Why Expectations Will Always Break Your Heart || Acharya Prashant, with IRMA (2023)

Acharya Prashant

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00:00so my question for you is how to live a live a life without expectations so basically i want to

00:14know like how to lead in future uh don't have to have that expectations problem basically

00:23so you had expectations but those expectations were not met did that happen

00:29yes during covid second wave some things happened and uh basically my dream company which i attempt

00:39for i was able to crack all its initial rounds but during uh interview round i have suffered

00:46covid so i was unable to do that then i had to make a complete switch and begin

00:52see there is a thing called desire and there is a thing called purpose

01:01yes you want to do something in life because you want to change right you want to become better you

01:15want to feel better is that not so yes so there are two ways to to change yourself

01:28the easy and the common and the obvious way is the way of desire

01:33correct i want to become bigger or better or more prosperous or i want to be called successful

01:42so i desire all those things

01:46the little problem with desire

01:51is that it does not know what is it that needs to be changed

01:59i do not feel well with myself so i guess

02:08that maybe by having a lot of money or that big car

02:16or a lot of prestige

02:20or some great person in my life a man or a woman

02:26i'll feel better

02:29please stay with the process

02:31we want to come to the point of expectations

02:37we want to understand what are expectations

02:39where do they come from

02:41so we are born feeling a little bit uneasy about ourselves right

02:52yes

02:54we are misfits in the world

02:57that's how we are born

02:58and nobody is responsible for that

03:02that's the very nature

03:05of birth

03:08that's the ubiquitous human condition itself

03:12we are not alright

03:15and we also do not know why we are not alright

03:20we just sense there is a vague feeling

03:23there is a hazy experience of something being wrong all the time

03:30right

03:31even our in our dreams

03:33things are never perfect

03:36something is wrong all the time

03:39there is that small

03:40little buzz at the back of the head

03:43are we together on this

03:47yes

03:48so all that is experienced but not understood

03:52we do not know what really is wrong with life

03:56so we resort to as we said guesswork

04:00we start making guesses

04:03if I become an entrepreneur

04:05if I have

04:06if I have

04:07n rounds of funding

04:10if I can

04:11come up with an IPO

04:13in the fourth year

04:14if I can then go and

04:18buy a mansion

04:20in the UK

04:22I will probably be alright then

04:25correct

04:27that's desire

04:28desire wants to

04:31correct

04:34the internal situation

04:38but without knowing what the internal situation really is

04:42that's desire

04:46so desire is not

04:48ill intentioned

04:50nobody

04:51desires

04:53bad things to happen to himself

04:56it says that desire is not aware

05:02desire has the right intention

05:06but very little awareness

05:08are you getting it

05:13and another name for desire is expectation

05:17you would have sensed

05:18so that's where expectations come from

05:22we expect great things to happen

05:24without knowing why we want great things to happen

05:28and what the definition of greatness really is

05:31there is nobody without expectations

05:35everybody is desiring expecting wanting all the time

05:39and we want

05:42because

05:42because there is a certain

05:44restlessness

05:46we know something is wrong

05:49we do not exactly know what is wrong

05:52so that's

05:56that's expectation

05:57and then there is purpose

06:00purpose

06:05purpose comes

06:06from seeing

06:07what is wrong

06:08I know

06:13what is it that ails me

06:15and the purpose of

06:19my life

06:20is to take care of the ailment

06:24that's purpose

06:25so desire or expectation

06:28is very different from purpose

06:30desire just

06:34has a vague

06:36hazy

06:38sensation

06:40oh I am not alright

06:42that's what desire says

06:43and it has no clarity beyond that

06:46I am not alright

06:48can you please explain

06:51what is not alright

06:52and desire

06:53will fall silent

06:55or will start

06:57uttering something

06:59either nonsensical

07:01or roundabout

07:03purpose

07:10first of all

07:11figures out

07:12what exactly is wrong

07:16what exactly is wrong

07:20who am I

07:20what do I suffer from

07:22and therefore

07:25what is it that I need

07:26to now do

07:27that's purpose

07:30a young man

07:32ought to have purpose

07:34in life

07:34expectations are

07:36small things

07:37and the thing with purpose

07:42is it can never be defeated

07:44because purpose

07:46is arising out of your inner condition

07:50if inner condition

07:51has yet not been rectified

07:54corrected

07:56healed

07:57how can you say

08:00the purpose

08:01is met

08:03or that the purpose

08:05is defeated

08:05if you are alive

08:07the purpose

08:08has to be alive

08:09because purpose

08:13is connected

08:13to something

08:14inner

08:15whereas expectations

08:18are all related

08:20to something

08:20outer

08:21I expect

08:25to

08:25own

08:28a house

08:30by next year

08:30I expect

08:35to migrate

08:35to the US

08:36within two years

08:38I expect

08:39success

08:40in that kind of

08:42end of year

08:42within six months

08:44I expect

08:46to raise funding

08:47all of these

08:49are things

08:50related

08:51to the external

08:52world

08:53you wanted

08:56to raise money

08:57you couldn't raise money

08:58that was somebody

09:00else's money

09:00he decided

09:03to not give it

09:04to you

09:04so expectations

09:10can be defeated

09:12desires

09:15can remain

09:16unmet

09:17in fact

09:19there is a great

09:20probability

09:20desires will remain

09:22unmet

09:22because the external

09:23world does not

09:24follow your

09:25commands

09:26or wishes

09:27you want

09:29something

09:29the world

09:30is not obliged

09:31to provide

09:31you that

09:31thing

09:32that's the

09:35thing with

09:35desire

09:35it frequently

09:36remains

09:36unmet

09:37and it

09:38can

09:38even be

09:39permanently

09:40defeated

09:41another

09:45scenario

09:46a very

09:47scary

09:49scenario

09:49is possible

09:50you get

09:54what you

09:54desire

09:54and then

09:55you discover

09:56that the

09:57thing that

09:58you obtained

09:58is not

10:00giving you

10:01what you

10:01wanted

10:01from it

10:02you were

10:07restless

10:08before your

10:09desire was

10:10met

10:10and you

10:11find yourself

10:12restless

10:12even after

10:13you get

10:14the object

10:15of your

10:15desire

10:16so that

10:19way

10:20desire

10:22does not

10:23help much

10:24whether it

10:25is met

10:26or remains

10:27unmet

10:27a purpose

10:30is a

10:32different thing

10:33altogether

10:34it is an

10:37unending

10:38project

10:39it can

10:44never give

10:46you

10:46failure

10:49and it

10:53will keep

10:53you moving

10:54all your

10:54life

10:55because it

10:55can never

10:56give you

10:56complete

10:57success

10:57either

10:58so you

11:01will find

11:04yourself

11:04internally

11:05compelled to

11:06keep moving

11:07all your

11:07life

11:07is that not

11:09a blessing

11:09so have a

11:14purpose

11:14do not have

11:15expectations

11:16it's not

11:19very mature

11:21to nourish

11:21expectations

11:22within

11:23instead be

11:27committed

11:28to a

11:29huge

11:30goal

11:31that arises

11:32from inner

11:33realization

11:34just having

11:40a huge

11:40goal

11:41is not

11:42sufficient

11:43that goal

11:46must arise

11:48from your

11:48clarity

11:49you must

11:49know why

11:50you must

11:51reach there

11:52or why

11:53that kind

11:54of change

11:55needs to be

11:56brought about

11:56and that

12:01why can

12:02become

12:03clear

12:04only when

12:05you know

12:06who you

12:07are

12:07being in

12:13touch with

12:13your

12:13insides

12:14is very

12:15very

12:15important

12:15you must

12:21have a

12:21way

12:22to know

12:24who you

12:24really are

12:25the

12:28content of

12:29your mind

12:30and the

12:30center of

12:31your mind

12:31you must

12:32have a

12:33way to

12:34know

12:35these

12:35otherwise

12:38one can

12:39keep

12:40running

12:42about

12:42endlessly

12:43and life

12:47is short

12:47you will

12:47find you

12:48are at

12:49the end

12:50of it

12:50all

12:51and you

12:54won't even

12:54realize

12:55where you

12:56lost that

12:57little thing

12:58called

12:58life

13:0060-80

13:02years is

13:02just nothing

13:03blink of

13:06an eye

13:06have I

13:14been able

13:15to make

13:15myself

13:16clear

13:16yes

13:17sir

13:18regarding

13:23this

13:23I also

13:23follow up

13:24question

13:24you talked

13:26about

13:26purpose

13:27so

13:27how to

13:29move in

13:31a direction

13:31of finding

13:32our purpose

13:33like

13:34it's a

13:35very broad

13:36thing

13:36like finding

13:38your purpose

13:38many people

13:39end up

13:41their life

13:41still they

13:42didn't find

13:43their purpose

13:44exactly

13:46many people

13:46might have

13:47many purpose

13:48in life

13:48like one

13:49two three

13:50numbers

13:51so how

13:53to get

13:53our direction

13:54like we

13:55are moving

13:55towards a

13:56purpose

13:56how to

13:57make a

13:57sense

13:58of it

13:58your direction

13:59is within

14:04the inner

14:06direction

14:07is the

14:09one that

14:09will

14:10reveal you

14:12your purpose

14:13what is it

14:16that affects

14:17you

14:18what is it

14:19that you

14:19love

14:20what is

14:25your

14:25distinct

14:26individual

14:26need

14:27you're not

14:32obliged

14:33to

14:34do what

14:35the

14:36other one

14:37is doing

14:37right

14:37if a

14:39thousand

14:39people are

14:40running

14:40after

14:40something

14:41that's

14:44no guarantee

14:44that the

14:45thing is

14:46for you

14:46as well

14:47so

14:51the purpose

14:53becomes

14:54clear

14:54when you

14:57give

14:57yourself

14:58the

14:59silence

15:00and the

15:01courage

15:01to ask

15:04come on

15:05this is

15:05my name

15:06who am

15:07I

15:07where have

15:09I come

15:09from and

15:10what do

15:10I want

15:10what are

15:12my hurts

15:13what grievances

15:14am I

15:15nursing

15:15and what

15:17really are

15:17my aspirations

15:18where do

15:19my hurts

15:20come from

15:21and where

15:21do my

15:22aspirations

15:22come from

15:23what is

15:27worthy

15:27enough to

15:28dedicate

15:29my life

15:29to

15:30and that's

15:33another difference

15:34between desire

15:34and purpose

15:35you see

15:35your desire

15:40can never be

15:41bigger than

15:41you

15:41that which

15:43you desire

15:43you want

15:44to consume

15:44that which

15:47you consume

15:48can never

15:48be

15:49your lord

15:51that which

15:52you consume

15:53is always

15:54for you

15:54it's a

15:58small thing

15:58that you

15:59can ingest

16:00whereas

16:03your purpose

16:03has to be

16:04bigger than

16:05yourself

16:05your purpose

16:07is something

16:07great enough

16:10and beautiful

16:11enough

16:11to command

16:15your

16:16commitment

16:17and dedication

16:18with desire

16:25the word

16:28that comes

16:29is consumption

16:30and with purpose

16:34what rhymes

16:35is devotion

16:36and life

16:39is great

16:40when life

16:40is devoted

16:41and there

16:43can be no

16:43devotion

16:44without

16:44understanding

16:45right

16:45you have to

16:46understand

16:47you have to

16:47go into

16:47yourself

16:48we are

16:51all

16:52very

16:55sensitive

16:55people

16:56within

16:56there are

17:01vulnerabilities

17:01there are

17:04there are

17:05those

17:06those

17:09heartstrings

17:10and if

17:13you can

17:13just

17:14very

17:15gently

17:16tug at

17:17them

17:18you will

17:18hear

17:18an

17:19inner

17:19music

17:20reply

17:21to

17:21that

17:22not

17:24to

17:24that

17:25acknowledge

17:25that

17:26just

17:31taking

17:32up

17:33the

17:34current

17:35trend

17:36the

17:38in

17:38thing

17:38that's

17:41more

17:43often than

17:44not

17:44just

17:44recipe

17:47towards

17:48failure

17:48and when

17:50I mean

17:50failure

17:51I do

17:51not

17:51mean

17:52lack

17:54of

17:55fulfillment

17:58of

17:58desire

17:59failure

18:04means

18:05not

18:06even

18:06knowing

18:07what the

18:08right

18:08purpose

18:08of life

18:09is

18:09there is

18:10no failure

18:11bigger

18:11than

18:11that

18:11one

18:15lived his

18:16entire

18:17life

18:17without

18:18ever

18:18knowing

18:19what

18:20life

18:20is

18:21that's

18:22what

18:22failure

18:22is

18:23thank you

18:31sir

18:31welcome

18:32thank you

18:33to

18:34thank you

18:35Oh

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