- 3 months ago
Category
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TVTranscript
00:01:59I can't believe this is like a palace.
00:02:01I think this is the place.
00:02:03This is it?
00:02:05Oh, there's Edna's car.
00:02:07Okay.
00:02:08Mr. Badcap?
00:02:09Mm-hmm.
00:02:10What's the plan?
00:02:11Okay, we've seen, what, six, seven houses already?
00:02:14Eleven.
00:02:15Eleven, right.
00:02:16Yeah, perfect.
00:02:17Okay, we...
00:02:18Oh, holy shit, this kitchen.
00:02:25Wow.
00:02:26I mean, I want to learn how to make souffles in this kitchen.
00:02:30This coming from a man who can't even microwave hot dogs in my apartment?
00:02:34You're goddamn right.
00:02:35I'm impressed.
00:02:37So what's the catch?
00:02:52Aquarobics?
00:02:52Aquarobics?
00:02:52Nude.
00:02:53Does every one of your scenarios involve me being naked?
00:02:58I mean, I don't know.
00:03:01Uh, what's that noise?
00:03:04What?
00:03:05That, like that loud...
00:03:06It's like a boom, two, boom.
00:03:07Oh, I don't hear anything.
00:03:10Okay.
00:03:10There's definitely, like, a...
00:03:13Throbbing bass line.
00:03:15It's pretty loud.
00:03:16Oh, that.
00:03:18That's nothing.
00:03:19That's absolutely nothing.
00:03:20It's just someone in the guest house.
00:03:24Oh.
00:03:25Okay.
00:03:25Okay, yeah.
00:03:26Oh, that's not...
00:03:38Oh, that's not...
00:03:39Oh, that's not...
00:03:40Oh, that's not...
00:03:42Oh, that's not...
00:03:43Oh, that's not...
00:03:45Oh, that's not...
00:03:46Are you guys here for the party?
00:03:49Hell no.
00:03:50Wait, wait, wait.
00:03:50Come back, come back.
00:03:51I've seen enough.
00:03:52That's enough.
00:03:53No, guys, wait.
00:03:53Wait, wait, wait.
00:03:54Trust me.
00:03:55No.
00:03:55You'll be out of here in a month.
00:03:57You could use it as rental property.
00:04:0224-hour notice, Edna.
00:04:0324-hour notice.
00:04:04You know that shit.
00:04:05I texted you, faxed you, DM'd you.
00:04:08I hit you up on MySpace.
00:04:09Well, you know I don't check my social media platforms
00:04:11or my text messages when I'm fucking on hallucinogenics.
00:04:15Oh, but somehow you managed to respond with a dick pic.
00:04:19Yeah, and you should be thanking me.
00:04:20That was my penis's good side.
00:04:21Your penis looked depressed.
00:04:23Well, here it is, guys.
00:04:27This is it.
00:04:27This is the guest house.
00:04:29Okay?
00:04:29It's a smaller version of the big house,
00:04:31except for it smells like bong water and KY.
00:04:33Yeah.
00:04:35Okay?
00:04:35You've seen Zit, now take off.
00:04:36I think I'm gonna be sick.
00:04:37Go, go, spatch, spatch.
00:04:39Oh, the crap.
00:04:43It's not that bad.
00:04:45Mm.
00:04:47Want to smoke some weed, bro?
00:04:48Oh, no, no, I'm good.
00:04:50Thank you so much.
00:04:50But, uh, no, I haven't smoked anything in a really long time, so.
00:04:54Yeah.
00:04:55Great.
00:04:55Okay.
00:04:55You got so much cool, random stuff in here.
00:04:59Yeah, well, I'm a collector of old artifacts.
00:05:01Oh, my God, you have a bomb.
00:05:03Yeah.
00:05:03That's so cool.
00:05:04That's cool.
00:05:04But what about this?
00:05:05Right here, this is Tommy Lee's sex swing.
00:05:08Right on.
00:05:09Great.
00:05:10Uh, cool.
00:05:10All right, listen.
00:05:12Let's get down to brass tacks here.
00:05:14Okay.
00:05:14What is it?
00:05:15What's your name?
00:05:16Blake.
00:05:16Blake.
00:05:16Blake, yeah, take a seat.
00:05:17So here's the deal.
00:05:18Let me just ask you a question.
00:05:19Are you guys really thinking about buying this place, or are you just passing through?
00:05:23Well, actually, you know, I think we're pretty serious about it.
00:05:25We really...
00:05:27Oh, hey.
00:05:29Really?
00:05:29Here.
00:05:30You want it?
00:05:30No, no, no.
00:05:31That's not why I was looking at it.
00:05:32It's Peruvian.
00:05:33Just came in from El Chapo.
00:05:35Wow.
00:05:36It's still morning.
00:05:37Yeah, it's pretty great.
00:05:39Listen, um, if you buy the place...
00:05:41We're thinking if we buy the place, we'd want access to all of it, which would include the
00:05:44guest house.
00:05:45You don't understand.
00:05:47Copy, copy, gotcha, gotcha.
00:05:49All right.
00:05:49Well, this was awesome.
00:05:50Very nice to meet you, Mr.
00:05:52Cockfield.
00:05:53Randy Cockfield.
00:05:55Bye.
00:05:55Bye.
00:05:56Bye, thank you.
00:05:59Bye.
00:06:00Are you freaking kidding me?
00:06:02I know.
00:06:02But we have to give him time to move out.
00:06:04I know.
00:06:04And it told me I just don't feel comfortable allowing him to down and talk with him about
00:06:08all of his finances and everything.
00:06:10Look, I know that this is weird.
00:06:12I do.
00:06:13You think?
00:06:13But aren't you tired?
00:06:15I'm so tired.
00:06:16I just want to...
00:06:17I want to just lay down.
00:06:19I want to be home.
00:06:20Just say we live here now.
00:06:22We're not going anywhere.
00:06:23I do love that yard.
00:06:25And what about the gazebo?
00:06:34Promise me he'll be out soon.
00:06:36That guy gives off weird vibes.
00:06:39IPD promise.
00:06:40I'm serious, babe.
00:06:46I'm serious.
00:06:48I promise.
00:06:49As soon as we get settled in here, I will march right out there and I'll say, you got to
00:06:53get out of here in three months.
00:06:55It's going to end up a week.
00:06:58We could get him out of there in a week.
00:06:59I mean, I love this photo.
00:07:21Well, take a look at this.
00:07:30Later, bruh.
00:07:31Later.
00:07:32Bruh.
00:07:33Hey.
00:07:34Hey.
00:07:34Hey.
00:07:35Hey.
00:07:35Hey.
00:07:36Hey.
00:07:36Hey.
00:07:37Hey.
00:07:38Hi.
00:07:38Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:07:39Okay.
00:07:39I'm gonna get a drink.
00:07:40I'm going to get a drink.
00:07:40Look, if you guys are going to have sex, can we at least close the door?
00:07:44Close it and join us.
00:07:46Yeah, we'll join us, Blake.
00:07:47Look, we need to set a time for you to move out.
00:07:49Gentle with it, you know, it's delicate.
00:07:52Blake, Blake, get in here.
00:07:54Um, yeah.
00:07:56our kitchen what cupboards are empty groceries are gone even the gluten-free
00:08:00cookies are gone like Randy obviously so I thought that you deserve to be
00:08:07rewarded and tonight I thought we could do anything that you wanted you know
00:08:20this is a judgment-free zone right yeah remember the other day when you were
00:08:26talking to like a dude some about it cuz it's you're acting like dude but it's
00:08:34you but it's you doing that voice
00:08:41fuck me bro what you heard of hearing their cheek I said fuck me brah oh yeah
00:08:49yeah that really works
00:08:55oh fuck me bro oh my god
00:09:07what the fuck
00:09:10sorry
00:09:12I think it's just doing ayahuasca
00:09:20ayahuasca what the hell is that it's where you like drink a tea from a root and you get all sick and have a spiritual experience
00:09:28you'll be alright my father just let it out you're trying to get all the negativity
00:09:32oh
00:09:34well let's not let this get in the way
00:09:36yeah bro
00:09:38yeah bro
00:09:40yeah bro some
00:09:42dude
00:09:44what the fuck
00:09:46no wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait I'll really work hold on look
00:09:50you
00:09:52come on he's like dying out there
00:09:54well it's part of the
00:09:56experience
00:09:58don't just
00:10:00fucking randy
00:10:02the
00:10:06the
00:10:08you
00:10:10the
00:10:12the
00:10:14there
00:10:16the
00:10:18the
00:10:20the
00:10:22the
00:10:54Wake up!
00:10:56Why am I being attacked?
00:11:05Fuck! Oh, shit!
00:11:09Blake, Blake, what are you doing in my room?
00:11:11What are you doing in my room?
00:11:12Relax. Take it in.
00:11:15Take it in.
00:11:19Oh, God.
00:11:20You gotta be out by the end of the day, okay?
00:11:22If you need...
00:11:24Fuck. Fuck it. I gotta get high.
00:11:26Please.
00:11:28Yes! It was just a matter of time.
00:11:31Bam!
00:11:33You know, a few years ago, we totally would have been friends.
00:11:37Like, in college, I was a full-on wild man.
00:11:40All my friends thought I was a legend.
00:11:42Oh, shit. Well, let's do some cove, bro.
00:11:44Oh, no, no, no. Just weed's fine.
00:11:46Oh, copy, copy. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
00:11:49But I do want to get, like, very high.
00:11:51Not regular high, but, like, really high.
00:11:54How high?
00:11:55As high as I can possibly get.
00:11:57I'll do anything.
00:11:58You'll do anything.
00:11:59Yeah, anything.
00:12:00Fucking anything.
00:12:02Anything.
00:12:03Anything, dude.
00:12:04Come on.
00:12:06Come on.
00:12:08Let's go.
00:12:10Let's go.
00:12:11I am not fucking doing that.
00:12:12You said you'd do anything.
00:12:13I'm not doing that.
00:12:14Just repeat after me, okay?
00:12:16It's very simple.
00:12:17I'm not gay.
00:12:18I'm not gay.
00:12:19I'm not gay.
00:12:20I'm not gay.
00:12:21So then you're good to do it.
00:12:22Now suck it.
00:12:23Let's go.
00:12:24Dude, of all the pipes you got in this place,
00:12:25why do we gotta smoke out of this one?
00:12:26It's how I sort out my pretenders.
00:12:27No.
00:12:28Okay?
00:12:29If you can suck on Randy Cockfield's dick pipe,
00:12:30you're good with me.
00:12:31Let's go.
00:12:32Suck it.
00:12:33You like chicks.
00:12:34I know you have a chick.
00:12:35Just come on.
00:12:36Come close.
00:12:37Come on, get close.
00:12:38Okay.
00:12:51Delete that shit.
00:12:52No, no, no, no.
00:12:53Delete that shit.
00:12:54I need more followers, bro.
00:12:55Dude, I have a job.
00:12:56I have a girlfriend.
00:12:57Delete that shit.
00:13:07I'm going to sneak in here all the time and smoke that dick.
00:13:37Look, I underestimated you, for real.
00:13:41Oh, yeah, thank you, man.
00:13:42I like hanging out with you, man.
00:13:43It's very fun.
00:13:44If you want to hang harder, dude, check this shit out.
00:13:47Look, look.
00:13:49Check out what's in the box.
00:13:51Whoa.
00:13:52Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:13:53So you're like a drug addict.
00:13:55No, no, look, I'm a drug connoisseur.
00:13:58Yeah, mixing and matching the drugs
00:14:01is precisely how you don't get addicted to the drugs.
00:14:05Smart.
00:14:05Yeah, you got to mix and match.
00:14:07That's really smart.
00:14:07But there is one drug that I'm missing.
00:14:10What's that?
00:14:11Dude, your fucking head is going to spin when you see this shit.
00:14:15We're talking about Flocka.
00:14:16Flocka.
00:14:17The drug is called Flocka.
00:14:18Some are calling it the insanity drug.
00:14:20The insanity drug.
00:14:22It is described as the scariest drug in the world.
00:14:24Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt.
00:14:25Way more powerful than heroin or cocaine.
00:14:28It is a synthetic drug that will alter your state of mind.
00:14:31Extreme delirium, raising body temperature
00:14:33and causing people to literally lose their mind.
00:14:36You cannot do the Flocka, man.
00:14:40Why not?
00:14:41It's a bad drug.
00:14:42Yeah, fucking badass.
00:14:43You can't do that in my house, man.
00:14:45That's bad.
00:14:46What's so bad about it?
00:14:47It's not even fucking in California yet.
00:14:49Relax, dude.
00:14:50All right, well, that's good.
00:14:51That's good.
00:14:51Yet.
00:14:52No.
00:14:52My friend Ben, he's this region's supplier.
00:14:54He's bringing the shit over.
00:14:56Dude, no.
00:14:57It's a no, man.
00:14:58I mean, I don't want that on my property.
00:14:59If Sarah found out...
00:15:00Oh, Sarah.
00:15:01You know, it's fucking Sarah.
00:15:03Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.
00:15:04All right?
00:15:05You know what?
00:15:06Hey, fuck you, you fucking asshole.
00:15:07You know what?
00:15:08You can't hang with me anyways, you little party pussy.
00:15:10You know, spatch.
00:15:10Get out of my place.
00:15:11Yeah, I'll spatch, you fucking pathetic, crusty fuck.
00:15:15Yeah, you can't even hang out in my lair, you piece of shit.
00:15:22Hey, babe.
00:15:23Maybe we can stop by the hardware store and get some lights for the gazebo?
00:15:27Yeah, that'd be...
00:15:27Yeah, that'd be...
00:15:29Mm-hmm.
00:15:29Great.
00:15:30Did you have the talk with Randy today?
00:15:32I...
00:15:33Yeah.
00:15:34Yeah, well, yeah, more or less.
00:15:36We had the talk.
00:15:37It got...
00:15:38It was serious.
00:15:38And he's...
00:15:39So he's now...
00:15:40He's dedicated to finding a new place.
00:15:42Blake.
00:15:43Was that...
00:15:43Yeah.
00:15:44Are you okay?
00:15:45I'm good.
00:15:46Yeah.
00:15:47Yeah, I'm just...
00:15:48Yeah, I'm, like, tired.
00:15:48I'm kind of tired from, like...
00:15:50I didn't sleep that great.
00:15:51You're high.
00:15:53No, I'm not.
00:15:54You're...
00:15:54I don't...
00:15:55You're totally high.
00:15:57You...
00:15:58He was smoking.
00:15:59Mm-hmm.
00:15:59And I may have breathed some in.
00:16:01Just stop talking.
00:16:02Okay.
00:16:03Whoa, but I do think you should know.
00:16:04There was a cloud.
00:16:05Like, a cloud.
00:16:06Look, like, I asked you to go out there and do one thing.
00:16:08Just get rid of the guy, and instead you get baked with him?
00:16:10No, I didn't.
00:16:11I...
00:16:11I was...
00:16:12Like, we were unwinding.
00:16:15I was just unwinding.
00:16:16Like, I'm...
00:16:17I've been stressed.
00:16:18Oh.
00:16:18Oh, you've...
00:16:19You've been stressed.
00:16:22Mm-hmm.
00:16:23You know, you know, I've been stressed, too.
00:16:25You know, teaching 48 second graders a day isn't easy.
00:16:30Yeah, no, I know.
00:16:31Do you really?
00:16:32Because while you go off to your skateboarding job every day and talk about things that nobody
00:16:35over 30 cares about, I'm dealing with angry parents and trying to figure out how to pay
00:16:39for school supplies with zero budget.
00:16:41And then I get to come home and deal with this shit.
00:16:45I have students who are way more mature than you are.
00:16:47I feel like that's kind of unfair.
00:16:49I mean, I haven't, like, spoke to anything in, like, a long time.
00:16:52She got you, man.
00:16:58She's right.
00:17:05What's happening, sweet pea?
00:17:09I think Blake's on drugs.
00:17:12Again.
00:17:12Good.
00:17:13Then maybe the two of you should take a little break.
00:17:18Or a long break.
00:17:19Or a permanent break.
00:17:20Dad, you're not helping.
00:17:22I need some dad advice.
00:17:26I gotta, I gotta go work this out.
00:17:29You want to use my hotel room?
00:17:32What?
00:17:33I keep a hotel room.
00:17:35For the last few months, I've had a room in town.
00:17:38You're welcome to, okay, no, no.
00:17:39No, that's, yeah, I, no problem.
00:17:43Have you heard from Kip?
00:17:44Nope.
00:17:52Fire in the fucking hole!
00:18:06Oh, shit!
00:18:07Woo!
00:18:15Dude.
00:18:15Oh, what?
00:18:18I am not stoked to admit this, dude, but we should tone it down on the turbo.
00:18:22Do you need, like, medical attention or anything?
00:18:24Are you good?
00:18:24Oh, come on, dude.
00:18:26Yeah, sorry.
00:18:26Just, come on, let's talk.
00:18:28Yeah, sorry.
00:18:28We just released that promotional video for the skatewear line, and it's trending.
00:18:33We got a shout-out on Kimmel last night.
00:18:34All of our social media's kind of blowing up.
00:18:36Plus, that kid's mom, she's not pressing charges.
00:18:39Ah, nice!
00:18:40Yeah, yeah, and now you're exactly seven weeks out from being able to skateboard on public property.
00:18:45Yeah, hey, dude, you know I've enjoyed this time to be intimate with my people, right?
00:18:51Oh, and everyone here loves having you around, Mr. Kapinski.
00:18:54They...
00:18:54Blakey Blake, I have one rule.
00:18:57You know this, I'm not mister.
00:18:59I'm damn well not sir.
00:19:01Right.
00:19:01Who am I?
00:19:02You're Shred.
00:19:03Yeah, and why?
00:19:0436 skin grafts, zero real teeth, and more fucking metal than you can shake a dick at.
00:19:13Right.
00:19:14Right, and what's all that from?
00:19:15Shredding it so fucking hard.
00:19:16That's right, man.
00:19:18Fucking shredding!
00:19:22Oh, fuck!
00:19:24Oh, fuck!
00:19:31Oh, yeah.
00:19:31Why do I have to always hit a fucking stud?
00:19:34Because you are a fucking shred, sir.
00:19:37That's right, man.
00:19:38Fucking epic!
00:19:40Oh, yeah.
00:19:40Let's take some skating over here!
00:19:45Oh, my God.
00:19:47All right!
00:19:48All right!
00:19:53Isn't the architecture great?
00:19:54I mean, I can see myself getting married in this house.
00:19:57Sarah, bear, I love you, so I'm going to tell you this as delicately as possible.
00:20:01You could do so much better.
00:20:04I love Blake.
00:20:06He's amazing.
00:20:07I mean, he's everything.
00:20:08Listen, whatever you decide, know that I'll always have your back.
00:20:11I just, I always envisioned your life differently, you know?
00:20:14Like, more like mine, where I have this job, where I don't do a lot of work, but I make a lot of money.
00:20:18I know, and I know he's the one.
00:20:23You know?
00:20:25You know.
00:20:25Just like in college when you knew that you didn't like girls.
00:20:30Seriously, don't even right now.
00:20:33If Blake heard you, he would never stop hounding me for a threesome.
00:20:37Shit, really?
00:20:37You know I'm totally down for that.
00:20:47Oh, shh.
00:20:54Hey, Skippy.
00:20:55What's up, boys?
00:20:57Meow.
00:21:00Meow.
00:21:01Meow.
00:21:02Jesus.
00:21:03I thought I'd fucking get that.
00:21:06Blake!
00:21:07What the fuck?
00:21:08Blake, there's a...
00:21:09There's a goddamn muskrat on you!
00:21:11Help, Blake!
00:21:17Looks like someone's off the market.
00:21:19I mean, you're not married yet.
00:21:20Yeah.
00:21:21Right?
00:21:22No.
00:21:23So what do you say we have one last office, Blake?
00:21:25Holy shit.
00:21:26Uh, I don't...
00:21:28I don't think that we can do that.
00:21:30Yeah?
00:21:31No, if I should.
00:21:32Come on.
00:21:33What happened to fun Blake?
00:21:34No, he's right here.
00:21:35I'm still super fun.
00:21:36I just, you know, I'm serious with Sarah and, you know...
00:21:39You wanna show me?
00:21:40I shouldn't.
00:21:41You know, hey, hey, hey, let's just pause.
00:21:43Blakey Blake!
00:21:44Whoa!
00:21:45What the fuck are you doing?
00:21:47I'm not...
00:21:48It's not what it looks like.
00:21:49I...
00:21:50Come on!
00:21:51You're unbuckled.
00:21:52Your fly's down.
00:21:53Look, I don't know how she got the fly down.
00:21:55That was all that happened.
00:21:56It was a misunderstanding.
00:21:57Bro, man, dude.
00:21:58You have a woman now.
00:22:02You got me really worried about you.
00:22:05I appreciate it.
00:22:06I don't like it.
00:22:07Got it.
00:22:08I'm sorry.
00:22:09Yep.
00:22:10How was everything?
00:22:11Would you say your spinach was leafy?
00:22:15Look, I'm...
00:22:16I'm sorry.
00:22:17I've been stressed with work and...
00:22:18Yeah.
00:22:19No, no, no.
00:22:20I know.
00:22:21I'm sorry.
00:22:22Though, too.
00:22:23Obviously.
00:22:24I should be more sorry than you.
00:22:25I mean, the Randy situation is horrible, but none of that really matters.
00:22:29This is all that matters.
00:22:30You and me.
00:22:31I love you.
00:22:32I love you, too.
00:22:33I love you, too.
00:22:34I love you.
00:22:35And I want to marry you.
00:22:36I love you, too.
00:22:37And I want to marry you.
00:22:38I know.
00:22:39I'm sorry.
00:22:40I know.
00:22:41I'm sorry.
00:22:42I'm sorry, though.
00:22:43Too, obviously.
00:22:44I should be more sorry than you.
00:22:45I mean, the Randy situation is horrible, but none of that really matters.
00:22:47You and me.
00:22:48I love you.
00:22:49I love you, too.
00:22:50I love you.
00:22:51And I want to marry you.
00:23:04I, um, don't actually have a ring, but if I could do that, I just kind of arrived at
00:23:13this.
00:23:14This is a mean, mean joke.
00:23:16No, I'm not joking.
00:23:17I'm so serious.
00:23:21You're like, for real, real.
00:23:24Yeah.
00:23:25We can do it here, in this house.
00:23:27What better way to christen it?
00:23:29Don't fuck with me.
00:23:30I'm not fucking with you.
00:23:31You guys, I just need a can opener.
00:23:32No, I need a can opener.
00:23:33I need just a can opener.
00:23:34There is no chance you don't have a can opener.
00:23:35Is this a bad time?
00:23:36This is an extremely bad time.
00:23:37Really?
00:23:38Yeah.
00:23:39Did you drop your contact or something?
00:23:40No.
00:23:41Oh, shit.
00:23:42I'm sorry.
00:23:43I'm sorry.
00:23:44Yeah.
00:23:45Yeah.
00:23:46Yeah.
00:23:47Yeah.
00:23:48No, no, no, no.
00:23:49You didn't say that again.
00:23:50Yeah, no, no.
00:23:51I came home and he had this amazing dinner laid out and he proposed and I'm so excited,
00:23:54Gary.
00:23:55Don't do it.
00:23:56Skateboard boy?
00:23:57Yes, yes.
00:23:58Skateboard boy.
00:23:59Yes.
00:24:00Listen.
00:24:01You absolutely need advice.
00:24:02I know.
00:24:03Dad, dad, dad, dad.
00:24:04Your advice.
00:24:05It was so helpful.
00:24:06Don't do it.
00:24:07It really just sealed the deal for us.
00:24:08Come home.
00:24:09I know.
00:24:10I'm so happy.
00:24:11No, she's not.
00:24:12It's horrific.
00:24:13Hello.
00:24:14Hi.
00:24:15How's it going?
00:24:16Blake.
00:24:17Blake.
00:24:18Hi, honey.
00:24:19Congratulations.
00:24:20Congratulations, honey.
00:24:21Well, I can't wait to be a part of the family.
00:24:23Blakey.
00:24:24Listen, you.
00:24:25I'm coming over.
00:24:26Okay.
00:24:27We'll put some champagne on ice.
00:24:29Hmm.
00:24:32I think that went pretty well.
00:24:34I do.
00:24:35Yeah.
00:24:36I think it went really well.
00:24:51Yeah!
00:24:54Woo!
00:24:55Woo!
00:24:56Woo!
00:24:57Woo!
00:24:58Woo!
00:24:59Woo!
00:25:00Woo!
00:25:01Woo!
00:25:02Woo!
00:25:03What's up, boo?
00:25:04What's up, boo?
00:25:05What's up, boo?
00:25:07Woo!
00:25:08When I came home last night
00:25:10Woo!
00:25:11Woo!
00:25:12Woo!
00:25:13Woo!
00:25:14What's up, bitch?
00:25:15Thanks.
00:25:16What's up, sweetie?
00:25:17Oh, he's fantastic.
00:25:18Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:25:20Ha ha!
00:25:22Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
00:25:23Follow me.
00:25:24Get this away!
00:25:25I'm so invited!
00:25:27Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:25:30Look at my face!
00:25:31Make, uncle!
00:25:32All right!
00:25:33Oh, yes, all right!
00:25:34Oh.
00:25:35Oh, my, my.
00:25:36Yeah, that's why I'm so invaded, yeah.
00:25:38Give it to me, baby.
00:25:39Yay!
00:25:40Oh, my God!
00:25:41Oh, my God!
00:25:42I'm…
00:25:43Chief ofì—¼ in the Page!
00:25:44Newsday confused.
00:25:45What the hell are you doing?
00:25:54Oh, hey, Blake.
00:25:55You gotta shut this down right now.
00:25:56No, no, no.
00:25:57Not till you get a shish kebab.
00:25:58Hey, Benny, give him a shish kebab.
00:25:59That's what I want.
00:26:00I don't want a shish kebab.
00:26:01That's rude, dude.
00:26:02It's not rude.
00:26:03This is rude.
00:26:04What is this, man?
00:26:05Well, I gotta introduce you.
00:26:06Everybody.
00:26:07Everybody listen up here, okay?
00:26:08This is Blake.
00:26:09This is his house.
00:26:10And I just want everybody to know he's our friend, he's our friend, he's our friend.
00:26:14All right, man.
00:26:15Sarah's had enough.
00:26:16I've had enough.
00:26:17You gotta go, man.
00:26:18This is bad shit.
00:26:19I've already given everyone the three-minute warning.
00:26:20Right, you guys?
00:26:21Yeah.
00:26:22I don't care.
00:26:23Do you know where I can get a straw for my Coca?
00:26:24Oh, I don't know where you can get a straw.
00:26:25Can you put a top on, please?
00:26:26Okay.
00:26:27Oh, pussy bitch.
00:26:28Bitch, I'm respecting.
00:26:29Girl, you better not put no top on.
00:26:30Man, Blake, why you acting like a whole bitch?
00:26:31I'm not.
00:26:32I'm not.
00:26:33Don't laugh at that.
00:26:34Take the shot.
00:26:35I'm not.
00:26:36I'm not.
00:26:37I'm not.
00:26:38Don't laugh at that.
00:26:39Take the shot.
00:26:40I'm not.
00:26:41I'm not.
00:26:42I'm not.
00:26:43Don't laugh at that.
00:26:44Take the shot.
00:26:45Especially for you.
00:26:46Have a good time.
00:26:47Enjoy life, man.
00:26:48Come on.
00:26:49Strike me.
00:26:50Let's go.
00:26:51You said use the fucking party a long time ago.
00:26:53Now's your time.
00:26:54All right.
00:26:55If I do one shot.
00:26:56Oh, look at the hair.
00:27:01All right, Blake.
00:27:03Wait, wait.
00:27:04One more.
00:27:05One more.
00:27:06One more.
00:27:07Blake, Blake, Blake, Blake.
00:27:09One more.
00:27:10Two, and that's it.
00:27:11Yes.
00:27:12Woo!
00:27:13Get out of here.
00:27:16Oh, it's so cool.
00:27:18Like a fiery night.
00:27:21Turn it through the wind.
00:27:22The champion.
00:27:24Always resting on the line.
00:27:26I love pussy.
00:27:27It's about to turn a champion.
00:27:30A champion.
00:27:32Whoa.
00:27:33Whoa.
00:27:34Whoa.
00:27:35Whoa.
00:27:36Whoa.
00:27:37Whoa.
00:27:38Whoa.
00:27:39Whoa.
00:27:40Whoa.
00:27:41Whoa.
00:27:46Can't hold us down.
00:27:47Our blood is rage.
00:27:52Ready for the attack.
00:27:53We're breaking the cage.
00:27:58What's going on here?
00:28:01Oh, there we go.
00:28:02Right there.
00:28:03Hey.
00:28:04Hey.
00:28:05You the homeowner?
00:28:06I live in the guest house in the back.
00:28:07You throwing this party?
00:28:08No, no, no.
00:28:09I'm in the back.
00:28:10I'm in the guest house.
00:28:11I'm actually moving out soon.
00:28:12Guest house?
00:28:13And if you know anyone.
00:28:14You know anyone?
00:28:15You know anyone?
00:28:16It's funny you should say that because my uncle has this building in the area.
00:28:19But.
00:28:20Holy shit.
00:28:21I gotta give you my number.
00:28:22What do you think?
00:28:23Ah.
00:28:24Oh, let me get you a beer.
00:28:25A beer.
00:28:26Whiskey.
00:28:27Beer.
00:28:28I wish I could.
00:28:29Oh, man.
00:28:30I'm on duty.
00:28:31I can't be drinking.
00:28:32Copy.
00:28:33Copy.
00:28:34You.
00:28:35You know, I have to tell you something.
00:28:36You police officers very much underappreciated.
00:28:39I think you guys are fucking awesome.
00:28:41Think you got a bad rap?
00:28:42Sweet hug?
00:28:43Come in.
00:28:44What?
00:28:45Come on.
00:28:46No one ever hugs police officers.
00:28:47Well, that's true.
00:28:48Oh, this.
00:28:49Oh, that feels good.
00:28:52You're so stupid.
00:28:53Yeah.
00:28:55He was stupid.
00:28:56I knew we were supposed to be together.
00:28:58We're a team, man.
00:28:59What's your name?
00:29:00Officer Ford.
00:29:01No.
00:29:02Officer Ford.
00:29:03Officer Ford.
00:29:04Stop that.
00:29:05Carl.
00:29:06Holy shit.
00:29:07First name basis.
00:29:08What's your name?
00:29:09My name is Randy.
00:29:10Randy?
00:29:11Yeah, Randy Cockfield.
00:29:12Randy Cock-
00:29:13Cock-
00:29:24Yeah, that's great.
00:29:25It's just not cool.
00:29:26I mean, like, it's fun and stuff.
00:29:27I don't want to leave.
00:29:28You know, I want to stay back there.
00:29:29I can't get it.
00:29:30It's a nice neighborhood.
00:29:31Yeah, and it's very comfortable.
00:29:32So it's like, I don't want to move out.
00:29:33You know what I mean?
00:29:34Hey, sir.
00:29:35I need you to evacuate the premises immediately.
00:29:36This party has been shut down.
00:29:37Oh, this is a section of my house.
00:29:38Oh, this is your house.
00:29:39Oh, this is your house.
00:29:40Yeah.
00:29:41Oh, yeah.
00:29:42Yeah.
00:29:43Welcome to the neighborhood, Mr. Brenner.
00:29:44Now, the folks around here consider underage drinking and disturbing the peace.
00:29:46Oh, not cool.
00:29:47And illegal.
00:29:48Illegal.
00:29:49Illegal!
00:29:50Unbelievable.
00:29:51Illegal.
00:29:52Ah!
00:29:53Illegal.
00:29:54Illegal.
00:29:55Huh?
00:29:56Yeah.
00:29:57Illegal.
00:29:58Okay.
00:29:59All right.
00:30:00Damn, you smell good.
00:30:01Get him away from me.
00:30:02Why you smell so good?
00:30:03Huh?
00:30:04Because he's a little white.
00:30:05What kind of man smells this good?
00:30:06What kind of man smells this good?
00:30:07What kind of man smells this good?
00:30:08What kind of man smells this good?
00:30:09Call me on my social media platforms, officer.
00:30:10What is it?
00:30:11Uh, at the Randy Cockfield.
00:30:12Dispatch, I got another asshole coming in.
00:30:13There's no way that call went in.
00:30:14There's no way you talk.
00:30:15Literally and figuratively, I got an asshole coming in.
00:30:16Come on.
00:30:17Come on.
00:30:18Come on.
00:30:19Oh, got me.
00:30:20Mom, okay.
00:30:21Hey, man.
00:30:22Come on.
00:30:23How much was it?
00:30:24Hey, hey, hey, hey, let me tell you.
00:30:25Hey, you'll let this good.
00:30:26Hey,é•¿.
00:30:27Hey,é•·.
00:30:28He's calling me on my social media platforms, officer.
00:30:29What is it?
00:30:30Uh, at the Randy Cockfield.
00:30:31Dispatch, I got another asshole coming in.
00:30:32There's no way that call went in.
00:30:33There's no way you talk.
00:30:34Literally and figuratively, I got an asshole coming in.
00:30:36Come on.
00:30:47Hope you have a nice stay tonight.
00:30:52Just let me know if you need anything.
00:30:54What?
00:30:55Come with me, I'm gonna show you your room.
00:30:57Okay.
00:30:59He seems cool.
00:31:00He'll be cool.
00:31:01Oh, God.
00:31:06Be sure to call the front desk if you need anything.
00:31:17Like, what the hell happened to our backyard?
00:31:21I don't know where you are, but you're not here.
00:31:24I've got the girls coming over to try on their dresses,
00:31:26and you know what?
00:31:26I don't know.
00:31:29I don't know if I can go through this wedding anymore.
00:31:33I even knocked on Randy's fucking door.
00:31:39What happened?
00:31:39What is this?
00:31:41Somebody put dicks everywhere.
00:31:43Some asshole turned our entire property
00:31:47into a bag of dicks.
00:31:52Blake, where are you?
00:32:08I don't even know where he is.
00:32:10What if he's, like, dead in a ditch somewhere?
00:32:12Or, I don't know, maybe he got scared and just left me.
00:32:16I'd call that a good fucking day.
00:32:18There's a shit ton of dicks in your backyard.
00:32:21Say that's a bad omen.
00:32:22There aren't that many dicks.
00:32:25You can fix this.
00:32:27It's not that bad.
00:32:29It's a dick-splosion.
00:32:31I don't know, I always liked Blake.
00:32:33He's, like, one of those good guys.
00:32:35He'll be back.
00:32:36Sometimes I feel like I'm pushing him,
00:32:38and maybe this isn't-
00:32:39I'm just gonna call it how it is.
00:32:41You need to toss that boy out like a used tampon.
00:32:43Ew, what is wrong with you?
00:32:44I'm serious.
00:32:45You could do so much better than him.
00:32:47Blake is a fucking cocksucker,
00:32:50crusty, dumb mother fucker.
00:32:52Blake?
00:32:53Blake, are you okay?
00:32:54I'm fine.
00:32:56What do you mean fine?
00:32:57What does fine mean?
00:32:58Get out of here, you fucking piece of shit!
00:33:00Come out, come out,
00:33:01wherever you are, warriors!
00:33:04Huh?
00:33:04You got me fucking arrested.
00:33:05No, you got you arrested.
00:33:07Arrested?
00:33:07I'll explain in a second.
00:33:09If you think about it,
00:33:10like, none of this shit is actually my fault.
00:33:12What are you talking about, you fucking psycho?
00:33:14You burned down my gazebo!
00:33:16No, no, no.
00:33:17Look, you burned down your gazebo, okay?
00:33:18Right, dickface?
00:33:19Blake, were you partying with her?
00:33:21Was it taking out a cunt to tell him?
00:33:22It's not like that.
00:33:23I...
00:33:24I got a little drunk.
00:33:25Just stop, just stop, just stop talking.
00:33:28Done.
00:33:28I can't!
00:33:29Done, done.
00:33:30I can't do this!
00:33:31It looks like you have a lot more to worry about
00:33:34than me, motherfucker, huh?
00:33:36Princess Sarah is pi-i-i-ist,
00:33:40which means you ain't gettin' all pussy tonight.
00:33:42Shut the fuck up!
00:33:43All right, we just wanted a house!
00:33:45We went and looked at 17 houses,
00:33:48and we found this one,
00:33:49and finally Sarah was happy,
00:33:51and so was I,
00:33:52and then fucking you!
00:33:58I guess you're not my friend,
00:33:59you're not my friend,
00:34:00I guess you're not my friend,
00:34:01you're not my friend!
00:34:01Shut the fuck up!
00:34:27Ah!
00:34:28Yeah.
00:34:28Yeah, you know what?
00:34:29Underage drinking,
00:34:31and a salt and battery have in common renner?
00:34:34They're both illegal.
00:34:35That's right!
00:34:36Illegal!
00:34:37Hey!
00:34:38Oh, my God.
00:34:38Are you okay?
00:34:39No.
00:34:39I can't believe you hit Randy.
00:34:41You drugged me.
00:34:42You know what?
00:34:43Apologize to Randy.
00:34:44Yeah.
00:34:44Apologize!
00:34:45I will not apologize.
00:34:46Tell him to kiss me.
00:34:46Yeah, kiss Randy.
00:34:48Go ahead, go ahead!
00:34:49Go ahead!
00:34:50What the fuck?
00:34:51You're gonna kiss me?
00:34:51I don't know!
00:34:52You're a piece of shit, man!
00:34:53He was gonna kiss me a piece of shit!
00:34:55I can't believe this.
00:34:56I'm back here again, but you trust fun kids.
00:34:58I'm not a trust fun kid.
00:34:59Yeah, like you can afford this.
00:35:00Just sit there and shut the fuck up.
00:35:03Oh, my God.
00:35:04I'm so sorry, Randy.
00:35:05My head hurts.
00:35:06Did he hit you good?
00:35:07Yeah, he punched me under there, and I was on my dating app, Chubby Chasers.
00:35:11I was looking for some babes in this bucket.
00:35:13I'm on Chubby Chasers.
00:35:14No.
00:35:15Really?
00:35:16I love big bitches, man.
00:35:17Oh, man.
00:35:18Have you met anybody?
00:35:20Can we go?
00:35:21Hey!
00:35:22Hey!
00:35:23Hey!
00:35:24I'm the captain now!
00:35:25We should watch that movie night.
00:35:29All right, Randy.
00:35:31Thank you, officer.
00:35:32This is war.
00:35:33All right, Carl.
00:35:34Take care.
00:35:35Your fucking face.
00:35:38Okay?
00:35:39Great.
00:35:40Yeah.
00:35:41Just sit back and shut up.
00:35:42I know your time.
00:35:43I fucking hate you.
00:35:45Damn it.
00:35:46I gotta take this motherfucking...
00:35:48I'm lucky I didn't get this out.
00:35:49Yeah.
00:35:50Beat your ass with this.
00:35:51Well, here's your belongings.
00:35:53I need you to sign right here.
00:36:00Where can we, uh, expect to see you again?
00:36:02Never again.
00:36:04Fantastic.
00:36:06We'll keep the same room for you.
00:36:08I'll get you a good roommate.
00:36:10Really nice.
00:36:12Okay.
00:36:13All right.
00:36:14Terrific.
00:36:15Look, I'm really sorry about all this dumb shit.
00:36:16Lying to you, partying, Randy.
00:36:18Look, look.
00:36:19It's not about Randy.
00:36:20It's about you and your behavior.
00:36:21This really has gotta stop.
00:36:22I know.
00:36:23Well, well, well.
00:36:24We meet again, Mr. Renner.
00:36:28Look, I'm just...
00:36:29His temper.
00:36:30His anger issues.
00:36:31I am...
00:36:32This has to be a joke.
00:36:33There's no joke here, okay?
00:36:35You are no longer allowed to be within 100 feet of Mr. Cockfield.
00:36:40You may not contact him verbally or by the internet.
00:36:44I mean, is there anything we can do?
00:36:46You could contact the city, but the laws for tenants are pretty strict.
00:36:49He's not a tenant.
00:36:50He's a squatter.
00:36:52How am I supposed to keep 100 feet away from him in my own house?
00:36:55Good luck.
00:36:56Bye.
00:36:57Goodbye.
00:36:58Why is everyone here like this?
00:37:01Don't.
00:37:02Don't.
00:37:03Don't.
00:37:04You're fucked.
00:37:19It is so on, you bitch!
00:37:22Mmm.
00:37:23Blake, I thought you were my friend, but I guess not.
00:37:26What did you say?
00:37:27I said you have skinny bony bitches.
00:37:31That's it.
00:37:32That's all from me.
00:37:33I just want to stand and stare tonight.
00:37:34Yeah, we'll go back inside, you little pig.
00:37:35I interrupted the whole flow.
00:37:37I can't believe I let you come here and suck my dick pipe.
00:37:40That dick pipe is a gross exaggeration of what you're working with, my man.
00:37:44Yeah, what the fuck ever, you little waspy bitch.
00:37:47You know?
00:37:48You stay on your side and I'll stay on my side.
00:37:51Warriors, come out and play, yay!
00:37:54They're all my side!
00:37:56Good night.
00:37:57Good night.
00:37:58Good night!
00:37:59Go back to Marin County.
00:38:00No.
00:38:01I'm kicking him out.
00:38:02This is warm.
00:38:03Don't start this.
00:38:04I can't handle the stress.
00:38:05What?
00:38:06You let him walk all over us?
00:38:07No fucking way.
00:38:08I'm serious.
00:38:09I don't like this side of you.
00:38:10Well, you haven't seen anything yet.
00:38:11Thank you very much.
00:38:12What are you doing?
00:38:13Dance with me, dude.
00:38:14Dance with me, dude.
00:38:28Dance with me, dude.
00:38:30Dance with me, dude.
00:38:33Come and stop.
00:38:35Dance with me, dude.
00:38:37Dance with me, dude.
00:38:41This book's in Latin, bro.
00:38:42I can't read Latin.
00:38:46Are you happy?
00:38:47No.
00:38:49Oh, shit.
00:38:54He'll be gone in a few days.
00:38:56What's he gonna do without power?
00:38:58I don't like this.
00:38:59Come on, what?
00:39:01No one says I have to pay for his electricity.
00:39:03He's fucked.
00:39:17What the fuck is that?
00:39:19Sounds like a helicopter's out there.
00:39:27Cutting off the powers amateur hour, huh?
00:39:29I fucking hate this guy.
00:39:31I'm too powerful for you, bro.
00:39:33Too motherfucking strong.
00:39:35Look at that shit.
00:39:39This is my side, that's your side.
00:39:41You stay over there, little pussy.
00:39:43Who's got some beer, huh?
00:39:51Hey, Benny.
00:39:53Randy can wobble, but he can't what?
00:39:55He can't fall down.
00:39:57That's fantastic, bro.
00:39:59Yeah.
00:40:00Hey, can I leave?
00:40:01No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, dude.
00:40:03No, no, no, no, no, bro.
00:40:05Arrr!
00:40:07Don't go away.
00:40:09He'll be right there.
00:40:10Mr.
00:40:11Mr.
00:40:12Mr.
00:40:13Mr.
00:40:16Mr.
00:40:17Dr.
00:40:18Mr.
00:40:19Mr.
00:40:20Mr.
00:40:24Mr.
00:40:25Mr.
00:40:26Mr.
00:40:27Mr.
00:40:28Mr.
00:40:29Mr.
00:40:30Mr.
00:40:32Mr.
00:40:33Mr.
00:40:34Oh, my God.
00:41:04I can't help myself when I'm with ya
00:41:09Something takes me over like a drug
00:41:13Losing all my senses when I'm with ya
00:41:19Looks like all we got left is the interview and then the launch party
00:41:24And we should be squared away
00:41:25You okay, Blakey?
00:41:27Yeah, I'm good. I'm great
00:41:28You're sweating like a fucking pig, Holmes
00:41:30Did you drive to work today or something?
00:41:34That's hot
00:41:41Someone's looking out
00:41:49Oh, hi, ma'am
00:41:54I think I got your package
00:41:55You got a package for me?
00:41:57Yes, the package, that's my job
00:41:59You want to deliver your package?
00:42:01Oh my god, does this work?
00:42:03Oh, that feels good
00:42:05That's good for my back
00:42:06Alright, that's good
00:42:08I gotta go back to work
00:42:10Oh my god, what is this material?
00:42:21It's like rayon or some polycotton or something
00:42:24It's amazing, I wish the whole world was this fabric
00:42:27Wait, are you on Molly or something?
00:42:29Molly? No, no, no, I would never even be able to get my
00:42:31Oh my god
00:42:32I'm sorry, nope, this is bad
00:42:34Wait, what?
00:42:35This is great, you're great, you're so great
00:42:37But I have to go, I'm on drugs
00:42:38No, no, I'm on drugs, I'm sorry
00:42:39Sorry, sorry
00:42:40Hello?
00:42:41Sarah, we've been drugged
00:42:42What?
00:42:45I think that asshole
00:42:46Never mind, just don't go out of the house
00:42:48And don't drink the water
00:42:49Just go to the bedroom, I'll be right there
00:42:51Yeah, yeah, okay, okay
00:42:54What's the matter?
00:42:55You gotta, you gotta, you gotta go
00:42:57Is that family?
00:42:58No, no, you gotta go
00:42:59Uh-uh, you gotta go
00:43:00No, no, I don't
00:43:01You gotta go, come on
00:43:03No, I don't wanna go
00:43:04You gotta go
00:43:05No, no, no, no
00:43:06I don't wanna go
00:43:07I hurt myself, no
00:43:11Want nobody else, no
00:43:13You know that you're mad
00:43:15No, no, no, no
00:43:35Blake
00:43:36Blake
00:43:38What the actual fuck
00:43:41I'm late for work
00:43:43I'm late for work
00:43:45Hi
00:43:48Sorry
00:43:49We just moved in
00:43:51Hey, hi
00:43:59Can I tell you something honestly?
00:44:01Yeah, please
00:44:02You are fucking fired
00:44:04What happened?
00:44:09That walking foreskin got me fired
00:44:12No, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, do not hit him again
00:44:15I'm not gonna hit him, I'm not even gonna touch him, I'm just gonna lightly, lightly pummel him until he's dead
00:44:20No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me, okay?
00:44:23It's not worth it, we talked about this, you were gonna leave your job anyway, so, you know, I can float us until you find something else
00:44:28That's not the point
00:44:29It's not worth it, let it go, we'll get through this, okay?
00:44:32The wedding party's coming tomorrow night for dinner, and I do not need this crazy on top of all the other crazy
00:44:36I cannot let him get away with this
00:44:38Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, just listen to me, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, take a deep breath, take a deep
00:44:42Deep bath and soak, and I'll get some epsom salts, and we can just talk it out, yeah?
00:44:48Okay, that'd be great
00:44:49Yeah?
00:44:50Mm-hmm, that'd be really great
00:44:51Thank you
00:44:52Okay
00:44:52No job
00:45:02It's actually an advantage
00:45:04It means you have all the time in the world
00:45:06Well now
00:45:08Me too, motherfucker
00:45:12Alright
00:45:12I don't know.
00:45:42Oh, you motherfucker!
00:45:59Hey, Randy!
00:46:00Buddy, oh my God, I totally forgot to tell you.
00:46:03They're bug bombing the house today.
00:46:05Randy is solid, and he can't get up.
00:46:09Yeah, man, it's just...
00:46:10I've been so crazy with the wedding.
00:46:12I totally forgot you were in there.
00:46:13You're an asshole!
00:46:15You should know.
00:46:16They're using very heavy-duty chemicals.
00:46:19Apparently, all your bodily functions will go off at once.
00:46:22Huh?
00:46:22Oh, no.
00:46:24Oh!
00:46:25Oh, no!
00:46:29Oh!
00:46:30Hi-Dookie!
00:46:34Ah!
00:46:34Ah!
00:46:35Ah!
00:46:36Shh!
00:46:36Shh!
00:46:36Shh!
00:46:37Just repeat after me.
00:46:40It's not gay!
00:46:41It's not gay!
00:46:43It's not gay!
00:46:44Again, even more.
00:46:46It's not gay!
00:46:48It's okay, Randy.
00:46:49It's okay.
00:46:50It's a trust exercise.
00:46:52Just close your eyes and trust me, dude.
00:46:55It's not gay!
00:47:01Piece of shit I'm gonna get you, Renner!
00:47:03Come on, sir.
00:47:33Blake, why is there a meth lab in our backyard?
00:47:41I'm going in there to get all that pack rat shit, and I'm gonna move it so that he has
00:47:46to take his rat hole elsewhere.
00:47:48Oh.
00:47:49Now, we can have the rehearsal dinner back here.
00:47:53I'll fix up the gazebo, and we can have the wedding back here, oh, while that fucker's
00:47:58not around to mess with us.
00:48:00Oh.
00:48:02I'm gonna have my gravy.
00:48:05I love you!
00:48:07I love you, too!
00:48:09I honestly love you so much!
00:48:30There we go.
00:48:31That's the time!
00:48:32Um, so before we dig into dessert, um, we just wanted to say a big thank you to our amazing
00:48:46wedding party.
00:48:47All you guys.
00:48:48For all your love and support.
00:48:50Um, the last couple of weeks have been a bit of a journey getting here, but...
00:48:53It's been a little rocky, but it's been good.
00:48:56Yeah.
00:48:57Yeah.
00:48:58Um, but tonight is really just about celebrating and making memories and, um, spreading love.
00:49:04Aw.
00:49:05Cheers!
00:49:06Cheers!
00:49:07Cheers!
00:49:08Cheers, guys!
00:49:09Thank you so much!
00:49:10Cheers!
00:49:11Cheers!
00:49:12Cheers!
00:49:13Cheers!
00:49:14Cheers!
00:49:15Cheers!
00:49:16Cheers!
00:49:17Cheers!
00:49:18Cheers!
00:49:19Cheers!
00:49:20Mmm!
00:49:21Weddings are the worst.
00:49:22Yeah.
00:49:23I'm sure your wedding's gonna be fine, but...
00:49:25I hate weddings.
00:49:26Mm hmm.
00:49:27I'm gonna go to yours right now, but it'll be alright.
00:49:29I appreciate that. I appreciate it. Mainly, it's, uh, her dad, uh, what's the word? Like, he hates me. He hates me a ton.
00:49:35Okay, Blake's exaggerating. He doesn't hate you. He just, he's not too sure about you.
00:49:42Oh, come on. Who could hate those sad goat eyes?
00:49:46Sarah's dad isn't so bad. Loved me, right, Sarah?
00:49:48Uh, Kip, he, he, he did.
00:49:51Yeah, he really loves you a ton.
00:49:53Good old Douglas, man. He's crazy. I love that dude.
00:49:57Remember he took us to the beach house?
00:49:59Oh, the beach house!
00:50:01Oh, no!
00:50:03Oh, man.
00:50:04That sounds awesome. That sounds really awesome.
00:50:06That's awesome.
00:50:06The beach house. I've seen pictures, but I've never been.
00:50:09Yeah.
00:50:10Yeah, the very second he met me, he called me Kip, and he said, never mind, and then he said, I hate you.
00:50:16Here we motherfucking go.
00:50:24Fucking flock of possum.
00:50:27Oh, my God.
00:50:57Well, that's the last of the shots.
00:51:19With any luck, you guys will all be fine.
00:51:21Except him. He's not going anywhere.
00:51:25Aw, man, that's bullshit.
00:51:27It is.
00:51:28What do you mean, usually? What if the medicine doesn't work?
00:51:32Well, then you're fucked. Basically.
00:51:36Fucking flock of possum.
00:51:38Everybody else got the rabies shots already. Do you think we should tell them that it may not work?
00:51:43Can we keep it from them for a little bit?
00:51:44Um, Mr. Brenner, um, what exactly did this to your guests?
00:51:52Nothing. I have no idea. It could have been absolutely anything.
00:51:57Yeah. Mr. Brenner, I'd advise you not to take the law into your own hands.
00:52:02Of course not.
00:52:03Because that would be illegal.
00:52:05Very illegal.
00:52:09Okay, Bonnie and Clyde. You have a good evening.
00:52:12Will do. Thank you so much for stopping by.
00:52:14So good to see you.
00:52:16Oh, I hate you both.
00:52:20I think we've got to postpone the wedding.
00:52:22No.
00:52:30I think he's going to die.
00:52:31I know.
00:52:44I will give you $100,000 if we turn around right now.
00:53:08We already talked about this.
00:53:09All right.
00:53:09All right.
00:53:12Hey, honey, hi.
00:53:13Good to see you.
00:53:15Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of God
00:53:21to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony
00:53:26to bind their hearts as one forever and ever.
00:53:32And ever.
00:53:34Ever.
00:53:36Do you have a mint?
00:53:38No, Cesar.
00:53:39Shh, shh, shh.
00:53:40What are you doing?
00:53:42Huh?
00:53:43It's funny.
00:53:57Blake.
00:53:58Oh.
00:54:00Do you take...
00:54:01Soria?
00:54:03Sarah.
00:54:03Sarah.
00:54:04Whatever.
00:54:05Hmm?
00:54:07As your life...
00:54:08wife.
00:54:09Yes, I do.
00:54:10Do you take blame?
00:54:15Blake.
00:54:16Yeah.
00:54:17It's Blake.
00:54:18Do you take this guy to be your husband?
00:54:20Yes, I do.
00:54:23And now, by the power vested in this state and this country,
00:54:28I now pronounce you husband and wife.
00:54:31You may kiss the bride or whatever.
00:54:35Good luck.
00:54:36May God have mercy on yourselves.
00:54:40Can't make it last.
00:54:45Because, baby, we're a slow burning fire.
00:54:52We're dancing in the smoke, rising higher.
00:55:02Through the ashes of time, I'll be yours, you'll be mine.
00:55:06That here we make more ever die.
00:55:10Because we're a slow burning fire.
00:55:15Well, Matt, you finally did it.
00:55:17Proud of you.
00:55:18Took one for the team.
00:55:20Your life is completely over.
00:55:22I'm so proud of you.
00:55:23Thank you so much.
00:55:25Listen, if there's ever a chance that you're going to get anal, my friend, it's tonight.
00:55:29We'll see, yeah.
00:55:30What's up, Mr. Ev?
00:55:31How's it going?
00:55:32Looking good, buddy.
00:55:33Jason Statham good.
00:55:34Stop talking.
00:55:35Get out of my airspace.
00:55:36Let's go.
00:55:38Unreal.
00:55:40Blake.
00:55:42Mr. Masters.
00:55:43Or I guess I should say, Dad.
00:55:45Oh.
00:55:46You have surprised me.
00:55:49And those who have tried will tell you, it is not an easy thing to surprise.
00:55:55Wait, wait, come on!
00:55:57Jesus!
00:55:59Angela, you should know better than ever sneak up.
00:56:01Never sneak up on a man.
00:56:04Me especially!
00:56:07She's a wonderful woman!
00:56:09I knew her since she was...
00:56:12She's always been that tall.
00:56:13And she makes a great honey-baked ham.
00:56:15Blake.
00:56:17Oh, God.
00:56:18Here's the deal.
00:56:20No one's done it.
00:56:22You brought my daughter to the altar.
00:56:24Yeah.
00:56:25Look, I want you to know...
00:56:26Blake, we just, uh, we need you for some photos.
00:56:31I'll be there in a sec.
00:56:33Mr. D.
00:56:36Kip!
00:56:46Ladies and gentlemen.
00:56:51Would you join me, please, in raising a glass to my love?
00:56:57the kind of passion
00:56:59that your mother and I have shared
00:57:02for the last 35 years.
00:57:07Not a day goes by
00:57:08that I do not look across the room
00:57:11and makes everything okay
00:57:14because she's so beautiful,
00:57:17so classy,
00:57:20so attentive, I guess.
00:57:25What do you do?
00:57:26Beb, what are you...
00:57:27Raise your glass.
00:57:29Your touch is fantastic.
00:57:30Hey, Douglas, what's Beb been drinking?
00:57:33I'll have a double.
00:57:35I'll pour it for you a little bit later.
00:57:37You want to go down?
00:57:38He's cute.
00:57:39You okay?
00:57:41Everybody, I want to suck his cock.
00:57:45Raise your glasses, everyone.
00:57:47To suck his cock.
00:57:52The actual fuck.
00:57:54I think your mom's on Molly.
00:57:55That's what the actual fuck is.
00:57:57It's really nice.
00:57:57What the hell's wrong with you?
00:57:59Stop.
00:58:00Stop.
00:58:00Get out of here.
00:58:05Like, all of our guests
00:58:07are acting really weird.
00:58:08Yeah, right?
00:58:09Yeah.
00:58:11Listen, Jimmy, what the fuck?
00:58:13What the fuck?
00:58:14Fuck.
00:58:14Fuck.
00:58:15Fuck.
00:58:15Fuck.
00:58:16Fuck.
00:58:16Oh my God!
00:58:22Oh my God!
00:58:24Fuck! Fuck!
00:58:26Please, no! No!
00:58:28Oh my God!
00:58:30Oh my God!
00:58:46I'm so happy you're not my dad.
00:59:02What the fuck is going on?
00:59:06They're out of control.
00:59:08The house is ruined. The wedding's ruined.
00:59:10He's here. I know he's here somewhere.
00:59:12This has Randy written all over it.
00:59:14Yeah!
00:59:22Oh, fuck.
00:59:24Oh, shit.
00:59:26Oopsies.
00:59:28Oh, man.
00:59:30Holy shit.
00:59:32What the fuck?
00:59:34What the fuck did you do, Randy?
00:59:36I gave your party the whole box, brother.
00:59:38I gave him the whole motherfucking box.
00:59:40I'm gonna fucking kill you.
00:59:42No!
00:59:44No!
00:59:46No!
00:59:48No!
00:59:50No!
00:59:52No!
00:59:54They lost forever.
00:59:56I couldn't feel more secure.
01:00:00Oh, I couldn't believe all the quarry better.
01:00:04Ohengaw.
01:00:05You never lose.
01:00:08How much I love you.
01:00:09How much you chose.
01:00:11Oh, Lord.
01:00:12Oh, Lord.
01:00:13Never you
01:00:15Oh, fuck
01:00:17Oh, fuck
01:00:19Oh, fuck
01:00:20When the time went together
01:00:22Everybody's moving like lightning
01:00:26I'm such a miracle fever
01:00:30Never heard of myself to me
01:00:34Oh, Lord
01:00:36And one knows
01:00:38How much I love
01:00:40How much it shows
01:00:42Oh, Lord
01:00:44And one knows
01:00:50I was living without you
01:00:54I'm so sorry
01:00:56It's all right
01:00:58Please, please, please
01:01:00I'll be fine
01:01:02It's all over now
01:01:04It's nearly over
01:01:08All right, look out
01:01:10Man
01:01:16If that shit was on pay-per-view
01:01:18We'd be fucking millionaires right now
01:01:20For real
01:01:21Shut the fuck up
01:01:22You never shut the fuck up
01:01:24I was trying to be your friend
01:01:26Okay, I was being nice to you
01:01:28And being generous
01:01:29And you were miserable
01:01:30Oh, my God, of course I was
01:01:31In our relationship, okay?
01:01:33So what we need to do as a team, bro
01:01:35As a team
01:01:36Do not fucking touch me
01:01:37We need to move forward
01:01:38Don't touch me
01:01:39We should move forward
01:01:40There is no moving forward
01:01:41I'm not looking in the rear view
01:01:42There's not a rear view mirror
01:01:43There is not a fucking rear view mirror
01:01:44What do you mean?
01:01:45You're a fucking loser
01:01:46You're a loser, dude
01:01:47All right?
01:01:48You're 50 years old and you live in a fucking guest house
01:01:49Whatever, dude
01:01:50You are fucking delusional, man
01:01:52Everything around you turns to shit
01:01:58Mr. Maraner
01:01:59Is it her?
01:02:04Hey
01:02:05Are you okay?
01:02:06Just stop
01:02:07I came to pay your bail
01:02:09Okay
01:02:10What about my bail?
01:02:11Please
01:02:12No, I'm not paying your fucking bail
01:02:14I came to pay your bail
01:02:16I paid your bail
01:02:17And that's it
01:02:18What do you mean?
01:02:20I mean
01:02:21I mean
01:02:22I mean, that's it
01:02:23You and me
01:02:24I
01:02:25We're done
01:02:26We can't do this
01:02:27Well
01:02:28Sarah
01:02:29Listen
01:02:30Oof
01:02:31How many more signs do we need?
01:02:32You know, if it wasn't this
01:02:33It would be something in one, two, five years from now
01:02:35Mm-hmm
01:02:36I
01:02:37Listen to me
01:02:38I
01:02:39That's not
01:02:40Look, I am listening
01:02:41I'm finally listening to you
01:02:42But
01:02:43Don't you love me?
01:02:46Love isn't the issue here
01:02:48Yes, it is
01:02:49It's the only issue
01:02:50I can't
01:02:51Just please
01:02:52Just don't make this any worse
01:02:53Yeah
01:02:54Wait, just give me another chance
01:02:55I'm pregnant
01:02:59Okay
01:03:00That's fine
01:03:01That's great
01:03:02I mean, now the plan is
01:03:03You get me out of here
01:03:04And we
01:03:05No, no, the plan is
01:03:06I'm going to stay at my parents' house
01:03:07And do not come and try to see me
01:03:09Because my dad said he's gonna kill you
01:03:10And
01:03:11I don't really think he means it this time
01:03:16I gotta, gotta go
01:03:19Wow
01:03:20Wow
01:03:21She's pregnant, man
01:03:22That's amazing
01:03:23Shut the fuck up
01:03:24I just
01:03:25Shut the, you have to shut the fuck up
01:03:29Gotcha
01:03:31Sad
01:03:32Okay
01:03:33Sarge
01:03:34Ah
01:03:35Get in here
01:03:36This is him, let's stop
01:03:38I've been watching you for some time
01:03:51Can't stop staring at those ocean eyes
01:03:57Burning
01:04:00Oh my god, he is so cute
01:04:02I don't wanna do this on my own
01:04:04You are not on your own
01:04:13Hello
01:04:14Hey, Blake
01:04:15It's Edna from High and Polk and Realty
01:04:17Hello, Edna
01:04:18I just need to go over a few things in person
01:04:20Before we put the house back on the market
01:04:24Can you meet me at the house Saturday at noon?
01:04:26Great, thanks Edna
01:04:27I'll see you Saturday
01:04:28Okay, see you then
01:04:29Bye
01:04:56Come into your ocean eyes
01:04:59Close your ocean eyes
01:05:05Jesus
01:05:15The house looks amazing
01:05:17You've been busy
01:05:18No, no, I didn't
01:05:19I didn't do any of this
01:05:20What?
01:05:21Who did?
01:05:22Truce, truce
01:05:23Peace, peace
01:05:24Are you fucking kidding me?
01:05:25Look, look, look
01:05:26Just give me five minutes of your time
01:05:27Just five minutes
01:05:28And I'll be gone
01:05:29You'll never see my face again
01:05:30I promise
01:05:31Please
01:05:32I'll give you 30 seconds
01:05:33You fucking asshole
01:05:34Look, it's really important to me
01:05:35That a family lives in this house
01:05:36Not me
01:05:37Not anyone else
01:05:38But a family
01:05:39And I want it to be your family
01:05:40So
01:05:41You guys, please
01:05:42Just
01:05:43Just don't put the house in the market just yet
01:05:45Please
01:05:46You did this?
01:05:47How?
01:05:48How?
01:05:49I sold a Napoleon's hat
01:05:50A Napoleon hat
01:05:51Paid for all this?
01:05:52No, not a Napoleon's hat
01:05:53Fucking Napoleon's hat, dude
01:05:54I don't understand
01:05:55No, that stuff in the cardboard boxes in the back, okay?
01:05:56That was my dad's stuff
01:05:57That was my inheritance
01:05:58I found out it was worth millions
01:05:59Dude, I'm a fucking millionaire on top of it
01:06:01this no not a napoleon's hat fucking napoleon's hat dude i don't understand no that stuff in the
01:06:09cardboard boxes in the back okay that was my dad's stuff it was my inheritance i found out
01:06:13it was worth millions dude i'm a fucking millionaire on top of it what is it the main
01:06:22reason why i didn't want to get rid of this house and let it go just because this
01:06:26this is my family's house my childhood home i actually grew up here my whole life
01:06:33when my parents both died they left it to me so i just moved into the guest house and
01:06:39i had no other plan but to stall the sale
01:06:42so when you guys came around i just i fucking freaked out man yeah yeah you really did i'm
01:06:50ready to let it go okay and just give you guys my house to start a family here your family
01:06:56for reals you're my friend dudes you guys are my friend dudes please and i have one other
01:07:04thing that i want to show you guys just one other thing is it gonna be gross no come here
01:07:09i don't even know what to say well this is it guys this is where you're gonna start your new life
01:07:30in randy cockfield's childhood home
01:07:33i i and blake when you bring sarah into the field what are you gonna do with her
01:07:41what are you gonna do with her don't come on say it don't spoil it give me his cow
01:07:48that's right yeah is this beautiful or what guys i mean come on
01:07:52all right too long and a hug too long thank you thank you no no no no okay
01:08:09great
01:08:14and just like that he's gone
01:08:32hey got an email from randy signed it admiral cockfield which i actually think works more
01:08:51than randy i wonder where he is do i wait do i want to know well he sent a link do you want to
01:08:57watch it uh-uh fuck it i'm clicking it cover him up yo what's up blake and sarah won't you let
01:09:05you know that i'm living my life it's randy cockfield i missed you guys i bought a boat
01:09:10i'm sailing the seven seas dude illegal renner illegal
01:09:16and look who else is here it's our fuzzy buddy oh he misses you dude
01:09:27i'm gonna come visit you guys in a couple weeks so just have the guest house ready for me
01:09:33fuck that shit no he's not coming here
01:09:36you and me and your sister shit became real when i kissed her you can't be mad cause she looks like you
01:09:51tell me what the hell do you expect me to do
01:10:07she asked me to dance while you was in the bathroom and she moves that body just like you
01:10:23a couple drinks and she got too flirty
01:10:28a couple more and my thoughts got dirty
01:10:32fuck me bro got a big dick waiting for you fuck me bro
01:10:46let big daddy put it on you rough and slow
01:10:50get your bitch ass naked baby fuck me bro
01:10:54fuck me bro
01:10:56i'ma fuck you like a real man fuck you real bad
01:11:00dick thick like a beer can make you feel bad
01:11:04when you fuck me bro
01:11:06fuck me bro just fuck me bro just fuck me bro
01:11:10fuck me bro just fuck me bro
01:11:13that's right dude i want you
01:11:16i wanna decorate your muffin with my man juice
01:11:20ain't no pussy need no motherfucking candles
01:11:24but i got a couple other things we can't do
01:11:28i know that you're used to that rib eye steak
01:11:32but i'm about to give you that border house
01:11:34rock the house from the back in your mouth
01:11:37ooh swallow it up brother
01:11:40take a big old film
01:11:42ain't nobody can finna do it like i can't so
01:11:45fuck me bro
01:11:47got a big dick waiting for you fuck me bro
01:11:51let big daddy put it on you rough and slow
01:11:55get your bitch ass naked baby fuck me bro
01:11:59fuck me bro
01:12:01i'ma fuck you like a real man fuck you real bad
01:12:05dick thick like a beer can make you feel bad
01:12:09when you fuck me bro
01:12:11fuck me bro
01:12:13i'ma fuck you like a real man fuck you real bad
01:12:18dick thick like a beer can make you feel bad
01:12:22when you fuck me bro
01:12:23fuck me bro just fuck me bro
01:12:26just fuck me bro
01:12:27fuck me bro
01:12:29sit down receptive to your mouth
01:12:31video game
01:12:33the quoi
01:12:33which can make you feel bad
01:12:35after seeingore
01:12:35nick i can do
01:12:36not hate
01:12:37but i also appreciate you
01:12:38that question
01:12:38that question
01:12:39what we ought to say
01:12:40i like you
01:12:42reading it
01:12:42you
01:12:44i like for telling you
01:12:44how much
01:12:45デ��
01:12:45what's
01:12:47how much
01:12:47this
01:12:48is
01:12:49to do
01:12:49how
01:12:50you
01:12:51will
01:12:51experience
01:12:52you
01:12:53know
01:12:54if you
01:12:55you
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