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Short filmTranscript
00:00Something you look through.
00:14Something that flashes.
00:16Oh, I'm so sorry, folks, but you haven't remembered all the items on the prize desculator,
00:22so you won't be leaving here with the big cash prize.
00:26However, I would never let you go home empty-handed.
00:30Angela!
00:33All right, let's see which fabulous place we're off to for next week's show,
00:38the last show of the series.
00:48Well, there we have it.
00:50So, we'll see you next time where once again...
00:52We'll let the games begin.
00:55And cut.
00:56Oh, thank you so much for playing, you two. Thank you. Thank you.
01:05Freddie, I thought we said I could close the show.
01:07Oh, yeah, sorry, sweetheart. Just completely forgot.
01:12Oi!
01:12You know, this show's given me a fear of escalators. Just do stairs and lifts now.
01:21Oi!
01:22Yeah?
01:23It's my taxi, yeah?
01:24Yeah, I think it's outside.
01:25Yeah, then go fetch my things.
01:27Thought you were my PA.
01:28Yeah.
01:28Well...
01:29I've spoken to them, and they've said yes.
01:42Yes!
01:42You won't regret this.
01:45Right.
01:46I've got to run.
01:48But I will see you next week in...
01:50Um, Great Slaughter.
01:53Wherever that is.
01:55Freddie.
01:55Mm.
01:58Just keep this to yourself for now.
02:00OK?
02:01Of course.
02:02Though I would not want to be you when they all discover they're out of a job.
02:35It's quite simple.
02:45So, the show pairs six people to partake in a series of frivolous tasks.
02:49The remaining two then have to remember several items on an escalator in order to win them all, plus a cash prize.
02:55People actually watch this.
02:57Why did Cece Langley ask to meet you?
02:59Good question.
03:00Oh, watch out!
03:01Sorry.
03:04I'm still getting the hang of this.
03:06Are you auditioning?
03:07I'd rather not humiliate myself on national television.
03:11Oh.
03:11Well, I'd be careful then.
03:13Wouldn't want you to fall off your high horse.
03:15Great question, Norm.
03:21I mean, look, the thing is, I'm a natural ball entertainer.
03:23You know, during the war, in the rifle brigade, I was the one keeping everyone's spirits up.
03:28And then after that, toured the theatres, one opportunity calls, and, um, here I am.
03:33And, Angela, you've been a part of the show almost a year.
03:38Mm, replace Jodie.
03:40Those are big shoes to fill.
03:42So, what's it like being a glamorous assistant?
03:46Great, though hopefully I won't be that forever.
03:49Mm, keeps threatening to jump channels.
03:54You're here!
03:55Yes, sir.
03:56Why exactly?
03:57All will be revealed, Gillespie, the Great Slaughter Police Retired Dogs Trust.
04:06Is that Rexy?
04:07It certainly is the finest to ever serve this constabulary.
04:12So, what's this got to do with us meeting here?
04:14Well, actually, it's a time for the Trust's annual fundraiser.
04:20I mean, the place is in dire need of new kennels.
04:23Though, whilst organising this is typically, well, my responsibility,
04:27other commitments, my dramatics, my, um, embroidery classes have, uh,
04:35well, somehow got in the way.
04:37So, we have just two days to find the funds.
04:40No, sir, I'm sorry, but I can't.
04:44A share of that cash prize will more than suffice.
04:48And given that filming is tonight and tomorrow,
04:50we'll have precisely what we need just in the nick of time.
04:54It is for a good cause.
04:56That's the spirit, Button.
04:59Now, come along, all of ye.
05:01Get stuck in.
05:03You too, sister.
05:08Is Peggy auditioning?
05:09It would appear so.
05:25I was thinking, maybe I could introduce the first challenge.
05:28You know, mix things up a bit.
05:30If it's the marching band, you've got to use the old
05:32they're-blowing-their-own-trumpets gag.
05:34Good.
05:34Well, it's fine by me.
05:37Just check with Freddie.
05:38Check what?
05:40I was saying I could introduce the first challenge?
05:44It's a little bit last minute for that, love.
05:46Tell you what you can do.
05:47Get rid of that lippy.
05:49Doesn't suit you.
05:51Headshots to sign?
05:52Dump them in my dressing room.
05:53Do you want me to fetch a cup of tea?
05:54OK.
05:59Have you told everyone?
06:00This is still happening?
06:06Yes, yes.
06:07Just need to find the right time, that's all.
06:11Yeah.
06:23But, sir, why was I chosen?
06:25Well, you clearly impressed, old boy.
06:28As for the others...
06:29Where's Peggy?
06:31Yeah, let's just say that her plate spinning
06:32left a lot to be desired.
06:35Oh!
06:36Thank you so much.
06:38This'll be our tasks.
06:40Oh, along with our pairings.
06:44What?
06:46You've got to be kidding me.
06:48Hello, Nigel.
06:50And I'm with, um...
06:53Vera!
06:54Yes.
06:54Look sharp, Hector.
06:56I've got my eye on that electric tea maker.
06:59And who is Denise?
07:02I've seen you here.
07:03Oh.
07:08So, Dottie, dear.
07:11If you were to win the big cash prize, what would you spend it on?
07:13I'd renovate my cafe, the Bumbly Bee.
07:17Oh, fantastic.
07:19New liquor paint sort of thing.
07:20Oh, no.
07:21I want to turn it into an actual bee.
07:24Yellow and black stripes on the walls and wings on either side.
07:28Hmm.
07:29Okay.
07:30I'd buy the limited edition Professor Y's eyebook acting figure.
07:34Only 500 ever made.
07:36Hmm.
07:38Yeah.
07:38Are you single by any chance, Norm?
07:43Now, it says here that you would like to be an actress.
07:47Ooh.
07:47You'd use the money for drama school, or...?
07:50Um, yes.
07:51And, uh, give some to my sister.
07:53Um, she's just had a baby.
07:55Oh, aren't you sweet?
07:57Here, how do you feel about being paired up with Felix?
08:00Fine.
08:02Just surprised he's doing something so humiliating.
08:05Ah, we have a comedian as well as an actress.
08:07We can't all take ourselves so seriously.
08:10Okay.
08:11Now that we've met our contestants, let's bring on our first challenge.
08:16And cut.
08:18Just the set.
08:20Actually, hold that there.
08:21Sorry, just before we do that, I have a quick announcement.
08:24Come and gather in, everyone.
08:27That is that Let the Games Begin is heading to America.
08:32And, uh, yeah.
08:33So, whilst yours truly, we'll be heading over there to host it.
08:36It does mean this is the end of the UK show.
08:40So.
08:42Yeah, you might want to start thinking about the future.
08:53So.
08:56Now that Angie and I have shown our contestants how it's done,
09:00let the Games Begin.
09:03I'm sorry.
09:17Ah.
09:18Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
09:48We're doing the judging, and with five points, it's Hector and Vera coming in close second with four points.
09:56It's Norman and Dottie alongside Felix and Denise.
10:00So whilst no one goes home this time, everything changes in the next task.
10:07Cards. Pick the rest up tomorrow.
10:15Denise, perhaps we got off on the wrong foot.
10:22And since we're partnered together.
10:30So what made you want to take part?
10:32By trying to raise money for a dog charity.
10:34I'll see you in the morning then, cowboy.
10:45Ange.
10:46Ange.
10:47About Freda's announcement.
10:50Don't.
10:52Not a cleaner, Freddy.
10:53No, but last time I checked, you used to work for me, so sort it.
10:56Oh, yeah.
10:57This is coffee, yeah?
11:04You know what this does to me!
11:07Makes him even more of an insufferable sod.
11:09Everyone set?
11:13Okay, in three, two...
11:20Yee-haw!
11:21Now, coming up in our next challenge, one of the pairs will ride the bull holding a basket,
11:27whilst the other tosses a beanbag for them to catch.
11:30Judging will be Buck and Bronco Champion, Brad Hunter!
11:37But as always, Ange and I will be up first to show you how it's done.
11:43All right.
11:44Oh!
11:46Actually, you, um...
11:48You know what, Brad?
11:50You're the expert.
11:51But you can show us.
11:59All right!
12:00Saddle up then, partner!
12:01Up you go!
12:01Woo-hoo!
12:04All right, let's get this rootin' toot.
12:07show on the road!
12:18He won't stop!
12:19Can't.
12:20Can't!
12:25Ah!
12:34Well, I mean, clearly this is a tragic action.
12:37It's an accident.
12:41What is it?
12:43This wire.
12:44Deliberately exposed in the motor and attached to the underside of the saddle horn,
12:48effectively making the bull live the moment the wires touched.
12:51And this leather torn to ensure direct contact with the current.
12:56Meaning that this wasn't an accident.
12:59Well, judging by these indentations, the sabotage was conducted using a tool of some sort.
13:04Samurai sword letter opener, somewhat niche item, whose condition suggests it was not used by our culprit.
13:20Bingo!
13:21I don't understand.
13:21I don't understand.
13:22I don't understand.
13:23Why would anyone want to murder a bucking bronco champion?
13:24Actually, he wasn't supposed to be the person that was riding it.
13:26I mean, why would anyone want to kill me?
13:28Aside from those you just told were unemployed, is there anyone in particular you think might be behind this?
13:33Uh, no one springs to mind.
13:34Right.
13:35Well, you'll have to hold filming.
13:36Right.
13:37Well, you'll have to hold filming.
13:38But this is our last show in the UK.
13:39I mean, dear lesbian, I mean, Cillespie.
13:40I mean, why would anyone want to kill me?
13:42Aside from those you just told were unemployed!
13:45Is there anyone in particular that you think might be behind this?
13:49Well, no one springs to mind.
13:51Right.
13:52Well, you'll have to hold filming.
13:53But this is our last show in the UK.
13:56Killespie!
13:58I mean, surely you can conduct your inquiries around the game.
14:01Think about Wrexy.
14:02Fine.
14:03But our investigation comes first.
14:07Yes...
14:08I will need protecting.
14:10At your service, sir.
14:12Although, obviously, I will have to fit that in around the tasks.
14:16Given the busy set, our culprit couldn't have sabotaged the ball unnoticed,
14:20meaning it had to have taken place with hardly anyone around.
14:26We're speaking to those that stayed late last night or arrived early this morning.
14:31I'm always in early. This is my show.
14:35Of course I was here late. It takes forever to get out these outfits.
14:38I stayed behind last night to talk to Director Giles about breaking into the industry.
14:43Not that I got the chance.
14:46I work late most nights.
14:48Freddie can be demanding.
14:50He's been the same since his variety days.
14:52Oh, I knew I recognised you. Archie and Malcolm.
14:56Yeah. What's this?
14:58I used to be in a double act. We toured a variety show with Freddie.
15:02They were most amusing. And you were also on opportunity calls.
15:05Mm. Yeah, again, with Freddie.
15:07Did you win?
15:08No, Archie's nerves got the better of him. So now I do this.
15:13Sorry. So sorry. Oh, awful habit.
15:16Mine. Not yours. You've got... This is very nice.
15:19It really frames your face.
15:21Given that you're Freddie's assistant, have you noticed anything unusual over the last day or so?
15:27Um, I... Now you mention it, there was that really big mess in his dressing room that he asked me to clean up.
15:33What mess?
15:36Why didn't you say someone had been in here?
15:39Given the state of this room, it looks like they were searching for something.
15:42Probably a member of the crew. You know what they're like, just rummaging around.
15:46So you weren't aware of anyone else?
15:48No, just me and Malcolm.
15:50Hmm. Champagne cork.
15:51Hmm. Which appears to have some sort of powder on it.
16:03Yes, well, I treated myself to some champers last night.
16:07You drank a whole bottle to yourself?
16:09I was celebrating. Right, I'm needed on set.
16:15I think Freddie knows precisely who was in here, and the reason why.
16:19Then why not tell us?
16:21Well, obviously to keep us in the dark.
16:24Makes me wonder what else he's hiding.
16:29Sister, look.
16:31This drawer's been forced open.
16:41Perhaps they took what they were looking for.
16:43Hmm. Potentially.
16:45Though seemingly,
16:46they've left something behind.
16:53So,
16:54let's start with the cork.
16:57Spectroscopic observations show
16:59that the powder that was on it
17:00is in fact makeup foundation.
17:03Contradicting Freddie's claim
17:05he was drinking alone.
17:06Well, not necessarily.
17:08Freddie will no doubt be given an application
17:09of on-screen makeup.
17:11I'll perform a comparison test
17:13to see if it's his.
17:14Anything else?
17:15Oh, yes.
17:16Those headshots that we found.
17:18The substance on their surface
17:19turned out to be minute flakes of cedarwood.
17:23And given that these flakes appeared masticated,
17:25I decided to run a Fidabas test,
17:27which showed they were covered in saliva.
17:30And that all means?
17:32Well, cedarwood's primarily used to coat pencils.
17:34So, for these flakes to both fall onto the headshots
17:37as well as contain saliva,
17:39I deduce whoever forced the drawer open
17:41had to have been chewing this.
17:45All right.
17:52I was in there first thing,
17:55but I had no choice.
17:56A few weeks back,
18:09the show visited my hometown.
18:13I caught up with an old friend.
18:17An old flame.
18:19Joanna, my wife.
18:24I love her more than anything.
18:27It's just...
18:29It's just always being on the road.
18:34The night it happened,
18:36Freddie must have still been around.
18:39He took some photos,
18:41showed them to me.
18:43He'd heard rumours about America.
18:45He said if I didn't take him,
18:46then he'd show Joanna everything.
18:49It was these photos that you were looking for earlier?
18:52Yeah.
18:53All I found were those headshots.
18:55So you decided to permanently end Freddie's blackmail?
18:57No.
18:59I mean, look...
19:01I hate what that man is doing to me.
19:04But at the end of the day,
19:06I created this mess.
19:10Watch the egg.
19:11Remove yourself from my person immediately.
19:19Then how is this supposed to work?
19:21In a way which does not involve your hand on my...
19:25Never-reaching...
19:25Ready, Neil?
19:29Actually, Miss Thimble,
19:30it's Norman,
19:32like it's always been.
19:33Really?
19:34I'm ever so sorry.
19:38And...
19:39That's it, Noah.
19:40So, you went from palm trees and beaches
19:48to village fates and barringing?
19:51Yeah, it was quite a shock at first,
19:53but now it's home.
19:57So, why a great slaughter of all places?
20:00Actually, I was meant to be going to Scotland Yard.
20:03We were meant to be going to London.
20:04We?
20:06Um, she's probably...
20:08Okay.
20:09Blimey!
20:10Just met and you're already tying the knot.
20:13Yeah.
20:15He's cheered up.
20:17How do you mean?
20:18Well, last night he was, um,
20:20laying into that Freddy.
20:21Something about him ruining a big chance room.
20:23I've been his dog's body for years,
20:28so when I saw a job opening for a variety show manager,
20:31I finally went for it.
20:33They said all I needed was a half-decent reference,
20:35which he said he'd give me.
20:36And that wasn't the case.
20:38Well, they called yesterday,
20:39said that they've gone with somebody else.
20:41I knew he'd ruined it,
20:42so when I asked him why,
20:43he said it's because he decides
20:45when the end of our engagement is
20:46because he employed me when nobody else would.
20:49You must have felt aggrieved.
20:50Just putting it lightly.
20:51I'm not going to kill the bloke.
20:53Wasted enough years on him as it is.
20:55So why stick around,
20:56unless it was for a specific reason?
20:59There is.
21:00Money.
21:01Cheapskates sorted it so the show pays me.
21:03So if I don't stay until the end,
21:04I don't get this month's paycheck.
21:06But when I do,
21:07you are not going to see me for dust.
21:14So the aim is to take the eggs over to the basket
21:18without dropping them.
21:20Sadly, mine and Angie's attempt
21:21was far from excellent.
21:25Without further ado,
21:27let the games begin.
21:31Careful.
21:31OK.
21:36Yeah.
21:37You did it.
21:39Just take me in your arms.
21:42What sort of talk is that for a married man?
21:44You're doing it.
21:47Of course, Miss Amulet.
21:48It's just like having three legs.
21:59Nearly there.
22:04Be-be, be-be, be-be!
22:06And with the scores added in from the last round,
22:17Dottie and Norman lead Felix and Denise by just one point.
22:22But what does this mean, Ange?
22:25You tell me.
22:28It means that sadly, Hector and Vera, you will be leaving us.
22:36APPLAUSE
22:37All right, let's move on to the final challenge.
22:44And cut.
22:47Look, I get that you're upset about the show, but some professionalism.
22:55Well, thank you, Vera, for being about as much use as a handbrake on a canoe.
23:00We're really going to be relying on you this time, Livingston.
23:03Oh, although you do have the advantage of my extensive expertise and, um...
23:10Hmm?
23:11Perhaps something else.
23:17Ah, Freddie.
23:19Look, we've just had some interesting conversations with both Malcolm and Giles.
23:24And even if you'd rather we weren't aware of your behaviour,
23:28we need to know who may want to hurt you.
23:30Like I said,
23:32I can't think of anyone.
23:35Where is that director?
23:37You all right, Mrs. Clown?
23:38I should think not,
23:40given that this pitiful consolation prize they've given me is defective.
23:45That's strange.
23:47It appears to be deliberately torn.
23:49I'll be gentle as I can, Mr. Bear.
23:58What on earth are you doing?
24:00Evidently, uncovering what someone deemed to be the perfect hiding place.
24:09The striation marks from the screwdriver matched those on the ball,
24:18meaning this was our tool.
24:20But why hide it in the bear?
24:22A moment of panic, perhaps.
24:24The handle contained no clear prints,
24:26though interestingly there were several fibres present.
24:29Microscopic examination shows their flock fibres,
24:32the type used on velvet clothing.
24:34Oh, and they're also purple.
24:35So we're looking for someone who wore purple velvet?
24:39Oh, potentially,
24:39though there are several uses of this specific fibre,
24:42of which I've compiled a list.
24:45Clothes, curtains, interiors,
24:47basically everything.
24:49OK, we'll search the studio,
24:51and I'll ask Felix to keep an eye out.
24:52Oh, um,
24:53and there's also the matter of the cork.
24:55Now, Freddie's foundation is actually cream-based,
24:58primarily made of mineral oil,
25:00stearic acid and oxychloride,
25:01whilst the one on the cork is a powder foundation,
25:04consisting of talc, zinc oxide and kaolin.
25:07So in layman's terms,
25:09someone else was with him last night.
25:12It also transpires that there's only one person on the show
25:15who uses that particular foundation.
25:19After his announcement,
25:20I took some champagne to his dressing room,
25:23to celebrate.
25:23I also wanted a chat.
25:27I'm always the assistant,
25:29seen and not heard.
25:31But that's not enough.
25:33I want to be the one presenting.
25:35Freddie knew this.
25:37Ever since I started.
25:39Even promised to mentor me,
25:41to the point where I'd eventually co-host.
25:44Now he was going to America,
25:45I thought,
25:46this could be my break,
25:48that I might go too.
25:50He said I could.
25:51Though there was a condition.
25:59I had to prove
26:00how much I appreciated him first.
26:07Afterwards,
26:08I asked,
26:09what now?
26:11I started laughing.
26:13He said he couldn't believe I was so naive
26:16that a bit of crumpet like me
26:18could never be host.
26:21Here.
26:27As reprehensible as that is,
26:30it does give you strong motive.
26:32I know,
26:33but this wasn't me.
26:35It wasn't.
26:38Because no matter what happens to Freddie,
26:40I'd still feel disgusted with myself.
26:43She was adamant
26:47that Alfred Hitchcock was in her calf,
26:49so I ran across town.
26:50And when you arrived,
26:51it turned out to be a plumber called Dave.
26:53You know,
26:59before,
26:59when you said we,
27:01I mean,
27:02we don't have to,
27:03if you'd rather not.
27:03No,
27:04it was myself and Victoria,
27:12my fiancƩe.
27:14So I came here first on secondment,
27:16and when I realised I'd be here for longer,
27:19she decided to join me.
27:22But when she did,
27:23we both realised that we wanted different things.
27:26And what do you want?
27:30Sam.
27:30Felix.
27:31Have you spotted any...
27:34No,
27:35not yet.
27:36No.
27:37Rex!
27:38The very same.
27:40I just wanted to remind Livingston
27:41what he's playing for.
27:43Well,
27:44aren't you the most adorable,
27:47fluffy,
27:48obedient boy?
27:49Have you ever seen a finer creature?
27:52Let's hope Felix can give him
27:54the retirement he deserves.
28:01Lunch,
28:02sir.
28:07Sister?
28:09A search?
28:10Please,
28:11of course.
28:16Oh,
28:16get practising then.
28:19Rex is counting on you.
28:31You've never danced a tango?
28:38Not yet,
28:39but
28:40if you can tell me what to do.
28:42Okay.
28:43All right.
28:44It's all about finding the rhythm.
28:46Okay?
28:48Here?
28:49Yeah.
28:50Right.
28:50Okay.
28:51Okay.
28:52All right.
28:53Okay.
28:54I'm so sorry.
28:55Don't overthink.
28:58All right.
28:58Okay.
29:01That's it.
29:02Ah-ha.
29:03You're doing fine.
29:07So,
29:08no purple velvet
29:09in any of the dressing rooms?
29:11Perhaps the control room
29:12might prove more fruitful.
29:14Okay.
29:15All right.
29:16I dare say Felix
29:17is rather enjoying himself.
29:18Yeah.
29:19Okay.
29:24What is it?
29:26Uh,
29:27may I?
29:31I believe we've
29:33potentially found
29:34the source of our fibres.
29:40The additional checks
29:41we carried out
29:42show that
29:43your half-sister's
29:44Jodie,
29:45the glamorous assistant
29:46before Angela.
29:49Yeah.
29:50she and Freddie
29:55had a thing.
29:56Not that anyone knew.
30:00Then she got pregnant,
30:02had to leave the show.
30:05He made a promise
30:05not to tell anyone.
30:08He said that he'd look
30:10after them,
30:10but
30:10instead he just
30:12cut her off.
30:13she tried
30:15contacting him,
30:16but
30:16couldn't get anywhere,
30:19so
30:19I decided to
30:21drive for the show
30:23and
30:24talk to him
30:25in person.
30:27And that's the real
30:28reason you steered
30:29last night?
30:30I just wanted
30:31to chat with him.
30:33But
30:33when I went to
30:34his dressing room,
30:35he was already in there
30:35with someone else.
30:37So you sabotaged
30:38the bull?
30:39Avenged the way
30:39he treated Jodie?
30:41No,
30:42I'd never do that.
30:44Felix,
30:44tell him.
30:45We are comparing
30:46fibres that we found
30:47at the crime scene
30:47against your hair ribbon.
30:50If they match,
30:52the likelihood is
30:52you will be charged
30:53with the murder
30:54of Brad Hunter.
30:59I
30:59didn't
31:00do this.
31:03Please,
31:03you have to believe me.
31:05Felix!
31:12Well?
31:15We need confirmation
31:16from Sister Bonifast
31:17before we even
31:18consider charging her.
31:19So,
31:21technically,
31:22she can still play.
31:25Remember,
31:26Rexy Pooze?
31:29If she was to play,
31:31it would have to be
31:31under police supervision.
31:33Are you fine with that?
31:34Of course,
31:35he is.
31:36Right,
31:36I'll start the car.
31:38if you're not comfortable.
31:45She was just a contestant.
31:52So,
31:53this is it.
31:54The last ever challenge.
31:56Joanna all set
31:56for the States,
31:57then?
31:58Actually,
31:58she's staying here.
32:00She didn't fancy
32:01relocating.
32:02So,
32:03you're just going
32:03with Freddy?
32:04Yes,
32:05yes,
32:05we fly out tonight.
32:07That soon.
32:08They want to
32:08hit the ground running.
32:11I'm sorry
32:12you're both not coming.
32:14What about you,
32:14Anne?
32:15You got anything
32:15lined up after this?
32:16Not yet.
32:17My agent said
32:18people are always
32:18looking for pretty
32:19assistants.
32:20Yeah,
32:21that's not for you,
32:21though,
32:21is it?
32:22You want to be
32:22in front of the camera
32:23and not to the side.
32:25Even if that's true,
32:26it'll never happen.
32:27Don't be so sure.
32:29All you need
32:29is one opportunity.
32:30If you grab that,
32:31there's no stopping you.
32:35Well?
32:41I've run some TLC tests.
32:43The dye components
32:44in the fibres
32:45of the hair ribbon.
32:46Close,
32:47but not conclusive.
32:48Meaning?
32:49Well,
32:50they're not a match.
32:52So now what?
32:56And now
32:58it's our contestant's turn.
33:00And after this challenge,
33:01whilst one of the pairs
33:02will be going home,
33:03the other pair
33:04will take on
33:05the prized escalator.
33:07So,
33:08without further ado,
33:10let the games begin.
33:23You all right?
33:24Of course.
33:32Of course.
33:32Talk to me.
33:58You know I didn't do this.
34:01Felix!
34:01I am trying
34:03to concentrate.
34:06Maybe I wasn't
34:07completely honest.
34:09That's putting things
34:10mildly.
34:15Freddy?
34:15What do you want?
34:20What are you doing?
34:21So that's it, then?
34:31We just pretend like
34:32nothing's ever happened
34:32between us?
34:34I don't know
34:35what you mean.
34:37What I mean is
34:38I thought I was paired
34:40with someone
34:41I couldn't stand.
34:42But then I got to know
34:43the real you.
34:44help me
34:50for crying out loud.
34:52Malcolm,
34:52put the...
34:53Don't come any closer.
34:54back up.
34:55I don't know.
34:56I don't know.
34:57I don't know.
34:57He couldn't stand it.
34:58I don't know.
34:59What do you mean he to be
35:00the job?
35:30Where's Freddie?
35:44Wow. Now that is how you do the tangle.
35:47Though personally, I prefer ballet.
35:50More to the point.
35:52Though I did try tap dancing once.
35:55Kept falling in the sink.
36:00How did you know?
36:09We found purple velvet fibres at the crime scene.
36:13Then I recalled how you smoked.
36:15And the cigarette case you carry with its purple interior.
36:20Malcolm, can you...
36:22Malcolm, if this is about the reference, then I can...
36:25I'll call them. Or I can get you a better job.
36:27It's not about that. It's about him.
36:30It's about Archie.
36:33I know what happened on opportunity calls.
36:37Malcolm, what you said about Archie having stage fright that day,
36:42may we assume that Freddie had something to do with it?
36:46Last week, Archie called me.
36:49We hadn't spoken in years.
36:51Because he'd gone off the rails when we stopped doing the act.
36:54He was drinking himself into an early grave.
36:56But he said before he went, he wanted to tell me the truth.
36:59Well, perhaps you can tell us now.
37:01Put that thing down.
37:02The night before opportunity calls, all the acts went out for a drink.
37:05We were chatting.
37:06When we got onto the war, Archie never spoke about the war.
37:09But for some reason, that night he did.
37:12And he said that he was part of the rifle brigade.
37:15And I remember Freddie kept pushing, asking question after question.
37:20Because Archie was lying.
37:22And Freddie knew that because it was his infantry.
37:26But why would Archie lie?
37:29Because it turned out that he was a conchie.
37:32Which makes sense because he was a man that existed to make people smile.
37:35But Freddie knew what people would think.
37:39So he said to Archie to throw the performance or he'd tell the world the truth.
37:43That was his way of getting rid of the competition.
37:45Get back!
37:46No, no, no, no, no, no.
37:47Look, I know you're upset, but...
37:51I always thought you were the talented one.
37:53You know, I never thought he'd have even made it.
37:55We're not going to know now.
37:56Because you're swanning off to America and he's in a box in the ground.
38:00Malcolm.
38:01Why don't you...
38:03Why don't you tell us what happened last night?
38:05Well, I went to confront him and we argued about the job before,
38:09but that was nothing compared to this.
38:12Freddie?
38:13You're back.
38:15Like I said, it's my decision.
38:16I decide who stays, I decide who goes.
38:18My decision.
38:20Archie's dead.
38:23Who?
38:26Archie?
38:27Who I used to perform with?
38:28Oh, yeah.
38:30That loser who bottled it on live TV.
38:32I'm sure you'll struggle to find anyone who cares.
38:35Choo-choo.
38:57Look, I was so young. I was so stupid, Malk.
39:12If I could just take that back, then I...
39:14No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't, because you'd happily destroy anybody that gets in your way.
39:18And somebody's got to put a stop to that.
39:20Think about Archie.
39:22The person you described.
39:24He was someone who wanted to make others happy, for whom violence was never the answer.
39:33But what you did to him...
39:35I know, but I've also no doubt that if he could see you now, consumed by such hatred,
39:45you kill Freddy, that's all that you and Archie will be remembered for.
39:49And given who he was, and what he so strongly believed in,
39:54he wouldn't want this.
39:58Malcolm.
39:59Malcolm.
40:18Pathetic, eh?
40:20Losers stuck in the past like that.
40:22Still, we've got a plane to catch.
40:24No.
40:27No, we don't.
40:31You're not going to America, Freddy?
40:34Really?
40:36I'd best just go call Joanna.
40:38I'll save you the bother.
40:40I'm going to tell her everything, which means keeping the show here.
40:44Working on being the husband she deserves.
40:47Hey, Giles, let's not rush into any...
40:49Also, the move to America meant we never really need your UK contract.
40:55I think it's time for some new blood.
40:57No.
41:00What?
41:02Who could replace me?
41:06I think we've earned ourselves a drink.
41:08Oh, affirmative.
41:09Oh, but wait.
41:10Who made it to the prize escalator?
41:14There's been an arrest.
41:16Someone confessed.
41:16Look, I'm sorry about...
41:20Oh, I'm sorry.
41:22I wanted to be honest, but the more I got to know you, the more complicated things became.
41:28But now...
41:31If I'm being honest, after Victoria, I was sure I would never be able to do this again.
41:40Right.
41:40But after meeting you...
41:44I know I can.
41:47Just...
41:49Not yet.
41:56Right.
41:57You ready?
42:01An oil lamp.
42:04A fondue set?
42:05Yeah.
42:06A tea make-up?
42:07Um, a leather suitcase.
42:11Yeah.
42:12Oh!
42:13I can't believe it!
42:15Ha-ha!
42:16That's it!
42:17You've won our big cash prize!
42:21Congratulations!
42:23Although, as our series does come to an end...
42:26So does Freddie's time on the show.
42:27Because there's a new host in town.
42:29Me!
42:30So I'll see you next time when, once again, we'll let the games begin!
42:37Cut!
42:42Thank you, really splendid.
42:43Well, seeing as my bear was defective...
42:57A toast, if you please.
43:05Two, a colleague of mine.
43:09One who has never shied away from a challenge.
43:13One who is totally committed to this constabulary.
43:18And has taught...
43:19Even me...
43:22A thing or two about honour...
43:24And humility.
43:26So...
43:27Raise your glasses, please.
43:32Two wrecks!
43:33Two wrecks!
43:35Two wrecks!
43:35Two wrecks!
43:43Don't worry, I'm sure you're...
43:45Now, greats-dawn of police's...
43:47Second finest member.
43:48Mmm.
43:49Ho, ho, ho!
44:10Yeah?
44:11Hmm.
44:12Oh, oh, oh, oh.
44:18Transcription by CastingWords
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