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Romesh Ranganathan's Parents' Evening Season 2 Episode 3
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FunTranscript
00:00Thank you for listening.
00:30Hello, I'm Romesh Ranganathan and welcome to Parents Evening,
00:35the show where celebs team up with their parents or their kids
00:39to win money for charity.
00:41It's a love letter to family, if that letter was from social services.
00:45Playing tonight, we have...
00:47Tom and Irene Allen.
00:50Maddie and Steve Pemberton.
00:53And Fleur Easton, her mum, Irene Frimpong Mansour.
00:59And also here tonight is my mum, Shanti Ranganathan.
01:07She is a national treasure and by that I mean,
01:09she was stolen from another country and I hope we give her back.
01:13Mum worked very hard researching our guest for tonight's questions.
01:16It's a sentence I have to say on camera for tax and immigration reasons.
01:20Mum, what tip bit have you got for us about our guests?
01:23One of our guests received a diamond-encrusted member from a celebrity.
01:29Diamond-encrusted member?
01:31Member. Member.
01:33What is a member? I am not going to say what's the member.
01:36But do you know what it is? I do.
01:38OK.
01:41I've never heard you say member before.
01:43What would you...
01:45I can't say that word in the national television,
01:47so I use it as a member.
01:49OK.
01:50So you're working out, you are clever enough to work it out.
01:52What would you...
01:53No, I can...
01:54I can work it out.
01:55I just want to definitely know that you know, so...
01:57I know those things very well.
01:59OK, that look on your face is...
02:03If it's too spicy we'll bleep it out, so what would you call it?
02:05I don't want to say...
02:07Just say what...
02:08You don't know, do you?
02:09It's a dick.
02:10APPLAUSE
02:18He made me say it.
02:23Are you happy now, Ramesh? You've got your mother to say that.
02:25Yeah, he made me say it.
02:26Who is it then that received a diamond-encrusted member?
02:29Member.
02:31It is I.
02:32Fleur.
02:36Who and why and what?
02:38Ed Sheeran, he gets members made to order for certain friends that he meets.
02:47Right.
02:48Sir Elton John, I think, was the first.
02:50And then I met him and he took my order
02:53and he's delivered a black diamond-encrusted penis...
02:58..that now sits proudly in my living room.
03:04You can order one for me.
03:05Yeah.
03:07Could you get in touch with Ed Sheeran and say,
03:09Ron would like to order a cock for his mum?
03:10Oh!
03:13Mum, if you got one in the post, where would you keep it?
03:15In my bedroom.
03:19I'm going to be honest with you, I'd need a couple of minutes to get over what was happening.
03:23Good luck tonight, everybody.
03:25Let's play parents' evening.
03:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
03:31OK.
03:32Parents, you have to bid on how many questions out of ten
03:35you think your child can guess right in a particular category.
03:39Whoever's mum or dad bids the highest will have to play.
03:42Meet the target and you get £100 for each correct answer.
03:45But if you fall short, that money is split between the others instead.
03:49And because you're going to be bidding without any influence from your children,
03:52I'm afraid we have to separate you.
03:54So, Tom, Maddy and Fleur, let's get you set for tonight's first question.
03:58Our first question tonight is all about emotional films.
04:10What you have to do is guess the film with an emotion in the title.
04:13For example...
04:15Blank Max, what would that be, Mum?
04:17Mad Max?
04:18Yes!
04:19Is it?
04:20Yeah!
04:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:23Steve, writer, performer, six-time BAFTA winner.
04:28Congratulations on that.
04:29Oh, thank you very much.
04:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:33Good, isn't it?
04:35Six-time BAFTA winner.
04:37She's up in her chair.
04:38You're suddenly interested, aren't you?
04:40LAUGHTER
04:41Is it fair to say that a lot of films are getting watched at your place?
04:44Um, by me, it's very hard now to get families to watch anything together.
04:49Yeah.
04:50So, um, I'm not sure that Maddy would be up on a lot of films.
04:54OK.
04:55Um, in fact, when we were talking about this show,
04:57I think she made a list of things she knew a lot about
04:59and very little about, and there was a column that said,
05:02Things I will be shit at.
05:04LAUGHTER
05:05Right, OK.
05:06And I think films came under there, so...
05:08OK.
05:09Fleur, Irene, how do you rate Fleur's film knowledge?
05:11Is she a film buff?
05:12No.
05:13No.
05:14LAUGHTER
05:15Do you think she'll know anything about this?
05:18No.
05:19No.
05:20LAUGHTER
05:21Can I just ask a question?
05:22And I'll believe whatever you say.
05:23Are you genuinely her mum?
05:24LAUGHTER
05:27Irene Allen, is Tom a sensitive soul?
05:29Does he get emotional?
05:30Yeah, he's sensitive.
05:32Very sensitive.
05:33Is it true he phoned you in the middle of the night recently?
05:36Mm.
05:37Because he'd just moved into this new house and, um...
05:41Yeah.
05:42..there was a spider.
05:43LAUGHTER
05:45It was near his bedroom, but he wouldn't go into the bedroom
05:48because he frightened the spider would follow him into the bedroom.
05:51LAUGHTER
05:52If you had a diamond-encrusted member by your bed...
05:54Oh, yeah, yeah.
05:55..you could have...
05:56There you go.
05:57LAUGHTER
05:58Now, parents, it is time to bid.
06:03Now, when Mum tried this earlier, she scored four.
06:06Irene Allen, you're going to be opening the bids.
06:09How many do you think Tom can get?
06:11Erm...
06:12I'll say five.
06:13Five?
06:14Oh!
06:15It's a good opening bid, I like it.
06:16Steve?
06:17Maddy likes a challenge, but maybe not...
06:21Maybe not that much of a challenge, so I'm going to say we're out.
06:24You're out?
06:25OK.
06:26Irene, how about Fleur?
06:27I'll say six.
06:28You'll say six?
06:29Ooh!
06:30I'm going to be honest with you, based on our chat,
06:32I'm incredibly surprised.
06:34LAUGHTER
06:36So, Irene versus Irene here in the bids.
06:38Would you want to go higher than six?
06:40Go on.
06:42LAUGHTER
06:44OK, seven.
06:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
06:47Do you know what I love is Steve who ducked out immediately
06:55encouraging you to bid hard.
06:56What an incredible spread.
06:57Yeah!
06:58Irene, what do you think?
06:59You've got a bid of seven to beat now.
07:04You're out.
07:05OK.
07:06That means that playing for £700, it's Tom Allen!
07:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:21So, your mum thinks you can name seven films with emotions in the title.
07:25You can give multiple guesses and you only need to say the missing word,
07:28not the full title.
07:29OK.
07:30You can pass as many times as you want.
07:31OK.
07:32But you only have 90 seconds.
07:33Mum is going to be timing the round.
07:35Yes, I am.
07:36Are you ready?
07:37Well, no.
07:38OK.
07:39Off you go.
07:4312...
07:44Oh.
07:4512 angry men.
07:46Do...
07:47Happy.
07:48Gilded.
07:49OK.
07:50Cape.
07:52Cod.
07:53Canaveral.
07:54Fear.
07:55It is fear.
07:56You've got four to get.
07:57Ten things I blank about you.
07:58Hate.
07:59It is, that's right.
08:00Three to get.
08:01Blank room.
08:02Panic.
08:03Yep, good.
08:04Two to get.
08:05Blank and...
08:06Yeah, it is.
08:07And then once again...
08:08Hurt.
08:09Hurt.
08:10Absolutely wonderful, Brian.
08:11Congratulations, Tom.
08:12You scored seven winning you 700 pounds.
08:13Let's give it up for Tom Allen.
08:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
08:15The thing, if I'd let you talk for longer, it would have gone out of my head, so I was like,
08:20shut up!
08:21Shut up!
08:22We get it!
08:23Mum?
08:24Yes?
08:25What did you think of that rant?
08:26Yeah, Alan is fantastic.
08:27Yeah.
08:28Alan?
08:29Well, he answered all the questions.
08:30Who's Alan?
08:31Oh, what's his name?
08:32What is he?
08:33What is he?
08:34Did I say it wrong?
08:35Did you say it wrong?
08:36I don't know.
08:37I don't know.
08:38I don't know.
08:39I don't know.
08:40I don't know.
08:41I don't know.
08:42I don't know.
08:43I don't know.
08:44I don't know.
08:45I don't know.
08:46I don't know.
08:47I don't know.
08:48I don't know.
08:49I don't know.
08:50I don't know.
08:51Alan?
08:52Well, he answered all the questions.
08:54Who's Alan?
08:55What's his name?
08:56What do you mean?
08:57Did I say it wrong?
08:58Did I say it wrong?
08:59Did you say it wrong?
09:00Yeah.
09:01Well, is it...
09:02If you call somebody a completely different name, is that something?
09:04Yeah.
09:05It's Tom.
09:06You've been in quite a few shows with Tom.
09:08I have.
09:09I have been, yeah.
09:10Have you called him Alan every time?
09:11Sorry, Tom.
09:12It's a real rollercoaster for the ego, this show.
09:16I know.
09:17Mattie, does your dad ever get emotional?
09:20He does.
09:21He gets angry.
09:22He gets very competitive.
09:24Is that true?
09:25Genuinely?
09:26Yes.
09:27He gets really wound up.
09:28Yes, very true.
09:29You'll find out later if we don't manage to get it.
09:31Ten out of ten, like Alan over there.
09:33LAUGHTER
09:34OK, well, Tom, Maddie and Fleur, let's get set for your next question.
09:51Your next category is all about Elvis.
09:54You have to name the Elvis song from the synonyms.
09:57For example...
09:59Prison Stone would be what, Mum?
10:01No idea.
10:02LAUGHTER
10:03Jailhouse Rock.
10:05So, synonym.
10:07Parents, it's time to bid.
10:09Now, I can tell you that when Mum tried this earlier,
10:12she scored zero.
10:14LAUGHTER
10:15Steve, you're going to be opening the bids.
10:18How many do you think Maddie can get?
10:20A really tricky one, cos I don't think she'll know many of the songs,
10:24but obviously so many of them are just classics that everybody knows,
10:27and she'll be quite good on the whole wordy aspect of it
10:30and the synonyms, so I'll give an opening bid of one.
10:33LAUGHTER
10:36Irene, are you going to do a higher bid than one?
10:39I'd say six.
10:41Six?
10:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
10:49I'm going to tell you this, Irene,
10:51you're one of the most surprising guests we've ever had.
10:53LAUGHTER
10:55Irene Allen?
10:56No.
10:57I...
10:58I think we're out on this one.
10:59You're out.
11:00OK, fair enough.
11:01So, Steve, you bid one.
11:03Do you want to go seven for Maddie?
11:05SIGH
11:08I don't think so.
11:09I don't think she'd know enough, so sorry.
11:11Are you sure?
11:12Yeah, we're out. Sorry.
11:13That means that playing for £600, it's Fleur!
11:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
11:22APPLAUSE
11:24Hello, tell me, how are you feeling about this?
11:29Not confident at all.
11:30Oh.
11:31I don't know.
11:32I think...
11:33Yeah, I think this is an imposter.
11:34I don't think I brought my mum with me.
11:35LAUGHTER
11:36So, out of ten, your mum thinks you can name six Elvis songs
11:40from the synonyms.
11:41To solve each question, you need to give the full song title.
11:44Fleur, are you ready?
11:45No, but let's do it.
11:46OK.
11:47Great.
11:48Off you go.
11:52Sad sheepskin sandals.
11:53Blue suede shoes.
11:54Is correct.
11:55Well done.
11:56You've got five for that.
11:57APPLAUSE
11:58Sorrow B&B.
11:59Mmm!
12:00Lonely driving or sad driving or something?
12:04Oh!
12:05Sad...
12:06You can pass if you want.
12:07Yeah, pass.
12:08OK, pass that one.
12:09You're Satan in fancy dress.
12:12You're a devil in a blue, red dress.
12:16Keep guessing.
12:17You're...
12:19evil in disguise.
12:21You're a devil in disguise.
12:22Yes!
12:23We're going to accept that, yes.
12:24OK, next one.
12:25Unbound ballot.
12:26Unchained melody.
12:27Yes!
12:28OK, you've got three to get.
12:30Slightly reduced chit-chat.
12:34Hush, baby...
12:36I don't know.
12:37Pass.
12:38OK, next one.
12:39Let's see the next one.
12:40Snog me fast.
12:41Kiss me quick.
12:42Yes, that's correct.
12:43Well done.
12:44You've got two to get.
12:46Flaming lust.
12:47Burning desire.
12:48No, can't accept that.
12:49Burning flame, burning passion.
12:51No.
12:52Hot, hot desire.
12:53You can pass if you want.
12:54I'll pass.
12:55Go on.
12:56Unable to assist tripping in adoration.
13:02I'm...
13:03I don't know.
13:04Pass.
13:05OK, let's see the next one.
13:06Passful intellects.
13:09Oh, something mine.
13:10Something...
13:11Oh, I don't know.
13:13Pass.
13:16Time's up, I'm afraid, Fleur.
13:19I'm very sorry, you couldn't reach six, which means the money is getting split between the others.
13:23Please, could you give it up for Fleur?
13:25APPLAUSE
13:26OK, Fleur, that was tough, wasn't it?
13:27That was so hard.
13:28I knew the last one right at the end.
13:29Suspicious mind.
13:30Yeah.
13:31Let's have a look at the ones you couldn't get.
13:32We had...
13:33Sorrow B&B.
13:34Heartbreak Hotel.
13:35Heartbreak Hotel.
13:36Heartbreak Hotel.
13:37Yep.
13:38Our next one was...
13:39Slightly reduced chit chat.
13:40Anybody?
13:41A little less conversation.
13:42A little less conversation.
13:43Flaming lust.
13:44Burning love.
13:45Burning love.
13:46Yep.
13:47Unable to assist tripping in adoration.
13:49Can't help falling in love with you.
13:50Yes, that's right.
13:51Can't help falling in love.
13:52There you go.
13:53Tom.
13:54What?
13:55Do you think you could have got more of those than Fleur?
13:56What?
13:57Mum just chastised me for saying, don't say what.
14:00No, I think it's one of those ones, isn't it, where when you're sat back here or, you know, afterwards, it's fine, but I think when you're standing there doing it, it's stressful.
14:06It is stressful.
14:07That's very nice.
14:08That's very nice.
14:09Yeah.
14:10Yeah.
14:11Yeah.
14:12Yeah.
14:13Yeah.
14:14Yeah.
14:15Yeah.
14:16Yeah.
14:17Yeah.
14:18Yeah.
14:19Yeah.
14:20Yeah.
14:21I'm the limited one up here.
14:22Yeah.
14:23Yeah.
14:24Yeah.
14:25Yeah.
14:26It's stressful.
14:27It is stressful.
14:28It's stressful.
14:29That's very, very nice.
14:30Why Pinиновалось, would you tell me what the scores are, please?
14:32Manny and Steve, 300 pounds.
14:37Tom and Irene Allen, 1000 pounds.
14:38OK.
14:39And there are three teams playing.
14:41There's no!
14:47Slow and Irene.
14:48Yeah.
14:49Zero point. Yeah, I didn't want to say it. You don't want to say it. Well, you can't just ignore them
14:58You've got a thousand Maddie and Steve you've got 300
15:05Do you want to have another go right floor and I read nothing there zero point
15:11I
15:18Now as my wife Lisa said to me when I entered the bedroom where nothing but crocs it's time for a break
15:23See you
15:39Welcome back to parents evening was I call it bringing a family member on TV seemed like a good idea at the time
15:45Kids remember you can't influence your parents during these questions. Okay, so once again, let's get set for our next one
15:53I
15:58This time your question is all about
16:01Celebrity lookalikes you're gonna have to guess a celebrity from their professional look-alike for example. So this mom
16:09Look like this friend actor. I don't know his name. Do you know his character now? No, no
16:16Matt LeBlanc
16:18Difficult to say then a metal block
16:23Parents it's time to bid
16:27When mum tried this earlier she scored three
16:32Yeah, that's how low their expectations
16:36Irene you're gonna be opening the pits
16:38How many do you think Fleur can get?
16:41How many do you think Fleur can get?
16:43Four
16:45Four!
16:47Okay, Irene Allen
16:49Five
16:50Now Steve just to give you a bit of context you are yet to bid higher than one
16:56Yeah
16:56In this game
17:00Six
17:01Oh
17:05Irene do you want to go higher than six or not no?
17:09No, okay, you're out
17:10Irene Allen six is the bid to beat
17:12No, I think I'm out
17:14You are out
17:18I'm in trouble
17:20You know what that means
17:22Playing for six hundred pounds, it's Maddie
17:32Maddie, how are you feeling about this? What do you think?
17:34I had um, I had faces of actors on my things I'll be shit at list so not great
17:39Okay, really not great
17:40Okay, are you ready Maddie?
17:42Sure
17:42Off you go
17:44Who does this look like?
17:46Um, pass
17:48Okay
17:48I don't know
17:49Who does this look like?
17:50Oh, um, um, I don't know, pass
17:52Pass, okay
17:53Next one, who do you think this looks like?
17:55Pass
17:56Okay, what about this one?
17:57Um, Snoop Dogg
17:59Snoop Dogg is correct
18:03Who do you think this looks like?
18:05Mr Bean
18:06Mr Bean
18:07Let's see the next one
18:21Who does this look like?
18:22Oh my god, I don't know
18:24Pass
18:25Okay, let's have a look at the next one
18:29Um
18:30Another guess?
18:31Pass
18:32Okay, pass
18:33Who does this look like?
18:34Oh my god, I don't know
18:38Any guesses?
18:40Pass
18:41Okay, uh, who does this look like?
18:43I don't know
18:45Kim Jong-un is correct
18:48Okay, you've got four to get
18:49Who does this look like?
18:50I sort of recognise him a little
18:52But pass, I don't know
18:54Okay, let's go back to the ones you missed
18:55Who do you think this could be?
18:57Um
18:59Pass, I don't know
19:00Okay, let's have a look at the next one
19:03I'm so sorry
19:04Bad luck, Maddie
19:05You couldn't reach six
19:06Which means the money is split between the other teams
19:08Please give it up for Maddie
19:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:18Steve, that was a tough round, wasn't it?
19:20Yeah, I think I knew a few of them
19:23Okay
19:25Let's have a look at the ones you didn't get, Maddie
19:27This first one, anybody got any ideas?
19:29Justin Timberlake
19:30It is Justin Timberlake
19:32Next one
19:34Ian Wright
19:35Ian Wright, yeah
19:36Who do we think this is?
19:37Madonna
19:38Madonna, it is Madonna
19:41Does anybody have any ideas?
19:41Is that supposed to be Rishi Sinner?
19:43It is supposed to be Rishi Sinner
19:45Oh, I don't remember
19:46If you are a huge racist
19:48This one's a tricky one, anyone got any ideas?
19:54Is it Keir Starmer?
19:55It is supposed to be Keir Starmer
19:58Let's have a look at the next one
20:00Debra Meadon
20:01Debra Meadon is right, that's Debra Meadon
20:04And this next one
20:06Is schoolteacher from your nightmares
20:10Does it, do you know this one?
20:11Dave Grohl
20:12It is Dave Grohl
20:13Ah
20:14And then this one
20:15I'm going to say I think this one might be
20:18The most tenuous one of the lot
20:20Cameron
20:21David Cameron, no
20:23It is in fact
20:25Jonathan Ross
20:33I'm proud that Maddie only got two now
20:37Okay, mum
20:38What has that done to the scores please?
20:40Fleur and Irene
20:41300 pounds
20:42Yeah, good
20:46Betty and Steve
20:47Yeah
20:47Got 300 pounds
20:48Yeah
20:51President Irene Allen
20:53Got 1,300 pounds
20:55CHEERING
20:56CHEERING
20:57CHEERING
20:57CHEERING
20:58CHEERING
20:58OK, from this point on
21:02You will not be given any clues
21:03Instead
21:04You're going to be given a category
21:06And you have to list as many correct answers
21:08As you can in that category
21:10Plus
21:11Every correct answer is now worth
21:13200 pounds
21:15So that's even more money our teams definitely will not win
21:19Tom
21:20Maddie and Fleur
21:21Let's get set for your next question
21:22OK, parents
21:30Which of your kids can name Nando's sides?
21:34Oh!
21:36Now from this point on
21:37If any of you say an answer before the game begins it will be considered cheating
21:40OK
21:40In which case I'll take that answer away and take 100 pounds off your total
21:44Which will go towards relocating my mum back to Sri Lanka
21:47OK
21:47LAUGHTER
21:48Irene, how well does Fleur know her Portuguese chicken?
21:52LAUGHTER
21:53Fleur loves Nando's
21:54And she does
21:55She does, OK, so you think she could do very well on this?
21:57Yes
21:58Yes, OK, hello
21:59OK
22:00Hello, now we're getting on now, aren't we?
22:01LAUGHTER
22:04Being dangerously close to a bit of rapport
22:06LAUGHTER
22:08LAUGHTER
22:10OK, parents, it is time to bid
22:14When mum tried this earlier, she scored four
22:17Yeah
22:17Ooh!
22:18Irene Allen, you are going to be opening the bid
22:20So how many do you think Tom can get?
22:23Three
22:24Three, OK
22:26Steve
22:28Four
22:29Oh, OK, four
22:31Irene?
22:33Five
22:34Five
22:35I don't know why I gave her that drama, it's just the next number up
22:37No problem
22:38Irene Allen, five is the bid to beat, what do you think?
22:41No
22:42OK, you're out
22:44Yeah
22:45Just you two in this now, Steve
22:47What are you thinking?
22:48You've got a bid of five to beat
22:50Six
22:53It's maybe one too many, so I'm going to say we're out
22:56You are out, which means that playing for £1,000, it's Fleur!
23:02CHEERING
23:07Welcome back
23:12Thank you
23:12How do you feel about this category?
23:14I love my food
23:15Yeah?
23:15Yeah, my mother knows me very well
23:17OK
23:18I'm glad I don't know if you noticed, we're really getting on
23:21Yeah
23:22It's like a house on fire, actually
23:23Absolutely, it's a blaze
23:25OK
23:26LAUGHTER
23:28LAUGHTER
23:30OK, so your mum thinks that you can name five Nando sides, OK?
23:41Yes
23:41Multiple guesses are allowed, but if you take too long without giving a correct answer, you will time out
23:46Fleur, are you ready?
23:47Yes
23:47Good luck to you
23:48Off you go, we need five sides
23:50I'll start with my favourite, peri-peri-chips
23:52Peri-chips, is that up there?
23:54Yes, OK, four to get
23:56My husband's favourite, corn on the cob
23:59Yep, that's one, you've got three to get
24:01My auntie Tina's favourite, coleslaw
24:04Yep, that's up there, two to get
24:05Broccoli
24:06Broccoli
24:09We'll accept that, it's long-stem broccoli, but you know, I'll let the stems go
24:12You've got one to get
24:18Uh, macho peas
24:19Let's see if that's up there
24:20Yes
24:25Yes
24:26Yes
24:27Congratulations, you scored five, winning you a thousand pounds
24:32Give it up for Fleur
24:34Thank you
24:35Thank you
24:40OK, let's have a look at the full list
24:43You've got chips, coleslaw, corn on the cob
24:45I mean, I don't need to read them on that
24:47Irene, what's your favourite if we were to go to Nando's together?
24:58We were getting on, I pushed it too far
25:02She's backed away
25:03Mum, what are the scores, please?
25:05Mary and Steve, 300 pounds
25:07Good
25:10Fleur and Irene, 1,300 pounds
25:17Tom and Irene Allen got 1,300 pounds
25:24Time for a break now, so why don't you start a sentence with
25:27You know what we haven't done for a while
25:29and see the fear in your family's eyes
25:30Uh, see you in a bit
25:33Who are you?
25:37Buddy!
25:43LAUGHTER
25:46APPLAUSE
25:48Welcome back to Pirates Evening,
25:49the show that, believe it or not,
25:50isn't a race to see who can let their parents down the most
25:53Tom, Maddy and Fleur, let's get set for your next question.
26:04This question is all about swimming pool rules.
26:08You are going to have to list actions that are not permitted at any time
26:12in your average swimming pool.
26:14And the average swimming pool we've chosen for this list
26:16is my local leisure centre in Crawley.
26:19OK, well, believe it or not, one of the rules isn't
26:22about peeing in the pool.
26:24So, we're going to do a little truth exercise here.
26:26Can everyone close their eyes?
26:27Everyone close your eyes.
26:28Now, anybody who has ever peed in the pool, please raise your hand.
26:36OK, hands down.
26:37And open your eyes.
26:39I can tell you that one of you has done that.
26:46OK, parents, it is time to bid.
26:50When Mum tried this earlier, she scored two.
26:53Steve, you're going to be opening the bids.
26:55Yeah.
26:56How many do you think Maddy can get?
26:57Well, I'm just going to start with two.
26:59Two.
27:00Number two.
27:01That's good.
27:02In the pool.
27:03Nice.
27:04Irene.
27:05I'll say four.
27:06You will say four.
27:07OK.
27:08Irene Allen, what do you think?
27:10Five.
27:11Five.
27:12Steve, five to beat.
27:13What do you think?
27:14I mean, you know, we've all been swimming, we've all seen those signs.
27:17Yeah, go on.
27:18Let's go six.
27:19Oh, nice.
27:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:23Irene, it's a bid of six to beat.
27:25What would you like to do?
27:27You're out?
27:28Yes.
27:29OK, cool.
27:30Do you see?
27:31You didn't even have to say, because of our connection,
27:33I knew straight away, Irene wants out.
27:35OK.
27:36Irene Allen, you've got a bid of six to beat.
27:38What do you think?
27:39Can Tom get more than six?
27:41Seven.
27:42Oh!
27:45Oh!
27:46Steve, what do you think?
27:47I daren't go to eight, so I'm going to say we're out.
27:50You are out, which means that playing for £1,400 is Tom Allen!
27:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:03Your mum thinks that you can name seven of Crawley Leisure Centre's
28:06swimming pool rules.
28:07Seven to get.
28:09Off you go.
28:11No bombing.
28:13No...
28:14That is good.
28:15Keep guessing.
28:16No heavy petting.
28:17No petting is one.
28:18No running.
28:19No running, yeah.
28:20Keep going.
28:21No food.
28:22No food.
28:23Yeah, good.
28:24You've got three to get.
28:25No jumping.
28:26We'll accept no jumping, no acrobatics.
28:27OK, next one.
28:28No acrobatics.
28:29OK.
28:30No verrucas.
28:31LAUGHTER
28:33No, keep guessing.
28:35No skipping.
28:36No skipping.
28:37No crying.
28:38No crying.
28:39No keep guessing.
28:40Keep guessing.
28:41No falling.
28:42No colds.
28:43No hats.
28:44No hair.
28:45No hair.
28:46No trunks.
28:47No...
28:48Oh!
28:49Oh!
28:50Bad luck.
28:51You couldn't reach seven, which means that the money is getting split between the others.
28:57But please give it up for Tom Allen.
28:59CHEERING
29:00Let's have a look at the full list.
29:07No acrobatics.
29:08There you go.
29:09No glass or ceramic products.
29:10Who takes ceramic products?
29:12LAUGHTER
29:13Mum, what are the scores, please?
29:15Maddie and Steve, £1,000.
29:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:19Tom and Irene Allen, £1,300.
29:24Yeah.
29:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:27Fleur and Irene, £2,000!
29:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:36Huh?
29:37Huh?
29:38There you are.
29:39OK, Tom, Maddie and Fleur, let's get you set for the last question in this round.
29:44MUSIC
29:50OK, you are going to have to name superstitions.
29:54So you've got to name the superstitions that the British public believes are most likely to bring bad luck.
30:00Steve, how superstitious are you?
30:02Um, fairly, like, averagely.
30:05Averagely, OK.
30:07Do you think Maddie is superstitious or will she know about superstitions?
30:11She'll know a few for sure, yeah, definitely.
30:13OK.
30:14Irene, do you and Fleur have bad luck?
30:16Yes.
30:17LAUGHTER
30:18There was a time, yeah, once, there was a time...
30:21Yeah.
30:22..she was going to do her exams and I was going to work.
30:26But I forgot that she was going to do her exams, so I locked the door
30:29without knowing that she's in the house.
30:31LAUGHTER
30:32So the phone rang and it was at school.
30:35They said, Fleur, you've got exams today, have you forgotten?
30:38LAUGHTER
30:39So she jumped over the fence and then went to her neighbours,
30:42house and then she quickly ran to the school to do exams.
30:47Wow.
30:48That's sort of bad luck slash negligence.
30:50Yeah.
30:51LAUGHTER
30:56OK, parents, it's time to bid.
30:59When Mum tried this earlier, she scored two.
31:04LAUGHTER
31:05Irene, it's your turn to bid first.
31:07How many do you think Fleur can get?
31:09I'd say four.
31:10Irene Allen?
31:11Five.
31:12Five.
31:13OK.
31:14Steve?
31:16Um...
31:18Six.
31:19Wow.
31:20OK, six.
31:21Irene?
31:22Do you want to go higher than six?
31:26No.
31:27You're out.
31:28OK.
31:29So, Irene Allen, do you want to bid higher than six?
31:33No.
31:34Oh, jeez.
31:35I'm out.
31:36OK.
31:37Well, that means that playing for £1,200, it's Maddie!
31:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:51Maddie, what do you think?
31:52How do you feel about this one?
31:53I don't know if I can get six.
31:55OK.
31:56I mean...
31:57Yeah, I'll see.
31:58So, your dad thinks that you can name six superstitions
32:00that the British public believes are most likely to bring bad luck.
32:03OK?
32:04Right.
32:05And this is according to a recent YouGov survey.
32:06You've got six to get.
32:10Off you go.
32:11Um, like, a black cat.
32:13Yeah, black cat crossing your path.
32:14You've got five to get.
32:15Great start.
32:16Saluting a magpie.
32:18Saluting a magpie?
32:19No.
32:20Walking under a ladder.
32:22Walking under a ladder.
32:23That is one.
32:24OK.
32:25Four to get.
32:26Peacock feathers.
32:27No.
32:28Keep guessing.
32:29Putting your shoes on the table.
32:31Putting your shoes on the table.
32:32Is that there?
32:33Yes, that is.
32:34Three to get.
32:35Breaking a mirror.
32:36Smashing a mirror.
32:37Breaking a mirror.
32:38That is up there.
32:39You've got two to get.
32:40Oh, God.
32:41Um...
32:43Getting locked in a bathroom.
32:44Getting locked in a bathroom.
32:45Yeah.
32:46I'm thinking of an Inside Over 9 episode, but...
32:50OK.
32:51Um...
32:52Oh, God.
32:53So, just try and give us something.
32:55Um...
32:56Oh, I don't know.
32:59Oh, Maddie, I'm so sorry.
33:01You couldn't reach six.
33:02I'm afraid that means the money is split between the others.
33:04You did very, very well.
33:05Please give it up for Maddie.
33:13Maddie, I...
33:14I couldn't think of it.
33:15Maddie, I felt for you there because you had such a great start and I thought you were definitely
33:19going to do it and then it just...
33:20Yeah, I just don't know six.
33:23Here's the full list.
33:25Uh...
33:26Oh, yeah, I should...
33:27I was thinking spilling salt but I thought it was wrong.
33:29Yeah.
33:30Number 13, number 66.
33:31Opening Umbrella Indoors.
33:32Yeah, I should have got that, really.
33:33Maddie, you said magpies as one of your guesses.
33:35What was that about?
33:36Yeah, maybe that's not for bad luck.
33:38That...
33:39I was just thinking of superstitions.
33:40Yeah.
33:41We, every time we see a magpie, you salute it and you say, hello, Mr Magpie, sorry, you're on your own.
33:50It's quite similar to what the kids at school used to say to me.
33:55OK, Mum, what has that done to the schools?
33:57Maddie and Steve, 1,000 pounds.
34:00Yeah.
34:04Tom and Irene Allen, 1,900.
34:07Wow.
34:08Fler and Irene, 2,600 pounds.
34:16There is one more round before our final.
34:18Tom, Maddie and Fler, you're going to be answering on the buzzer but we've given those buzzers to your parents.
34:23And they won't just decide when you answer but what you answer.
34:27Get one right and you will add £400 to your total.
34:30But get it wrong and it will be split with the other teams.
34:33At the end, whoever has the biggest prize pot will win that money and go through to our final.
34:37With a chance to double it.
34:39Are you ready?
34:40Everybody.
34:41Then let's begin.
34:48First question.
34:49Name the waiter.
34:53Irene Allen.
34:54B.
34:55B, Tom?
34:56Manuel.
34:57It is Manuel.
34:58The other one is Gunter.
34:59Next question.
35:01Name the instrument.
35:03Steve?
35:04B.
35:05B.
35:06Maddie?
35:07A trumpet?
35:08No, it's a saxophone.
35:09A little brother played one.
35:12A.
35:13This is Dennis Go.
35:14Next question.
35:15Name the boys.
35:16Irene Allen.
35:17A.
35:18A.
35:19A.
35:20A.
35:21Tom?
35:22Beach Boys.
35:23It is the Beach Boys.
35:24And B is the History Boys.
35:25Next question.
35:26Name the girls.
35:29Irene Allen.
35:30B.
35:31B, Tom?
35:32The Golden Girls.
35:33It is the Golden Girls.
35:34Tom, would you have known A?
35:35No.
35:36Mean Girls.
35:37Oh.
35:38Next question.
35:39Name the pastor.
35:40Irene Allen.
35:41B.
35:42B, Tom?
35:43Pen A.
35:44It is Pen A.
35:45Would you have known A?
35:46Usually.
35:47It is absolutely right.
35:48OK, next question.
35:49Name the euphemism.
35:52Steve?
35:53A.
35:54A.
35:55No Flicks and Chill.
35:56Maddie, would you have had any idea what B was?
35:57How's your father?
35:58It is.
35:59How's your father?
36:00Yes, absolutely right.
36:01OK, next question.
36:02Name the bishop.
36:03Irene Allen.
36:04B.
36:05B.
36:06Tom?
36:07John.
36:08It is John Bishop.
36:09You would have known A, would you?
36:10Of course.
36:11Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
36:12OK.
36:13Next question.
36:14Name the city.
36:15Irene Allen.
36:16B.
36:17B.
36:18Tom?
36:19John.
36:20It is John Bishop.
36:21You would have known A, would you?
36:22Of course.
36:23Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
36:24OK.
36:25Next question.
36:26Name the city.
36:28Irene Allen.
36:31A.
36:32A.
36:33Tom?
36:34Athens.
36:35It is Athens.
36:36Would you have got B?
36:38I think it's Edinburgh, but I don't know if that...
36:40Or Bath.
36:41It's actually Sunderland.
36:43Oh.
36:44Wow.
36:45Next question.
36:46Name the dog breed.
36:49Irene Allen.
36:50A.
36:51A.
36:52Tom?
36:53Golden Retriever.
36:54It is a Golden Retriever.
36:55Would you have got B?
36:57Well, B is Pitbull, and people often think I am him.
37:01Yes.
37:02I can see you.
37:03Very similar.
37:04OK, next question.
37:05Name the cock.
37:09Irene Allen.
37:10A.
37:11A.
37:12Tom?
37:13Alfred Hitchcock.
37:14It is Alfred Hitchcock.
37:15And the other answer Tom would have been?
37:16Shuttle.
37:17Yeah, OK.
37:18Yes, thank you.
37:19Next question.
37:22OK, time is up.
37:26That is the end of the round, Mum.
37:27Can you please confirm the final scores for us?
37:29Merriest Steve, £1,400.
37:36Fleur and Irene, £2,800.
37:44Tom and Irene Allen, £5,300.
37:47Oh!
37:52Congratulations, Tom and Irene.
37:54You have made it through to the final!
37:56Yeah!
38:02Steve and Maddie, it was a valiant effort.
38:04Steve, when you look back at your game, what are your reflections on how you did?
38:08I was really proud of Maddie.
38:09She's playing against two really top celebrities and I can't believe she didn't know what a saxophone was because her little brother Adam played one for many years.
38:21But no, I'm very proud of what she's done.
38:23Maddie, you've genuinely done brilliantly.
38:24Well done.
38:26Really good.
38:31Irene, it's been a hell of a ride for us, hasn't it?
38:42What I would say is you really didn't like the buzzer round at all.
38:46What happened there with the buzzers?
38:48I didn't know if I was going to get it right.
38:50You had no confidence in her getting any of those.
38:52You might as well have left her at home locked in the house.
38:56OK, well, we've got to take a break now.
38:59Join us in a bit to see if Tom and Irene can double their money in our final round.
39:03Why not take this time to remind your kids that love is unconditional, but being in the will isn't.
39:08See you in a bit.
39:09Welcome back to Parents Evening because families falling out is great telly.
39:27Tom and Irene, by making it through to the final, you have secured your prize for charity.
39:32Mum, how much have they won?
39:33£5,300.
39:38But if you succeed in this round, we will double that, bringing the jackpot to what, Mum?
39:42£10,600.
39:44Yes!
39:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:47So, you're going to see a board of 12 possible answers, but only five of them are correct.
39:53To double your jackpot, all you have to do is identify all five.
39:57If you pick three wrong answers, I'm afraid you lose the round,
40:00but you do leave with the original jackpot of £5,300.
40:04Irene, you're going to be picking the category.
40:06So, here you go.
40:07We have Barbie, Bingo and Football.
40:11What are you thinking from those three categories?
40:13I've got no idea about it.
40:16I suppose...
40:18Football.
40:19Football.
40:20OK.
40:25Tom, Irene, for the last time, let's play Paris Evening!
40:31APPLAUSE
40:39I'm sorry.
40:40Come on over.
40:41Well, let me tell you, the last round, super competitive from Mum.
40:47This round...
40:48Not so.
40:49..don't stand a fucking chance.
40:52So, what you have to do for this round is you have to name five genuine football mascots.
40:57OK?
40:58Oh, shit.
40:59As my mum just said, oh, shit.
41:02LAUGHTER
41:03I didn't.
41:04Here are the possible answers.
41:06Aston Gorilla.
41:08Eddie the Eagle.
41:10Fred the Red.
41:11Bubbles the Bear.
41:13Wolf Alice.
41:14Sean the Sheep.
41:16Tony the Tiger.
41:17Gunnasaurus Rex.
41:19Captain Morgan.
41:21The Sue Ness Monster.
41:23Moon Chester.
41:24And Stamford the Lion.
41:25So, five of those are genuine football mascots.
41:28Seven aren't.
41:30Take a look, and when you're ready, give me your first answer.
41:34Well, um, I did go and see West Ham once.
41:38Where?
41:39And Wes them, as I call them.
41:41And, um, they have that song, I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles.
41:45But I think Bubbles the Bear might be the West Ham mascot.
41:49OK.
41:50What do you think, Irene?
41:51Do you want to go for that?
41:52Do you want to lock that in?
41:53Yes.
41:54I lock it in.
41:55OK, great.
41:56So, Bubbles the Bear.
41:58Is that a genuine football mascot?
42:03There you go.
42:04It's the mascot for West Ham.
42:07Let's hear what your next answer is.
42:10I was going to say Eagle.
42:11The Eagle.
42:12There's Crystal Palace.
42:13They are the Eagles, aren't they?
42:14I mean, I know there's Eddie the Eagle who's also the skier, isn't there?
42:18I'm looking at the others and I'm...
42:20Well, what's the point?
42:21I mean, it's been a lovely day out.
42:25Shall we try Eddie the Eagle?
42:26OK.
42:27Let's give it a whirl.
42:28Crystal Palace.
42:29That's what they say.
42:30Little football, isn't it?
42:31Let's give it a whirl.
42:33Let's lock in Eddie the Eagle.
42:35Is Eddie the Eagle a football mascot?
42:40No.
42:41He's a ski jumper, as he said.
42:43What would you like to go for next?
42:45What about...
42:46It's a gorilla?
42:47Aston.
42:48I like Aston Gorilla.
42:49Yeah, let's go with that.
42:50Aston Gorilla.
42:51Aston Gorilla.
42:52Aston Villa.
42:53OK.
42:54Let's lock in Aston Gorilla.
42:56Is Aston Gorilla a football mascot?
43:01OK.
43:02God.
43:03This is tense.
43:05What would you like to go for next?
43:06Let's go with Fred the Red.
43:08We've got to make some choices here.
43:09Let's try Fred the Red.
43:10Fred the Red.
43:11Let's lock it in.
43:12Is Aston Gorilla a mascot?
43:13If this is wrong, you are out.
43:14Is Fred the Red a mascot?
43:15Is Fred the Red a mascot?
43:20It is!
43:21It is Irene!
43:22OK.
43:23What do you want to go for next?
43:24What do you think?
43:25I think let's try Stamford the Lion.
43:29Stamford the Lion.
43:30Let's lock it in.
43:31Is Stamford the Lion a mascot?
43:32Or if you get this wrong, you are out.
43:33Yeah, we know!
43:34Don't we know!
43:35Oh!
43:36Well done!
43:37OK.
43:38What do you want to go for next?
43:39You've got two to get.
43:40Ganasaurus Rex might be right.
43:41I seem to remember something inflatable and like a T-Rex going along the side.
43:42Oh, yeah.
43:43Oh, yeah.
43:44Why not?
43:45We're going for that.
43:46Well, let's go for Ganasaurus Rex.
43:47Ganasaurus Rex, now.
43:48If you get this wrong...
43:49Yeah, we're out!
43:50We're getting it!
43:52Is Ganasaurus Rex a football mascot?
43:53Probably not.
43:55Yes!
43:56Oh, yeah, why not come on? Let's go for gunasaurus Rex gunasaurus Rex now if you get this wrong
44:02Yeah, we're out we get it
44:05Is gunasaurus Rex a football mascot probably not
44:15Yes
44:17This is
44:20tense now people very because
44:22The next one
44:26If it's right you double your jackpot and if it's wrong you
44:34What are you thinking for me? It's between wolf Alice and the soonest monster, okay?
44:40What about Manchester?
44:43What did you think Manchester?
44:45Okay, what are you going? Come on. We've got wolf Alice soonest monster of Manchester you want to give football fan
44:49What team would it be? Wolf Hampton Wanderers I would say we're gonna go for that
44:53No, I'm not going to explain to you the stakes of this because it makes you angry
44:59So let's find out
45:01For the jackpot or not is wolf Alice a football mascot
45:05Oh
45:13Let's have a look at the one that you missed
45:15Manchester
45:17Manchester is a Man City mascot Manchester City
45:19They're doing really well
45:20Unfortunately didn't manage to double your jackpot, but you still walk away with
45:245,300 pounds
45:30What charity are you donating the money to?
45:32We're donating it to St Christopher's Hospice in South London
45:36Fantastic. Let's give it up for Tom and Irene
45:38That is all for tonight. Thank you to my guests Flo Rees and Irene from Manson
45:48Maddie and Steve Pemberton
45:50And our winners Tom and Irene Allen
45:54Join me and my mum with three new parental pairs next time on Parents Evening
45:58And remember you can't choose your family, which is a real shame, isn't it?
46:02Say goodbye mum
46:04Bye-bye everybody
46:05Bye-bye
46:32Bye-bye
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