00:00I was brought up with Christianity in my childhood, and then I strayed, and so in a nutshell, I just kind of in the last five years have made my way back and have a different understanding than maybe when I was a kid.
00:16Because I think when you're a kid, or at least for me, it was like, we just go to church because that's what we have to do. And I didn't have actual profound questions that I want answered like I do now. And so I think as an adult, you get to have a different understanding of that.
00:35And so that's kind of how I, in a weird, artsy way, just kind of came back. And the last five years have just been studying the Bible, and now at this church, we have our women's Bible study and stuff that I attend.
00:52You guys have a meeting you go to, right? I watched another podcast that you were on.
00:56Oh, yeah?
00:56Yeah.
00:57Oh, yeah.
00:58I heard you talk about it anyway, that you guys have a Bible study each week.
01:00Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I think I'm going to always have questions and continue to want to learn and have deeper understandings of things. And so, but I, in that podcast that you probably watched, like I talk about like, a little bit what you said, it's like, we're trying to find meaning or want to feel again, you know, and I think there's a lot of temporary fixes or, you know, like, you know, I used to, like, I was an addict, and I, you know, I'm so, I'll have, I'll have a
01:3017 years sober in July. And so, you know, I think I feel like those are all things that kind of like lead you in that in that direction. Yeah. And, yeah, I think, you know, it's such an intimate and personal thing, like my relationship with God is my own. And, and I've never really felt like I belonged anywhere.
01:50Um, like, especially now, I think, like, being public with my faith, um, puts you into like this microscopic, um, critical tank, you know, and so I get criticized from, from all sides now, which I don't care, because at the end of the day, I'm, you know, my relationships with, with God, not you, but, right.
02:14But it is interesting. I feel like now it's just becomes funny, like some of the comments I get. Yeah, I think because people have a hard time understanding the aesthetic and pairing that with something, which is aesthetic, you mean? Yeah, right. The ambiance of you and then compare and then pairing it in Christianity. And it's so silly to me. And like, I don't understand how people don't see how close minded that is, you know, and how like, yeah, why would you think that you have to look a certain way to, to have an understanding of the Bible, you know? Yeah. Or, you know,
02:45Yeah, that's a good point, too. I think it's all, well, a lot of that, there's a lot of interest in stuff there, you know? Yeah, like, like I do, but, you know, so
02:52I mean, there's a lot to think about in all of this. Yeah, for sure. You know, like one time I went to like a Jordan Peterson, um, uh, lecture, and my husband and I were like the only people that looked like us there. Um, but I was
03:05Black people, you mean? What? You mean black people? No, we just
03:09I just like, and I don't want to diss on like Jordan's fan base, but I feel like
03:17there, everybody had their own uniform, you know? Like there was just rows of people in front of me
03:23and they all kind of dressed the same. Really? Yeah. And I was like, man, for some, for
03:27people, and I'm not, again, not judging or criticizing, but you would think that like
03:31free, free thinkers would, or maybe they just don't care. I don't know. Like, so
03:37the church I go to is like a really small church and it's, it's, there's not enough
03:41people to have a, a running trend or anything like that. But when I went to like a big church
03:46in California recently, I looked around and it's like a lot of people have the same, same
03:50style. And so I realized that maybe because, um, like modern day Christians are so used to
03:57being surrounded by people that look the same as them. When someone like, like me comes into
04:02the mix, it's like, Oh wait, this is demonic or this is cause I get called demonic a lot
04:08or, um, or this is like, you know, you're serving two masters. And I'm like, I, I don't
04:13think any of that is accurate. You know, I don't think you have to, there's no dress code
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