Married at First Sight UK Season 10 Episode 11

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Married at First Sight UK Season 10 Episode 11  #MarriedatFirstSightUK #RealityInsightHub  🎞 Please subscribe to our official channel to watch the full movie for free, as soon as possible. ❤️Reality Insight Hub❤️ 👉 Official Channel: https://www.dailymotion.com/TrailerBolt 👉 THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Transcript

00:00:00by rumors in the group who has decided to say i was talking about my sexual activity you did

00:00:04we were all there people starting to me off that that that that that that

00:00:12wow did he just say this

00:00:16tonight i'll get bored saying the same thing over and over again you keep saying that don't

00:00:20antagonize me then don't raise your voice at me nelly and stephen continue to clash idiot

00:00:25why am i liking someone who's treating you like this ahead of a tense we have hit

00:00:29an issue this week if this is the way it is i can't do this forever and emotional commitment

00:00:35ceremony my mindset really hasn't shifted that much sorry i've just got to jump in

00:00:41it's time to actually take responsibility this week has been awful it's been hell i don't know who you

00:00:48are oh they feel like weird oh they're sucky little suckies

00:01:06make me pretty paint me like one of your french girls

00:01:08yes i am it's the morning after an eventful dinner party here's your bro love

00:01:19so last night you know something was gonna kick off i could feel it in my bones just it's just

00:01:25when you hear chinese whispers all the time man it's all gonna come out in the end do you know what i

00:01:28mean yeah i'm not sorry for nelly to be fair i didn't expect stephen to sort of lose his rag to

00:01:34me what that proved last night though those two are so different like emotionally yeah

00:01:41didn't expect the whole night to be so focused on nelly and stephen

00:01:46i feel like it just kind of spiraled didn't it and then when all that kicked off and davani's wife

00:01:52he's having an argument with stephen and davani's just chilling next to me just like it was the whole

00:01:56thing was awkward if he just stood up i feel like that would have meant the world oh how are you

00:02:04feeling about last night it was intense mm-hmm therefore what i was talking about my sexual activity

00:02:11yeah you did no i was not at last night's dinner party julia ruth felt let down by her husband's

00:02:17actions davani maive you were there so what is it davani don't leave me hanging no seriously

00:02:24thank you i don't need anyone to like fight my battles i'll i can do that but i think if i'm

00:02:29calling your name i need you to step up and and be there yeah this way it is

00:02:37i knew i should have had your back at that moment in time and i take a full accountability for it

00:02:41it's just that he was yelling across the room and i just felt like no one was defending nelly and yeah

00:02:46i was looking for confirmation for me you're my husband it was wrong for me not stepping up and

00:02:52obviously being there for you it did feel bad going forward 100 i'm going to be there for any

00:02:58confrontation that takes place he said what he said he's apologized but there's no like place to

00:03:04hide with the commitment ceremonies and i think sometimes he likes to preach a big game but then

00:03:08the actions don't match today's decision is very important but i feel like it reflects the week that

00:03:13devani and i have had together there's a bit of a crazy one last night it was wasn't it i know

00:03:26last night's dinner party for me i could sense that there was an awkward energy in the room

00:03:31dean and i had our first argument i'd made a comment that dean didn't like so i am very nervous for the

00:03:38commitment ceremony i obviously didn't have a great time last week so i really just want to

00:03:43have a clean slate and just move on and not be in the firing line you know

00:03:50i have been making more of an effort i did throw myself into the intimacy workshop i have been

00:03:55trying i'm not just sort of like shying away from anything do you know what i mean you are genuinely

00:03:59such a lovely person you have got a heart of gold but i just think people don't understand

00:04:04they haven't seen that side of you yet obviously we had that blip the argument but we've dealt with

00:04:08that no it'll be it'll be it'll be fine you won't get shouted at tonight

00:04:19walking into the dinner party was slightly disappointed i thought we would perhaps come

00:04:24together why didn't you want to come to the dinner party with me that was me kind of taking a step back

00:04:32judge me after six eight ten weeks don't judge me after two weeks i'm at a point of my life now

00:04:38where i need to know where i stand i need to know you want the same thing time's precious

00:04:49anita and i have lots of positives the most important ones we have are the values manners respect

00:04:55understanding compassion for me that's a great foundation stone i'm hoping that that can be built on

00:05:02the only regret off yesterday was not actually arriving at the dinner party with paul i didn't

00:05:09want to give them the wrong impression i do adore paul he's a gentleman he pulls the chairs out he puts

00:05:18the chair in he's very attentive but he's never very clear on stuff paul will go around the houses

00:05:24and still come back with two answers i'm really unsure of where i stand your decision to go separately

00:05:32was disappointed when i look back i think that maybe if i just said we'll go together but i just panicked

00:05:42we had a good week we spent time together and i thought perhaps things were going in the right

00:05:51direction i can say some of the reasons why they've matched us but i'm a great believer in time's

00:05:58precious it's a 10-week experiment this is week two i take time don't i and i think it's always been

00:06:07abundant that you want to get there quicker yeah today's a massive decision all marriages are a work

00:06:17in progress i said all along that it takes me time to grow and perhaps time is something she will give me

00:06:27to find the love and compassion that's inside me

00:06:29today's commitment ceremony and my decision is very important i said i would put a hundred percent

00:06:38into the experiment and try and grow and see where the relationship goes to

00:06:47i've got lots to think about pros and cons of staying pros and cons of leaving

00:06:53the dad i really don't know what to do

00:07:02i feel good going into today i would have woke up feeling much better today if i knew i'd had a

00:07:07hot candle wax massage but you know today's a new day i'm hoping that like after the week we've

00:07:14had this week we can move forward in a positive way i was just knackered last night so we will do

00:07:21that this week everyone's gonna ask you the question did you give me massage it definitely

00:07:27hasn't been the smoothest week for lee and i i think physical intimacy does need to come it's important

00:07:32you know we're married you've got to commit to it you've got to do your homework lee at the end of the

00:07:37day that that whole situation with rebecca is well and truly put to bed i think we're definitely on the

00:07:42same page now yeah i hope so i've got feelings attached to this rebecca situation at the commitment

00:07:48ceremony i'm hoping to just speak about what certain feelings might mean or where they're coming

00:07:52from and just get some advice on how we can move forward maybe less pressure on the intimacy because

00:07:59i'm tired of hearing about it i'm gonna get asked loads of questions about 9.5 bae oh my god

00:08:109.5 oh you don't like that i just didn't think you would declare your love for me in that way your

00:08:17love jesus i'm looking forward to it i can't wait for tonight yeah me too i'm excited

00:08:28i'm a bit anxious about the equipment ceremony do speak with us she's been up and down he thinks i pick

00:08:34up on too much and i think he's oblivious to a lot of the things he says and how they come across

00:08:39i'm not looking forward to the kind of things that me and ash have to share with the experts

00:08:44what is it you are particularly scared of sharing with the experts today yeah it's intimacy based yeah

00:08:50that makes me anxious because i'm private i don't like the idea of having a very personal conversation

00:08:56quite publicly but i will have to on this occasion i think it's good that we're starting to speak we've

00:09:02got as far as we can take it and we do want help i think it's gonna help it's gonna make it better

00:09:07oh yeah yeah i think this is gonna be a really big commitment ceremony for grace and i she's been

00:09:14at me to not speak about the intimacy side but i think we've hit a stage now where i don't feel

00:09:19like we're moving forward so i'm gonna open up today with the experts

00:09:33last night's dinner party was very intense other people getting involved in lilly and i's relationship

00:09:39is something i always wanted to avoid but i think for me going into the commitment ceremony today

00:09:44i'm a little bit up in the air uh maybe when the pen hits the paper i'll actually make his decision then

00:09:50this week there's been way more downs and they've been ups i broke my rib and stephen stayed out

00:09:55until the very end of the night and was the last one to come home even though he said he's got making

00:10:00up to do and he's going to really work on that this week i still fear that he doesn't understand

00:10:05why i feel the way i do and it makes me feel really neglected

00:10:11where'd i start

00:10:16you were discussing your previous history on the day that you should have been at home with me

00:10:21when they started bringing up my dating history and who i may or may not have slept with before the

00:10:26experiment started is totally irrelevant to this it's adding more fuel to the fire but i think it's

00:10:31just why is he talking about that when he should be checking in on me why is that even relevant

00:10:37the girls have sat you down and said i'll just you know this is going around about steven but it's

00:10:40like back off that doesn't i don't think this conversation is going anywhere no shit it's going

00:10:47around in circles fuck me don't get mad at me oh am i getting mad at you i think it's going around

00:10:53and around in circles i'll get bored of saying the same thing over and over again but you keep saying

00:10:57because i have to say it don't raise your voice at me don't antagonize me then lilly simple as that

00:11:03really you're not a child you can handle your own emotions yeah i can handle my own emotions

00:11:06don't shout at me don't antagonize me lilly you're not a child you can don't call me don't say i'm not

00:11:12a child as well don't tell me not to antagonize you i'm not antagonizing you let's just not

00:11:16i'm not antagonizing anyone saying don't speak to me that way let's just don't speak to me that way

00:11:20okay let's just not talk oh sorry i said idiot that's what i said

00:11:38name calling is the nastiest thing ever here we go don't name call i think it's disgusting when

00:11:44people name call where is your empathy in this where are you thinking you know what nails poor

00:11:50girl has had a really rough week and then you've called me a idiot i got so rude that is a line that

00:11:59you i can't deal with it sucks i don't want to be here in this position i feel like a bit of a clown i

00:12:07feel like i should just go put some clown makeup on why am i liking someone who's treating me like this

00:12:11i don't think name calling me is making up to me hun it's not i think it's disgusting it's something

00:12:20that i'm never going to tolerate that is the first and last time you will speak to me like that

00:12:41so

00:13:04welcome to the second commitment ceremony

00:13:08we know this week has brought some of you closer and posed new challenges for others please put your

00:13:15trust in us and bring your true thoughts and feelings to the couch let's get started

00:13:24first up to the couch mave and joe

00:13:35hey hello this is very natural body language right here and also you know there's coordination

00:13:43going on it's a vibe it's my ideas yeah it actually is it makes us a team as well doesn't it everyone

00:13:48knows we're together so so you're a team yeah of course we're all yeah 100 i love it this week

00:13:55i came to your apartment yeah you did so this was ultimately about building self-worth and it was

00:14:03changing the script in your mind mave around not believing when someone tells you something positive

00:14:11yeah i actually don't know how to feel i get the compliment obviously it's nice to hear but like

00:14:17i actually don't know what to do after do you remember what i asked you to say in the exercise

00:14:24joe could even help you out i believe it i receive it and i thank you

00:14:34that's it yeah you believe it and you're appreciative that the compliment came

00:14:40and the more that you do this i promise you you will rewrite the script and it may take some time

00:14:46yeah because that negative script has been ingrained in you for so long

00:14:51like i'm actually starting to like believe what he's saying he said obviously that i make you feel

00:14:57more comfortable in social situations but then obviously like i believe that because how we opened

00:15:03up like yesterday at the dinner party like that was a massive thing for you to do yeah yeah yeah i was

00:15:08like so proud of him and i think like i don't want to speak on behalf of everyone but i do think

00:15:11everyone else is so proud of him for doing it yeah yeah yeah yeah you say that yay but this is why

00:15:18i feel the way i do about you because you just so you have my back so much and just

00:15:23that's why i feel so strongly about you because she's such a great person

00:15:27i've just found like oh god why am i crying it's okay

00:15:45i've just found the whole thing quite overwhelming just the whole process that's where she's just been

00:15:51such a solid rock for me she knows what i've been through in the past with like the the booze and

00:15:56what have you but she's just been so reliable and so strong for me she's literally got an art of

00:16:03gold so it's like that's why i'm getting emotional because i've never actually met someone that's so

00:16:10selfless in a relationship we just know we're there for each other when we need it

00:16:15but my song about though isn't it yeah having each other's back you've got it my sort of biggest

00:16:21worry in our relationship though is obviously with my past the drinking and the drugs and stuff like

00:16:28that she's very much likes to party yeah which is absolutely fine and i'd do it now and again but

00:16:34my biggest worry is that i don't want to be like the fun sponge yeah but you're not going to be i don't

00:16:39want to go out i'm choosing not to go out because i'd rather be with you yeah i think joe it's very

00:16:44important to hear what maeve is saying yeah what she's telling you is that she prefers to spend time

00:16:51with you because of you she's giving you a compliment it's very important for you to receive

00:16:59and believe what she is saying i've never had calm in my life there's always been drama constantly

00:17:07and when i'm with joe it's quiet it is me calm and that's all i've ever wanted i know it sounds silly

00:17:12but i like it it doesn't sound silly at all what is better than being able to spend time with

00:17:20someone that you feel safe with that gives you strength that is helping you to become a better

00:17:25person what's better than that i think you're amazing and i've been in love before

00:17:39and i've been trying to find love again and i genuinely think i'm well i have fallen in love with you

00:17:46i can't tell you how much you actually mean to me i just honestly like i've never met anyone like it

00:18:12ever and no i'm not do you know what it is yeah i do with you too

00:18:21oh my god

00:18:22i think we should just get right to a decision all right yeah this is a pretty obvious answer

00:18:40you know the way i feel about you

00:18:43i do love you and i honestly can't wait to see what the rest of this process and hopefully beyond

00:18:51has in store for us so it's stay

00:18:59maive

00:19:00i just honestly want to say like thank you for everything each day i'm learning something new

00:19:05about myself and honestly like i can't tell you how much i actually appreciate it

00:19:10so um i'm staying

00:19:20we've seen incredible growth between the two of you we're so incredibly proud of you

00:19:25thank you so much

00:19:30oh you're a nerd

00:19:36i know what the book

00:19:38next up julia ruth and davani

00:19:50hello hello you two welcome

00:19:58all right how are you both feeling feeling good yeah yeah yeah

00:20:08now i know you had the values ranking experience this week yeah so why don't you help us understand

00:20:14what happened there um should i go first or yeah go for it obviously the values was quite different

00:20:20so for me i put children first and then i put sex eight and then i put looks nine

00:20:26so we did differ in those three categories the children part made sense for us in terms of johnny

00:20:33your kid is everything of course that make much sense but i think the bulk of it which was concerning

00:20:37or a challenge for us was that you were saying work occupation money was something you valued way more

00:20:45than like sex and looks i just was confused as to why it was that low i didn't believe it 100

00:20:53if i'm honest what do you say to that davani when i went into this challenge 100 i did it all

00:20:59authentically and that's what made sense to me are we saying here that as a couple

00:21:06one of you puts a high priority on attraction and sex and the other doesn't or that you just

00:21:15prioritize them differently i think just prioritize them differently like what i said after the challenge

00:21:22it was like it's beautiful that we didn't match in every of the categories so even if sex was low

00:21:28it doesn't mean that i don't prioritize that you know i mean i just feel like it's just something that

00:21:32it's just going to be a day-by-day situation but i don't think that the values that was obviously

00:21:36presented was going to be a deal break and i don't think it will be

00:21:42so these activities are really a great starting point for some really good conversation about what are our

00:21:48priorities in life where are the similarities and where are the differences and i guess that's how

00:21:53you now bring that into your relationship i feel like we've asked each other questions we challenge

00:21:58each other on where we've sat things i feel like we've been trying our best in terms of that so aside

00:22:04from the challenges around differing values we also saw at the dinner party last night some conflict

00:22:09that you had with steven and your sense that davani wasn't really there having your back

00:22:17i mean she's a tough cookie and i'll like always fight my battles and that but i think if i'm saying

00:22:24davani i'm calling your name and then you don't step up and you're just sitting quietly it was a bit

00:22:29disappointing to not have your support there because you were there but nothing and i just got left to

00:22:35hang out dry by myself yeah i don't ask for help and i just felt like i was me calling for my husband

00:22:43and you didn't say anything i don't know i felt really exposed and vulnerable just kind of let it

00:22:49down so what stopped you davani from supporting her in that moment i think i just felt like i didn't

00:22:55want to feel the fire um but uh generally i would do stand up but you didn't no and it's had an impact on

00:23:03your wife if you had your time over what would you do differently definitely stand up and then

00:23:12i'll comfort her to obviously know that i've got her back yeah so just some sort of like acknowledgement

00:23:18or get up and come to me or just something it's not about getting involved in conflict it's about

00:23:25giving your wife your support there are clearly some issues for the two of you around values there was

00:23:31a sense that perhaps you weren't quite getting to that point of reading each other and listening

00:23:36and maybe understanding what each other was needing whether that's the importance of sex or support in

00:23:41an argument it's about talking and communication we're going to go to a decision davani we'll start

00:23:49with you today okay obviously we had a little hiccup yesterday every relationship has to go through

00:23:54conflicts um i'm not ready to throw in the towel yet i'm very excited to build that emotional

00:24:01connection and i know that we will get there and so my final decision is to stay

00:24:11julie ruth and i feel like the values tasks shed a lot of light on our relationship

00:24:18and i just want to keep having some of those tougher conversations hopefully there's no more conflict

00:24:23in future so just stay lovely lovely thank you guys hope you have a great week thank you thank you

00:24:37thank you thank you next up on the couch sarah indeed

00:24:56hello hello good to see the two of you guys you too as well so guys how has your week been i mean the

00:25:04intimacy workshop with yourself we went in with an open mind because that was one of the things that

00:25:09we we have been struggling with is the intimacy side but i have to say since then we are still

00:25:15taking baby steps but we've been like holding hands like cuddling just taking it slow i think

00:25:21there's a big pressure build up because we had done nothing so you know it's kind of good to have that

00:25:25works because that just popped that bubble like oh it is okay like it's my wife of course i can like

00:25:28touch if i want to you know it's kind of nice to kind of get that we did have a bump

00:25:34in the road yeah first argument what are we referring to um we all went for drinks

00:25:41kind of come back to our apartments there was a producer there as well and then there's a

00:25:47black comment made yeah it was a silly comment that i made and he isn't into women so it's not

00:25:52as if it was then you know it was silly and what was the comment sarah that i found him attractive

00:25:58basically that you found the producer yeah okay and was that said in the presence of dean yeah yeah

00:26:04it was just a comment that i made it was kind of just joking yeah and then we'd gone upstairs and

00:26:10dean had sort of said you know yeah you weren't happy and i get it when i heard her say that i was

00:26:16like damn is she ever gonna say that about me and it kind of just triggered something to me yeah i was

00:26:21like i don't think i can do this because i don't know if you're ever going to feel that way

00:26:26it's like jesus like what am i doing here like i just want to hear that said to me you know from my

00:26:31wife it has made us stronger though do you not think

00:26:35kind of has because it was our first argument i think what you have to be careful of is to not

00:26:45take the blame for something that someone else has done yeah yeah no definitely i've said that

00:26:51don't forget or diminish your feelings and all this it's okay to feel hurt and express that just

00:26:56say tell me say don't pretend that you're okay all the time i'd rather you said

00:27:01do you know what i mean yeah i think what we'd all rather hear sarah to be totally honest is that

00:27:06you stop doing it yeah i will yeah absolutely okay you know you've said something disrespectful

00:27:12you've apologized you've said something disrespectful you've apologized it's time to actually take

00:27:18responsibility yeah 100 yeah and to not just say you've got the hots for some guy you know that's

00:27:25very immature sort of 15 year old behavior you're an adult and you're in a serious relationship here

00:27:31there's a lot at stake

00:27:48it's time to actually take responsibility 100 yeah and to not just say you've got the hots for some guy

00:27:55you know that's very immature sort of 15 year old behavior you're an adult and you're in a serious

00:28:01relationship here there's a lot at stake

00:28:08i completely agree and i take full responsibility and put my hands up

00:28:12and i am so sorry i really am i just need to know why i am behaving like this because

00:28:18before coming here i was this ball of sunshine and i just i feel like since i've come here i've

00:28:23sort of lost that and i don't know why because i'm not a disrespectful person and i don't like the way

00:28:29that i'm behaving i don't what we're saying is just be a bit more mindful you know you are in a

00:28:35relationship and i wonder if part of the reason you're able to say some of these things is maybe

00:28:43dean because you're not putting those boundaries in place to say this isn't acceptable behavior

00:28:48it's about for you dean to say these are my boundaries i will not tolerate this and for

00:28:54you sarah to actually do it yeah he needs to see that yeah

00:28:59let's go to the decisions dean we have improved but then i did have that fear of if we're going

00:29:08nowhere why would i stay am i going to leave am i going to run i'm here to find out about me as

00:29:15well as find out about us so i think i get to myself as well as us as a couple to keep pushing forward

00:29:21so i've decided to stay yeah i think the absolute world of you i think you're an absolute gem

00:29:35i apologize again for my actions and behavior i am learning so much about myself this obviously

00:29:41is a really intense process and i'm gonna give this week my everything and i want to continue to

00:29:48see how it goes and so i am also going to stay thank you thank you well i'd really like you

00:29:56guys to take from this sarah i think just be a bit more mindful about what you're saying and dean

00:30:02it's okay to say this is how i want you to treat me and this is not acceptable and i think it's

00:30:07important for you to kind of practice that i know it's something i need to work on yeah thanks guys

00:30:18next up kia and david

00:30:30you're even walking in unison this is a good sign right yeah definitely fabulous we're really good

00:30:39yeah so tell me how it was expert week for you you had the challenge of ask me anything it was good i

00:30:45think it was questions that we don't ask each other every day i think the things he said they

00:30:50were very positive because there was things that i would like to change about myself as well what are

00:30:54some of those things how much you get in your head yep um your confidence on your own appearance like

00:31:01if you can see yourself through my eyes yeah because i don't see myself as other people see me

00:31:08i still see myself as the person that was um disregarded or wasn't good enough but he makes me feel

00:31:20good and wanted and enough he does that for me very well one thing that i see the two of you do

00:31:26amazingly is hold eye contact yeah because it's my anchor and i always tell him if you feel like you're

00:31:31losing yourself find me and we do that we find each other beautiful i feel like i know the answers

00:31:38to this already but how has intimacy progressed in your relationship i don't know what you're talking

00:31:43about i'm a virgin you don't touch one another no just we're not for it no lights out dark read the

00:31:51blend i am loving this bond i think this is the right time to go to the decisions sure kia first

00:32:04so uh every single day with this man is an absolute joy i honestly feel like i've known him my whole life

00:32:12it's insane like it's hard to put into words how i actually feel about you because

00:32:16i've just i've never felt like this about anyone so just thank you for being you and because of that

00:32:23my decision is to stay

00:32:35david um i haven't felt this safe with anyone i have no fears with you anything is just easy even

00:32:44standing in front of you three and i just want to keep growing and as long as you want me i will

00:32:52choose to stay sorry all the best for the rest of the week good luck guys well done youtube

00:33:14next up grace and ashley

00:33:31right away the first thing that i see is ashley where is your right hand right now

00:33:38i'm not touching technically but he does and it's we're good we're like well yeah we're warming up

00:33:45sometimes we're good sometimes it's not really changed so you're saying there's been no improvement

00:33:50with physical intimacy it's just still that judgment of can i can't i there's still that doubt there's no

00:33:57set of rules so it's extremely hard for me to kind of navigate as to when it is okay or when it isn't okay

00:34:04i feel differently i feel like you just do it and if i'm not feeling it i just say that's my

00:34:10interpretation of how it is but then we are having intimate moments like i can go from that

00:34:14to then not being able to touch you and it's it's confusing

00:34:19i would love to keep it completely private in-house lock the door seal it up between us but we have

00:34:28hit issues an issue this week that i know we're not going to navigate just between us i know that

00:34:35we're going to need help with so we are going to have to speak about intimacy i didn't want it being

00:34:41displayed and picked over and you know bits of it being gossiped about here there and everywhere but yeah

00:34:45we we yeah we we are we i do need to speak about that you tell the story because obviously you feel

00:34:52a bit more thing about it you you tell the story of what you want to do and then if there's anything

00:34:55that i want to add to the end i can add to show sort of my side of it okay so earlier in the week ash is

00:35:04super generous we go for a lovely date ash picks up the bill it's so lovely somewhere between him being

00:35:12really generous picking up the bill and walking home i developed this anxiety that i have to keep

00:35:18ash sweet by being affectionate grace help us understand this can we just clarify the anxiety

00:35:24of what is the expectation this means that i have to give you sex yeah i just developed this anxiety

00:35:33we then did another date we saw a show we had the most amazing dinner it was such a good night ash very

00:35:39generously picks up the tab again it's just so hard i don't want to do this you've got to

00:35:46they're not going to move forward otherwise okay we had spoken about like a contraceptive

00:35:56that we might consider using at some point

00:36:00i said maybe we should look if they have it we bought a contraceptive

00:36:05we walk back i go to bed ash what about me after the day we've had you should want to

00:36:20but that anxiety about the grand gesture and the sort of transactional nature

00:36:24kind of play true

00:36:28can i say something yeah we went on this really nice meal i went to this show i wasn't thinking

00:36:33about sex or anything i'm just like i didn't do that to have sex with grace i'd done it because

00:36:38it was something nice to do for her you took me to get contraceptive i thought the date had gone well

00:36:44so i'm annoyed at myself for getting frustrated but i couldn't help it thank you for your

00:36:52vulnerability in sharing that grace and also you ashley so i want to take this notion of feeling

00:37:00obligated grace what about your experience makes you feel as if a gesture means you having to cross

00:37:10a boundary of yours i don't know i i'm just cautious like am i always going to be beholden to being

00:37:16affectionate to you will it always depend on my affection will your mood always depend on that

00:37:22i constantly feel like you're looking for that bad thing in me it's like we went out to get a pizza

00:37:28and we were really flirty and touchy and holding hands cuddling like little pecs things like that we

00:37:32went back to the apartments put the pizza in and then i picked grace up and put her on the counter

00:37:37while i was doing the pizza and i was kind of between grace's legs and she was rubbing her nose

00:37:41in my face can you stop you're actually embarrassing you know this is embarrassing where it is going

00:37:47but she was like rubbing her nose in my face and it was quite intimate and then i went for a kiss and

00:37:50she went no no i'm not doing it so it was like for what felt like an intimate moment for me was then

00:37:57not right for grace which i understand and i'm i'm being respectful of but i've done a grand gesture and

00:38:02you said it makes you feel uncomfortable can't do physical touch because that makes you feel

00:38:06uncomfortable you keep saying i can't do physical touch you do do physical touch there is so much

00:38:11physical touch and it's insulting when you say i can't do it i never get to do it it's just so

00:38:15confusing i'm not saying that grace you're putting words in my mouth did anyone else hear it i'm hearing

00:38:22it all the time

00:38:35you keep saying i can't do physical touch you do do physical touch there is so much physical touch

00:38:41and it's insulting when you say i can't do it i never get to do it it's just so confusing not saying

00:38:45that grace you're putting words in my mouth did anyone else hear it i'm hearing it all the time

00:38:53you did just say you can't do it yeah i'm not saying all the time i can't really do much more

00:38:58to prove to you i'm not the person you you're trying to find sometimes i feel like what ash brings

00:39:03to the group is not a reflection of what's really happening it's like an edited version with the nails

00:39:08thing like it i wouldn't have reacted if i should said it in a particular way but in the retelling of

00:39:14it it's always more favorable to ash in in my opinion can you clarify the nail thing i'd love to

00:39:22there was a comment about something i was wearing you look nice haven't you got a dress you can put

00:39:27on or put on a dress for me and i was like let that go like that's all right can i see what that

00:39:32was from my side well yeah do you mind if i finish sorry yeah of course then the nails

00:39:39where in bed he sees that my nails have overgrown he's like i like these done like keep these up

00:39:46so i just said no one tells me how to dress how to look how to be like i'll i'll do that a couple of

00:39:53days later the same comment haven't you got a dress you can wear there was only the one comment with

00:39:58a dress it was it was it was not it was okay it comes up again and and because we'd already had

00:40:04a conversation i thought we'd settled it with the nails i said not this again and just like but don't

00:40:10you want to wear a dress like don't don't you want like isn't it wouldn't you want to do it for me

00:40:14i don't understand where that i've never said that so you're saying about me making up wouldn't you

00:40:18want to wear a dress for me i would never say that but i thought that was part of the conversation

00:40:22like why don't why does it bother you so i i booked the dates and i knew where we were going i knew we were

00:40:27going to fancy restaurants it was a surprise for grace she put an outfit on i said you look amazing

00:40:32but i know like have you got a dress to put on because i know where we're going that's that was

00:40:36what it was i'm not telling you what to wear and the nails thing i meant like do you want to get your

00:40:41nails done as a treat i'm not telling you what to do i'm i'm trying really okay you're you're trying

00:40:47and i give you an a for trying but i'm going to give you a c for execution okay so now you know it

00:40:55wasn't received well 100 but you know what your intention was yeah so what we're talking about

00:41:01right now is the difference between impact and intention so my question is how can you rephrase

00:41:07that to include your intent i'm not really sure to be honest paul like thinking about it on the spot

00:41:15now so it started off for me i would like to um treat you to get your nails done to show that i

00:41:20care about you reframing as a question but also ensuring that you outline your intent i think this

00:41:31is incredibly important because what i hear you saying grace is that you have this anxiety around

00:41:37what is the intention but instead if it is here's what i'd like to offer because i want to show you

00:41:44how much i care for you is that fair grace is about understanding what your triggers are what

00:41:51makes you feel comfortable you know having that open communication and really building that trust

00:41:57like paul said there's something there about intent because actually if grace can hear that the

00:42:03intention isn't to control or to want any sex or affection but it's just a kind act i suspect her

00:42:11response will be more positive but it does require open communications and patience as well

00:42:19yeah i'll work i will work on it and i appreciate it so then actually i would ask you what do you

00:42:24believe grace could do to help you i'm not really sure anymore because i'm i'm struggling with the fact

00:42:31that if if this is the way it is i i can't do this forever i'm truly trying my utmost to make this work

00:42:40and i feel like i'm always hitting this wall here's what i would love you to do ashley your homework

00:42:48is always include your intention okay grace here's what i would love for you to do have you ever heard

00:42:55of the magic ratio hit me with the magic the magic ratio every time something happens in your

00:43:01relationship where it's challenged you want to make sure that there's at least five positive

00:43:06affirmations you don't have to calculate it five to one but just think about how every day you are

00:43:13continuing to provide these positive affirmations to your partner because once he receives that he'll

00:43:21know she's in it and that's going to give him the fuel to continue to fight for the relationship now

00:43:29you should be doing the same thing ash and then you end up building a stronger relationship

00:43:34okay grace how do you feel right now in this moment i feel i do feel a bit frustrated almost because

00:43:47it always comes back to like like ashley makes all the effort

00:43:51yeah i feel like even coming into this ash was like i'll let you lead like i'll let you

00:44:01and then i just feel like ash just somehow managed to make it about me being the problem again

00:44:06but i do feel that there's potential when we're good it is good we are moving forward it's it's two

00:44:14steps forward one step back so i think if we keep going and we keep working at it hopefully it'll just

00:44:20connect we've got to work at it it's just hard it is incredibly hard and now i'm going to ask you

00:44:28to do something even harder and that is to make a decision okay i thought you were going to say kiss

00:44:37see if it works look at that look how you snapped into that no it can be fun it definitely can

00:44:43it can be it can be fun yeah if we can go with ashley first so i'm sorry and i'm annoyed at myself

00:44:52for getting frustrated i am giving this everything i have from the very beginning i've said i would

00:44:57when it's good it's absolutely amazing and i'm really happy i genuinely believe if we can get

00:45:02over this we're going to be the strongest couple because i think we're dealing with so many things

00:45:06that it'll make us from strength to strength i'm in it as long as you are and i'm really willing to

00:45:11work at it so i said to stay grace

00:45:23this is really hard i'm sorry if it feels like i don't appreciate you

00:45:34i came here for a marriage i'm committed i really want to make this work so

00:45:39stay what's that under nail polish of course it's nail polish of course all right thank you so much

00:45:54for your honesty and your vulnerability thank you thank you very much next up to the couch

00:46:13rebecca and bailey hello everyone hello hello to see the two of you you too tell me how your week has

00:46:27been yeah another good week for us we had our little task which was x-files it was nice to open up a bit

00:46:35more i think it brought out a vulnerable side from us both i learned a bit about you and she does wear

00:46:41her harness sleep and she's an emotional girl those are all good qualities so i came out of it in a

00:46:46better place i think just happier just hearing a bit more of that deeper side opening up being

00:46:51comfortable to talk about anything and everything is an important part of a relationship so i would

00:46:56definitely say that it helped yeah it felt great to connect with him on a deeper level

00:47:02we did get into have we broken people's hearts before and how we feel about that now so i think

00:47:07when you talk on a deeper level with someone especially when you share like an emotional

00:47:11conversation of course it's going to bring us closer there was no conflict around that we were

00:47:16just talking on a really vulnerable level and came up the other end closer yeah what i'm seeing

00:47:22here is that this is a phenomenal relationship there has been no conflict

00:47:26there was a scale that you were given on a scale of one to ten

00:47:34uh no i don't know what you're all about was it bailey i don't remember scale from one to ten ten being

00:47:40love love and bailey for you it was a 9.5

00:47:49i don't know what the 0.5 is about i feel like it's a bit of me second guessing myself

00:47:54so i probably feel like even though i liked my answer i probably wasn't being true with myself

00:48:02because the feeling is there and i do

00:48:06love you so yeah it is a 10 and i don't know i i do love you i'm in love with you yeah so

00:48:15that's so lovely to hear and rebecca how is that for you to hear it's so nice like i can't imagine

00:48:30my life without bailey and i know that he might be more vocal when it comes to the love stuff and it

00:48:38feels a little bit soon for me to declare that right now but i feel so deeply for him

00:48:46i barely knows how you know how i feel about you for sure yeah i didn't try to get it back and like

00:48:52you can go on your own time but i wanted to say i had to say it so yeah lovely i've got a nice warm

00:49:00fuzzy feeling right now so this is good yay so let's go to a decision bailey if we can start

00:49:08with me first you have all the qualities that i was looking for in a wife and so many more that

00:49:14i didn't even realize that i kind of needed so really loving spending time with you loving to get

00:49:19to know you and yeah can't wait for this journey to carry on so it is a resounding stay for the love

00:49:27part oh let me see oh that's cute yeah that's cute that's lovely that's lovely um i'm so happy with

00:49:36what you've said to me um and you know that i feel really really strong feelings for you and you

00:49:42make life just light and fun and yeah you're just an amazing person so 100 million percent stay

00:49:52i'm really excited to see where this relationship goes thank you wish you all the best for the rest

00:49:56of the week thank you we'll see you next week well done guys well done baby thank you

00:50:13next couple up on the couch anita and paul

00:50:17hello hi welcome when we last saw you on the couch anita you said leave and it was all about

00:50:32feeling that paul could be doing more to listen to you how have things gone this week um had your

00:50:40challenge that kind of opened the doors for paul to ask more questions anita did you feel that he

00:50:50was asking you questions that was helping him to get to know you better

00:50:55not really nothing of the deep kind of stuff what did he ask you about paul asked do you have the

00:51:04time and the patience to wait for me and i answered well how long is a piece of string

00:51:14okay paul can you tell us a bit more about that from my perspective

00:51:19time makes all the difference to grow a bond

00:51:22it takes me a long time my foundation is trust respect values and then i build

00:51:32from then and anita has emphasized she doesn't have that time well really nobody does in this

00:51:38experiment you know this this is a fast-tracked process i feel like i've made an effort but when i

00:51:45got to affairs of the heart there's not been a lot of depth i sidetracked it slightly shall we say

00:51:55you've sidetracked it i think so yeah i think i have to be honest with myself yeah i think i

00:52:00should have considered that i would have had to be quicker in being emotionally vulnerable paul when

00:52:08you were starting to come into the experiment you were quite clear that you were ready for love so

00:52:14i'm wondering what changed for you maybe wasn't brave enough

00:52:23fear of opening up being in a vulnerable space it's kind of alien to me because it's always ended

00:52:30the failure hence why i'm sitting on the sofa so anita how's all of this landing for you

00:52:38disappointed the outside is great and i can see why we've been paired and matched up but like

00:52:48an he's like a a huge onion he's got loads of layers to him and the deeper layers we are just on two

00:52:57totally different pages yeah i'm ready that's why i'm here i don't think truly paul has actually been ready

00:53:07me paul and i are good friends but that's not what i came for i came looking for love and

00:53:23yeah yeah that's a very uh observant comment i think you came to find love and i came to find myself

00:53:32i'm gonna go to a decision anita to you first i know i said i was a bowler last week and i took your

00:53:44advice on board spent more time with paul but i'm still not convinced

00:53:50we can get on the same path um i think the world of paul i really do genuinely from the bottom of my heart

00:54:00my mindset really hasn't shifted that much so

00:54:28i've decided to leave

00:54:40and to you paul oh my turn yeah um it's with

00:54:46great understanding great respect back to the golf course leave

00:55:02you certainly look like a couple of people who have a lovely friendship

00:55:09yeah 100 percent i enjoy the company she could go we are obviously the three of us

00:55:15very disappointed for both of you that you didn't find what you're looking for here but

00:55:20we are certainly buoyed by the thought that you both learned a thing or two about yourselves that

00:55:24hopefully can now take back into the world and hopefully into future relationships knowing more

00:55:30about what you want and what you don't want for sure so thank you so much for all your honesty and

00:55:34openness thank you thank you thank you

00:55:43came here for a wife i came here for love that was the intention

00:55:47all right i think from anita's perspective it needs to be instant

00:55:52i just wanted time to find that love i wish i could be able to get vulnerable much quicker

00:56:01my pace was a bit slower my emotion was not very deep and i have to take responsibility for that

00:56:22next up to the couch

00:56:30lee and leah

00:56:37hello hello good to see you both good to see you how are you wobbly week wonky wobbly week a wonky

00:56:47wobbly week yeah yeah all right so where i would love to begin is when you heard this one was

00:56:54coming oh no we definitely need it and i was excited for it i just didn't know what was to expect

00:57:00yeah well i won't expecting the table of sex toys put it that way we took a handful of stuff i would

00:57:06like to have done the wax candle thing which is pinky promise i did pinky promise that we do it last

00:57:11night but i'll be honest it was a really long day and we're both tired by the time i was the best time

00:57:16for me to get him i felt like i could have had the massage okay another thing i've done wrong then

00:57:24what was the intention of taking the sex toys to maybe go the next step or like see what happens with

00:57:32them was that your intention lee i wasn't massively thinking oh my god can't wait to get into bed and

00:57:38use all these later being that we're not even at that base yet me and leah i've kissed a few times

00:57:44but i think we've got a lot to come before we even get to that point what's holding you back um

00:57:52there's been this huge light shone on mine and leah's intimacy and when this pressure has come in

00:58:01it just kind of feels a bit like can we just like appreciate all of the good that we do have

00:58:07for a second and not you know shine this light on the little bits that are missing and that will come

00:58:12naturally because the intimacy on a physical level could come when we deepen that emotional connection

00:58:18so let's go to something else that i saw creep up that you lee were voicing concern with regard to

00:58:30an interaction that you thought leah and rebecca had there was a moment where i felt leah was being

00:58:36over familiar with rebecca i mean now we've realized in a way it was quite positive because there's

00:58:41obviously feelings there otherwise i wouldn't have reacted that way okay have you investigated those

00:58:47feelings i have tried to i've been with people in the past that have been overly flirty and

00:58:54disrespectful in front of my face so i'll take that there was part of that that was a trigger for me

00:58:58from my past but i wouldn't feel this way about a friend i wouldn't feel those feelings of jealousy i

00:59:05wouldn't you know be bothered when we're arguing and get my back up and get argumentative in the moment

00:59:11because if i didn't care to that degree i wouldn't do that so i've identified that there are feelings

00:59:17there so for me that's positive you have this feeling of jealousy what is the fear of that

00:59:25feeling like not being enough because i've had that in the past but so if you have those fears what's the

00:59:31desire to be enough and to be respected not for you just to be enough but for your partner to exhibit

00:59:40that you are enough yeah that's what you want yeah you want to make sure leah feels like you are enough

00:59:48personally like it's nice to know that shaz got feeling in there she doesn't say things like that a

00:59:54lot you know lee leah adores you and she wants to be affirmed yeah an affirm could be i do like you i do

01:00:06care about you it could be a hug it could be whatever it may be but the key is that you're

01:00:10consistently affirming your partner yeah i'll make more of an effort i feel like i do that with you

01:00:15quite a lot yeah you do but moving forward and i accept that that's important to you and i will

01:00:21make an effort to do that okay let's go to a decision lee it's been a wobbly week yeah it's been a

01:00:28wobbly week although it's been difficult i think it's become so much more apparent that there definitely is

01:00:34something there so yeah i want to continue to see where it goes and i want to discover more levels

01:00:41of you and us so i chose to stay i think for me i do believe there's definitely something there i've

01:00:55taken the arguments really positively because it's shown that you have got some kind of feeling there

01:01:01so i wrote stay wonderful let's take the pressure off the physical intimacy and let's work on

01:01:15building the emotional intimacy yeah i'd love that all right does that sound fair yeah all right this is

01:01:22good thank you thank you our next couple on the couch tonight nelly and stephen

01:01:38hello you two

01:01:52well last night's dinner party was rough for you guys and certainly just looking at the two of

01:02:02you now it's looking pretty frosty so what has transpired in the last 24 hours um so we had the

01:02:14dinner party last night there was a lot of opinions in the room which i really appreciated because i feel

01:02:19like i needed my support system to vocalize how i was feeling when we got home we said we weren't going

01:02:23to talk about it but i just said to him please if i ever talk about my feelings just hear me and listen

01:02:29to me and he said yeah and he would and then this morning we were talking and then

01:02:35it turned into an argument which ended with stephen calling me a idiot

01:02:46i allowed frustrations to get better at me i didn't mean it directed at you i mean it's just the whole

01:02:51situation is just idiotic to me like everything that's led up to it this week is just it'd been so

01:02:57frustrating and saying going around in circles i didn't sorry can i just be clear did you call

01:03:02the situation an idiot or nelly i meant to say the whole situation for me he said you're a

01:03:08fucking idiot i was trying to like word out that the whole situation is idiotic to me but what you

01:03:15actually fucking idiot yeah yeah and that's just how it come out it's not just how it came out

01:03:23it's how you chose to say it you're a grown man in control of the words that come out of your mouth

01:03:35you said you're a fucking idiot yeah and i said like i was trying to

01:03:49kind of like word out that the whole situation is idiotic to me but what you actually said

01:03:53idiot yeah yeah and that's just how it come out

01:03:58it's not just how it came out it's how you chose to say it

01:04:02you're a grown man in control of the words that come out of your mouth

01:04:08is this something that's new for you coming out with a bit of an outburst like this or is that a

01:04:13pattern you've noticed in yourself totally new to me i'm a very calm character i'm a very cool

01:04:19character i find it very hard to actually lose my rag and the reason obviously for that which

01:04:26i've opened up to nearly a few bits about obviously my attack when i was 20

01:04:30and i found it very hard then to lose my temper with people for many many years i felt broken because

01:04:39i can't feel those emotions okay i can see what's happening here you've had trauma and you bring

01:04:46that into the relationship and that counts to a point but it doesn't excuse it because the bottom

01:04:55line here is you said something that's really hurt nelly are you understanding the impact of your words

01:05:04and behavior this week on nelly yeah absolutely i think this week my marriage hadn't been a priority

01:05:11getting the news my stepdad who's basically raised me is in hospital so for me

01:05:24okay

01:05:27so for me this week i've just not been able to think of the marriage

01:05:34when you've potentially broke like broken your rib i didn't come home because i was with the guys

01:05:39that was my outlet are you saying then that the events of this week and the way that you've responded

01:05:47are purely a function of you having a lot of stress in your life outside of the experiment

01:05:53a million percent is our character for me certainly surprising to us and it's been really hard to watch

01:05:59this week um and now you know seeing how much pain you're in i think it does help us understand a

01:06:06little bit you know this is not the stephen that we know and nelly you're probably thinking this is

01:06:11not the man i married yeah i think i'm just thinking well which one are you is this you

01:06:17because if it is and we can shake hands and we can go we can split from here or are you the stephen on

01:06:23the honeymoon because we were so happy my concern here is that stephen your behavior this week has

01:06:29fed into nelly's existing insecurities yeah is that right yeah it is i just feel like um

01:06:39i don't know whether i can open up like how we i was on the honeymoon because i did and i feel like

01:06:46i've got burned so it's the same story what's the point this week has been awful it's been hell

01:06:54just i don't know who you are steven you're the one with the answers here

01:07:01it is that stress what you saw on the honeymoon what you saw on the wedding day that's me it's been so

01:07:07long since i've actually met someone who i've connected with and vibed with to the point where

01:07:12i'm like oh this is a great feeling i've not heard that before i know because i'm allowing myself to be

01:07:20vulnerable and emotional for a change thank you this is not something i'm used to nelly i'm curious

01:07:25about what you need from steven to start to feel that things are back on track i just need the words

01:07:32that he said this week he needs to put them into action i just need to feel like you care

01:07:37it's very clear that this week steven through your actions you've communicated to nelly that you

01:07:46don't care how do you actually feel about her

01:07:53i like you i really like you and of course my actions this week would suggest otherwise but the

01:07:58like is there because i wouldn't be here like this is real i'm in it i would love to be on that path of

01:08:05like the love that's what i'm here for i'm still willing to fight for this because that honeymoon

01:08:09thing that we had that's me that's us this week is not me it's not us

01:08:16with that we're going to go to a decision and we're going to start with steven so for me

01:08:28as hard as this the week has been emotionally after this morning i thought i'd push nelly back even

01:08:35further because of me being an idiot but i'm not going to give up on something over the first real

01:08:43hurdle we've had at this time next week it won't be me being an absolute a-hole to this person next

01:08:50to me or it'll be back to what you saw last week and i think hopefully going forward to what we want

01:08:57for the future because that's what i want so i'm going to stay thank you and to you nelly

01:09:11so obviously this week has been really really difficult for me um everything my body was telling

01:09:17me to run it honestly if i'm honest with you i've been 50 50 for like the whole especially after today

01:09:24it's been really really hard for me i would just feel like i would be doing a disservice to both of us

01:09:33if i've not given you a chance to show me that you do care so i've said i want to stay for now

01:09:40stephen you've got some heavy lifting to do this week this is all about showing up for nelly

01:09:58showing her who you really are showing her how much she matters supporting her yeah the spotlight

01:10:05is on you my friend i appreciate it thank you very much thanks guys thank you thank you so much

01:10:10well done

01:10:21steven's obviously going through a lot it's really sad and there's dad's a priority at the moment

01:10:26but i'm sorry this week has been awful it's been hellish i need to see steven affirm me support me

01:10:33show up for me he really needs to show me that he cares because if he doesn't then it's just words

01:10:39and he's not backing up with action i just need a bit more

01:10:45next time i'm not gonna tell the story your way grace and ashley continue to clash it's like talking

01:10:51to a brick wall ash and as the experiment hits its next phase it's in law's week brilliant are you all

01:10:58right nice to see you again will hard truths from loved ones this has probably been the hardest

01:11:02week spell more trouble for the couple i just don't want you to tell me how to look how to be

01:11:07i don't need it i would agree don't tell me what to wear and it's time for six more courageous singles

01:11:14when i have my happily ever after to take the ultimate gamble on love today is now or never

01:11:20everything is riding on this but will an overprotective mum here's my abby i will not see her hurt

01:11:27again derail the first new couple's big day last thing i want is to be upset by some arrogant

01:11:33person that comes along i am the one that vets everybody i'm the bad guy beware

01:11:39to apply for future series of married at first sight go to channel 4.com forward slash take part

01:11:56so

01:12:02so

01:12:08so

01:12:16Transcription by CastingWords

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