- 2 months ago
Lt. Holden plays Cupid when he tries to help Chief Molumphrey recover from a "Dear John" ...
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Short filmTranscript
00:00The
00:30mail call is always a happy interlude in wartime neither rain nor sleet nor a choppy sea can dampen
00:45the jubilation of all concerned only lieutenant Crandall can accomplish that feat
01:00I think she did it again looks that way they're soaking wet that mail's never gonna dry
01:16all right you guys stop blaming lieutenant Crandall wasn't her fault somebody shoved her
01:29she's a nice lady and the next guy that bum wraps her is gonna get a fat lip
01:35wouldn't have said it better myself
01:39got anything interesting Sam who knows it's so smeared dear Sam something something the most
01:52exciting something something his trial comes up in something something hope you are something
02:03that letter is really something don't write a mail order service sir no these are just from pen pals
02:12this were my mail I wouldn't bother reading it I'd settle for the envelope be my guest hey chief Jody
02:20sent me a picture of the twins they look just like me you sure you're not holding it upside down
02:26it's very funny I thought it was worth a smile they've got to be kidding I ordered the six months
02:33ago before I enlisted and now they're sending it to me well fill it up now lieutenant oh it's adorable
02:39that letter should be dry by now Gilardo I'm pressing the wrinkles out of it sir
02:52Gilardo I want to read it I don't want to wear it
02:56is something wrong chief whatever was in that letter sure wasn't good news
03:12at least he got to read his
03:16Dolores it's not true the crew does not hate you they do and I don't blame the major it's not
03:32your fault the mail got dunked yes it was no no it was an accident accident what about the time I
03:40knocked Seaman Williams overboard or bumped Captain Sawyer into a punch hole or my real biggie when I
03:46torpedoed a truck I still can't figure out how you manage that one let's face it major the Japanese
03:53won't sink this submarine I will
03:56captain captain I've got to talk to you about lieutenant Crandall she says she is not getting
04:13out from under the covers until she gets off this boat well the idea does have its merits
04:18I'll have a talk with her thanks
04:23lieutenant Crandall as commanding officer of the submarine
04:39I order you to surface immediately
04:43oh that's better now let's talk well I was just trying to stay out of everybody's way before I
04:56caused another accident sir well accidents are a state of mind if you think you're gonna have an
05:03accident you have one you bring it on yourself now you just don't think about it and you won't
05:09have any you think that's my problem sure now dry your eyes and I'll buy a cup of coffee in the
05:17wardroom okay it'll just take me a minute oh I dropped your purse
05:23level off at a hundred level off at a hundred Williams stow that gum I said stow it so we had a
05:49doubleheader going on board the sea tiger lieutenant Crandall was buried under her blanket and Chief
05:54Malumphrey was on the warpath that letter he'd received at mail call had changed him completely
05:59look something's obviously bothering you do you care to talk about it no sir good I'm all ears I'm sorry sir but I don't want to talk about it's personal not when it affects the morale of the crew Chief
06:06it's a dear John letter wasn't it yes sir it was from Evelyn I'm sorry chief really sorry but uh well you're not the first one to get a dear John letter you know you know a dear John letter is uh
06:20an occupational hazard of wartime anybody you can get him I can get him you can get him anyone you don't take it out on the rest of the crew do you
06:27I'm sorry that kind of thing undermines the boat you know that Chief you have to solve your problems where the enemy will solve them for many days
06:38I can take it out on the rest of the crew do you
06:40don't take it out on the rest of the crew do you
06:50that kind of thing undermines the boat you know that Chief you have to solve your problems with the enemy we'll solve them for you
06:57of them for you. I'm sorry, sir. I'm sorry to let you down. I'll try to snap out of it. Thank you, Captain.
07:07Thank you. Oh, look in the world. What a big box. Remember, if you're dressed like this, it's not the cost. It's the upkeep.
07:15Yeah, what does keep it up? An endowment policy. Why don't you try it on? Oh, no thanks. I'm really not moving.
07:23Oh, come on. Come on. The new gown is the greatest pick-me-up of girl. Come on. Get up here. Come on.
07:33She'll look great in that with your hair. Okay, okay. I'll try it on, but I guarantee I'm going to put a rip in it.
07:39And you do, and we'll all get erected. Okay, great. Here, let me help you.
07:47Nick, you've got to help me out. Dolores has got this problem. She can't seem to shake it.
07:51Well, why the chuckle? Well, I was just sitting here trying to figure out what to do about Chief Lumphrey. He's got a problem, too.
08:00He got a dear Herbert letter. Oh, that's rough. Poor guy.
08:04Poor crew. He's about to drive everybody AWOL.
08:07Nick, why didn't you let Commander Sherman handle it?
08:09No, the captain doesn't know how to deal with emotional problems like this. He goes strictly by the book, you know.
08:14Well, this calls for a person with finesse, with intuition, with brilliant ideas. I've got it. It's obvious.
08:26Mulumphrey has a problem. Lieutenant Crandall has a problem, right?
08:29Right.
08:30Well, and?
08:32So we have two people who need a shoulder to cry on, right?
08:36Right.
08:36All I have to do is put the two shoulders together.
08:40Voila.
08:41Two problems solved.
08:43Oh, it looks beautiful.
08:45Gorgeous.
08:45I knew it would be pretty good.
08:47I didn't know it was just beautiful.
08:49It's too tight.
08:50Yeah, but in all the right places.
08:52Can I come in?
08:53Don't you believe in knocking?
08:55Only people I don't like.
08:57Look at you.
08:58Turn off the lights and call in the law.
09:01First engines. Goodbye, Lieutenant.
09:03Major, I'm sorry. It's official business. Dolores, please.
09:06Come on.
09:10Did I do something wrong again, Mr. Holden?
09:12No, no, Dolores. No. I need your advice.
09:15My advice?
09:16Yes. I...
09:23I'm worried about Mulumphrey.
09:24Chief Mulumphrey?
09:26Chief Mulumphrey, yes.
09:27Dolores, the reason he's been acting so strange lately
09:30is because he got a Dear John letter from his girlfriend, Evelyn.
09:34Oh, no.
09:35How could she do that to him?
09:37Well, war is hell.
09:38That is even postage due.
09:40See, now, I'm afraid that if he doesn't get some help soon, he's...
09:43Excuse me.
09:48He's gonna crack up, Dolores.
09:50You don't know. He doesn't feel like a man anymore.
09:52He feels rejected. He feels depressed.
09:55Well, Meg, why don't you talk to him?
09:57You're so good about psychology.
09:58Dolores, I'm afraid that this kind of...
10:02This requires a woman's touch, Dolores.
10:11It's just too delicate a matter for a man.
10:14I guess poor Herbert's habit.
10:17Nick.
10:18Nick?
10:19Why don't I talk to him?
10:20You?
10:21Yes.
10:22But...
10:22I'll never forget how Chief Malumfrey stood up for me
10:30when I pulled that mailbag boo-boo.
10:32Oh, but I couldn't impose on you.
10:33Oh, no, Mr. Holden.
10:35I want to help Chief Malumfrey.
10:37It's my duty as a nurse.
10:38I insist.
10:40Well, if you insist, fine.
10:42Oh, goody.
10:43Goody.
10:44I'll get out of this immediately and I'll be right back.
10:47Fine.
10:47Uh, no.
10:48Uh, you, uh...
10:50You better keep the dress on, Dolores.
10:53For medicinal purposes.
10:57Something has got to be done for that poor girl.
10:59She thinks everybody blames her for what happened to the mail.
11:03That wasn't her fault.
11:04It was an accident.
11:05I know that, but you're the only one who can convince her of that.
11:08Me?
11:09Convince a woman of anything?
11:11I sure didn't convince everyone.
11:14You're not just anybody, Herbert.
11:16You're Chief of the boat.
11:19And Lieutenant Crandall would listen to you.
11:21You think so?
11:22I know so, Chief.
11:24You could really help her out.
11:26You could...
11:26You could show her around the boat.
11:28You could help her get acclimated
11:29so she doesn't keep touching all the wrong gadgets
11:31and causing all these accidents.
11:33Well, if, uh...
11:34If you think it would help.
11:36It would do wonders, Chief.
11:37Believe me, wonders.
11:38Now, she's going to be in sickbay in 15 minutes.
11:40Now, I'm counting on you, buddy.
11:42Right?
11:45Confidence.
12:04Penny, random!
12:04I...
12:05I...
12:06Whoa...
12:08Oh!
12:08Something wrong, Chief?
12:10No!
12:10No, no, no, no.
12:12Couldn't, uh...
12:12Couldn't be better.
12:14Gee!
12:15Evelyn had a dress almost like that.
12:17Um, she was arranged a little differently.
12:21Is Evelyn your girl back home?
12:23I don't want to talk about her.
12:24Okay.
12:25I just wanted to tell you that I think that...
12:28You...
12:29You're taller than I am, aren't you?
12:31Not necessarily.
12:33Evelyn used to stoop that way.
12:35Almost.
12:36That way.
12:38Why don't we talk about Evelyn?
12:40I don't want to talk about her.
12:43I...
12:43I...
12:44I...
12:46I...
12:46I just wanted to say that, um, I...
12:49What happened on deck with the mail, it wasn't your fault at all.
12:53It could have happened to anybody.
12:55That's very sweet of you to say so, Chief.
12:57It is?
12:58Well, uh...
12:59I think it's sweet of you to say it's sweet that it was sweet of me.
13:02Ah, Chief, I'm looking all over for you.
13:04Lieutenant Prandall, how glad to see you out from under your blanket.
13:14Is that, uh, the new uniform of the day?
13:18Or the night?
13:19Uh, well, it belongs to Lieutenant Reed, sir, and I just threw it on.
13:24You almost missed.
13:26Captain, I was just trying it on, and then something came up, and I'll take it off immediately.
13:31All right.
13:32Tell me, Chief, why aren't you wearing a tuxedo?
13:42Well, uh, you see, I was trying to get Lieutenant Prandall over her, uh, uh, phobias about accidents, sir.
13:50Uh-huh.
13:51I detect the fine hand and demented mind of Lieutenant Holden.
13:55Sir?
14:00Captain?
14:00Very strange, sir.
14:03There's no water.
14:05It's impossible.
14:06We just filled our tank.
14:12You're right.
14:13There's no water.
14:14Should we get Mr. Holden?
14:15Yes.
14:16It's a good idea.
14:17Oh, never mind.
14:17Here he is now.
14:18I'll take care of him, Mr. Watson.
14:19Oh, thank you, sir.
14:21Excuse me.
14:22Excuse me.
14:23I'd like to talk to you.
14:24Well, that's good.
14:24I'd like to talk to you, too.
14:25Go ahead.
14:26I'm all ears.
14:26Oh, no, no, no.
14:27You go first.
14:28You're the captain.
14:29Glad you noticed.
14:31Open the shower, please.
14:40Turn on the water.
14:41Well, you are aware that I am fully clothed.
14:46Water, Mr. Holden.
14:48Pull this chain.
14:56No water.
14:57Brilliant deduction, Mr. Holden.
14:59Didn't you fill it with fresh water four days ago?
15:01I sure did.
15:02It's those nurses.
15:03They spend more than their alive time in the shower.
15:06Possibly.
15:06It's also possible that you may be hatching a scheme.
15:10A scheme?
15:11Me, sir?
15:12Yes, you, sir.
15:14What sort of scheme would that be?
15:16Well, let's say to send our Chief Malumfrey and Lieutenant Crandall to a romantic island
15:22in order to find fresh water.
15:24Sir, that would be the furthest thing from my mind.
15:27Good.
15:27Because it's also possible to find fresh water by simply turning on the main supply valve.
15:39Son of a gun.
15:40I wonder who turned that off.
15:42Mr. Holden?
15:44Operation Cupid is scrubbed.
15:50Now, this is the forward torpedo room.
15:53To avoid accident in this room, you should not touch the...
15:56Herbert.
15:56I know.
15:57You've shown it to me twice.
15:59As a matter of fact, you've shown me every compartment in this boat twice.
16:03I have.
16:04Yes.
16:06You know, Dolores, when I'm with you, I forget where I am or where I've been.
16:11And I even forget about Evelyn.
16:14Good for you.
16:15No.
16:15Good for you.
16:16You make me feel like a man again.
16:19You make me feel like a man again.
16:20I have.
16:23Well, I got to be getting back to Claire.
16:26I have to relieve her in sickbay.
16:28Thank you for spending so much time with me, Herbert.
16:33You're a very nice person.
16:35I feel the same way about you, Dolores.
16:44Major, what am I going to do?
16:46I think Chief Malumfrey is falling in love with me.
16:49Naturally, it's springtime on the sea, Tiger.
16:53I could see it coming.
16:55I should have stayed underneath my blanket.
16:57Perhaps you should have worn the blanket over that dress.
17:01I think Nick Holden has gone a little too far this time.
17:06I'm going to talk to the captain.
17:07Oh, no.
17:08Please, let me talk to him.
17:11Okay.
17:12But keep the curtain open.
17:15Okay?
17:15Okay.
17:19Sir, you don't take sugar in your coffee.
17:21That's for Lieutenant Crandall.
17:22What?
17:22I'm just trying to be a gentleman.
17:24Hey, what's this?
17:31Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you, Herbert.
17:38Excuse me.
17:39I smell something burning.
17:43Well, I can tell you one thing.
17:45Malumfrey is never going to make Poet Laureate.
17:49What are we going to do, Captain?
17:51I can't just walk right in there and tell Malumfrey I'll never be serious about him.
17:56I'll take care of it for you, Lieutenant.
17:57Any sign of floating mines, Mr. Watson?
18:02No, sir.
18:03That's a bit of false alarm.
18:04Well, we just have to keep our eyes open.
18:06I see our chief of the boat is still in Never Never Land.
18:09Malumfrey!
18:12Malumfrey!
18:14Oh, yeah, Captain!
18:16What can I do for you?
18:17Chief, we're in enemy waters.
18:18All hands should keep it full alert.
18:20Enemy aircraft at 10 o'clock.
18:22Clear the deck!
18:23Dive!
18:23Dive!
18:24All ahead, flight!
18:27Maximum angle on the diving plane.
18:31Maximum angle on the diving plane.
18:32Secure from diesels.
18:34Secure from diesels.
18:34Full battery power.
18:36Full battery power.
18:37What is that?
18:38What the?
18:38The crime has wasn't in war.
18:40No, there's only aircraft in the area.
18:49Come on, Mr. Watson, secure that hatch.
18:52Secure it.
18:52The last man off the bridge should have secured that hatch.
18:57Who was it?
19:02Well, you did it.
19:03You really did it this time.
19:05You have Malumfrey so lovesick, he almost flooded the boat.
19:08Oh, believe me, sir, I've learned my lesson.
19:10I don't believe it.
19:11I just don't believe it.
19:12Oh, I have.
19:13I have.
19:14Hey, I know when I'm in over my head.
19:15Now, you're the captain.
19:16From now on, I'm going to let you handle all the personnel problems.
19:19Ha, ha, ha.
19:20No, you don't.
19:21No.
19:22This is your mess.
19:23You're going to clean it up.
19:25I've got to be this year's prize bonehead.
19:27You said it, I didn't.
19:29Letting Evelyn drive me bonkers.
19:31Oh, almost sinking the boat.
19:32What a lame brain.
19:34I can't argue with Ed.
19:35But at least it snapped me out of it.
19:37Why didn't you stop me, Sam?
19:38How can you let me lead Dolores on that way?
19:40Letting her fall in love with me.
19:43I'm not going to let her down gently.
19:47Talk to Mr. Holden.
19:48Thanks for the advice, Sam.
19:51Anytime.
19:53You mean you're not in love with Dolores?
19:56Well, you've been giving a pretty good imitation of it.
19:59I guess the reason I went bananas over Dolores was I was trying to get back at Evelyn.
20:02But to leave me at Hatch open made my brain right again.
20:06Well, now there's a therapy I bet even Dr. Floyd didn't know about.
20:10She's not even my type.
20:11She's too tall and skinny.
20:13Skinny?
20:13Dolores?
20:14Come on.
20:15How am I going to tell her without breaking her heart?
20:17I hate to see a woman cry.
20:20Well, it will come as a shock to her, Chief, I'm sure.
20:23The captain, too.
20:24What should I do, Mr. Holden?
20:26Ah, well, it's a delicate situation, Chief.
20:30I'll tell you what, I'll break the news to her.
20:32Her tears won't hurt me too much.
20:34Thanks, Mr. Holden.
20:35You're a real pal.
20:37We tried.
20:37Live and let live always, sir.
20:53Hello, Captain.
20:54Hello there.
20:54Lieutenant.
20:55Hi.
20:55Mr. Holden, I want to thank you for having that discussion with Chief Lumphrey.
21:00We just had a little talk and everything's fine.
21:02Good, good.
21:03And so am I, Captain.
21:04Well.
21:05I think we both learned something from that.
21:07Well, that's wonderful.
21:08Ramone, please.
21:10Ah, ah, ah, ah, no.
21:11Captain?
21:12Don't worry.
21:13It's the new me.
21:14Oh, no.
21:30Don't touch it, Captain.
21:32I'll get it.
21:38Captain, I'm sorry.
21:40Are you all right?
21:43I'm fine.
21:44I'm fine.
22:14I'm fine.
22:19I'm fine.
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