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00:00Many people say that balance can be maintained in life where we can have emotional bonding with family and equally we can focus on our work.
00:09What we have seen is a fellow goes to office and he is one personality there and then he returns to his house and he is another personality there and he says this is where I spend the money that I have earned at office.
00:23You remain kind of unfulfilled and distressed in both the environments because you are never 100% anywhere.
00:31We have been taught to be balanced personalities all our life but there is something within us that does not want a balance.
00:38It wants to go all the way. It loves extremes.
00:40Now think of the person whose work itself has become his relaxation and why can't you aspire for such a state?
00:47Why can't everything be in service of something so great that there is no question of compromise?
00:54As a young person, why must you not find something to be absolutely devoted to?
01:00And if you won't find anything to be absolutely devoted to, then you will live a scattered life.
01:09Good evening sir.
01:11I'm Amit Kumadirapati from BTEC 3rd year civil and IT Vapal.
01:15And I'm glad to welcome you here in IT Vapal.
01:21My question was on a balance in life.
01:24As many people say that balance can be maintained in life where we can have emotional bonding with family and equally we can focus on our work.
01:35But many people say it's a myth but I tried both of ways but it failed for me because I am as a human being, I am an emotional being.
01:48So I need emotions and with I need to work for my goals also.
01:54So what should be my approach for solving this?
02:02Do we get the question, all of us?
02:05This question is how do I balance my emotions with my work?
02:13How do I balance my emotions with my work?
02:21Okay, let's start with the basics.
02:26When does the matter of balance arise in the first place?
02:31When does the issue of balance arise in the first place?
02:42Only when you have two contradictory things in your life, in your mental space or anywhere, trying to outdo each other, competing for the same spot.
02:59And that's when you have to think about some kind of adjustment.
03:10How much to give to this versus how much to give to that because this and that seem mutually incompatible.
03:19Right?
03:20This is demanding something from me and that is demanding something from me.
03:25And obviously, I cannot fulfill both their demands simultaneously.
03:33So I want to strike a balance.
03:36I say, let me distribute myself or my time or my resources, whatever, in some proportion.
03:4350-50, 60-30, 60-40, 70-30, whatever.
03:46So before we set out to achieve balance, it is important to see clearly that balance is needed only when you have contradictions in your life.
04:04Only when you have things, people, priorities, values that do not align with each other.
04:13For example, people talk of work-life balance.
04:20And the question from our friend is much in the same direction.
04:26When people talk of work-life balance, what they mean by life is their personal life, which corresponds to the emotional part of your being.
04:34Right?
04:34And when they talk of work, they talk of livelihood, earning money, professional success, etc.
04:41And he is referring to much the same thing.
04:45How to achieve a balance?
04:46And I am wondering, why must, first of all, there be the need to achieve any balance?
04:56Because the very urge to have a balance reveals the presence of contradictions.
05:07It reveals the presence of contradictions.
05:09Otherwise, there is no need to have a balance.
05:11And when there is a balance, obviously, it means you are not allotting your 100% to either side.
05:21It is some kind of compromised distribution of whatever you have.
05:26That's a balance, right?
05:28That's a balance.
05:31And we have been taught to be balanced personalities all our life.
05:35But there is something within us that does not want a balance.
05:41It wants to go all the way.
05:44It loves extremes.
05:49It loves totality, absoluteness, wholeness, completeness.
05:59Nothing short of 100%.
06:01Is that not so?
06:07Would you enjoy it if I tell the balanced truth to you?
06:15Please tell me.
06:17What do you want?
06:17100% of it?
06:18Or a balance between truth and falsehood?
06:21What do you want?
06:31Total freedom?
06:32Or freedom only for 6 or 8 or 12 hours a day?
06:42How do you want to be loved?
06:43And how do you want to love?
06:45Totally or partially?
06:47You understand what this thing balance implies?
06:53You can never be total in your life.
06:57You can never be total in your life.
06:59But the moment I say that,
07:02a question arises.
07:05A question that resists totality.
07:07The question says,
07:08there are two opposites.
07:12And they both appear important.
07:15And they both compete with each other.
07:18And if I allot 100% of myself to just one of them,
07:22what about the other?
07:24We have to take everything along.
07:26Right?
07:28Right?
07:28We cannot survive or thrive on just one thing.
07:32So, if this is important,
07:33that too is important.
07:35And you are talking of allotting
07:37the totality of yourself to one thing.
07:41How is that possible?
07:44Again, question the assumption here.
07:47The assumption is,
07:48this has to be incompatible with that.
07:54Why does that have to be?
07:55Right?
07:58Why can't your personal life
08:01be aligned with your professional life?
08:04Why must they be necessarily separated
08:06and in opposition to each other?
08:09Why must one always come at the cost of the other?
08:16We do not experience that
08:20too often in our day-to-day life,
08:23in our surroundings.
08:23So, what I am saying may appear
08:26a little utopian,
08:30a little impractical,
08:31but please stay.
08:38What we have seen is,
08:40a fellow goes to office
08:43and he is one personality there.
08:48He says,
08:48I am earning money there.
08:49And then he returns
08:51to his house
08:53and he is another personality there
08:55and he says,
08:56this is where I spend the money
08:58that I have earned at office.
09:01So, these two have to go together
09:03because to spend,
09:05you first need to earn.
09:06You cannot give up on either of them.
09:08At the same time,
09:10you remain kind of unfulfilled
09:14and distressed in both the environments
09:16because you are never 100% anywhere.
09:21Why is it so that
09:28one part of life
09:29has to be totally separated
09:31from the other part?
09:32Think of what our friend is saying.
09:35Why do your emotions
09:36have to be
09:37in opposition to your work?
09:43Why can't your emotions
09:44be aligned to your work?
09:47And tell me,
09:51would you be able to give
09:52100% to your work
09:54if your emotions
09:56are running haywire,
09:58hither dither?
10:00You are at your workplace.
10:03You are engaged
10:04with some project,
10:06but your emotions
10:06are talking of some other thing.
10:09Now,
10:10you cannot engage
10:11with your emotions
10:11and your emotions
10:12will not allow you
10:13to engage with your work.
10:17Are you getting it?
10:20Is that a nice state
10:21to be in?
10:23And then we say,
10:24let me distribute
10:25my time wisely.
10:28I want you to explore
10:30why must there be
10:32any kind of distribution?
10:36Distribution is needed
10:37only among those
10:40that are disparate,
10:42which means
10:42those who cannot
10:44come together
10:45or go together.
10:48And if two things
10:50cannot go together
10:51in your life,
10:53are either of them
10:55really aligned
10:56with who you really are?
10:58why must my personal life
11:11be separated
11:12from my professional life?
11:14Why?
11:17I'll give you
11:18a couple of
11:19examples.
11:21The first is from
11:23India's freedom
11:25struggle itself.
11:26We have had
11:32revolutionary couples.
11:38Revolutionary couples.
11:42As a young man,
11:43when you talk of
11:43emotions,
11:45a large part of that
11:46relates to the
11:48opposite gender
11:48and the fact that
11:50you would be soon
11:51starting a family
11:52and such things.
11:53So, you'll figure it
11:57out on your own.
11:59I'm referring to
12:00the revolutionaries
12:01of Bengal
12:02and you have
12:04had situations
12:05where the
12:07work
12:09and the choice
12:11of the person
12:12you are emotionally
12:13connected to
12:14are in perfect
12:15alignment.
12:15Now, your partner
12:22isn't going to
12:22complain.
12:23Give me more time.
12:26Your partner
12:27is not going to say
12:28you know,
12:29you don't have
12:30work-life balance.
12:31You are giving so much
12:32to your work
12:33and nothing to me.
12:35Whatever
12:36you give to
12:38your work,
12:38you are also
12:39giving
12:40to your emotional
12:42life, to your
12:43family life
12:44because
12:45your partner
12:48is a part
12:49of your work.
12:51Don't dismiss
12:52it as too
12:53utopian
12:54too early
12:55because if you
12:56dismiss this
12:57then you are
12:58dismissing a very
12:59strong possibility
13:01in your life.
13:03If you are
13:04dismissing this
13:05then you are
13:06dismissing the
13:07possibility
13:07of wholeness
13:09in life.
13:15Just the last
13:16century
13:16obviously
13:18you would have
13:19heard of
13:21Sartre
13:22being in
13:27nothingness
13:27existence
13:28precedes
13:29essence
13:32right
13:33and Sartre
13:34is a great
13:35philosopher
13:35and he
13:37has a
13:37relationship
13:38with another
13:39philosopher
13:40feminist
13:41philosopher
13:41hmm
13:43what's her
13:44name
13:45Simone Bivu
13:48and they meet
13:52and they discuss
13:53work
13:54now Sartre
13:56doesn't have to
13:57stop work
13:58to meet her
13:59they meet
14:00and they discuss
14:01work
14:01and it is
14:02out of these
14:03meetings
14:03that both
14:05of them
14:06could actually
14:07come up
14:08with their
14:08greatest work
14:10books
14:10and philosophy
14:12the work
14:17is the date
14:18the official
14:18meeting
14:19is the date
14:19this fellow
14:25won't have to
14:26ask for a
14:27balance
14:27because he
14:29has been
14:29honest enough
14:30authentic
14:31enough
14:31and daring
14:32enough
14:32to make
14:34work
14:35itself
14:36life
14:37now work
14:39and life
14:40are totally
14:41overlapping
14:41so you don't
14:43have to
14:43balance
14:44one
14:44against
14:45the other
14:45they are
14:47one
14:47already
14:47there is
14:48no question
14:48of any
14:49balance
14:49the question
14:53of balance
14:53arises only
14:54when we
14:55first of all
14:56compromise
14:56and most
14:57of us
14:58agree to
14:59live
15:00compromised
15:00lives
15:01because we
15:01have not
15:02been shown
15:03too many
15:03examples
15:04to the
15:04contrary
15:04all around
15:06ourselves
15:07we see
15:07only
15:08compromised
15:08figures
15:09so we
15:09feel
15:09you know
15:10probably
15:10that's
15:10the only
15:11possible
15:11way of
15:11life
15:12no
15:12that's
15:13not
15:13the only
15:13possible
15:13way
15:14all my
15:20life
15:20I have
15:20never
15:21had
15:22an
15:25office
15:26and
15:29equally
15:29I could
15:30say
15:30that
15:31all my
15:31life
15:31I have
15:32never
15:32had
15:32a
15:32personal
15:33room
15:33because
15:36my room
15:37has been
15:37the office
15:37and my
15:38office
15:38has been
15:38my
15:38room
15:39why
15:41do I
15:41need
15:41to
15:41now
15:41strike
15:42a
15:42balance
15:42I
15:44sleep
15:44in
15:44my
15:44office
15:45and
15:49there
15:49was
15:49a
15:49time
15:49when
15:50my
15:50office
15:50was
15:50like
15:51what
15:51an
15:548x10
15:55kind
15:55of
15:55cabin
15:56and
15:58a
15:59huge
15:59desk
15:59that
16:00occupied
16:01most
16:01part
16:02of
16:02the
16:02room
16:02and
16:04just
16:04by
16:05my
16:05desk
16:06at
16:08night
16:08I
16:11would
16:12unfold
16:12a
16:13thin
16:13mattress
16:14and
16:15lie
16:15down
16:15and
16:15sleep
16:15where
16:18is the
16:18question
16:18of
16:19balancing
16:20work
16:21and
16:21life
16:21where
16:22is the
16:22question
16:23of
16:23balancing
16:24activity
16:25and
16:26leisure
16:26but
16:31that's
16:31another
16:31way
16:31we
16:32often
16:32talk
16:32of
16:32balance
16:33we
16:33say
16:33oh
16:33you
16:34have
16:34worked
16:34too
16:34much
16:34now
16:35you
16:35need
16:35to
16:35balance
16:36it
16:36by
16:36relaxing
16:37a
16:37little
16:37now
16:38think
16:39of
16:39the
16:39person
16:39who
16:40relaxes
16:41in
16:41the
16:41middle
16:42of
16:42his
16:42work
16:43think
16:44of
16:44the
16:44person
16:45whose
16:45work
16:46itself
16:46has
16:47become
16:47his
16:47relaxation
16:48and
16:49why
16:49can't
16:50you
16:50aspire
16:50for
16:51such
16:51a
16:51state
16:52I
16:54don't
16:54have
16:54to
16:54run
16:55away
16:55from
16:55work
16:56to
16:56relax
16:56I
16:56don't
16:56have
16:57to
16:57say
16:57oh
16:57you
16:57know
16:57work
16:59hours
16:59and
17:00relaxation
17:00hours
17:01there
17:01must
17:01be
17:02a
17:0270-30
17:02ratio
17:03no
17:0370-30
17:04ratio
17:04I
17:04work
17:05all
17:05the
17:05time
17:05equally
17:06I
17:06relax
17:06all
17:06the
17:07time
17:07it's
17:07always
17:08100%
17:08either
17:08way
17:09I
17:11work
17:11all
17:12the
17:12time
17:12I
17:12relax
17:12all
17:13the
17:13time
17:13in
17:16fact
17:16my
17:16nicest
17:17most
17:18peaceful
17:19and
17:19deepest
17:19moments
17:20of
17:20relaxation
17:21are
17:22moments
17:23like
17:23these
17:24moments
17:25incidentally
17:26these are
17:27also the
17:27moments
17:28when I'm
17:29perceived
17:30as being in the
17:32middle of intense
17:33work
17:33from where you are
17:35looking
17:35probably
17:36I'm working
17:38intensely
17:39right
17:39this is work
17:41there are these
17:42cameras that are
17:43recording and
17:44there is an audience
17:45and you are listening
17:46and some of you are even
17:47taking notes
17:47and it is these recordings
17:49then that get edited
17:52and come out as books
17:54so this is core
17:56hardcore work
17:57it appears so
17:59right
17:59for me
18:01these are the
18:02moments of my
18:03deepest relaxation
18:04I don't need to
18:06balance
18:06yes my legs
18:09sometimes might get
18:10tired
18:10yesterday there was
18:11a 3.5 hour session
18:13and I was standing
18:13as I am standing
18:14here because
18:15enjoy it more
18:16when my legs
18:17have freedom
18:18the legs
18:23might get tired
18:24I was not tired
18:25in fact
18:27if I am tired
18:28I want to
18:29get into work
18:30if I am tired
18:34I want to relax
18:35then I want to work
18:36because it is work
18:37that will
18:38offer me relaxation
18:39why can't
18:41you have a life
18:42like that
18:42why do
18:45your emotions
18:46have
18:47to be
18:48in opposition
18:49to your logic
18:50why can't
18:52everything
18:53be in service
18:54of something
18:55so great
18:56that there is
18:56no question
18:57of compromise
18:58as a young
19:03person
19:03why must
19:05you not
19:05find something
19:06to be
19:07absolutely
19:08devoted to
19:09you understand
19:09the word
19:10absolute
19:10not relative
19:11absolute
19:12absolute
19:15and if you
19:18won't find
19:18anything to be
19:19absolutely
19:20devoted to
19:21then you live
19:22a scattered
19:22life
19:23fragmented
19:25life
19:25bits and pieces
19:26here
19:27and bits and
19:28pieces there
19:28some part there
19:30some part here
19:31and you are
19:33wandering
19:33randomly
19:35among all these
19:36parts
19:37giving some
19:38part of yourself
19:39to this
19:40something to that
19:40something to that
19:41and then
19:42consoling yourself
19:43that you are
19:43living a well
19:44balanced life
19:45not
19:48not
19:49still
19:51anything to that
19:51you
19:52know
19:53that you are
19:54being
19:55good
19:55you
19:55you
19:56you
19:56you
19:57you
19:59you
19:59you
20:02you
20:02you
20:03you
20:07you
20:07you
20:08you
20:11you
20:11you
20:11you
20:13you
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