- 2 months ago
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
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00:01:47Sometimes Mommy tells me a story. Will you tell me one?
00:01:50No, not right now, Brian.
00:01:53I have to press the cat and vacuum the ceiling. Maybe later.
00:01:57Oh, please, just one.
00:01:59Brian.
00:02:00Please!
00:02:04Any story in particular?
00:02:07Three little pigs, Jack and the Beanstalk?
00:02:10I don't care.
00:02:12Puss in boots, Rumpelstiltskin?
00:02:15Whatever.
00:02:17Princess and the Pea, Ugly Duckling, Sleeping Beauty.
00:02:21If you like.
00:02:23Brian, what story?
00:02:25Mmm, why don't you make one up?
00:02:30Alright.
00:02:32The three little pigs were blown out of their digs
00:02:37And their houses and huts were despoiled
00:02:41The wolf huffed and puffed till the pigs cried enough
00:02:46How can this wicked monster be foiled?
00:02:50Two pigs were eaten
00:02:52Before he was beaten
00:02:54Down the chimney the wolf was hard, boy, oh
00:03:00It's no wonder why I turned out like I did
00:03:04Remembering my bedtime tales as a kid
00:03:09It's no wonder why I turned out like I did
00:03:13Remembering my bedtime tales as a kid
00:03:19A boy strong and proud
00:03:29A boy strong and proud climbed way up to the clouds
00:03:31On a product of magic being spinach
00:03:35Brave and defiant, he swindled the giant
00:03:37Whose wealth came from plundering village
00:03:41Whose wealth came from plundering village
00:03:43Then he picked up an axe
00:03:45Then he picked up an axe
00:03:47Gave the beanstalk some wax
00:03:49Dumped the giant on most of the village
00:03:53It's no wonder why I turned out like I did
00:03:55It's no wonder why I turned out like I did
00:03:59Remembering my bedtime tales as a kid
00:04:03It's no wonder why I turned out like I did
00:04:09Remembering my bedtime tales as a kid
00:04:15In the cloak of the night
00:04:17I awake with a fright
00:04:19Pull the blanket over my hand
00:04:23You can say I'm insane
00:04:26But it's stuck in my brain
00:04:28With those good skins under my bed
00:04:41Some call it obscene
00:04:43But the violence on screen
00:04:45Vents the internal turmoil of drama
00:04:49Those buckets of gore
00:04:52Were spilled ages before
00:04:55George Romero, Hitchcock
00:04:57Or the karma
00:04:59And our fears and our stress
00:05:01Through our times been expressed
00:05:04Through the fairytale symbolic trauma
00:05:08It's no wonder why we turned out like we did
00:05:13Remembering our bedtime tales as kids
00:05:18It's no wonder why we turned out like we did
00:05:22Remembering our bedtime tales as kids
00:05:27It's no wonder why we turned out like we did
00:05:32Remembering our bedtime tales as kids
00:05:36It's no wonder why we turned out like we did
00:05:41Remembering our bedtime tales as kids
00:05:45Um, once upon a time, a long, long time ago, there was a fisherman's son named Peter.
00:05:54He was all alone in the world.
00:05:57So it came to pass, since he had no money, he was sold into slavery, bought by two evil
00:06:03witches.
00:06:05So then, one day, he was sent out.
00:06:15Good?
00:06:25You bet it is.
00:06:28Does my heart good to see a handsome lad enjoy my cooking.
00:06:35The secret is baby slugs.
00:06:39The big ones are too chewy.
00:06:40You have to wait for the really rainy days.
00:06:46But you are worth it.
00:06:50You're making me sick.
00:06:53Get up, boy.
00:06:55There's work to be done.
00:06:57Go to the village.
00:06:59Find the local person.
00:07:01If I'm not wrong, he fancies himself.
00:07:05Think she's quite a lady, isn't it?
00:07:07Are you listening to me, boy?
00:07:09Tell him you know two lovely ladies who are just dying to meet him.
00:07:17And you lead him here.
00:07:19What lovely ladies?
00:07:20Never you mind.
00:07:22Make sure he has a sip of that.
00:07:29Leave the rest to me.
00:07:31You wouldn't be tricking me now, would you, boy?
00:07:39They are beautiful, huh?
00:07:41Right.
00:07:43Yes, they are.
00:07:44They got all their teeth.
00:07:46Can't kiss a tart with rotten teeth, you know.
00:07:49I wouldn't suppose.
00:07:51Are they, are they sassy?
00:07:56You know.
00:07:58Sassy.
00:08:04Sassy, huh?
00:08:11Boy, what did you say your name was again?
00:08:15Peter?
00:08:16I see you in my church.
00:08:26They're almost here.
00:08:29Well, get ready.
00:08:42It's all right, boy.
00:08:43I can find my way.
00:08:46Where's my sassy?
00:08:53Oh, grand.
00:09:06But you ladies have never had such a prominent man as I, huh?
00:09:10Yes.
00:09:16You little vixens.
00:09:34It's a bit of bondage, eh?
00:09:36Oh, yeah.
00:09:43Oh, yeah.
00:09:47Oh, yeah.
00:09:47As the lad told you that I have the largest parsonage in the district, and my flock adore me.
00:10:10They pray to me.
00:10:11They pray to me, you know.
00:10:12Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:10:13Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:10:14Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:10:15Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:10:17Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:10:25So that's what you're up to, huh?
00:10:42I can't lose a chick-shrink or a squeak.
00:10:46What is this stuff, anyway?
00:10:50Get the stuff off of me!
00:10:54Here we are.
00:11:23Take the divine left hand from a holy man, the one that mirrors his heart.
00:11:30Well, nothing holy about that one.
00:11:33Pay attention!
00:11:35Brain of a black cat, heart of an eel, grind them together until they congeal.
00:11:45Brain of a black cat, brain of a black cat.
00:11:52What was it, heart of a weasel?
00:11:55No, no fat old fool, an eel, an eel!
00:11:58I'm not fat!
00:12:00You're not fat.
00:12:02Eel.
00:12:03Eel.
00:12:04Eel.
00:12:05No eel!
00:12:07Eel.
00:12:08Eel.
00:12:09Eel.
00:12:10Eel.
00:12:11Eel.
00:12:12Eel.
00:12:13Eel.
00:12:14Eel.
00:12:15Eel.
00:12:16Eel.
00:12:17Eel.
00:12:18Eel.
00:12:19Eel.
00:12:20Eel.
00:12:21Eel.
00:12:22Eel.
00:12:23Eel.
00:12:24Eel.
00:12:25Eel.
00:12:26Eel.
00:12:27Eel.
00:12:28Eel.
00:12:29Eel.
00:12:30Eel.
00:12:31Eel.
00:12:32Eel.
00:12:33Eel.
00:12:34Eel.
00:12:35Eel.
00:12:36Eel.
00:12:37Eel.
00:12:38Eel.
00:12:39Eel.
00:12:40Eel.
00:12:41Eel.
00:12:42Eel.
00:12:43Eel.
00:12:44Eel.
00:12:45Eel.
00:12:46Eel.
00:12:47Eel.
00:12:48Eel.
00:12:49Eel.
00:12:50Eel.
00:12:51Eel.
00:12:52Eel.
00:12:53Eel.
00:12:54Eel.
00:12:55West?
00:12:58The Forfers Field.
00:13:25Peter, come along!
00:13:41Stop playing with the nice man!
00:13:55What did I tell you about talking to strangers?
00:14:00Is this it? Did we find her?
00:14:02Shh!
00:14:04Dad!
00:14:07Dad!
00:14:08What is it, Hannibal?
00:14:16She's here.
00:14:20She's here.
00:14:23Get it!
00:14:49Get it!
00:14:50Ugh!
00:14:56Do you know it?
00:15:02Oh!
00:15:06Oh!
00:15:08Oh!
00:15:12Oh!
00:15:14Oh!
00:15:16Oh!
00:15:18Oh!
00:15:20Oh!
00:15:22Oh!
00:15:24Oh!
00:15:34Oh!
00:15:36Oh!
00:15:38Oh!
00:15:40Oh!
00:15:42Oh!
00:15:44I don't know.
00:16:14I don't know.
00:16:44I don't know.
00:17:14I don't know.
00:17:15I don't know.
00:17:17Why did you wait so long to dig your sister Magog up anyway?
00:17:20You see, Peter, the spell to bring her back can only be passed when the full moon and the
00:17:31solstice come together on Friday.
00:17:34Once every 36 years.
00:17:3837.
00:17:3937?
00:17:41Are you sure?
00:17:42No.
00:17:43I spent the last 28 years pulling it out.
00:17:47You're not out.
00:17:48Of course I'm sure, stupid.
00:17:50I'm not stupid.
00:17:52You are stupid.
00:17:53Mother always said so.
00:17:55Mother always liked you best.
00:17:57Mother was a good woman.
00:17:58Nasty woman.
00:17:59She was.
00:18:00Is that it?
00:18:01Are we ready?
00:18:02No.
00:18:03There's one last ingredient to be got.
00:18:04This is your busy day, boy.
00:18:05Yes.
00:18:06Yeah.
00:18:07Two.
00:18:08Two.
00:18:09Can't lure the tortoise.
00:18:10You can't lure the tortoise on the ground.
00:18:11Can't lure the tortoise in the ground.
00:18:12This is your busy day, boy.
00:18:14is that it are we ready now he's one last ingredient to be got
00:18:25this is your busy day boy
00:18:31your hair too can't lure the sort of girl we need if you're all a mess remember squeaky clean
00:18:45here maybe i'd better help you no no no ferlander i can do it
00:18:51can i have my clothes now please now
00:19:04ma'am
00:19:08what did you mean when you said that sort of girl
00:19:14oh my good time
00:19:17ma'am
00:19:20mm-hmm i don't mind
00:19:23going out and getting you herbs and animals for your magic
00:19:27but i didn't know you were going to hurt that priest
00:19:30we do what we have to do
00:19:33yeah but killing people
00:19:36there are some things you just won't understand
00:19:40leave it to hannacle and me
00:19:45leave what to you and me
00:19:48what's his problem he don't like you and me killing people
00:19:55that's too bad isn't it you do as you're told you lazy turd
00:20:02now hurry up the both of you
00:20:09reminds me of myself in my youth
00:20:13we're not going to hurt her are we
00:20:16you can't keep killing people it's just plain wrong i don't know what's getting into you
00:20:23if you won't do this one little thing for me well then you can just go on back home
00:20:31yes ma'am
00:20:34what do you want me to do
00:20:36you'll get her attention
00:20:38and i'll sneak up on her with the call
00:20:42what do i do
00:20:43thank the something
00:20:45hello
00:20:55could i help you with that
00:20:59hi
00:21:00um i seem to be a little lost
00:21:04village is that way
00:21:07thanks
00:21:10so uh do you live here by yourself
00:21:19no i share the place with a bunch of dwarves
00:21:22can i help you with something
00:21:23i've been pretty much walking for the past few days and i was wondering do you have some food or something
00:21:29a beggar
00:21:31i shouldn't be taking people in though our parson's just been found murdered
00:21:37i don't know who knows what kind of lunatic they could be
00:21:40take a seat
00:21:47this bread is very good
00:21:54much softer than they make at home
00:21:57bake this afternoon
00:21:59you're staring at me
00:22:06you're very pretty brad
00:22:08maybe
00:22:10peter what is it
00:22:13good work
00:22:24help me get her into the barrows
00:22:26we may yet make a warlock out of you gator
00:22:31and hannical will be so pleased
00:22:36you two took your house in time
00:22:41it's almost midnight
00:22:48so
00:22:54so this is our sacrifice is it
00:23:00come on don't stand there give us a hand
00:23:07i think she's got the loveliest eyes
00:23:11i want them after
00:23:13i get the eyes
00:23:15you got them last time
00:23:17i never get anything good
00:23:20i get the eyes
00:23:22well
00:23:24i claim all the teeth then
00:23:27oh
00:23:28come on it's getting late
00:23:32oh
00:23:33come on it's getting late
00:23:39oh
00:23:40oh
00:23:41oh
00:23:42oh
00:23:43oh
00:23:45oh
00:23:46oh
00:23:47oh
00:23:48oh
00:23:49oh
00:23:50oh
00:23:51oh
00:23:52oh
00:23:53oh
00:23:54oh
00:23:55oh
00:23:56oh
00:23:57oh
00:23:58oh
00:23:59oh
00:24:00oh
00:24:02oh
00:24:04oh
00:24:05oh
00:24:06yes
00:24:07don't let him
00:24:08i think he's ready
00:24:10no it's too important
00:24:12you do it
00:24:13you can kill the next sacrifice
00:24:16it's time
00:24:20Go ahead, nightly crowd.
00:24:39Don't worry.
00:24:42Stay calm and follow my lead.
00:24:47Go on, read it!
00:24:49Yes, you read it.
00:24:51I can't read.
00:24:53You know I can't read.
00:24:57You worry us.
00:24:58The virate and demons of the pit hear us.
00:25:03Lord of the plague,
00:25:05send us the soul of our forsaken sister.
00:25:11Marish her with vestibules,
00:25:15and fill her full of hatred.
00:25:19That I need.
00:25:21Amen.
00:25:23I just need to break it.
00:25:24I love you.
00:25:25We're coming.
00:25:27I don't know.
00:25:28I need to have a better life.
00:25:29Let's get a better life.
00:25:30I don't know.
00:25:31Just like watching.
00:25:32I don't really care.
00:25:33I love you or anything.
00:25:35I just need to have faith through this.
00:25:36I ask you.
00:29:07Rich!
00:29:08Rich!
00:29:09You're...
00:29:10I didn't hurt you like you were me!
00:29:21You know, it would have been a lot easier if you just ran away when I suggested it.
00:30:35Excuse me, sir, but could you please tell us how to get out of here?
00:30:50You killed my sisters!
00:30:56I'm gonna make this very painful!
00:31:01I'm gonna make this very painful!
00:31:07I'm gonna make this very painful!
00:31:11I'm gonna make this very painful!
00:31:17I'm gonna make this very painful!
00:31:23I'm gonna make this very painful!
00:31:27I'm gonna make this very painful!
00:31:31I'm gonna make this very painful!
00:33:05And you'll go to sleep?
00:33:08Promise.
00:33:09Okay.
00:33:11Just then, Magoga jumped back to life and...
00:33:14Better?
00:33:19Much.
00:33:20Okay.
00:33:20Good night, kid.
00:33:22Good night.
00:33:23Good night.
00:33:23Good night.
00:33:29Good night.
00:33:35Uncle Mike!
00:34:05Uncle Mike!
00:34:19Uncle Mike!
00:34:31I'm sorry.
00:34:53Isn't she just so adorable?
00:34:55What now?
00:34:56Thank you. Thank you.
00:34:58What is it?
00:35:01A monster was gonna get me.
00:35:04Oh, Brian, for Christ's sakes.
00:35:06The Miss Nude Bayote competition is on Cablevision right now.
00:35:09One more story, please.
00:35:12Which story?
00:35:14Little Red Riding Hood.
00:35:17Little Red Riding Hood.
00:35:19Hmm. Okay.
00:35:22Once upon a time, there was a little girl called Rachel.
00:35:26Actually, she wasn't all that little.
00:35:29She was a hot-looking high school senior with clear blue eyes and fine, firm breasts.
00:35:35That's not the way Mommy tells it.
00:35:37Shut up. That's the way I tell it.
00:35:39Anyhow, one day she came home after cheerleading practice.
00:35:43And she realized she wanted to go jogging.
00:35:45And she realized she wanted to go jogging.
00:35:48Because you'm all about the other day she knew that she was doing.
00:35:50And now she was just like a figure, bitch.
00:35:51Little Red Riding Hood.
00:35:52She was a solo leader with magic.
00:35:53I was like, oh.
00:35:54I took the game.
00:35:55She walked away.
00:35:56I didn't know she's not too far, pal.
00:35:57And I was like the girl too.
00:35:58I'm like this guy.
00:35:59About the dad装.
00:36:00And she was like, oh.
00:36:01She was like, oh.
00:36:02I'm like, oh.
00:36:03I'm like I'm one and I'm a girl.
00:36:04I'm a girl.
00:36:05And I was like, oh.
00:36:06I'm like I'm not too far.
00:36:07I'm a girl.
00:36:08I'm a girl.
00:36:09I'm a girl.
00:36:10And she's in the house.
00:36:11I have a girl.
00:38:12Okay, Mom.
00:38:22Uncle Mike, this story stinks.
00:38:24Where's the big bad wolf?
00:38:25Isn't there supposed to be a big bad wolf?
00:38:28Well, yeah, I'm getting to that.
00:38:30Meanwhile, across town there lived this guy named Willie.
00:38:33Was he a wolf?
00:38:34Well, no.
00:38:36Technically, he wasn't.
00:38:37Not full-time, anyway.
00:38:51What's happening, my man?
00:38:52I got a little present for you from the islands.
00:38:56Really?
00:38:57I love you.
00:38:58Hmm.
00:39:00Save that for my vacation.
00:39:02Enjoy.
00:39:03Lunch hour.
00:39:04So, how much do I owe you this time?
00:39:08Uh, 25 will do it.
00:39:10I can only get seven for you this time.
00:39:12Yeah, we had an arrangement.
00:39:14I don't know.
00:39:15Just, uh, raise the price when you resell them.
00:39:19Yeah, sure.
00:39:20I don't know who would take this shit anyhow.
00:39:25Frankly, I took two of these to knock me out for two days one time.
00:39:30Excuse me.
00:39:30Oh, yes, ma'am.
00:39:31What can I do for you?
00:39:32Well, I'm here to pick up a prescription for my grandmother.
00:39:35Name's Krieger.
00:39:36Uh-huh.
00:39:37Is this a house account?
00:39:38Uh, yeah.
00:39:40Well, I'll roll out of the charge.
00:39:41Let's be right back.
00:39:42So, what's your name?
00:39:53Rachel.
00:39:54That's a pretty name.
00:39:56Biblical, huh?
00:39:58I wouldn't know.
00:40:00I'm doing anything later.
00:40:03None of your business.
00:40:05We are, Miss Krieger.
00:40:07She'll just sign here.
00:40:08Okay.
00:40:09Rachel.
00:40:11Rachel.
00:40:11Um, where?
00:40:12Just anywhere in the bottom's fine.
00:40:17There you go.
00:40:20Bye-bye.
00:40:20Bye.
00:40:21Always a pleasure.
00:40:27Take this.
00:40:30It'll help you forget.
00:40:32Right.
00:40:33Sorry.
00:40:33Where were you?
00:40:50Just running.
00:40:53Yeah.
00:40:53Where were you?
00:40:56Waiting for you.
00:40:58Hi.
00:41:01Hi.
00:41:12Not here.
00:41:16You're not going to back on me again, are you?
00:41:23You want to go someplace else?
00:41:28I'll go someplace else.
00:41:58You gave me the goddamn grandmother's medicine.
00:42:09What are you talking about?
00:42:15Oh, shit.
00:42:16Oh, shit is right.
00:42:18I need those pills.
00:42:21Maybe you should ask Granny for them.
00:42:23Maybe you should ask Granny tomorrow morning.
00:42:24She's going to be sleeping pretty well tonight.
00:42:26Just give me your address, then, quick.
00:42:28Oh, man, I can't do that.
00:42:32Listen to me, you shit.
00:42:33If I'm not outcalled by Moonrise tonight...
00:42:36Give me your address.
00:42:48Now.
00:42:49Here we are.
00:43:06This is it.
00:43:09You're serious, aren't you?
00:43:13What do you think?
00:43:14How very classy.
00:43:20Well, lucky for you, I just happen to have some candles and an air mattress.
00:43:29How very spontaneous.
00:43:33Um, did you happen to bring an air pump by any chance?
00:43:36I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:37I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:38I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:39I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:40I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:41I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:42I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:43I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:44I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:45I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:46I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:47I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:48I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:49I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:50I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:43:51I'm going to bring an air pump by any chance.
00:44:06Yes, can I help you?
00:44:19Yeah, hi.
00:44:19Um, is Rachel here?
00:44:21No.
00:44:34She's not here.
00:44:36She's looking on the mattress, and he's pitching him down.
00:44:39What's your name?
00:44:41Willie.
00:44:42Willie.
00:44:44Huh?
00:44:45If you leave your number, I'll have it call you.
00:44:47No, no, you can't do that.
00:44:49You see, it's kind of important.
00:44:51Can I just come inside?
00:44:52Oh, absolutely not.
00:44:54No, if you can't leave your number, you'll have to go.
00:44:56Excuse me.
00:44:57Open the door.
00:45:11I will not.
00:45:13Now you go away, or I'll call the police.
00:45:16Lady, will you just open the door?
00:45:18Come on, ladies.
00:45:26Lady, open the fucking door.
00:45:29Come on, ladies.
00:45:30I have a meat cleaver here, and I know how to use it.
00:45:34Come on.
00:45:35Come on.
00:45:42Shh.
00:45:43Shh.
00:45:43Shh.
00:45:44Shh.
00:45:48Shh.
00:45:48Oh, my God.
00:46:18Oh, wait. I gotta pee.
00:46:48I'm back.
00:47:15I missed you.
00:47:25Hi.
00:47:27Hi.
00:47:27What's the matter now?
00:47:40Making love here.
00:47:43Spiders.
00:47:44Spiders.
00:47:45Nah.
00:47:46It's too cold for spiders.
00:47:49You scared?
00:47:53You scared?
00:47:54Max.
00:48:05Max.
00:48:14Oh.
00:48:15Oh.
00:48:16Oh.
00:48:20Oh.
00:48:22Oh.
00:48:23Oh.
00:48:27Oh.
00:48:30Oh.
00:48:35Oh.
00:48:36Oh!
00:49:06Fuck!
00:49:15No!
00:49:17I'm ready!
00:49:36I don't look any different.
00:49:44What?
00:49:47Nothing.
00:50:04Did you hear that?
00:50:07Hear what?
00:50:09I don't hear anything.
00:50:36I don't hear anything about you.
00:50:42No.
00:50:43You're too late.
00:50:44Sorry we did it?
00:50:53No.
00:50:55Hey, come on. It's getting late.
00:50:59What time is it?
00:51:00I don't know. It must be about six.
00:51:02Oh, shit. My grandmother's gonna kill me.
00:51:14I don't know.
00:51:44I don't know.
00:52:14I don't know.
00:52:44I don't know.
00:52:46I don't know.
00:52:54Who's there?
00:52:56Stop it!
00:52:58Stop it!
00:53:00Stop it!
00:53:02Stop it!
00:53:04Stop it!
00:53:06Stop it!
00:53:08Stop it!
00:53:10Stop it!
00:53:12Stop it!
00:53:14Stop it!
00:53:16Stop it!
00:53:18Stop it!
00:53:20Stop it!
00:53:24Help!
00:53:35Well, we're here.
00:53:38You don't want me to walk you to the door?
00:53:40No, well, I'm in enough trouble.
00:53:43Wait here, and I'll be back.
00:53:53Graham?
00:53:57Graham?
00:54:10Graham?
00:54:20Graham?
00:54:22Graham?
00:54:40Operator?
00:54:41Okay, something terrible's happened.
00:54:43Oh, send an ambulance, yeah.
00:54:45My address is 80 Oakley Road.
00:54:48Please hurry.
00:55:10Oh.
00:55:15Oh, my God!
00:55:20Yeah!
00:55:21Oh, my God!
00:55:25OK.
00:55:34Oh, my God.
00:55:40Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:55:50Dr. Martin, Dr. Martin, please dial 314.
00:55:56Dr. Martin, Dr. Martin, please dial 314.
00:56:00Don't you think it's time you headed home?
00:56:03It's my fault.
00:56:05How can you say that?
00:56:07I want to be here when she wakes up.
00:56:12Can I get you some tea or something?
00:56:14No.
00:56:26Graham?
00:56:29Rachel?
00:56:33Oh, Rachel.
00:56:34Graham, I'm so worried.
00:56:36Oh.
00:56:37It's okay.
00:56:41It's okay.
00:56:42How do you feel?
00:56:44I ran to the door.
00:56:51The bastard shot me from behind.
00:56:56I'm so sorry.
00:56:57I should have...
00:56:59Graham, are you all right?
00:57:05I'm ready for you.
00:57:08Grandma, what big teeth you have.
00:57:15Red Riding Hood is grabbed in a frenzy of snarls and growls, ripped apart.
00:57:21And unfortunately, no one lived happily ever after.
00:57:24The end.
00:57:24Good night.
00:57:26Good night.
00:57:26Good night.
00:57:27Uncle Mike
00:57:57There is no monster in here.
00:58:27Nothing here.
00:58:29Definite deficit of monsters in here, isn't there?
00:58:33No monster in here.
00:58:35Nothing in here.
00:58:37Okay.
00:58:38So you see there's no monster in this room, right?
00:58:40Just one more story, please.
00:58:42Goldilocks and three bears, please.
00:58:44No.
00:58:45Just one, please.
00:58:46No, no, no.
00:58:47No more.
00:58:48It's time to go to bed.
00:58:50Brian, no, no, no.
00:58:53Brian!
00:58:57Once upon a time, on a bright sunny spring day,
00:59:02while the birds were singing and the bees were being,
00:59:07there lived Papa Bear and Mama Bear and Baby Bear
00:59:12had a little girl named Goldilocks.
00:59:15All right, all right.
00:59:29Just what do you two think you're doing?
00:59:31We're going home.
00:59:32Sure you are.
00:59:33Maybe you'd like some money to take along with you.
00:59:35Sure, that'd be real.
00:59:36Let me handle this.
00:59:38Now, we don't want any problems from you, pal.
00:59:40We'll be out of here in a few minutes.
00:59:42Okay, okay.
00:59:43Why don't you just give me that gun
00:59:45before you get yourselves in trouble?
00:59:50Now, don't try anything funny.
00:59:52Look, Dad.
00:59:53It's Mama.
00:59:55Oh, no.
00:59:56I'm not falling for that old one.
01:00:15Oh, I am sorry.
01:00:16I am late.
01:00:17But you wouldn't believe the day I had one thing after another.
01:00:20First, this morning, I get a phone call.
01:00:22Miss Von Rhee got his head stuck in the revolving door
01:00:24so they can answer my 3.30 hairdresser.
01:00:26Then, I'm sitting down watching Donahue.
01:00:28Why don't you tell us on the way?
01:00:29Oh, yes.
01:00:36Hang on, boys.
01:00:38Heads up.
01:00:42Sweet.
01:00:47Only grace him the first time.
01:01:03Life these days can be a mess.
01:01:05Daily decisions lead to stress.
01:01:06Are you dreading what each brand new day might bring?
01:01:10Are there voices in your head?
01:01:12Do you dive beneath the bed every time the phone begins to ring?
01:01:17Well, if your psyche's all undone,
01:01:19there's a place where you can roam
01:01:20where folks are leaving baskets
01:01:22and eating flies and having fun.
01:01:25Papa.
01:01:26What?
01:01:27I have to go.
01:01:29Oh, baby.
01:01:30You should have thought of that before we left the asylum.
01:01:32Happens every time we go anywhere.
01:01:35Can we stop for ice cream?
01:01:37No!
01:01:39Just where are we going anyway?
01:01:41Remember that nice little house we used to live in?
01:01:43I think it's vacant now.
01:01:45Oh, yeah.
01:01:46The one in Amityville.
01:01:48A fantasy world may be bliss
01:01:50and there is nothing wrong with this
01:01:52though still you can have trouble finding dates.
01:01:56If you need a place to play,
01:01:58find yourself a hideaway.
01:02:00After all, it worked for Norman Bates.
01:02:03It's not that I'm not flattered.
01:02:05It's just that I'm, well, not ready to make that kind of commitment.
01:02:14I'm sorry things didn't work out between us.
01:02:16You are kind of cute.
01:02:20Will you be quiet?
01:02:25Well, I guess we better head inside.
01:02:28I really should be angry at you.
01:02:43You boys are all the same.
01:02:46Just want one thing and one thing only.
01:02:49Just like all the rest.
01:02:51Afternoon, boys!
01:02:54Why don't you give us a kiss?
01:02:58What kind of girl do you think I am?
01:03:06That guy.
01:03:07Let's see.
01:03:08Am I right?
01:03:09Norman, this is Fred.
01:03:10Fred, Norman, you two should get along well together.
01:03:13You have a lot in common.
01:03:14Time for News View from the Channel 12 Newsroom.
01:03:20This morning the calm serenity of the Saints preserve us home for the helplessly insane
01:03:27was shattered by the bloody breakout of Beresford Papa Bear and Wilmont Baby Bear
01:03:35who are each serving combined sentences of 4,726 years for their assorted crimes.
01:03:42With me is Lieutenant Jack B. Nimble of the Metro Police.
01:03:47Tell me, Lieutenant, are there any new developments in the breakout?
01:03:51Our best clue so far is a set of tire tracks from the car.
01:03:55Surely there are quite a few cars with similar tread patterns.
01:04:00But not with dentures in them.
01:04:02In addition to the Bear family's bloody escape today, police believe the murderous Goldie Locks,
01:04:07who escaped last week, is now in our vicinity.
01:04:10Miss Locks, who has been periodically institutionalized since the age of eight,
01:04:15exhibits extreme psychotic behavior and is believed to be responsible for the deaths of at least 14 people,
01:04:21including her own parents.
01:04:23I'm standing here with Captain Jack B. Quick.
01:04:25I'm the darling of the media already.
01:04:29Captain Quick, tell me, what is your strategy?
01:04:33That is, exactly what measures are being taken to end the ghastly murderous spree of Miss Locks?
01:04:42Well, we plan to arrest her and, of course, put her in jail.
01:04:47That ought to do it.
01:04:48Moreover, it has been alleged, although this reporter finds it highly unlikely,
01:04:53that Miss Locks has some unusual psychic powers.
01:04:56Although we hasten to add, this has never been confirmed.
01:04:59In other news, President...
01:05:01Consider it confirmed.
01:05:06Are we almost there yet?
01:05:09I'm hungry.
01:05:10Oh, there's a picnic basket there in the back, dear.
01:05:18And now we're getting somewhere.
01:05:26What the hell is this?
01:05:28Porridge.
01:05:29Why must we always have porridge?
01:05:31Don't you know how to make anything but porridge?
01:05:34Tradition.
01:05:35Well, that's got a new tradition.
01:05:38Steak, pork, yak, anything but porridge.
01:05:42You know we can't afford steak, not on your salary,
01:05:45which at the moment is nothing.
01:05:47Right.
01:05:48We need money.
01:05:51How about welfare?
01:05:53What?
01:05:54Welfare?
01:05:55That's ridiculous.
01:05:56Our family will get our money the way we've always gotten it.
01:05:59Honorable.
01:06:05Hey!
01:06:06Hey!
01:06:07You can't do that!
01:06:09Stop!
01:06:11You can't do that!
01:06:12Stop!
01:06:13You can't do that!
01:06:16Yeah!
01:06:25Oh, I see.
01:06:26Huh?
01:06:27Oh, I see.
01:06:28Oh, I see.
01:06:29Now...
01:06:30What is this?
01:06:31Yeah!
01:06:32Oh, I see...
01:06:33Oh, I see.
01:06:34Oh, I see.
01:06:35and that was the scene today as the notorious bear family successfully pulled off a daring
01:06:44daylight robbery i'm fortunate enough to have in the studio with me today lieutenant nimble
01:06:50of the area police in charge of the bear family apprehension and captain quick of the state police
01:06:56in charge of the locks investigation gentlemen thank you for taking time out of your busy
01:07:01schedules to be with us today sure anything to get on television captain quick what do you think
01:07:08the recent murder sprees say about today's society i don't know well it's uh it's because of today's
01:07:18permissive sex and uh and recreational violence it's it's like a huge festering puss war and it
01:07:27just keeps getting larger and bigger and grows larger and larger until it explodes covering
01:07:33us all with a sticky slimy smelly mess it's like when you're laid down with with dogs you get up
01:07:40with puppies sir well let's follow that up lieutenant nimble in cases such as these what are the chances
01:07:46for a successful rehabilitation oh you gotta catch him first what you have to catch him first what do
01:07:53mean by that nothing remember i've seen you in action are you saying i'm a bad cop yeah i'm calling
01:07:59I'm telling you a bad cop.
01:08:00Oh, yeah?
01:08:01Hey, fellas, you're on the air.
01:08:02I oughta...
01:08:03Oh, hey!
01:08:04Oh, hey!
01:08:05Oh!
01:08:06Oh!
01:08:07Oh!
01:08:08Oh!
01:08:09Oh!
01:08:10Oh!
01:08:11Oh!
01:08:12Oh!
01:08:14Oh!
01:08:15Oh!
01:08:16Oh!
01:08:17Oh!
01:08:18Oh!
01:08:19Oh!
01:08:20Oh!
01:08:21Oh!
01:08:22Oh!
01:08:23Oh!
01:08:24Oh!
01:08:25Oh!
01:08:26Oh!
01:08:27Oh!
01:08:28Oh!
01:08:29Just to soften up the area.
01:08:31At the community college, silly, I took, uh, pyrotechnics, hand-to-hand combat, and...
01:08:37What else?
01:08:38Oh, yes, macrame.
01:08:40Nah, too messy.
01:08:43Let's go in with the old Avon lady bit.
01:08:46Just cover us with the Uzi.
01:08:49Uh...
01:08:51Yeah!
01:08:52Oh, oh, oh, yeah!
01:08:57Someone's sleeping in my bed.
01:09:27Someone's sleeping in my bed.
01:09:31Somebody's sleeping in my bed.
01:09:34I like walking in the rain.
01:09:37You're expecting perhaps Janet Leigh?
01:09:56All right. Get out!
01:10:03Look what I found.
01:10:06I'm sorry. I didn't think anyone lived here.
01:10:09Aren't you cute? What's your name, honey?
01:10:12Goldie. Goldie Locks.
01:10:14Actually, it's Goldie. I was born during the Six-Day War.
01:10:17Isn't she, darling? Shall I waste it, dear?
01:10:20No, don't. I'm...
01:10:22I wouldn't be much bother. I can cook and do all sorts of things.
01:10:25Well, I don't know.
01:10:27What do you think, Myla?
01:10:29I think she'll fit in just fine around here.
01:10:32She'll be like the daughter we never had.
01:10:34And you'll be like the parents I brutally slaughtered.
01:10:37She's been spotted here, here, and here.
01:10:42Now, our reconnaissance says she has to be here in this deserted house.
01:10:46So, here's the plan of action.
01:10:48In one hour, we'll form on the highway just outside the house.
01:10:52Once we group, we go in in plain-closed cars.
01:10:56We'll line up out front and wait for her to come out.
01:11:00Now, bring plenty of firepower, boys.
01:11:02This little girl's our dynamo.
01:11:10Oh, you must have been a beautiful baby.
01:11:13You must have been a beautiful child.
01:11:30Oh, hello, baby.
01:11:38You startled me.
01:11:40Gee, I'm sorry.
01:11:42Papa asked me to bury these guys.
01:11:48So tell me, why did they call you baby anyway?
01:11:51I don't know.
01:11:54I guess I got it when I was younger.
01:11:56Oh.
01:12:00I like you, baby.
01:12:03You're so different.
01:12:07Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:12:08I'm just a regular guy.
01:12:10No, don't ever say that.
01:12:13You've got to be different from the rest.
01:12:17I like you too, Goldie.
01:12:19Kiss me.
01:12:30What are you talking about?
01:12:31What are you talking about?
01:12:32Wow!
01:12:33What a woman!
01:12:39I love you.
01:12:42I love you, I love you.
01:12:43Baby!
01:12:44I love you.
01:12:45Baby!
01:12:46I love you.
01:12:47I love you.
01:12:48Baby!
01:12:50Baby!
01:12:51You're so proud.
01:12:52No!
01:12:53Too rough!
01:12:54No!
01:12:55Baby!
01:12:56No!
01:12:57No!
01:12:58No!
01:12:59Baby!
01:13:00Baby!
01:13:09Baby!
01:13:12Baby!
01:13:13Baby!
01:13:14Oh, finally, I fell.
01:13:19Sorry, boys.
01:13:32Loves me.
01:13:33We know the bears are holed up in that house across the field.
01:13:36Now, considering the shrewd criminal mind we're dealing with...
01:13:39Loves me not.
01:13:41We decided to enter through the rear.
01:13:43That's my idea.
01:13:45She loves me.
01:13:47You spell the name N-I-M...
01:13:49Loves me not.
01:13:50P-L-E.
01:13:51Now, in case they're shooting, remember, drop low and to my right.
01:13:55That's my best side.
01:13:59She loves me.
01:14:03We thank thee, Lord, for what we are about to receive.
01:14:09Horrors again?
01:14:10All the commotion. I didn't have the time to go to the store today.
01:14:15And on top of all that, it's too hot!
01:14:19What do we do?
01:14:21Well, why don't we go for a walk until it cools?
01:14:28Nah, screw it. Let's go get a pizza.
01:14:30Let's go get a pizza.
01:14:33Papa, I have to go.
01:14:38Yo!
01:15:00No way, I told you. I don't like hairy fish.
01:15:14All right, no anchovies.
01:15:15Do you want anything else?
01:15:17Can I have a drink, Papa?
01:15:19Sure, why not?
01:15:21I'll have a double bourbon and whiskey, please.
01:15:25I'll have a you-hoo.
01:15:26No, no you-hoo.
01:15:27Chocopop, okay?
01:15:29What about you, little princess?
01:15:32Coke.
01:15:33Jeez, what a bunch of wheels.
01:15:35All right, men. That's far enough.
01:15:45From these positions, we have optimum viewing capacity.
01:15:48I don't want anyone to advance further until you hear my signal.
01:15:52The thing to do here is to remain calm, alert, and relaxed.
01:15:58The key is not to overreact.
01:16:00I'm getting too old for this type of life.
01:16:03I didn't want you to be part of it.
01:16:06I had other plans for you.
01:16:08Senator Bear.
01:16:10Governor Bear.
01:16:12President Bear.
01:16:14Not this.
01:16:17If only we could just settle down quietly somewheres.
01:16:21Not now. We're probably on every police blotter in the country.
01:16:25Where will we go? What do we do?
01:16:27California. We probably have to go to California.
01:16:30We'll probably blend in there and nobody would notice us there.
01:16:33Yeah, and you can become one of them television preachers.
01:17:00And so the scene here is total carnage.
01:17:02To repeat, the infamous Bear gang has been wiped out by other people.
01:17:04And so the scene here is total carnage.
01:17:07To repeat, the infamous Bear gang has been wiped out by a fierce fire fight that utilized the combined efforts of local authorities and the state police.
01:17:14In addition, the report is that little Goldie Locks, who is known to have killed a dozen-plus people,
01:17:20was also consumed in the fray.
01:17:27There are a great many bodies found on the scene so far.
01:17:28Okay, that was too special.
01:17:29And two coats.
01:17:30Though it is doubtful that the police would ever be able to positively identify any of the remains of the police.
01:17:37In addition, the report is that little Goldie Locks, who is known to have killed a dozen-plus people,
01:17:44was also consumed in the fray.
01:17:48There are a great many bodies found on the scene so far.
01:17:52Two specials.
01:17:53And two coats.
01:17:54Though it is doubtful that the police would ever be able to positively identify any of the remains.
01:17:59I can't breathe.
01:18:01In addition, there are the following injuries.
01:18:04Seven of those 12 states police wounded, as well as police.
01:18:10My treat.
01:18:22And they all lived happily ever after.
01:18:43Though not everyone they came across was so lucky.
01:18:50Okay?
01:18:51No more stories?
01:18:52No more stories.
01:18:53Okay.
01:18:54Good night.
01:18:55Good night.
01:18:56Good night.
01:18:57Uncle Mike?
01:19:16Hello.
01:19:45The moment when we crown Miss Lude Bayard.
01:19:52The murder is...
01:19:59Nah.
01:20:03I was leaning on an oak tree.
01:20:06I was looking pretty tough.
01:20:08When these kicking red sweats jammies
01:20:10came by running through the rough.
01:20:12She was wearing hot pink Nike.
01:20:15As she sprinted through the wood.
01:20:17She had sexy thighs and her big blue eyes
01:20:20were peeking through her hood.
01:20:23Oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:20:27But hey, you wear red.
01:20:29Why don't you wait for me?
01:20:32Did you hear what I said?
01:20:34Can you slow down, please?
01:20:36You don't have to run.
01:20:38We can have some fun.
01:20:40Honey, don't you be a tease.
01:20:43I got a cold, wet nose, real flashy clothes,
01:20:48and I burn to be your pet.
01:20:52I got lonely pangs, so ignore my fangs.
01:20:57I ain't bit no one yet.
01:21:00But she said no.
01:21:02But she said no.
01:21:02She just kept going.
01:21:04And jogging down that trail.
01:21:06I'm no whoop.
01:21:07I never give up.
01:21:09Just a whoop after a tail.
01:21:12Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:21:16Hey, you and Red,
01:21:18why don't you wait for me?
01:21:21Whoa, that red.
01:21:22Come on, slow down, please.
01:21:25You don't have to run.
01:21:27We can have some fun.
01:21:29Honey, don't you be a tease.
01:21:33I said, hey, cute little pants.
01:21:36Give me a chance.
01:21:37Let me see what's in your basket.
01:21:41I'll be good to you.
01:21:43I'll do just what you want to do.
01:21:46All you got to do is ask it.
01:21:50I was grasping at straws.
01:21:53Screamed my two back paws.
01:21:56Stumbling after her.
01:21:59So I yelled, I'm a whoop among men.
01:22:02Come on back to my den.
01:22:04Run your fingers to my foot.
01:22:07I hate you in red.
01:22:16Why can't you wait for me?
01:22:18Slow down that red.
01:22:20You know this ain't the Grand Prix.
01:22:23Forget your mama's advice.
01:22:25The wolves can be nice.
01:22:27Just wait up and you'll see.
01:22:32All right now, baby.
01:22:35Come on.
01:22:37All right now.
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