- 2 months ago
"Grey Is Beautiful" is not an episode of the TV series Operation Petticoat, but it is a well-known episode from the 1959 film of the same name, starring Tony Curtis and Cary Grant. In this film, a character named Lieutenant Dolores Crandall (played by Joan O'Brien) asks the other characters to find a way to make their submarine look like something other than its bright pink color, leading to a humorous and "grey" color scheme.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00The
00:30Well, it was back to Coosing again.
00:41Repairs this time, and believe it or not,
00:43the Navy was finally starting to take notice of the Sea Tiger.
00:46Unfortunately, it wasn't quite what I had in mind.
00:50Hey, I bet the inside is lavender.
00:57Gotta be sure true.
00:58I thought you were safe.
01:00Ten bucks says they wallpapered the whole thing.
01:03Something in a floral print?
01:08I'd like to give them a print.
01:10My knuckle print.
01:12Yeah, right on there kissing.
01:14Hey, is it true what they say about you guys,
01:17that you wear lace undies?
01:21Okay, guys.
01:23That does it.
01:24Let's go, let's go.
01:28Hey, Tiger, what are you going to do?
01:32Hit me with your purse?
01:34No, I'm going to knock you on your wall.
01:36It's right here.
01:37It's a fight!
01:41What's going on?
02:03Well, sir, your wish has come true.
02:05You finally got yourself a fighting ship.
02:07Hold on!
02:09Right, get up!
02:10Well, man, I hope you're all proud of yourselves.
02:14You've been able to participate in something very rare for submariners,
02:17hand-to-hand combat.
02:19You should see those other guys, Captain.
02:21Yeah.
02:22It was my fault, sir.
02:24When those clowns wouldn't let up,
02:26I just got carried away.
02:28We saw you on a stretcher.
02:31Captain, those guys were...
02:32You should have heard.
02:34Boy, what do you got on my...
02:35Lace undies!
02:37Captain, Captain, if we weren't just so darn pink,
02:41it's just not natural.
02:43He's right, sir.
02:43He's got a point.
02:45You know, we just cannot continue this way.
02:47I mean, we don't look like a combat vessel.
02:49We look like the good ship Lollipop, right?
02:51Lieutenant's right, sir.
02:52Okay, okay.
02:54I understand.
02:55But you're not going to get the sub painted by brawling with a duck.
02:59Now, I hope Captain McBride has a few cans of gray to give us after we apologize.
03:04Sir, I...
03:05No, no, no.
03:06No, Mr. Holden.
03:08I'm going to handle this.
03:09Yes, as a matter of fact, Sherman,
03:12we do have some gray paint.
03:13Supply just came in.
03:15That's great news, sir.
03:17Yes, it is, Commander.
03:18Unfortunately, not for you.
03:20What?
03:21Sorry.
03:23Promised it to a fighting ship.
03:25Aircraft carrier, Lexington.
03:26Sir, my men are sick of a pink fighting vessel.
03:29Now, don't it take us a hundred gallons of gray paint.
03:32After that riot your men caused, Sherman,
03:34the only thing you're going to get from me is aloha,
03:36as you say long to see.
03:37Well...
03:38Which brings to mind the matter of that
03:42sticky-fingered supply officer of yours,
03:45Lieutenant...
03:46Um...
03:47Uh...
03:48Lieutenant...
03:49Holden?
03:50Holden.
03:50Nick Holden?
03:51Nick Holden, yes.
03:53Captain Sawyer told me that he was somewhat of a legend around here.
03:58A legend?
03:58Yes.
03:59Sir, I can assure you Nick Holden is not a legend.
04:01I agree, I agree, yes.
04:03Because I was surprised at how easy it was to capture him.
04:06What?
04:07Guards!
04:10Captain, we caught him in the supply warehouse.
04:13He was commandeering our entire stock of gray paint for Admiral Halsey.
04:18Sir, this is an outrage.
04:20The Admiral is having his flagship repainted,
04:23and I was merely sent ahead to see that all the details met with his satisfaction.
04:27He's cute, Sherman.
04:29Real cute.
04:30Glib and vendive.
04:32And should be on his way to the stockade for impersonating an Admiral's aide.
04:36Well, I'm sorry, sir, but that just shows you how badly we need to paint.
04:39The men are driven to desperate measures.
04:40And the only place you're going to be driven is back to your boat.
04:45Sherman, resign yourself to one thing.
04:47No Navy personnel from the Sea Tiger are going to leave this base with any gray paint.
04:51Do you read me?
04:53I read you, sir.
04:54Loud and clear.
04:56Good day, gentlemen.
04:58Your men are restricted to your boat while you're here,
05:01which I hope will not be long.
05:04Aloha!
05:04Aloha!
05:10Now, what's the last thing McBride said?
05:19No Navy personnel from the Sea Tiger are going to leave this base with any gray paint.
05:24Right, right.
05:24He didn't say anything about any Army personnel.
05:26Army?
05:27Army?
05:29I got you.
05:30I knew it, too.
05:33Okay, I won.
05:35Any luck with the paint, sir?
05:36You didn't think I would.
05:37No, you didn't win.
05:38What was that, Hoko?
05:39Well, uh, uh, any luck with the paint, sir?
05:44I'm afraid not, Uncle.
05:46Captain McBride said that no Navy personnel would ever get any gray paint from him again.
05:51Rotten luck, sir.
05:53I guess we're pink for the duration.
05:55I'm afraid so, Uncle.
05:56Unless, well, unless someone can find a way out.
06:01Carry on, Uncle.
06:03Yes, sir.
06:03Did you hear that, girls?
06:10How could we help but hear if the captain was talking loud enough?
06:13What a shame.
06:15Those men are worrying themselves sick over this.
06:17Literally sick.
06:19Well, it's true.
06:20Stress can be very dangerous, especially when they keep their emotions bottled up inside.
06:24Either heart attacks, strokes, who knows what.
06:27Which definitely makes it a medical problem.
06:29And as nurses, Army nurses, it's up for us to cope with it.
06:35Right.
06:36Why don't we get the paint?
06:38Sorry, Major.
06:42The crew is restricted.
06:43I beg your pardon.
06:45Do I look like a member of the crew?
06:47Well, let me put it another way.
06:49We are Army nurses temporarily aboard, but not assigned to a Navy ship.
06:53That means that while on land, we are subject to maritime authority,
06:57but only if directed through proper inter-service channels.
07:01Now, I have received nothing from anyone telling us to stay anywhere.
07:05Get it?
07:06Yes, ma'am.
07:07Then move it.
07:08You get the supply officer out in back, away from the paint.
07:34The girls are going to hotwire an ambulance.
07:36Lieutenant Ruth Colfax, United States Army Nurse Corps.
07:51Unattached.
07:52An unattached woman.
07:55Wonderful.
07:56Wonderful.
07:56I have to have this requisition filled.
08:03It's a medical emergency.
08:05Oh, gee, I'm sorry.
08:06Uh, I'll certainly do what I can.
08:10A retrospectoscope?
08:13Something wrong?
08:14Oh, no.
08:15Uh, it's just that we have a lot of medical supplies in back,
08:18but I don't think we have any spectros...
08:20But I don't think we have any spectros...
08:20Retros...
08:21Retros...
08:24Spectroscope.
08:27Well, do you think you could check for me?
08:29I'd be glad to have you look.
08:31Okay, try it now.
08:33Come on, Major.
08:47Nothing there.
08:48Maybe over here.
08:49We covered that row.
08:51Well, we'd better double-check.
08:54Retrospectroscopes are very small.
08:55You think we have an album?
09:00I heard the captain say it would take 100 gallons.
09:03Okay, 20 of these five-gallon cans should do it.
09:05And that's 20.
09:06Let's go.
09:07We have to signal roof.
09:10Oh, I hear sirens.
09:12Already?
09:13I just got started.
09:15It was wonderful.
09:17Bye.
09:25Sir, an ambulance is headed this way.
09:37Lieutenant Kringle's driving, sir.
09:38My duck!
09:45Quick, get these men to sickbay.
09:47On the double!
09:48All right, Mr. Watson, let's get going now.
09:50All right, sir.
09:52Major, what is going on?
09:53Stand back, Dr. Conquist.
09:54It's dangerous.
09:55An epidemic has broken out.
09:56Don't come near them.
09:57That's an order.
09:58Stand back, stand back.
09:59Keep in love.
10:01It's some sort of tropical fever.
10:03We're transporting some of the more critical cases to a hospital ship.
10:07Wow, will it be all right?
10:08All we can do is pray.
10:09I mean, pray.
10:11Take it easy there.
10:13Be careful.
10:14Poor devils.
10:24Sir, it's great pain.
10:27Yes, they're in great pain.
10:29Stand back.
10:30Didn't you hear the major?
10:31That's contagious, the poor devils.
10:34The last of them, Captain.
10:35You can take off now.
10:37Okay, major.
10:38All right, let's get underway, Mr. Watson.
10:40Aye, aye, sir.
10:41As we left Koo Sing, I was thrilled that our days as a pink laughingstock were almost over.
10:49My only problem now was Nick Holden.
10:51There's nothing quite like a confidence man who's lost his confidence.
10:56You think maybe I've lost it?
10:58Have I lost my touch?
10:59No.
10:59Well, you know, I wouldn't say that you've lost it.
11:01Well, maybe it's a different...
11:02Maybe...
11:04Maybe I should have tried the old Navy chaplain route.
11:08Mr. Holden, you realize there's a war going on?
11:11What war is that?
11:14The war we're trying to get into.
11:16I have something very exciting for you to do in this war.
11:20I want you to be my new diving officer.
11:23Diving officer?
11:25No, I don't...
11:26Skipper, that wouldn't work.
11:27I mean, I've lost it.
11:28Can't you see that?
11:28It's gone.
11:29You better find it, Mr. Holden.
11:31Mr. Watson's been doing double duty.
11:33No more discussion, that's it.
11:34You're my new diving officer.
11:35Whatever you say.
11:37Now, are you even remotely acquainted with the duties of a diving officer?
11:41Doesn't it have something to do with...
11:43Diving?
11:45Yes!
11:45Yes, it does!
11:46You guys are wonderful.
11:47Come on, let's go.
11:49Good weekend.
11:54Captain!
11:55Yes.
11:55St. Lomas Island, just off the starboard, sir.
11:57Thank you, Mr. Watson.
11:58I'll tell the men to break out the paint and start right away.
12:00Mr. Watson.
12:01Yes, sir.
12:02Don't you think we'd better surface before we start painting?
12:05Oh, yes, sir.
12:06That's a good idea, sir.
12:08Thank you, sir.
12:09Thank you, Mr. Watson.
12:10You're right back, Skipper.
12:11I'm just going to organize the paint.
12:12Mr. Holden, I have other plans for you, such as a written examination.
12:17Boy.
12:17Oh, come on, Captain.
12:21Hasn't this gone far enough?
12:24It hasn't.
12:27As we moored off St. Lomas, Mr. Holden may have been miserable.
12:31But for the rest of us, it was an historic moment.
12:34The sea tiger was finally going to stop blushing.
12:36Here you are, sir.
12:38A request from the crew.
12:40We want you to take the first swipe.
12:41All right.
12:56Now to our lovely supply detail, Major Hayley.
12:59Oh, okay.
13:00All right, let's paint.
13:11Stroke!
13:17Stroke!
13:19Stroke!
13:23Okay, good.
13:25Want to try to get some on the boat now?
13:28Stroke!
13:30Stroke!
13:32Goodbye, pink!
13:34Hello, drink!
13:36I can't believe I did that.
13:38I believe.
13:41Hi.
13:45Hello.
13:46Hi, how are you?
13:47Good.
13:47Barbara, you don't happen to know the location of the hydrostatic piston, do you?
13:54You know, I almost wish we'd never gotten that paint.
13:56Oh, come on, why?
13:57You guys were terrific.
13:59The ambulance, the stretchers.
14:01Stand back, they're contagious.
14:02That was beautiful.
14:04I hate what it's done to you.
14:05Oh, now, don't be silly.
14:06Look, it's about time I learned how to be a submariner, right?
14:11I'm sorry.
14:12Mr. Holden, this is the captain.
14:14You have one hour to finish your exam.
14:17Lieutenant Duran, your paintbrush is waiting.
14:20That's all.
14:27Way back out.
14:28There's just no time to kick the bucket.
14:39We're all finished, sir.
14:40Doesn't she look beautiful?
14:42Certainly does, Mr. Stovall.
14:43Gray is beautiful.
14:45Just one question, sir.
14:46What's that?
14:47How do I get my skin back to pink?
14:49You're a kidder.
14:51Here you are, sir, all done.
14:52Ah, that was quick.
14:54Well, you know, time flies when you're having fun.
14:57How do you like the new paint job?
15:00Oh, well, uh, gray is not one of my favorite colors,
15:03but if it makes you happy...
15:04Makes me ecstatic.
15:06And now for your moment of triumph, Mr. Holden.
15:08Are you ready for part two of the exam?
15:11Part two?
15:12Mm-hmm.
15:13Sir, uh, I'm gonna have a mutiny on my hands,
15:16namely my fingers.
15:17They refuse to hold another pencil.
15:19Don't need to worry, Mr. Holden.
15:21You won't need one.
15:22But as diving officer,
15:24you're taking her down.
15:27Down?
15:29Me?
15:31Now?
15:36And so, as soon as the paint had dried,
15:38we took out to sea,
15:40proud of our new gray coat
15:41and anxiously awaiting the debut
15:43of our new diving officer.
15:47Mr. Holden, she's all yours.
15:49Take over.
15:50Aye, aye, sir.
15:52Rig for dive.
15:58Rig for dive.
15:59Aye, aye, sir.
16:00All vents closed.
16:01All masks down.
16:03Straight board, sir.
16:06Very well.
16:08Take her down.
16:09Take her down.
16:10Dive.
16:11Dive.
16:12Dive.
16:13Dive.
16:13Dive.
16:14All ahead, one-third.
16:20All ahead, one-third.
16:20All ahead, one-third.
16:22Aye, sir.
16:24Uh, steady as she goes.
16:26Steady as she goes.
16:27What's next?
16:28What's next?
16:28Don't tell me.
16:29Don't tell me.
16:30Oh, blow buoyancy.
16:38Yeah.
16:39Blow buoyancy.
16:43Watch your trim.
16:44Watch your trim.
16:4510.
16:49Ah, 10 degrees on the bow planes.
16:5110 degrees on bow planes.
16:53100 feet.
16:54Trim satisfactory.
16:56Mr. Holden, you're home.
16:58Level off.
16:59Level off.
16:59Zero degrees on the bow planes.
17:01All come out of the check release.
17:01Left full rudder.
17:02All come out of the check release.
17:02Come around to course.
17:033-0-9.
17:05All ahead, full.
17:06All ahead, full.
17:07That's okay, boss.
17:08Well done.
17:09Thank you, sir.
17:09Good job.
17:10Good job.
17:11Good job.
17:17This message just came through.
17:20It's from Subpack.
17:21It's marked urgent.
17:22Uh-oh.
17:24Return to Coos Sing.
17:25Immediately.
17:26Repeat.
17:27Immediately.
17:27This is an order.
17:28Oh, no.
17:29Captain McBride must have traced that missing paint back to us.
17:32Of course.
17:32Nobody bothered to pay off the MPs.
17:34Now, I should have thought of that.
17:35I didn't know this was going to happen, sir.
17:37What are we going to do?
17:38What can we do?
17:39We return to Coos Sing.
17:45See anything, sir?
17:47No.
17:47Oh, yeah.
17:47Wait a minute.
17:48Wait a minute.
17:48Yes.
17:49There he is.
17:50Captain McBride's on the dock.
17:51Waiting for us with two truckloads of MPs.
17:54Down, Stove.
17:56Get the hats, my love, pretty.
17:57Go ahead, Mr. Stovell.
17:59It's grand larceny, sir.
18:00The nurses will be court-martialed.
18:02No, no.
18:02It's my responsibility, Mr. Watson.
18:04You could lose your command over this, sir.
18:05There must be something we can do.
18:07Some story we can tell him.
18:08I don't think so, Mr. Holden.
18:10As soon as he sees this gray hawk, we've had it.
18:13Sir?
18:13Yes.
18:15You're not going to believe this.
18:16What?
18:17Something wrong?
18:18This, you've got to see.
18:20Mm-hmm.
18:21Oh, will you look at this?
18:38It's pink!
18:40Oh, no!
18:41Oh, but it's pink!
18:42Oh!
18:42Oh!
18:43Oh, no!
18:43I don't believe this.
18:45Pink is a baby's bottle!
18:47I don't know.
18:48It happened to me.
18:48It happened, but we're safe.
18:50We're off the hook with Captain McBride.
18:52Yay!
18:54But I don't understand, sir.
18:56What's that?
18:57The paint was completely dry.
18:59How could it have washed off?
19:01Obviously, Mr. Watson, it was not the right kind of paint.
19:03It was the wrong kind of paint?
19:05Water-soluble!
19:06Water-soluble?
19:07Of course!
19:08For painting inside?
19:10Sir, the nurses brought back the wrong paint.
19:13Unless our girls.
19:14You know something, men?
19:16Paint sort of grows on you.
19:17Doesn't it?
19:28Water-soluble!
19:29Water-soluble, sir.
19:30The Sea Tiger has returned as ordered.
19:32Sir, I'm sure it was the Sea Tiger.
19:34I'm positive.
19:36Something wrong, sir.
19:37My aide seems to think he saw something he obviously didn't.
19:42But I did, sir.
19:44When I flew over the Sea Tiger on our observation plane, it was completely gray.
19:49And now it's pink.
19:53Shove off, Commander.
19:55And, uh, sorry about the delay.
19:58All right, sir.
19:59What is this?
20:08What?
20:13Speak up, sailor.
20:15What is that gray paint doing on your hand?
20:18Uh, I, I, I, I, I, I...
20:21Yes, sir.
20:22Hmm?
20:22Captain?
20:23Hmm?
20:24Yes.
20:25Uh, you'll have to excuse Chief Malumfrey.
20:27He's a very modest man.
20:28Just what does modesty have to do with gray paint on that man's hand?
20:33You mind if I tell him?
20:33Is it all right?
20:34No.
20:34Well, sir, as you can see, Chief Malumfrey is a little reluctant to talk about it, but
20:41I can assure you that he is a noble, honest, dedicated, religious man who, on his own
20:47time, paddled ashore and single-handedly, working throughout the night, painted Father
20:55McClanahan's chapel.
20:57Father McClanahan?
21:00Yes, sir.
21:01On St. Lomas Island, sir.
21:03He has a little mission there for the natives, and the chapel, well, frankly, sir, the chapel
21:08was a disgrace, weather-beaten, cracking, and it looked awful, and this man took it
21:14upon himself, by using the few cans of gray paint which he had frugally stowed away for
21:19himself, to restore this house of worship back to its respectability.
21:26I'd like to believe that.
21:28I would like for you, too, sir.
21:34Well done, Chief.
21:36Thank you, sir.
21:38Carry on, Commander.
21:41And aloha.
21:43Aloha, sir.
21:46Thank you for getting underway.
21:48Thank you for getting underway.
21:51Welcome back, Mr. Holden.
21:53Thank you, sir.
21:54It's good to be here.
22:16Bye-bye.
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