- 20 hours ago
Four married friends buy a condo to share as a bachelor pad, a place to bring their mistresses, until the wives and girlfriends bust the cheating spouses.
Category
πΊ
TVTranscript
00:00:00I'm so sorry, Kate.
00:00:07I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
00:00:10Let's see how much sympathy you get
00:00:12from two dead mistresses.
00:00:19Everyone on your knees!
00:00:21Hands behind your head!
00:00:30Shariahos
00:00:35I can't score him.
00:00:38Shariahos
00:00:39T'fart
00:00:39I can't score him.
00:00:40I-
00:00:42I can't score him.
00:00:43I can't score him.
00:00:46You should score him!
00:00:47You should score him so much!
00:00:49Sorry, I did.
00:00:51I'm sorry, Jamiahos.
00:00:52He's on a goodΠ°ΠΉΠ½ suit!
00:00:54I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:00:55I can't score him but I'm not sure.
00:00:56I'm sorry.
00:00:57You should score me.
00:00:59No, that's crazy. It was crazy. It's crazy.
00:01:15Now, you know, since I've been here, we had a lot of laughs, had a lot of good times and everything.
00:01:19So I feel like I know you now. I feel like I can be free with you.
00:01:22Can I talk to you for a second?
00:01:24I got to ask my permission in the black club.
00:01:26As you know, y'all don't let anything just happen.
00:01:28So it's okay for me to just talk to you.
00:01:31All right. Okay. All right.
00:01:33And y'all not going to judge me.
00:01:34I don't mind your open opinion, but you're not going to judge me, are you?
00:01:38Can't promise that. I got to respect that. All right.
00:01:58Sorry, we're a little early.
00:02:01I thought I said 3 p.m.
00:02:02No, you said 12 p.m. What is that?
00:02:08Oh, that's not what it seems like. You know, rappers used to live here.
00:02:13It has some type of music video, and you know how they are.
00:02:16Equality Entertainment, E-40 now. It's all good.
00:02:19Man, no, man. This looks like a homicide.
00:02:22I don't know. You know how them rappers are, man. You're a brother. What's up, man?
00:02:27Listen, please, just follow me and let me show you the pool.
00:02:30Let me get it. Come on.
00:02:34Hey! Hey!
00:02:35What's your name again?
00:02:39Jaleesa.
00:02:40Oh, you're selfish. Tell me why it's your girls. Where your girls at?
00:02:43They couldn't make it, but I'm here to serve.
00:02:46Yeah, but can you serve me some vodka in this lemonade?
00:02:50How are you back, sexy?
00:02:53Yes, she is sexy.
00:02:56So, D, why can't you sell this place, man?
00:02:58This is the living room.
00:03:00You have two golden Roman statues, antique furniture from the 1940s.
00:03:04This was built in the 1960s.
00:03:05Great bargain.
00:03:06Does this place look familiar, honey?
00:03:08I'm Googling it right now.
00:03:11Yo, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not what it looks like.
00:03:14And you know what?
00:03:15The basketball party is over, kid.
00:03:29What the hell are you?
00:03:32You know what? Let me show you guys.
00:03:33It's your backyard.
00:03:36Wait a minute.
00:03:37They just gangster rappers?
00:03:39Man, long story.
00:03:41Okay, I don't know what that means.
00:03:43Yo, yo, what's up?
00:03:45Yeah, yeah, this is J-Man.
00:03:46Hey, what's up, baby doll?
00:03:48Yeah, my bro told me about your sexy cell.
00:03:58Duke.
00:04:00Duke.
00:04:00Yeah, what's up, honey?
00:04:01Don't forget to pick up my dress at the dry cleaners.
00:04:03You're not working today.
00:04:04You can pick it up.
00:04:05Excuse me?
00:04:06I have appointments.
00:04:07I have my manicure, pedicure, and my facial.
00:04:09And that's all in my morning schedule.
00:04:11Then I have my hair treatment.
00:04:13All right, all right, all right.
00:04:13I'll pick it up.
00:04:15Oh, yeah, I just remembered, um, we're going to have poker at the house this week, okay,
00:04:19with the fellas.
00:04:19That's okay, right?
00:04:20Uh-uh.
00:04:21No, no way.
00:04:22I told you the last time was the LAST time.
00:04:26You tell your homeboys to go find another place to trash.
00:04:29Come on, baby.
00:04:30Be reasonable, please.
00:04:31I mean, this is how it works.
00:04:32It's my turn now.
00:04:33I'll tell you how it works, sugar.
00:04:36I watch Sex in the City reruns in the living room, and there'll be no card game going on
00:04:42in the kitchen.
00:04:43Besides, why don't you use that mansion you're never going to sell?
00:04:48All right.
00:04:50I see how it is.
00:04:52I'm up for the challenge.
00:04:58Nice day for a walk?
00:05:00Yeah, now it's all meant into my jacuzzi.
00:05:02You know what?
00:05:03I think I may have my swimming trunks in the car.
00:05:05Rule number one, no swim trunks allowed in my jacuzzi.
00:05:08I promise not to break any of those rules.
00:05:11Rule number two, no wives allowed in my jacuzzi.
00:05:15I totally understand.
00:05:17You know what?
00:05:20Johnny J-Man Johnson, record producer.
00:05:24That's, uh, my twin brother.
00:05:26If he gives you any trouble, you give me a car.
00:05:28He's single.
00:05:29Okay.
00:05:31And here's number two.
00:05:32Emerson Duke Johnson, author, historian, realtor.
00:05:39Yes, that would be me.
00:05:40What are you today?
00:05:41Realtor.
00:05:42Yeah?
00:05:43Yeah.
00:05:43Well, uh, maybe I'll give your brother a call.
00:05:46All right.
00:05:47It's nice to meet you, Duke.
00:05:48As well.
00:05:51He said if I can get you the gig or I can probably get you in bed.
00:05:55Is that true?
00:05:56A little bit.
00:05:56Well, you know, I'm busy right now.
00:05:59I'm in the studio laying down some tracks.
00:06:00Cool.
00:06:01Yeah.
00:06:02By the way, do you see?
00:06:04Yeah.
00:06:04Because I would love to lay down some tracks with you.
00:06:07I bet you would.
00:06:08All right.
00:06:09Tomorrow.
00:06:10Cool.
00:06:10Peace.
00:06:11See you.
00:06:12Bye.
00:06:12J-Man?
00:06:13J-Man.
00:06:15What kind of session are you talking about?
00:06:17It's very simple, Tom.
00:06:19J-Man is kind of like my, uh, how can I say this?
00:06:23My alter ego.
00:06:25Alter ego?
00:06:26Yeah, guys.
00:06:26Like, you know, somebody's secondary personality or, you know, an intimate, trusted friend.
00:06:31We know him.
00:06:32You know what?
00:06:32You know, I kind of like made up J-Man.
00:06:35But you got to realize that my spirit is pure, but my flesh is so weak.
00:06:40Okay, okay.
00:06:41You a sly dog, man.
00:06:43If I ever caught you in bed with another man, I would cut off your dick and hang it on the restroom of a bus station.
00:06:49No worries, Tom.
00:06:54What if Leticia finds out?
00:07:07Let's see.
00:07:10Public park.
00:07:14Check.
00:07:15We're almost halfway through the list.
00:07:17You have been such a sport accommodating my fetish.
00:07:19I want to give you a special gift.
00:07:24They're beautiful.
00:07:26As are you.
00:07:32Oh, good.
00:07:32You thought of another location?
00:07:34Yes.
00:07:35Your place.
00:07:37You might want to be cremated because there won't be enough remains left to bury.
00:07:41Yo, Z, is this girl that fine?
00:07:44She's that hot?
00:07:44Do black men hang like elephants?
00:07:46She is hot.
00:07:48There's actually two species of elephants.
00:07:51What?
00:07:52What's her name?
00:07:53Her name is Sundae.
00:07:54You want to take her to church?
00:07:55No.
00:07:56It's not about where I take her.
00:07:57It's about where we end up.
00:07:59Her rule is, no swimsuits and a jacuzzi.
00:08:02Well, why don't you just take her here?
00:08:06Wait a minute, J-man.
00:08:08Would you possibly consider sublooding to me and my alter ego?
00:08:13You know what, gentlemen?
00:08:15Let's make a deal.
00:08:17Let's make this mention bring us peace, love, joy, happiness, whatever we want.
00:08:25Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:26From Monday through Sunday.
00:08:27That's right.
00:08:27All for one and one for all.
00:08:30Yes, sir.
00:08:31Yes, sir.
00:08:33What about me?
00:08:34Oh, I got you.
00:08:35Don't worry about that.
00:08:36And I got your back, baby.
00:08:37No, you don't.
00:08:38I got her.
00:08:38We see.
00:08:39We see Rondi.
00:08:40All the way around.
00:08:41Where she's sitting.
00:08:41She's sitting right here, right?
00:08:43She's working for you right now.
00:08:44I'm working for her.
00:08:45Always good luck.
00:08:46Who's got her in front?
00:08:48In my real life right now, I'm involved in an affair.
00:08:53I have an affair with another woman on my wife.
00:08:55Now, see, there y'all go judge.
00:08:56See those looks on their faces?
00:08:57You said you weren't going to judge me.
00:08:59See that?
00:09:00See how black folk are?
00:09:01You think you can trust me?
00:09:02They just stab you on in the back.
00:09:03No.
00:09:12This dude is offering the lilies of serenity to his people.
00:09:17Yeah.
00:09:19Really?
00:09:19Yeah, really.
00:09:21To me, the lips represent a vagina.
00:09:23Hmm.
00:09:24For real?
00:09:25Wow.
00:09:26Oh, come on.
00:09:27How can you look at this and not see a vagina right in her face?
00:09:31Well, yeah, you know what?
00:09:34I can see that now.
00:09:35Yeah, you're right.
00:09:36Yeah.
00:09:37To me, this piece represents sexual freedom and purity.
00:09:42Hmm.
00:09:43How about I get us some stronger drinks and we can meet out by the jacuzzi?
00:09:47I like that.
00:09:48Yeah?
00:09:48I'm up for the challenge.
00:09:56Yeah, I can see that.
00:09:57Yeah, this girl's Sunday.
00:10:06I was talking to you the book.
00:10:07This is what I'm talking about.
00:10:11What are you doing?
00:10:13Hey.
00:10:14Uh, I thought all that talk about the lilies kind of inspired me.
00:10:18Uh, I thought we was on the same page.
00:10:20Um, no.
00:10:21I thought we were going to have a drink before you took me to dinner.
00:10:24Oh, all right.
00:10:25Well, um, okay.
00:10:28Well, actually, I'm kind of naked.
00:10:36Yes, you are.
00:10:37I thought that was your rule.
00:10:39How'd you know that?
00:10:41Well, uh, you know, you know, I...
00:10:43Oh, I see.
00:10:45Twins talk.
00:10:46Yeah, yeah.
00:10:47We always talk, and we talk too much.
00:10:49Smart.
00:10:50Yes.
00:10:51Yeah.
00:10:53Well, I'm really hungry, so if you want to...
00:10:55All right.
00:10:59Are you just going to stand there?
00:11:02You don't mind, do you?
00:11:03Well.
00:11:10Hello?
00:11:10Hey, how's it going?
00:11:11Is Tuesday there?
00:11:12Tuesday?
00:11:13Uh, no.
00:11:15She's not here.
00:11:16Well, she gave me this number, though.
00:11:18Well, she gave you a bad number.
00:11:19She sounds just like you.
00:11:21That's not my problem.
00:11:22Ugh.
00:11:25You ready?
00:11:26Yes.
00:11:27I am.
00:11:31You bastard.
00:11:33Showing a mansion.
00:11:36He must think I'm some dumb blonde trailer park white trash.
00:11:41Not.
00:11:41Not.
00:11:46Going out for a little while.
00:11:49Going out for a little while.
00:11:49I don't know.
00:12:19It was a really amazing moment of introspection.
00:12:22Dr. Jenkins, after 30 years...
00:12:25Oh, that's my emergency ringtone. Hold that thought.
00:12:29He's with a woman. Why a woman?
00:12:31Is this an emergency?
00:12:33Absolutely. My life is crumbling. I don't know what to do.
00:12:37Okay, okay. Listen, it's hard for me to ascertain why he's with a woman without me actually talking to him.
00:12:43You sure he can't come in for a couple sessions?
00:12:45Not a chance.
00:12:46Well, I'm just going to have to speculate. Maybe Juan is a spearman. Maybe he wants some variety in his life.
00:12:51Does he need that much variety?
00:12:54Are you mad that he's cheating on you or that he's cheating with a woman?
00:12:56I can hold my own against a man, but how do I compete with a pair of tits and a complexion as smooth as a baby's butt?
00:13:04I hear that. Well, we got to break it down systematically.
00:13:07If Juan is a spearman, give him something different. Give him a different look, something exciting.
00:13:12Besides the sex change operation?
00:13:15That's the last resort.
00:13:17No, maybe you can change your look, change your attire.
00:13:20Give him a whole different persona when you make love.
00:13:22Got it. Thank you, Dr. Jenkins.
00:13:25Sure, you bet.
00:13:28I apologize.
00:13:29Now, where were we?
00:13:31What I was saying was, I think...
00:13:34Oh, you know what? That's the end of our session.
00:13:36We're going to pick this up next week, okay?
00:13:38Make sure you pay my secretary on the way out.
00:13:40I'm sorry.
00:13:40It's your boy flashed out
00:13:45I think that girl over there got a little something
00:13:51She want to show you on me
00:13:52Why are you down and shot so alone
00:13:56Alone
00:13:57Patron up in my song
00:14:00Don't wonder too far
00:14:04Cheat you like a star
00:14:08Cause I own the ball
00:14:10Let it get low
00:14:11Let it get low
00:14:12Let it get low
00:14:13Let it get low
00:14:14Let it get low
00:14:15Get me where I need
00:14:18Let it get low
00:14:20Let it get low
00:14:21Let it get low
00:14:22Let it get low
00:14:22Let it get low
00:14:24Come on
00:14:26She's out of control
00:14:29She's out of control
00:14:31Calling me to the floor
00:14:33And I can't hang out
00:14:35Going out for a little while
00:14:36Have fun
00:14:37Let her see
00:14:56Hurry up
00:14:57Let's hurry up
00:15:00Come on
00:15:00Come on
00:15:00Let her
00:15:01Hello.
00:15:31Oh, you are not playing poker again.
00:16:01What's up girl, you want to get weird?
00:16:11You better back up off of me.
00:16:12Get out of my yard!
00:16:14Damn.
00:16:15Yo, she's a bitch.
00:16:16Yo mama!
00:16:17You want to have no pajama party?
00:16:20What's that?
00:16:30What?
00:16:31I think there's someone in the house.
00:16:32You?
00:16:33Okay.
00:16:34Give me a minute.
00:16:38Hey, hey, guess what?
00:16:41What the hell are you doing here?
00:16:43I got a date tonight.
00:16:44I need to get my stuff set up.
00:16:45Oh no.
00:16:46Seriously?
00:16:47Why are we whispering?
00:16:48Because I got a date now and my stuff is already set up.
00:16:51Meet me downstairs.
00:16:52My clothes are dying and I'm about to get dressed.
00:16:53Okay?
00:16:54Okay.
00:16:55Alright.
00:16:56What am I supposed to do?
00:16:57Man, just tell her you had to get out of the house because you stressed out and you
00:17:01needed some fresh air or something.
00:17:03What the hell are you doing here, Ryan?
00:17:04Hey!
00:17:05What the hell are you out of here?
00:17:07Shhh.
00:17:08Shhh.
00:17:09Shhh.
00:17:10Shhh.
00:17:11Shhh.
00:17:12J-man?
00:17:19Hey, look.
00:17:20Well, you three gotta get up out of here.
00:17:21My girl's gonna be here any minute.
00:17:22I need to set up.
00:17:23You know the hell.
00:17:24Hey, babe.
00:17:25Uh, we having poker today, but you know, I'm gonna reschedule.
00:17:28Is that cool with you?
00:17:29Are you having a poker marathon?
00:17:31Uh, no.
00:17:32We were just, uh...
00:17:33You know, we just kinda came by, you know, saying hello.
00:17:36Oh.
00:17:37Oh.
00:17:38Well, it's no big deal because I have to take off anyway.
00:17:40So, we'll see you later.
00:17:43I'll text you.
00:17:44Aren't you gonna walk me to the door?
00:17:46Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:17:47I'm taking you through the back door.
00:17:48That's right.
00:17:49Back door.
00:17:50Back door.
00:17:51Hey, man, you all gotta leave, man.
00:17:52You gotta leave, man.
00:17:53I gotta go.
00:17:54You gotta leave, man.
00:17:55I have a sure thing, man.
00:17:56Sure thing?
00:17:57Come on, Urkel.
00:17:58You don't have a sure thing.
00:17:59Urkel.
00:18:00Hey, look, man.
00:18:01I am sorry.
00:18:02I ruined your night.
00:18:03I didn't ruin your night.
00:18:04You never had a sure thing.
00:18:05Maybe tomorrow we're gonna figure out a system, a blueprint.
00:18:07So, this won't happen again.
00:18:08See, that's Natalia.
00:18:10Huh?
00:18:11What?
00:18:12Oh, shoot.
00:18:13Okay, you go upstairs.
00:18:14You go upstairs.
00:18:15Me and him, we'll take care of it.
00:18:19Where's he at?
00:18:20Uh, he just left us.
00:18:21Uh, go out.
00:18:22I know you playing poker.
00:18:23No, no, we weren't playing poker.
00:18:24No, we weren't playing poker.
00:18:25No, we weren't playing poker.
00:18:26We were...
00:18:27We just was meeting and...
00:18:28We weren't playing poker?
00:18:29No.
00:18:31You going somewhere?
00:18:34No, we were just thinking about renting the place.
00:18:36Both of you?
00:18:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:18:38Aren't you married?
00:18:39No, I'm not.
00:18:40I'm not married.
00:18:41Well, he might be...
00:18:42Well, not to each other.
00:18:43No, yeah.
00:18:44It's a joke.
00:18:45I'm working for my routine, my stand-up.
00:18:46That's a funny one, too.
00:18:47Yeah, you should try that one out.
00:18:48So, I gotta work out with it, but...
00:18:49Anyway, so, J-Man just let us...
00:18:50J-Man?
00:18:51That's what we call Duke in college college.
00:18:53Yeah, it was an old college nickname.
00:18:54Hey, man, hey!
00:18:55So, anyway, so, Duke, you know, let us in,
00:18:57and he just took off.
00:18:58You lying.
00:18:59He's gone.
00:19:00And you the ringleader!
00:19:01Where's my husband?
00:19:02Hey, come in!
00:19:03Go!
00:19:04I thought Duke is not here!
00:19:07What the hell?!
00:19:11See?
00:19:12This is why I date outside my country.
00:19:14See that?
00:19:15Yeah, man.
00:19:16Hey, come to the light, man.
00:19:17Just saying.
00:19:21Great seeing you, Ron.
00:19:22Oh, it's great seeing you, too, Tommy.
00:19:23I want to thank you all for helping me straight up around here.
00:19:25Yeah, no, no problem.
00:19:26No, I'll see you later.
00:19:27Anytime.
00:19:28Hey, hey, babe.
00:19:29Hey!
00:19:30If you don't get your arms off of me,
00:19:31I'm gonna wipe it off.
00:19:32I'm sorry.
00:19:33I don't know what's going on around here,
00:19:36but if I get home and Duke's not there asleep,
00:19:39I'm gonna come back here,
00:19:41and I'm gonna fuck somebody up.
00:19:43Okay, yeah, he'll do that.
00:19:45Hey, wait, don't move on!
00:19:46But now I know that to have an affair,
00:19:51you have to pay to go out to eat.
00:19:55Can't go over to his house.
00:19:56Can't go over to your house
00:19:57because there's somebody there.
00:20:02Hi.
00:20:06She looks very familiar.
00:20:08Probably an old student of mine.
00:20:10When I count to three,
00:20:16you will wake up feeling refreshed and energized.
00:20:19All your feelings of sadness will be gone.
00:20:22One.
00:20:24Two.
00:20:28Yes.
00:20:29Can I kill her now?
00:20:30Robert, I'm in a session.
00:20:31I told you, only call me if it's an emergency.
00:20:34But here we are.
00:20:35No, no.
00:20:36Do not kill her.
00:20:37Just stick with the plan that we came up with.
00:20:39Oh, please.
00:20:40That is too much work.
00:20:41Will it be worth getting her out of your life forever?
00:20:43I would prefer getting her off the plan,
00:20:45but I suppose removing her from my world will do.
00:20:48Good.
00:20:49Well, go be at it.
00:20:50And we'll talk at the next session.
00:20:52Goodbye, Robert.
00:20:54Somebody poke me on Facebook.
00:20:58Three.
00:21:02I don't feel so good.
00:21:04You okay?
00:21:09Oh, must be something that I ate.
00:21:13Do you need anything?
00:21:16I'm okay.
00:21:18All right.
00:21:19I'm leaving.
00:21:20I'll be back in a few hours.
00:21:21Have fun.
00:21:22The fuck?
00:21:23Come on.
00:21:24Come on!
00:21:38From...
00:21:39Can you excuse me for a moment, I have to use the restroom.
00:22:04Hello.
00:22:07Hi.
00:22:08Have we met before?
00:22:09We just have.
00:22:10I thought you were a former tango student of mine.
00:22:13I'm not a dancer, but I can do a horizontal gripping mumbo.
00:22:19Here, I'll trade you some lessons in the vertical for some in the horizontal.
00:22:24That's a fair trade.
00:22:29Yeah, blush.
00:22:34Lucky bastard.
00:22:35Wow, you son of a bitch, you had the kicking.
00:22:36Look at that, you see that?
00:22:37Hot damn.
00:22:38About time.
00:22:39Wow.
00:22:40Look guys, I want to see what the problem is, man.
00:22:41What's the problem?
00:22:42Ron D, this is a problem.
00:22:43You see, I was about to get in on with Sunday and give her some praise and worship.
00:22:48Then you guys show up giving me a housewarming party.
00:22:50What's up with that?
00:22:51I wasn't invited to a party.
00:22:52Hey, but you know guys, seriously, we almost messed up the love shop.
00:22:57Yeah, I had a short day.
00:22:58Don't you start that, man.
00:22:59Are you serious?
00:23:00Hey, listen guys, we need to devise a plan.
00:23:04We need to come up with a plan, alright?
00:23:05Mm-hmm.
00:23:06I was beginning to think you were married.
00:23:11Hmm?
00:23:12But now that I'm in your place, in your bed, I love you.
00:23:17I love you.
00:23:18Yeah.
00:23:19I love you too.
00:23:20There, there, it'll be okay, Tom.
00:23:21I just need to be held.
00:23:22I'll hold you.
00:23:24It'll be alright.
00:23:25You're awesome.
00:23:26I miss my wife.
00:23:27Aw.
00:23:28Aw.
00:23:29Aw.
00:23:30Aw.
00:23:31Aw.
00:23:32Aw.
00:23:33Aw.
00:23:34Aw.
00:23:35Aw.
00:23:36Aw.
00:23:37Aw.
00:23:38Aw.
00:23:39Aw.
00:23:40Aw.
00:23:41Aw.
00:23:42Aw.
00:23:44Aw.
00:23:45Aw.
00:23:46Aw.
00:23:47Aw, balloon.
00:23:48Can we not talk about her right now though?
00:23:50Baby.
00:23:51Daddy lost his keys, he's gonna have to go in the back door.
00:23:54Aw, wow, what do you mean back door?
00:23:56Let me show you.
00:23:57Oh, wow, my god.
00:24:04Aw.
00:24:06Mm, I've always wanted to do it with twins.
00:24:09Oh, hell nah.
00:24:11I'm not crossing swords for my brother.
00:24:12We couldn't even share the same mother without fighting.
00:24:15Nah, that's a good sermon for Sunday.
00:24:17But not for me.
00:24:18Now where was I?
00:24:22I'm there.
00:24:41I like fish sticks.
00:24:42I like fish sticks.
00:24:44Yeah.
00:24:47I like fish sticks.
00:24:50Wow.
00:24:53Hello, hello.
00:25:05So how long have you been living in the hood?
00:25:06Not long.
00:25:07I got a small inheritance,
00:25:08and decided to upgrade my living situation.
00:25:10Nice.
00:25:12No chance of me getting an inheritance.
00:25:15I'm gonna have to marry up,
00:25:15if I'm gonna do any upgrading.
00:25:18What's your husband do?
00:25:19He's a realtor.
00:25:20Oh, I'm sorry.
00:25:23It's not that bad.
00:25:24It could be worse.
00:25:26He could suck in bed.
00:25:28Then again lately.
00:25:31Do you think there's someone else?
00:25:32No way.
00:25:35Then again.
00:25:37You can ask him yourself.
00:25:40Hey, how you doing, honey?
00:25:41Hey.
00:25:42Toosie wants to know if you're sleeping with someone else.
00:25:47Nice to meet you.
00:25:48Hi.
00:25:49Toosie's kind of new to the hood.
00:25:54We met when we were carrying groceries up.
00:25:59Hey.
00:26:00I'm sorry.
00:26:01I need to go take a shower.
00:26:03And then go for a face show.
00:26:05You'll find out if he's fooling around.
00:26:07You guys are very amusing.
00:26:10So Leticia tells me you haven't been too interested lately.
00:26:14She said what?
00:26:15What's up with that?
00:26:19Sunday?
00:26:20No.
00:26:21Tuesday.
00:26:23What the hell you doing here?
00:26:24What are you talking about?
00:26:26Listen.
00:26:27My wife, she's not too fine on my brother.
00:26:30If she knew that I set you up with him,
00:26:32it wouldn't look too good on me.
00:26:34What are you talking about?
00:26:35Keep the damn voice down.
00:26:38Look.
00:26:39I gotta go.
00:26:40Tell Leticia I'll call her.
00:26:42What's going on?
00:26:43Sunday?
00:26:44Church, I guess.
00:26:45I gotta go.
00:26:47What? Church?
00:26:48Wait.
00:26:49Hey, babe.
00:26:50Is this J-Man?
00:26:51Who's this?
00:26:52This is Dr. English.
00:26:53Yeah, this is J-Man.
00:26:54Mr. Johnson, have you met Tuesday?
00:26:56Yeah, we'd chill together sometime.
00:26:57I thought so.
00:26:58Hmm.
00:26:59I'm currently treating Sunday for Multiple Personality Disorder.
00:27:02Have you met any other days of her week?
00:27:03No, I haven't.
00:27:04Doc, is she crazy?
00:27:05Because I'm feeling kinda crazy.
00:27:07Do you think she put cyanide in my drink or something?
00:27:08What's going on?
00:27:09Help me.
00:27:10Okay, Mr. Johnson.
00:27:11I'm going to need you to come into the office.
00:27:13Alright, in a minute.
00:27:15This is Dr. English.
00:27:16This is Dr. English.
00:27:17Yeah, this is J-Man.
00:27:18Mr. Johnson, have you met Tuesday?
00:27:20Yeah, we'd chill together sometime.
00:27:21I thought so.
00:27:23Hmm.
00:27:24I'm currently treating Sunday for Multiple Personality Disorders.
00:27:27Have you met any other days of her week?
00:27:28No, I haven't.
00:27:29Doc, is she crazy?
00:27:30All right, in a minute.
00:27:46A white supremacist?
00:27:49Monday is from Mississippi.
00:27:52Circa 1955.
00:27:54And her great-grandfather was a Confederate general.
00:27:58So far, she only appears very briefly.
00:28:02But she has the potential to be very dangerous.
00:28:06Now, I can't go into specifics.
00:28:10But suffice it to say, the last time she did manifest herself,
00:28:14the police were involved.
00:28:17Whoa. You know what, Doc?
00:28:20I think it's time for me to end things with Sunday. You feel me?
00:28:24No, I wish you wouldn't do that.
00:28:26If her life gets upset now,
00:28:28we may lose all the progress we've achieved so far.
00:28:31And I personally believe we're very close to a breakthrough.
00:28:35Look, Doc, I got a few personalities of my own. You feel me?
00:28:38But neither of them went on lunch a damn black man.
00:28:41I hope I haven't given you the impression that Monday is homicidal.
00:28:46She merely has a rage issue.
00:28:48A rage issue? You seriously, a rage issue?
00:28:50It's nothing serious, I assure you.
00:28:53You just need to be aware of it.
00:28:55Yeah, and not overreact.
00:29:03All right, all right, all right.
00:29:05Cool.
00:29:10I think I can handle that.
00:29:11I should mention, if you are seeing Sunday intimately,
00:29:20and suddenly Monday emerges,
00:29:22make sure she does not give you oral sex.
00:29:25What? Seriously?
00:29:30Good day, Mr. Johnson.
00:29:41You okay?
00:29:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:45I'm okay.
00:29:46Just drunk too many Red Bulls with that Vuvaca at the studio today.
00:29:50That's all.
00:29:51Let me make you feel better.
00:29:56How?
00:29:57I want to give you something special.
00:30:01Just make sure she does not give you oral sex.
00:30:04Oh, what is it?
00:30:06Hold on.
00:30:07This is all I could.
00:30:08Hold on.
00:30:09Just let me do you.
00:30:11Okay.
00:30:12Let me do you, baby.
00:30:15Yeah.
00:30:19Oh.
00:30:21Oh.
00:30:22Oh.
00:30:24You are a love letter written in secret code.
00:30:28Maybe you can unlock that code.
00:30:30I can unlock any code, baby.
00:30:33It's a nice place.
00:30:37It's gorgeous.
00:30:42What you think about the artwork?
00:30:44I think it's gorgeous.
00:30:46It's by a famous designer named Tamani Elliott.
00:30:49This is called her Juju collection.
00:30:52Juju collection.
00:30:53Yes.
00:30:59So does Leticia know about these digs?
00:31:01Nope.
00:31:03Should she?
00:31:04Well, what if she finds out?
00:31:05Are you going to tell her?
00:31:07Depends on how good you are with that massage.
00:31:09Oh, baby.
00:31:10I'm real good.
00:31:11Let me show you.
00:31:12Come here.
00:31:13Yeah?
00:31:14Yeah.
00:31:19Ooh.
00:31:20You got strong hands.
00:31:21Yeah.
00:31:22What the hell?
00:31:38Shit.
00:31:43Mm.
00:31:45I'm starting to feel guilty.
00:31:48You should.
00:31:49It's your turn.
00:31:50All right.
00:31:53You can walk.
00:31:54I will.
00:31:56Here you go.
00:31:58What's this?
00:31:59What's what?
00:32:00These scratches.
00:32:01Remember you did.
00:32:03Remember what?
00:32:05Never mind.
00:32:06I was thinking of something else.
00:32:08You bastard.
00:32:10What?
00:32:11Drinks.
00:32:15What?
00:32:16What?
00:32:17What?
00:32:18What?
00:32:23Uh...
00:32:24so it costs money to have an affair that's relationship you might get a couple of these
00:32:48groupies out there once well but even the most ratchet chick would be like uh-uh
00:32:51this is wan hello dance man do you know who is this yes i think i do are you ready for your lesson
00:33:10most importantly are you ready for yours okay tonight's gonna be fun most definitely what's
00:33:18your address see you there
00:33:23are you okay couldn't be better sugar i'll be out before you can say cat on a hot tin roof
00:33:44monday dr english hello dr english jayman i think monday's about to come out of the bathroom
00:33:56and she may she may want to lynch me this is not good um where are you i'll text you the address
00:34:01all right yes there's two ways i approach cheap mail i can go down on y'all or y'all can go down on me
00:34:13no no no i'll go down on you
00:34:15no i think i'll go down on y'all
00:34:20wait whoa
00:34:21no
00:34:22come on
00:34:24hello who are you who are you i'm juan this is my mansion
00:34:34i'm tiffany and this is rebecca
00:34:37oh rebecca yes uh you're tom's hairstylist have we met no but i stopped in the shop once
00:34:45isn't this tom's mansion uh actually we're we're roommates roommates
00:34:51sort of look would you mind terribly just leave for a couple hours we're planning a really big
00:35:00surprise for tom it's big i'd love to but i have a pressing engagement she's gonna be here any minute
00:35:06no no no that's it's not gonna work
00:35:08i'm sorry i'm afraid i'm gonna have to ask you guys to leave and have your surprise another time
00:35:13look we planned a big dinner we got everything ready it looks really really nice
00:35:18where's the food
00:35:21it's being delivered
00:35:23yeah i'm sorry this is this is not gonna work i'm gonna have to ask you two to leave
00:35:28just just one minute
00:35:31you guys are gonna have to go yeah
00:35:32no no
00:35:33didn't your mother ever teach you not to argue with women
00:35:41my mother taught me that arguing with women makes you want to take your pants off
00:35:44you agree right
00:35:45what
00:35:47you feel it too
00:35:48you definitely do not feel that
00:35:50tom
00:35:51he has a key
00:35:53i have his key is that tom
00:35:55not unless he's in rupaul's drag race
00:35:58it's heather
00:35:59no offense but is this the alcohol scenario
00:36:02oh i assure you i do not and never paid for sex
00:36:05you two gotta go
00:36:07take tom out for dinner
00:36:09we were here first
00:36:10heather bumpkin come in you are delicious
00:36:13thank you
00:36:15dark as the day is warm
00:36:17let's all have de let together
00:36:19that's a great idea
00:36:21no
00:36:22see these girls are completely unreasonable
00:36:23yeah it's not gonna work
00:36:25tom
00:36:27he has a key
00:36:28i have his key
00:36:29who let you two in here
00:36:33what are you doing here
00:36:35my man what are you doing here
00:36:36what are you doing here
00:36:37ron d you sent me a text
00:36:39you said i could use the mansion tonight
00:36:40no never said nothing like that
00:36:42what are you another roommate
00:36:43oh this is rebecca
00:36:44this is tom's hair stylist friend
00:36:46okay
00:36:47hi i'm tiffany
00:36:50how are you
00:36:51okay okay well look
00:36:53sorry it's been some type of mistake
00:36:54so you all gotta get out of here
00:36:56man i got an important date tonight
00:36:57ron d you said that i could have the mansion
00:36:59no man you gotta go
00:37:00man i gotta
00:37:01he has a key
00:37:02i have his key dumbass
00:37:05wait how do you have his key
00:37:06where is sunday
00:37:09it will be just here
00:37:10if you wait three more days
00:37:12this is a medical emergency
00:37:13i need to see sunday immediately
00:37:15wait a second
00:37:17we can't do this
00:37:18should we check it out
00:37:21should we check it out
00:37:28well we could get a coffee
00:37:30and avoid the risk of a racial profiling charge
00:37:33or we could just patriarch it
00:37:34sure choice
00:37:35hmm
00:37:37yeah
00:37:38a lot of paperwork
00:37:40it's probably just take out
00:37:42but let's keep an eye on this place
00:37:45this is not the way
00:37:46we gave him three days
00:37:48that's three days
00:37:49that he has ignored us
00:37:51it is disrespectful at this time
00:37:53i know but he doesn't have any understanding of our culture
00:37:55listen it is imperative i see sunday immediately where is she
00:38:03okay look dr english sunday is not here maybe she's with j man or something
00:38:07j man
00:38:08yeah that's like her
00:38:09what the hell is going on here
00:38:11mr johnson where is sunday
00:38:13she's upstairs
00:38:14she's upstairs
00:38:14so you're in on this too
00:38:16in on what ron d you said it was cool for me to get the mansion today man
00:38:20i never said that oh oh
00:38:21just like i said it was okay for one to do that too huh
00:38:24you didn't
00:38:24i didn't man
00:38:26look right here see see the text
00:38:28text don't lie
00:38:30man i ain't sending that shit
00:38:31but somebody sent it who the hell sent it then
00:38:33i don't know
00:38:33man you playin hey dog
00:38:35oh
00:38:35you got some explaining to do
00:38:37uh open house
00:38:39open house my ass
00:38:41sit down
00:38:42oh no
00:38:44what she doing here
00:38:46sister what are you doing here
00:38:48look fine as hell in that dress
00:38:50you got going on girl
00:38:52i don't know what the hell is going on with you people
00:38:54but all of you need to leave
00:38:56because we have something going on right now
00:38:59we're out of here let's go
00:39:01oh hell no
00:39:03get back here
00:39:04what the fuck
00:39:08i gotta change man it's too fucking hot
00:39:10alright stand over here and i'll be back
00:39:11it looks like something is going down
00:39:14wait a second
00:39:15see they must live here
00:39:20no they don't look like they live here
00:39:22i bet you would think i couldn't live here
00:39:26you can't
00:39:28once more around the block
00:39:30who the hell juan is
00:39:32i need to get out of here
00:39:34you need to get out of here
00:39:35i was here first
00:39:36but look so listen
00:39:58so before you start judging
00:39:59my wife
00:40:00she's uh
00:40:01she
00:40:03she'll be at the bar
00:40:05she's over
00:40:05oh no no no
00:40:07that's right
00:40:08she's over here
00:40:08she's over here
00:40:09but see
00:40:11she's also
00:40:12my business manager
00:40:13so she don't hear nothing i say
00:40:15no seriously
00:40:16if she just don't hear nothing i say
00:40:18watch this
00:40:18sir
00:40:19babe
00:40:21babe
00:40:21go and kill yourself
00:40:23babe go kill yourself girl
00:40:26go kill your damn self
00:40:27babe
00:40:28babe
00:40:28babe
00:40:29babe
00:40:30babe
00:40:30you can look at me now
00:40:32babe
00:40:33for real
00:40:34hey
00:40:34hey babe
00:40:34i love you
00:40:35so when she finally heard this bit
00:40:38that i
00:40:40well i was cheating on her
00:40:42and having an affair
00:40:42she thought it was funny
00:40:44she's like oh that's funny
00:40:45i thought what was even funnier
00:40:46is that you know it's the truth
00:40:48it's really happening
00:40:49and she looked at me and she said
00:40:51boy nobody wants your broke ass
00:40:54i'm trying to do a joke
00:41:00i killed them they weren't expecting that
00:41:01destroyed them
00:41:02what did you say
00:41:03they weren't expecting that
00:41:04they were like loving and hating me
00:41:05all in the same thing
00:41:06they couldn't they couldn't handle that
00:41:07oh the new joke
00:41:09um i wasn't listening
00:41:11i wasn't listening
00:41:12okay we gotta go
00:41:16i've got the cash
00:41:17no no no i want to see the next act
00:41:19you were performing in san francisco tomorrow night remember
00:41:23yeah
00:41:24which means
00:41:25you have to get up early
00:41:27okay
00:41:29grab a drink i'll be in the car
00:41:30alright
00:41:32can't believe eddie didn't win an oscar for life
00:41:40or the clumps
00:41:41hey babe
00:41:54when am i going to see you
00:41:57uh next week
00:41:59you gotta do better than that
00:42:02no no no okay okay
00:42:04now look
00:42:05you know what
00:42:05i was going to surprise you
00:42:07when i got back from san francisco
00:42:08but if you insist
00:42:11i uh rented a mansion
00:42:13mansion
00:42:14yeah
00:42:16can you just give me a little time
00:42:18five minutes
00:42:19but just give me an hour okay
00:42:22oh
00:42:23straighten up a little bit
00:42:24and i'll text you the address
00:42:26okay daddy
00:42:27oh there you go
00:42:28see you naughty self
00:42:31i'll see you in an hour okay
00:42:32okay
00:42:35babe
00:42:37babe
00:42:39don't even think of making me open my eyes
00:42:42i'm just going to go to the comedy club i left my jacket there they just called
00:42:45idiot
00:42:48idiot
00:42:58i'll admit that i'm wrong
00:43:00and it's hard to be me
00:43:02sometimes i'll be ditching the fans
00:43:03or running around chasing my dream
00:43:14tonight is your night bro
00:43:16what the hell
00:43:18what's that
00:43:19what the hell are you doing here ronji
00:43:20hey
00:43:22what the hell are y'all doing here
00:43:23shh shh shh shh shh
00:43:26hey look when you three gotta get up out of here my girls gonna be here any minute
00:43:28i need to set up you know that company
00:43:30hey babe uh we haven't poker today but you know i'm gonna reschedule
00:43:34is that cool with you
00:43:36are you having a poker marathon
00:43:38uh no we would just uh
00:43:40you know we kind of
00:43:41came by you know
00:43:42say hello
00:43:43oh well it's no big deal because i had to take off anyway so
00:43:47see you later
00:43:49i'll text you later yeah
00:43:51aren't you gonna walk me through the door
00:43:53of course yes i'm gonna take you through the back door
00:43:54back door back door
00:43:56hey man you all gotta leave man
00:43:58you gotta leave man you gotta go
00:44:00i'm not gonna leave man i have a sure thing man
00:44:01sure come on urkel you have a sure thing
00:44:03urkel
00:44:09yeah you might want to be cremated because there won't be enough remains left to bury
00:44:14yo this girl yeah all right she's that hot
00:44:18do black men hang like elephants she is hot
00:44:22there's actually two species of elephants
00:44:25what well why don't you just take her here
00:44:29wait a minute j man would you possibly consider occasionally subletting
00:44:35this place to me and my alter ego you know what that's what i'm gonna get any of that
00:44:39actually i feel a little alter ego coming on myself i'm like spider-man i'm sure i can talk
00:44:44to the owners about leasing this place to us yeah how much for you know for three of us for four
00:44:49what but i don't have any action on the side what's up you can come here and you can master debate and
00:44:56watch porn you know you haven't banged your barber yet
00:45:00i'm married juan
00:45:02so a woman who won't let you watch porn or jack off and doesn't even have sex with you now what do you
00:45:06mean
00:45:08tom we're all married man yeah but uh but i don't need to i'm happily married
00:45:13come on guys no you're not
00:45:17contently married okay
00:45:21i'm not miserable well
00:45:24occasionally i'm not miserable you know and that's that's more than most married guys can say
00:45:28okay so then why are you still stalking this barber of yours
00:45:33she is wonderful uh awesome beautiful yeah okay so let me ask you this if this wonderful girl
00:45:42decides to give you that chance where you gonna take her tom can't go home well i didn't think about
00:45:50that part in advance
00:46:06she is a babe tom are you gonna tell me why i had to dress in all black so what's the problem tom
00:46:12my wife i mean i don't feel right about this okay you're letting your tortured catholic upbringing cloud
00:46:18your senses i love the new pope you know he's so progressive okay okay okay i want you to focus
00:46:23okay i want you to do what i say and do not think about it
00:46:28i want you to tell her that your wife was just killed in a horrible car accident i mean
00:46:32blood everywhere five car pile up unborn baby is dead you've used your tears to masturbate for the past
00:46:39five days what i can't tell her that well tom it's either that or you walk in there you tell
00:46:46you're with the men in black and the only way to save the world is to have sex with you oh that's
00:46:50even worse i can't tell her any of that stuff it would help if you were crying
00:46:57but i don't feel like crying cry cry cry god damn it that was fun
00:47:16what's up tom you don't have an appointment do you what happened are you okay my wife
00:47:30she was killed in a car accident
00:47:35oh my god oh my god tom tom it's gonna be okay i promise i'm so sorry
00:47:46okay feel the sensuality of the music let it flow through your body
00:48:04let it connect us like lovers one one i have a date tonight congratulations
00:48:09well what do i do now tell her you don't want to be alone oh right but then what
00:48:17tom is the mansion set up it has to look like you live right right
00:48:24sorry about tom who
00:48:46honey honey what are you doing hey where's my portrait oh i forgot to tell you that uh
00:48:56it cracked it i took it to the framers why
00:48:59um i was trying to kill a pantry moth and it fell incorrect a pantry moth
00:49:11what are you doing i can't have pieces of broken glass in the carpet i already vacuumed
00:49:15that's it we're gonna have the fumigate for pieces of glass no panty moth it's just one moth it's just one that you saw
00:49:28i got some emails to check then i'm gonna go to bed okay sounds good i'm gonna do a little reading and uh
00:49:40go for a walk okay all right
00:49:52go for a walk okay all right
00:50:05go for a walk what's that
00:50:09i think there's someone in the house
00:50:23in the house okay
00:50:25give me a minute
00:50:32hey hey guess what what the hell you doing here i got a date tonight i need to get my stuff set up oh
00:50:38no what why are we whispering because i got a date right now and my stuff is already set up
00:50:43now i got a sure thing though come on you can't hook me up okay my clothes are downstairs meet me down
00:50:47there and i get dressed okay all right
00:50:54great seeing you ron oh it's great seeing you too tom i want to thank you all for helping me
00:50:57straight up yeah no no no see you later hey hey hey if you don't get your arms off of me i'm gonna rip it
00:51:05off sorry i don't know what's going on around here but if i get home and duke's not there asleep
00:51:13i'm gonna come back here and i'm gonna fuck somebody up okay
00:51:26do you want to go to the bedroom why don't we start in the bedroom come back and get a jacuzzi
00:51:34hot we're gonna do it in the oven pit we're gonna do it everywhere it's gonna be a pleasure too
00:51:38that's right we're gonna put it in a garbage can and we're gonna get dirty tonight
00:51:46there i got it now you can stop complaining
00:51:51that's the best you could do
00:51:55why do i have to get out of here i own the place
00:51:57don't forget your mommy's lasagna on the way home okay dude hey dad
00:52:11what's wrong i was really hoping rebecca would be here
00:52:15you just missed her
00:52:17well with my luck lately i'm not surprised
00:52:18tom
00:52:25i'm done practice at an event do you want to hang out
00:52:28you probably have better things to do
00:52:31no i insist
00:52:33thank you for being there glad to help
00:52:48i hope this doesn't screw up anything between you and rebecca oh no she's she's open anything that
00:52:53gets me through this morning period she's so understanding she's an angel but but but i don't think i don't
00:53:03i don't i don't think you should say anything to her
00:53:07i agree
00:53:11well i'll just take down your number i cut men's hair right now i'm sure dogs would like the same thing
00:53:15right yeah i'm sorry one second
00:53:24mother
00:53:33i just saw kate
00:53:40tom's wife
00:53:42that's impossible she's dead
00:53:44no no no i am really really good with faces and it was her
00:53:48you've only seen that one photo of her on the nightstand
00:53:51how do you know about the photo
00:53:53you told me about it
00:53:55yeah you said uh he wrapped it in a black ribbon
00:53:58i got a picture of her license plate don't you know what guy
00:54:04i got a guy at dnb i'm gonna have him run it for us
00:54:11so i slam dunked it and we won the game
00:54:13no way
00:54:16that's awesome well i guess i'm kind of awesome
00:54:19so paul
00:54:21you got a name for me kate white kate white got it
00:54:25thanks doll
00:54:28what a sick
00:54:29fucking bastard i can't believe he did this to me
00:54:33i mean i can't believe he did this to you
00:54:36you being my best friend
00:54:42he is going to so wish he never met me
00:54:47you know what whatever you're planning count me in nobody does this to me
00:54:50i mean to my friends
00:55:07yes hi i'm rebecca and i'm tiffany we're tom's friends
00:55:13really he never mentioned you two before
00:55:18yeah maybe friend isn't the right word
00:55:22may i come in
00:55:35lovers he told me you were dead as a matter of fact you died in a car accident
00:55:39oh same i just felt sorry for him he came in crying and then
00:55:44next thing i know we're we were in bed
00:55:46yeah me too
00:55:48he has a picture of you on a mantle
00:55:50my photo draped in black silk
00:55:53where's my photo it's at the mansion
00:55:56what mansion where's the mansion
00:55:59it's never mind
00:56:01i'm gonna put his balls in a meat grinder
00:56:03we want to help
00:56:05okay all right let me think
00:56:08okay he wants me dead huh
00:56:12okay i'll give him dead
00:56:14where's this mansion i know where the bedroom is
00:56:19what'd i do
00:56:22okay dad
00:56:23tom
00:56:29just the guy i wanted to see
00:56:32how are you good you
00:56:35you know tiffany told me about the two of you your little rendezvous
00:56:40she did
00:56:41it's okay i completely understand
00:56:45as a matter of fact
00:56:47i was thinking that you know
00:56:49her and i can make you feel good together
00:56:54really
00:56:56you've ever been with two women tom
00:56:59are you kidding i mean i had the opportunity a few times but you know that was that was back when
00:57:04my wife was alive and and i would never cheat on her no of course not she's not here anymore so tonight
00:57:13tonight yeah does that work for you sure
00:57:16i would bring loss of protection
00:57:21see you tonight then
00:57:31so this is a love shack
00:57:33let's get back in
00:57:41apparently
00:57:42that is not my shade
00:57:44how many women is he sleeping with
00:57:49wow
00:57:49then walls are such a big mansion
00:57:52and i thought my neighbors were annoying
00:57:54look let's just carry on with the plan casanova could show up early
00:58:03it's okay i know how to use it
00:58:10okay i'm going to go get in position
00:58:12good idea we're about five minutes from being set up
00:58:15would you do something
00:58:17what do you want me to do
00:58:19here are the fake blood packets
00:58:21oh it's in a condom
00:58:24was she on her period
00:58:25oh look when i start shooting slap it on your chest and they'll burst open
00:58:32but it's an economy i'm wearing coco chanel
00:58:35i'll pay for your dry cleaning
00:58:38okay i'm gonna come in and i'm gonna yell i have a gun and then you guys get the blood packs ready
00:58:44okay okay
00:58:45got it
00:58:49what's that noise
00:58:50she said she have a gun
00:58:52who is she
00:58:53how the hell am i supposed to know i don't know all i know this mantra is jinx
00:59:05what's going on hun child i'm listening give me a minute they have an argument
00:59:10we should call the police
00:59:11the police really yeah it's the police oh this is rebecca this is tom's hair stylist friend
00:59:19hi i'm tiffany how are you okay okay well look sorry it's been some type of mistake so
00:59:25you all gotta get out of here man i got an important day tonight
00:59:27i think you said that i could have the mansion
00:59:29no man you gotta go
00:59:31he has a key
00:59:33i have his key dumbass
00:59:35wait how do you have his key
00:59:38where is sunday
00:59:39okay okay forget it we're not gonna call the police
00:59:44wait a minute is that dr english
00:59:46doctor who
00:59:47dr english wait right here i'll be right back
00:59:54listen it is imperative i see sunday immediately where is she okay look dr english sunday is not
01:00:00here maybe she's with j man or something j man
01:00:02what the hell is going on here mr johnson where is sunday she's upstairs
01:00:10so you're in on this too in on what ron d you said it was cool for me to get the mansion today man
01:00:14i never said that oh just like i said it was okay for one to do that too huh you did i didn't man
01:00:20look right here see see the text text don't lie
01:00:24so yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so i got one date right huh
01:00:31well will was right girls of the world ain't nothing but trouble hey i'm going for a walk i'm out
01:00:56so
01:01:05so
01:01:07so
01:02:41I can't do this.
01:02:42This is not the way.
01:02:44We gave him three days.
01:02:46That's three days that he has ignored us.
01:02:48It is disrespectful at this time.
01:02:50I know, but he doesn't have any understanding of our culture.
01:02:52I will not have this.
01:02:53Please, give me one more chance.
01:02:55Please, give me one more chance.
01:02:57Let's go.
01:02:58Let's go.
01:02:59Let's go.
01:03:00Let's go.
01:03:02Let's go.
01:03:03Let's go.
01:03:04Let's go.
01:03:05Let's go.
01:03:07Let's go.
01:03:08Let's go.
01:03:09Let's go.
01:03:10Let's go.
01:03:11Let's go.
01:03:12Let's go.
01:03:13Let's go.
01:03:14Let's go.
01:03:15Let's go.
01:03:16Let's go.
01:03:17Let's go.
01:03:18Let's go.
01:03:46Let's go.
01:03:47You expecting someone?
01:03:48No pretty.
01:03:49No really.
01:03:50I'll be right back.
01:03:53Baby that's my P.O.
01:03:56Just tell him I piss in a cup later, but you have to do it for me.
01:04:00Shh.
01:04:01I just hope you're not pregnant, or how would I explain that?
01:04:14Salaam.
01:04:16Salaam Alaikum Samia, my sister.
01:04:19Jamal, what are you doing here?
01:04:26Who is this man?
01:04:28This is Rondi. Rondi, my brother Jamal.
01:04:32Hey there. Hey.
01:04:35You married without my permission?
01:04:37No, no, no. We're not married.
01:04:39What? Defiler!
01:04:41Cover yourself, sister.
01:04:44Then you, come forward.
01:04:46Look, Jamal, it's different here.
01:04:49It's a totally different culture.
01:04:51Rondi's actually my partner.
01:04:55Partner!
01:04:57Do you lie with this man, Rondi?
01:05:03Your silence has answered my question.
01:05:06Rondi!
01:05:08You must choose to do honor to my family
01:05:11or suffer the fate of an infidel.
01:05:13The fate of a defiler.
01:05:15You must marry Samia before Jamal.
01:05:18Before Jamal? Who the hell is Jamal?
01:05:21It's Friday.
01:05:23Okay, okay. So what if I decide to be this defiler?
01:05:27Regretfully, you both will be stoned to death.
01:05:31You have to tell Jamal to decide.
01:05:33Wait, Jamal?
01:05:34Hold up. So he's Jamal?
01:05:36Some other dude named Jamal?
01:05:37What's...
01:05:38Oh, come on. This is not funny.
01:05:40Everything is funny to me.
01:05:41Everything is funny to me.
01:05:42This is ridiculous.
01:05:43How did I know they were arriving so soon?
01:05:45I don't know who this damn Jamal is.
01:05:46I'm really sorry about my family.
01:05:56I had no idea they would be arriving so soon.
01:05:59That's all you gotta say?
01:06:01So, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:06:03You knew that Adam's family was gonna attack me.
01:06:05You didn't wanna warn me?
01:06:06Adam's family?
01:06:07Now you're going to insult my family?
01:06:09Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
01:06:11But you have to admit they're a little strange, right?
01:06:13Strange?
01:06:14Well, maybe they're just not what you used to.
01:06:17What I'm used to?
01:06:19Babe, your brother threatened to stone us to death in three days.
01:06:22I'm not even making that up.
01:06:23I couldn't even put that in my stand-up.
01:06:24Look, okay, everybody, everybody, listen, listen, listen, listen.
01:06:26My woman and I are going through this little problem.
01:06:28Her family's gonna stone us to death in three days.
01:06:31And we're trying to decide what to wear.
01:06:33Well, it's not funny.
01:06:35Okay, babe, babe, listen, listen.
01:06:37Stoning it down, I'm just...
01:06:38I guess I'm out of my league.
01:06:39So what do you suggest we do?
01:06:41Well, we never really talk about our future.
01:06:44But I've been feeling that we are heading towards marriage.
01:06:51Unless I'm imagining.
01:06:52No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I love you. I really do.
01:06:56Then why we don't tell to my family that we're gonna get married?
01:06:59Okay, you know what? I guess it's no good time to tell you this and...
01:07:04I am sorry, all right?
01:07:07What?
01:07:13What?
01:07:16Are you married?
01:07:19Oh, my God.
01:07:20Yeah, I've been trying to tell you, but it's...
01:07:23It's complicated.
01:07:24Well, complicated?
01:07:26Well, I'm sorry to complicate your life.
01:07:28No, no, no.
01:07:29I mean, what are you talking about?
01:07:30No, that's not what I meant.
01:07:31Listen, listen, listen, listen.
01:07:32Look at me.
01:07:33I can't believe this is happening.
01:07:34Hey, hey, hey.
01:07:35Listen.
01:07:36Focus.
01:07:37Look at me.
01:07:38Look at me, all right?
01:07:39Now, look, I love you.
01:07:40I really do.
01:07:41But I'm in a very bad marriage with, unfortunately, my wife.
01:07:43Look at me.
01:07:44It's my business manager.
01:07:46So I have to be very careful on how I not end my career by ending this marriage.
01:07:51You understand?
01:07:52Then you have just three days, or you would like to be stoned to death.
01:07:59Then I'll see how that complication do it to your career.
01:08:03Then you have to make me first.
01:08:04Oh, man.
01:08:05I remember that.
01:08:07No, no.
01:08:08Put the arm down.
01:08:09HIPP Oooh.
01:08:11Oh, shit.
01:08:12What's up?
01:08:13What's up?
01:08:191917?
01:08:20Unity Mrs. dollar.
01:08:22OK.
01:08:23L lorsque!
01:08:24Whichε±!
01:08:26Tuve!
01:08:28You can see what you said Seniera,
01:08:30please.
01:08:31You already have a number one wife.
01:08:33This is unfortunate.
01:08:37The dowry for a number one wife is a gold bullion
01:08:40worth very much money on today's COMEX gold index.
01:08:45Dowry for a number two wife, not so good.
01:08:50Number two wife?
01:08:51Don't even think about it.
01:08:53I'm trying, I mean, me, you, and hers,
01:08:55a legal threesome to death do us part, man.
01:08:57I mean, let them all finish.
01:09:00In three days, we observe Jum'ah.
01:09:03Then we proceed with a wedding or a stoning.
01:09:06This will be your decision.
01:09:08Hey, man, come on.
01:09:10But now let me ask you this.
01:09:11So what is the dowry for a second wife?
01:09:15I'm just asking you.
01:09:17Jum'ah, that's my dude.
01:09:19The next born camel and 1,000 pounds
01:09:21of genetically engineered cotton seed for your farm.
01:09:25Oh, I don't have a farm.
01:09:26I just smoke it.
01:09:27I don't grow it.
01:09:28But, man, let's just hit this peace pipe
01:09:30and let's just call it even, man.
01:09:47Samia.
01:09:51I'm going to talk to Ron.
01:09:53Jum'ah is now over.
01:09:54Your Rondi must decide.
01:09:55I'm going to let you know
01:09:57as soon as he gives his answer.
01:09:58No need.
01:09:59We all go together.
01:10:00Well, no.
01:10:01Wait, wait.
01:10:02It's better if I go by myself.
01:10:04Yalla, yalla.
01:10:05Put the stones in the minivan
01:10:06and call the others.
01:10:11That's crazy.
01:10:12This is not the way.
01:10:13We gave him three days.
01:10:16That's three days that he has ignored us.
01:10:18It is disrespectful at this time.
01:10:20I know, but he doesn't have any understanding
01:10:21of our culture.
01:10:22I will not have this.
01:10:25Please, give me one more chance.
01:10:27How are you?
01:10:27And why are you here?
01:10:29I need to get out of here.
01:10:30You need to get out of here.
01:10:30No, no, no.
01:10:31You need me.
01:10:32We need this way.
01:10:33See?
01:10:34I got to deal with this shit right here.
01:10:42How many wives you have?
01:10:44Those are my wives.
01:10:45But you can have this one right here, sure.
01:10:47Show you a good time.
01:10:48It's all you.
01:10:49Put the stones over there
01:10:50and be ready.
01:10:52You really brought stones.
01:10:54You really brought stones.
01:10:56It is now time, Rondi,
01:10:57for your decision.
01:10:58I don't know.
01:11:04I'm going to tell you, I love you.
01:11:12I truly do.
01:11:14So will you do the honor
01:11:15of being my second wife?
01:11:17Just for now.
01:11:18Just until you can be my first wife.
01:11:20And I promise when you can,
01:11:22you will be.
01:11:24All right?
01:11:26Come on.
01:11:28Okay.
01:11:29I promise.
01:11:31Okay.
01:11:31All right.
01:11:34I don't know what I'm going to do.
01:11:41This is ridiculous.
01:11:42Prince Alibaba is going to stone us
01:11:44if we tell him to leave.
01:11:46Is it your figure?
01:11:48Tom.
01:11:49Look at the door.
01:11:50The way this day is going,
01:11:51I doubt it.
01:11:53But I might as well continue
01:11:54my hostess duties.
01:11:59Well, hello, Tom.
01:12:00Hello there.
01:12:01Welcome.
01:12:01Welcome to the party.
01:12:05Wait, hold on a second.
01:12:06Who are all these people?
01:12:07It's the party dude.
01:12:09The party dude?
01:12:10Who's the party dude?
01:12:11You're the party dude.
01:12:13Okay.
01:12:13Whatever, man.
01:12:15Rebecca, I'm so sorry.
01:12:16I don't know what's going on here.
01:12:19It's okay.
01:12:20I like your friends, Tom.
01:12:35You see that?
01:12:37You mean the baby or the gun?
01:12:39Now we need to investigate.
01:12:41Let's go.
01:12:41Honey, are you a tired girl?
01:12:52Why are you worried about that?
01:12:53We totally weren't going to sleep on it.
01:12:54This is the party dude.
01:12:55Rondy texted me.
01:12:57It said that we got...
01:12:57Wait, wait, wait.
01:12:59Come on now.
01:13:00Who's at the damn door?
01:13:03Who are you?
01:13:04Cousin.
01:13:06You're late.
01:13:07Hello, Sam.
01:13:13Kate, Kate, Kate.
01:13:15Kate.
01:13:21I'm so sorry, Kate.
01:13:22I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
01:13:24Yeah.
01:13:25Sorry.
01:13:25So you want me dead?
01:13:28This man cheated on you.
01:13:30Yes, but it all ends now.
01:13:33Put gun down.
01:13:34We have stones.
01:13:37I don't have time for that.
01:13:39Let's see how much sympathy you get
01:13:40from two dead mistresses.
01:13:47Freeze!
01:13:48Everyone on your knees!
01:13:50Hands behind your head!
01:13:51You on your knees now.
01:13:53I'm Neil Furnell, man.
01:13:54I have diplomatic immunity.
01:13:56You better be immune to layer poison.
01:13:58Down on your knees!
01:13:59Cousin.
01:14:01And family has been insulted.
01:14:03What the fuck?
01:14:04Stop that.
01:14:05Nah!
01:14:05I said, fucking stop that!
01:14:08Officer, be in the tech.
01:14:09We need backup.
01:14:10Send backup.
01:14:11I said, fucking stop that!
01:14:13I said, freeze!
01:14:17So I looked at her and I just said,
01:14:19fuck you.
01:14:22What else can you say?
01:14:23What else can you say?
01:14:25It's over.
01:14:25It's over.
01:14:26It's over.
01:14:26I had a thing in the past about trusting women.
01:14:38I had a thing in the past about trusting women.
01:14:52It's still my heart fast when I ain't looking.
01:14:55Guess I'm too naive and that's why I'm tooken.
01:14:57All the time on the ride, left and sent you booking.
01:15:00Gave her my all, she was disloyal.
01:15:02Check the expiration date, we let the milk spoil you.
01:15:05Set out too long, love and the thrill's gone.
01:15:08Try to steal my joy, but I'm still strong.
01:15:10I'm still showing it feels wrong.
01:15:13Holding on to a love that has been scorned.
01:15:15Even though she looked like someone...
01:15:16Help! Help!
01:15:18Disabled any distress!
01:15:19What?
01:15:21Thank you, ladies.
01:15:23You saved my life.
01:15:24You okay?
01:15:25I'm okay, yeah.
01:15:27I'm okay now.
01:15:29Thanks.
01:15:30I put my leg down like that.
01:15:32Are you sure?
01:15:33I'm all right, yeah.
01:15:35What's your name?
01:15:35Hi.
01:15:37I'm Michael.
01:15:40We used to chill in the crib and just watch flips.
01:15:43Uh-huh.
01:15:46Can't be like, then it's just us, we just want to kiss.
01:15:49Talk for hours, rockin' Mary J reminisce.
01:15:51That's when we had a bar on that rule with an iron fist.
01:15:54Fellas were jealous for sure, you had the ladies pissed.
01:15:56Look at her.
01:15:56They said it's too good to be true, good men don't exist.
01:15:59Never insecure, you ignore all them chicks.
01:16:02See it, you want it, you got it, it was nothing less.
01:16:04Without your hand, you got the Black American Express.
01:16:07The good life, she had it all, nothing but the best.
01:16:09She sat me down and said she had to confess.
01:16:12Man, what is it, my man?
01:16:13I never trust somebody else.
01:16:16I don't think nobody else.
01:16:20N-n-n-nobody like you.
01:16:22I never trust somebody else.
01:16:26I don't think nobody else.
01:16:30N-n-nobody like you.
01:16:32She was the one that I trusted.
01:16:35Who would ever think that she would spread like mustard?
01:16:37See me with my new chick, now you disgusted.
01:16:40Now fix your face, you was the one that got busted.
01:16:43Left me for somebody that you know who's wrong.
01:16:44Hey, yo, girl, you like caviar?
01:16:46You like Sizzler?
01:16:49Sizzler?
01:16:50I'm gonna buy you Denny.
01:16:52Rolling fatties.
01:16:53Okay, plus.
01:16:54Man, she wanted to suck my dick backwards.
01:16:56Like, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo.
01:16:57Yeah, like, bent it over now.
01:16:59Three times.
01:17:00Like Juicy J?
01:17:01Like anal.
01:17:02Fuck, man.
01:17:02I was gonna take her to the $1 discount store and buy her some trinkets.
01:17:08And then, I'm gonna insert my penis inside of her.
01:17:12Softly.
01:17:13With the $1 condom.
01:17:14Essentially.
01:17:16All right, Christmas.
01:17:17Arjo makes me want to take my pants off.
01:17:19Do you guys feel the same way?
01:17:20Uh, no.
01:17:21Yeah, you do.
01:17:22I can see it in your eyes.
01:17:23I can definitely see it in your eyes.
01:17:24Fuck you.
01:17:24Fuck you.
01:17:26That's hot?
01:17:27Not unless he's a RuPaul drag race.
01:17:30It's Rebecca.
01:17:30I'm Rebecca, idiot.
01:17:33Hey, babe, if that's Elvis, you seeing ghosts, run.
01:17:36Or it's those shrooms I gave you.
01:17:37Hey, babe, while you up, give me a sun kiss and shake it up.
01:17:39You know I like it fizzy, girl.
01:17:41Hey, babe, you know what?
01:17:42Since you up, you got a minute.
01:17:43Why don't you go to McDonald's?
01:17:45Babe, get the door, it's Domino's.
01:17:47Hey, babe.
01:17:48Babe.
01:17:48While you up, go ahead and put on that Big Bird suit.
01:17:50You know I love that Sesame Street role play.
01:17:53I don't know, there's something about Sesame Street.
01:17:56Yeah, come back dressed as Kermit the Frog.
01:17:58Nah, I can't say that.
01:18:00Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:18:06Yeah, I knew it didn't.
01:18:07I never trust somebody else.
01:18:10I don't need nobody else.
01:18:13Uh-uh.
01:18:14Huh, nobody else.
01:18:16I never trust somebody else.
01:18:20Uh-huh.
01:18:21I don't need nobody else.
01:18:23Talk to him, man.
01:18:24I had a thing in the past about trusting women
01:18:28They steal my heart fast when I ain't looking
01:18:31Guess I'm too naive and that's why I'm tooken
01:18:34All the time on the ride left and sent you booking
01:18:36Gave her my all, she was disloyal
01:18:39Check the expiration date, we let the milk spoil you
01:18:41Set out too long, love and the thrill's gone
01:18:44Try to steal my joy but I'm still strong
01:18:47I'm still Sean, it feels wrong
01:18:49Holding on to a love that has been scorned
01:18:52Even though she look like Selma Hayek in dusk till dawn
01:18:54Congratulate yourself, you inspired this song
01:18:57You know that, right?
01:18:58I never trust somebody else
01:19:01I ain't nobody else
01:19:05Nobody like you
01:19:07I never trust somebody else
01:19:12I ain't nobody else
01:19:15Nobody like you
01:19:17We used to chill in the crib and just watch flicks
01:19:20Them later hit the mall shop for some kicks
01:19:23Can't do like then, it's just us, we just wanna kiss
01:19:25Talk for hours, rockin' Mary J reminisce
01:19:28That's when we had a bar on that rule with an iron fist
01:19:30Fellas were jealous for sure, you had the ladies pissed
01:19:33They said it's too good to be true, good men don't exist
01:19:36Never insecure, you ignore all them chicks
01:19:38See it, you want it, you got it, it was nothing less
01:19:41There you go, man
01:19:41Without your hand, you got the Black American Express
01:19:43The good life, she had it all, nothing but the best
01:19:46Till she sat me down and said she had to confess
01:19:48I never trust somebody else
01:19:53I don't trust somebody else
01:19:54I ain't nobody else
01:19:56Nobody like you
01:19:59Word
01:20:00S1
01:20:01Hazardous
01:20:03Haz
01:20:04Huh
01:20:05New edition
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