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Short filmTranscript
00:00Ah, good man. We need an extra hand.
00:15Actually, no, I'm here to see Cicillo's leg.
00:18But, um, what is going on?
00:21The most important two days in Great Slaughter's calendar, that's what.
00:24No, no, no, not yellow. I need red, white and blue for the Queen.
00:28Yeah, okay.
00:29The Queen is coming. She's over there. Her throne's not ready yet.
00:34Your Majesty.
00:36You're right on time. Preparations are almost complete, but we could still use some help.
00:43For what exactly?
00:45The Great Slaughter Scarecrow Festival, of course.
00:49Right. It makes sense where my hair fever is acting on.
00:51Good of you to step in as official police liaison.
00:54Actually, no, sir.
00:55One more. Great to have you on board.
00:57Um, sir, if I may have a moment of your time.
01:01It's a nightmare, isn't it?
01:03Yeah.
01:04I hate how the Scarecrow's just stare at you.
01:08Gives me the eebie-jeebies.
01:10Yeah.
01:11It's like that one.
01:12What is that one even meant to be?
01:14Oh, he went on the water and go to the water, which I did with a drink.
01:19Ha, ha, ha.
01:20Ha, ha, ha.
01:20Ha, ha.
01:21Good morning, Sarge.
01:51Good of you to volunteer.
01:52It didn't exactly happen like that.
01:55I'm just here to watch this year.
01:57Wouldn't miss it for the world.
01:59Me neither.
02:00I thought you said that.
02:01It's all so fun, really.
02:04Isn't it?
02:06Of course, it could be the last year it's on.
02:08Depending on how the vote goes.
02:10Vote?
02:10See if it's going to come back or not.
02:12After what happened last year, half the village won it banned.
02:15That was all blown out of proportion, Nora.
02:16Tell that to Mr Carter.
02:18He's still got the scar.
02:19Yeah, but it's all for a good cause.
02:22What about the Farmer's Youth Charity?
02:24After tomorrow, they might need to find another way to fundraise.
02:29Sergeant Livingstone, we're starting.
02:31Might need you on crowd control.
02:32Don't tell me you support this nonsense.
02:41It turns the whole village into a public house.
02:44I'm not complaining.
02:46Sisters, please tell me we can count on your vote to free us from this straw-filled stranglehold.
02:54Well, um, well, no, actually.
02:56I think it's rather wonderful what people can create with straw and a bit of imagination.
03:01And I can't say no to a cash prize.
03:03Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to this, the annual Great Slaughter Scarecrow Festival,
03:17all in support of the Farmer's Youth Charity.
03:21Now, we have a wonderful weekend ahead of us helping this great cause,
03:27and I'm sure you'll all agree, bringing much joy to the whole village.
03:33Tomfoolery, more like.
03:34Now, you will find scarecrows scattered all around the village,
03:39each themed for different categories.
03:42Now, the individual winners will then go on to compete for the grand prize
03:47at the closing ceremony tomorrow,
03:50and then the overall winner will go home with a cash prize of...
03:55seven pounds!
03:58Seven?
04:00It was ten last year.
04:02Ahem, yeah.
04:03Now, after last year's events,
04:08I think it's prudent that I should remind you all that, well,
04:14any instances of scarecrows' sabotage
04:18will result in instant disqualification.
04:22We will also not tolerate any fighting,
04:25kicking, punching...
04:28or biting.
04:30With all that said,
04:32it gives me great pleasure
04:33to announce this festival
04:35well and truly
04:37underway!
04:57Moses parting the Red Sea,
05:01a strong start, sisters!
05:05I think we've practised it this time!
05:09Doesn't Moses bear a striking resemblance to Joseph from last year
05:13just without the coat of many colours?
05:16All right, keep your voice down!
05:21Everything all right?
05:23My, uh, scarecrow's head won't stay on straight.
05:26Needs more straw.
05:28Why don't you take some of our leftovers?
05:29Oh, sorry.
05:38Hay fever.
05:39Thanks for this.
05:43Very generous of you.
05:45Helping out the competition?
05:48Charlie Sanderson.
05:50Competition.
05:50Sergeant Livingston.
05:53Sergeant Livingston.
05:54You're a man of good sense.
05:56Surely you can help us put an end to all this.
05:59Some fucker be here when he needed my straw back!
06:02There's no need to swear, Tom.
06:04They steal his straw, you know.
06:09Can we count on your vote?
06:10Well, I wouldn't think it would be quite appropriate for me to say while I'm working in official capacity.
06:19Of course.
06:28Ah, another fine effort, Martin.
06:31Get back!
06:33Took me hours to get his cigar at the right jaunty angle.
06:37Martin's won the last six years in a row.
06:39I heard your head's fallen off.
06:42Again.
06:43I'm fixing it.
06:44And who's running the shop while you're faffing about here?
06:49You all right?
06:50Oh, I've slipped off a ladder doing inventory at the shop.
06:54You work at Sanderson's, don't you?
06:57Oh, you came in the other weekend.
06:59Yeah, you remember.
07:00Not too many customers these days.
07:03I'm his godfather.
07:04I help him run the shop for my sins.
07:13Oh, thanks for your help.
07:15Excuse me.
07:22Oh, gosh.
07:23What now?
07:24Oh, here, let me.
07:26Oh, Sandra.
07:28You're an angel.
07:29Oh, it won't take a moment.
07:32That's my auntie, Sandra.
07:35What?
07:36Yeah.
07:36Well, not my auntie, Annie, but my mum's best friend.
07:40Do you know, she was the one who convinced me to become a WPC in the first place.
07:45Everyone else said it was a silly idea, but she always told me never to give up.
07:50Well, we owe her money, thanks.
07:52Thanks so much.
07:54What are you doing?
07:57Just lending a hand.
07:59That is an egregious breaking of the rules.
08:02No outside help.
08:04It's collusion.
08:05Oh, have a heart.
08:06He hasn't got one.
08:08Sour grapes, Clementine.
08:10I must insist.
08:11I think we'll allow it this time.
08:13So, what have we here?
08:16Ah, yes.
08:17For our fairytale category, Rapunzel in her tower, waiting for her knight in shining armour,
08:25to whisk her away from her life of drudgery, I presume.
08:29I'm sorry.
08:30I'm just having a bad day.
08:41Moving swiftly on.
08:45Oh, wait.
08:46You haven't seen my scarecrow.
08:58You've entered.
08:59You finally convinced me.
09:01How could you?
09:03My own sister?
09:03I've been telling her to enter for years.
09:07She's so talented.
09:10It's breakfast at Tiffany's.
09:12You know, I love that scene where they're looking for the cat at the end.
09:16I'm sorry, your big softie.
09:18Does she do any other poses?
09:20What are you doing?
09:24Please.
09:25It's just the prize money.
09:28Martin, time to settle up.
09:30I'm just collecting entry fees.
09:32I've already paid.
09:34No record of any payment.
09:36Check again.
09:38Ah, here we are.
09:40My mistake.
09:42I'll deal with you later.
09:47We'll kick off with the award for best.
09:50Bible story.
09:52This was a really tough decision.
09:55But the winner is...
09:57The Sisters of St Vincent's.
10:00Huzzah.
10:02Five times in a row.
10:05Hunter Sisters is the only one in this category.
10:07No one goes up against a nut.
10:13Good morning.
10:15You do know they're for the straw, right?
10:18Hello.
10:18I've got to see this Churchill everyone's banging on about.
10:23Martin is our main competition now.
10:26I wouldn't worry.
10:28That's a terrible Churchill.
10:29I heard there was an incident.
10:45A murder, I think we can safely say, from the obvious cause of death.
10:49The tiki eye to the eyes and face, bruising around the neck.
10:54All hallmark signs.
10:56Strangulation.
10:56But we're shouting distance from half the village.
10:59Surely someone heard a cry for help.
11:01Well, note the straw stuffed in his mouth.
11:06Taking care of that problem.
11:07Oh, there's something sticky.
11:10And no one in the other displays reported seeing or hearing anything out of the ordinary.
11:16I'm afraid this rather dashes our hopes of potential fingerprints.
11:19But I can check for incriminating fibres.
11:23Not much to go on in the meantime.
11:26Well, leaving us rather clutching at straws.
11:28Come on, now.
11:31Don't be corny.
11:32Oh.
11:34Very good.
11:37Now, what do we have here?
11:42That's Winston Churchill.
11:44Martin's scarecrow.
11:45Why is it all scrunched up?
11:47Maybe you weren't happy with it.
11:49Unlikely, given he was the bookie's favourite.
11:51Mrs. Clam did report seeing him doing finishing touches to his scarecrow at around...
11:5610 a.m.
11:57When everyone else was at the first judging ceremony.
12:01Well, let's find out who else wasn't at that ceremony.
12:07If I might have your attention, please.
12:13I am afraid that Martin Hubbard has been found dead.
12:19And tragically, it would appear to be murder.
12:23I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
12:35We'll cancel the Morris dancers, of course.
12:39Yes, of course.
12:40Sir, do you think it's appropriate if we continue with this at all?
12:45No, no, no, no.
12:46I'm sure Martin would have wanted us to go ahead.
12:50I think he'd prefer to still be breathing.
12:52Besides, his death blows his whole competition wide open.
13:00Oh, Sandra.
13:10I'm so sorry about your brother.
13:13I can't believe he's gone.
13:16And the last time we spoke, we argued about this stupid competition.
13:19I'll have to drop out now.
13:24Are you sure?
13:26Just wouldn't be right.
13:27I saw the killer.
13:34What?
13:35After Sister Reginald went to fetch help, I heard footsteps behind me.
13:39And when I turned around, there was a scarecrow.
13:42So who did you see?
13:44A scarecrow.
13:45A scarecrow?
13:47It must have come alive and killed Martin.
13:49Martin.
13:49Martin.
13:57That's what I saw.
14:18Wait.
14:19Did you see anything else?
14:20Now then.
14:21Who ordered the carrot cake?
14:27Perhaps Martin's house will have something more substantial to go on.
14:41That sends quite the message.
14:43Hmm.
14:44It was the last straw for someone.
14:47Oh, very good.
14:52Hmm.
14:53Looks like a sharp blade's been used on his shirts.
14:55Hmm.
14:57Kitchen scissors, perhaps.
14:59And in quite a frenzy, judging by the jagged cuts.
15:06But they've failed to consider our old friend, Locard.
15:11There's traces of something there.
15:19Looks like metal filings.
15:21Hmm.
15:22I need to take a closer look back at the lab.
15:24Look at that.
15:31Look at that.
15:32Oh, yes.
15:34Well spotted.
15:34We've narrowed our list of suspects to those who went to the first prize ceremony.
15:53They all claimed that they were keeping an eye on their displays.
15:56This is the last thing the festival needs after last year.
15:59What exactly happened last year?
16:02Someone accused the great slaughtered W.I. of sabotage and then, well, everything kicked off.
16:08Before you knew it, there were limbs flying everywhere.
16:10Scarecrow limbs.
16:11We should clarify.
16:13Do you think Martin's death could have something to do with the festival?
16:16He was the frontrunner.
16:17Well, we certainly can't rule anything out.
16:23Well, here's one thing we do know.
16:26This mystery substance we found on the straw in Martin's mouth is insoluble in water.
16:31Gas chromatography confirms it's petroleum jelly.
16:34Well, I'm the foggiest idea why that would be there.
16:36Lubrication isn't exactly efficacious when it comes to strangulation.
16:40And here's another enigma.
16:43I've checked the handwriting against other samples in Martin's house.
16:47And they aren't a match.
16:49Meaning...
16:50Meaning someone else drew them.
16:52Could someone have helped him with a scarecrow?
16:54But that's against the rules.
16:56I'll need handwriting samples from our suspects to see if one of them drew them instead.
17:00Oh, and one more thing.
17:01Note the contusions on his knuckles.
17:04Martin was in a fight.
17:06Recently.
17:07Martin and Charlie weren't getting on this morning.
17:10And Charlie had some kind of injury.
17:12But Martin's Charlie's godfather.
17:14They're like the family.
17:16Well, they didn't seem too friendly earlier.
17:19The judges and I will now confirm.
17:22And in a few moments, we will announce the prize for our next category.
17:28Best Celebrity.
17:31Can we have a word?
17:33Martin loved this category.
17:34I can't believe he's not here.
17:39We'd like to talk about your injury.
17:42You said it was an accident at work.
17:45Martin had bruising on his knuckles.
17:47Want to tell us what really happened?
17:50Um, look, it was nothing, really.
17:54It was just an argument.
17:56Bad enough to come to blows.
17:58I had a few ideas about how to expand the business.
18:01Martin wouldn't listen.
18:04Why not?
18:05He said we weren't in any place to be taking risks.
18:09He called me a half-wit.
18:12He called me a half-wit.
18:13And that caused a fight?
18:16My mum never went to school.
18:19People called her stupid all her life.
18:21Even though she opened the shop.
18:22So how did Martin end up getting involved in the business?
18:26My mum died.
18:27I was all on my own.
18:28I was only ten.
18:30And Martin stepped up to help.
18:32He's my legal guardian.
18:34The shop was in a bad way.
18:35He saved me, really.
18:36But he wouldn't let you make any decisions
18:38about your own family business?
18:40No, but I'm only 18.
18:43I can't inherit until I'm 21.
18:47That must be frustrating.
18:49I wouldn't even have a shop to worry about
18:50if it wasn't for him.
18:51I owe him everything.
18:56And the prize for best celebrity goes to...
19:02Alan Yarrow.
19:04For the Queen.
19:06What utter nonsense.
19:09Her Majesty the Queen is not a celebrity.
19:13Now, where is the man of the hour?
19:16Well, here he is.
19:18Foe for the bugle, Alan.
19:19Not now.
19:20The Queen is sabotaged.
19:26Look, she looks fine.
19:28Her corgis are gone.
19:30This is high treason.
19:32I turn my back for a moment and this happens.
19:34What if Dotty's claims were right?
19:36What claims?
19:37She saw a scarecrow fleeing the scene of the murder.
19:39What?
19:40Norman, if you could just clear the scene for me.
19:43Now.
19:44Right.
19:45Look, I'll ask around and I'll see what I can find out.
19:50I found a handwriting match among our suspects.
19:57I know who drew Martin's designs.
20:00I'm afraid it was Sandra.
20:02There has to be an explanation.
20:09Well, there's only one way to find out.
20:13What's this about a killer scarecrow?
20:15I don't believe any of that, Norm.
20:17So there have been sightings?
20:18It's just nonsense.
20:19Were you and Martin working together to win the competition?
20:26Of course not.
20:28I didn't need his help.
20:30But he needed yours.
20:31I was the one behind Martin's displays.
20:35I designed them and I made them.
20:39So why did you decide to enter the competition this year?
20:42Well, did you know that I was once offered an apprenticeship in London?
20:45Savile Row.
20:47Well, I was all set to move away until Martin convinced me that I...
20:50I wouldn't cut it.
20:52But you're so talented.
20:55Oh.
20:56Well, I...
20:57I couldn't give up my dream, you see, of owning my own dressmaking shop.
21:01It might not be Savile Row, but it was something of my own.
21:06And watching Martin win every year with my designs,
21:10I just wondered if I could do it.
21:14And Martin didn't like that?
21:16He liked the idea of winning too much.
21:18Can't we both enter?
21:20No.
21:22This is the one thing I love.
21:25And you're ruining it.
21:27Oh, please don't be like that.
21:29It's just the prize money.
21:31Oh, yes, for this ridiculous shop of yours.
21:35But what do you know about running a business?
21:37And who are you going to turn to when it all fails, eh?
21:40I always say, stick to what you know.
21:43I just wanted to try.
21:45And you didn't care about betraying me in the process?
21:47Oh, please.
21:48Well, I've got friends at the council.
21:50People who owe me a favour.
21:51I'll make sure they reject any application you submit.
21:54Even if you win, you won't get your shop.
21:58And that was the last time we spoke.
22:01And now he's gone.
22:03How could I possibly stay in the competition?
22:07Don't you owe it to yourself to try?
22:10Never give up on your dreams.
22:11That's what you always told me.
22:13Oh, I'm not young and brave like you, Peggy.
22:17Oh, be careful.
22:43Don't mind me.
22:44They're about to announce best sporting legend.
22:47I think I've a good chance against Muhammad Ali.
22:50Not something you can say every day.
22:52What are you up to?
22:53Those shiny particles on Martin's shirt.
22:56With traces of gold paint.
22:59So I'm taking samples.
23:00We've already done the Queen's crown,
23:02Rapunzel's hair and Audrey Hepburn's earrings.
23:04I know his head's a bit wobbly,
23:06but everyone loves Bobby.
23:07All finished.
23:11Ah, just in time.
23:13Ah-ha!
23:14Now you are talking!
23:20Well, congratulations to you.
23:24Best sporting legend.
23:27I can't believe it.
23:28Your mum would be so proud.
23:31Martin said I didn't stand a chance.
23:33Well, Martin wasn't always right.
23:37Cheers.
23:44I'm sorry about you, brother.
23:48I know what he meant to you as well.
23:52I don't know how I managed the shop without him.
23:55He was telling me about some of your ideas.
23:57Home delivery service and a loyalty scheme.
24:02I thought they were very clever.
24:04I should just stick to what I know.
24:06Well, that's what Martin always said.
24:09Do you know, your mum didn't let anything hold her back.
24:13No.
24:14If you don't try...
24:19Speaking of which,
24:22there's something I need to do.
24:24Would you excuse me, please, Charlie?
24:32Excuse me, Hector.
24:34I'd, er...
24:35I'd like to re-enter the competition.
24:38You can't do that.
24:40I will have to confer with the other judges.
24:43Sandra, what category were you in?
24:46It was Audrey Hepburn for Best Celebrity.
24:48Ah, has already been judged.
24:50Well, all right, then I'll make a new Scarecrow.
24:52Which categories are still open?
24:55Er, well, just, erm, local heroes tomorrow.
24:58Local heroes it is.
25:00This is an outrage.
25:01Now, now, Alan.
25:03Your help organising this festival is invaluable.
25:06But please remember, you are a competitor, not a judge.
25:11What's going on?
25:13Oh, nothing to worry about.
25:15He's letting Sandra re-enter after she voluntarily withdrew.
25:17Oh, gallant.
25:19So now you're fiddling about with the rules, are you?
25:22As if the festival itself isn't bad enough.
25:24What do you mean, bad enough?
25:26Why does everyone have to fight?
25:27Tell me, help me!
25:29Well, nurse, the matter!
25:30The Kairus Scarecrow!
25:32What?
25:32It was alive!
25:34It's just me.
25:35Here we go.
25:36They're everywhere!
25:37We've thought of what this festival's reduced us to.
25:40People keep telling me this festival's meant to be bringing you all together,
25:42but he seems to be doing the opposite.
25:44I'll admit, you're not saying it at its best.
25:47Can we have a lead?
25:48We need to un-mosh!
25:49Come on!
25:50Come on!
25:50Look!
25:51What are you doing?
25:55What's she doing now?
25:57What are you doing?
25:57No!
25:58Wait!
25:59Stop that!
26:03Stop!
26:07Oi!
26:09Everyone!
26:11Calm down!
26:12Thank you, Sister Reginald.
26:19Never seen anything like it.
26:21Sorry Dad's fretting half of them with disqualification.
26:24Well, that would rather put a dampener on festivities.
26:28Oh, did you hear?
26:29My Auntie Sandra's only gone and re-entered.
26:31Oh!
26:32Bravo!
26:34I have no idea if she'll choose for local here, eh?
26:37It's not like anything goes on round here.
26:38Well, in 1947, Sister Heatherner, previously of St. Vincent's,
26:44single-handedly defended a mission against Venezuelan revolutionaries,
26:47though she is quite a niche prospect.
26:50Ah-ha!
26:56Well, you found a match.
26:59Note the thickness of the undercoat and the topcoat of glitter.
27:03We've struck gold.
27:05See, who's Scarecrow is it?
27:08So, why did you cut off Merton's shirts?
27:12That's quite the act of passion.
27:17I loved him.
27:18You were Rapunzel and he was your knight in shiny armour.
27:24I thought he was.
27:27He ended it.
27:30Just like that.
27:31I went ready to start a new life with him, but...
27:35he didn't care.
27:40So you wanted to hurt him back?
27:42I didn't kill him.
27:43I just wanted to send a message.
27:49I snuck into his house last night
27:52and I saw his shirt.
27:55But then I heard him
27:56arguing with someone.
27:59Did you see who it was?
28:01I didn't look.
28:03I could only really hear Martin
28:05saying something about checks.
28:08You can't back out now you've cashed them.
28:11Did you hear anything else?
28:13I snuck out the back door
28:15as quick as I could.
28:17I know how guilty I must look,
28:20but I swear
28:21that's the truth.
28:30Good morning.
28:34Oh, no, um...
28:36What's happened?
28:37What does it look like?
28:40Sorry.
28:41I'm just...
28:42Sorry.
28:43Almost savage attack.
28:45Must have been some time last night.
28:48First Alan.
28:49Now Charlie.
28:50Any one of us could be next.
28:53Maybe we should pull out the competition.
28:56Might as well.
28:57Now that my chance at the prize money's gone.
29:00Surely you can fix it
29:02before the grand prize ceremony.
29:04Probably.
29:05Maybe.
29:09Have you seen this?
29:13Killer scarecrow stalking the streets.
29:16Norman.
29:17Wally by name.
29:18Wally by name.
29:19We need to cause a panic.
29:20The festival won't find a chance at the boot later.
29:23Surely people will know that this is all nonsense.
29:26Oh, this looks familiar.
29:31From the local bank?
29:33Yes, from Martin's fireplace.
29:35It must have been a financial document.
29:37A statement, perhaps.
29:39I'm afraid the rest is too burnt to salvage.
29:41Martin's account could shed some light on this.
29:44Allow me.
29:44I've been looking for an excuse to see the desk clerk again.
29:47It's a Sunday.
29:48The banks are closed.
29:49Not a problem.
29:50I've got her number.
29:51I know what I saw.
29:56And I'm not the only one.
29:57They walk among us.
29:59This festival has turned the village into a madhouse.
30:03Didn't need much help there.
30:05Well, if you'll excuse me,
30:07I need to make my way to the streets.
30:09He's over there!
30:10He's over there!
30:11Huh?
30:11Over there!
30:15Over there, look!
30:16What's over there?
30:17That's Garn Crow!
30:19So I see.
30:20Oh, God, you...
30:21Well, we'll make sure we keep an eye out.
30:29I don't want to know, do I?
30:32I thought you'd be happy to finally get a break in the case.
30:35Okay, so what did Martin's statement say?
30:37Several large outgoing payments to Alan Yarrow.
30:43What exactly are these payments for?
30:46You didn't tell anyone, did you?
30:48Stop worrying about your reputation and answer the question.
30:55To buy my silence.
30:58Go on.
30:59Martin was embezzling from the Farmers Youth Charity.
31:02No wonder he was such a fan of the festival.
31:05I confronted him, but he...
31:06He offered me money instead.
31:08Why didn't you come to us?
31:12I've got debts.
31:14I couldn't say no to that kind of money.
31:16I knew it was wrong, but by then it was too late.
31:18He had quite a hold over you.
31:20Perhaps one you wanted to be free of.
31:23You think I killed him?
31:26Why would I kill Martin when he was paying me?
31:28You're not going to tell the judges, are you?
31:35No.
31:36But we will need to investigate you for possible corruption.
31:40But...
31:40But I'm a pillar of the community.
31:43Really?
31:45Then start acting like one.
31:48Wait!
31:52Oi!
31:52What are you doing?
31:54Stop!
32:08It's a knife.
32:10Stop!
32:11Stop!
32:21I told you!
32:22Don't you dare!
32:29Be careful.
32:31It could be anyone.
32:50I can't believe this.
32:51I know.
32:53This symbol was right.
32:54Well, the fibres match those found on Martin's neckerchief.
33:16This glove belongs to our killer.
33:20But why is our killer attacking scarecrows?
33:25A vendetta against the festival.
33:27Speaking of which, we'd better fill the chief in.
33:30Oh, while you're there, could you fetch me something?
33:33Well, someone.
33:36Impressive work to get a scarecrow made so quickly.
33:39Oh, she made a new one.
33:39Oh, she made a new one.
33:40Oh, sorry.
33:42Who did she pick?
33:44Well, why don't you have a look yourself?
33:51Me?
33:52I think she's got your smile quite perfectly.
33:57I can't believe he chose me.
34:01First WPC in the county.
34:03I mean, how could I have chosen anyone else?
34:06Is that a smile I see, Vera?
34:12Don't be ridiculous.
34:14More petroleum jelly.
34:25Sister, I'm sorry, but why do you need this?
34:30Well, Her Majesty's here for her own protection.
34:32And she's evidence.
34:35Well, she's evidence.
34:36That makes me want to...
34:40Bless you, Felix.
34:44And thank you.
34:52Get Sam.
34:53Huh?
34:53Get Sam.
34:55Sorry.
34:56I can now announce the final category of the festival.
35:01Local heroes.
35:03Now, this was a unanimous decision by myself.
35:06Um, and the other judges.
35:09So, please, the winner is...
35:13Sandra Hubbard!
35:16Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
35:18Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
35:20Oh, well done, Sandra.
35:22Lovely scarecrow.
35:23Beautifully stuffed.
35:25Now, Sandra will now join the other finalists for the grand prize ceremony, which I will be judging shortly.
35:33But in the meantime, please remember that the ballot boxes are now open for your votes.
35:39So please, vote wisely!
35:42Charlie, stop!
35:45Well done, Auntie Sandra.
35:49Stay back!
35:51Put the lighter down, Charlie.
35:53Look, we know you killed Martin.
35:55No!
35:55Disguising yourself as a scarecrow was an ingenious idea.
35:59But it must have been torture in your sinuses.
36:02You can't prove that was me.
36:04You used the age-old trick of smearing petroleum jelly under your nose to catch pollen.
36:08And I'm quite sure that we'd find traces on you now.
36:11Martin was stealing from the festival.
36:14And business wasn't good at the shop either, was it?
36:16Was he stealing from you too?
36:18We found bank documents in his house that he tried to destroy.
36:22Martin never let me look at any of those.
36:24He said I wouldn't understand what it all meant, but...
36:27When we received a final notice on the rent, I had to see what was wrong.
36:31Instead, I realised the truth.
36:33What do you think you're doing?
36:42You've been stealing.
36:44From the festival, from the shop, all this time.
36:47Don't be stupid.
36:48You let me believe it was my fault.
36:51But it was you.
36:52You ungrateful brat.
36:55How long have I looked after you?
36:57Wait.
36:58Did you do this to Mum too?
37:02That's why she was almost bankrupt.
37:04She blamed herself, and then she...
37:09When everyone finds out...
37:12And who would believe you?
37:18Come here.
37:19Come here.
37:22Come here.
37:23He made her think it was all her fault.
37:25And she killed herself out of the shame.
37:31I don't have a mum because of him.
37:33So it was revenge.
37:35I wanted justice.
37:36For a mum.
37:37But it wasn't enough.
37:50And you wanted to bring the festival down with you.
37:52The whole thing's a sham.
37:55Well, Martin said it was for such a good cause, but the only person he was helping was himself.
37:59But you're not like that, Charlie.
38:01You care about what's right and wrong.
38:03Don't you come any closer!
38:04Look.
38:05You said that you wanted justice.
38:07But this is not the way.
38:10Please.
38:11Put the lighter down.
38:12What would your mum think?
38:14She's gone because of Martin.
38:16Don't you think Martin's caused enough pain and destruction?
38:20Don't be like him.
38:21You care about the people around you.
38:24And they care about you.
38:25Does it matter?
38:27Of course it does.
38:28But think about what this would do to Sandra and this whole community.
38:33Don't do it.
38:36It's too late.
38:37It's never too late to try.
38:41You can make things better.
38:52I just...
38:53I just wanted to make things right.
38:57We know.
39:05Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for your patience, whilst we resolved an urgent police matter.
39:25You'll have heard that Charlie Sanderson has been arrested for reasons that put our festival to shame.
39:33That's putting it lightly.
39:35Thank you, Vera.
39:36Please do cast your vote for the future of our festival, because I believe, I believe, that we can turn this around.
39:49Should you not hang up your scarecrows for good, I promise to restore this festival to its former glory.
39:57Well, with all that said, let's crack on with the grand prize ceremony, and how about a round of applause for our four wonderful contestants and finalists.
40:08We have Clementine Bell, sister Reginald, and don't you go forgetting, you chaps, that only one of you gets to take the grand prize home.
40:23Anyway, after much deliberation, it gives me enormous pleasure to present this grand prize to...
40:37Sandra Hubbard!
40:39Sandra Hubbard!
40:40APPLAUSE
40:41Well, Donna.
40:43Oh, thank you.
40:54I thought you'd have clinched it.
40:56Well, I only really entered to impress Martin, so...
41:00Well, you impressed me.
41:02Your Rapunzel was magnificent.
41:05Apart from the tatty sleeve.
41:08Nonsense.
41:09I'll need some help in the dress shop when I finally open.
41:14You mean me?
41:16No, but Margaret in the village is really good with a sewing needle.
41:20Of course I mean you.
41:22Oh, thank you.
41:25I really thought we had it in the bag.
41:29Oh, there's always next year.
41:32Time to think big.
41:35How about Last Supper?
41:37All the disciples.
41:38Yes, well, we'll have to start stockpiling straw then, sister.
41:44Assuming that the festival is happening next year.
41:47Ah, got to be in it to win it.
41:50It's going to be close.
42:01This beer tent has addled their brains.
42:05Well, we've counted the votes and it seems to be a tie.
42:10Oh.
42:11I don't know what the protocol is.
42:13Did you vote, Sarge?
42:17No.
42:18I was preoccupied with the killer scarecrow.
42:22Sir, we've got another one here.
42:23Come on.
42:24You know what to do.
42:30Just remember to do what's best for the community.
42:33We have a decision.
42:48The Great Slaughter Scarecrow Festival
42:54will continue.
42:58Hooray!
43:02And seeing how you're such a fan,
43:05you can be the official liaison again next year.
43:07Can you forgive me, Mrs. Clum?
43:12Well, of course, I blame you for being a bad influence.
43:18Man of the hour.
43:20Right.
43:21This deserves another round.
43:23Oh, yes.
43:24Make mine a shandy.
43:25I'm in the mood to celebrate.
43:26Oh, I'm so proud of you, Annie, Sandra.
43:31Oh, finally.
43:32I can get back to some real journalism.
43:34Enough of all these silly scarecrows.
43:37Not that I was scared.
43:38RAAAARGH!
43:42Oh, Becky.
43:43Get her.
43:44Becky.
43:47Oh, no!
43:48I can't stop it.
43:49Stop it for me.
43:50No!
43:51You're a madwoman!
43:52Get away from me!
43:54Oh, 70,000!
43:55You're a madwoman!
43:56Get away from me!
43:57You're a madwoman!
43:57What?
43:59Ow-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo!
44:00Mom!
44:01Mom!
44:02Mom!
44:03Oh, no!
44:10Mom!
44:10Mom!
44:21Mom!
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