
36:18defy kings johann ewald there's there's so many beautiful beautiful letters and from people that we
36:28don't know there's so many things to learn about the american revolution that i had no idea for
36:33instance um i was so surprised to find out how many people in new york after new york the the battle of
36:40brooklyn heights or battle of long island after washington just got his ass handed to him because
36:45of the mistake he makes yes exactly and then they managed to get over to to manhattan but then they also
36:51get driven out of manhattan and you know uh so the the british come in and they go hey anybody who
36:58wants to renounce your independence you're all cool and you can come fight for us and thousands of new
37:03yorkers signed something called the declaration of dependence and and they flocked in this is
37:08happening not just in new york but all over new jersey as the brits take over there uh new york uh is
37:14ceded to the british on september 15th 1776 just a couple months after the declaration it will not be
37:21back in george washington's american hands until november 25th 1783 that is seven years and two
37:28plus months it is a stronghold for loyalists and the british army here right here a real conflict
37:34between lawyers we think of the civil war as being like brother against brother but also the revolution
37:38i i think in this in our civil war it's a sectional war maybe the brother against brother happened five
37:44times but it is the story of the revolution thomas jeffrey i mean benjamin franklin's own son
37:49uh was the royal governor of new jersey and he was deposed and he spent some time in prison and it was
37:55assumed he would go back to england when he was released and instead he started a terrorist organization
38:01killing patriots just as there were patriot organizations killing loyalists it is an unbelievable
38:07civil war and you don't want to be in new jersey or south carolina when it happens so sorry
38:11those south carolina uh that's the worst moultrie drove off the british fleet no one else did that
38:19no no no no exactly in the very beginning in 76 about south carolina beyond beyond the the the obvious
38:26history and uh the it's an exciting story it is what do you hope audiences take from this well first of
38:34all this is the most important event in world history since the birth of christ this is the
38:39beginning of the time when human beings were no longer subjects but citizens thomas jefferson a couple
38:46sentences after pursuit of happiness which is the second greatest sentence in the english language we
38:52hold these truths to be self-evident the first one is of course i love you he says all experience has
38:57shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer while evils are sufferable very easy to understand it means
39:03heretofore everybody is put up with the authoritarian rule and right now we are we are breeding a new
39:10class of people who are resistant to that who are citizens who have to show a virtuous life in order to
39:17earn this um honor of being a citizen and i think for us right now i would like us to go back into this
39:23origin story all of us and collect how we began and maybe collectively we can all put the us back in the u.s
39:34thanks so much for being here thank you for the beautiful film the american revolution
39:40which has a beautiful companion book premieres this sunday on pbs ken burns everybody we'll be right back
40:03that's it for the lake show everybody tune in tomorrow and my guests will be claire daynes and congressman jim
40:12claire daynes and congressman jimmy cliburn good night
40:33ah
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