- 2 months ago
Category
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TVTranscript
00:01:59I can't believe this is like a palace.
00:02:01I think this is the place.
00:02:03This is it?
00:02:05Oh, there's Edna's car.
00:02:07Okay.
00:02:08Mr. Badcap?
00:02:09Mm-hmm.
00:02:10What's the plan?
00:02:11Okay, we've seen, what, six, seven houses already?
00:02:14Eleven.
00:02:15Eleven, right.
00:02:16Yeah, perfect.
00:02:17Okay, we...
00:02:18Oh, holy shit, this kitchen.
00:02:25Wow.
00:02:26I mean, I want to learn how to make souffles in this kitchen.
00:02:30This coming from a man who can't even microwave hot dogs in my apartment?
00:02:34You're goddamn right.
00:02:35I'm impressed.
00:02:37So what's the catch?
00:02:52Aquarobics?
00:02:52Aquarobics?
00:02:52Nude.
00:02:53Does every one of your scenarios involve me being naked?
00:02:58I mean, I don't know.
00:03:01Uh, what's that noise?
00:03:04What?
00:03:05That, like that loud...
00:03:06It's like a boom, two, boom.
00:03:07Oh, I don't hear anything.
00:03:10Okay.
00:03:10There's definitely, like, a...
00:03:13Throbbing bass line.
00:03:15It's pretty loud.
00:03:16Oh, that.
00:03:18That's nothing.
00:03:19That's absolutely nothing.
00:03:20It's just someone in the guest house.
00:03:24Oh.
00:03:25Okay.
00:03:25Okay, yeah.
00:03:26Okay.
00:03:37Oh, that's hot.
00:03:39Oh, that's hot.
00:03:47Are you guys here for the party?
00:03:49Hell no.
00:03:50Wait, wait, wait.
00:03:50Come back, come back.
00:03:52That's enough.
00:03:53No, guys, wait.
00:03:53Wait, wait, wait.
00:03:54Trust me.
00:03:55No.
00:03:55You'll be out of here in a month.
00:03:57You could use it as rental property.
00:04:0224-hour notice, Edna.
00:04:0324-hour notice.
00:04:04You know that shit.
00:04:05I texted you, faxed you, DM'd you.
00:04:08I hit you up on MySpace.
00:04:09Well, you know I don't check my social media platforms
00:04:11or my text messages when I'm fucking on hallucinogenics.
00:04:15Oh, but somehow you managed to respond with a dick pic.
00:04:19Yeah, and you should be thanking me.
00:04:20That was my penis's good side.
00:04:21Your penis looked depressed.
00:04:23Well, here it is, guys.
00:04:27This is it.
00:04:27This is the guest house.
00:04:29Okay?
00:04:29It's a smaller version of the big house,
00:04:31except for it smells like bong water and KY.
00:04:33Yeah.
00:04:35Okay?
00:04:35You've seen Zit, now take off.
00:04:36I think I'm gonna be sick.
00:04:37Go, go, spatch, spatch.
00:04:39Oh, the crap.
00:04:43It's not that bad.
00:04:45Mm.
00:04:47Want to smoke some weed, bro?
00:04:48Oh, no, no, I'm good.
00:04:50Thank you so much.
00:04:50But, uh, no, I haven't smoked anything in a really long time, so.
00:04:54Yeah.
00:04:55Great.
00:04:55Okay.
00:04:56You got so much cool, random stuff in here.
00:04:59Yeah, well, I'm a collector of old artifacts.
00:05:01Oh, my God, you have a bomb.
00:05:03Yeah.
00:05:03That's so cool.
00:05:04That's cool.
00:05:04But what about this?
00:05:05Right here, this is Tommy Lee's sex swing.
00:05:08Right on.
00:05:09Great.
00:05:10Uh, cool.
00:05:11All right, listen.
00:05:12Let's get down to brass tacks here.
00:05:14Okay.
00:05:15What is it?
00:05:15What's your name?
00:05:16Blake?
00:05:16Blake.
00:05:16Blake, yeah.
00:05:17Yeah, take a seat.
00:05:17So here's the deal.
00:05:18Let me just ask you a question.
00:05:19Are you guys really thinking about buying this place,
00:05:21or are you just passing through?
00:05:23Well, actually, you know,
00:05:24I think we're pretty serious about it.
00:05:25We really...
00:05:26Oh, hey.
00:05:29Really?
00:05:29Here, you want it?
00:05:30No, no, no.
00:05:31That's not why I was looking at it.
00:05:32It's Peruvian.
00:05:33Just came in from El Chapo.
00:05:35Wow.
00:05:36It's still morning.
00:05:37Yeah, it's pretty great.
00:05:39Listen, um, if you buy the place...
00:05:41We're thinking if we buy the place,
00:05:42we'd want access to all of it,
00:05:43which would include the guest house.
00:05:45You understand.
00:05:47Copy, copy.
00:05:48Gotcha, gotcha.
00:05:49All right.
00:05:49Well, this was awesome.
00:05:50Uh, very nice to meet you, Mr...
00:05:52Cockfield.
00:05:53Brandy Cockfield.
00:05:55Bye.
00:05:55Bye.
00:05:55Bye, thank you.
00:05:59Bye.
00:06:00Are you freaking kidding me?
00:06:02I know, but we have to give him time to move out.
00:06:04I know.
00:06:04Edna told me I just don't feel comfortable
00:06:07allowing him to down and talk with him
00:06:08about all of his finances and everything.
00:06:10Look, I know that this is weird.
00:06:12I do.
00:06:13You think?
00:06:13But aren't you tired?
00:06:15I'm so tired.
00:06:16I just want to...
00:06:17I want to just lay down.
00:06:19I want to be home.
00:06:20Just say we live here now.
00:06:22We're not going anywhere.
00:06:24I do love that yard.
00:06:25And then what about the gazebo?
00:06:34Promise me he'll be out soon.
00:06:36That guy gives off weird vibes.
00:06:39I P&T promise.
00:06:40I'm serious, babe.
00:06:46I'm serious.
00:06:48I promise.
00:06:49As soon as we get settled in here,
00:06:50I will march right out there,
00:06:52and I'll say,
00:06:52you got to get out of here in three months.
00:06:55It's going to end up...
00:06:56a week.
00:06:58We could get him out of there in a week.
00:06:59I love this photo.
00:07:21Well, take a look at this.
00:07:30Later, bruh.
00:07:31Later.
00:07:32Bruh.
00:07:34Hey.
00:07:34Hey.
00:07:35Hey.
00:07:35Hey.
00:07:36Hey.
00:07:36Hey.
00:07:37Hey.
00:07:37Hey.
00:07:38Hey.
00:07:38Hey.
00:07:39Hey.
00:07:39Hey.
00:07:40Hey.
00:07:40Hey.
00:07:41Hey.
00:07:41Hey.
00:07:42Hey.
00:07:42Hey.
00:07:43Hey.
00:07:43Hey.
00:07:44Hey.
00:07:44Hey.
00:07:45Hey.
00:07:45Hey.
00:07:46Hey.
00:07:46Hey.
00:07:47Hey.
00:07:47Hey.
00:07:48Hey.
00:07:48Hey.
00:07:49Hey.
00:07:49Hey.
00:07:50Hey.
00:07:50Hey.
00:07:51Hey.
00:07:51Hey.
00:07:52Hey.
00:07:52Hey.
00:07:53Hey.
00:07:53Hey.
00:07:54Hey.
00:07:54Hey.
00:07:55Hey.
00:07:55Hey.
00:07:56Hey.
00:07:56Hey.
00:07:57Hey.
00:07:57Hey.
00:07:58Hey.
00:07:58Hey.
00:07:59Hey.
00:07:59Hey.
00:08:00Hey.
00:08:00Hey.
00:08:01Hey.
00:08:01Hey.
00:08:02Hey.
00:08:02Hey.
00:08:03Hey.
00:08:03Hey.
00:08:04Hey.
00:08:05Hey.
00:08:06Hey.
00:08:07Hey.
00:08:08Hey.
00:08:09Hey.
00:08:10Hey.
00:08:11Hey.
00:08:12I thought we could do anything that you wanted.
00:08:15Yeah.
00:08:20You know, this is a judgment-free zone, right?
00:08:23Yeah.
00:08:24Remember the other day when you were, uh,
00:08:27talking to me like a dude?
00:08:29Mm-hmm.
00:08:30Yeah, it kind of, uh, something about it,
00:08:32because it's, you're acting like a dude, but it's you,
00:08:35but it's you doing that voice, or...
00:08:38Gotcha.
00:08:42Fuck me, bro.
00:08:44What?
00:08:45What?
00:08:46You heard of hair in their cheek?
00:08:47I said, fuck me, bro.
00:08:48Oh, yeah.
00:08:49Yeah, that really works for me.
00:08:56Oh, fuck me, bro!
00:08:57Oh, my God.
00:09:07What the fuck?
00:09:10Sorry.
00:09:12Oh!
00:09:17Wow.
00:09:19Looks like he's just doing ayahuasca.
00:09:21Ayahuasca?
00:09:22What the hell is that?
00:09:23It's where you, like, drink a tea from a root,
00:09:25and you get all sick, and have a spiritual experience.
00:09:28You'll be all right, my brother.
00:09:30Just let it out.
00:09:31You're trying to get all the negativity out.
00:09:34Oh.
00:09:35Let's not let this get in the way.
00:09:39Yeah, bro.
00:09:40Find some a couple...
00:09:41Hold on.
00:09:44Dude.
00:09:45What the fuck?
00:09:46Dude, I can't, dude.
00:09:47Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:09:48Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:09:49I'll really work.
00:09:50Hold on, look...
00:09:52Come on.
00:09:53He's, like, dying out there.
00:09:54Well, it's part of the...
00:09:55I can't.
00:09:56Experience.
00:09:57Don't just...
00:09:59Fucking Randy.
00:10:27Okay.
00:10:52Wake up!
00:10:57Why am I being attacked?
00:11:04Ah!
00:11:05Fuck!
00:11:06Oh, shit!
00:11:09Wake! Wake!
00:11:10What are you doing in my room?
00:11:11What are you doing in my room?
00:11:12Relax.
00:11:13Take it in.
00:11:15Take it in.
00:11:19Oh, God.
00:11:20You gotta be out by the end of the day, okay?
00:11:22If you need...
00:11:23Fuck!
00:11:26Fuck it.
00:11:27I gotta get high.
00:11:28Please.
00:11:29Yes!
00:11:30It was just a matter of time.
00:11:32Bam!
00:11:33Goddamn.
00:11:34You know, a few years ago, we totally would have been friends.
00:11:37Like, in college, I was a full-on wild man.
00:11:40All my friends thought I was a legend.
00:11:42Oh, shit.
00:11:43Well, let's do some coke, bro.
00:11:44Oh, no, no, no.
00:11:45Just weed's fine.
00:11:46Oh, copy, copy.
00:11:47Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
00:11:49But I do want to get, like, very high.
00:11:52Not regular high, but, like, really high.
00:11:55How high?
00:11:56As high as I can possibly get.
00:11:58I'll do anything.
00:11:59You'll do anything.
00:12:00Yeah, anything.
00:12:01Fucking anything.
00:12:03Anything.
00:12:04Anything, dude.
00:12:05Come on.
00:12:07Come on.
00:12:09Let's go.
00:12:11Let's go.
00:12:12I am not fucking doing that.
00:12:13You said you'd do anything.
00:12:14I'm not doing that.
00:12:15Just repeat after me, okay?
00:12:16It's very simple.
00:12:17I'm not gay.
00:12:18I'm not gay.
00:12:19I'm not gay.
00:12:20I'm not gay.
00:12:21So then you're good to do it.
00:12:22Now suck it.
00:12:23Let's go.
00:12:24Dude, of all the pipes you got in this place,
00:12:25why do I gotta smoke out of this one?
00:12:26It's how I sort out my pretenders.
00:12:27No.
00:12:28Okay?
00:12:29If you can suck on Randy Cockfield's dick pipe,
00:12:30you're good with me.
00:12:31Let's go.
00:12:32Suck it.
00:12:33You like chicks.
00:12:34I know you have a chick.
00:12:35Just come on.
00:12:36Come close.
00:12:37This makes you my real friend.
00:12:38Come on.
00:12:39Get close.
00:12:45That's good.
00:12:46Let's go.
00:12:47I know you're good, man.
00:12:48That's it.
00:12:49That's it.
00:12:50Go on.
00:12:51No, no, no.
00:12:52Delete that.
00:12:53No, no, no.
00:12:54Delete that shit.
00:12:55I need more followers, bro.
00:12:56Dude, I have a job.
00:12:57I have a girlfriend.
00:12:58Delete that shit.
00:13:00Ah.
00:13:02Oh my God.
00:13:06Whoa.
00:13:11Not good.
00:13:12Not good.
00:13:13All the time and smoke that dick
00:13:36I underestimated you for real
00:13:41Oh, yeah, thank you, man. I like hanging out with you, man. It's very fun
00:13:44If you want to hang harder, dude, check this shit out
00:13:46Look, man, look
00:13:48Check out what's in the box
00:13:51Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
00:13:52So you're like a drug addict
00:13:55No, no, look, I'm a drug connoisseur
00:13:57Yeah, mixing and matching the drugs
00:14:01Is precisely how you don't get addicted to the drugs
00:14:04Smart
00:14:05Yeah, you gotta mix and match
00:14:07That's really smart
00:14:07But there is one drug that I'm missing
00:14:09What's that?
00:14:11Dude, your fucking head is gonna spin when you see this shit
00:14:14We're talking about Flocka
00:14:16Flocka
00:14:17The drug is called Flocka
00:14:18Some are calling it the Insanity Drug
00:14:20The Insanity Drug
00:14:21It is described as the scariest drug in the world
00:14:24Way more powerful than heroin or cocaine
00:14:28It is a synthetic drug that will alter your state of mind
00:14:31Extreme delirium
00:14:32Raising body temperature and causing people to literally lose their mind
00:14:36Dude, you cannot do the Flocka, man
00:14:40Why not?
00:14:41It's a bad drug
00:14:42Yeah, fucking badass
00:14:43You can't do that in my house, man
00:14:45That's bad
00:14:46What's so bad about it?
00:14:47It's not even fucking in California yet
00:14:49Relax, dude
00:14:50All right, well, that's good
00:14:51That's good
00:14:51Yet
00:14:52No
00:14:52My friend Ben, he's this region's supplier
00:14:54He's bringing the shit over
00:14:56Dude, no
00:14:56It's a no, man
00:14:57I mean, I don't want that on my property
00:14:59If Sarah found out
00:15:00Oh, Sarah, you know
00:15:01It's fucking Sarah
00:15:02Sarah, Sarah, Sarah
00:15:04All right?
00:15:05You know what?
00:15:06Hey, fuck you, you fucking asshole
00:15:07You know what?
00:15:08You can't hang with me anyways, you little party pussy
00:15:09You know, spatch
00:15:10Get out of my place
00:15:11Yeah, I'll spatch, you fucking pathetic, crusty fuck
00:15:14Yeah, you can't even hang out in my lair, you piece of shit
00:15:18Hey, babe
00:15:22Maybe we can stop by the hardware store and get some lights for the gazebo
00:15:26Yeah, that'd be, yeah, that'd be, mm-hmm, great
00:15:30Did you have the talk with Randy today?
00:15:32I, yeah, yeah, well, yeah, more, yeah, more or less
00:15:35We had the talk, it got, it was serious
00:15:38And he's, so he's now, he's dedicated to finding a new place
00:15:41Blake
00:15:43Was that, yeah
00:15:44Are you okay?
00:15:45I'm good, yeah
00:15:46Yeah, I'm just, yeah, I'm, like, tired
00:15:48I'm kind of tired from, like, I didn't sleep that great
00:15:51You're high
00:15:52No, I'm not
00:15:54You're, I don't
00:15:54You're totally high
00:15:57You, he was smoking
00:15:59Mm-hmm
00:15:59And I may have breathed some in
00:16:01Just stop talking
00:16:02Okay
00:16:02Whoa, but I do think you should know
00:16:04There was a cloud
00:16:05Like a cloud
00:16:06Look, Blake, I asked you to go out there and do one thing
00:16:08Just get rid of the guy
00:16:09And instead you get baked with him
00:16:10No, I didn't
00:16:11I, I was, like, we were unwinding
00:16:14I was just unwinding
00:16:16Like, I'm, I've been stressed
00:16:17Oh, oh, you've, you've been stressed
00:16:20Mm-hmm
00:16:23You know, you know, I've been stressed too
00:16:24You know, teaching 48 second graders a day isn't easy
00:16:28Yeah, no, I know
00:16:30Do you really?
00:16:32Because, well, you go off to your skateboarding job every day
00:16:34And talk about things that nobody over 30 cares about
00:16:37I'm dealing with angry parents
00:16:38And trying to figure out how to pay for school supplies with zero budget
00:16:41And then I get to come home and deal with this shit
00:16:44I have students who are way more mature than you are
00:16:47I feel like that's kind of unfair
00:16:49I mean, I haven't, like, spoke to anything in, like, a long time
00:16:52She got you, man
00:16:57She's right
00:16:58What's happening, sweet pea?
00:17:09I think Blake's on drugs
00:17:11Again
00:17:12Good
00:17:13Then maybe the two of you should take a little break
00:17:15Or a long break
00:17:19Or a permanent break
00:17:20Dad, you're not helping
00:17:21I need some dad advice
00:17:25I gotta, I gotta go work this out
00:17:28You want to use my hotel room?
00:17:32What?
00:17:33I keep a hotel room
00:17:35For the last few months I've had a room in town
00:17:37You're welcome to
00:17:38Okay, no, no
00:17:39No, that's, yeah
00:17:40No problem
00:17:42Have you heard from Kip?
00:17:44Nope
00:17:55Fire in the fucking hole!
00:18:06Oh, shit!
00:18:07Woo!
00:18:15Dude
00:18:16Oh, what?
00:18:18I am not stoked to admit this, dude
00:18:20But we should turn it down on the turbo
00:18:22Oh, my God
00:18:22Do you need, like, medical attention or anything?
00:18:24Are you good?
00:18:25Come on, dude
00:18:26Yeah, sorry
00:18:26Just come with me
00:18:27Let's talk
00:18:28Yeah, sorry
00:18:28We just released that promotional video
00:18:30For the skatewear line
00:18:32And it's trending
00:18:32We got a shout-out on Kimmel last night
00:18:34All of our social media's kind of blowing up
00:18:36Plus
00:18:37That kid's mom
00:18:37She's not pressing charges
00:18:39Ah!
00:18:39Nice!
00:18:40Yeah, yeah
00:18:41And now you're exactly seven weeks out
00:18:43From being able to skateboard on public property
00:18:44Yeah
00:18:45Hey, dude
00:18:46You know I've enjoyed this
00:18:48Time to be intimate with my people, right?
00:18:51Oh, and everyone here loves having you around, Mr. Kapinski
00:18:54They
00:18:54Blakey Blake
00:18:55I have one rule
00:18:56You know this
00:18:58I'm not mister
00:18:59I'm damn well not sir
00:19:01Right
00:19:01Who am I?
00:19:02Your shred
00:19:03Yeah
00:19:03And why?
00:19:0536 skin grafts
00:19:07Zero real teeth
00:19:09And more fucking metal than you can shake a dick at
00:19:12Right
00:19:13And what's all that from?
00:19:15Shredding it so fucking hard
00:19:16That's right, man
00:19:17Fucking shredding
00:19:20I don't think I'll take it
00:19:20I don't think I'll take it
00:19:21I don't think I'll take it
00:19:22I don't think I'll take it
00:19:22No!
00:19:23No!
00:19:23Jesus!
00:19:24Fuck!
00:19:24Fuck!
00:19:25Fuck!
00:19:25Fuck!
00:19:26Fuck!
00:19:26Fuck!
00:19:27Fuck!
00:19:27Fuck!
00:19:28Fuck!
00:19:28Fuck!
00:19:29Fuck!
00:19:29Fuck!
00:19:30Fuck!
00:19:30Fuck!
00:19:31Fuck!
00:19:31Oh, yeah
00:19:32Why do I have to always hit a fucking stud?
00:19:34Because you are fucking shred, sir
00:19:36That's why
00:19:37That's right, man
00:19:38Fucking epic!
00:19:40Oh, yeah
00:19:41Let's take some skating
00:19:42Get her out of here
00:19:43Ah!
00:19:44Yo!
00:19:45Oh my god
00:19:46All right
00:19:47All right
00:19:48All right
00:19:52Isn't the architecture great?
00:19:54I mean, I could see myself getting married in this house
00:19:56Sarah Bear, I love you
00:19:57So I'm gonna tell you this as delicately as possible
00:20:01You could do so much better
00:20:03I love Blake
00:20:05He's amazing
00:20:06I mean, he's everything
00:20:07Listen, whatever you decide
00:20:09Know that I'll always have your back
00:20:10I just
00:20:11I always envisioned your life differently, you know?
00:20:13Like
00:20:14More like mine
00:20:15Where I have this job
00:20:16Where I don't do a lot of work
00:20:17But I make a lot of money
00:20:18I know
00:20:19And
00:20:20I know he's the one
00:20:22You know?
00:20:24You know
00:20:25Just like in college
00:20:26When you knew
00:20:28That you didn't like girls
00:20:30Seriously, don't use me right now
00:20:32If Blake heard you
00:20:33He would never stop hounding me for a threesome
00:20:35Shit, really?
00:20:37You know I'm totally down for that
00:20:39I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I
00:20:44Whoa
00:20:46Oh, shh
00:20:53Hey, Skippy
00:20:55What's up, boys?
00:20:56Meow
00:21:00Meow
00:21:01Me
00:21:02Jesus
00:21:03I thought I'd fucking get at
00:21:05Blake
00:21:06What the fuck
00:21:07Blake, there's a
00:21:08There's a goddamn muskrat on
00:21:10Help, Blake
00:21:16Looks like someone's off the market
00:21:18I mean, you're not married yet
00:21:19Yeah
00:21:20Right?
00:21:21No
00:21:22So what do you say we have one last office link?
00:21:24Holy shit
00:21:26Uh, I don't
00:21:27I don't think
00:21:28That we can do that
00:21:29Yeah
00:21:30No, if I
00:21:31Shit
00:21:32Come on
00:21:33What happened to fun Blake?
00:21:34No, he's right here
00:21:35I'm still super fun
00:21:36I just, you know, I'm serious with Sarah
00:21:37And you know
00:21:38You wanna shred me?
00:21:39I shouldn't
00:21:40You know, hey, hey, hey
00:21:41Let's just pause
00:21:42Let's take a beat
00:21:43Blakey Blake
00:21:44Whoa
00:21:45What the fuck are you doing?
00:21:47I'm not
00:21:48It's not what it looks like
00:21:49I
00:21:50Come on
00:21:51You're unbuckled
00:21:52Your fly's down
00:21:53Look, I don't know how she got the fly down
00:21:54That was all that happened
00:21:55It was a misunderstanding
00:21:56Bro man dude
00:21:57You
00:21:58Have a woman now
00:22:01You got me really worried about you
00:22:04I appreciate it
00:22:05I don't like it
00:22:06Got it
00:22:08Sorry
00:22:11Yep
00:22:17How was everything?
00:22:25Did you say your spinach was leafy?
00:22:27Look, I'm sorry
00:22:30I've been stressed with work
00:22:32Yeah, no, no
00:22:33I know
00:22:34I'm sorry
00:22:35Though, too
00:22:36Obviously
00:22:37I should be more sorry than you
00:22:38I mean
00:22:39The Randy situation is horrible
00:22:42But
00:22:43None of that really matters
00:22:45This is all that matters
00:22:46You and me
00:22:49I love you
00:22:50I love you, too
00:22:59I love you
00:23:00And
00:23:02I want
00:23:03To marry you
00:23:05I, um
00:23:06Don't actually have a ring
00:23:07But
00:23:08If I could do that
00:23:10I just
00:23:11Kind of arrived at this
00:23:12This
00:23:14This is a mean
00:23:15Mean joke
00:23:16No, I'm not joking
00:23:19I'm
00:23:20So serious
00:23:22You're like
00:23:23For real real
00:23:24Yeah
00:23:25We can do it here
00:23:26In this house
00:23:28What better way to
00:23:29Christen it
00:23:31Don't fuck with me
00:23:32I'm not fucking with you
00:23:33You guys, I just need a can opener
00:23:35No, I need a can opener
00:23:36I need just
00:23:37There is no chance
00:23:38You don't have one
00:23:39Is this a bad time?
00:23:40This is an extremely bad time
00:23:41Really?
00:23:42Yeah
00:23:43Did he drop your contact or something?
00:23:44No
00:23:45Oh shit, I'm sorry
00:23:46Yeah, yeah, yeah
00:23:47No, no, no, no, no
00:23:48You didn't say that again?
00:23:49Yeah, no, no, I came home
00:23:50And he had this amazing dinner laid out
00:23:51And he proposed
00:23:52And I'm
00:23:53I'm so excited, guys
00:23:54Don't do it
00:23:55Skateboard boy?
00:23:56Yes, yes, skateboard boy
00:23:57Yes
00:23:58Listen
00:23:59Forget what I said
00:24:00You absolutely need advice
00:24:02I know, dad, dad, dad, dad
00:24:03Your advice
00:24:04It was so helpful
00:24:05Don't do it
00:24:06It really just, you know
00:24:07Sealed the deal for us
00:24:08Come home
00:24:09I know, I'm so happy
00:24:10No, she's not
00:24:11It's perfect
00:24:13Hello
00:24:14Hi, how's it going?
00:24:16Blake
00:24:17Blake
00:24:18Hi, honey, congratulations
00:24:19Congratulations, honey
00:24:20Well, I can't wait to be a part of the family
00:24:22Listen, you
00:24:23I'm coming over
00:24:24Okay
00:24:25We're gonna be married couple in no time
00:24:26Well, we'll put some champagne on ice
00:24:28Hmm
00:24:31I think that went pretty well
00:24:33I do
00:24:34Yeah
00:24:35I think it went really well
00:24:50Yeah
00:24:53Yes
00:24:54Woo
00:24:55Woo
00:24:56Woo
00:24:57Woo
00:24:58Woo
00:24:59Woo
00:25:00Woo
00:25:01Woo
00:25:02Woo
00:25:03What's up, boo
00:25:04What's up, boo
00:25:05What's up, boo
00:25:06When I came home last night
00:25:10Woo
00:25:12Woo
00:25:13What's up, bitch
00:25:14Thanks, what's up, sweetie
00:25:16That's sweet
00:25:17Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho
00:25:19You wouldn't even talk to me
00:25:21You say I'm so crazy
00:25:24I'm so crazy
00:25:25I'm so excited
00:25:26I'm so excited
00:25:27I'm so excited
00:25:31I said I just wanna laugh, yeah.
00:25:34I just wanna laugh, yeah.
00:25:36I just wanna laugh, yeah.
00:25:38I'm so evaded.
00:25:39Yeah, I'm good.
00:25:40Give it to me, baby.
00:25:49Hey, buddy.
00:25:50Hey.
00:25:51Hey, buddy.
00:25:52What the hell are you doing?
00:25:54Oh, hey, Blake.
00:25:55You gotta shut this down right now.
00:25:56No, no, no, not till you get a shish kebab.
00:25:57Hey, Benny, give me a shish kebab.
00:25:58Try one.
00:25:59I don't want a shish kebab.
00:26:00That's rude, dude.
00:26:01It's not rude.
00:26:02This is rude.
00:26:03What is this, man?
00:26:04Well, I gotta introduce you.
00:26:05Everybody.
00:26:06Everybody listen up here, okay?
00:26:07This is Blake.
00:26:08This is house.
00:26:09And I just want everybody to know,
00:26:11he's our friend.
00:26:12He's our friend.
00:26:13He's our friend.
00:26:14Dude, say it.
00:26:15He's our friend.
00:26:16He's our friend.
00:26:17He's our friend.
00:26:18All right, man.
00:26:19Sarah's had enough.
00:26:20I've had enough.
00:26:21You gotta go, man.
00:26:22This is bad shit.
00:26:23I've already given everyone the three-minute warning,
00:26:24right, you guys?
00:26:25Yeah.
00:26:26I don't care.
00:26:27Do you know where I can get a straw for Michael?
00:26:29Oh, I don't know where you can get a straw.
00:26:32Can you put a top on, please?
00:26:33Okay.
00:26:34You little pussy bitch.
00:26:35Man, what?
00:26:36Pussy bitch, I'm respecting.
00:26:37Girl, you better not put no top on.
00:26:38Man, Blake, why you acting like a whole bitch?
00:26:40I'm not.
00:26:41I'm not.
00:26:42Don't laugh at that.
00:26:43Take the shot.
00:26:44Pull it especially for you.
00:26:45Have a good time.
00:26:46Enjoy life, man.
00:26:47Come on.
00:26:48Strike me.
00:26:49Let's go.
00:26:50Use the fucking party a long time ago.
00:26:52Now's your time.
00:26:53Yeah, well, all right.
00:26:54All right.
00:26:55If I do one shot, we...
00:26:56Oh, my God.
00:26:57Yeah!
00:26:58Oh, look at the hair.
00:27:00Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:27:01All right, Blake.
00:27:02Wait, wait, one more.
00:27:03One more, one more.
00:27:04No.
00:27:05Yes, yes, one more.
00:27:06One more, one more.
00:27:07Blake, Blake, Blake, Blake.
00:27:08One more.
00:27:09All right.
00:27:10Two, and that's it.
00:27:11Yes!
00:27:12Yeah!
00:27:13Woo!
00:27:14Get out of here.
00:27:16Oh, it's so cool.
00:27:18Like a fiery night.
00:27:20Running through the wind, a champion.
00:27:24Always resting on the line.
00:27:26I love pussy.
00:27:27It's about to turn a champion.
00:27:30A champion.
00:27:31Whoa.
00:27:32Whoa.
00:27:33Whoa.
00:27:34Whoa.
00:27:35Whoa.
00:27:36Whoa.
00:27:37Whoa.
00:27:38Whoa.
00:27:39Whoa.
00:27:40Whoa.
00:27:41Whoa.
00:27:46Can't hold us down, our blood is rage.
00:27:52Ready for the attack, we're breaking the cage.
00:27:59What's going on here?
00:28:01Oh, there we go.
00:28:02Right there.
00:28:03Hey.
00:28:04Hey.
00:28:05You the homeowner?
00:28:06No, no, no.
00:28:07I live in the guest house in the back.
00:28:08You throwing this party?
00:28:09I'm in the guest house.
00:28:10I'm actually moving out soon.
00:28:11Guest house?
00:28:12Yeah.
00:28:13I'm looking for a roommate if you know anyone.
00:28:14You know anyone?
00:28:15Oh.
00:28:16You know, it's funny you should say that,
00:28:17because my uncle has this building in the area, but...
00:28:20Holy shit.
00:28:21I gotta give you my number.
00:28:22What do you think?
00:28:23Ah.
00:28:24Oh, let me get you a beer.
00:28:25A beer.
00:28:26Whiskey.
00:28:27Beer.
00:28:28I wish I could.
00:28:29Oh, man.
00:28:30I'm on duty.
00:28:31I can't be drinking home.
00:28:32Copy.
00:28:33Copy.
00:28:34You.
00:28:35You know, I have to tell you something.
00:28:36You police officers very much underappreciated.
00:28:39I think you guys are fucking awesome.
00:28:41Think you got a bad rap?
00:28:42Sweet hug.
00:28:43Come in.
00:28:44What?
00:28:45Come on.
00:28:46No one ever hugs police officers.
00:28:47Well, that's true.
00:28:48Oh, this...
00:28:49Oh, that feels good.
00:28:50You're so stupid.
00:28:51Yeah.
00:28:52He was stupid.
00:28:53I knew we were supposed to be together.
00:28:58We're a team, man.
00:28:59What's your name?
00:29:00Officer Ford.
00:29:01No.
00:29:02Officer Ford.
00:29:03Officer Ford.
00:29:04Stop that.
00:29:05Carl.
00:29:06Holy shit.
00:29:07First name basis.
00:29:08What's your name?
00:29:09My name is Randy.
00:29:10Randy?
00:29:11Yeah, Randy Cockfield.
00:29:12Randy Cock...
00:29:13That's a cool boss.
00:29:14Yeah.
00:29:15That's great.
00:29:16It's just not cool.
00:29:17I mean, like, it's fun and stuff.
00:29:18I don't want to leave.
00:29:19You know, I want to stay back there.
00:29:20I can't get it.
00:29:21It's a nice neighborhood.
00:29:22Yeah, and it's very comfortable.
00:29:23So it's like I don't want to move out.
00:29:24You know what I mean?
00:29:25Hey, sir.
00:29:26I need you to evacuate the premises immediately.
00:29:28This party has been shut down.
00:29:29Oh, this is a section of my house.
00:29:30Oh, oh, this is your house.
00:29:31Yeah.
00:29:32Yeah.
00:29:33Welcome to the neighborhood, Mr. Renner.
00:29:34Now, the folks around here consider underage children.
00:29:36Oh, I don't want to stay back there.
00:29:37I can't get it.
00:29:38I can't get it.
00:29:39I can't get it.
00:29:40It's a nice neighborhood.
00:29:41Yeah, and it's very comfortable.
00:29:42So it's like I don't want to move out.
00:29:43You know what I mean?
00:29:44Hey, sir.
00:29:45I need you to evacuate the premises immediately.
00:29:47This party has been shut down.
00:29:48Oh, this is a section of my house.
00:29:50Oh, oh, this is your house.
00:29:53Yeah.
00:29:54Mm.
00:29:55Yeah.
00:29:56I'm here.
00:29:57Consider underage drinking and disturbing the peace.
00:30:00Mm.
00:30:01Not cool.
00:30:02And illegal.
00:30:03Illegal!
00:30:04Unbelievable.
00:30:05Ah!
00:30:06Illegal!
00:30:07Huh?
00:30:08Yeah.
00:30:09It's illegal.
00:30:10Okay.
00:30:11All right.
00:30:12Damn, you smell good, too.
00:30:13Get him away from me.
00:30:14Why you smell so good?
00:30:15Huh?
00:30:16Because he's a little white.
00:30:17Because he's a little white.
00:30:18What kind of man smells this good?
00:30:19What kind of man smells this good?
00:30:20Call me on my social media platforms, officer.
00:30:21What is it?
00:30:22Uh, at the Randy Cockfield.
00:30:23Dispatch, I got another asshole coming in.
00:30:25There's no way that call went in.
00:30:26There's no way you talk.
00:30:27Literally and figuratively, I got an asshole coming in.
00:30:33Come on.
00:30:34Hope you have a nice stay tonight.
00:30:49Just let me know if you need anything.
00:30:53What?
00:30:54Come with me.
00:30:55I'm gonna show you your room.
00:30:56Okay.
00:30:57He seems cool.
00:30:58He'll be cool.
00:30:59Oh, God.
00:31:04Be sure to call the front deck if you need anything.
00:31:07Wait, what the hell happened to our backyard?
00:31:20I don't know where you are, but you're not here.
00:31:23I've got the girls coming over to try on their dresses, and you know what?
00:31:26I...
00:31:27I don't know.
00:31:28I don't know.
00:31:29I don't know if I can go through this wedding anymore.
00:31:32I even knocked on Randy's fucking door.
00:31:38What happened?
00:31:39What is this?
00:31:40Somebody put dicks everywhere.
00:31:43Some asshole turned our entire property into a bag of dicks.
00:31:52Like...
00:31:54Where are you?
00:32:08I don't even know where he is.
00:32:09What if he's, like, dead in a ditch somewhere, or...
00:32:12I don't know.
00:32:13Maybe he got scared and just left me.
00:32:16I'd call that a good fucking day.
00:32:18There's a shit ton of dicks in your backyard.
00:32:20I'd say that's a bad omen.
00:32:22There aren't that many dicks.
00:32:25You can fix this.
00:32:26It's not that bad.
00:32:28It's a dick-splosion.
00:32:30I don't know.
00:32:31I always liked Blake.
00:32:32He's, like, one of those good guys.
00:32:34He'll be back.
00:32:35Sometimes I feel like I'm pushing him,
00:32:38and maybe this isn't...
00:32:39I'm just gonna call it how it is.
00:32:40You need to toss that boy out like a used tampon.
00:32:42Jesus, Taylor.
00:32:43What is wrong with you?
00:32:44I'm serious.
00:32:45You could do so much better than him.
00:32:47Blake is a fucking cocksucker, crusty, dumb motherfucker.
00:32:51Blake?
00:32:52Blake?
00:32:53Are you okay?
00:32:54I'm fine.
00:32:55What do you mean fine?
00:32:56What does fine mean?
00:32:57Get out here, you fucking piece of shit!
00:32:59Come out, come out, wherever you are, warriors!
00:33:02Huh?
00:33:03You got me fucking arrested.
00:33:04No, you got you arrested.
00:33:06Arrested?
00:33:07Yes.
00:33:08I'll explain in a second.
00:33:09If you think about it, Blake,
00:33:10none of this shit is actually my fault.
00:33:11What are you talking about, you fucking psycho?
00:33:14You burned down my gazebo!
00:33:15No, no, no.
00:33:16Look, you burned down your gazebo, okay?
00:33:18Right, dickface?
00:33:19Blake, were you partying with her?
00:33:20Was it taken out of context?
00:33:21Tell him.
00:33:22It's not like that.
00:33:23I...
00:33:24I got a little drunk.
00:33:25Just stop.
00:33:26Just stop.
00:33:27Stop talking.
00:33:28Done.
00:33:29I can't!
00:33:30Done, done.
00:33:31I can't do this!
00:33:32It looks like you have a lot more to worry about
00:33:34than me, motherfucker, huh?
00:33:35Princess Sarah is pi-i-i-ist,
00:33:40which means you ain't getting all pussy tonight.
00:33:42Shut the fuck up!
00:33:43Alright?
00:33:44We just wanted a house!
00:33:45We went and looked at 17 houses,
00:33:47and we found this one,
00:33:49and finally Sarah was happy,
00:33:51and so was I,
00:33:52and then fucking you!
00:33:57I guess you're not my friend,
00:33:59you're not my friend,
00:34:00you're not my friend, dude!
00:34:01Shut the fuck up!
00:34:02No!
00:34:03Yeah!
00:34:04Yeah!
00:34:05Yeah!
00:34:06Yeah!
00:34:07You know what underage drinking
00:34:08and assault and battery have in common?
00:34:10Renner?
00:34:11They're both illegal!
00:34:12That's right!
00:34:13Illegal!
00:34:14Hey!
00:34:15Are you okay?
00:34:16No!
00:34:17I can't believe you hit Randy!
00:34:18You drugged me!
00:34:19You know what?
00:34:20Apologize to Randy!
00:34:21Yeah!
00:34:22I apologize to Randy!
00:34:23Yeah!
00:34:24Oh my god!
00:34:25Hey!
00:34:26Hey!
00:34:27Hey!
00:34:28Hey!
00:34:29Hey!
00:34:30Hey!
00:34:31Hey!
00:34:32Hey!
00:34:33Hey!
00:34:34Hey!
00:34:35Hey!
00:34:36Hey!
00:34:37Hey!
00:34:38Hey!
00:34:39Hey!
00:34:40Hey!
00:34:41Hey!
00:34:42Hey!
00:34:43Hey!
00:34:44I apologize!
00:34:45I will not apologize
00:34:46Tell him to kiss me.
00:34:47Yeah!
00:34:48Kiss Randy!
00:34:49Go ahead!
00:34:50Go ahead!
00:34:51Go ahead!
00:34:52What the fuck?
00:34:53You gonna kiss me?
00:34:54I don´t know!
00:34:55I can't believe this.
00:34:56I can't believe this I am back here again
00:34:57but you trust fun kids!
00:34:58I am not a trust fun kid.
00:34:59Yeah!
00:35:00Like you can afford this.
00:35:01Just sit there and shut the fuck up.
00:35:04Oh my god, I'm so sorry Randy.
00:35:06My head hurts.
00:35:07Did he hit you good?
00:35:08Yeah he punched me under there
00:35:09and I was on my dating app, Chubby Chasers
00:35:11And I was looking for some bats in this fucking-
00:35:13I'm one chubby chaser.
00:35:15I know. Really?
00:35:16I love big bitches, man.
00:35:20Have you met anybody?
00:35:21Can we go?
00:35:22Hey, hey, hey.
00:35:23I'm the captain now.
00:35:27We should watch that movie night.
00:35:30All right, Randy.
00:35:32Thank you, officer.
00:35:33This is war.
00:35:33Carl, take care.
00:35:35Shut your fucking face.
00:35:39Okay?
00:35:39Great, yeah.
00:35:40Just sit back and shut up.
00:35:42I know your type of...
00:35:43I hate you.
00:35:45Damn it.
00:35:46I gotta take this motherfucking...
00:35:48I'd be lucky I didn't get this out.
00:35:49Yeah.
00:35:50Beat your ass with this.
00:35:51Well, here's your belongings.
00:35:54I need you to sign right here.
00:36:00Where can we expect to see you again?
00:36:02Never again.
00:36:05Fantastic.
00:36:06We'll keep the same room for you.
00:36:08I'll get you a good roommate.
00:36:11Really nice.
00:36:12Okay, all right.
00:36:13Terrific.
00:36:14Look, I'm really sorry about all this dumb shit.
00:36:16Lying to you, partying, Randy.
00:36:18Look, look, it's not about Randy.
00:36:20It's about you and your behavior.
00:36:21This really has got to stop.
00:36:23I know.
00:36:24Well, well, well.
00:36:25We meet again, Mr. Renner.
00:36:28Look, I'm just...
00:36:29His temper, his anger issues.
00:36:32This has to be a joke.
00:36:34There's no joke here, okay?
00:36:36You are no longer allowed to be within 100 feet of Mr. Cockfield.
00:36:41You may not contact him verbally or by the Internet.
00:36:45I mean, is there anything we can do?
00:36:47You could contact the city, but the laws for tenants are pretty strict.
00:36:50He's not a tenant.
00:36:51He's a squatter.
00:36:52And how am I supposed to keep 100 feet away from him in my own house?
00:36:56Good luck.
00:36:57Bye.
00:36:58Goodbye.
00:36:59Sergeant.
00:37:00Goodbye.
00:37:01Why is everyone here like this?
00:37:03Don't, don't, don't.
00:37:04You're fucked.
00:37:05It is so on, you bitch!
00:37:24Blake, I thought you were my friend, but I guess not.
00:37:27What did you say?
00:37:28I said you have skinny, bony bitches.
00:37:32That's it.
00:37:32That's all from me.
00:37:33I just want to stand and stare tonight.
00:37:36I interrupted the whole flow.
00:37:38I can't believe I let you come here and suck my dick pipe.
00:37:41That dick pipe is a gross exaggeration of what you're working with, my man.
00:37:45Yeah, what the fuck ever, you little waspy bitch.
00:37:49You stay on your side and I'll stay on my side.
00:37:52Warriors, come out and play, yay.
00:37:55They're all my side.
00:37:57Good night.
00:37:58Good night.
00:37:59Go back to Marin County.
00:38:03No.
00:38:16I'm kicking him out.
00:38:18This is warm.
00:38:18Don't start this.
00:38:19I can't handle the stress.
00:38:21What?
00:38:21You let him walk all over us?
00:38:22No fucking way.
00:38:23I'm serious.
00:38:24I don't like this side of you.
00:38:25Well, you haven't seen anything yet.
00:38:27Thank you very much.
00:38:27What are you doing?
00:38:35Dance with me, dude.
00:38:37Dance with me, dude.
00:38:41This book's in Latin, bro.
00:38:43I can't read Latin.
00:38:46Are you happy?
00:38:47No.
00:38:47He'll be gone in a few days.
00:38:56What's he going to do without power?
00:38:58I don't like this.
00:38:59Come on.
00:39:00What?
00:39:01No one says I have to pay for his electricity.
00:39:04He's fucked.
00:39:05What the fuck is that?
00:39:20Sounds like a helicopter's out there.
00:39:28Cutting off the power's amateur hour, huh?
00:39:30I fucking hate this guy.
00:39:31I'm too powerful for you, bro.
00:39:34Too motherfucking strong.
00:39:36Look at that shit.
00:39:39This is my side.
00:39:40That's your side.
00:39:41You stay over there, little pussy.
00:39:44Who's got some beer, huh?
00:39:52Hey, Benny.
00:39:54Randy can wobble, but he can't what?
00:39:56He can't fall down.
00:39:59That's fantastic, bro.
00:40:00Yeah.
00:40:00Hey, can I leave?
00:40:02No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, dude.
00:40:04No, no, no, no, no.
00:40:07Arr!
00:40:07Dad!
00:40:37I can't help myself.
00:41:07When I'm with ya, something takes me over like a drug, losing all my senses when I'm with ya, morning...
00:41:21Looks like all we got left is the interview and then the launch party and we should be squared
00:41:25away.
00:41:26You doing okay, Blakey?
00:41:27Yeah, I'm good.
00:41:28I'm great.
00:41:29You're sweating like a fucking pig, Holmes.
00:41:31Did you drive to work today or something?
00:41:34That's hot.
00:41:35Someone's looking out.
00:41:36Oh.
00:41:37Oh, hi, ma'am.
00:41:38I think I got your package.
00:41:41You got a package for me?
00:41:43Yes.
00:41:44The package.
00:41:45That's my job.
00:41:46You want to deliver your package?
00:41:47Oh my god.
00:41:48Does this work?
00:41:49Oh, that feels good.
00:41:50That's good for my back.
00:41:51All right.
00:41:52That's good.
00:41:53I gotta go back to work to deliver some packages.
00:41:55Please get my fuck off me.
00:41:56I have a job.
00:41:57Ma'am, I have a job.
00:41:58Yeah, you're good.
00:41:59Here's a fun Blakey right now.
00:42:00Oh, yeah.
00:42:01Oh, my god.
00:42:02What is this material?
00:42:04It's like rayon or some polycotton or something?
00:42:05It's amazing.
00:42:06I wish the whole world was this fabric.
00:42:07Wait.
00:42:08Wait.
00:42:09Are you a Molly or something?
00:42:10Molly?
00:42:11No, no, no.
00:42:12I would never even be able to get my...
00:42:13Oh, my god.
00:42:14I'm sorry.
00:42:15Nope.
00:42:16This is bad.
00:42:17Wait.
00:42:18This is great.
00:42:19You're great.
00:42:20Wait.
00:42:21Wait.
00:42:22Wait.
00:42:23Wait.
00:42:24Wait.
00:42:25Wait.
00:42:26Wait.
00:42:27Wait.
00:42:28Wait.
00:42:29Wait.
00:42:30Wait.
00:42:31Wait.
00:42:32Wait.
00:42:33Wait.
00:42:34Wait.
00:42:35Wait.
00:42:36Wait.
00:42:37Wait.
00:42:38I'm on drugs.
00:42:39No, no.
00:42:40I'm on drugs.
00:42:41I'm sorry.
00:42:42Sorry, sorry.
00:42:43Hello?
00:42:44Sarah.
00:42:45We've been drugged.
00:42:46What?
00:42:47I think that asshole...
00:42:48Never mind.
00:42:49Just don't go out of the house and don't drink the water.
00:42:50Just go to the bedroom.
00:42:51I'll be right there.
00:42:52Yeah.
00:42:53Yeah.
00:42:54Okay.
00:42:55Okay.
00:42:56What's wrong?
00:42:57You gotta...
00:42:58You gotta...
00:42:59You gotta go.
00:43:00No, you gotta go.
00:43:01Uh-uh.
00:43:02You gotta go.
00:43:03Come on.
00:43:04No, I don't wanna go.
00:43:05You gotta go.
00:43:06All right, boy.
00:43:07Go!
00:43:08I can't help myself.
00:43:09No.
00:43:10Want nobody else.
00:43:11No.
00:43:12You know that you...
00:43:13You know that you're mad!
00:43:35Blake?
00:43:36Mm.
00:43:37Blake?
00:43:38What the actual fuck?
00:43:41Oh.
00:43:42I'm late for work.
00:43:43I'm late for work.
00:43:47Hi, Mom.
00:43:48Sorry.
00:43:49We just moved in.
00:43:57Whoa!
00:43:58Hey, hi.
00:43:59Can I tell you something honestly?
00:44:00Yeah, please.
00:44:01You are fucking fired.
00:44:02What happened?
00:44:03That walking foreskin got me fired.
00:44:04No, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, do not hit him again.
00:44:14I'm not gonna hit him.
00:44:15I'm not even gonna touch him.
00:44:16I'm just gonna lightly, lightly pummel him until he's dead.
00:44:19No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me, okay?
00:44:22It's not worth it.
00:44:23We talked about this.
00:44:24You were gonna leave your job anyways, so, you know, I can float us until you find something else.
00:44:27That's not the point.
00:44:28It's not worth it.
00:44:29Let it go.
00:44:30We'll get through this, okay?
00:44:31The wedding party's coming tomorrow night for dinner, and I do not need this crazy on top of all the other crazy.
00:44:35I cannot let him get away with this.
00:44:37Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, just listen to me.
00:44:39Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:44:40Take a deep breath, take a deep.
00:44:41Deep bath and soak, and I'll get some epsom salts, and we can just talk it out, yeah?
00:44:47Okay.
00:44:48That'd be great.
00:44:49Yeah?
00:44:50That'd be really great.
00:44:52Okay.
00:45:01No job.
00:45:02It's actually an advantage.
00:45:04It means you have all the time in the world.
00:45:06Well, now...
00:45:10Me too, motherfucker.
00:45:21Oh, I'm gonna run away.
00:45:22I can't see you in the world.
00:45:23I've been doing a dream.
00:45:24Well, first of all, I am leaving here.
00:45:27Yeah, I know you have to go to my next house.
00:45:32I know you're good.
00:45:33I can't go to my next house.
00:45:35I can't go to my next house with a plan.
00:45:36I can't go to my next house.
00:45:37I can't go into my next house.
00:45:38Oh, my God.
00:45:39I can't go up and find you.
00:45:40you motherfucker hey Randy buddy oh my god I totally forgot to tell you they're bug bombing
00:46:03the house today Randy is solid and he can't get up yeah man it's just oh it's so crazy with the
00:46:11wedding I totally forgot you were in there you're an asshole you should know they're using very heavy
00:46:18duty chemicals apparently all your bodily functions will go off at once oh no oh oh no
00:46:26just repeat after me it's not gay it's not gay again even more it's not gay it's okay Randy it's
00:46:49okay it's a trust exercise just close your eyes and trust me dude
00:46:55piece of shit I'm gonna get you renter
00:47:19Blake why is there a meth lab in our backyard I'm going in there to get all that pack rat shit
00:47:44and I'm gonna move it so that he has to take his rat hole elsewhere now we can have the rehearsal
00:47:52dinner back here I'll fix up the gazebo and we can have the wedding back here all while that
00:47:57fucker's not around to mess with us oh I'm gonna have my gravy I love you I love you too I honestly
00:48:09love you so much
00:48:16I
00:48:18I
00:48:20I
00:48:22I
00:48:24I
00:48:26I
00:48:28I
00:48:29I
00:48:30I
00:48:31I
00:48:32I
00:48:33I
00:48:34I
00:48:35I
00:48:36I
00:48:37I
00:48:38I
00:48:39I
00:49:05I
00:49:06I
00:49:07I
00:49:08I
00:49:09Cheers, you guys. Thank you so much.
00:49:12Cheers.
00:49:13Cheers.
00:49:14Cheers.
00:49:15Cheers.
00:49:16Cheers.
00:49:17Cheers.
00:49:18Cheers.
00:49:19Cheers.
00:49:20Mm.
00:49:21Weddings are the worst.
00:49:22Yeah.
00:49:23I'm sure your wedding's gonna be fine, but...
00:49:25I hate weddings.
00:49:26Mm-hmm.
00:49:27Yeah.
00:49:28I'm gonna go to yours, but it'll be all right.
00:49:29I appreciate that. I appreciate it.
00:49:30Mainly, it's, uh, her dad, uh, what's the word?
00:49:33Like, he hates me. He hates me a ton.
00:49:35Okay, Blake's exaggerating. He doesn't hate you.
00:49:37He just...
00:49:39He's...
00:49:40Not too sure about you.
00:49:42Oh, come on. Who could hate those sad goat eyes?
00:49:45Now, Sarah's dad isn't so bad.
00:49:47Love me, right, Sarah?
00:49:48Uh, Kip, he... he... he did.
00:49:51Yeah, he really loves you a ton.
00:49:53Good old Douglas, man. He's crazy. I love that dude.
00:49:57Everybody took us to the beach house?
00:49:59Oh, the beach house, too!
00:50:01Oh, no!
00:50:02Oh, man.
00:50:03That sounds awesome. That sounds really awesome.
00:50:05That's awesome.
00:50:06I've seen pictures, but I've never been.
00:50:08Yeah.
00:50:09Yeah, the very second he met me,
00:50:11he called me Kip,
00:50:12then he said,
00:50:13never mind,
00:50:14and then he said, I hate you.
00:50:15Here we motherfuckin' go.
00:50:23Fuckin' flock of us.
00:50:25Oh!
00:50:27I have a bitch.
00:50:28It's a bitch.
00:50:29I need to eat you,
00:50:32I need to kill him.
00:50:33I need to go.
00:50:35I need to kill you.
00:50:37Ha ha ha ha
00:51:07Well, that's the last of the shots.
00:51:19With any luck, you guys will all be fine.
00:51:23Except him.
00:51:24He's not going anywhere.
00:51:25Aw, man, that's bullshit.
00:51:27It is.
00:51:28What do you mean, usually?
00:51:30What if the medicine doesn't work?
00:51:32Well, then you're fucked.
00:51:33Basically.
00:51:34It's a fucking flock of possum.
00:51:38Everybody else got the rabies shots already.
00:51:40Do you think we should tell them that it may not work?
00:51:43Can we keep it from them for a little bit?
00:51:45Um, Mr. Renner, um, what exactly did this to your guests?
00:51:52Nothing.
00:51:53I have no idea.
00:51:54It could have been absolutely anything.
00:51:57Yeah.
00:51:58Mr. Renner, I'd advise you not to take the law into your own hands.
00:52:02Of course not.
00:52:03Because that would be illegal.
00:52:05Very illegal.
00:52:09Okay, Bonnie and Clyde.
00:52:10You have a good evening.
00:52:12Will do.
00:52:13Thank you so much for stopping by.
00:52:15So good to see you.
00:52:16Oh, I hate you both.
00:52:20I think we've got to postpone the wedding.
00:52:22No.
00:52:22No.
00:52:30I think he's going to die.
00:52:31I know.
00:52:33Don't need no fireworks for us to make it work.
00:52:57When a flame out shines the sun.
00:53:05I will give you $100,000 if we turn around right now.
00:53:08We already talked about this.
00:53:09All right.
00:53:09All right.
00:53:10All right.
00:53:12Hey, hi, hi.
00:53:13Good to see you.
00:53:15Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of God to join this man and this
00:53:24woman in holy matrimony, to bind their hearts as one forever and ever.
00:53:32And ever.
00:53:34Ever.
00:53:34Do you have a mint?
00:53:37Do you have a mint?
00:53:37Do you have a mint?
00:53:38I'm not in the sense of her.
00:53:39Shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:53:40What are you doing?
00:53:42What?
00:53:42What?
00:53:43It's funny.
00:53:44It's funny.
00:53:45It's funny.
00:53:45It's funny.
00:53:46It's funny.
00:53:47It's funny.
00:53:47Blake, do you take Soria?
00:54:03Sarah.
00:54:03Sarah.
00:54:04Whatever.
00:54:06Hmm?
00:54:07As your wife.
00:54:09Yes, I do.
00:54:11Do you take blame?
00:54:15Blake.
00:54:16Yeah.
00:54:17It's Blake.
00:54:18Do you take this guy to be your husband?
00:54:20Yes, I do.
00:54:22And now, by the power vested in this state and this country,
00:54:28I now pronounce you husband and wife.
00:54:31You may kiss the bride or whatever.
00:54:35Good luck.
00:54:36May God have mercy on yourselves.
00:54:38And you can make it last
00:54:44Because, baby, we're a slow-burning fire
00:54:51Through the ashes of time I'll be yours, you'll be mine
00:55:06That here we make more ever die
00:55:10Because we're a slow-burning fire
00:55:15Well, Matt, you finally did it.
00:55:17Proud of you.
00:55:18Took one for the team.
00:55:19Your life is completely over.
00:55:21I'm so proud of you.
00:55:23Thank you so much.
00:55:24You're welcome.
00:55:24Listen, if there's ever a chance that you're gonna get anal, my friend, it's tonight.
00:55:29We'll see, yeah.
00:55:30What's up, Mr. Reb?
00:55:31How's it going?
00:55:32Looking good, buddy.
00:55:33Jason Statham good.
00:55:34Stop talking.
00:55:36Get out of my airspace.
00:55:37Let's go.
00:55:38Unreal.
00:55:40Blake.
00:55:42Mr. Masters.
00:55:43Or I guess I should say Dad.
00:55:45Oh, you have surprised me.
00:55:50And those who have tried will tell you
00:55:52It is not an easy thing to surprise.
00:55:55Wait, wait, come on!
00:55:57Janus!
00:55:57Angela, you should know better than ever sneak up.
00:56:01Never sneak up on a man.
00:56:04Me especially.
00:56:07She's a wonderful woman.
00:56:09I knew her since she was...
00:56:12She's always been that tall.
00:56:13And she makes a great honey-baked ham.
00:56:15Blake.
00:56:17Oh, God.
00:56:18Here's the deal.
00:56:20No one's done it.
00:56:22You brought my daughter to the altar.
00:56:24Yeah.
00:56:25Look, I want you to know...
00:56:26Blake, we just, uh, we need you for some photos.
00:56:31I'll be there in a sec.
00:56:34Mr. D.
00:56:35Ladies and gentlemen, would you join me, please, in raising a glass to my love?
00:56:58The kind of passion that your mother and I have shared for the last 35 years.
00:57:05Not a day goes by that I do not look across the room and makes everything okay, because she's so beautiful, so classy, so attentive, I guess, and so hungry.
00:57:25What do you do have? What do you do?
00:57:27Fridge of glass. Your touch is fantastic.
00:57:30Hey, Douglas, what's Bev been drinking?
00:57:33Olive a double.
00:57:34Oh, fuck!
00:57:35I'll pour it for you a little bit later.
00:57:37You want to slow it down?
00:57:38He's cute.
00:57:41Everybody, I want to suck his cock!
00:57:45Raise your glasses, everyone!
00:57:47To suck his cock!
00:57:52The actual fuck.
00:57:54I think your mom's on Molly.
00:57:55That's what the actual fuck is.
00:57:56Really nice.
00:57:57What the hell's wrong with you?
00:57:59Stop. Stop.
00:58:00Get out of here.
00:58:01All of our guests are acting really weird.
00:58:08Yeah, right?
00:58:09Yeah.
00:58:09Listen, Jimmy!
00:58:12What the fuck?
00:58:13What the fuck?
00:58:14Oh, my God!
00:58:22Oh, my God!
00:58:22Oh, my God!
00:58:22Oh, my God!
00:58:23Oh, my God!
00:58:23Oh, my God!
00:58:24Oh, my God!
00:58:25Oh, my God!
00:58:25Oh, my God!
00:58:26Oh, my God!
00:58:26Oh, my God!
00:58:27Oh, my God!
00:58:52Oh, my God!
00:58:53Oh, that's what he got there.
00:58:57What are you doing, Ben?
00:59:00I am so happy you're not my dad.
00:59:03What the fuck is going on?
00:59:06They're out of control.
00:59:08The house is ruined, the wedding's ruined.
00:59:10He's here. I know he's here somewhere.
00:59:13This has Randy written all over it.
00:59:16Yeah.
00:59:18Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.
00:59:26Oopsies.
00:59:28Oh, man.
00:59:30Holy shit. What the fuck?
00:59:33What the fuck did you do, Randy?
00:59:35I gave your party the whole box, brother.
00:59:37I gave him the whole motherfucking box.
00:59:39I'm gonna fucking kill you.
00:59:41Oh, shit.
00:59:48No!
00:59:50Oh, shit.
00:59:55It's over.
00:59:57I couldn't feel more secure.
01:00:05Oh, Lord.
01:00:08Oh!
01:00:11Oh, Lord, what a hell of a show.
01:00:16Oh, Lord, what a hell of a show.
01:00:18Every time we're together,
01:00:22we've got you moving like lightning.
01:00:25I'm such a beautiful fever.
01:00:29Never hear myself to me.
01:00:35Oh, Lord, what a hell of a nose.
01:00:39How much I love, how much it shows
01:00:42Oh, my, I'm living in the world
01:00:47I was living without you
01:00:53I'm so sorry
01:00:56It's fine
01:00:58It's fine
01:00:59It's fine
01:00:59It's fine
01:01:00It's fine
01:01:01It's fine
01:01:01It's all over now
01:01:03Nearly over
01:01:06All right, look out.
01:01:16Man, if that shit was on pay-per-view,
01:01:19we'd be fucking millionaires right now, for real.
01:01:21Shut the fuck up! You never shut the fuck up!
01:01:25I was trying to be your friend, okay?
01:01:27I was being nice to you and being generous,
01:01:30and you were miserable.
01:01:31Oh, my God, of course I was...
01:01:32...in our relationship, okay?
01:01:33So what we need to do as a team, bro, as a team...
01:01:36Do not fucking touch me!
01:01:38We need to move forward.
01:01:39Don't touch me!
01:01:40We should move forward.
01:01:41There is no moving forward!
01:01:42I'm not looking in the rear-view mirror.
01:01:43There's not a rear-view mirror!
01:01:44There is not a fucking rear-view mirror!
01:01:45You're a fucking loser!
01:01:46You're a loser, dude, all right?
01:01:48You're 50 years old, and you live in a fucking guest house.
01:01:50Whatever, dude.
01:01:51You are fucking delusional, man.
01:01:53Everything around you turns to shit.
01:01:59Mr. Maraner.
01:02:00Is it her?
01:02:02Ma'am.
01:02:03Hey, are you okay?
01:02:06Just stop.
01:02:07I came to pay your bail.
01:02:09Okay.
01:02:10No, what about my bail, please?
01:02:12No, I'm not paying your fucking bail.
01:02:14I came to pay your bail, I paid your bail, and that's it.
01:02:18What do you mean?
01:02:20I mean, that's it.
01:02:22You and me, we're done.
01:02:25We can't do this.
01:02:26We can't do this.
01:02:27Well, Sarah, listen.
01:02:29Oof.
01:02:30That's not all.
01:02:31Look, how many more signs do we need?
01:02:31You know, if it wasn't this, it'd be something in one, two, five years from now.
01:02:35Mm-hmm.
01:02:36Uh, uh, listen to me, I, that's not-
01:02:39Look, I am listening, I'm finally listening to you.
01:02:43But, don't you love me?
01:02:47Love isn't the issue here.
01:02:48Yes, it is.
01:02:49It's the only issue.
01:02:50I can't.
01:02:51Just please, just don't make this any worse.
01:02:53Yeah.
01:02:54Wait, just give me another chance.
01:02:55I'm pregnant.
01:02:59Okay, that's fine.
01:03:00That's great.
01:03:01I mean, now the plan is you get me out of here and we-
01:03:04No, no.
01:03:05The plan is I'm going to stay at my parents' house and do not come and try to see me because
01:03:09my dad said he's gonna kill you and I really think he means it this time.
01:03:16I gotta, I gotta go.
01:03:19Wow.
01:03:20Wow.
01:03:21She's pregnant, man.
01:03:22That's, that's amazing.
01:03:23Shut the fuck up.
01:03:24I, I just think that's-
01:03:25Shut the, you have to shut the fuck up.
01:03:30Gotcha.
01:03:31Sad.
01:03:32Okay.
01:03:33Ha!
01:03:34Sarge!
01:03:35Ah!
01:03:36Get in here.
01:03:37This is him, what's up?
01:03:39I've been watching you for some time.
01:03:51Can't stop staring at those ocean eyes.
01:03:57Oh my God, he is so cute.
01:04:02I'm gonna do this on my own.
01:04:04You are not on your own.
01:04:06Home.
01:04:14Hello?
01:04:15Hey, Blake.
01:04:16It's Edna from High and Polk and Realty.
01:04:18Hello, Edna.
01:04:19I just need to go over a few things in person before we put the house back on the market.
01:04:23Can you meet me at the house Saturday at noon?
01:04:26Great.
01:04:27Thanks, Edna.
01:04:28I'll see you Saturday.
01:04:29Okay.
01:04:30See you then.
01:04:30Bye.
01:04:31Bye.
01:05:00Bye.
01:05:05Jesus.
01:05:15The house looks amazing.
01:05:17You've been busy.
01:05:18No, no, I didn't.
01:05:19I didn't do any of this.
01:05:20What?
01:05:24Who did?
01:05:26Truce, truce.
01:05:27Piece, piece.
01:05:28Truce, truce.
01:05:29Are you fucking kidding me?
01:05:30Look, look, look.
01:05:31Just give me five minutes of your time.
01:05:32Just five minutes.
01:05:33And I'll be gone.
01:05:34You'll never see my face again, I promise.
01:05:35Please.
01:05:36I'll give you 30 seconds, you fucking asshole.
01:05:38Look, it's really important to me that a family lives in this house.
01:05:41Not me, not anyone else, but a family.
01:05:45And I want it to be your family, so...
01:05:47You guys, please, just...
01:05:49Just don't put the house in the market just yet.
01:05:51Please.
01:05:54You did this how?
01:05:57I sold Napoleon's hat.
01:05:59A Napoleon hat paid for all this.
01:06:01No, not a Napoleon's hat.
01:06:04Fucking Napoleon's hat, dude.
01:06:06I don't understand.
01:06:07No, that stuff in the cardboard boxes in the back, okay?
01:06:10That was my dad's stuff.
01:06:11It was my inheritance.
01:06:12I found out it was worth millions.
01:06:14Dude, I'm a fucking millionaire on top of it.
01:06:19What is it?
01:06:20The main reason why they want to get rid of this house and let it go is because this...
01:06:28This is my family's house.
01:06:30My childhood home.
01:06:31I actually grew up here my whole life.
01:06:33When my parents both died, they left it to me.
01:06:35So, I just moved into the guest house and I had no other plan but to stall the sale.
01:06:44So when you guys came around, I just...
01:06:46I fucking freaked out, man.
01:06:48Yeah.
01:06:49Yeah, you really did.
01:06:50I'm ready to let it go, okay?
01:06:52And just give you guys my house.
01:06:54To start a family.
01:06:55Here, your family.
01:06:56For reals.
01:06:58You're my friend, dudes.
01:07:00You guys are my friend, dudes.
01:07:01Please.
01:07:02And I have one other thing that I want to show you guys.
01:07:05Just one other thing.
01:07:06Is that going to be gross?
01:07:08No, come here.
01:07:12Oh, God.
01:07:13Oh, my God.
01:07:25I don't even know what to say.
01:07:27Well, this is it, guys.
01:07:28This is where you're going to start your new life.
01:07:30In Randy Cockfield's childhood home.
01:07:35I...
01:07:36And, Blake, when you bring Sarah into the field, what are you going to do with her?
01:07:41What are you going to do with her, man?
01:07:43Don't.
01:07:44Come on.
01:07:45Say it.
01:07:46Don't spoil it.
01:07:47Give me his cock!
01:07:49That's right.
01:07:50Yeah.
01:07:51Is this beautiful or what, guys?
01:07:52I mean, come on.
01:07:53All right, brother.
01:07:54Thanks, man.
01:07:57Sarah.
01:08:03All right.
01:08:04Too long of a hug.
01:08:05Too long.
01:08:08No, no, no.
01:08:09Okay.
01:08:11Great.
01:08:30And just like that, he's gone.
01:08:34There you go.
01:08:35You're into the cracker?
01:08:37Yeah.
01:08:38Little dinosaurs.
01:08:39Like a little dinosaur.
01:08:41Do you want to be a dinosaur?
01:08:43Yeah.
01:08:45Hey.
01:08:46Got an email from Randy.
01:08:48Signed it, Admiral Cockfield, which I actually think works more than Randy.
01:08:51I wonder where he is.
01:08:53Do I...
01:08:54Wait, do I want to know?
01:08:55Well, he sent a link.
01:08:56Do you want to watch it?
01:08:58Uh-uh.
01:08:59Fuck it.
01:09:00I'm clicking it.
01:09:01Cover him up.
01:09:03Yo, what's up, Blake and Sarah?
01:09:04Why don't you let you know that I'm living my life.
01:09:07It's Randy Cockfield.
01:09:09I missed you guys.
01:09:10I bought a boat.
01:09:11I'm sailing the seven seas, dude.
01:09:14Illegal, Renner.
01:09:15Illegal.
01:09:16I like this.
01:09:20And look who else is here.
01:09:23It's our fuzzy buddy.
01:09:24Oh, he misses you, dude.
01:09:27I'm going to come visit you guys in a couple weeks, so just have the guest house ready for
01:09:33me.
01:09:34Fuck that shit.
01:09:35No, he's not coming here.
01:09:35You and me and your sister Shit became real when I kissed her
01:09:59You can't be mad cause she looks like you
01:10:03Tell me what the hell do you expect me to do
01:10:15She asked me to dance while you was in the bathroom
01:10:19And she moves that body just like you
01:10:24A couple drinks and she got too flirty
01:10:28A couple more and my thoughts got dirty
01:10:33Fuck me bro
01:10:41Got a big dick waiting for you
01:10:44Fuck me bro
01:10:45Let big daddy put it on you
01:10:48Rough and slow
01:10:49Get your bitch ass naked, baby
01:10:52Fuck me bro
01:10:53Fuck me bro
01:10:55I'ma fuck you like a real man
01:10:58Fuck you real bad
01:11:00Dick sick like a beer can
01:11:02Make you feel bad
01:11:04When you fuck me bro
01:11:06Fuck me bro
01:11:07Just fuck me bro
01:11:08Just fuck me bro
01:11:09Just fuck me bro
01:11:10Fuck me bro
01:11:11Just fuck me bro
01:11:12That's right, dude
01:11:14I want you
01:11:15I wanna decorate your muffin with my man juice
01:11:20Ain't no pussy need no motherfucking candles
01:11:23But I got a couple other things we can't do
01:11:28I know that you're used to that ribeye steak
01:11:32But I'm about to give you that border house
01:11:34Rock the house
01:11:35From the back
01:11:36In your mouth
01:11:37Ooh
01:11:38Swallow it up, brother
01:11:40Take a big old film
01:11:42Ain't nobody can finna do it like I can, so
01:11:45Fuck me bro
01:11:47Got a big dick waiting for you
01:11:49Fuck me bro
01:11:51Let big daddy put it on your rough and slow
01:11:55Get your bitch ass naked, baby
01:11:57Fuck me bro
01:11:59Fuck me bro
01:12:01I'ma fuck you like a real man
01:12:04Fuck you real bad
01:12:05Dick sick like a beer can
01:12:08Make you feel bad
01:12:09When you fuck me bro
01:12:11Fuck me bro
01:12:13I'ma fuck you like a real man
01:12:16Fuck you real bad
01:12:17Dig sick like a beer can
01:12:20Make you feel sad
01:12:22When you fuck me bro
01:12:24Fuck me bro
01:12:25Just fuck me bro
01:12:26Just fuck me bro
01:12:27Just fuck me bro
01:12:28Fuck me bro
01:12:29府
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