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A look at the realities of growing up poor in America, filmed over 14 years with children from three families.
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00:00:00A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:00:30A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:01:00No matter what I go through, I'll still want to try and try and try to be better.
00:01:05I know people have it worse than me, and I wish no one had that.
00:01:09Everybody knows the American dream, oh, go to college and go live your life. That's all I want to do.
00:01:14And now, young adults.
00:01:16The last thing that I want is for my kids to worry about what we're going to have for dinner or worry about where we're going to stay.
00:01:21Being born poor can start off rough. It can be a difficult process because you limit opportunities.
00:01:26But them opportunities will come.
00:01:28Oh, nice job, man.
00:01:29What can I do today to make myself better for tomorrow?
00:01:32Life has lessons. People make mistakes. You know, life goes on no matter what happens.
00:01:36Changing the cycle that you were born into is very hard.
00:01:40I'm still learning to this day.
00:01:42It's a long, lengthy process.
00:01:44Now on Frontline, born poor.
00:01:48You know, life goes on no matter what happens.
00:02:18You know, life goes on no matter what happens.
00:02:48I'm 13 years old.
00:02:49I'm going to be 14 in three months.
00:02:52We are in the Salvation Army homeless shelter.
00:02:57You guys will know.
00:02:58My dad had got a business and he was making about a good $5,000 a month.
00:03:06We had good and fancy things then.
00:03:09We had a three-bedroom house.
00:03:11Our living room had a 32-inch flat-screen TV in there.
00:03:16My mom's and dad's room had a 42-inch flat-screen TV in their room.
00:03:21And that's what TV you watched the Super Bowl on.
00:03:24Oh, here's one of Tom's old business cards.
00:03:28Oh, yeah.
00:03:29I remember TNC.
00:03:31TNC.
00:03:32Tom and classy.
00:03:33Yeah.
00:03:33When it was good, it was good.
00:03:37But I can remember having five or six jobs a month that were lined up back to back.
00:03:43And I mean decent paying jobs.
00:03:45$4,000, $5,000, $7,000, whatever it was.
00:03:49And all of a sudden, just right about the time when everybody was saying, you know, the recession is coming about, the recession is coming about, people just plain old stop fixing on the houses, stop making repairs.
00:04:03The payment of the house was due in two weeks.
00:04:06And I guess my parents just didn't have the money at the time because he was explaining to us business was slow.
00:04:12And we lost our whole house and everything.
00:04:16So it was back to ground zero.
00:04:19Then we moved to a homeless shelter.
00:04:23Anything that can fit in a book bag or a suitcase, you can take it.
00:04:27Whatever dude, like this TV, the yellow one in the living room, that only made it because it could fit in my bag.
00:04:33If it couldn't fit in my bag, that would have been left behind, too.
00:04:38All my life, I've been wanting to play for a football team.
00:04:41And every time we had a chance or get on the team, I never got the opportunity.
00:04:45It was just there, and I would have went to the training, but it was time for us to go.
00:04:51We have to go.
00:04:53Hurry up.
00:04:54And let's go.
00:04:54Hurry, hurry, hurry.
00:04:55My father works at the Grand Processing Corporation.
00:05:00In the mornings, we get up around 4.30.
00:05:05We get there, we come straight back to go to school.
00:05:09In, in, in, in, in.
00:05:09Sign seats, sign seats, let's go.
00:05:11The journey takes about two hours there and back.
00:05:14We have to go with our mom because the rules say that we couldn't be left in the shelter by ourselves because we weren't old enough.
00:05:23I thank God that he still has a chance and an ability to still go out and get different jobs.
00:05:30It's not a career, something that I want to spend the rest of my working years doing, but it's something that will provide for us to have some food.
00:05:43It just seems like it gets further away every day.
00:05:47I know this is tough, driving out here every day.
00:05:50Daring back, daring back.
00:05:52Daring back, daring back.
00:05:54It'd be so much easier if you could go ahead and grab us a place out here so you don't have to make the trip back and forth.
00:06:04I look at that little house every time I ride back fast.
00:06:09That's a nice one there.
00:06:12You turn around and look back at the house.
00:06:14You might look at it for a while and go on with the rest of the life.
00:06:18Hey, mom, that's what I got on my grades.
00:06:24What?
00:06:26Oh, oh.
00:06:27That's good.
00:06:28One for the Willis tag.
00:06:31That's good.
00:06:32I got two A's, two B's, and two C's.
00:06:35Oh, wow.
00:06:36That's what's up, John.
00:06:37I have to get you a skateboard.
00:06:39Grades is my only way out of here.
00:06:40If my grades not good, I know I can't go to universities like my dream is to go.
00:06:44I know if my grades are not good, I can't play football like I want to.
00:06:48If I don't succeed doing what I have to do in school and making good grades, I will fail.
00:06:54I'm going to live this life.
00:06:56Life of shelters, going through hard times, can't feed my kids.
00:07:01Trying to figure out where I'm going to lay at my head every night.
00:07:14My name is Brittany Smith, and I'm nine years old.
00:07:19It's tough because my mom and dad are poor.
00:07:23My dad just lost his job.
00:07:28One day I tried getting in the shower, and it was cold.
00:07:31I put the hot on all the way, and no cold, and it was freezing.
00:07:38It felt like shoving your face in a bunch of snow.
00:07:42It was freezing.
00:07:44The hot water shut off because we didn't pay the bill in time.
00:07:49It was overdue.
00:07:52So what's the next bill do?
00:07:54Electricity.
00:07:56It'll be 318.
00:07:57We just need to put Roger's ass to work.
00:08:01Yeah.
00:08:02When you see the flat screen TV and the computers and our PS3 and stuff,
00:08:09that's just things we've acquired over the years.
00:08:12Before all this happened, like when we were not this poor.
00:08:24It's broke.
00:08:25I don't know how or why it would have broke.
00:08:29And the cheapest plumber is like $65 an hour.
00:08:33I can't even afford $20.
00:08:35Well, we lived in a farmhouse.
00:08:37My dad lost his job from Picture Perfect.
00:08:40He got laid off, and we got kicked out of there.
00:08:43We moved here.
00:08:44It's not very big.
00:08:46We didn't have enough room, so we had to put it all in storage.
00:08:49And we lost it all because we couldn't pay it.
00:08:56How storage works is you put all your stuff in there when you move.
00:09:00But you have to pay the bill or else it gets thrown out in the street because they have a spare key.
00:09:06I don't think it's right because people shouldn't throw other people's stuff in the street because that's just plain up rude.
00:09:13I got a big makeup thing, and I lost it in storage.
00:09:19I lost my favorite teddy bear.
00:09:21I lost my DS.
00:09:23It was great.
00:09:24It was awesome.
00:09:26I'm bummed out because, like, that was my favorite thing in the world besides my family.
00:09:34I lost my family.
00:09:35I lost my family.
00:09:39Yeah.
00:09:40Caliper shot.
00:09:42You got to get new pistons at least on it.
00:09:44My dad's brakes on the truck isn't working.
00:09:47One time we almost got in a wreck.
00:09:49It sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
00:09:52I hate the sound.
00:09:54When is the cable being shut off?
00:09:59Soon.
00:10:01I own almost $200.
00:10:04The cable, the internet, all that.
00:10:06We don't have the money to pay it.
00:10:08What are you doing?
00:10:11Applying for a job.
00:10:13Have you applied to many places?
00:10:16This will be the third Menards store I've applied at.
00:10:20Walmart, the Anchor Place, quite a few.
00:10:24I hope that my dad will somehow miraculously get his truck working and get a good job so we'll be able to get money to keep this house, hopefully, and not get kicked out.
00:10:36My name is Kaylee Hagwood and I live in Stockton, Iowa.
00:10:53Now I'm 10 years old.
00:10:55Oh, yay!
00:10:56That one was good!
00:10:57That one was good!
00:10:58I don't think we're a rich family, but, like, I think we're kind of a poor family.
00:11:11I'm hungry.
00:11:12I knew you were going to say that as soon as you, you're going to have to wait now, sis.
00:11:18I'm just starving.
00:11:21We don't get the three meals a day, like breakfast, lunch, and then dinner.
00:11:28When I feel just, like, hungry, I'll just, like, I'll feel like I'm so, like, sad and all droopy, and then I'll feel, like, weak.
00:11:38And then some in the mornings I'll be, like, so starving, but then I'll, like, be like, I need some food!
00:11:45But then, like, I'll get, like, but then I don't think of food, and then I'll just think of something else, and then I'll not be hungry anymore.
00:11:56Ow!
00:11:57They asked if you were ready.
00:11:59Combs are hard.
00:12:00One more time.
00:12:02You can't pull it, Mom, when I'm doing this.
00:12:05Stop pulling!
00:12:06I'm sorry.
00:12:07How do you think you have customers?
00:12:09Customers.
00:12:11I don't want you to freaking cut me.
00:12:14I'm not gonna cut you.
00:12:15You better not.
00:12:16I've been in school long enough, I won't cut you.
00:12:18Or you're dead.
00:12:19I mean it.
00:12:21My mom, she has very little in her bank.
00:12:27And, like, she can't pay all of her bills at the same time.
00:12:31My income is $14.80, and the total of my bills is $13.26, and that does not leave me money for food or gas.
00:12:42I've never seen it this bad.
00:12:45Dance!
00:12:47Okay, put them in here.
00:12:53Don't want beer.
00:12:56My best friend is Jordan, and we grew up together.
00:12:59We like to go canning to make money.
00:13:02With canning, the non-squished ones are five cents.
00:13:07And a squished or two cents.
00:13:09Yeah.
00:13:13Some people come over here for gas, and it's not here anymore.
00:13:19The dance hall, that's broken.
00:13:22The train station, it's all rotted.
00:13:26Didn't that used to be a movie theater?
00:13:28No.
00:13:29What did it used to be?
00:13:31It was the old bank.
00:13:33Huh.
00:13:34But I bet there's old money in there.
00:13:37I'm not going in there.
00:13:38The floor fell in.
00:13:41That would be awesome if there was, like, thousands and thousands of dollars.
00:13:47When we can't afford to pay our bills, like, our house bills and stuff.
00:13:52I'm afraid, like, we'll get homeless.
00:13:54Me and my brother will starve.
00:13:57You never know what will happen in your life.
00:14:00So, yeah.
00:14:02Kaley, what are you looking at?
00:14:17It's loud!
00:14:19I would just like to go explore the world.
00:14:22But I'm never going to be able to do this.
00:14:25Because these days, everything is expensive.
00:14:29I watched this one show where it said they're raising the gas prices.
00:14:33And my mom can't even afford gas.
00:14:36We have to be careful how we use our gas, how we use everything.
00:14:41The bills here at the house is just too much for me to handle.
00:14:46Right now, there doesn't seem to be a way out.
00:14:50So, my only options are to give up my house and move my stuff into storage
00:14:56and move into the motel room.
00:14:58We won't get to keep our dog, Nala.
00:15:03And it's extra money and we're going to get rid of her.
00:15:08I don't want to move.
00:15:13Like, I want her to stay put here.
00:15:17I think there's a lot of people in America that need help with food.
00:15:38because they're poor or they're either homeless.
00:15:44Or they're both.
00:15:49We need food for our family.
00:15:51I'm hitting my growth spurt and I'm really hungry.
00:15:56My favorite food is Chinese food.
00:16:00I'm craving that right now.
00:16:03You know what makes me mad?
00:16:06We can't afford it.
00:16:08Huh.
00:16:09Yes, I've seen a lot of things in my life.
00:16:10Mr. J. Clark?
00:16:11Yes.
00:16:12If this is a good time for you, would you like to send your students down for the nutrition club?
00:16:27I'll have them down there shortly.
00:16:29Nutrition club is a bag of food that you get every Friday and you have to make last the whole weekend.
00:16:38They announced in class that you have to go down for a nutrition club if you're in it.
00:16:42You have to go to the office and you have to sign your name in for it.
00:16:46and then you go put it in your locker and then you go back to class.
00:16:53Hi. Good morning, Brittany.
00:16:55I'm surprised by how things can change so fast.
00:16:58You can go from doing okay, not having to go hungry, to this, going hungry and having to pay all your bills
00:17:09and not being able to on the verge of being homeless again.
00:17:15We just found out my mom is pregnant.
00:17:24She's like a whale.
00:17:28My dad's been working.
00:17:30He's been working for a week and he has $64 total.
00:17:35Having a baby is probably not the best idea right now considering that we're going through money problems.
00:17:41Definitely not a good time to have a baby, but I don't believe in abortion.
00:17:47Or adoption.
00:17:49Financially, we're going to be in a lot more trouble.
00:17:53Financially, we'll be strapped.
00:17:56The thing I miss the most from having all this happen is the internet.
00:18:01I mean, people don't realize what they have until it's gone.
00:18:05And serious World of Warcraft withdrawals, man.
00:18:11Cause say in World of Warcraft, I'm awesome.
00:18:15I'm a level 85 paladin.
00:18:18Tank and healer.
00:18:20And in real life, I'm a 14 year old boy with nothing going for him.
00:18:26The good news is I have made it on the football team.
00:18:47I'm the starting quarterback of every game of the season.
00:18:50All I want is to play football.
00:18:58But football is expensive.
00:19:00I can name a few of these items I need and want for my sports.
00:19:05My gloves ripped.
00:19:08A football glove.
00:19:09I asked my mom and dad, can I get something?
00:19:11And my dad was like, but how are you going to get it?
00:19:13I ain't got no money.
00:19:15Take time and run each other.
00:19:17Then the helmet costs.
00:19:18The cleats costs.
00:19:20The hats costs.
00:19:22I believe when there's a will, there's a way.
00:19:25And if you want to do something, fight for it till you can get it.
00:19:31That's what I believe.
00:19:34You get too big.
00:19:35You always want something extra.
00:19:37I don't want nothing extra.
00:19:38Yes, you do.
00:19:39You want a phone.
00:19:40I got a phone.
00:19:41You want shoes.
00:19:42I'm not wearing no Earthwalkers outside.
00:19:44No, sir.
00:19:46Jordans and Nikes.
00:19:47Johnny, Nikes and Jordans are expensive.
00:19:50I know.
00:19:51Just for a name.
00:19:52That makes no sense.
00:19:53You need a job.
00:19:55Nike's not expensive.
00:19:57Look, I've been buying Josh shoes after shoes after shoes.
00:20:01I can't afford it.
00:20:02Now what?
00:20:03Walmart?
00:20:04He got to take Walmart.
00:20:06What else can I do?
00:20:08At least his feet not dragging the ground.
00:20:10It was some Jordan flip flops in there for 30 bucks.
00:20:13Now that's a great deal.
00:20:14You cannot find no Jordan flip flops, the brand new kind for no 30 bucks.
00:20:19They probably not real.
00:20:20Is that a great deal?
00:20:22When I can go to Walmart and buy the shoes I'm wearing, I got from Walmart for $5.
00:20:28I'm to my name brand stuff.
00:20:30They...
00:20:31That's a good deal, mama.
00:20:32My sandals are nice, right?
00:20:33If you listen to it, it's a good deal.
00:20:35You want some of those, right?
00:20:36Ma.
00:20:37See, that's why I like y'all when y'all small.
00:20:39They accept stuff.
00:20:41You get too big.
00:20:44Your feet growing.
00:20:46You in grown people's shoes now.
00:20:49Ugh.
00:20:50Please stop growing.
00:20:52As a mother, you always got different thoughts going through your head and mine and wishing
00:20:58that you could change things and wishing things was different.
00:21:01But what are you to do?
00:21:02You can't keep beating yourself up about it, but at the same time, it's just hard.
00:21:12Having a family is hard.
00:21:15Maintaining a family is hard.
00:21:19Keeping us indoors is hard.
00:21:24I want to be an NFL player.
00:21:36My dad said it takes lots of hard work.
00:21:39Get one.
00:21:40Get one.
00:21:41What do I tell you to do every day?
00:21:43Push-ups and sit-ups.
00:21:44Push-ups and sit-ups.
00:21:46I'm 14.
00:21:48My life is almost over until I'm a grown man.
00:21:52And if I don't have the opportunity to show somebody to play football, football won't
00:21:56exist in four years from now.
00:21:59That dream is going to slowly start fading away.
00:22:02That's what happened to some of the dreams of kids.
00:22:05They pertain to something and they can't afford it.
00:22:08It's a boy.
00:22:21Baby's a boy.
00:22:22I was really hoping for a little sister, but you know, you get what you get.
00:22:27Went back to work for the company that I used to work for and they're not doing the greatest
00:22:34either.
00:22:35Say I got maybe a week's worth of work.
00:22:39And then they're going to be closing up shop from this local office and only keeping one
00:22:46of the three branches open, you know.
00:22:49So it's just temporary.
00:22:52Temporary fix to a long-term problem.
00:22:55Yep.
00:22:56Battery on that one's dead.
00:22:58How much does a new battery for this thing cost?
00:23:00About 30 bucks.
00:23:01I think it pretty much sucks that we can't really fend for ourselves that well.
00:23:07We might lose this house and if we can't, like, move in with somebody, we're going to
00:23:12be, like, literally living on the streets.
00:23:19I'm scared of me growing up, having kids and kind of going through the same stuff, not
00:23:24being able to feed them and not being able to clothe them or whatever.
00:23:27Oh, I ran it over!
00:23:28Poo!
00:23:29That sucks.
00:23:30Dad!
00:23:31I let it die!
00:23:32Oops.
00:23:33I let it die.
00:23:34Only I told him not to do.
00:23:35Don't let it die.
00:23:36I don't think my chances of getting a good job when I grow up are that good because the
00:23:50economy's screwed up.
00:23:52It sucks.
00:23:53I'm trying in school and stuff, but I'm not really doing that good.
00:24:02Maybe big, but I never said I was strong.
00:24:05Ow.
00:24:06It's in my face.
00:24:07If you don't get a good education, you're not going to be able to get a good job, and if
00:24:12you don't get a good job, you can end up like us.
00:24:15Oh, come here.
00:24:16Come on.
00:24:17Oh.
00:24:18No more babies.
00:24:22I got my tubes tight after I had him.
00:24:31I love him, and I wouldn't mind having more, but we can't afford it.
00:24:34The baby's futures are going to be weird and messed up.
00:24:38Life is going to be hard because there's hardly going to be any jobs left in the future,
00:24:45or any money.
00:24:46Even rich people will be poor like this.
00:24:52Like you.
00:24:54You might get poor in the last few months.
00:24:57You never know.
00:25:19While keeping Nala, she was like my dog.
00:25:22She was like my favorite dog, and now we have to go take her to the pound.
00:25:28We have to get rid of Nala, but not taint her.
00:25:33Nala's so adorable.
00:25:36If you had her, she would sleep on your bed, and she would sleep on you.
00:25:42She's like your little guard dog.
00:25:46We're getting rid of my perfect little lovey dog.
00:25:51Yes, Nala.
00:25:52I hear you're stressing out.
00:25:59I love you, Nala.
00:26:13Does she have any favorite toys or games?
00:26:16She needs lots and lots of bones.
00:26:18Okay.
00:26:19Yeah, she chews up bones.
00:26:20She'll chew one in like an hour or so.
00:26:23Okay.
00:26:24She hates bass.
00:26:26Oh yeah.
00:26:27Doesn't like bass.
00:26:28No.
00:26:29This is my animal lover.
00:26:30She'll have to go into our isolation room since she hasn't gotten any vaccinations yet.
00:26:35Yeah.
00:26:36So she'll be in an isolated area right now.
00:26:38Mm-hmm.
00:26:39All right, sweetie.
00:26:41Oh, it's cute, don't you?
00:26:43Do you want the leash and collar back at all?
00:26:45Just the leash.
00:26:46Okay.
00:26:47And the collar.
00:26:48Why the collar?
00:26:49Collar.
00:26:50Mom.
00:26:51Mom.
00:26:52Mom.
00:26:53Me.
00:26:54Me.
00:26:55Mom.
00:26:56Mom.
00:27:15Mom.
00:27:19No.
00:27:24A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:27:54A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:24A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:26A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:28A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:32A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:34A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:36A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:38A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:40A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:42A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:44A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:46A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:48A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:50A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:52A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:54A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:28:58A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:29:00A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:29:02A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:29:04A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:29:06A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:29:08A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:29:10A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:29:12A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:29:14A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:29:16POUR ON THE STREETS
00:29:18IN A BOX
00:29:19ASKING FOR MONEY
00:29:20STEALING STUFF FROM STORES
00:29:22AND...yeah...
00:29:25I DON'T WANNA STEAL STUFF
00:29:28I DON'T WANNA DO ANY OF THAT STUFF
00:29:30I WANNA GET AN EDUCATION
00:29:32GOOD JOB
00:29:34I BELIEVE THAT I'M GONNA GET
00:29:36A PERFECT JOB THAT I LIKE
00:29:38AND THAT I WANT TO DO
00:29:40PEOPLE CAN'T STOP YOU
00:29:42FROM BELIEVING IN YOUR OWN DREAMS
00:29:46SINGLE CLOSEL
00:30:00DAD
00:30:01DAD
00:30:03DAD
00:30:05DAD
00:30:07DAD
00:30:08DAD
00:30:10DAD
00:30:13DAD
00:30:14I'm Kaylee and I'm now 15. I moved to a trailer, then I moved to a duplex, and then I moved here.
00:30:26We've been here for almost a year and a half, two years.
00:30:35Bella, oh my god, I'm so happy I got her. She cuddles with me, actually cuddles.
00:30:41She'll sit there and lay on my chest all night.
00:30:46Bella, can I get it underneath your chin? Will you love me?
00:30:51It's important for me to have a dog because it's kind of like therapy.
00:30:54What's up?
00:30:55My grandma was diagnosed with mucosal melanoma cancer.
00:31:00So grandma went for a front scan today.
00:31:03Mm-hmm.
00:31:04And her thing's getting big again.
00:31:06It's getting bigger?
00:31:07No, well, you know it was small and they got it all, like,
00:31:10contained.
00:31:12Okay, well, I think it's getting, like, the thing that's all like a deflated bloom
00:31:17Yeah.
00:31:18is now starting to inflate again.
00:31:20Again?
00:31:21Yeah.
00:31:22They're probably gonna have to do radiation again.
00:31:23Yeah.
00:31:28My grandma, she gives a lot.
00:31:30Without her, we wouldn't have this house.
00:31:32My mom wouldn't have her car.
00:31:33Like, I wouldn't have a phone.
00:31:35We wouldn't have anything without her.
00:31:39Our electric will probably be shut off by in the morning.
00:31:42Why?
00:31:43We owe them $179 and they won't wait.
00:31:46Being poor, it sucks.
00:31:48It affects, like, not being able to do stuff.
00:31:51If you want to go hang out with your friends, like, go to the movies.
00:31:54You can't do that all the time because you don't have the money for it.
00:31:57I don't want my phone to die.
00:31:58No.
00:31:59I don't even care about my phone.
00:32:00I'm like, how are we gonna eat?
00:32:02We can get things like lunch meat and bread and chips.
00:32:06I'm gonna go to energy assistance on Thursday and they're gonna be able to help me.
00:32:10But I can't get there till Thursday and the electric company will not wait.
00:32:13Our freaking stove is electric.
00:32:16We're gonna be living with, like, a third world country again with no power.
00:32:19We won't have hot water.
00:32:21It's a little depressing.
00:32:23It's really hard.
00:32:25And I know people have it worse than me.
00:32:27And I wish no one had that.
00:32:36Transportation is hard because of my mom.
00:32:39Can't afford gas.
00:32:41Whenever I go to Taekwondo, the instructor, he takes me back and forth.
00:32:49Did it!
00:32:50I like doing Taekwondo because it gets a lot of anger out and stress and stuff.
00:32:57So it helps relieve some of that.
00:33:04There's probably been many children who've grown up in a poor household, became rich in the future.
00:33:11Which I believe I can, but it's a 50-50 chance.
00:33:16I wanted to get a nap in, but that's not happening.
00:33:20That's not happening.
00:33:21You can go do your homework.
00:33:23Good, because I'm buried in it.
00:33:25Good, because I'm buried in it.
00:33:27Well, you do it the first time.
00:33:29It's not from something I don't do.
00:33:32Okay.
00:33:33It's something from when I miss school.
00:33:35Okay.
00:33:36I know I'm not supposed to miss school, but I've missed about six days already.
00:33:42That's a lot.
00:33:43That's why I think my grades are kind of iffy.
00:33:46I can't rely on my mom.
00:33:49She can't even get herself up in the morning, you know?
00:33:51I have to.
00:33:53Your schooling is probably the most important thing ever.
00:33:56Like, your schooling is what gets you somewhere.
00:33:59It's what takes you places.
00:34:03Are you going to go to the bathroom?
00:34:06I cannot wait to get out of Iowa.
00:34:08I know many people say that, but I have a passion of getting out of Iowa.
00:34:13The most thing I'm afraid of is becoming like my mom.
00:34:20No offense, she's trying her best, but I'm scared to death of becoming like her.
00:34:28Her financial situation and things that's happened to her, that affects how she acts.
00:34:35If I become like her, I don't know.
00:34:38I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
00:34:43Yeah.
00:34:44Maybe someday in my future, I'll graduate from college and push through life.
00:35:02Good morning, Grandma.
00:35:03Good morning, Johnny. What's going on?
00:35:05Nothing much.
00:35:06How was work?
00:35:07A little tired from it.
00:35:09You know what I'm saying? They had me working real good last night.
00:35:12It wasn't that long for me to quit.
00:35:14I'm Johnny. I'm 19 now.
00:35:16So I moved my grandmother to Chicago, south side of Chicago.
00:35:20So that's where I'm located now, until I go venture off for college or whatever.
00:35:31My parents, they couldn't sit stable and moving around a lot of places.
00:35:34And I knew it was going to be a problem for me academically as far as my life situation.
00:35:39I guess I start hanging out with the wrong people.
00:35:41I ended up going to jail.
00:35:43We were all making stupid decisions on a consistent basis every single day.
00:35:47They decided that day that they wanted to shoplift.
00:35:50We ended up getting arrested for it.
00:35:52I didn't run because I didn't want to get shot.
00:35:55It was a minor misdemeanor. I got locked up for a day.
00:35:59When I went to jail that day, it was like, you really falling off.
00:36:04You let yourself fall off. You went from all this good stuff happening to you.
00:36:08You going to be, you know what I'm saying, a good football player.
00:36:11Scouts was coming to see me at practices and asking about me and wanting me to play on their team to now you smoking weed and you got locked up and all that.
00:36:22It was just like a reality check to myself. Like, you really falling off. You need to get back on track.
00:36:28And this was my wake up call, I guess. I came up here to start over.
00:36:33The route I was taking down south, it wasn't going good. I was going to be a dropout or something like that.
00:36:38And I had to do it. I had to graduate. Something my parents didn't do, I had to make that opportunity and graduate from college.
00:36:45How you make a move over?
00:36:48Me and my grandma got a real close-knit relationship.
00:36:51Oh, wow. That's beautiful. All four of y'all together, too. That's a blessing.
00:36:58Look at Josh. Wow. Y'all coming up so nicely. Growing up. No more babies. I worry about them.
00:37:11Them going place to place to place, different places and not being stable. That's what worries me.
00:37:18I just hope that they can be able to stay stable somewhere so they all can graduate out of school. Stability is everything.
00:37:26I don't worry about my brothers and sisters. Everybody doing good. Getting good grades, graduating, going to their next grade, doing something positive.
00:37:34I think they're going to be fine.
00:37:38I work for HMR Designs. It's a party and wedding design company.
00:37:43I'm just working to this point until I enroll in school this spring.
00:37:47I just know that the money is needed. So I got to go get it.
00:37:53Work my job gradually and just save my money until when spring come around, enroll in school and start playing.
00:37:59And that's all I'm worried about. But now I'm just going to work and I guess keep myself in some good shape and save my money.
00:38:06That's all I can do right now. If you fall, you got to get up, dust it off and keep on going.
00:38:11That's the only thing you can do until you get to the top.
00:38:15There we go. Go on. Get off me. Oh, yeah. Oh, I got to go.
00:38:21If you come check on me five years from now, probably be somewhere playing for somebody's team.
00:38:26Everybody knows the American dream. Oh, go to college and go live your life.
00:38:30That's all I want to do. Living my dream and take care of my family. That's it.
00:38:50I'm Brittany and I'm now 15 years old. My hair isn't blonde anymore because I dye it, which is one of my hobbies, I guess.
00:38:59I like to do different stuff with my hair. I like it. And I'm probably not going to stop until all of my hair is gone.
00:39:08Give me more of these ones. I'm Roger and I'm now 19. Graduated a high school year and a half early.
00:39:17I got a job. Gotten a few different jobs. Just been working. Working and sleeping.
00:39:26Zachary, one. It's not a toy. You see that? That's germs. That's gross. Put your chair back.
00:39:37My little brother, Zach, turned five. Zach is autistic. To help him, we'll help count with him and we'll help him try to read and stuff like that.
00:39:47I love that little guy. He's so awesome. He's helped pull the family together and definitely takes a lot of stress out of the day.
00:40:02There's your dragon. I think my monster could kick your monster's butt, dude.
00:40:11Well, dang.
00:40:14Middle school was filled with drama and I hated it so much. People would bully me because I was poor. It distracted me focusing on my grades because they were like past notes and everything saying that I was ugly.
00:40:29My lowest point was getting expelled and getting held back. My highest point was finally graduating middle school. And I felt super proud of myself.
00:40:42I like art and creativity because you get away from the real world. It just helps me a lot.
00:40:52It's definitely gone up and down over the past five years. It'll be going good for, you know, a week or two, a month, and then out of nowhere, all the bills pile up and just can't seem to find any money anyway.
00:41:08I know that my parents try to make it less stressful for us, but dad'll come home with a really bad paycheck and then I'll just like start doubting everything.
00:41:18We won't be able to pay bills is what I keep thinking. And I'm thinking like, we're not going to be able to pay rent. We're going to be sitting on the streets or something like that.
00:41:26And just every time that happens, it pops up in my head, being stressed out and everything is part of life.
00:41:33I just need to pick up these two shower doors and a storm door.
00:41:38My dad, he just recently got his job back at Lowe's and that's when I started with him too.
00:41:44I think I've gotten myself into the business to where it's always going to be there. You know, people are always going to need sightings and I always figured if this didn't work out, build toilets.
00:41:55Everybody's always going to need to take a crap. I never really thought that I'd still be at home, but I don't make enough money to make it on my own.
00:42:07I just think at this point in my life, I don't need to be happy right now.
00:42:12When I grow up and if I have kids, I would not want them to be growing up like this.
00:42:17No matter what I go through, I'll still like, you know, want to try and try and try to be better.
00:42:24What do you think of this?
00:42:37No matter what I'm doing, I need to be happy right now.
00:42:43I am in Bettendorf now, and I am 22, almost 23 years old.
00:43:05I got my own house.
00:43:08I put $1,000 from working at a retail store in the mall into marijuana stock.
00:43:16I made around $60,000.
00:43:19I moved out of my mom's, and then a week later, I found my first house, bought that one for
00:43:26around $20,000.
00:43:28A very close friend of the family gave me a little bit of a loan along with the money
00:43:32I had, so fixed it up a bit, and then resold that one, and then did that another time.
00:43:41Now I'm here.
00:43:43Got my GED, and then automatically enrolled in college.
00:43:48I'll have my criminal justice associates, and then I plan on going for my bachelor's,
00:43:54majoring in psychology and minoring in criminal justice.
00:43:57And I got a job as a 9-1-1 dispatcher, a straight month we were doing classroom work.
00:44:04And then the past three weeks, call-taking, actually on the floor live.
00:44:08Dispatch at a 5, copy and route, Jackson Ave, medical alarm for a fall, hot response.
00:44:15I am nervous about messing up, especially when I'm live call-taking, because these are real
00:44:20people and real life emergencies they're going through.
00:44:27Overall, he looks great, looks to be a happy, healthy puppy.
00:44:33He is a very, he's a scaredy cat for sure.
00:44:36Yeah, yeah, just a little nervous.
00:44:38Lay, go, say, oh.
00:44:43I know, I'm here, you forgot, yes.
00:44:46I'm still a dog lover.
00:44:49Bella was put down two and a half years ago.
00:44:51I miss her every day.
00:44:52I have her ashes, I got her cremated.
00:44:54Come on, go play, go play, go play.
00:45:01Now, I have Sadie and Blue.
00:45:05I like to stay in my house, hang with my dogs.
00:45:08I'm a pretty boring 23-year-old.
00:45:10I really just sit at home, breed.
00:45:13Every now and then I'll pull up a TV show, play with my dogs.
00:45:18I'm very much a homebody here in Iowa.
00:45:21I do, on free time, love to bake.
00:45:26I've been trying to make the animals food, because they're amazing taste testers.
00:45:30I tried making them sweet potato chicken nuggets.
00:45:33Not exactly the prettiest, but they taste good, because they love them.
00:45:37Sit.
00:45:42Blue.
00:45:48Well, I think they like it.
00:45:50When you're growing up poor, like, that's your norm.
00:45:59You don't have the best situation, but like, that's just what you're used to.
00:46:07Me and my mom, we don't really talk as often.
00:46:11We have two separate paths in life.
00:46:14We don't really get along the best.
00:46:16You know, holidays are enough time.
00:46:20Sydney, sit.
00:46:22Sit.
00:46:23I've been working really hard to get my life together, and it's starting to point in a direction.
00:46:27But believe me, there's days, like, where it just feels like there is no direction.
00:46:32There was a time where I thought I didn't even want to be alive.
00:46:39Trying to build success is a very lonely life.
00:46:43I've been seeing a therapist for two and a half, three years.
00:46:51With my appointments with my therapist, I've learned as a defense mechanism for your brain, PTSD can kind of block out memories.
00:46:59And unfortunately, most of my childhood is kind of blocked out.
00:47:04Like, when I took Nala to the pound, I don't remember anything that had entailed that day.
00:47:10It is very sad to have the gaps in not being able to remember because, unfortunately, you know it's because you didn't grow up in the best situation and your brain has to protect you.
00:47:21It's a fight every day, and I'm sure those with mental health struggles, they know. Like, it's a fight every day.
00:47:28I'm Johnny. I'm a college football player that plays at the University of Shorter.
00:47:49Right now, we located in Rome, Georgia. It's north of Atlanta.
00:47:55Shorter University. It's a D2 in north Georgia. Coach Morrison was a blessing in disguise. Gave me an opportunity out of nowhere.
00:48:06He just told me I like what I see and we can use you over here.
00:48:17I am a father of three, a husband to Leah Davis.
00:48:22Okay, here. We actually met at the college that I attended in Chicago. I went to National Louis University there. We were very young, so I'd say attraction at first sight.
00:48:34I'm so glad I took pictures of these plays because they took this book from us and we had the right notes.
00:48:39When we first met, he wasn't playing. And I remember pushing him to get back into school and try to figure it out.
00:48:46Every day. Go chase your dream.
00:48:48All right, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. We're taking it, we're taking it.
00:48:50It's my time. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
00:48:52I'm not in the starting lineup because I took a devastating hit to my ankle during camp.
00:48:57Defense, defense, defense. Let's go!
00:49:01I wasn't happy. It was irritating. I hate being hurt. It don't let me be that little kid having fun playing this game.
00:49:08Watch the run! Watch the run!
00:49:10When I'm there on the game day, it is tough to be on the sideline and watch.
00:49:15But I worked my way back up the depth chart so I could play again.
00:49:19Come on! Come on!
00:49:22I'm on special teams. You're waiting on the sideline patiently. You get your name called and you go out there and it's like, okay, all right, it's time to make a play.
00:49:31Get down there! Get down there!
00:49:32Let me go make this happen. Get down there! Get down there!
00:49:35The job on kickoff is run your lane and make a play.
00:49:39Whether that's a tackle or whether that's a strip fumble or whatever it might be.
00:49:43You focus on your assignment at hand and you go get it done.
00:49:46Finally, yeah, yeah.
00:49:47Finally, boy.
00:49:48Now, that ain't my first one, though. It's just been a minute.
00:49:51I got that, though. Let's keep going.
00:49:54I feel good. Let's keep doing it, though.
00:49:56I don't need one. I need more. Let's keep doing it, though.
00:49:59Yo!
00:50:10We'll start in Proverbs and we're going to read to the end of this chapter.
00:50:14We're going to stop each verse to get an understanding and make sure that we know exactly what's going on.
00:50:19In order for you to gain understanding and knowledge, you have to be willing to find people that are going to help give you advice to lead you in the right direction and not those that are going to lead you astray.
00:50:34We tend to lean on each other when things get really difficult. We've been through quite a bit of things, like especially with one of our sons passing, our second son. He was a twin.
00:50:46It was a model, model pregnancy and they were in the same sack together.
00:50:49They both were fighting for their life because they both were strangled by the building corps. They both had it around their neck, apparently.
00:50:57But one had more of a heartbeat than the other, which is the one that's living.
00:51:01The oldest one realized that he was kind of passing, so they kept like swapping blood.
00:51:08Trying to save each other.
00:51:09Trying to save each other's lives, yes.
00:51:11And finally, I guess the oldest one gave off more of the blood to my son that's alive now.
00:51:18And he was trying to do the same, but they got him out before he can give off any more.
00:51:23So it put him in a bad situation when he came out because he was like drained of blood.
00:51:29He had to have a lot of blood transfusions because he didn't really have much in his body because they were trying to save each other.
00:51:36Trying to save each other.
00:51:38I didn't even know children can do stuff like that, like...
00:51:40Yeah, I don't want to do the water work, so I'm sorry.
00:51:43No, you're fine.
00:51:44I'm sorry.
00:51:45It's okay.
00:51:50Yeah, I know.
00:51:53It is crazy, but...
00:51:58This is our son JC. This is the one that passed. This is the second twin.
00:52:02These are just some little keepsakes that we got.
00:52:05It's my baby boy.
00:52:07This is one of the hats that he wore in the photos.
00:52:12It was really difficult.
00:52:14Just wondering what could I have done to prevent this.
00:52:19I couldn't help but think, what if I would have pressed the doctor a little bit more about letting him be more early?
00:52:27They both could have been in the NICU.
00:52:29And Jair's fine.
00:52:31He's three.
00:52:33So, he's doing great.
00:52:36It just makes me wonder, like, we could have had both here doing great.
00:52:42Life is going to come with trials, and life is going to come with tragedy.
00:52:55But even through all of those things, you can still have joy.
00:53:05Go run like this. Don't fall. Don't fall.
00:53:08Be careful, Alaina. Don't fall again.
00:53:10My name is Brittany Smith.
00:53:12A lot of stuff has happened.
00:53:14A lot.
00:53:15I have two kids now.
00:53:17I have a son and a daughter.
00:53:20My daughter is three, about to turn four, and then my son is five, about to be six.
00:53:25I've changed a lot since becoming a mother.
00:53:29Teaching two humans how to live, you definitely learn how to be patient.
00:53:35They're very good kids, very sweet. They're smart.
00:53:38Oh, you want one now?
00:53:40Oh, you want that one?
00:53:41Oh!
00:53:42Just to put it in the water.
00:53:44I love being a mom.
00:53:45They both have brought so much light and happiness into my life.
00:53:49I didn't think that anybody could love me that much.
00:53:53I'm really glad that I have those two in my life.
00:53:56I don't know what I would do without them.
00:53:58They're both my rocks. They're my everything.
00:54:00Isn't that pretty?
00:54:02That is so pretty.
00:54:03Don't put it in the water.
00:54:04It's not going to be fuzzy no more.
00:54:06I just want her to have somebody else who understands the things that she dealt with when she was growing up.
00:54:14Because that's how I felt when I had Roger with me.
00:54:17I felt protected.
00:54:18I felt like I could go to him with anything, you know?
00:54:22He's very missed. I wish my kids would have gotten a chance to meet him.
00:54:30Roger was working with Josh. He was saving up money. He had a girlfriend.
00:54:35They were talking about starting a life together.
00:54:38It was April 15th 2018 and Roger got in a severe car accident and he passed away.
00:54:51The wreck was so bad that it crushed more or less every bone in his body.
00:54:58He was a donor, but they couldn't use anything.
00:55:03He's missed tremendously every day, all day.
00:55:08A big part of our lives is gone.
00:55:14A lot of people came to his funeral.
00:55:18The very first person that showed up was the lunch lady at his high school.
00:55:23Forever in our hearts.
00:55:25That's Roger's urn.
00:55:27That's where he's at.
00:55:29I almost gave up.
00:55:36I starved myself.
00:55:39I ended up in the hospital.
00:55:41That's when I guess I hit rock bottom.
00:55:44And I had to pull myself out of it because I still had children that needed me.
00:55:53And we all grieve differently.
00:55:57It's still too painful for Josh.
00:56:01Brittany went through a severe depression.
00:56:04She lost her best friend and her brother.
00:56:07He died at 19 and I went down a really bad path.
00:56:19I was addicted to Adderall for a while.
00:56:22That was the darkest point I've ever had in my life.
00:56:25I didn't expect to live to 18.
00:56:28I was just going to do Adderall and drink till I died.
00:56:32That was my plan.
00:56:34I definitely lost a lot of myself when he left.
00:56:51A lot.
00:56:54Way too much that I want to admit.
00:56:57I promised myself I wasn't going to cry.
00:57:03I lost pretty much all that I knew of myself when he left.
00:57:08I was sitting on the arm of the couch.
00:57:10My legs are on your leg.
00:57:12When he was four, he was too big to sit on me.
00:57:15It definitely feels very empty without him here.
00:57:18You better not fart.
00:57:19Ow!
00:57:20Ow!
00:57:21Life just doesn't feel real anymore.
00:57:24I miss having my best friend around all the time.
00:57:29When I was at the point where I was at my lowest, that's when I found out that I was pregnant with Odin.
00:57:36Alright, let's draw.
00:57:41Let's draw a mushroom.
00:57:42Mushroom?
00:57:43Mushroom?
00:57:44Easy.
00:57:45I was ready for it to just be over.
00:57:46I didn't want to be here anymore.
00:57:48And then feeling that heartbeat and him kicking and moving inside me just made me feel I had a purpose.
00:57:55And then I finally had him and looking at him for the first time, you just feel all that love just melt into that baby.
00:58:03That was the second I knew, like, I was meant to be his mom.
00:58:07Like, I wasn't supposed to do the things that I was doing.
00:58:10Like, I was not supposed to die.
00:58:12I was supposed to stay here.
00:58:13Then when I had Elena, it was the same feeling all over again, except she pooped all over me when I held her for the first time.
00:58:22Since Roger passed, the only real mental health support that I got was a grieving journal.
00:58:33Looking at it was just a painful reminder, and I didn't like it, so I ended up throwing it away.
00:58:40Ooh, pick the prettiest one.
00:58:42The prettiest one?
00:58:43The prettiest one.
00:58:44Look at this chunky guy.
00:58:46Oh, I haven't really dealt with that fully yet, but I'm getting to the point where I realize I really need to talk about it,
00:58:52because it's getting to me, like, psychologically, mentally.
00:58:57And I don't—I want to be healthier mentally for my kids.
00:59:02Roger's death made me realize that life is very short.
00:59:06We're expecting.
00:59:19We got a little munchkin on the way.
00:59:23I'm excited because we're getting our girl a little nervous, too.
00:59:27I'm just glad that she's healthy.
00:59:30I'm excited to meet her when she finally gets here.
00:59:33Even if we have to really buckle down and budget, we're still able to do that.
00:59:38We find different ways to make ends meet.
00:59:41Johnny does different things.
00:59:42He used to work with his dad contracting.
00:59:44He's done day labor services.
00:59:46He's had other jobs that I do here, babysit, things of that sort.
00:59:51We make it work.
00:59:52We definitely make it work.
00:59:54Right now, times are hard.
00:59:56I'm still in school.
00:59:57I'm in the tech field.
00:59:59I'm going to be studying cloud design.
01:00:01We live off the Social Security benefits that we have.
01:00:05And I have WIC right now.
01:00:07And those are the only things that we have currently.
01:00:12The benefits that people receive, their taxpayers' dollars,
01:00:16it's not like we haven't worked ever.
01:00:18I've been working since I was in high school.
01:00:21I was in banking.
01:00:22Needless to say, I was paying taxes.
01:00:25That's what this is for.
01:00:27Everybody has a moment where they have to lean on someone,
01:00:31whether that's the government or their family.
01:00:34You never know when that could be you.
01:00:36We're gonna have nachos tonight, okay?
01:00:38And movie night before daddy leave.
01:00:40Can daddy please?
01:00:41Yeah, I know.
01:00:42I don't want daddy to leave either.
01:00:44So, don't be sad.
01:00:47Mommy, I'm duty sad.
01:00:49I know duty sad.
01:00:51Mommy's sad, too.
01:00:52Mommy, we can see my daddy go bye-bye.
01:00:55Yeah, your daddy's gonna go bye-bye.
01:00:57Just for a little bit, okay?
01:00:58Okay.
01:01:00I just got an invite to go play at an all-star bowl game.
01:01:06It's for collegiate guys that are trying to make that next jump
01:01:09to the next level.
01:01:10Just another way to, you know, put guys on the map
01:01:21and let guys, let coaches and organizations see that
01:01:25even though we come from smaller programs
01:01:27or whatever the case might be,
01:01:28we still have the ability to play at the next level.
01:01:33Men's life is about living.
01:01:35You only get one of them.
01:01:37of them.
01:01:49Oh, good!
01:01:50Good!
01:01:51Oh, stay right with us!
01:01:52Don't drop them!
01:01:53Get off!
01:01:54Nice job!
01:01:55Good work, man.
01:01:57What I wanted to gain out of this,
01:01:58for one, I came to have fun.
01:02:00Definitely gained some quality film that I could put on
01:02:03a highlight tape and somebody could be like wow,
01:02:05Wow, this big guy can run, move, he plays the ball well, all those things.
01:02:12Get hands on him right away.
01:02:15Oh, good punch, good punch.
01:02:17Oh, you're good, you're good.
01:02:18Oh, stay right, oh, there you go.
01:02:20Oh, nice job, man.
01:02:21Oh, my God.
01:02:22Oh, my God, I couldn't even see the ball, brother.
01:02:34Hello.
01:02:35Goodness, sir.
01:02:37Jair, Jair, where's your baby sister?
01:02:42That's right here.
01:02:44It's my baby sister.
01:02:46Oh, okay.
01:02:46You can't see.
01:02:49Right there.
01:02:51It says right there, it's a girl.
01:02:53Oh, blue.
01:03:10Blue, down.
01:03:12Unfortunately, I was fired due to an incident of a 911 call I took for an abandoned dog.
01:03:19It was around 30 degrees with wind chill, so it was pretty cold.
01:03:24Nothing, I could see that nothing was being done about it.
01:03:29So then after work, I went and to check on the dog, because, I mean, it was 33 degrees outside
01:03:34with wind chill.
01:03:35I mean, it was cold outside.
01:03:37They said, like, you're not allowed to respond to calls, but that dog was abandoned.
01:03:41It was cold outside.
01:03:42No one would leave a baby outside in the cold.
01:03:44If I said someone leave a dog, they fired me because I broke protocol for going to help
01:03:51the dog.
01:03:52I'm making it now, but job stability, losing that is scary.
01:03:58I have a savings.
01:04:00I'm not going to let my account get too low.
01:04:04I have a certain number, and if it gets to that number, then I'll just get a dead-end
01:04:08job.
01:04:09I want to move out of Iowa.
01:04:20I'm applying at jobs kind of around the Dallas area in Texas.
01:04:25It's a little bit more affordable there, housing is affordable.
01:04:28There's no state tax there.
01:04:31I've applied to 14 different places, and I believe three or four of them said no already.
01:04:42I wanted to get away from Iowa because it just feels like a dead-end road for me here,
01:04:47like there's nothing left.
01:04:49I plan on selling this house and then buying a house there.
01:04:54I can't really rent because I have two dogs and two cats, so it's pretty hard to find.
01:05:01I tried to build a life here, and I just can't.
01:05:08I'm very scared.
01:05:10So much can go wrong.
01:05:14I'm not going to expect me moving to a different state be a cure for everything I'm suffering
01:05:19here.
01:05:21Changing the cycle that you were born into is very hard because it's like your brain is
01:05:28trained that way.
01:05:29I mean, a lot of toxic behaviors I had to unlearn.
01:05:37It's a hard process.
01:05:38I'm still learning to this day.
01:05:40It's, you know, it's a long, lengthy process.
01:05:56Right now we are located in Jacksonville, Florida.
01:05:59I'm here visiting my parents.
01:06:01My father's a contractor.
01:06:03He got it back up and going over the last couple of years, and it's been extremely successful.
01:06:09It's raining, so you got some work to do, Johnny.
01:06:15My favorite co-workers.
01:06:19I would rather work for my parents than a random person.
01:06:22He's 10 times harder than a normal boss would be, but I'm cool with that, you know, that's
01:06:26your father.
01:06:29I would stay with my parents doing a draft training process to get ready for my pro day
01:06:33when my skills are officially tested.
01:06:40I have a good friend that is letting me borrow his car that is not in town.
01:06:46I wake up at 4.50, drive 30 minutes over to Jim Jack's.
01:06:52Drive, drive, drive, drive.
01:07:00So far I haven't made any money off of football, but I hope that in the future I will.
01:07:04It's the recruiting game all over again, but now it's just at the professional level.
01:07:09Somebody got to like what they see for them to give you a chance.
01:07:12Good, so, drop, good, boom, good, but you feel how you came up?
01:07:18Straight, straight out, there's no need to go up.
01:07:21Eventually this will turn over.
01:07:24You know, this will become a point in my life to where all this hard work that I'm putting
01:07:29in, it won't go in vain because, you know, that's just how this process goes.
01:07:35The more hard work and the more consistent you stay, you will see the results that you're
01:07:39looking for.
01:07:39Jacksonville, Florida is going to forever be like a spot.
01:07:50My other son, his burial plaque is there.
01:07:52I go see it on my own.
01:07:55In a sense, a part of my life, a part of me is in Jacksonville.
01:08:04Do I ever get tired of the struggle?
01:08:06Absolutely.
01:08:07And I feel like if you get another day to breathe and wake up and make something happen, you
01:08:11got to get off your butt and make it happen.
01:08:14My son didn't get a chance.
01:08:15I'd like to really see what was going on, but if he would have lived, he would have had
01:08:18this.
01:08:19He would have had a chance to be able to get up every day and fight for life.
01:08:22When I look at his brother, I just see how he would have been, you know, I feel like they
01:08:28would have just been two firecrackers, full of knowledge, learning, you know what I'm
01:08:34saying?
01:08:35We all must return back to the ground, right?
01:08:40One day.
01:08:41Yeah, we all got to return to the dirt, because I still have days where I feel like crying.
01:08:48If I don't, probably shed a tear on my own.
01:08:50But teardrop, I remind myself, be tough.
01:09:03Today is the last thing in my control, the Podium Bowl Pro Day event that's being hosted
01:09:09today.
01:09:14Teams look at the Pro Day results to see if they're going to give you a chance.
01:09:19I feel like 13-year-old self would be like, okay, this is what you've been, this is where
01:09:23everything came, come down to, you know what I'm saying?
01:09:26I need good results on a 40 today.
01:09:28It's the benchmark for, you know, all the scouts and the teams.
01:09:32I've done ran 40s over the last two months, maybe over 200 times.
01:09:39496-481.
01:09:44I'm getting real bad.
01:09:45Yeah.
01:09:464-8-1 is not a good time, so that wasn't good enough.
01:09:59I need it under a 4-6 at least for a team to be able to pay attention to me.
01:10:04That's crazy.
01:10:06That's crazy.
01:10:13That's too, too bad.
01:10:144-9.
01:10:15That's offensive alignment movements.
01:10:17And it's crazy, because in training, I never ran, like, the slowest I ever ran, 4-5.
01:10:22Man, that's major.
01:10:24I don't know what the hell's going to happen now.
01:10:28Run, we're going to stop, we're going to catch the ball.
01:10:35Let's go.
01:10:36You ready?
01:10:37Don't mess this up.
01:10:39Alright?
01:10:40Alright.
01:10:41Let's go.
01:10:42Set.
01:10:43Stop.
01:10:44Catch the ball.
01:10:45Catch the ball.
01:10:46There you go.
01:10:47There you go.
01:10:48Good job.
01:10:49Alright, come on.
01:10:50That's on.
01:10:51It's been especially difficult for Johnny because of his upbringing, with how he had
01:10:56to move around so much.
01:10:58So the fact that he still has that childlike passion is amazing.
01:11:02You got to keep going until I say stop.
01:11:04Come back.
01:11:05Come back.
01:11:06Set.
01:11:07Go.
01:11:08Stop.
01:11:09Yes, sir.
01:11:11Chasing my dream is not easy.
01:11:13Because I kind of had that feeling, like, damn, is this over?
01:11:16Is this...
01:11:18Did I...
01:11:19Is this how it ends?
01:11:21All this time and work, just to run a time that I know I'm not even close to running,
01:11:28and it ends like this?
01:11:30I felt like that.
01:11:31I did.
01:11:32But at the same time, I was like, no, that don't even make logical sense.
01:11:36Right?
01:11:37That's not how life works.
01:11:38It just keeps going.
01:11:39Right now, I'm surviving on my paycheck from McDonald's, the food pantry, and food stamps.
01:11:58It's hard to money manage when you're struggling.
01:12:01Thankfully, I got the food bank to help with that.
01:12:04Tilapia.
01:12:05Ooh, cinnamon.
01:12:06Yes.
01:12:07And we have ground beef.
01:12:09They definitely have very healthy things, and those are super expensive at supermarkets
01:12:16and stuff like that.
01:12:17Like, insanely expensive.
01:12:18Like, a thing of raspberries is $5.
01:12:20That's...
01:12:21That's a lot to me, because it adds up, you know?
01:12:23If I want to buy a bunch of stuff to make a fruit salad, it's going to cost me over $30.
01:12:28Unlimited.
01:12:29Ooh, look it!
01:12:30They got fruit and stuff in here.
01:12:33Yeah, that just arrived today, so it's pretty fresh.
01:12:38Nice!
01:12:39They had, like, fruit salad bowls ready, and they had kiwis, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries,
01:12:45orange slices.
01:12:46Like, they had all that stuff just jam-packed in a giant bowl, and we got it for free.
01:12:51You can pick one toy.
01:12:53Okay?
01:12:56Right now, it is pretty important that we get fruit from here, because I live at my cousin's
01:13:02house, and I only make $300 each paycheck, and I have to give my cousin basically my entire
01:13:11paycheck to make sure that we can pay for everything.
01:13:14I want to grab you some socks, too, because you run through socks like it's nobody's business.
01:13:19It just feels like I always end up in the same boat all the time, and it's sinking.
01:13:25I did it to myself.
01:13:27I dropped out of school.
01:13:28I went down a really bad path.
01:13:30I got pregnant, and then I just wasn't able to really do anything farther with my life,
01:13:39other than work and raise my children.
01:13:42My pajamas.
01:13:43Look at this.
01:13:45That's too small, baby.
01:13:48You wear a six.
01:13:49This is a three.
01:13:51Look at this.
01:13:53Losing my brother definitely knocked some stuff out of whack in my brain.
01:13:59I feel like I have a lot of anger held in towards that, and it definitely clouds my better judgment
01:14:06on the decisions that I make.
01:14:09So it is my fault that I'm in this situation, but it's also not from lack of trying.
01:14:19It's lack of ability, if that makes sense.
01:14:24It's just difficult.
01:14:31I'm just tired of the struggle.
01:14:36It's exhausting.
01:14:39It is really nice to be able to have salmon.
01:14:51I like it, but I don't really know how to prepare it.
01:14:54I just wish I would have made better choices in my life, and I wouldn't have fallen in my parents' footsteps.
01:15:00Because now my kids are going through the same stuff that I went through when I was little.
01:15:06And that tears me apart.
01:15:19Let me see.
01:15:20Alright, it's hot.
01:15:23I don't know who tricks to do.
01:15:27Smells good.
01:15:31If you don't like it, it's fine.
01:15:32I mean, it's not for everybody.
01:15:36Mom's never really made salmon before.
01:15:41Ooh, what is this?
01:15:42It's tartar sauce.
01:15:43It's tartar sauce.
01:15:44It's for fish.
01:15:47I kind of like it.
01:15:49It grows on you.
01:15:51Once you get in the hole, it's extremely hard to find your way out.
01:15:57And I got myself deep in that hole.
01:16:00And I feel like I'm just clawing, trying my hardest, grabbing sticks, grabbing trees,
01:16:05and grabbing tree roots and stuff, trying to find my way out.
01:16:08And everything's just slipping and breaking.
01:16:09And I just keep falling back in the pit.
01:16:12It's extremely hard to get out once you're in.
01:16:14I'm currently in Gainesville, Texas now.
01:16:15I am pregnant.
01:16:19It was a bit of a surprise.
01:16:20That is for sure.
01:16:21It was not the plan.
01:16:22But, you know, there's never a full plan in life.
01:16:26I'm currently in Gainesville, Texas now.
01:16:38I am pregnant.
01:16:41It was a bit of a surprise, that is for sure.
01:16:45It was not the plan, but, you know, there's never a full plan in life.
01:16:51You just kind of got to roll with it.
01:16:53I am five months.
01:16:56I'm having a girl.
01:16:58And then right there is her leg, her thigh, her knee.
01:17:02The baby's father, who I'm with, his family is amazing.
01:17:05Anytime I need help, you know, I just give him a call and they're there.
01:17:11Of course I worry about being a mom, because it's scary.
01:17:14Everything you do, you might repeat the cycle.
01:17:17Every hard decision affects the little life you created.
01:17:21It's like a mix of emotions.
01:17:26Like, of course I'm happy, I'm excited, you know.
01:17:29But also it's like, oh wow, I'm going to be a mom.
01:17:31I'm just glad that Kid Me had dreams, and I wanted to overachieve.
01:17:46No matter what situation I was put in, I still had those dreams.
01:17:50Because at the end of the day, it's easier to imagine a life out of your current situation
01:17:55than what you're really living in.
01:17:56Happy birthday to you.
01:18:16Happy birthday to you.
01:18:20Happy birthday dear Odin.
01:18:26Happy birthday to you.
01:18:30Blow him out.
01:18:33Good.
01:18:35Yay.
01:18:36Odin has just turned six.
01:18:40He started kindergarten, so he's very excited about that.
01:18:45Elena, she starts preschool.
01:18:47They're just super excited to go to school, to learn, to play with all the other kids.
01:18:51This way, baby.
01:18:52I'm trying to.
01:18:54The ground is too hot.
01:18:56That's why I told you to bring your Crocs, dude.
01:18:58Yeah, I feel like if I tried a lot harder in school, I would have my high school diploma.
01:19:03I would have a better shot at getting a good job.
01:19:05The last thing that I want is for my kids to worry about what we're going to have for dinner
01:19:09or worry about where we're going to stay.
01:19:11Yummy, yummy.
01:19:16Mom, little done.
01:19:18My dream came true.
01:19:20I would have my little pastry shop, little puff pastries.
01:19:24That's what it would be called, puffs pastries.
01:19:28It's my thing.
01:19:29I really like to make things look pretty.
01:19:30It's relaxing.
01:19:31It makes me feel good about myself because other people like what I've done for them, you know.
01:19:36It gives me the validation affirmation that I want, so.
01:19:45The chances of that happening probably aren't very high, but I'm going to stay positive about it
01:19:51and try my hardest.
01:19:58What?
01:20:02What?
01:20:02I just...
01:20:04Yes.
01:20:05Newest added member to the family is my daughter, J.L. Jocola Davis.
01:20:12She came here May 30th.
01:20:14Crazy, I got another one.
01:20:15Right around my birthday.
01:20:17I'm just blessed to have another healthy child.
01:20:19That's what I'm happy for.
01:20:20I'm happy I got a family.
01:20:21That's the only thing that's been, though.
01:20:25Yeah, true to be told, the only thing keeping me afloat for real, for real.
01:20:28Yeah, which one do you like, Judy?
01:20:31Um, hmm.
01:20:35How about that blue one?
01:20:37The blue one?
01:20:38That's your favorite color, huh?
01:20:39Being born poor, you can't start off rough.
01:20:41It can't be a difficult process because you've limited opportunities.
01:20:44But them opportunities will come.
01:20:48Catch that.
01:20:49Good catch, boy.
01:20:50Sometimes you get dealt a bad hand.
01:20:53I've been getting bad deck of cards all my life.
01:20:55You're going to sit there and cry about it, or you're going to play through it?
01:20:59Well, I'm just at home working a regular job, waiting for my opportunity.
01:21:03Is the dream over?
01:21:04Hell no.
01:21:05You know the dream ain't over, man.
01:21:06What kind of question is that?
01:21:08Come on, this is our last chance.
01:21:10Stop.
01:21:12There we go.
01:21:13Stay there.
01:21:13Stay there.
01:21:13Y'all going to see me at 40.
01:21:16If he's still filming this when I'm 45, 50, y'all going to see him like,
01:21:22he going to ask me that same question with some wrinkles in his voice
01:21:25because he going to be super old by then.
01:21:28And you're going to ask me the same question,
01:21:31and I'm going to tell you as an old man,
01:21:32nah, the dream ain't over.
01:21:34I can still get out there and run with them youngins.
01:21:36Watch.
01:21:38I ain't letting this go, man.
01:21:40It's just...
01:21:42My mama used to tell me, like, people...
01:21:44certain people was born to do certain things.
01:21:45You know what I'm saying?
01:21:47It's just what I was born to do.
01:21:51Go.
01:21:51That's what I'm talking about.
01:22:03That faith in that boy.
01:22:05See it?
01:22:07That's the new truth, man.
01:22:08Yeah.
01:22:10Yeah.
01:22:30Go to pbs.org slash frontline for more about poverty in America.
01:22:34In the mornings, we get up around 4.30,
01:22:38get there, we come straight back to go to school.
01:22:40I get ice mostly every day because it melts during...
01:22:43That was my favorite thing in the world, besides my family.
01:22:48And watch our earlier films on these families.
01:22:51Connect with Frontline on Facebook and Instagram
01:22:53and stream anytime on the PBS app, YouTube, or pbs.org slash frontline.
01:22:59For more on this and other films,
01:23:29visit our website at pbs.org slash frontline.
01:23:49Frontline's Born Poor is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:23:54Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:23:55Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:23:56Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:23:57Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:23:58Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:23:59Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:24:00Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:24:01Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:24:02Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:24:03Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:24:04Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:24:05Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:24:06Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:24:07Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:24:08Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:24:09Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
01:24:10Frontline is available on Amazon Prime Video.
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01:24:13Legenda por Sônia Ruberti
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