Is Tom Arnold still in contact with ex-wife Roseanne?

New York Post

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00:00People are like, are you and Rosette still friends?

00:02I'm like, if we could be friends, we'd be married.

00:04That's the point.

00:05You don't have to be friends with your ex.

00:08I've seen her one time.

00:09And that was at her roast.

00:11I roasted her.

00:12It was perfect.

00:13It's the perfect Hollywood thing where I had seen her 18 years.

00:17She asked me to do the roast.

00:18I'm like, oh, she must be desperate to get people there.

00:22And kind of back and forth.

00:23And I assumed it would be canceled or whatever.

00:26But Comedy Central pays you a lot of money to do those things.

00:29I was nervous because I wanted to be funny.

00:33It didn't come together until the lawyers had to go stay up all night in New York,

00:37getting rid of all the restraining orders against each other and all the stuff.

00:41Our divorce thing said, if you make fun of his penis, you have to pay him $100,000.

00:45If she makes fun of your vagina, it's $100,000.

00:47Like, it's all crazy.

00:48Oh, my God.

00:49So, Marty Singer.

00:50A comedic divorce hits different, yeah.

00:52That's very, you know, what a waste of money to have to put that on record.

00:55But they figured out on Saturday morning, the day of the roast, okay, we got it done.

01:00You could go.

01:00You guys could be in the same room.

01:02And I realized I have not written down any jokes.

01:05Oh, my God.

01:05I'm going to quit there.

01:06And then my brain went, I have 18 jokes, one for every year where you kind of put it in the back of your brain.

01:12And nobody knew I was coming.

01:14And I didn't know for sure I was going to be.

01:16They hid me in some trailer.

01:18So, by the way, there had been a lot of Tom Arnold jokes before I got on stage.

01:21That's just how it goes.

01:22And then so someone had her card like he is here.

01:25And she's like, oh, somebody else wants to say something.

01:27Tom Arnold.

01:28People are like, ha, ha.

01:29And when I walked out, the dais, the other comedians, they gasped.

01:34You never see anything real on TV like that.

01:37I start plowing through my 18 jokes.

01:39Man, I just want to get through them.

01:41And I know she's over here.

01:43And so I do a very nice thing where I talk about, you know, when she went on Johnny Carson and it was her big break.

01:49And she was my big break and get a little emotional.

01:52I haven't seen what people do when they walk off.

01:55Do they hug her?

01:55Do they?

01:56And so I went up to her and you can see, you know, like I didn't want to do kind of a thing.

01:59We kind of pat, you know, and then went backstage, get my mic up, you know, before I ruin it.

02:05That's perfect.

02:05I'm like, I'm getting out of here.

02:07And she comes back and says, I really appreciate that.

02:09Let's bury the hatchet.

02:10I go, thank you very much.

02:12Let's do.

02:13And then the photographer's like, hey, let's do a picture.

02:15She's like, no, I got to run to the restroom.

02:16And I'm like, so screw it.

02:18So I got out, left.

02:20And on the way to the airport, I was telling my girlfriend that.

02:23And she's like, of course she did it.

02:25Take a picture.

02:26She had to go.

02:27You're her ex-husband.

02:28She had to go see what she looked like first.

02:30Then I go, I thought she was blowing me off.

02:32I'm like.

02:32Oh, my God.

02:32Wait, that's so true, though.

02:34Yeah.

02:34But I was like, if she wanted a picture, she would have just taken it.

02:37Screw it.

02:38I'm out of here.

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