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  • 2 days ago

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00:00Hi Michael, it's Max here, how are you?
00:04Oh yeah, not bad, how are you?
00:06Yeah, I'm fine thanks buddy, I'm fine.
00:08Are you feeling, don't mind me asking you, are you feeling okay?
00:11Yeah, why?
00:13You're not poorly or anything?
00:15No, mate, no.
00:17No, I was a bit concerned actually, because, well, it's a bit of a delicate, delicate subject this,
00:23but last night, well and the night before the last two nights,
00:28you know, I can hear someone, I'm assuming it's you, making incredibly loud farting noises.
00:38I know it's quite funny, but it's already funny.
00:45It's so loud that it's vibrating the walls, and it woke me up.
00:50Now, I don't know whether you've got some sort of problem, and also, how can I put this delicately,
00:55there's a foul odour coming, sort of seeping through the walls, semi-detached, you know,
01:01and your bedroom, it's not that funny, come on, we're not school kids, yeah?
01:06I was doing a shit.
01:09No, what, what, at three in the morning?
01:11Yeah.
01:12No, no, it's happened seven, it's happened about four times, you went to the new four times.
01:17Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've got, um, what do you call it, I've got diabetes, no, no, no, no, no, no, diarrhoea.
01:25You've got diarrhoea, well, I'm sorry to hear that, that's really bad, have you been to the doctors about it?
01:32Have you taken some Imodium?
01:34I've got a bad curry.
01:36You've got a curry?
01:37Well, yeah, I get, we all get, yeah, we all get a bit of gas with the curry,
01:40but listen, this was like an atomic bomb going off, and it happened three or four times,
01:44through the, through the early hours of the morning, and the stench was quite horrific,
01:48and I don't know how it's got through the walls, whether it's the air bricks or something,
01:52but it was really repulsive, and I'd, I'd like to, as a friend, as a neighbour, say, you know,
01:57go and get yourself sorted out, go and see your doctor, go to the chemist, try and separate it.
02:01No, no, buddy, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, buddy, I'm good.
02:04You can't be good because you're, you're, you're, you're farting for England, it's really bad.
02:10It might sound funny, but I, I don't mean to be rude, and I don't mean to make it funny,
02:16but it's really quite annoying, and it's quite upsetting for me, yeah?
02:20I mean, you wouldn't like it if I was doing the same to you, would you?
02:23You're upset about it, man.
02:25Sorry?
02:27Why are you upset for?
02:29Because it's horrible, it woke, it actually woke me up.
02:32Now listen, forget the smell side of it, it's the actual, the sound.
02:36It was like Concord breaking the sound barrier, it was that loud.
02:40Yeah?
02:41So, so, so, my farting is offending you?
02:46Well, yes, it was last night and the night before it was not, not just offending me so much, it was disturbing me.
02:52It was waking me up from my sleep, do you understand?
02:55It was like an earth, it was like an earthquake going off.
02:59Imagine that.
03:00Yeah.
03:017.5 on the Richter scale earthquake, I tell you, it was not loud.
03:05You're sorry?
03:09What?
03:10I'm sorry.
03:11So I'd suggest you lay off the curries for a week or two, yeah?
03:15Don't, don't, don't do that.
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