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BRITCOM III
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00:00The following program contains strong language.
00:10Tonight, we look back on an important time.
00:12The fall of the Berlin Wall, the miners' strike, the royal wedding,
00:16and in music, Madonna exploded onto the scene.
00:19Live Aid, MTV was born.
00:22It's easy to ridicule this era in history,
00:24but it was an important period in global culture.
00:27So, let's take time to pay homage to a decade that really mattered.
00:33Welcome to Never Mind the Buzzcocks Does the 80s.
00:39Did you hear the bug?
00:41Did you hear the bug?
00:57No!
01:11Welcome to Never Mind the Buzzcocks.
01:14Tonight, we're going back to the decades of Rubik's Cubes,
01:17Synth-pop, new romantics, big shoulder pads, big walkmans.
01:20But, great Scott, we don't have much time.
01:23I have one chance to go back to 1989 and woo the woman of my dreams.
01:27And then, and only then, will I fulfil my destiny.
01:30Finally, Jamali will have to call me Daddy.
01:35Joining Jamali on Noel's team.
01:38An 80s superstar who, at 17, became the youngest female artist
01:42to write, produce and perform a number-one hit.
01:45It's like we've lived parallel lives.
01:47When I was 17, I ate Monster Munch, I had a bike,
01:49and me and my mates climbed a well-big tree.
01:55It's Debbie Gibson!
02:01And on the other team tonight.
02:04Lead singer of 80s multi-platinum-selling ABC,
02:07whose hits include the iconic look of love.
02:10He taught me that when you're struggling to write the opening lyrics to a song,
02:13sometimes you just have to trust your gut, your instinct.
02:16Sometimes you just have to...
02:18Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
02:21It's Martin Pryde!
02:28And on their team tonight,
02:30a brilliant stand-up comedian, actor and presenter.
02:34That's the look, that's the look.
02:36It's duty love!
02:45And now, ladies and gentlemen,
02:46for the funniest introduction we've ever written.
02:48Strap yourselves in.
02:50This is going to be massive.
02:52Our guest team captains,
02:54an iconic 80s duo,
02:56members of the mighty Wham,
02:57who are impossible to forget,
02:59because one named herself after her favourite drink.
03:03And if you can remember Pepsi,
03:05then surely you can remember the other one.
03:07MUSIC PLAYS
03:10MUSIC PLAYS
03:19Welcome to the show, everyone.
03:20Welcome!
03:21APPLAUSE
03:22Pepsi and Shirley, guest captains.
03:26Do you think you've got it in you
03:27to be an effective captaincy team?
03:29Absolutely.
03:30We're going to do our best.
03:31More than our best.
03:32We are going to rule, we're going to win,
03:33we're going to... we're going to do it.
03:35That's really uncompensely.
03:38Yeah, we'll cheat if need be.
03:40I'm naturally bossy.
03:42I am instinctively quite scared of you, actually.
03:44LAUGHTER
03:45I'm going to go straight in
03:47and talk about some Pepsi and Shirley and Wham gossip.
03:50Go on, men.
03:50I want you to tell me if this gossip is, um...
03:53..lovely.
03:54Oh!
03:55CHEERING
03:56Oh, God, it's going to be a long night.
03:58Look at that.
04:00Wham were the first Western pop acts
04:02to ever perform in China.
04:05True.
04:06True.
04:09Wham were competing with Queen for that honour
04:11and Wham's manager decided that he was going to throw Queen
04:14under the bus.
04:16And what he did was he contacted the Chinese authorities
04:19and sent a brochure of Freddie Mercury looking effeminate.
04:24The Chinese authorities were fine with this, were they?
04:26Yeah.
04:30I remember the last Christmas video, as everyone does,
04:33and I remember thinking,
04:34what a wholesome, wonderful time that you were all having.
04:38Can you tell me which of these are true?
04:40During the filming of that video,
04:41someone puked into the filter of the pool at the ski lodge.
04:43True.
04:44True.
04:45LAUGHTER
04:46One of the extras in that video kept farting in the ski lift.
04:51I had to blame someone.
04:52LAUGHTER
04:53LAUGHTER
04:54APPLAUSE
04:55That's an early exclusive, isn't it?
05:04LAUGHTER
05:05Martin, welcome to the show.
05:07It's Martin Frey, everyone.
05:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
05:10Martin, what is the look of love?
05:12After 40 years,
05:13that's a very philosophical question, isn't it?
05:14Is this the look of love, Martin?
05:16Where's the look of love, yeah?
05:17There's the look of love, yeah.
05:18There's the look of love.
05:19Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:20How old were you there, Martin?
05:21Cos I've got a theory that you've always been 40.
05:23That's true.
05:24Yeah, yeah.
05:25It's served me well now I'm 67, you see, but...
05:27ABC were cool.
05:29All the songs were so cool and you looked so cool.
05:31Do you think all of the lyrics were cool?
05:33Oh, God.
05:34Here it goes.
05:35Do you have any lyric in mind?
05:36Yeah.
05:37Oh, God.
05:38Oh, God.
05:39Oh, God.
05:40Here it goes.
05:41Oh, God.
05:42Do you have any lyric in mind?
05:43Yeah, he has.
05:44He doesn't look.
05:45He can't wait.
05:46Well, have a look for yourself.
05:48Oh, yeah.
05:50Don't complain, mustn't crumble yourself
05:54to another piece of apple cream.
05:57Yeah, thank you.
06:00Very creative.
06:04I've never eaten apple crumble since 1983.
06:10Debbie Gibson's here!
06:13Thank you!
06:14Everybody I know who's got the surname Gibson in this country
06:22gets called Gibbo.
06:23Can I call you Gibbo?
06:24You may.
06:25Gibbo!
06:26LAUGHTER
06:28Who on the panel used to have posters of Debbie Gibson
06:32on their wall at a formative age?
06:35I think it's Noel.
06:36You.
06:37It is Noel.
06:38Noel, yeah.
06:39Yay!
06:40Noel Fielding.
06:41Good boy.
06:42Thank you, Noel.
06:43APPLAUSE
06:48Let's have a look at Debbie in the 80s.
06:49Let's see what was on Noel's wall.
06:51Aw!
06:52Aw!
06:53Weird that you had, like, a normal bedroom with posters.
06:55I feel like you'd be in, like, a bat cave.
06:57LAUGHTER
06:58Just hanging upside down.
07:00When I say wall, I mean the lid of my coffin.
07:03LAUGHTER
07:05Tell me why Foolish Beat was such a big song for you.
07:09So, that put me in the Guinness Book of World Records
07:12for being the youngest artist to write and produce a number one.
07:15Wow!
07:16Good to see you.
07:17A number one.
07:18Good to see you.
07:19LAUGHTER
07:20APPLAUSE
07:23Get this.
07:25Debbie is still the youngest female artist.
07:27She still holds that record now.
07:29Wow.
07:30And she was 17 years of age.
07:31You want to know what I was doing at 17, Debbie?
07:33I don't know if I do, but...
07:35I was having sex with this bear.
07:37Yeah!
07:38That's what I was doing.
07:39Ooh!
07:41APPLAUSE
07:45And I'm not going to read the next question on autocue.
07:47Oh, no, I will.
07:48I will read it, actually,
07:49because someone took the time to script this.
07:51Have you ever had sex with a bear, Gibbo?
07:53Like, seriously?
07:55OK.
07:56Ooh!
07:57Debbie Gibson, welcome.
07:59Welcome.
08:01APPLAUSE
08:04Judy Love.
08:05When I think of the 80s, I think...
08:07What's love got to do?
08:09Got to do.
08:10Yes, sir.
08:12Tell me about you and the 80s.
08:14It's really hard for me,
08:15because I feel like I'm one of the younger ones on the panel.
08:17You are?
08:18Because I know you were only born in 1980.
08:20Yeah, I was still on breast milk.
08:21It was simple.
08:22Do you know what I mean?
08:23They were simple times.
08:24They were simple times.
08:25They were simple times.
08:26You know what we used to do?
08:27We used to climb up really big fir trees.
08:28Right.
08:29And sniff poppers.
08:30Good times.
08:31LAUGHTER
08:32Judy, you're always welcome.
08:35Good.
08:36OK.
08:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
08:39Let's crack on with the show.
08:40The first question is for Noel's team.
08:42Take a look at this.
08:43I was looking for a job
08:45And then I found a job
08:47And heaven knows I'm miserable now
08:52They got the beat, they got the beat
08:55Yeah, they got the beat
08:57Yeah, they got the beat
09:01Yo, yo
09:02Always believe in your soul
09:06You've got the power to know
09:08You're invisible
09:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
09:16That was sexually frustrated, topless granddad,
09:20Morrissey and the Smiths,
09:21Belinda Carlyle and three other women,
09:23the Go-Go's
09:24And new romantic fuckboys, Bando Ballet
09:28Sorry Shirley
09:32Noel's team
09:33Can you tell me which of these 80s legends
09:35Had an unprofessional run in with their tour manager?
09:38Was it A
09:39After watching a documentary about Guns N' Roses
09:41The Smiths thought they should act more rock and roll
09:43They initially planned to strip their tour manager naked
09:46And throw him into a skip
09:47But they didn't have the heart
09:48So they ended up just putting grapes in his socks
09:52Or was it B
09:53The Go-Go's were recording an album in Reading
09:56When they got bored
09:57And decided to go out into the woods
09:58And take pictures of each other naked
10:00Belinda Carlyle said
10:01I suggested we take pictures of our most intimate parts
10:05And then we slipped them under the tour manager's door
10:08And said
10:09Guess who?
10:11Was it C
10:12While touring Hamburg
10:13Spandau Ballet
10:14Got their tour manager paralytically drunk
10:16Dressed him in a sexy leg cliche
10:18Placed him in a prostitute's window
10:20With a sign saying
10:21Which roughly translates as
10:25Welcome to the super bitch
10:27There you go
10:29Noel's team
10:30One of those is true
10:31The B
10:32The Go-Go's were recording an album
10:33And then they took pictures of their intimate parts
10:36And then what were they taking?
10:37Pictures
10:38Polaroids
10:39Like what were they doing?
10:40Yeah that's what I mean
10:41They had to go to the chemist right?
10:42Right
10:43And had to be like
10:44Jeez
10:45You know what was that?
10:46Right
10:47Good job for them
10:48Right
10:49And then their pictures came out with stickers
10:51Over their private parts
10:53To peel them off
10:54And then slip them on
10:55That would take too long
10:56And to be honest
10:57If you were taking pictures of your private parts
10:59It was quite good to have them developed in a chemist
11:01Because if there was a problem
11:06A one stop
11:12Aren't you friends with Belinda Carlyle?
11:13Yeah I mean I know her a bit
11:14Like I think that you know
11:15They were like
11:16Would you beg to recognise the pictures?
11:17They were rebellious at the time
11:22Hey why don't we talk about the Smiths for a while
11:24Here's some actual quotes from Morrissey
11:27It'd be worth being dead
11:28Just to get away from Victoria Beckham
11:30Oh he didn't say that
11:32No
11:33No he didn't say that
11:34Oh my god
11:35He did say that
11:36He said all of these
11:37He probably did
11:38Wow
11:39This is fascinating
11:40So many footballers are paid £200,000 a week
11:42And yet they couldn't identify a heart
11:46But the absolute prince of Morrissey quotes is this
11:49No
11:50Jamie Oliver should be gassed by Princess Anne
11:52Wow
11:55I don't think they've got even rudimentary gassing facilities at Buckingham Palace
11:58Oh
12:00Should we get on to Spandau Ballet?
12:02You know Shirley's married to one of Spandau Ballet
12:03They didn't know
12:05I just found out
12:06Jamali didn't know
12:08Nick Beggs from Kachagugu
12:09When he saw your husband scooping half of his breakfast
12:13Onto one small side plate
12:14And then covering it with a newspaper
12:17He leant over to Martin and asked him what he was up to
12:19He said
12:20Well Nick
12:21I really enjoy my food
12:22And it always seems to go so quickly
12:24I always think to myself
12:25That was great
12:26I could eat that lot again
12:27And then when I look under this newspaper
12:29I find the rest
12:31And I think
12:32Wow great
12:34I've still got all this to eat
12:40That's brilliant
12:41I mean
12:42I question whether Shirley's his wife or his carer after that one
12:47You had some interesting pictures taken back in the 80s, didn't you?
12:50Oh
12:51You know what?
12:52That was in Covent Garden
12:53Oh God that's lovely
12:54Is that the brother from EastEnders?
12:55Yeah
12:56Yeah
12:58Yeah man
12:59There we go
13:01Ta da
13:02He was on the show
13:03Oh Bob your husband's sick one
13:05That's my boy man
13:06Yeah he's lovely
13:07Tell him I said what's up
13:10Let's briefly talk about Belinda Carlisle and the Go-Go's
13:12Here they are in the 80s
13:14They look like a variety pack of cereal
13:17They look lovely
13:18Belinda Carlisle
13:20She had a 30 year long cocaine addiction
13:22And she said she can't believe she's not dead
13:24One morning she woke up after a binge
13:26And forgot she bought what?
13:28Do you think?
13:29I'll just tell you a race horse
13:30Something like that
13:33Greg I did so many drugs once at a party
13:35That the next day someone knocked on the door
13:37And I bought two stone baboons
13:44For six grand
13:45I was like what the fuck am I going to do with that?
13:51How much?
13:53Six grand
13:54Six grand
13:55What have you done with them?
13:56They look quite good
13:57They're in my house
14:01I have no recollection of buying them
14:03Oh my God
14:04Right Nelsine what do you think?
14:05Is it the Smiths
14:06Great
14:07The Go-Go's nude pics
14:08Or spanto ballet super bitch
14:10B with a Polaroid camera
14:11Or A
14:12I love the idea of Morrissey putting grapes in people's socks
14:15But he's more vicious than that
14:17So I feel like I want the Go-Go's
14:19Now I hear about the Go-Go's and their rock and roll
14:21I feel like it's something they would have done
14:22B the Go-Go's taking pictures of their special areas
14:26You are right
14:31Yes the Go-Go's took pictures of their fannies
14:33And slipped them under their tour manager's door
14:36To see if he could guess who was who
14:38Belinda Carlisle said
14:39He was completely mortified
14:41We had a way of freaking out tour managers
14:43Many of them quit
14:44But he stayed with us for years
14:45I bet he did Belinda
14:47Well done Nels team
14:48A point to you
14:49All right
14:54The next question is for Pepsi and Shirley's team
14:57Take a look at this
14:58Looks like they'll try again
15:03Wild boys
15:05Never losing
15:07Like a virgin
15:09Hey
15:10Touched for the very first time
15:14Like a virgin
15:18But I still haven't found
15:23What I don't know
15:28Good music!
15:30It was good music!
15:32That was a man you just know has got suntan testicles
15:36Simon Le Bon
15:37Retired Romanian power lifter Madonna
15:39Oh!
15:41And the band that sounds like an owl telling you off
15:45You two!
15:46Can you tell me which of these 80s legends had an unusual ritual before appearances?
15:53Was it?
15:54A
15:55Simon Le Bon revealed that before he has his photo taken he has a strange belief
16:00He said
16:01If I think about naked ladies then my pupils dilate which always looks better in shots
16:06I know what you mean Simon
16:08Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
16:13Or was it B
16:14Madonna would sneak food based puns into her songs including crazy for soup and hollandaise
16:21And hollandaise
16:22Her management discovered that during a gig at the hollywood bowl in 1989 when she changed the lyrics to like a prayer
16:28From life is a mystery everyone must stand alone to life is a kedgerie everyone likes jam and scone
16:34Or was it C
16:36Before photo shoots you two would each down a pint of hot orange juice to speed up the process
16:42The edge said it's amazing how much quicker you can get through a photo shoot when everyone's about to shit themselves
16:48Oh my goodness
16:50So
16:52A, B or C
16:54That's tricky isn't it?
16:55I'm going to go for A
16:58A
16:59No, no, no
17:00How does it hurt?
17:01I'm sorry ladies that's not how this works we don't just pick A and move on
17:04Why?
17:05There was no banter in the 80s
17:09I want to get the job done
17:11The show will be over in two minutes
17:13You've got to discuss it with your team
17:15One of those is true
17:17Debbie can I ask you a question?
17:19Do you know what kedgerie is?
17:21I don't
17:22There you go
17:23Madonna wouldn't have known
17:24Good detective work
17:26Americans wouldn't have eaten scones
17:28That's an English thing
17:29No
17:30Oh my god
17:31I mean
17:32We've never had people actually play the game before
17:36Greg do you know what was really sweet when that when you were showing the clips
17:39Jamali because he wasn't born in the 80s
17:41This is like the sort of Tudor times for him
17:45He was just going to me
17:46Is that Madonna?
17:47No
17:48When you two come and he went
17:50Is that Bono?
17:51Like he was going is that Henry the 8th?
17:53Is that Anne Boleyn?
17:54Damn I thought I was edging to be
17:58Oh no I thought he was near my age
18:00No, no
18:01Alright you don't have to say
18:02Oh no
18:04Judy I love you I'm sorry
18:08Wow
18:09Which one are you drawn to Judy?
18:11I love the idea of drinking the hot orange juice
18:14But what was the purpose of that?
18:16To shit up the whole place
18:17Here's a fact about Le Bon
18:21After Duran Duran's performance at Live Maid
18:23Simon Le Bon went to a party at Mick Jagger's house
18:26Where Keith Richards walked in
18:28Wearing the same scarf as him
18:30Delighted to have something in common with his idol
18:32Le Bon shouted
18:33Keith!
18:34Keith look!
18:35We're wearing the same scarf!
18:36To which Keith said
18:37That's good enough reason to leave
18:39From walked out
18:40Well
18:44I'll tell you an interesting fact about Madonna
18:46Yeah
18:47When she was married to Guy Ritchie
18:49She banned him from something
18:51Want to have a guess?
18:52There was?
18:53Oh
18:54I have no idea
18:55She banned him from eating chipolatas
18:59Topical the island breeze
19:01All of nature wild and free
19:03I am going to make your tea
19:05But no chipolatas
19:07All righty then
19:12So could it be you two?
19:17You two almost split up in the 80s
19:18Because Bono and the Edge believed that God had told them
19:21That the Edge had to leave the band
19:23I've just realised something
19:24Yeah?
19:25Is that how long you two's been going for?
19:26Yeah
19:27From the 80s?
19:28Yeah
19:29You're learning something Judy
19:30Damn!
19:31It's like going to a museum
19:32Yeah
19:33I think I'm going to lock this in now
19:37What do you think?
19:38A
19:39The first thing we said at the start
19:40A
19:41Yeah, all right, you're right
19:42Yay!
19:43Well done guys
19:46Well done guys
19:47Well done guys
19:48Well done guys
19:49Well done
19:50Well done
19:51It is A
19:52Simon Levan says he thinks about naked ladies before he has a photo taken to make his pupils dilate
19:58Bloody hell Simon
19:59Just get a bottle of poppers if you want to dilate
20:01Let's dilate mate
20:02Well done Pepsi and Shirley's team
20:03Well done
20:04Well done Pepsi and Shirley's team
20:05Well done
20:06Well done
20:07Well done Pepsi and Shirley's team
20:08Well done
20:09Well done
20:10I don't know how we're going to go to a break in this 80s special
20:15What?
20:16Lionel Richie's fallen into a boat
20:18Yep, I'll take it
20:19See you in a bit
20:20See you in a bit
20:35Welcome back to Never Mind the Buzzcocks, we're in the 80s
20:38Congratulations Charles and Diana
20:40I just know you're going to have a great life together
20:44No you didn't
20:46You did
20:47Next up it's the intros round
20:48Tonight we have an 80s twist
20:50If you think you need extra help tonight
20:52You can play a joker
20:54That means you can have another 80s legend come on
20:57And help you with the intros round
20:59They're waiting in the wings for you
21:00But if you do play your joker
21:02You lose a point from your overall scores
21:04Jamali and Debbie
21:06On your feet please
21:07You're going to be performing the intros of songs to Noel
21:10Before we do I must ask the team captain
21:12Do you want to play your joker?
21:14Err
21:15Yeah sure, why not?
21:16We're going to take a point off
21:17Let's hope the joker adds
21:18It's another 80s legend
21:20Please reveal yourself
21:21It's a mystery
21:23Ladies and gentlemen
21:24Toya Walters
21:25Yay
21:26Hello
21:27Hello
21:28Hello
21:29How are you?
21:30Hi
21:31Welcome
21:32Welcome Toya
21:33Thank you
21:34Have you been practicing?
21:35I've been practicing for hours
21:37Here we go
21:38Hang on a sec Greg
21:39Let me just take a sip of my hot orange juice
21:40Take it away
21:41You're welcome
21:42You're welcome
21:43Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun
22:13Da-da-da.
22:15Okay, I'm gonna have to push it all.
22:17Is it? Shoot that poison arrow.
22:19It is not. I can pass it over.
22:21Shirley. Billie Jean.
22:23No. Incorrect!
22:24You're both wrong, I'm afraid.
22:26I thought it was all tears from me.
22:28It was never gonna give you up by Rick Astley.
22:30Here's how it should have served in.
22:31Oh, God!
22:35Do we get a point?
22:36Yeah, that's it.
22:41We never remember there,
22:43Oh!
22:44Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop!
22:47It was the bass line.
22:49I absolutely love Toya, Jamali's my boy,
22:51you were my first crush, but that was bullshit.
22:53LAUGHTER
22:59But I don't think...
23:01I think the main thing is that Rick Astley's
23:03light 80s pop classic didn't have this bass line in it.
23:06Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop!
23:07Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop!
23:09Ah!
23:11Jamali, you're a fan of that song, aren't you?
23:12Am I?
23:13LAUGHTER
23:14That's what they told me.
23:15Have you ever heard it?
23:16Oh, yes, it's all right.
23:17Someone told me in an interview,
23:19you said you love that song,
23:20we like to keep it quiet.
23:21I never said that.
23:22OK.
23:23LAUGHTER
23:24Fuck that song.
23:25OK.
23:26I hate that song.
23:28OK.
23:29Next song.
23:30Noel's team, off you go.
23:31Boom, tss.
23:32Boom, tss.
23:33Boom, tss.
23:34Boom, tss.
23:35Boom, tss.
23:36Boom, tss.
23:37Boom, tss.
23:38Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
23:39Boom, tss.
23:40Boom, tss.
23:41Boom, tss.
23:42Boom, tss.
23:43Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
23:44Tss.
23:45Ga-da-da-da-da-da.
23:46Da-da-da-da na na na na.
23:47Da-da-da-da na na na na.
23:48Tss.
23:49Boom, tss.
23:50Boom, tss.
23:51Oh, it was me again.
23:52Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
23:54So good, Noel,
23:55come on.
23:56What is it?
23:57Come on, man.
23:58CHEERING
24:00Did he get it?
24:02Oh, did he get it?
24:03What was it?
24:04What was it?
24:05He hasn't got it.
24:06Say any song, Noel. I'm going to pass it over.
24:08Say the chorus. Has he got it?
24:09No, he hasn't. We're ready to take over.
24:11We're ready to take over.
24:12Still, motherfucker, still.
24:14We're ready to pounce.
24:15What is the title of that song, this team?
24:17Is it Need You Tonight?
24:18It is Need You Tonight!
24:23It was Need You Tonight by In Excess.
24:25Here's how it should have sang.
24:27That was very good.
24:29That was dead on, the beat.
24:31Oh, my God, you look so good!
24:34Oh, it's going to pass it.
24:36Hey!
24:45Hello, Michael, what's going on?
24:46I'm lonely.
24:47All right, what do you think?
24:49Can't think it all.
24:50Okay.
24:51I'm lonely.
24:52He's lonely.
24:58Bad luck.
24:59You guessed none correct.
25:01Oh, no!
25:03Thank you, Michael.
25:04Ladies and gentlemen, Toya Wilkins!
25:06Yes!
25:07There we are!
25:08There we are!
25:09There we are!
25:10Good day, good day, good day.
25:16It's over to Patsy and Shirley's team,
25:18but before we do that, I would just like to show you
25:21a newspaper headline, Jamali.
25:23Have a look.
25:24Oh, thank you.
25:25Fair enough.
25:26That is very fair.
25:27The comedian on his secret love for Rick Astley.
25:39All right, Pepsi and Shirley and Martin, it's your turn to perform to Judy.
25:43On your feet, please.
25:44Hey!
25:45And remember, Judy, if you need help, we've got an 80s legend waiting in the wings.
25:50Can I change the rules?
25:52Yeah, let's change the rules.
25:53Can I have?
25:54You certainly can't change the rules, Judy love.
25:56Can I have the guest and the guest sits and helps me?
26:00No.
26:01No, because, Judy, the guest has been told what the songs are.
26:10He's in our band.
26:12Pepsi and Shirley are the captains, and I want to ask you,
26:14would you like to play your joker?
26:16Yes, please.
26:17Oh, thank God, because the walk on music alone
26:20is going to make me lose my mind.
26:22Pepsi and Shirley, you've asked for help from one of the 80s legends.
26:26Please reveal yourself.
26:28Oh, you got a filthy baby.
26:30Oh, yeah, yeah.
26:31Oh, yeah, yeah.
26:32Oh, yeah, yeah.
26:33Oh, yeah, yeah.
26:34Oh, you got a filthy baby.
26:35It's Rocheford.
26:36Oh, yeah, yeah.
26:37Oh, yeah, yeah.
26:38It's a little bit more.
26:40Oh, yeah, yeah.
26:41Oh, yeah, yeah.
26:42Oh, yeah, yeah.
26:43There it is.
26:44Rochefords, you've been practicing?
26:45No.
26:46We're relying on him.
26:47No, I'm natural, because I'm a natural.
26:48You're just natural.
26:49We want to have another listen.
26:51Do you know what, Shirley?
26:52Yeah?
26:53You can do that, because I'm frightened of you.
26:55Good.
26:56Good.
26:57good okay listen i'm not listen guys i'm not going to get this
27:06you're not going to get any of them oh i see what's going on here
27:21we're ready ready commence okay song one take it away sit down judy please
27:27can we give her a clue no you may not no they can't because i will dive on them like a puma
27:57that was a very short is it is it is it a male singer no no you're not allowed
28:02clues what i'm saying is it's a male singer with a group there's a group and sometimes it's a girls
28:08girls in the group and there's no males in the group it's just girls it's girls two
28:14one two three three girls judy what was the title of the song judy love
28:19dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun
28:26i'm passing it over baby you've got it like my fire
28:30business
28:46It was Bananarama with Venus, here's how it should have sounded.
28:52Oh, my God, I had Bananarama on my lips!
29:02You look so good, I'm sorry.
29:04I'm kidding.
29:05And I had Bananarama, you know, mate.
29:07Bananarama had another hit with Cruel Summer,
29:10where they complained about the city being crowded
29:12and their friends being away, and they're on their own.
29:15I think that's a cruel summer.
29:16You should have been in Shropshire in 1986 when I forgot to feed my guinea pigs,
29:19and one ate the other.
29:20Naughty Pepsi, surely didn't deserve that.
29:31Next one, please.
29:32OK.
29:33We need to listen.
29:34We need to hear it.
29:35We need to...
29:36Let's do our thing for you.
29:37Reminder.
29:38This was an international huge hit.
29:41If you don't get this one, I think it's going to finish you.
29:45We need to do.
29:46We need to do.
29:47Oh, come on, Judy.
29:48The whole crew is over, I think.
29:49Channel it.
29:50I know.
29:51Channel it, Judy.
29:52How many wow?
29:53Take it away.
29:54Let's go.
29:55Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow
30:25BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM
30:28Just stop for a second.
30:30I don't want to give you clues, but I don't remember in the song the big.
30:34Oh! I don't agree with the voice!
30:36It's the remix!
30:38That's just for encouragement.
30:39This is bringing that in great nostalgia.
30:41This is bringing something as.
30:43Is it?
30:44I feel like it's a theme song to something.
30:46Oh! It might be.
30:48Let's hear it again.
30:49He' does it. One more time, one more time.
30:50It goes...
30:51WOW!
30:52WOW!
30:53WOW!
30:54WOW!
30:55Wow, wow, wow, wow.
31:06It's good, good.
31:15That's up.
31:16Judy, this is your moment.
31:18I haven't got nothing left.
31:19There's nothing left in the tank.
31:22Say any song.
31:23Fuck it.
31:24It was Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr.
31:49Here's how it should have sounded.
31:54Oh, my days.
32:05That was...
32:06Hang on.
32:07That was...
32:08No, it's our moment.
32:10Take it.
32:12I'll get...
32:14Take it.
32:16I've got this one.
32:18You're going to take this.
32:20.
32:29Can you go to the car?
32:31Yeah.
32:32Yeah.
32:33Wonderful.
32:34Love it.
32:36Really good.
32:37You proud yourself?
32:39Do you feel good?
32:40OK, well, just before you get too excited,
32:44we've got a video to show you.
32:45Oh, God.
32:47Play the video in, please.
32:48Tell me, just tell me, sorry, real cheek, just tell me.
32:50Ghostbusters.
32:51OK, yeah.
32:51What?
32:59What is going on?
33:00I feel slightly faint.
33:01Can you just be quiet?
33:02I just want to hear it really crystal clear.
33:04I don't know what's going on.
33:06Tell me, just tell me, sorry, real cheek, just tell me.
33:08Ghostbusters.
33:09OK, yeah.
33:10I missed it.
33:12I missed it.
33:13I missed it.
33:14I missed it.
33:15My God, it's one of the biggest candles I've ever.
33:20I've never seen anything like this.
33:22I'm just going to finish all of you.
33:24So, Greg, you let me all do that, all that performance.
33:28Are you getting, oh.
33:29I've got a clap and an extra light.
33:32A standing ovation, right?
33:34Yes.
33:35Turn the camera around.
33:36Look at him.
33:37Look at him.
33:38Look at him.
33:39Look at him.
33:40Look at him.
33:41Yes.
33:42And you want to steal that?
33:43You've just got a standing ovation from an audience for blatantly cheating.
33:57This is like Trump's America.
33:58This is what I'm saying.
33:59It's like work.
34:00And I'm doing it for the people.
34:04You're a dangerous woman.
34:05You know that.
34:06You're a dangerous woman.
34:07I've been told on many Friday nights.
34:08That was Ray Parker Jr. with Ghostbusters, which includes the line, if there's something strange
34:21in your neighbourhood, who are you going to call?
34:23Judy Love.
34:24I'm kidding.
34:25It's going to be Judy Love.
34:27Of course.
34:28Of course.
34:29That's fine.
34:30Please give her a huge round of applause for Rochefort.
34:34I'm being told if you want to keep Rochefort for the rest of the show, you can.
34:43Why not?
34:44Why not?
34:45We'll get a chair.
34:46Shall we bring Toya back as well?
34:47Let's have Toya back.
34:48Why not?
34:49At the end of that round, Pepsi and Shirley's team have one point, but Noel's team have two
35:02points because we gave them the points that you cheated on.
35:09Don't start that shit.
35:10You was behind me.
35:11I don't know how we're going to go to another break.
35:17This is an 80s special.
35:18PHONE RINGS
35:20Oh.
35:21Yes.
35:22Right.
35:23OK.
35:24You've got a picture of Debbie Gibson with two phones.
35:25Yep.
35:26I'll take it.
35:27We'll see you in a minute.
35:28APPLAUSE
35:29Welcome back to Never Mind the Buzzcocks.
35:43We're in the 80s, so congratulations to Prince Andrew for your brave service in the Falklands.
35:49I just know you're always going to be a national hero.
35:56Our next round is called ID Parade, where our panel must identify an 80s pop star.
36:01Noel's team, you're up first.
36:03For the audience at home, take a look at this.
36:05Going on up to the spirit in the sky.
36:09In the sky.
36:10That's where I'm going to go when I die.
36:13When I die.
36:14When I die.
36:15And they lay me to rest.
36:17I'm going to go to the place that's the day.
36:25That was Spirit in the Sky by Doctor and the Medics.
36:28But Noel's team, what I want to know is which of our line-up is the lead singer Clive Jackson,
36:33a.k.a. the doctor from the band.
36:36Is it?
36:37Number one.
36:38Spirit in the sky.
36:39Number two.
36:40I am Gandalf and you shall not come by.
36:45Number three.
36:46When I bend over, you'll see my third eye.
36:49Number four.
36:50In Civil War re-enactments, I always die.
36:54Number five.
36:55Why am I here?
36:56I'm a shepherd.
36:57Who is Clive Jackson from Doctor and the Medics?
37:09We've got the Charles Manson Quartet.
37:13Number four looks like me if I get stranded on a desert island for ten years.
37:21Number three is Jesus if we turn water into piss.
37:24Nairobi
37:34Taoya, are you drawn to anyone in particular?
37:40I am.
37:41Who?
37:42The one I know, personally.
37:44No, personally.
37:46Oh!
37:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:52Now...
37:56I've just come back from Dubai with him.
37:58Oh, that's...
38:00That's not fair.
38:02That's not fair.
38:04So, I'm keeping shtum.
38:06Number one looks like when you and your brother
38:08try and get in the cinema for free when you're 13.
38:11LAUGHTER
38:13You think it's two people on top of each other?
38:15Your dad's trench coat.
38:17LAUGHTER
38:18Oh, my God.
38:19I imagine you want some incredible clues.
38:22Yeah.
38:23Please, help, anything.
38:25Clive used to own his own snail farm.
38:27LAUGHTER
38:29That could be... That could literally be any one of them.
38:32That does not know it down.
38:34This is literally a herd of snail farmers, isn't it?
38:36Yeah.
38:37People thought that Clive painted his face white
38:40in the Spirit in the Sky video,
38:42but, in fact, he's just pale.
38:44LAUGHTER
38:46I was originally drawn to Five, right?
38:48He's just got a little bit of a rock and roll attitude,
38:51the way he's standing.
38:52Yeah.
38:53He just kind of doesn't care.
38:54I love number three in them glasses.
38:55That's so fucking mental.
38:56They put you in them glasses.
38:57The star glasses.
38:58That's so mad.
39:00Number three looks like Eric Cantanoff.
39:03His wife went out and he dressed up in all her clothes.
39:06LAUGHTER
39:11Number two looks like the other member of ZZ Top, ZZ Rock Bottom.
39:16LAUGHTER
39:17Oh, my God!
39:19LAUGHTER
39:20I'm having a laugh.
39:21All right, I'm going to have to push you for an answer.
39:24Well, I'm just getting strong vibes off number one.
39:28Yeah.
39:29Number one's cool.
39:30They're all pretty cool.
39:31I mean...
39:32Oh, great.
39:33If I look like that when I'm...
39:34In five years...
39:35In three months' time...
39:36LAUGHTER
39:37You'll be happy.
39:38In a week's time...
39:39In an hour.
39:40If I look like that in an hour,
39:41I'll be fucking dreaming.
39:42Let's find out if you're right with the real Clive.
39:45Please, step forward.
39:49Eh...
39:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:55What a team.
39:57It's a reunion.
40:00Clive, thank you for joining us.
40:02What are you up to these days?
40:03Well, I'm glad to say that Doctor and the Medics
40:05are still very much alive and kicking.
40:07However, we have been working on that tricky fifth album
40:10for 20 years.
40:12And I'm kidding you not.
40:13But kids, I'm pleased to announce
40:15that The Ultimate Mystic will be released
40:18sometime this decade.
40:20They're back!
40:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:23Ladies and gentlemen,
40:24let's hear it for our guests
40:25and for Clive!
40:28The Doctor!
40:35Pepsi and Shirley's team, here's your line-up.
40:37For the audience at home, take a look at this.
40:40I eat cannibals!
40:42I eat cannibals!
40:43Eat not animals!
40:45Your love is so edible!
40:47To me!
40:48I eat cannibals!
40:49APPLAUSE
40:50Eat cannibals?
40:51That was...
40:52I eat cannibals!
40:53by Toto Coelho!
40:54But can you tell me which of our line-up is singer Anita from the band?
41:06Is it?
41:07Number one, I eat cannibals.
41:09Number two, I eat anything.
41:10I'm mad, mate.
41:11Number three, I eat rotisserie chicken while it's still spinning.
41:14I'm also mad.
41:15Number four, I eat people's souls.
41:17Behold, I'm the necromancer made flesh.
41:19Or number five, I eat at my local Italian three nights a week,
41:23run by Giuseppe and his wife Maria.
41:25It's delicious and very reasonably priced.
41:28Bellissimo!
41:29This is just like a mum I used to make!
41:32Yeah!
41:33APPLAUSE
41:35Hex and Shirley's team, you are looking for Anita, the lead singer of Toto Coelho.
41:42Number five looks very spiritual.
41:44Good.
41:45She looks like a wild woman, doesn't she?
41:46She does.
41:47Just spiritual.
41:48Yeah.
41:49Just very like, I eat cannibals.
41:51Does she look like she sings?
41:52Yeah.
41:53Yeah.
41:54Yeah.
41:55Number four looks like, how the hell did I get here?
41:58LAUGHTER
41:59Really?
42:00And the others?
42:01Number three looks like she could have been in a band at one time.
42:04Yeah.
42:05Martin?
42:06I think number one is a little bit young for the job.
42:08Yeah, it's like having me standing up there.
42:10Do you know what I mean?
42:11LAUGHTER
42:13I'm warming to number three.
42:15Would you like some clues?
42:16Yeah.
42:17We've got a poorly paid researcher on the team who finds these clues out.
42:21Anita is very scared of spiders.
42:23There you go.
42:24LAUGHTER
42:26Does a researcher understand what the word clue means?
42:28Yeah.
42:29Got more, do you want more?
42:30Yes, please.
42:31Anita once shared a lift with David Bowie.
42:33That's more interesting.
42:34Wow.
42:35Have you noticed something?
42:36We've completely skipped number two.
42:38Yes.
42:39What's that?
42:40Not been mentioned.
42:41Not been mentioned.
42:42Yeah, but my gut feeling is it could be number two.
42:44Can I ask a question, Greg?
42:46Can you play the music and can we see them dance to it?
42:49Well, it's highly irregular.
42:51Let's do this.
42:52I'm going to play the music in, and they can do what they want,
42:54Yeah.
42:55And then I'm coming to you for an answer.
42:56So, can we have the music?
42:58I mean cannibals.
43:00I mean cannibals.
43:01I mean cannibals.
43:02I mean cannibals.
43:03I mean cannibals.
43:04Your love is a little one.
43:06To me.
43:07I mean cannibals.
43:09Yes.
43:10But can I say, number three is staring like she's fighting the urge.
43:16You know?
43:17Yeah.
43:18To dance.
43:19Or she drank warm orange juice.
43:27Okay, so...
43:28My gut instinct is one or two.
43:30Five.
43:31It's not five.
43:32It's five.
43:33So how are we going to decide it?
43:34Well, it's five.
43:35Actually...
43:36How did Pepsi and Shirley decide things back in the day?
43:37Hold on.
43:38We go like this.
43:39Five.
43:40Five.
43:41Okay.
43:42Wow, what a system.
43:46Would the real Anita please step forward?
43:53Yeah!
43:54Yeah!
43:55Gorgeous!
43:56Well done, guys.
43:59Pepsi and Shirley rise!
44:01Woo!
44:06Ladies and gentlemen, can we hear it for all of our line-up,
44:09and especially for Anita?
44:10Yeah!
44:15And at the end of that round,
44:17Pepsi and Shirley's team have two points,
44:19and Noel's team have three points!
44:25But it's time for next line.
44:27Here we go.
44:28Your time.
44:29Pepsi and Shirley's team.
44:30Everything starts now.
44:32Ooh, baby.
44:33Do you know what that's worth?
44:34Heaven is a place on earth.
44:36Correct.
44:37Belinda Carlisle, Heaven is a Place on Earth.
44:38No money man can win my love.
44:40No money man can win my love.
44:41No money man can win my love.
44:43The sweetness that I'm thinking of.
44:44The sweetness that I'm thinking of.
44:45The sweetness that I'm thinking of.
44:47OK.
44:48Just a reminder, you're against the clock.
44:50Sweetness I'm thinking of.
44:51Correct.
44:52Can't complain, mustn't grumble.
44:53Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble.
44:55Yes!
44:56ABC!
44:57CHEERING
44:58That was then and this is now.
45:01A cuddly toy is my only joy.
45:03Waiting for me when I get home.
45:04Yes!
45:05Andrew Rocheford, cuddly toy.
45:06Gold, always believe in your soul.
45:08You've got the power to know.
45:10You're indestructible.
45:11Always believe in your soul.
45:12You're indestructible.
45:13Always believe in your soul.
45:14Always believe in your soul.
45:15You've got the power to know.
45:17You're indestructible.
45:18Always believe in your soul.
45:19Spandau Ballet Gold.
45:20Woo!
45:21Well done!
45:22Well done!
45:23Well done!
45:24Well done!
45:25OK.
45:26Well done, Pepsi and Shirley's team.
45:27You've got five right.
45:28Yeah!
45:29How many do we need?
45:30Here are yours, you need five to win.
45:31We're going to do it really slow and you'll get upset.
45:33I couldn't give a fuck.
45:34Yeah.
45:35Yeah.
45:36it really slow and you'll get upset i couldn't give a fuck yeah your time starts now sometimes
45:43you're better off dead that's right greg remember that you're better off dead you got a something
45:50something pointing at your head wait yeah there's a gun in your head there's a gun in your head
45:55it's pointing your head pet shop boys western girls there's a boy i know he's the one i dream of
45:59looks into my face takes it to the clouds above whitney houston yes how will i know stop singing
46:05when i wake up what i know i'm gonna be when i wake up the man who wakes up next to you correct
46:09reclaimers i'm gonna be 500 miles oh can't you see i'm not fooling nobody don't you see the tears are
46:15falling down my face foolish beat i'm never gonna dance again i can't i've heard my name i've got no
46:21rhythm guilty feet have got no rhythm george michael careless whisper it's a mystery it's a mystery it's
46:27a mystery to me a shot in the dark no i'm such it's a mystery it's a mystery i'm still searching
46:34for a clue toya wilcox it's a mystery oh we're no we're no strangers to love that's right come on
46:42jamali you know the rules and so do i you know the rules correct rick astley never going to give you up
46:50that sound means it's the end of the round and it's the end of the show and i can tell you that
46:54pepsi and shirley's team have seven points but with eight points our winners of the 80s special
46:59tonight it's noel's team
47:08my thanks to debbie noel toya jamali judy pepsi shirley martin and roxford good night
47:25so
47:33so
47:37so
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