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00:00:01On a scale of 1 to 10, how strong are your feelings?
00:00:05Previously...
00:00:069.1.
00:00:10While the dinner party brought some couples closer...
00:00:13Why are you just the best human?
00:00:15Others grew further apart.
00:00:17I don't think I can stay. What am I doing here?
00:00:19I'm at a point of my life now. I need to know you want the same thing.
00:00:22I haven't got time to waste.
00:00:24And Nelly and Stephen's marriage...
00:00:26You got, like, two weeks before you came here.
00:00:28...was rocked by rumours in the group.
00:00:31Who has decided to say I was talking about my sexual activity?
00:00:34You did. We were all there.
00:00:35People are starting to me off. That, that, that, that, that.
00:00:41Wow. Did he just say that?
00:00:46Tonight...
00:00:47I get bored saying the same thing over and over again.
00:00:49You keep saying that.
00:00:50Don't antagonise me then.
00:00:51Don't raise your voice at me.
00:00:52Nelly and Stephen continue to clash.
00:00:54Idiot.
00:00:55Why am I liking someone who's treating me like this?
00:00:57Ahead of a tense...
00:00:58We have hit an issue this week.
00:01:00If this is the way it is, I can't do this forever.
00:01:04...and emotional commitment ceremony.
00:01:06My mindset really hasn't shifted that much.
00:01:09Sorry, I've just got to jump in.
00:01:11It's time to actually take responsibility.
00:01:14This week has been awful. It's been hell.
00:01:17I don't know who you are.
00:01:19Oh, they feel, like, weird.
00:01:31Oh, they're sucky little suckies.
00:01:36Make me pretty. Paint me like one of your French girls.
00:01:39Yes, I am.
00:01:40It's the morning after an eventful dinner party.
00:01:45Here's your brew, love.
00:01:46Thanks, darling.
00:01:47There you go.
00:01:49So, last night...
00:01:50Do you know something was going to kick off?
00:01:52I could feel it in me bones.
00:01:54Just when you hear Chinese whispers all the time, man,
00:01:57it's all going to come out in the end.
00:01:58Do you know what I mean?
00:01:59Yeah.
00:02:00I felt sorry for Nelly.
00:02:01To be fair, I didn't expect Stephen to sort of lose his rag.
00:02:04To me, what that proved last night, though,
00:02:06those two were so different, like, emotionally.
00:02:08Yeah.
00:02:11Didn't expect the whole night to be so focused on Nelly and Stephen.
00:02:16I feel like it just kind of spiralled, didn't it?
00:02:18And then, when all that kicked off,
00:02:20and Devani's wife, he's having an argument with Stephen.
00:02:23And Devani's just chilling next to me, just like...
00:02:25It was...the whole thing was awkward.
00:02:27If he'd have just stood up, I feel like that would have meant the world.
00:02:30Mm-hm.
00:02:33Ugh.
00:02:34How are you feeling about last night?
00:02:36It was intense.
00:02:37Mm-hm.
00:02:38Therefore.
00:02:39What I was talking about, my sexual activity...
00:02:41Yeah, you did.
00:02:42No, I was not.
00:02:43At last night's dinner party,
00:02:45Julia Ruth felt let down by her husband's actions.
00:02:48Devani, Maeve, you were there, so what is it?
00:02:50Huh?
00:02:51Devani, don't leave me hanging.
00:02:53No, seriously.
00:02:55I don't need anyone to, like, fight my battles.
00:02:57I can do that.
00:02:58But I think if I'm calling your name,
00:03:00I need you to step up and be there.
00:03:02Yeah.
00:03:03This way it is.
00:03:07I knew I should have had your back at that moment in time,
00:03:09and I take a full accountability for it.
00:03:11It's just that he was yelling across the room,
00:03:12and I just felt like no one was defending Nelly.
00:03:15And, yeah, I was looking for confirmation from me.
00:03:18You're my husband.
00:03:20It was wrong for me not stepping up and obviously being there for you.
00:03:24It did feel bad.
00:03:26Going forward, 100%, I'm going to be there for any confrontation that takes place.
00:03:30He said what he said, he's apologised, but there's no, like, place to hide with the commitment ceremonies.
00:03:35And I think sometimes he likes to preach a big game, but then the actions don't match.
00:03:40Today's decision is very important, but I feel like it reflects the week that Devani and I have had together.
00:03:45It was a bit of a crazy one last night, wasn't it?
00:03:54It was, wasn't it? I know.
00:03:56Last night's dinner party for me, I could sense that there was an awkward energy in the room.
00:04:01Dean and I had our first argument.
00:04:04I'd made a comment that Dean didn't like.
00:04:06So I am very nervous for the commitment ceremony.
00:04:09I obviously didn't have a great time last week,
00:04:11so I really just want to have a clean slate and just move on and not be in the firing line, you know?
00:04:20I have been making more of an effort.
00:04:22I did throw myself into the Intimacy Workshop.
00:04:24I have been trying.
00:04:25I'm not just sort of, like, shying away from anything, do you know what I mean?
00:04:29You are genuinely such a lovely person.
00:04:30You have got a heart of gold, but I just think people don't understand.
00:04:34They haven't seen that side of you yet.
00:04:35No.
00:04:36Obviously we had that blip, that argument, but we've dealt with that.
00:04:39No, it will be, it will be, it will be fine.
00:04:42You won't get shouted at tonight.
00:04:49Walking into the dinner party, I was slightly disappointed.
00:04:52I thought we would perhaps come together.
00:04:55Why didn't you want to come to the dinner party with me?
00:05:00That was me kind of taking a step back.
00:05:02Judge me after six, eight, ten weeks, don't judge me after two weeks.
00:05:06I'm at a point of my life now where I need to know where I stand.
00:05:10I need to know you want the same thing.
00:05:12Time's precious.
00:05:19Anita and I have lots of positives.
00:05:21The most important ones we have are the values.
00:05:23Manners, respect, understanding, compassion.
00:05:27For me, that's a great foundation stone.
00:05:30I'm hoping that that can be built on.
00:05:32My only regret off yesterday was not actually arriving at the dinner party with Paul.
00:05:39I didn't want to give them the wrong impression.
00:05:42I do adore Paul.
00:05:44He's a gentleman.
00:05:46He pulls the chairs out, he puts the chair in.
00:05:49He's very attentive, but he's never very clear on stuff.
00:05:53Paul will go around the houses and still come back with two answers.
00:05:56I'm really unsure of where I stand.
00:05:59Your decision to go separately was disappointing, yeah.
00:06:05When I look back, I think that maybe if I'd just said we'll go together, but I just panicked.
00:06:12We had a good week, spent time together, and I thought perhaps things were going in the right direction.
00:06:22I can say some of the reasons why they've matched us, but I'm a great believer in time's precious.
00:06:30It's a 10-week experiment.
00:06:32This is week two.
00:06:34I take time, don't I?
00:06:36And I think it's always been abundant that you've wanted to get there quicker.
00:06:40Yeah.
00:06:44Today's a massive decision.
00:06:46All marriages are a work in progress.
00:06:49I've said all along that it takes me time to grow.
00:06:53And perhaps time is something she will give me
00:06:57to find the love and compassion that's inside me.
00:07:03Today's commitment ceremony and my decision is very important.
00:07:07I said I would put 100% into the experiment
00:07:10and try and grow and see where the relationship goes to.
00:07:16I've got lots to think about.
00:07:20Pros and cons of staying, pros and cons of leaving.
00:07:23Deep down I really don't know what to do.
00:07:32I feel good going into today.
00:07:34I would have woke up feeling much better today if I knew I'd had a hot candle wax massage.
00:07:38But, you know, today's a new day.
00:07:42I'm hoping that, like, after the week we've had this week,
00:07:45we can move forward in a positive way.
00:07:48I was just knackered last night, so we will do that this week.
00:07:51Everyone's going to ask you the question, did you give me massage?
00:07:55It definitely hasn't been the smoothest week for Lee and I.
00:07:58I think physical intimacy does need to come.
00:08:01It's important.
00:08:02You know, we're married.
00:08:03You've got to commit to it.
00:08:04You've got to do your homework Lee.
00:08:05At the end of the day, that whole situation with Rebecca
00:08:08is well and truly put to bed.
00:08:10I think we're definitely on the same page now.
00:08:12Yeah.
00:08:13I hope so.
00:08:14I've got feelings attached to this Rebecca situation.
00:08:17At the commitment ceremony, I'm hoping to just speak about
00:08:20what certain feelings might mean or where they're coming from
00:08:23and just get some advice on how we can move forward.
00:08:27Maybe less pressure on the intimacy,
00:08:29because I'm tired of hearing about it.
00:08:36I'm going to get asked loads of questions about 9.5 bae.
00:08:40Oh, my God.
00:08:419.5.
00:08:42What? You don't like that?
00:08:43I just didn't think you would declare your love for me in that way.
00:08:46Car your love? Jesus.
00:08:48I'm looking forward to it. I can't wait for tonight.
00:08:50Yeah, me too. I'm excited.
00:08:51Hmm.
00:08:58I'm a bit anxious about the commitment ceremony.
00:09:00Do you speak with Ash? He's been up and down.
00:09:02He thinks I pick up on too much,
00:09:04and I think he's oblivious to a lot of the things he says
00:09:07and how they come across.
00:09:09I'm not looking forward to the kind of things
00:09:10that me and Ash have to share with the experts.
00:09:14What is it you are particularly scared of sharing
00:09:16with the experts today?
00:09:18Yeah, it's intimacy-based, yeah.
00:09:20That makes me anxious because I'm private.
00:09:22I don't like the idea of having a very personal conversation
00:09:25quite publicly, but I will have to on this occasion.
00:09:29I think it's good that we're starting to speak.
00:09:32We've got as far as we can take it, and we do want help.
00:09:35I think it's going to help. It's going to make it better.
00:09:38Ay, ay, ay.
00:09:40I think this is going to be a really big commitment ceremony
00:09:43for Grace and I.
00:09:44She's been at me to not speak about the intimacy side,
00:09:47but I think we've hit a stage now where I don't feel like
00:09:50we're moving forward, so I'm going to open up today with the experts.
00:09:54Last night's dinner party was very intense.
00:10:06Other people getting involved in Lily and I's relationship
00:10:09is something I always wanted to avoid.
00:10:11I think for me, going into the commitment ceremony today,
00:10:14I'm a little bit up in the air.
00:10:16Maybe when the pen hits the paper, I'll actually make a decision then.
00:10:20This week, there's been way more downs than there have been ups.
00:10:24I broke my rib and Stephen stayed out till the very end of the night
00:10:27and was the last one to come home.
00:10:28Even though he said he's got making up to do
00:10:30and he's going to really work on that this week,
00:10:32I still fear that he doesn't understand why I feel the way I do,
00:10:36and it makes me feel really neglected.
00:10:41Where'd I start?
00:10:46You were discussing your previous history
00:10:49on the day that you should have been at home with me.
00:10:51When they started bringing up my dating history
00:10:53and who I may or may not have slept with before the experiment started,
00:10:56he's totally irrelevant to this.
00:10:58It's adding more fuel to the fire.
00:11:00But I think it's just, why is he talking about that
00:11:03when he should be checking in on me?
00:11:05Why is that even relevant?
00:11:07The girls have sat you down and said,
00:11:09this is going round about Stephen, but it's like, back off.
00:11:12That doesn't...
00:11:13I don't think this conversation is going anywhere.
00:11:16No shit, it's going round in circles.
00:11:18Fuck me.
00:11:20Don't get mad at me.
00:11:21Who am I getting mad at you?
00:11:22I think it's going round and round in circles.
00:11:24I get bored of saying the same thing over and over again.
00:11:26But you keep saying that.
00:11:27Because I have to fucking say it.
00:11:29Don't raise your voice at me.
00:11:30Don't fucking antagonise me then, Lily.
00:11:32Simple as that, really.
00:11:33You're not a child, you can handle your own emotions.
00:11:34Yeah, I can handle my own emotions.
00:11:36So don't shout at me.
00:11:37Don't fucking antagonise me, Lily.
00:11:39You're not a child, you can...
00:11:41Don't fucking call me.
00:11:42Don't say I'm not a child as well.
00:11:43Don't tell me not to antagonise you.
00:11:44I'm not antagonising you.
00:11:45Like, let's just not talk.
00:11:46I'm not antagonising anyone.
00:11:47I'm saying don't speak to me that way.
00:11:48Let's just not talk.
00:11:49Don't speak to me that way.
00:11:50Okay, let's just not talk.
00:11:51Ah.
00:11:54Fucking idiot.
00:11:55Sorry?
00:11:57I said fucking idiot.
00:11:58That's what I said.
00:12:00Name calling is the nastiest thing ever.
00:12:11Here we go.
00:12:12Don't name call.
00:12:13I think it's disgusting when people name call.
00:12:17Where is your empathy in this?
00:12:18Where are you thinking, you know what, Nels?
00:12:20Poor girl has had a really rough week.
00:12:23And then you've called me a fucking idiot.
00:12:25I got so rude.
00:12:27That is a line that you...
00:12:29I can't deal with.
00:12:34It sucks.
00:12:35I don't want to be here in this position.
00:12:36I feel like a bit of a clown.
00:12:37I feel like I should just go put some clown makeup on.
00:12:39Why am I liking someone who's treating me like this?
00:12:43I don't think name calling me is making it up to me, hun.
00:12:46It's not.
00:12:48I think it's disgusting.
00:12:49It's something that I'm never going to tolerate.
00:12:51That is the first and last time you will speak to me like that.
00:12:57Just if you want to love me.
00:12:59Just if you want to give me a movie, listen.
00:13:00Just let me know.
00:13:01If you want to be a movie, you'll pop it on to me.
00:13:02I don't want to be a movie.
00:13:03I don't like it, I don't like it.
00:13:04I can't really, I don't like it.
00:13:05I fell.
00:13:06I can't really wait.
00:13:07No.
00:13:09Go.
00:13:10Go ahead.
00:13:11Go.
00:13:12Go.
00:13:14Go.
00:13:15Go.
00:13:16Go.
00:13:17Go.
00:13:18Go.
00:13:19Go.
00:13:21Go.
00:13:23Go.
00:13:24Welcome to the second commitment ceremony.
00:13:38We know this week has brought some of you closer and posed new challenges for others.
00:13:44Please put your trust in us and bring your true thoughts and feelings to the couch.
00:13:50Let's get started.
00:13:54First up to the couch, Maeve and Jo.
00:14:04Right?
00:14:05Hiya.
00:14:06Hello.
00:14:08This is very natural body language right here.
00:14:11Yes, you two together.
00:14:12And also, you know there's coordination going on.
00:14:14It's a vibe.
00:14:14It's my idea as well.
00:14:15Yeah, it actually is.
00:14:16It makes us a team as well, doesn't it?
00:14:18Everyone knows we're together.
00:14:19So you're a team?
00:14:20Yeah, of course we're all.
00:14:21Yeah, 100%.
00:14:22I love it.
00:14:24This week, I came to your apartment.
00:14:27Yeah, you did.
00:14:27So this was ultimately about building self-worth.
00:14:32And it was changing the script in your mind, Maeve, around not believing when someone tells
00:14:40you something positive.
00:14:41Yeah.
00:14:42I actually don't know how to feel.
00:14:44I get the compliment.
00:14:45I mean, obviously it's nice to hear, but like, I actually don't know what to do after.
00:14:49Do you remember what I asked you to say in the exercise?
00:14:58Joe could even help you out.
00:15:01I believe it.
00:15:01I receive it.
00:15:02And I thank you.
00:15:04That's it.
00:15:04Yeah.
00:15:05You believe it.
00:15:06And you're appreciative that the compliment came.
00:15:10And the more that you do this, I promise you, you will rewrite the script.
00:15:14And it may take some time.
00:15:16Yeah.
00:15:16Because that negative script has been ingrained in you for so long.
00:15:20Like, I'm actually starting to, like, believe what he's saying.
00:15:25He said, obviously, that I make you feel more comfortable in social situations.
00:15:30But then, obviously, like, I believe that because how he opened up, like, yesterday at
00:15:34the dinner party.
00:15:35Like, that was a massive thing for you to do.
00:15:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:37I was, like, so proud of him.
00:15:39And I think, like, I don't want to speak on behalf of everyone, but I do think everyone
00:15:42else is so proud of him for doing it.
00:15:43Yeah, yeah.
00:15:44Did he say that?
00:15:45Yay!
00:15:46But this is why I feel the way I do about you.
00:15:49Because you're just so, you have my back so much.
00:15:52And just, that's why I feel so strongly about you.
00:15:55Because you're such a great person.
00:16:01It's okay.
00:16:06I've just found, like, oh, God, I'm flying my crank.
00:16:09It's okay.
00:16:11Do you know what it tastes for me?
00:16:15I've just found the whole thing quite overwhelming.
00:16:18I mean, just the whole process, that's where she's just been such a solid rock for me.
00:16:22She knows what I've been through in the past with, like, the booze and what have you.
00:16:27But she's just been so reliable and so strong for me.
00:16:32She's literally got an art of gold.
00:16:34So it's like, that's why I'm getting emotional.
00:16:36Because I've never actually met someone that's so selfless in a relationship.
00:16:43We just know we're there for each other when we need it.
00:16:46But my sort of...
00:16:47You're talking about, though, innit?
00:16:48Yeah.
00:16:48Having each other's back.
00:16:49You've got to.
00:16:49My sort of biggest worry in our relationship, though, is, obviously, with my past, the drinking and the drugs and stuff like that, she's very much...
00:17:00Likes to party.
00:17:01Yeah.
00:17:01Which is absolutely fine, and I do it now and again, but my biggest worry is that I don't want to be, like, the fun sponge.
00:17:07Yeah, but you're not going to be.
00:17:08I don't want to go out.
00:17:09I'm choosing not to go out because I'd rather be with you.
00:17:13Yeah.
00:17:13I think, Joe, it's very important to hear what Maeve is saying.
00:17:16Yeah.
00:17:17What she's telling you is that she prefers to spend time with you because of you.
00:17:24She's giving you a compliment.
00:17:25It's very important for you to receive and believe what she is saying.
00:17:32I've never had calm in me life.
00:17:34There's always been drama constantly.
00:17:37And when I'm with Joe, it's quiet.
00:17:39It is me calm, and that's all I've ever wanted.
00:17:41I know it sounds silly, but I like it.
00:17:44It doesn't sound silly at all.
00:17:46What is better than being able to spend time with someone that you feel safe with, that gives you strength, that is helping you to become a better person?
00:17:56What's better than that?
00:17:58Yes.
00:18:02I think you're amazing, and I've been in love before.
00:18:07And I've been trying to find love again, and I genuinely think I'm, well, I have fallen in love with you.
00:18:16100%.
00:18:17So there you go.
00:18:29I can't tell you how much you actually mean to me.
00:18:39I just honestly, like, I've never met anyone like you.
00:18:42Ever.
00:18:43And no, I'm not, do you know what it is?
00:18:45Yeah, I do love you too.
00:18:47I think we should just get right to a decision, all right?
00:19:06Yeah, this is a pretty obvious answer.
00:19:10You know the way I feel about you.
00:19:13I do love you.
00:19:15Oh.
00:19:15And I honestly can't wait to see what the rest of this process, and hopefully beyond, has in store for us.
00:19:22So it's stay.
00:19:24Oh!
00:19:29Maeve.
00:19:30And I just honestly want to say, like, thank you for everything.
00:19:33Each day I'm learning something new about myself.
00:19:36Mm.
00:19:36And honestly, like, I can't tell you how much I actually appreciate it.
00:19:42So, um, I'm staying.
00:19:50We've seen incredible growth between the two of you.
00:19:53We're so incredibly proud of you.
00:19:55Thank you so much.
00:19:56Well done, you guys.
00:20:05Aw, you're a nerd.
00:20:07I know, what the fuck?
00:20:08Oh, my God.
00:20:16Next up, Julia Ruth and Devani.
00:20:25Hello.
00:20:26Hello, you two.
00:20:28Welcome.
00:20:31All right.
00:20:32How are you both feeling?
00:20:33Feeling good?
00:20:34Yeah.
00:20:35Yeah?
00:20:36Yeah.
00:20:38Now, I know you had the values ranking experience this week.
00:20:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:20:42So, why don't you help us understand what happened there?
00:20:45Um...
00:20:46Should I go first, or...?
00:20:47Yeah, go for it.
00:20:48Obviously, the values was quite different.
00:20:50So, for me, I put children first, and then I put sex eight, and then I put looks nine.
00:20:56So, we did differ in those three categories.
00:20:59The children part made sense for us, but in terms of Devani, your kid is everything.
00:21:03Of course, that made more sense.
00:21:05But I think the bulk of it, which was concerning or a challenge for us, was that you were saying work, occupation, money, was something you valued way more than, like, sex and looks.
00:21:18I just was confused as to why it was that low.
00:21:22I didn't believe it 100%, if I'm honest.
00:21:25What do you say to that, Devani?
00:21:27When I went into this challenge, 100%, I did it all authentically, and that's what made sense to me.
00:21:34Are we saying here that, as a couple, one of you puts a high priority on attraction and sex, and the other doesn't?
00:21:43Or that you just prioritise them differently?
00:21:46I think just prioritise them differently.
00:21:50Like, what I said after the challenge, it was like, it's beautiful that we didn't match in every of the categories.
00:21:56So, even if sex was low, it doesn't mean that I don't prioritise that, you know what I mean?
00:22:00I just feel like it's just something that's just going to be a day-by-day situation, but I don't think that the values that was obviously presented was going to be a deal break, and I don't think it will be.
00:22:09So, these activities are really a great starting point for some really good conversation about what are our priorities in life?
00:22:19Where are the similarities and where are the differences?
00:22:23And I guess that's how you now bring that into your relationship.
00:22:26I feel like we've asked each other questions and challenged each other on where we've sat things.
00:22:30I feel like we've been trying our best in terms of that.
00:22:33So, aside from the challenges around differing values, we also saw at the dinner party last night some conflict that you had with Stephen, and your sense that Devani wasn't really there having your back.
00:22:45I mean, she's a tough cookie, and I'll, like, always fight my own battles and that, but I think if I'm saying, Devani, I'm calling your name, and then you don't step up and you're just sitting quietly, it was a bit disappointing to not have your support there because you were there, but nothing, and I just got left to hang out dry by myself.
00:23:08Yeah.
00:23:10I don't ask for help, and I just felt like I was me calling for my husband and you didn't say anything.
00:23:15I don't know, I felt really exposed and vulnerable, just kind of let it down.
00:23:20So what stopped you, Devani, from supporting her in that moment?
00:23:24I think I just felt like I didn't want to feel the fire, but generally I would do stand up.
00:23:30But you didn't?
00:23:31No.
00:23:32And it's had an impact on your wife.
00:23:37If you had your time over, what would you do differently?
00:23:40Definitely stand up.
00:23:42And then I'll comfort her to obviously know that I've got her back.
00:23:46Yeah, so just some sort of like acknowledgement or get up and come to me or just something.
00:23:53It's not about getting involved in conflict, it's about giving your wife your support.
00:23:58There are clearly some issues for the two of you around values.
00:24:01There was a sense that perhaps you weren't quite getting to that point of reading each other and listening and maybe understanding what each other was needing.
00:24:09Whether that's the importance of sex or support in an argument, it's about talking and communication.
00:24:16We're going to go to a decision.
00:24:18Devani, we'll start with you today.
00:24:20Okay.
00:24:21Obviously we had a little hiccup yesterday.
00:24:23Every relationship has to go through conflict.
00:24:24I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.
00:24:29I'm very excited to build that emotional connection and I know that we will get there.
00:24:33And so my final decision is to stay.
00:24:36I feel like the values task shed a lot of light on our relationship and I just want to keep having some of those tougher conversations.
00:24:51Hopefully there's no more conflict in future.
00:24:55So, it's a stay.
00:25:00Thank you guys.
00:25:05Hope you have a great week.
00:25:16Next up on the couch, Sarah and Dee.
00:25:26Hello.
00:25:27Hello.
00:25:28Good to see the two of you.
00:25:29And to you guys.
00:25:30You two as well.
00:25:31So guys, how has your week been?
00:25:33I mean, the intimacy workshop with yourself, we went in with an open mind because that was one of the things that we have been struggling with is the intimacy side.
00:25:42But I have to say since then, we are still taking baby steps.
00:25:46But we've been like holding hands, like cuddling, just taking it slow.
00:25:51I think there's a big pressure build up because we had done nothing.
00:25:54So, you know, it's kind of good to have that work because that just popped that bubble.
00:25:57We're like, oh, it is okay.
00:25:57Like, it's my wife.
00:25:58Of course I can, like, touch her if I want to, you know.
00:26:00It's kind of nice to kind of get that.
00:26:02We did have a bump in the road.
00:26:04It's a great argument.
00:26:05Yeah, first argument.
00:26:06What are we referring to?
00:26:08Um, we all went for drinks.
00:26:11Kind of come back to our apartment.
00:26:14There was a producer there as well.
00:26:16And then there was a, like, comment made.
00:26:18Yeah, it was a silly comment that I made.
00:26:20And he isn't into women, so it's not as if it was then.
00:26:23Do you know, it was silly.
00:26:24And what was the comment, Sarah?
00:26:26That I found him attractive, basically.
00:26:28That you found the producer attractive?
00:26:30Yeah.
00:26:30Okay, and was that said in the presence of Dean?
00:26:33In the presence of Dean, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:26:34It was just a comment that I made.
00:26:35It was kind of...
00:26:36Just joking, banter, yeah.
00:26:38And then we'd gone upstairs and Dean had sort of said, you know,
00:26:42yeah, you weren't happy and I get it.
00:26:45When I heard her say that, I was like,
00:26:46damn, is she ever going to say that about me?
00:26:49And it kind of just triggered something to me.
00:26:50I know, I know.
00:26:51I was like, I don't think I can do this
00:26:52because I don't know if you're ever going to feel that way.
00:26:56It was like, Jesus, like, what am I doing here?
00:26:59Like, I just want to hear that said to me, you know, from my wife.
00:27:03It has made us stronger, though, do you not think?
00:27:08Kind of has, because it was our first argument.
00:27:12I think what you have to be careful of is
00:27:14to not take the blame for something that someone else has done.
00:27:19Yeah, yeah, no, definitely, I've said that.
00:27:21Don't forget or diminish your feelings and all this.
00:27:24It's okay to feel hurt and express that.
00:27:26Just say, tell me, say.
00:27:28Don't pretend that you're okay all the time.
00:27:30I'd rather you said.
00:27:31Do you know what I mean?
00:27:32Yeah.
00:27:33I think what we'd all rather hear, Sarah, to be totally honest,
00:27:36is that you stop doing it.
00:27:37Yeah, I will.
00:27:38Yeah, absolutely.
00:27:39Okay?
00:27:40You know, you've said something disrespectful, you've apologised.
00:27:43You've said something disrespectful, you've apologised.
00:27:47It's time to actually take responsibility.
00:27:49Yeah, 100%.
00:27:50Yeah.
00:27:50And to not just say, you've got the hots for some guy,
00:27:54you know, that's very immature, sort of 15-year-old behaviour.
00:27:58You're an adult and you're in a serious relationship here.
00:28:01There's a lot at stake.
00:28:02It's time to actually take responsibility.
00:28:21Yeah, 100%.
00:28:21Yeah.
00:28:22And to not just say, you've got the hots for some guy,
00:28:25you know, that's very immature, sort of 15-year-old behaviour.
00:28:30You're an adult and you're in a serious relationship here.
00:28:33There's a lot at stake.
00:28:34I completely agree and I take full responsibility and put my hands up.
00:28:42And I am so sorry, I really am.
00:28:44I just need to know why I am behaving like this,
00:28:47because before coming here, I was this ball of sunshine
00:28:51and I just feel like since I've come here, I've sort of lost that
00:28:54and I don't know why.
00:28:56Because I'm not a disrespectful person
00:28:58and I don't like the way that I'm behaving, I don't.
00:29:01What we're saying is just be a bit more mindful.
00:29:05You know, you are in a relationship.
00:29:07And I wonder if part of the reason you're able to say some of these things
00:29:13is maybe, Dean, because you're not putting those boundaries in place
00:29:16to say this isn't acceptable behaviour.
00:29:19It's about for you, Dean, to say,
00:29:21these are my boundaries, I will not tolerate this.
00:29:24And for you, Sarah, to actually do it.
00:29:27Yeah.
00:29:27He needs to see that.
00:29:29Yeah.
00:29:31Let's go to the decisions.
00:29:33Dean?
00:29:35We have improved,
00:29:37but then I did have that fear of if we're going nowhere,
00:29:39why would I stay?
00:29:41Am I going to leave?
00:29:42Am I going to run?
00:29:43I'm here to find out about me as well as find out about us.
00:29:47So I think I get to myself, as well as us as a couple,
00:29:49to keep pushing forward.
00:29:51So I've decided to stay.
00:29:53And Sarah, what's your decision?
00:30:01Yeah, I think the absolute world of you.
00:30:04I think you're an absolute gem.
00:30:05I apologise again for my actions and behaviour.
00:30:09I am learning so much about myself.
00:30:11This obviously is a really intense process.
00:30:13And I'm going to give this week my everything.
00:30:16And I want to continue to see how it goes.
00:30:19And so I am also going to stay.
00:30:25What I'd really like you guys to take from this,
00:30:27Sarah, I think just be a bit more mindful
00:30:29about what you're saying.
00:30:31And Dean, it's OK to say,
00:30:33this is how I want you to treat me
00:30:34and this is not acceptable.
00:30:36And I think it's important for you
00:30:38to kind of practise that.
00:30:39I know it's something I need to work on.
00:30:40Yeah.
00:30:41Thanks, guys.
00:30:42Thank you, guys.
00:30:43See you.
00:30:43See you.
00:30:52Next up,
00:30:55Kia and Daveed.
00:30:59So nervous, aren't you?
00:31:02You're even walking in unison.
00:31:05This is a good sign, right?
00:31:06Yeah, definitely.
00:31:08Fabulous.
00:31:08We're really good.
00:31:09Yeah.
00:31:10So tell me, how was expert week for you?
00:31:12You had the challenge of ask me anything.
00:31:15It was good.
00:31:15I think it was questions
00:31:16that we don't ask each other every day.
00:31:18I think the things he said,
00:31:20they were very positive
00:31:21because there were things that
00:31:21I would like to change about myself as well.
00:31:24What are some of those things?
00:31:26How much you get in your head.
00:31:27Yep.
00:31:29Your confidence on your own appearance,
00:31:31like if you can see yourself through my eyes.
00:31:33Yeah.
00:31:36Because I don't see myself
00:31:37as other people see me.
00:31:39I still see myself as
00:31:40the person that was
00:31:42disregarded
00:31:44or wasn't good enough.
00:31:46but he makes me feel good
00:31:50and wanted and enough.
00:31:52He does that for me very well.
00:31:55One thing that I see the two of you do amazingly
00:31:57is hold eye contact.
00:31:58Yeah, because it's my anchor
00:32:00and I always tell him,
00:32:01if you feel like you're losing yourself,
00:32:02find me.
00:32:03And we do that,
00:32:04we find each other.
00:32:05Beautiful.
00:32:05I feel like I know the answers to this already,
00:32:09but how has intimacy progressed in your relationship?
00:32:12I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:13I'm a virgin.
00:32:14We don't touch one another.
00:32:15No.
00:32:16We're not for it.
00:32:17No.
00:32:18Lights out,
00:32:19dark,
00:32:21with a blindfold.
00:32:21I am loving this bond.
00:32:28I think this is the right time
00:32:30to go to the decisions.
00:32:32Sure.
00:32:32Kia first.
00:32:34So,
00:32:36every single day with this man
00:32:37is an absolute joy.
00:32:38I honestly feel like I've known him
00:32:41my whole life.
00:32:42It's insane.
00:32:43It's hard to put into words
00:32:44how I actually feel about you
00:32:45because I've never felt like this
00:32:48about anyone.
00:32:49So, just thank you for being you
00:32:52and because of that,
00:32:53my decision is
00:32:54to stay.
00:33:05Daveed?
00:33:07I haven't felt this safe
00:33:09with anyone.
00:33:11I have no fears with you.
00:33:13Anything is just easy,
00:33:14even standing in front of you three.
00:33:17And I just want to keep growing
00:33:19and as long as you want me,
00:33:22I will choose to stay.
00:33:26APPLAUSE
00:33:26Yeah?
00:33:28Yeah.
00:33:30Sorry.
00:33:33Fantastic.
00:33:34I wish you all the best
00:33:34for the rest of the week.
00:33:35Good luck.
00:33:36Well done, you two.
00:33:37APPLAUSE
00:33:38Next up,
00:33:51Grace and Ashley.
00:33:54Hello there.
00:33:56Good to see you all.
00:33:57Right away,
00:34:02the first thing that I see
00:34:04is Ashley.
00:34:06Where is your right hand
00:34:07right now?
00:34:10I'm not touching technically.
00:34:10You're not touching?
00:34:11No, but he does.
00:34:12And it's, we're good.
00:34:13We're like, well, yeah.
00:34:14We're warming up to one another.
00:34:15Sometimes.
00:34:16We're good sometimes.
00:34:18It's not really changed.
00:34:19So you're saying
00:34:19there's been no improvement
00:34:20with physical intimacy?
00:34:22It's just still
00:34:22that judgment of
00:34:24can I, can't I?
00:34:25There's still that doubt.
00:34:26There's no set of rules.
00:34:28So it's extremely hard
00:34:30for me to kind of navigate
00:34:31as to when it is OK
00:34:33or when it isn't OK.
00:34:34I feel differently.
00:34:35I feel like you just do it.
00:34:37And if I'm not feeling it,
00:34:39I just say.
00:34:40That's my interpretation
00:34:41of how it is.
00:34:41But then we are having
00:34:42intimate moments.
00:34:43I can go from that
00:34:44to then not being able
00:34:46to touch you.
00:34:46And it's,
00:34:47it's confusing.
00:34:51I would love to keep
00:34:52it completely private
00:34:53in-house,
00:34:55lock the door,
00:34:55seal it up between us.
00:34:57But we have hit issues,
00:35:00an issue this week
00:35:02that I know
00:35:03we're not going to navigate
00:35:04just between us.
00:35:05I know that we're going
00:35:05to need help with it.
00:35:06So we are going to have
00:35:07to speak about intimacy.
00:35:09But I didn't want it being
00:35:10displayed and picked over
00:35:12and, you know,
00:35:13bits of it being gossiped
00:35:14about here, there and everywhere.
00:35:15But yeah,
00:35:17we, yeah, we, we are,
00:35:18I do need to speak about that.
00:35:20You tell the story
00:35:21because obviously you feel
00:35:22a bit more thing about it.
00:35:23You, you tell the story
00:35:23of what you want to do.
00:35:24And then if there's anything
00:35:25that I want to add to the end,
00:35:26I can add to show
00:35:27sort of my side of it.
00:35:28Okay.
00:35:30So,
00:35:31earlier in the week,
00:35:33Ash is super generous.
00:35:35We go for a lovely date.
00:35:36Ash picks up the bill.
00:35:37It's so lovely.
00:35:40Somewhere between
00:35:41him being really generous,
00:35:42picking up the bill
00:35:44and walking home,
00:35:45I developed this anxiety
00:35:47that I have to keep Ash sweet
00:35:49by being affectionate.
00:35:50Grace, help us understand this.
00:35:52Can we just clarify
00:35:53the anxiety of what?
00:35:55It's the expectation.
00:35:57This means that
00:35:57I have to give you sex.
00:35:59Yeah.
00:36:01I just developed this anxiety.
00:36:03We then did another date.
00:36:05We saw a show.
00:36:06We had the most amazing dinner.
00:36:07It was such a good night.
00:36:09Ash very generously
00:36:09picks up the tab again.
00:36:12It's just so hard.
00:36:13I don't want to do this.
00:36:15You've got to.
00:36:16You're not going to move forward
00:36:17otherwise.
00:36:17Okay.
00:36:19We had spoken
00:36:20about, like, a contraceptive
00:36:24that we might consider
00:36:27using at some point.
00:36:30I said,
00:36:31maybe we should look
00:36:32if they have it.
00:36:33We bought a contraceptive.
00:36:36We walked back.
00:36:38I go to bed.
00:36:39Ash.
00:36:42What about me?
00:36:45After the day we've had,
00:36:46you should want to.
00:36:49But that anxiety
00:36:50about the grand gesture
00:36:51and the sort of
00:36:52transactional nature
00:36:53kind of played true.
00:36:58Can I say something?
00:36:59Yeah.
00:37:01We went on this
00:37:01really nice meal.
00:37:02I went to this show.
00:37:03I wasn't thinking
00:37:03about sex or anything.
00:37:04I'm just, like,
00:37:05I didn't do that
00:37:06to have sex with Grace.
00:37:07I'd done it because
00:37:08it was something nice
00:37:09to do for her.
00:37:10You took me
00:37:11to get contraceptive.
00:37:12I thought the date
00:37:13had gone well.
00:37:14So I'm annoyed at myself
00:37:16for getting frustrated,
00:37:17but I couldn't help it.
00:37:20Thank you
00:37:21for your vulnerability
00:37:22in sharing that, Grace,
00:37:24and also you, Ashley.
00:37:26So I want to take
00:37:27this notion
00:37:28of feeling obligated, Grace.
00:37:31what about your experience
00:37:34makes you feel
00:37:36as if a gesture
00:37:38means you having
00:37:40to cross a boundary
00:37:41of yours?
00:37:42I don't know.
00:37:42I'm just cautious.
00:37:44Like, am I always
00:37:45going to be beholden
00:37:46to being affectionate to you?
00:37:47Will it always depend
00:37:48on my affection?
00:37:49Will your mood
00:37:50always depend on that?
00:37:51I constantly feel like
00:37:54you're looking
00:37:54for that bad thing in me.
00:37:56It's like we went out
00:37:57to get a pizza
00:37:58and we were really
00:37:58flirty and touchy
00:37:59and holding hands,
00:38:00cuddling, like little pecs,
00:38:02things like that.
00:38:02We went back
00:38:03to the apartments,
00:38:04put the pizza in,
00:38:05and then I picked Grace up
00:38:06and put her on the counter
00:38:07while I was doing the pizza
00:38:08and I was kind of
00:38:09between Grace's legs
00:38:10and she was rubbing
00:38:11her nose in my face.
00:38:12Wait, can you stop?
00:38:13You're actually
00:38:14embarrassing me now.
00:38:15This is embarrassing
00:38:15where it's just going.
00:38:17But she was, like,
00:38:18rubbing her nose in my face
00:38:19and it was quite intimate
00:38:19and then I went for a kiss
00:38:20and she went,
00:38:21no, no, I'm not doing it.
00:38:22So it was like,
00:38:23for what felt like
00:38:24an intimate moment for me
00:38:25was then not right for Grace,
00:38:28which I understand
00:38:29and I'm being respectful of,
00:38:30but I've done a grand gesture
00:38:31and you said
00:38:32it makes you feel uncomfortable.
00:38:33Can't do physical touch
00:38:34because that makes
00:38:35you feel uncomfortable.
00:38:36You keep saying,
00:38:37I can't do physical touch.
00:38:38You do do physical touch.
00:38:40There is so much physical touch
00:38:41and it's insulting
00:38:42when you say,
00:38:43I can't do it.
00:38:44I never get to do it.
00:38:44It's just so confusing.
00:38:45I'm not saying that, Grace.
00:38:46You're putting words in my mouth.
00:38:49Did anyone else hear it?
00:38:51I'm hearing it all the time.
00:39:04You did just say you can't do it.
00:39:06Yeah.
00:39:07I'm not saying all the time.
00:39:09I can't really do much more
00:39:10to prove to you.
00:39:11I'm not the person you're trying to find.
00:39:11Sometimes I feel like what Ash brings to the group
00:39:17is not a reflection of what's really happening.
00:39:19It's like an edited version.
00:39:20It's like an edited version with the nails thing.
00:39:22I wouldn't have reacted if Ash had said it
00:39:23in a particular way,
00:39:24but in the retelling of it,
00:39:25it's always more favorable to Ash,
00:39:26in my opinion.
00:39:27Can you clarify the nail thing?
00:39:50I'd love to.
00:39:52There was a comment about something I was wearing.
00:39:55you look nice, haven't you got a dress you can put on?
00:39:57Or put on a dress for me.
00:39:58And I was like, let that go, like that's all.
00:40:01Can I say what that was from my side?
00:40:03Well, yeah, do you mind if I finish?
00:40:06Sorry, yeah, of course.
00:40:08Then the nails, where in bed he sees
00:40:11that my nails have overgrown, he's like,
00:40:13I like these done, like keep these up.
00:40:17So I just said, no one tells me how to dress,
00:40:19how to look, how to be, like, I'll do that.
00:40:23Couple of days later, the same comment,
00:40:25haven't you got a dress you can wear?
00:40:27There was only the one comment with a dress.
00:40:28It was, it was, it was not, it was.
00:40:32Okay, it comes up again.
00:40:33And because we'd already had a conversation,
00:40:35I thought we'd settled it with the nails.
00:40:38I said, not this again.
00:40:39And he was like, but don't you want to wear a dress?
00:40:41Like, don't, don't you want, like, isn't it?
00:40:43Wouldn't you want to do it for me?
00:40:44I understand, I've never said that.
00:40:46So you're saying about me making up,
00:40:48wouldn't you want to wear a dress for me?
00:40:49I would never say that.
00:40:51But I thought that was part of the conversation.
00:40:52Like, why don't, why does it bother you?
00:40:54So I booked the dates and I knew where we were going.
00:40:56I knew we were going to fancy restaurants.
00:40:58It was a surprise for Grace.
00:41:00She put an outfit on and I said, you look amazing,
00:41:02but I know, like, have you got a dress to put on?
00:41:04Because I know where we're going.
00:41:06That was what it was.
00:41:07I'm not telling you what to wear.
00:41:08And the nails thing, it meant like,
00:41:10do you want to get your nails done as a treat?
00:41:12I'm not telling you what to do.
00:41:15I'm trying really hard.
00:41:16Okay, you're trying.
00:41:17And I give you an A for trying,
00:41:19but I'm going to give you a C for execution, okay?
00:41:23So now you know it wasn't received well.
00:41:27100%.
00:41:28But you know what your intention was.
00:41:29Yeah.
00:41:30So what we're talking about right now
00:41:31is the difference between impact and intention.
00:41:35So my question is, how can you rephrase that
00:41:37to include your intent?
00:41:39I'm not really sure, to be honest, Paul.
00:41:43I'm like thinking about it on the spot now.
00:41:45So start it off for me.
00:41:47I would like to?
00:41:48Treat you to get your nails done.
00:41:50To show that I?
00:41:51Care about you.
00:41:53Reframing as a question,
00:41:56but also ensuring that you outline your intent.
00:42:00I think this is incredibly important
00:42:02because what I hear you saying, Grace,
00:42:04is that you have this anxiety around,
00:42:07well, what is the intention?
00:42:09But instead, if it is,
00:42:10here's what I'd like to offer
00:42:12because I want to show you how much I care for you.
00:42:15Is that fair?
00:42:16Mm-hmm.
00:42:17Grace is about understanding what your triggers are,
00:42:21what makes you feel comfortable,
00:42:23you know, having that open communication
00:42:25and really building that trust.
00:42:27Like Paul said, there's something there about intent
00:42:30because actually, if Grace can hear
00:42:33that the intention isn't to control
00:42:36or to want any sex or affection,
00:42:39but it's just a kind act,
00:42:40I suspect her response will be more positive,
00:42:44but it does require open communications
00:42:46and patience as well.
00:42:49Yeah?
00:42:50I will work on it and I appreciate it.
00:42:52So then Ashley, I would ask you,
00:42:53what do you believe Grace could do to help you?
00:42:58I'm not really sure anymore
00:42:59because I'm struggling with the fact that
00:43:02if this is the way it is,
00:43:05I can't do this forever.
00:43:06I'm truly trying my utmost to make this work
00:43:10and I feel like I'm always hitting this wall.
00:43:15Here's what I would love you to do.
00:43:16Ashley, your homework is always include your intention.
00:43:20Okay.
00:43:21Grace, here's what I would love for you to do.
00:43:24Have you ever heard of the magic ratio?
00:43:27Hit me with the magic, let's go.
00:43:28The magic ratio.
00:43:29Every time something happens in your relationship
00:43:32where it's challenged,
00:43:33you want to make sure that there's at least
00:43:34five positive affirmations.
00:43:38You don't have to calculate it five to one, da da da.
00:43:41But just think about how every day
00:43:43you are continuing to provide these positive affirmations
00:43:48to your partner
00:43:49because once he receives that, he'll know she's in it.
00:43:54And that's going to give him the fuel to continue to fight
00:43:57for the relationship.
00:43:59Now, you should be doing the same thing, Ash.
00:44:01And then you end up building a stronger relationship.
00:44:05Okay?
00:44:07Grace, how do you feel right now in this moment?
00:44:11I feel, I do feel a bit frustrated almost
00:44:16because it always comes back to like,
00:44:19like Ashley makes all the effort.
00:44:23Yeah, I feel like even coming into this,
00:44:28Ash was like, I'll let you lead.
00:44:29Like, I'll let you.
00:44:31And then I just feel like Ash just somehow managed
00:44:34to make it about me being the problem again.
00:44:36But I do feel that there's potential.
00:44:40When we're good, it is good.
00:44:42We are moving forward.
00:44:43It's two steps forward, one step back.
00:44:46So I think if we keep going and we keep working at it,
00:44:49hopefully it'll just connect.
00:44:51We've got to work at it.
00:44:53It's just hard.
00:44:54It is incredibly hard.
00:44:57And now I'm going to ask you to do something even harder.
00:45:00And that is to make a decision.
00:45:02Okay.
00:45:03I thought you were going to say kiss.
00:45:04Oh my God.
00:45:06Have a kiss.
00:45:07See if it works.
00:45:08Look at that.
00:45:09Look how you snapped into that.
00:45:10No, it can be fun.
00:45:11It definitely can.
00:45:13It can be.
00:45:13It can be fun.
00:45:15Yeah.
00:45:16If we can go with Ashley first.
00:45:19So, I'm sorry and I'm annoyed at myself for getting frustrated.
00:45:23I am giving this everything.
00:45:25I have from the very beginning.
00:45:26I've said I would.
00:45:27When it's good, it's absolutely amazing.
00:45:28And I'm really happy.
00:45:30I genuinely believe if we can get over this,
00:45:33we're going to be the strongest couple.
00:45:34Because I think we're dealing with so many things that
00:45:37it'll make us from strength to strength.
00:45:39I'm in it as long as you are.
00:45:40And I'm really willing to work in it.
00:45:42So, I said to stay.
00:45:53Grace.
00:45:53This is really hard.
00:45:59I'm sorry if it feels like I don't appreciate you.
00:46:03I came here for a marriage.
00:46:06I'm committed.
00:46:07I really want to make this work.
00:46:09So, stay.
00:46:12What's that under?
00:46:17What's that under?
00:46:18Nail polish.
00:46:19Of course it's nail polish.
00:46:21Of course.
00:46:22All right.
00:46:23Thank you so much for your honesty and your vulnerability.
00:46:27Thank you very much.
00:46:42Next up to the couch.
00:46:45Rebecca and Bailey.
00:46:49Hello.
00:46:50Hello.
00:46:50How are you doing?
00:46:51Hello.
00:46:52Hello.
00:46:52Lovely to see the two of you.
00:46:54You too.
00:46:54Lovely to see you too.
00:46:56Tell me how your week has been.
00:46:58Yeah, another good week for us.
00:46:59We had our little task, which was X-Files.
00:47:03It was nice to open up a bit more.
00:47:06I think it brought out a vulnerable side from us both.
00:47:08I learned a bit about you.
00:47:10And she does wear her heartlessly when she is an emotional girl.
00:47:13Those are all good qualities.
00:47:14So, I came out of it in a better place.
00:47:17I think just happier, just hearing a bit more of that deeper side.
00:47:20Opening up, being comfortable to talk about anything and everything
00:47:23is an important part of a relationship.
00:47:25So, I would definitely say that it helped.
00:47:27Yeah, it felt great to connect with him on a deeper level.
00:47:32We did get into have we broken people's hearts before
00:47:35and how we feel about that now.
00:47:37So, I think when you talk on a deeper level with someone,
00:47:39especially when you share, like, an emotional conversation,
00:47:43of course it's going to bring us closer.
00:47:45There was no conflict around that.
00:47:46We were just talking on a really vulnerable level
00:47:49and came out the other end closer, yeah.
00:47:52What I'm seeing here is that this is a phenomenal relationship.
00:47:55There has been no conflict.
00:47:56There was a scale that you were given on a scale of one to ten.
00:48:05No, I don't know what you're on about.
00:48:06Was it Bailey?
00:48:07I don't remember.
00:48:08It was a scale from one to ten, ten being love.
00:48:11Love.
00:48:11And Bailey, for you, it was a 9.5.
00:48:19I don't know what the 0.5 is about.
00:48:21I feel like it's a bit of me second-guessing myself.
00:48:26So, I probably feel like, even though I liked my answer,
00:48:28I probably wasn't being true with myself because
00:48:32the feeling is there and I do love you.
00:48:37So, it's a ten.
00:48:38It's a ten.
00:48:40So, yeah, it is a ten.
00:48:42And I don't know, I do love you.
00:48:44I am in love with you, yeah.
00:48:45So, yeah.
00:48:54That's so lovely to hear.
00:48:56And Rebecca, how is that for you to hear Bailey say that?
00:48:58It's so nice.
00:48:59Like, I can't imagine my life without Bailey.
00:49:02And I know that he might be more vocal when it comes to the love stuff.
00:49:07And it feels a little bit soon for me to declare that right now.
00:49:13But I feel so deeply for him.
00:49:16Bailey knows how I feel about you for sure, don't you?
00:49:19Yeah, 100%, yeah.
00:49:20And I didn't say to get it back and, like, you can go on your own time.
00:49:23But I wanted to say it.
00:49:25I had to say it.
00:49:25So, yeah.
00:49:29Lovely.
00:49:29I've got a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling right now.
00:49:31So, this is good.
00:49:32Yay!
00:49:35So, let's go to a decision.
00:49:37Bailey, if we can start with you.
00:49:38Me first.
00:49:39You have all the qualities that I was looking for in a wife.
00:49:43And so many more that I didn't even realise that I kind of needed.
00:49:46So, really loving spending time with you, loving to get to know you.
00:49:50And, yeah, can't wait for this journey to carry on.
00:49:52So, it is a resounding stay for the love part.
00:49:58Oh, let me see.
00:49:59Oh, that's cute.
00:50:00Yeah.
00:50:01That's cute.
00:50:01That was lovely.
00:50:02That was lovely.
00:50:03So nice.
00:50:03Rebecca, what's your decision?
00:50:05I'm so happy with what you've said to me.
00:50:07And you know that I feel really, really strong feelings for you.
00:50:11And you make life just light and fun.
00:50:13And, yeah, you're just an amazing person.
00:50:16So, 100 million percent stay.
00:50:22I'm really excited to see where this relationship goes.
00:50:25Wish you all the best for the rest of the week.
00:50:27Well done, guys.
00:50:28Well done, baby.
00:50:43Next couple up on the couch.
00:50:46Anita and Paul.
00:50:52Hello.
00:50:52Hi.
00:50:53Welcome.
00:50:54When we last saw you on the couch, Anita, you said leave.
00:51:01And it was all about feeling that Paul could be doing more to listen to you.
00:51:06How have things gone this week?
00:51:09Had your challenge.
00:51:11That kind of opened the doors for Paul to ask more questions.
00:51:17Anita, did you feel that he was asking you questions that was helping him to get to know
00:51:22you better?
00:51:25Not really.
00:51:27Nothing of the deep kind of stuff.
00:51:31What did he ask you about?
00:51:32Paul asked, do you have the time and the patience to wait for me?
00:51:40And I answered, well, how long is a piece of string?
00:51:42Okay, Paul, can you tell us a bit more about that?
00:51:47From my perspective, time makes all the difference to grow a bond.
00:51:54It takes me a long time.
00:51:55My foundation is trust, respect, values.
00:51:59And then I build from then.
00:52:03And Anita has emphasised she doesn't have that time.
00:52:06Well, really, nobody does in this experiment.
00:52:08Sure, yeah.
00:52:09You know, this is a fast-tracked process.
00:52:12I feel like I've made an effort.
00:52:14But when I got to affairs of the heart, there's not been a lot of depth.
00:52:22I've sidetracked it slightly, shall we say.
00:52:25You've sidetracked it?
00:52:26I think so, yeah.
00:52:27I think I have to be honest with myself, yeah.
00:52:29I think I should have considered that.
00:52:31I would have had to be quicker in being emotionally vulnerable.
00:52:37Paul, when you were starting to come into the experiment,
00:52:41you were quite clear that you were ready for love.
00:52:44So I'm wondering what changed for you?
00:52:48Maybe I wasn't brave enough.
00:52:53Fear of opening up, being in a vulnerable space.
00:52:57It's kind of alien to me.
00:53:00Because it's always ended with failure.
00:53:02Hence why I'm sitting on the sofa.
00:53:05So, Anita, how's all of this landing for you?
00:53:10Disappointed.
00:53:12The outside is great, and I can see why we've been paired and matched up.
00:53:17But, like, he's like a huge onion.
00:53:21He's got loads of layers to him.
00:53:23And the deeper layers, we are just on two totally different pages.
00:53:28Yeah.
00:53:31I'm ready.
00:53:32That's why I'm here.
00:53:34I don't think, truly, Paul has actually been ready.
00:53:40Paul and I are...
00:53:44..good friends.
00:53:46But that's not what I came for.
00:53:47I came looking for love, and...
00:53:53..yeah.
00:53:56Yeah, that's a very, uh, observant comment, I think.
00:54:00You came to find love, and I came to find myself.
00:54:02I'm going to go to a decision.
00:54:07Anita, to you first.
00:54:10I know I said I was a bowler last week, and I took your advice on board.
00:54:14I spent more time with Paul, but I'm still not convinced.
00:54:20I think the world of Paul, I really do, genuinely, from the bottom of my heart.
00:54:31I really do.
00:54:32I'm still not convinced.
00:54:50Take a breath.
00:54:51Take a breath.
00:54:52Take a breath.
00:54:55My mindset really hasn't shifted that much, so...
00:55:00..I've decided to...
00:55:03..leave.
00:55:10And to you, Paul.
00:55:11Oof, my turn.
00:55:12Yeah.
00:55:14Um...
00:55:15..it's with...
00:55:16..great understanding.
00:55:24Great respect.
00:55:27Back to the golf course.
00:55:28Wave.
00:55:35You certainly look like a couple of people who have a lovely friendship.
00:55:38Yeah, 100%.
00:55:40I enjoy her company.
00:55:42She's a good girl.
00:55:43We are, obviously, the three of us,
00:55:45very disappointed for both of you that you didn't find what you're looking for here,
00:55:49but we are certainly buoyed by the thought that you both learned a thing or two
00:55:53about yourselves that, hopefully, you can now take back into the world
00:55:56and, hopefully, into future relationships,
00:55:59knowing more about what you want and what you don't want.
00:56:01For sure.
00:56:02So, thank you so much for all your honesty and openness.
00:56:13Came here for a wife.
00:56:14Came here for love.
00:56:15That was the intention.
00:56:16It's all right.
00:56:17It's all right.
00:56:19I think from Anita's perspective, it needs to be instant.
00:56:23I just wanted time to find that love.
00:56:27I wish I could be able to get vulnerable much quicker.
00:56:31My pace was a bit slower.
00:56:33My emotion was not very deep.
00:56:36And I have to take responsibility for that.
00:56:37Next up to the couch.
00:57:00Lee and Leah.
00:57:01Good to see you both.
00:57:11Good to see you.
00:57:13How are you?
00:57:14Wobbly week.
00:57:15Wonky wobbly week.
00:57:16A wonky wobbly week.
00:57:18Yeah.
00:57:19Yeah.
00:57:19All right.
00:57:20So, where I would love to begin is when you heard this one was coming.
00:57:24Oh, no, we definitely need it.
00:57:27And I was excited for it.
00:57:28I just didn't know what was to expect.
00:57:30Yeah.
00:57:30Well, I wasn't expecting the table of sex toys.
00:57:32Put it that way.
00:57:34We took a handful of stuff.
00:57:36I would like to have done the wax candle thing.
00:57:38Which is a pinky promise.
00:57:39I did pinky promise that we would do it last night.
00:57:41But I'll be honest, it was a really long day.
00:57:43And we were both tired by the time I got on.
00:57:45I wasn't tired.
00:57:45It wasn't the best time for me to get a massage.
00:57:47I felt like I could have had the massage.
00:57:48Okay.
00:57:50Another thing I've done wrong then.
00:57:54What was the intention of taking the sex toys?
00:57:58To maybe go the next step or, like, see what happens with them.
00:58:02Was that your intention, Lee?
00:58:05I wasn't massively thinking, oh, my God, can't wait to get into bed
00:58:08and use all these later, being that we're not even at that base yet.
00:58:12Me and Leah have kissed a few times, but I think we've got a lot to come before.
00:58:17We even get to that point.
00:58:20What's holding you back?
00:58:24There's been this huge light shone on mine and Leah's intimacy.
00:58:28And when this pressure has come in, it just kind of feels a bit like,
00:58:33can we just, like, appreciate all of the good that we do have for a second
00:58:38and not, you know, shine this light on the little bits that are missing
00:58:41and that will come naturally.
00:58:43Because the intimacy on a physical level could come when we deepen that emotional connection.
00:58:50So let's go to something else that I saw creep up that you, Lee,
00:58:56were voicing concern with regard to an interaction that you thought Leah and Rebecca had.
00:59:03There was a moment where I felt Leah was being over-familiar with Rebecca.
00:59:08I mean, now we've realised, in a way, it was quite positive,
00:59:11because there's obviously feelings there.
00:59:13Otherwise, I wouldn't have reacted that way.
00:59:14OK. Have you investigated those feelings?
00:59:18I have tried to.
00:59:20I've been with people in the past that have been overly flirty and disrespectful in front of my face,
00:59:25so I'll take that there was part of that that was a trigger for me from my past.
00:59:29But I wouldn't feel this way about a friend. I wouldn't feel those feelings of jealousy.
00:59:35I wouldn't, you know, be bothered when we're arguing and get my back up and get argumentative
00:59:40in the moment, because if I didn't care to that degree, I wouldn't do that.
00:59:44So I've identified that there are feelings there, so for me, that's positive.
00:59:49You have this feeling of jealousy. What is the fear of that feeling?
00:59:56Like not being enough, because I've had that in the past.
00:59:58But so if you have those fears, what's the desire?
01:00:03To be enough and to be respected.
01:00:06Not for you just to be enough, but for your partner to exhibit that you are enough.
01:00:11Yeah.
01:00:11That's what you want.
01:00:12Yeah.
01:00:13You want to make sure Leah feels like you are enough.
01:00:16Personally, like, it's nice to know that Shaz got feeling in there.
01:00:22She doesn't say things like that a lot.
01:00:24You know, Leah, Leah adores you.
01:00:30And she wants to be affirmed.
01:00:33Yeah.
01:00:34An affirm could be, I do like you. I do care about you.
01:00:37It could be a hug. It could be whatever it may be.
01:00:39But the key is that you're consistently affirming your partner.
01:00:43Yeah. I'll make more of an effort to do that.
01:00:44I feel like I do that with you quite a lot.
01:00:46Yeah, you do. But moving forward, I accept that that's important to you,
01:00:50and I will make an effort to do that.
01:00:52Okay. Let's go to a decision.
01:00:55Leah.
01:00:56It's been a wobbly week.
01:00:57Yeah, it's been a wobbly week.
01:01:00Although it's been difficult, I think it's become so much more apparent
01:01:03that there definitely is something there.
01:01:06So, yeah, I want to continue to see where it goes,
01:01:08and I want to discover more levels of you and us.
01:01:13So I chose to stay.
01:01:22I think for me, I do believe there's definitely something there.
01:01:25I've taken the arguments really positively,
01:01:28because it's shown that you have got some kind of feeling there.
01:01:31So I wrote, stay.
01:01:33Wonderful.
01:01:39Let's take the pressure off the physical intimacy,
01:01:44and let's work on building the emotional intimacy.
01:01:46Yeah, I'd love that.
01:01:48All right. Does that sound fair?
01:01:49Yeah.
01:01:51All right. This is good.
01:01:52Nice help.
01:02:04Our next couple on the couch tonight, Nellie and Stephen.
01:02:17Hello, you two.
01:02:17Hello, you two.
01:02:22Well, last night's dinner party was rough for you guys.
01:02:29And certainly just looking at the two of you now,
01:02:33it's looking pretty frosty.
01:02:37So what has transpired in the last 24 hours?
01:02:43So we had the dinner party last night.
01:02:46There was a lot of opinions in the room,
01:02:47which I really appreciated, because I feel like I needed
01:02:50my support system to vocalize how I was feeling.
01:02:52When we got home, we said we weren't going to talk about it.
01:02:55But I just said to him, please, if I ever talk about my feelings,
01:02:58just hear me and listen to me.
01:02:59And he said, yeah, and he would.
01:03:01And then this morning, we were talking.
01:03:03And then it turned into an argument,
01:03:06which ended with Stephen calling me a fucking idiot.
01:03:16I allowed frustrations to get better at me.
01:03:18I didn't mean it directed at you.
01:03:20I mean, it's just the whole situation is just idiotic to me.
01:03:23Like, everything that's led up to it this week is just...
01:03:27It'd been so frustrating and saying,
01:03:29go around in circles, I didn't mean...
01:03:30Sorry, can I just be clear?
01:03:31Did you call the situation an idiot or Nelly?
01:03:35I meant to say the whole situation for me is...
01:03:38He said, you're a fucking idiot.
01:03:40I was trying to, like, word out that the whole situation
01:03:43is idiotic to me.
01:03:44But what you actually said...
01:03:45Fucking idiot, yeah.
01:03:47And that's just how it come out.
01:03:52It's not just how it came out.
01:03:54It's how you chose to say it.
01:03:58You're a grown man,
01:04:00in control of the words that come out of your mouth.
01:04:02You said, you're a fucking idiot.
01:04:16Yeah, and I said, like...
01:04:18I was trying to, like, word out that the whole situation is idiotic to me.
01:04:21But what you actually said...
01:04:23Fucking idiot, yeah.
01:04:23Yeah.
01:04:24And that's just how it come out.
01:04:28It's not just how it came out.
01:04:29It's how you chose to say it.
01:04:33You're a grown man,
01:04:34in control of the words that come out of your mouth.
01:04:38Is this something that's new for you,
01:04:40coming out with a bit of an outburst like this?
01:04:42Or is that a pattern you've noticed in yourself?
01:04:46Totally new to me.
01:04:47I'm a very calm character.
01:04:49I'm a very cool character.
01:04:50I find it very hard to actually lose my rag.
01:04:54And the reason, obviously, for that, which...
01:04:56I've opened up to Nelly a few bits about,
01:04:58obviously, my attack when I was 20.
01:04:59..and I found it very hard then to lose my temper with people.
01:05:07For many, many years, I felt broken
01:05:09because I can't feel those emotions.
01:05:11OK, I can see what's happening here.
01:05:13You've had trauma and you bring that into the relationship.
01:05:19And that counts to a point, but it doesn't excuse it.
01:05:24Because the bottom line here is,
01:05:26you've said something that's really hurt Nelly.
01:05:30Are you understanding the impact of your words
01:05:34and behaviour this week on Nelly?
01:05:37Yeah, absolutely.
01:05:38I think this week, my marriage hadn't been a priority.
01:05:41Getting the news of my stepdad,
01:05:43who's basically raised me, is in hospital.
01:05:45So, for me...
01:05:46It's OK.
01:05:57So, for me, this week, I've just not been able to think of the marriage.
01:06:03When you've potentially broken your rib, I didn't come home
01:06:08because I was with the guys.
01:06:09That was my outlet.
01:06:10Are you saying then that the events of this week
01:06:14and the way that you've responded are purely a function of you having
01:06:20a lot of stress in your life outside of the experiment?
01:06:22A million percent is our character for me.
01:06:24Yeah, well, it's certainly surprising to us.
01:06:27And it's been really hard to watch this week.
01:06:31And now, you know, seeing how much pain you're in,
01:06:34I think it does help us understand a little bit,
01:06:37you know, this is not the Stephen that we know.
01:06:40And Nelly, you're probably thinking,
01:06:41this is not the man I married.
01:06:42Yeah. I think I'm just thinking, well, which one are you?
01:06:46Is this you?
01:06:47Because if it is, then we can shake hands and we can go,
01:06:50we can split from here.
01:06:51Or are you the Stephen on the honeymoon?
01:06:53Because we were so happy.
01:06:55My concern here is that, Stephen, your behaviour this week
01:06:59has fed into Nelly's existing insecurities.
01:07:02Yeah.
01:07:06Yeah. Is that right, Nelly?
01:07:07Yeah, it is. I just feel like...
01:07:09I don't know whether I can open up, like, how I was on the honeymoon.
01:07:15Because I did and I feel like I've got burned.
01:07:18So, it's the same story. What's the point?
01:07:21This week has been awful. It's been hell.
01:07:24Just, I don't know who you are.
01:07:27Stephen, you're the one with the answers here.
01:07:28It is that stress.
01:07:33What you saw on the honeymoon, what you saw on the wedding day, that's me.
01:07:37It's been so long since I've actually met someone who I've connected with and vibed with,
01:07:42to the point where I'm like, oh, shit, this is a great feeling.
01:07:45I've not heard that before.
01:07:47I know, because I'm allowing myself to be vulnerable and emotional for a change.
01:07:52This is not something I'm used to.
01:07:54Nelly, I'm curious about what you need from Stephen to start to feel that things are back on track.
01:08:01I just need the words that he said this week. He needs to put them into action.
01:08:04I just need to feel like you care.
01:08:09It's very clear that this week, Stephen, through your actions, you've communicated to Nelly that you don't care.
01:08:18How do you actually feel about her?
01:08:23I like you. I really like you. And of course, my actions this week would suggest otherwise.
01:08:28But the like is there because I wouldn't be here.
01:08:31This is real. I'm in it.
01:08:32I would love to be on that path of the love. That's what I'm here for.
01:08:36I'm still willing to fight for this because that honeymoon thing that we had, that's me.
01:08:42That's us. This week is not me. It's not us.
01:08:53With that, we're going to go to a decision and we're going to start with Stephen.
01:08:57So for me, as hard as this week has been emotionally,
01:09:01after this morning, I thought I'd push Nelly back even further because of me being an idiot.
01:09:07But I'm not going to give up on something over the first real hurdle we've had.
01:09:13And this time next week, it won't be me being an absolute a-hole to this person next to me.
01:09:19It'll be back to what you saw last week.
01:09:21And I think, hopefully, going forward to what we want for the future, because that's what I want.
01:09:29So I'm going to stay.
01:09:31Thank you. And to you, Nelly.
01:09:41So, obviously, this week has been really, really difficult for me.
01:09:45Everything in my body was telling me to run.
01:09:47Honestly, if I'm honest with you, I've been 50-50 for, like, the whole special year after today.
01:09:55It's been really, really hard for me.
01:10:00I would just feel like I would be doing a disservice to both of us if I've not given you a chance to show me
01:10:05that you do care. So, I've said I want to stay for now.
01:10:21Stephen, you've got some heavy lifting to do this week.
01:10:25This is all about showing up for Nelly, showing her who you really are,
01:10:29showing her how much she matters, supporting her.
01:10:33Yeah.
01:10:34The spotlight is on you, my friend.
01:10:36I appreciate it. Thank you very much.
01:10:38Thanks, guys.
01:10:39Thank you so much.
01:10:40Well done.
01:10:41Well done.
01:10:41Well done.
01:10:42Well done.
01:10:51Stephen's obviously going through a lot.
01:10:53It's really sad.
01:10:54And there's dad's a priority at the moment.
01:10:56But I'm sorry, this week has been awful.
01:10:58It's been hellish.
01:10:59I need to see Stephen affirm me, support me, show up for me.
01:11:04He really needs to show me that he cares because if he doesn't, then it's just words
01:11:09and he's not backing up with action.
01:11:12I just need a bit more.
01:11:15Next time.
01:11:16I'm not going to tell the story your way.
01:11:19Grace and Ashley continue to clash.
01:11:21It's like talking to a brick wall, Ash.
01:11:23And as the experiment hits its next phase.
01:11:25It's in Lars' week.
01:11:27Brilliant.
01:11:27Oh, God.
01:11:28Are you all right?
01:11:29Nice to see you again.
01:11:30Will hard truths from loved ones.
01:11:31This has probably been the hardest week.
01:11:33Spell more trouble for the couple.
01:11:35I just don't want you to tell me how to look, how to be.
01:11:37I don't need it.
01:11:37I would agree.
01:11:39Don't tell me what to wear.
01:11:41And it's time for six more courageous singles.
01:11:44I want to have my happily ever after.
01:11:46To take the ultimate gamble on love.
01:11:48Today is now or never.
01:11:50Everything is riding on this.
01:11:51But will an overprotective mum.
01:11:54Here's my abby.
01:11:55I will not see her hurt again.
01:11:57Derail the first new couple's big day.
01:12:00Last thing I want is to be upset by some arrogant person that comes along.
01:12:05I am the one that vets everybody.
01:12:07I'm the bad guy.
01:12:08Beware.
01:12:09To apply for future series of Married at First Sight, go to channel4.com forward slash take part.
01:12:16For more information, visit www.fema.com forward slash take part.
01:12:46For more information, visit www.fema.com forward slash take part.
01:12:48For more information, visit www.fema.com forward slash take part.
01:12:50For more information, visit www.fema.com forward slash take part.
01:12:52For more information, visit www.fema.com forward slash take part.
01:12:54For more information, visit www.fema.com forward slash take part.
01:12:56For more information, visit www.fema.com forward slash take part.
01:12:58For more information, visit www.fema.com forward slash take part.
01:13:00For more information, visit www.fema.com forward slash take part.
01:13:02For more information, visit www.fema.com forward slash take part.
01:13:04For more information, visit www.fema.com forward slash take part.
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01:13:08For more information, visit www.fema.com forward slash take part.
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