This episode delves into the intricate family secrets of the Unlocked series. The series 'Unlocked - Family Secrets' explores hidden truths and revelations.
unlocked family-secrets secrets tv-show drama unlocked-family-secrets full-episode streaming
#FullEpisode #Streaming #TVSeries #FamilySecrets
unlocked family-secrets secrets tv-show drama unlocked-family-secrets full-episode streaming
#FullEpisode #Streaming #TVSeries #FamilySecrets
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00People often thought I had the perfect life, four beautiful children, a Hollywood actor
00:12for a husband, and a thriving career as a psychotherapist. But I was hiding a secret,
00:18something that happened to me when I was 16, a secret I hid from the world for more than 20
00:25years. To me, they are black excellence at its finest, the perfect family. In our family,
00:32you didn't talk about the secret. I can't imagine having to live that life. Zoe was gone. What's
00:40going on? That was a secret you took to your grave. I had done something so devastating
00:46that I needed to be put away.
00:55This is a common work or an interview. All right, so where does this story begin?
01:07I actually start my story at a transition part for me.
01:15When my daughter Sullivan was born, she was just the most gorgeous little girl I've ever seen.
01:22But I already knew the second she was born that something was wrong.
01:30First, it was just, can we keep this baby alive? Okay, now that we got this baby alive,
01:35what the heck is going on? And then the weeks of spending in the NICU, and yet no answers at all.
01:42It was a big unknown. And then when she found out what was going on, she was heartbroken.
01:48Ultimately, Sully was diagnosed with a rare and incurable genetic disorder called Prader-Willi
01:56syndrome. I was told her development would be severely impacted. She would need 24-7 in-home
02:02care, and she might not live past the age of 30. Part of me felt that God was punishing me,
02:10but the worst part was feeling like Sully was punished as a result of what I had done as a 16-year-old girl.
02:18Okay, who's going to be what?
02:26Yellow.
02:27Hi, it's yellow. Sage is blue. I'm red.
02:29I'm Dr. Zoe. I have five children. My day-to-day life is busy.
02:36One, two.
02:38Right now, I have two kids at home. My 11-year-old daughter, Siggy, and my 18-year-old daughter,
02:44Sully. You're green, Sully. We have soccer on weekends, and I'm a scout leader. The word is
02:51dreamland. Dreamland. I'm a psychotherapist, author, speaker, podcaster.
02:59Today, we're going to be talking about what do you do when life hits you out of the blue
03:06was something devastating. To come from where I was, keeping the secret for so long and being so
03:14ashamed, it's been hard work.
03:17To understand my secrets, you have to understand how I was raised in a prominent Black family,
03:32the only Black family, in rural Smithsburg, Maryland.
03:36So, we're all about 18 months apart. Edward is the oldest. Zoe's the middle. And then I'm the baby.
03:46My mom was the most beautiful woman. She was a stay-at-home mom. She dedicated her life to us.
03:54My dad, Robert W. Hunt, he was the third generation of doctors in his family.
03:58My dad loved my mom so much. They met when my mom was 16. They got married when my mom was 18.
04:07I think by the time my mom was 21, she'd had all three of us.
04:16It was very strict growing up. We were only allowed to listen to Christian music in the home.
04:21We started going to a small church called Emanuel Chapel. There, my parents transitioned into more
04:31fundamental Christianity. And so, Christianity and morality and right and wrong became not just
04:39something that, you know, you did on Sunday for two hours. It was pretty much 24-7.
04:43In my family, being a good Christian was the foundation. But equally important was achievement
04:51because we come from a long lineage of Black excellence.
04:56My great-grandfather, Gurney Holloway, he went to Harvard. He was an MD. And then Josephine,
05:06his wife. She was such a pioneer.
05:08At the time, they didn't allow Black Girl Scout troops, so she started her own.
05:12Now they have a street named after her in Nashville, Tennessee.
05:17On my mom's side, the grandfather I'm named after was head of the biochemistry department
05:22at Meharry Medical College. One of my mom's sisters did some of the pioneering research on aspirin.
05:27My parents went to HBCU. And so, I very much grew up in a prominent Black family.
05:35Appearances, of course, were super important.
05:37It's always trying to dispel the myth of all these negative connotations of what Blackness means in this country.
05:501989, I made the track team. Ninth grade year.
05:54So, I was smart and I was athletic, but when it came to my father, if I got a B, he'd be like,
06:04why wasn't it an A? If I won a track meet, you know, did you break a record?
06:09There was just an expectation of excellence.
06:12And then, ninth grade was also when I met Vinny.
06:20He was a baseball player. He had this barrel chest and engaging smile.
06:27And Vinny had also grown up in a fundamental Christian home.
06:31The way my parents received anybody in our lives was they didn't matter unless they helped us be better or didn't get in our way.
06:40And so, he was just the boyfriend.
06:43You know, be good to her, make her happy, or it's not going to be pretty.
06:47So, I was, you know, now dating this 18-year-old college baseball player.
06:53And I was really excelling academically and in athletics.
06:59Colleges were already starting to reach out.
07:03I think my family and I had a lot of expectations that I would continue to do well.
07:09Until all of a sudden, the train jumped off the rails.
07:15I was 15.
07:17All of my friends were very smart, academic, athletes.
07:20We were all going places, and I was pregnant.
07:32I started coming up here this summer between my freshman and sophomore year.
07:37I was able to cry, I was able to yell, and nobody would hear me.
07:43I just felt like I needed to get away.
07:50My mom definitely warned me not to be that kind of girl who, you know, had sex before marriage.
08:01I was just so embarrassed and ashamed that I had made such a bad choice getting pregnant.
08:10And so, I had the conversation with Vinny, and his response was, well, you know, we can't keep it.
08:19It was an early fall morning.
08:28I was skipping school for the first time.
08:30Vinny drove up near the gym.
08:32And I came out of those doors and hopped in the car, and we turned around and drove away.
08:43He was like, are you okay?
08:44I'm like, yeah, I'm okay.
08:45I wasn't okay.
08:46But what do you say when you're getting ready to, you know, have an abortion?
08:57I was taught that having an abortion was killing a child.
09:01But I went inside.
09:07There were other girls who were getting abortions.
09:11And there was a woman that gave us all these little blue pills.
09:16She said it would just relax us before the procedure.
09:26Then she took me into the examination room.
09:31I laid on the table.
09:36The doctor came in and proceeded to do the ultrasound.
09:49And there was just something inside of me that just revolted.
10:01I just jumped off the table, put my clothes on, and I walked out.
10:13After that, I remember asking Vinny, are you mad at me?
10:18And he said no, but you know you have to tell your parents.
10:21I couldn't see a world where I could tell my parents.
10:28And so I didn't.
10:30I just continued on with my life.
10:33I started wearing baggy clothes, and I had to hide my morning sickness.
10:38No clue.
10:41No clue whatsoever.
10:42Didn't know anything was different.
10:43I remember I was almost found out because the track had started.
10:48And I took my sweatshirt off, and my coach said, you're kind of out of shape, but we'll be fine, you know.
10:54And then my mom started seeing the different behavior.
10:59And one day, she said, Zoe, are you pregnant?
11:03Even with her directly asking me, I could not tell her.
11:11And so my mom found this doctor.
11:13We had to drive far, someplace where no one knew us.
11:17And the doctor confirmed the pregnancy.
11:22And I remember my mom telling me, you can't stay home.
11:29This is a bad example to Yolanda.
11:32I had done something so devastating that I needed to be put away.
11:39The Liberty Godparent Home.
11:42Jerry Falwell founded this life-giving ministry
11:45that offers an alternative to the profit-motivated abortion industry.
11:49What type of girl comes here?
11:51We've had girls as young as 10 years old, up to 47.
11:56My parents donated heavily to Jerry Falwell, and so they devised this plan.
12:03I was going to have to go to this unwed pregnancy home in Virginia.
12:10This plan would be our secret, my parents and mine.
12:13And to keep it, they told everyone else a different story.
12:18My teachers, my track coach, even my brother and sister.
12:21It was Christmas break.
12:27My mom came up to my room and said, meet me in the car in five minutes.
12:35We leave the house.
12:37Edward's in the car.
12:38I'm just like, what is going on?
12:41Zoe's not coming?
12:43No.
12:43Okay.
12:44We go to Hardee's.
12:48We were sitting in a booth, and my dad says that.
12:54Zoe was having psychological problems.
12:58And that she needed to go away to deal with him.
13:03And if other people asked where she went,
13:05we were told to say that she decided to go to boarding school,
13:08and then that was that.
13:09I remember saying, can we visit her?
13:12And he said no, that it would interfere with her treatment.
13:17Growing up, you know, whatever my parents said was what was happening.
13:21So I didn't question it.
13:24The next morning, Zoe left.
13:29Walking into the home
13:30was like being transported back to the 1950s.
13:35I was terrified.
13:40I'd never seen so many pregnant girls at one time before.
13:45There were probably about 20 of us.
13:48We were housed in the same building, essentially,
13:52as the adoption agency that would take our children.
13:55We are an adoption agency.
13:57We have 100 applications from solid Christian families
14:01for every baby we have.
14:02Call that toll-free number.
14:03People back home thought that I was at boarding school.
14:10I wasn't aware of any rumors that were circulating about me.
14:15There was this girl saying that my sister was pregnant.
14:19And my mom told me to confront the girl
14:22for telling lies about my sister.
14:24So, on my 16th birthday, I was about six months pregnant.
14:33I found out that I was having a girl,
14:36and I came up with the name Kaya Embriel.
14:41I had a lot of fantasies,
14:43but I did get some letters from my mom.
14:49She indicated to me,
14:52if I were to keep my baby,
14:55that our relationship would change,
14:57and I would lose my mom.
15:02My mother would have never picked a babysitter for me
15:05by looking at some pictures and an album.
15:10But here I am, eight months pregnant,
15:12picking parents for my child
15:14by looking at some pictures and an album.
15:17I remember one day,
15:25my mom was talking to somebody on the phone,
15:29frenzied.
15:30She gets off the phone.
15:32Zoe's ready to be discharged.
15:34I have to go pick her up.
15:36She left immediately.
15:38I was very relieved to see my mom.
15:48But I remember I had asked the nurse
15:51if I could have some, you know, medication.
15:55And my mom, she shook her head.
16:00Like, I deserve to experience this pain.
16:04But my Kaya...
16:06I birthed her.
16:11May 9th, 1991.
16:15It was late evening by the time I had her.
16:19And in the morning, it was time to go.
16:23I remember telling her that I couldn't keep her.
16:26And that...
16:28I remember...
16:29I'm sorry, I'm going to need to take a break.
16:36I told her she would have a good life
16:39and that that's what I wanted for her.
16:42And please don't hate me.
16:49I just left my baby upstairs.
16:51And I come down,
16:52and my mom pulls around,
16:54and it was a two-seater Pontiac Fiero red.
16:57Like, surprise, here's your new car.
16:59The license plate said Sprinter,
17:10which for me was just a reminder,
17:13like, you're not a mother, you're a Sprinter.
17:15And it just kind of hit me like it's a two-seater.
17:19Like, there's no option of bringing Kaya home.
17:22I knew that my mom's main goal
17:28was to return me to my prior, unburdened teenage life.
17:33These are pictures of me when I was at the birth home.
17:38We couldn't go home because I still looked pregnant.
17:41And so we went to a hotel,
17:43and I remember in the middle of the night,
17:47I woke up and I heard moaning and crying,
17:53and it took me a few seconds
17:55before I realized that it was me.
17:58And that's the blanket that I crocheted for her.
18:03And the next day,
18:04my mom took me to go get some corsets,
18:09something to hold in my stomach.
18:10And my parents sent me back to high school.
18:21Basically, it was Zoe's back.
18:23I was like, oh, okay, great.
18:26Business as usual.
18:28Vinny and I continued to go out,
18:30and I pretended nothing had ever happened.
18:36I understood this is a very big secret
18:38that I have to keep.
18:40Maybe a couple days, a week later.
18:46Zoe literally just called me in the room.
18:47She said, hey, I got to tell you something.
18:50And she showed me pictures of her, you know, big belly.
18:54She said, I had a baby.
18:57It was a big shock.
19:00At some point, I was snooping around in her room.
19:04I found pictures of her pregnant.
19:07I was just like, oh.
19:10I never said anything to her about it at all.
19:19In our family, you didn't talk about the secret.
19:22These are pictures that the adoptive family sent to me.
19:29Vinny and I got letters the first year.
19:32And then they sent me this one.
19:37It says, dear birth mother, our baby is doing fine.
19:41She can say about five words, hi, bye-bye, mommy, daddy, and uh-oh.
19:47Enclosed are the last set of pictures we will be sending.
19:50Basically, we're going on with our life, you go on with your life.
19:58Getting that last letter was hard.
19:59I didn't realize the effect that it would have on me.
20:09Wow.
20:10I can't believe that my name is still here.
20:15100-meter hurdles, long jump, triple jump.
20:19That's cool.
20:20I poured everything I had in the track.
20:26And it really helped with my grieving.
20:31What I learned to do was put up the facade of Zoe, local track star.
20:41Because what I wasn't was a mother.
20:43My relationship with Vinny was the only remaining connection that I had with my secret daughter.
20:58After I graduated, I made the hard choice to break up with him.
21:02I kind of wanted him to ask me to marry him.
21:05And I had wished that maybe he had, you know, done something to help me keep Kaya.
21:12But he didn't.
21:15What I didn't know at that time was that my father had confronted Vinny before Kaya was born.
21:24My dad basically told him, you know, look, we're not going to mess up Zoe's life.
21:30And if you try to help her keep the baby, I'll get you prosecuted for statutory rape.
21:37That's why he never pushed it all to try to keep Kaya.
21:46In June 1993, just weeks after breaking up with Vinny, I was in Los Angeles competing for the Junior National Track Team.
21:54My mom and I were walking along the city walk, Universal, and I saw this actor.
22:05His name was Stan Shaw.
22:07He was probably 41 at that time.
22:10I asked him for his autograph.
22:13We started talking and he asked me out to dinner.
22:16We went to eat and we really connected.
22:25And he asked me to marry him that night.
22:29I said yes.
22:32You know, it was one of those romantic moments where you get caught up.
22:37Ultimately, my parents were supportive.
22:42This marriage could bring stability to my life.
22:45Besides, I felt like I was damaged goods.
22:49And this would exonerate me.
22:52But I knew that I had to tell him the secret.
22:56I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Stan Shaw.
23:12Stan and I got married about a year after we met, June 1994.
23:18It was the wedding of the century in Hagerstown.
23:23Tom Luke was one of the groomsmen.
23:24And part of growing up in a very strict Christian home is shame over premarital sex.
23:34And, you know, the fix to that is to get married.
23:36So there was a sense of my past is behind me.
23:41You can go on and have a normal life despite the scarlet letter.
23:46But being married to this Hollywood actor, it was pretty overwhelming for a 19-year-old girl.
23:55I had to reconcile my secrets with Stan and figure out how they would impact our marriage.
24:04We had a conversation about Kaya before we actually got married.
24:09And he was just like, oh, yeah, I'm fine with it.
24:12But our entire marriage, there was that unspoken, we're going to pretend like that didn't happen.
24:18I definitely worked on trying to be a perfect wife, and that meant keeping the secret.
24:28Zoe, keep being yourself.
24:31I know you'll be a great wife and eventually a great mother.
24:33I spent my late teens and early 20s as a scholarship athlete at UCLA by day and a wife to actor Stan Shaw by night.
24:51I hope you enjoy your husband's film.
24:52From the outside looking in, everything seemed perfect, especially after I got pregnant with our first child.
24:59I can remember thinking, she's going to have a baby that she can keep.
25:06We first met in birthing class.
25:09It was my first child, and, you know, I thought it was Zoe's first child, too.
25:15Sakaya was born in 2001.
25:19I remember feeling the irony of everybody being so excited and all the celebration.
25:26I was absolutely thinking about Kaya, who I had lost.
25:33Zoe was very attached to her baby.
25:36Nobody watched her baby, just her.
25:39And I even asked, like, do you need a break?
25:41She goes, no, I just want to be with them all the time.
25:44Then, I had Sage in 2004, and we had our two boys.
25:51But I didn't realize that I had such a deep-seated shame, and it wasn't until I had Sully that it all just kind of bubbled up.
26:00At 31, here I was with a daughter who would face incredible struggles for the rest of her life.
26:08On top of that, I had also never come to terms with the trauma of giving up my firstborn Kaya for adoption.
26:15So, I had, for years, my Kaya suitcase.
26:22I kept the gown that I wore in the hospital.
26:24I kept the little onesie, her little cap, the pacifier, and her first bottle.
26:31It was my little shrine.
26:33What I didn't know was that at the same time I was grieving my lost daughter, she was out there pining for me.
26:42I play the what-if game all the time.
26:50I know my parents love me, but my life would be completely different.
26:57Happy birthday to you.
27:01Happy birthday to you.
27:05I was born May 9, 1991.
27:07Thank you, Sarah.
27:10You know, Sarah means princess.
27:12And I ran with that my whole life.
27:16Go, girl.
27:17I was the light of everyone's life.
27:19Throw him a kiss.
27:20I was spoiled.
27:22Will you guys build?
27:25Then, probably around fourth grade, I remember my parents sitting me down and telling me I was adopted.
27:30They said that my birth parents loved me and, you know, they were just too young.
27:40But I always wanted to know more.
27:43So, I am about 13, 14, being curious, being sneaky.
27:53I'm going into my mom's room and she had a box.
27:57And in the box, I see a bunch of letters.
28:07It's Zoe and Vinny writing me letters.
28:11I just sat for hours just reading these letters.
28:15There were some pictures of Zoe and her kids.
28:21And then I found a locket.
28:24Zoe wanted me to have the locket on my, like, 16th birthday.
28:29It said, I love you.
28:34It meant everything.
28:38I hid the letters.
28:40I just kept them.
28:41I felt closer, you know, to her.
28:45Just reading her letters.
28:46So, it was April, 2010.
28:52That's when I got the call.
28:54It was Vinny, who rarely called me.
28:58He said, I have our daughter on the phone.
29:05When I got the call, I literally just dropped on the floor.
29:12And I was like, hi.
29:13Like, I'm nervous.
29:14And she was like, oh, my gosh.
29:17We exchanged numbers.
29:18And we talked, texted.
29:21It was literally Zoe's kid found her.
29:23Her name is Sarah now.
29:25And she's in Hagerstown, Maryland.
29:28It was just like, oh, wow.
29:31I get a call from my sister.
29:33Up until then, Zoe had never told me about Sarah.
29:39I remember Zoe calling me out of the blue.
29:43I had a baby at 16 and gave her up for adoption.
29:46And now she's reached out.
29:48And I'm going to go to Vegas to meet her.
29:50Okay.
29:52Like, what?
29:55Up until that moment, I had acquiesced to all of the stories and secrets, right?
30:03That was my first moment of defiance.
30:10April 6, 2010.
30:13I was in the airport and I was terrified.
30:17How do you prepare to meet your child, your adult child, for the first time?
30:22So I'm on an escalator going down.
30:26And instantly, I see her.
30:29And I'm like, oh, my God.
30:30I saw her at the top of the escalator.
30:33We just hugged each other.
30:35It was like, it was just the two of us in the airport.
30:39I wanted to feel all these things.
30:41And I saw her tear up.
30:43And as beautiful and amazing as that experience was, I couldn't even cry.
30:50It was like a block.
30:52I felt that emotional shutdown.
30:55That's been a survival skill for me.
30:57But we had a weekend together.
31:03And we'd shared 18 years of, you know, time that we'd been apart.
31:10I told Zoe, you know, I do forgive you.
31:14I understand.
31:16Life happens.
31:17And that's when I broke down.
31:21That's when I started crying.
31:24That fear that I had that she would hate me, none of that existed.
31:30She forgave me.
31:33Hi.
31:39There was a part of me that was worried that you wouldn't want to see me.
31:43Did you think about seeing me over the years?
31:49Of course.
31:50I mean, I was looking.
31:51I knew Vinny's last name.
31:53He put all the information in the letter.
31:56Last name.
31:58And they didn't cross that out?
31:59They did.
31:59They didn't cross it out good.
32:01Yes.
32:01So, I was at Morgan State in my dorm room.
32:08It was March 2010.
32:10I was 18.
32:12So, I hold the letter up to the light.
32:15And instantly, clear as day.
32:18It said, Brown.
32:19Immediately, I'm on Facebook, looking up Vincent Brown.
32:25I click add friend.
32:28And then he instantly messaged me.
32:29He was like, I think you're my daughter.
32:33Wow.
32:35The next day, we hung out for a little.
32:38And he was like, I have to call Zoe.
32:41I have to let her know.
32:42And then I heard your voice.
32:48Hi.
32:50It was like an angel.
32:52I fantasized about it for 18 years.
32:57I posted our trip on Facebook.
33:01And my mom was like, so, you met Zoe?
33:05Like, but she wasn't mad.
33:08They weren't upset at all.
33:09After Vegas, I went back home and put that relationship in a box.
33:21She was still a secret.
33:24Once Sarah found Zoe, my mom wanted to just keep it within our nuclear family
33:30and not let all the aunts and uncles and cousins know, you know,
33:34hi, we've been living a lie for the last 20 years.
33:35Over the next four years, my parents met Sarah,
33:42and they developed a relationship of their own.
33:46My dad and I never had a conversation about Sarah.
33:50But my mom and dad would go visit her sometimes where she worked.
33:55One night, it was 2014.
33:59My grandparents came out to Texas Roadhouse in Hagerstown.
34:03My grandfather loved Texas Roadhouse.
34:06I was their server.
34:07So we sat and talked a little bit.
34:12They went home that night, and he had a heart attack.
34:17The world shifted, and everything changed when my dad died.
34:25The whole family was coming to the funeral,
34:28and Zoe did not feel like she could continue to deny Sarah.
34:34I'm not going to keep this a secret anymore.
34:36When my dad died in 2014, immediately, my thought was,
34:50well, Sarah's got to be there.
34:53I need to tell everybody about Sarah.
34:59And I remember saying to my husband, I didn't ask him.
35:03I made it very clear.
35:04I am telling my kids, I sat them on the bed,
35:07and I said, you have a sister that I had a long time ago.
35:13And my kids' mouths dropped open.
35:19And I tried to broach the situation with my mom.
35:23And there was just no reaction at all.
35:28Obviously, my mom had an atomic bomb dropped in her life
35:31with her husband dying,
35:32and then she has to deal with Zoe's going to tell the secret.
35:37That was a secret you took to your grave.
35:40And that was not going to be an option
35:41once Sarah came to the funeral.
35:44Zoe prepared me.
35:45She was like, nobody knows who you are,
35:47but, you know, here we go.
35:49After the funeral, everybody came back to my house
36:02for the repass.
36:04And I brought her into the main living room
36:06where the entire family was.
36:08And I said, hey, everyone.
36:12I had a daughter when I was 16.
36:15I placed her for adoption.
36:19And this is my daughter, Sarah.
36:20I want all of you guys to meet her.
36:27Whew.
36:30Me being the secret,
36:32I never really processed it
36:33until I had to experience it firsthand.
36:35Like, oh, okay.
36:37I didn't know Zoe had a daughter, you know, your age.
36:41Yep.
36:43It was awkward, definitely.
36:45It was so overwhelming for me.
36:46I left the room.
36:49Everybody was enamored by, you know,
36:52the story of our family.
36:53And so the idea that one of us
36:56did anything that wasn't perfect
36:58was like, what?
37:00Huge shock.
37:11When you've hidden the truth for so long,
37:15once you start sharing it,
37:17it's hard to not continue.
37:18And the more I shared it,
37:22I healed.
37:23I've now written a memoir
37:25called Stronger in the Difficult Places.
37:27It's the same name as my podcast.
37:31In 2023,
37:33Stan and I got divorced.
37:36The beginning of the downfall of my marriage
37:38was me speaking my truth.
37:40But I'm convinced that the ramifications
37:43of not speaking
37:44are way, way more damaging.
37:46As for my children,
37:51Sully, you have one.
37:51Put it down so no one sees it.
37:53All five of them are doing well.
37:57I want to show you something real quick.
37:58Okay.
38:06I did not know
38:07that you had this picture.
38:12How did, did I give this to you?
38:13That was in the letter.
38:15Wow.
38:15Yeah.
38:16Wow.
38:18That was the last time
38:19I fed you.
38:21And right after that,
38:22that's when I,
38:22when I left you.
38:25So, fast forward.
38:28I've been married to my husband
38:29for 11 years.
38:31I am a proud mother of four.
38:35Zoe named me Kaya Ambriel.
38:38So, my first born daughter,
38:40I named her Kaya Ambriel.
38:43When you named her Kaya,
38:46it meant so much to me.
38:48How do you feel about
38:50our relationship today?
38:52I'm so thankful.
38:54But I want, I want more.
38:56I agree.
38:57I want more.
39:00Even though
39:01I didn't get to raise you.
39:06I'm so very proud of you.
39:13This is one of my favorite pictures.
39:14Yeah.
39:15Goodness, I look so young.
39:16What a happy family we were.
39:22It was a sweet time.
39:23My babies.
39:26Look at your baby.
39:27Hey!
39:28My family,
39:29all of us,
39:31continue to work hard
39:32to repair the intergenerational trauma
39:34that we've all suffered
39:36because of this secret.
39:38Mom, does this thing work?
39:39Especially myself,
39:41my mom,
39:42and Sarah.
39:44Do I need to have
39:46a deep conversation
39:48with my mom about it
39:49to fully heal?
39:50No.
39:51I don't.
39:55All behavior makes sense
39:56in its context.
39:58I fully understand
39:59the choices that my mom made,
40:03the choices that I made.
40:06That's what?
40:07You want it?
40:09I have thought about
40:13the decisions
40:14that my grandmother made.
40:15We're going to stop it now
40:16or it will go forever.
40:18But she makes the effort
40:20to check on me and the kids.
40:23So I give her grace
40:25in that aspect.
40:27I'm happy with the way
40:28everything turned out.
40:30Regardless of how it happened,
40:33I'm okay.
40:35It was a very,
40:36very long journey.
40:38I went through
40:39some dark periods
40:40but found myself
40:42and figured out
40:43how to really understand shame
40:46and heal myself
40:47and heal other women as well.
40:48I was told it's complicated.
40:58You wouldn't understand.
41:00Heather always asks,
41:01where's my dad?
41:02I think any child
41:04expects loyalty
41:05from their mother.
41:06I can't put it in words
41:08but I failed.
41:10It was all my fault.
41:11I failed her.
41:13My father calls
41:14and he says,
41:14if an unknown number calls you,
41:16don't answer it.
41:17This is a secret.
41:18I've been holding
41:19since I was a kid.
41:21Heather is the secret
41:22that we know about.
41:23There might be others.
41:24My money would be on others.
41:25Thanks a lot.
Recommended
42:29
|
Up next
1:57:43
41:24
41:31
41:32
41:31
40:53
41:31
41:01
47:18
43:34
43:17
43:31
43:53
51:44
1:04:04
50:09
41:31
41:31
43:12
49:57
Be the first to comment