- 19 giờ trước
Was Actually There - Season 2 Episode 2 -
September 11 Terrorist Attack
September 11 Terrorist Attack
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02:19I stayed at the Marriott Hotel, right in between the Twin Towers.
02:24Right in between.
02:25The cameraman that I was working with, it had never been to New York.
02:29So the evening of September 10, I said,
02:30mate, what I want you to do is I want you to wake up,
02:34go down to the World Trade Center and go up to the roof
02:37and just orient yourself and see New York.
02:40But make sure you get there early when it opens.
02:42I was living in Tribeca, about eight blocks away from the World Trade Center.
02:50And so, yeah, that morning I remember just being very ordinary.
02:53I just remember it being a lovely day. It was a beautiful fall day.
02:56I had just turned 35 and Craig had given me Daisy and she was so playful.
03:02Craig was absolutely mad about her.
03:04So I got up early in the morning and took Craig in a cup of coffee.
03:08I'm in the conference, yeah.
03:09and the conference was in their ballroom at the bottom of the North Tower.
03:13I said, OK, well, I'm going to take Daisy out for another walk.
03:15Call me later, babe. Love you.
03:17And I just walked out the door.
03:24It was, I was in the bathroom.
03:26I was brushing my teeth and there was a noise,
03:29the noise of the plane went roaring right over the head.
03:33I remember actually, cringe, I ducked and it was so loud.
03:36And it was a really familiar noise.
03:37It was a noise when, if you travel a lot, a jet,
03:40it, uh, when they're gunning the engines, that was a noise.
03:43There's, there's no other way to explain it.
03:45I was actually looking out the window.
03:49The building in front of me exploded.
03:52Right in front of my face.
03:53And the chandeliers start shaking,
03:55the floor starts shaking and people are screaming.
03:58I wasn't immediately thinking, oh, a plane just crashed.
04:00This is Manhattan, that doesn't happen, you know.
04:02I thought, oh, I wonder what the fuss is.
04:03Like, come on.
04:04And there were a lot of big, loud noises in Manhattan.
04:06It just, it's a noisy place.
04:08I just remember thinking, I reckon a pipe's exploded.
04:12Pretty big pipe, but that was the best I could come up with.
04:15I wasn't overly concerned.
04:16There was no smoke.
04:17There was no fire.
04:19There didn't seem to be any immediate danger.
04:22No one knew what happened.
04:23Your brain can't process these things at quarter to nine on a Tuesday morning.
04:27We're going to go live right now and show you a picture of the World Trade Center where I understand.
04:34Do we have it?
04:35Yes.
04:36No, we do not.
04:38We have a breaking story, though.
04:39We're going to come back with that in just a moment.
04:41First, this is today on NBC.
04:42I moved to New York January 2000.
04:46I was working as a bike messenger where there's not really much future in that career.
04:51You don't make much money.
04:52It's very dangerous.
04:53Everyone hates you.
04:54It's very fun.
04:55Yeah.
04:55I was living with my girlfriend at the time, and her mom had called the landline in the apartment,
05:01woke me up.
05:02And I remember Rose saying, hey, Michael, do you know what's going on today?
05:06So in math class, there were some rumblings out in the hallway that something had happened.
05:10The teacher, like, left the room for a minute, I remember.
05:13And there was just something in the air that, like, something is going on.
05:16The door's banging, and my husband is at the door.
05:20And I opened the door, and he fell in front of me and said, a plane, a plane.
05:22It hit the building.
05:24I'm like, what are you talking about, a building?
05:26And he said, a plane.
05:27I just saw it.
05:27It hit the trade center.
05:29And so we went to the top of the building, six-story building.
05:31You can see the World Trade Center.
05:34It's like, this much easier view.
05:37The smoke is just filling the sky.
05:40All of a sudden, over the loudspeaker, I got called down to the office.
05:44The woman at the front desk just said, your mom's on the phone.
05:46We went out just down the stairs, and there was a giant gash in the top of the building.
05:53But it was the shape of an airplane.
05:54It was like the Tom and Jerry cartoons when you go to the wall, it's the shape of a cat.
05:58It was the shape of an airplane.
06:00And so I picked up the phone, and my mom said, everything's fine.
06:06I talked to your dad.
06:07Like, something's happened in the city, and I just want you to come home right now.
06:12I can't say she sounded calm.
06:14She was a bit frantic, but I feel like that's kind of her personality.
06:16Like, everything is a disaster.
06:18But I kind of took it with a grain of salt.
06:20Like, everything's probably fine.
06:22I thought I'd go upstairs and get my bags packed.
06:25They wouldn't allow me to do that because the alarms were sounding.
06:29But as we're standing there, a woman comes into the foyer, and she's on fire.
06:38And she wasn't the only one.
06:39There were people who were outside the hotel and outside Tower One got doused in jet fumes
06:47and were incinerated.
06:49And we have a breaking news story to tell you about.
06:51Apparently, a plane has just crashed into the World Trade Center.
06:55We have very little information available.
06:57The first thing you do when you're on assignment, when you wake up, is you put the TV on to
07:01see the morning news.
07:03I turned the news on, having some Vegema on a bagel, as you do when you're in New York.
07:08And then just something made me look at the TV.
07:11And I saw that there was a plane in the side of a building, and I thought, what?
07:17So I turned the news up, and then I thought, I think this is real.
07:23There's been a really horrific accident.
07:25And then I realised very quickly what was going on, and I thought, oh, my God.
07:29I told Paul to go to the World Trade Center.
07:32So, obviously, I rang his room, and it didn't answer.
07:35I called his office number, and there was no response.
07:38So then I tried to call his cell.
07:40That didn't answer, and I just thought, oh, my God, I've done something really bad.
07:44So I just left a message to say, look, something bad's really happened to your building.
07:48You need to get out of there.
07:50Find somewhere safe.
07:51When you're safe, call me.
07:52So I ran next door and banged on his door.
07:55Took a while, but he came to the door, and he's like, yeah, what?
07:59So he decided to sleep in.
08:01I'm really pleased he ignored me.
08:05So then I thought, well, I can't reach him by a cell.
08:07I'll run over there.
08:08My mentality was, bike messengers, we get in everywhere.
08:12Always know the back door to places.
08:14I was thinking, I'm going to go in there and check it out.
08:16I'm going to get inside those buildings.
08:17And I said, get dressed, meet me outside, bring the gear.
08:23We couldn't see anything.
08:24We still didn't know what was going on.
08:26I mean, why is a lady on fire in a hotel?
08:30I think that I was almost in a bit of a trance, actually.
08:35The noise around you was not quite getting through to you.
08:38And that's when there was this message that came over the intercom saying, I can't remember
08:45the exact word, something, you know, don't panic or whatever it said.
08:48That clicked me into gear and I thought, you know what, I'm 92 floors in the air.
08:54I want my feet on the ground.
08:56They assessed that we couldn't go out the main doors.
08:58Things were coming down and it was not safe to go out then.
09:02We had to go out the far end.
09:04I started going down the stairs.
09:05So I had 92 floors to get down.
09:08I'm standing at the exit and yesterday there were cars, taxis, people honking horns.
09:14And I'm standing at the door looking out and I can see cars on fire.
09:20I can see rubble in the road and the air is just filled with burning paper.
09:26And then they say, do not look up, put your hands over your head and run across the road.
09:32Get away to safety.
09:37I got a third away along the Brooklyn Bridge and then I was grabbed by two women
09:43who were fleeing from downtown.
09:45They held on to me and they said, you can't go over there.
09:48And I said, well, my husband's over in that building and I need to get over there.
09:52And they said, we can't let you go.
09:59The phone started ringing.
10:01A friend called up and said, did you see that?
10:04So he turned the television on and as I was on the phone, the second plane hit.
10:08And it banked and just exploded into the South Tower.
10:17I felt like King Kong picked up the building and shook it.
10:21That's the only way that I could.
10:22I was thrown forward.
10:24I caught myself.
10:25And then it was honestly being like in the surf getting thrown around
10:29with this overwhelming sense that this whole building is going to fall down
10:33because a building can't shake like this and not come down.
10:35And it's just shattered as concrete and flames and smoke
10:39and everybody's screaming again.
10:42It looked like a special effect.
10:43It was as if you were watching a movie, but knowing it was real.
10:46It was the opposite of watching a movie and knowing it was not real.
10:50We were seeing something real and it seemed fake to you.
10:52I'm standing there looking at the building
10:54and I see a lady blown out of the window
10:58and cartwheels across my eyeline
11:01and smashes to a death.
11:02I can see it today.
11:04Mid-40s, blue-gray pantsuit, dark hair, ragdoll.
11:09That's when people started sort of pouring into the stairs after that, right?
11:13So I remember thinking,
11:14I'm still higher than what I used to work in Sydney.
11:16So I was around the 40th floor and you couldn't move
11:19because there were so many people.
11:20Some bloke turned around to me and said,
11:23really lucky this isn't a real emergency.
11:24because no-one knew, right?
11:27But look, those stairs were never-ending and just terrible.
11:34It was at that point that I decided I've got to get out of here.
11:38So there were hordes of people coming towards us, hordes of them.
11:42It was terrifying to see people coming across the bridge,
11:48running, you know, just to get away.
11:50To be quite honest, I do not remember the walk
11:54from the Towers to the Staten Island Ferry.
11:57It's just a blur.
11:58So we got to the street and we were milling about.
12:00We noticed that there were people in front of us
12:02were going, hush, shush, shush, shush, shush.
12:04And there was some teachers leading a group of schoolchildren
12:07away from the site.
12:09There was a school at the bottom of the trade centre
12:11and they were singing the song.
12:14And as they walked past it, we all kind of like,
12:16ah, clapped and like, you know,
12:17tried to make them feel happy as they walked past us.
12:19But, yeah, it was an effort of the whole crowd
12:23not to panic the kids.
12:25It stuck with me.
12:27It did.
12:28The ultimate outcome, clearly, was that I got to the bottom.
12:33Finally exiting these stairs and running up the other way
12:37were all the fireys.
12:39They were knocking themselves over to get into that building, right?
12:42And I've got to tell you, every single,
12:43not one of those brave guys that went the other way,
12:48that didn't, I didn't like to tell that.
12:50That morning, that morning I was very tired.
12:54I had, I was, got, got home late and I was sleeping.
12:58I was awakened by the family and they had told me that,
13:01the building was hit by a plane.
13:03So I knew that I was, I would have to go.
13:07I was a firefighter in a special unit in South Bronx,
13:10so we were always training for something big.
13:13Actually, I was on vacation.
13:15So, um, when I responded,
13:17technically the city owes me money.
13:19No, no, I'm only kidding.
13:22How are we going to get there?
13:23That was all I was worried about.
13:24This is not something that you can get a press release on
13:27and regurgitate it.
13:28You've got to live it.
13:29You've got to live the story.
13:31I was stopped at the Midtown tunnel.
13:32It was closed at that time.
13:34They would not let any, uh, civilian cars to go by.
13:36So I just jumped on a fire truck as it went by.
13:41On the way down there,
13:42so I used to carry a disposable camera.
13:44I think there's 24 photos in there
13:46and there was only three left.
13:48So I thought I'd stop into a little corner deli,
13:50I'd pick one up.
13:51Just chaos in there, just people running around.
13:53No one's serving me.
13:54They're on the counter.
13:55I just took one.
13:57One of my way.
13:58Sorry.
13:59And, uh, I made it all the way around to the south side
14:03and I took a couple of photos.
14:05So as we were heading down to the scene,
14:07I did call Sandra Sully,
14:09who was, uh, on the desk and they were going live.
14:12We have Michelle Stone, tense correspondent,
14:14on the streets of New York at the moment.
14:16Michelle, describe the chaos if you care.
14:19Well, Sandra, you can probably hear it in the background.
14:21And the streets have come to a standstill.
14:25But after that, we lost contact
14:27because we had no, um, mobile reception.
14:30And I remember being on the bridge
14:31and seeing things falling.
14:34And I can see these black things coming off the building
14:37and I thought, what the hell's that?
14:40And it was actually people.
14:42I found out that people were taking their own lives.
14:44So many of them.
14:46It seemed like every 30 seconds
14:47there'd be people falling, falling down,
14:50and some people were holding hands.
14:52And it was just so hopeless.
14:54That was their only option, you know?
14:57I said to Paul, stop filming.
15:00Well, it is, uh, a grotesque sight
15:02to look at from about 30 blocks away from where we are.
15:05For those of you just, uh, joining us,
15:08let's just briefly recap what we know.
15:11Air travel in this country has come to a halt this morning
15:15as clearly, uh, people are trying to figure out
15:18what exactly is going on.
15:21Okay, so when I got home, the news was on.
15:23And so this was the first time I'd seen the TV.
15:25And I don't know if that was the best place for me
15:29to be in front of the TV.
15:30But nonetheless, like, that's what happened.
15:33I'm glued to the TV, waiting for any sort of news.
15:37And it's just constant people replaying, uh,
15:40the planes going into the towers.
15:42Just, like, over and over and over again.
15:44I was just numb.
15:45Like, I didn't cry.
15:46Like, I was just in shock.
15:48As bad as it was, if I caught a glimpse of him on TV
15:51or something, then at least I would know
15:53that he was going to be okay.
15:55So that's why I was glued to the TV.
15:57I was trying to find him in the crowd.
15:58When you're 13 years old, like,
16:01you just want to, like, feel safe
16:02and know that, like, adults, like,
16:03have everything under control
16:04and, like, know what's going on.
16:06And nobody did.
16:16I thought by the time I got down
16:18to the Staten Island ferry that things were good.
16:21But it's while I'm in the ferry terminal
16:23that things change again.
16:25I think I'm going to die.
16:26We respond, we go into the city
16:29and there we actually saw
16:31the first building come down.
16:33All of a sudden, there are explosions
16:36one after the other.
16:41I'd put a few blocks between me and it by then.
16:45But I, just the screaming,
16:46I saw it all happen.
16:48Boom, boom, boom.
16:49These were explosions that were happening
16:52a kilometre away,
16:53but the entire building was shaking.
16:55and then just the plume of dust
16:57just rising up into the sky.
17:03OK.
17:06This surely is the darkest day
17:08in the history of terrorism in America.
17:10It was massive.
17:14Barrelling down this canyon
17:15of a road that we were in,
17:18filling the entire space.
17:20Come on, come on, come on, come on.
17:22Andy!
17:23It's one evil, black mess
17:26coming straight at the people
17:27who were on the outside.
17:28And we had maybe three seconds
17:31to think about what to do.
17:32You know, what's in it?
17:33Asbestos, other stuff.
17:35They're screaming.
17:36I mean, it was horrid.
17:37As we got closer to it,
17:39the amount of people
17:39that were coming up,
17:40running from all directions.
17:43There are people everywhere.
17:44There's millions of people
17:45on the streets.
17:47Majority going that way.
17:48Get me out of here.
17:49There were people
17:50flooding down to have a look.
17:51For me, I was actually
17:52trying to control my breathing
17:53because now I am actually
17:54running down,
17:56running into the cloud.
17:57And I saw out of the corner
17:58of my eye,
17:59this roller door coming down.
18:00And I screamed at Paul.
18:02I just told him,
18:02leave the gear.
18:03And I ran and dived
18:05under this roller door
18:06when there was probably
18:07about that much left to go.
18:09And I think Paul
18:10went under a car.
18:12Yeah.
18:13And then it was,
18:14it felt like forever.
18:15Sorry.
18:19Yeah.
18:20I was just worried
18:21about him.
18:24Close the door.
18:26Close the door.
18:27Money.
18:28Well, after I came out
18:30of the garage,
18:31we got back together
18:32and I just said,
18:33OK, let's go.
18:34So we kept working.
18:36Did the only thing
18:37that felt appropriate
18:38in the circumstances
18:39and found a bar
18:40that was still open
18:40in Greenwich Village
18:41and went and had a pint.
18:44That's when I saw it
18:45on the television.
18:46I almost felt
18:47physically sick seeing it.
18:49I didn't realise
18:50the magnitude of it.
18:52I don't remember
18:58the first building falling.
19:00I remember the second one
19:01that fell,
19:01which is building number one.
19:02That was the one
19:03that had the big antenna.
19:05I saw the antenna
19:06kind of just twist a bit
19:08and I was like,
19:08oh no.
19:14I heard something
19:15like crackling.
19:16I look up
19:17and this thing
19:17is coming down.
19:23Everyone did the same thing.
19:24They all started screaming,
19:25no, no, no, no,
19:26and they were holding
19:26their hands up,
19:27you know,
19:27as if trying
19:28to hold the building.
19:29So I was taking photos,
19:30photo, whine,
19:31photo, whine,
19:32photo, whine.
19:33This smoke
19:34was coming up the street.
19:35I get my bike
19:36and I took two photos
19:37behind my head
19:38like this.
19:38You notice the ones
19:39are off centre there.
19:42If you didn't get out
19:43there, you're dead.
19:44I remember just having
19:45this intense pain
19:46in my chest.
19:47I thought for,
19:48you know,
19:49a split second,
19:51he's gone.
19:52He's gone.
19:53And then I thought,
19:54no, I'm not allowing
19:55myself to think that way.
19:58Hang on to hope.
19:59He'll be all right.
20:01He'll be fine.
20:05It's hard to explain.
20:07As a news photographer,
20:09you don't ever hope
20:11for anything like that
20:12to happen.
20:13But if and when
20:15it does happen,
20:16you hope you're there
20:17to cover it.
20:18You spend your whole
20:19life perfecting your
20:21craft to cover
20:23the biggest job
20:23and this was the
20:24biggest job of my
20:25career.
20:30One thing that people
20:31don't realise down
20:32there, it's like
20:33there was no colour.
20:35It was black and white.
20:37It wiped all the colour
20:38out of everything.
20:39The dust was just
20:41like a layer of snow
20:42and it was on everything.
20:44There's a lot of smoke
20:45still.
20:46There's stuff still
20:47burning, the ground's
20:48burning.
20:49Oh my God, I must have
20:50breathed in every carcinogen
20:52known to man that day.
20:53On my forearms, I could
20:54feel like a slight burning
20:57on my forearms and in my
20:58mouth there was like a
21:00little bit of blood in it.
21:01We had just survived the
21:02second collapse so there's
21:03nothing else coming down.
21:04so now it's a recovery.
21:07We've got to start
21:08making searches.
21:11I still, I can never
21:13forget the sounds of the
21:14little alarms that
21:16firefighters wear.
21:17They go off if they
21:18haven't moved for a
21:19certain amount of time
21:20and it's a beeping noise.
21:22I could hear them going
21:23off everywhere.
21:25Just that beeping, I
21:27never forget the beeping.
21:28Knowing that wherever
21:29it's coming from, there
21:30was somebody down, somebody
21:32in trouble.
21:33I focused on getting
21:35interviews with people.
21:37There were crying firemen
21:39and police officers, like
21:41they were weeping.
21:42It was pretty bad.
21:43The firemen who went down
21:44there that day, you know,
21:45many of them, you know,
21:47lost their lives.
21:48I looked up and saw a
21:50fire truck with like the
21:53crane on the back, the
21:54bucket and it was stretched
21:56up and I thought they've
21:58found somebody.
21:59We covered them, took them
22:01out.
22:02and I opened his coat up
22:03and realized it was my own
22:05guy.
22:06And the photo I took of that
22:08firefighter doing it, the
22:10anguish on his face, I'll
22:13never forget like how upset
22:15he looked.
22:16I was a mess.
22:17I was bleeding out of my
22:18mouth.
22:19My hand wouldn't stop
22:19shaking.
22:20Yeah, I don't remember too
22:22much more.
22:22Just wasn't a good day.
22:25I think that's why his face
22:28looked like that because
22:30there were so many still
22:32under that rubble and the
22:33chances of them surviving
22:34were pretty low.
22:36I think you either were
22:40lightly damaged or you
22:41didn't make it out.
22:43The thing you need to keep in
22:46mind is that I've got a family
22:48who's watching this live on
22:49television.
22:50My wife is watching me
22:51essentially being murdered at
22:54the bottom of the Twin Towers.
22:56She doesn't know.
22:57Nobody can get in touch with
22:58anybody and people couldn't
22:59call out out of the city.
23:01The landlines went down for a
23:02while.
23:02The mobiles went down for a
23:03while.
23:04Because there was so much
23:04chaos, so much pandemonium.
23:06It was hours, but it's the
23:09phone call you want to make
23:10hi, sweetheart.
23:10It's me.
23:12I'm safe.
23:13I'm safe.
23:14You know, being a bit of an
23:15optimist, you know, I was
23:16always hopeful that he would,
23:18you know, survive this and he
23:20would come home.
23:21I think there was this moment
23:22where somebody saw somebody
23:24like walking around disoriented
23:26in Hoboken and they thought
23:27my dad hit his head and he
23:28was confused.
23:30Maybe he was knocked
23:30unconscious.
23:31Maybe he left the building so
23:33quickly that he didn't take
23:34his ID with him.
23:36We were just holding out
23:37hope that like, oh, yeah,
23:38like he would obviously come
23:39back, like he would walk
23:40through the door.
23:41So as the afternoon went on,
23:44it got quieter and quieter,
23:46strangely.
23:46And so I looked outside and
23:48there was just this big
23:48absence in the sky.
23:52It's the whole skyline had
23:54changed.
23:55Yeah.
23:55The whole neighborhood had
23:55changed.
23:57Didn't look like where we
23:58lived anymore.
23:58The day after the horrific
24:06attacks, smoke still swirls
24:08above the New York skyline.
24:10Everyone knew somebody who
24:11was missing, no matter who
24:13you talk to, because so many
24:14people worked there at the
24:16World Trade Center.
24:17The people began posting up
24:18pictures of their loved ones
24:20missing.
24:21And there were hundreds of them,
24:21like hundreds of them, like
24:22people's faces.
24:23There was pictures of missing
24:25people going up all over
24:26Manhattan and I'd be standing
24:28at a crossing and you'd see
24:29someone looking at you who
24:31used to be on your floor at
24:32work, right?
24:33And months and months
24:34afterwards, those were the
24:35faces of people on the street
24:36that they never came back.
24:39But I wasn't going to give up
24:41hope.
24:41My job is to find him and bring
24:44him home because there was no
24:46way I was going to phone his
24:47mum and tell her that I hadn't
24:49found him.
24:49My mum on Wednesday, September
24:5212th, she had to file a missing
24:53person's report because my dad
24:56wasn't home.
24:57When we were waiting to register
24:59him as missing, it started to
25:01ripple through the line, the
25:02hysteria.
25:04I know that I had one moment
25:05where I broke down and was kind
25:07of like inconsolable.
25:09A woman who was standing a
25:11couple of feet away from me, she
25:12was sobbing and it was loud and
25:15I could just feel myself starting
25:17to unravel a little bit.
25:19Something happened to me that
25:20day.
25:20whatever bit of like innocence
25:23that I had left was gone after
25:26that.
25:27I found out that the plane went
25:29through Tower 1 from the 93rd floor
25:32up through to, I think it was about
25:3496.
25:36The chances of him surviving was
25:39negligible.
25:40It was like seven, eight months I worked
25:45down there in the recovery.
25:47Recovering anything, you know, at that
25:49point, bodies and also DNA.
25:53Anything we can get, you know, we hand
25:55over.
25:56We weren't able to have a funeral because
25:57there was nothing to bury.
26:00We had a memorial planned for him.
26:03So the night before, a police officer
26:05shows up at our door and they tell us
26:09that they found my dad's body the night
26:11before.
26:11We were invited to go down and I was
26:14presented with an urn which contained soil
26:18from the World Trade Center site.
26:20We had like a viewing time for just the
26:22family in the funeral home before we went
26:25to the church.
26:26And not to get too morbid, but you could
26:28still smell like a decaying body.
26:30Like you could smell it if you were
26:31standing next to it.
26:34And I'm 13.
26:35It was a lovely gesture, but yeah, just
26:38felt very overwhelmed and, you know, it
26:41sort of felt very final.
26:43But yeah, to this day, Craig has not been
26:45formally identified.
26:48Well, just under 3,000 people died
26:51directly.
26:52Everyone I worked with was on my floor
26:55who were there that morning.
26:56There was very, very few of us who managed
26:58to get out.
27:00But how many people died from smoke and
27:04dust inhalation, we don't know.
27:07And also a lot of other firefighters died in
27:10the next 10 years with cancers.
27:12It's almost guaranteed that every three weeks
27:14we have some kind of funeral.
27:17It's been like that for the past 24 years.
27:20And it's, uh, it's ongoing.
27:21Everybody thinks of 9-11 as like one trauma.
27:33For me, it was like many, many, many
27:35re-traumatizations over time.
27:39You know, it's like I'll be in my car
27:41listening to the radio and there's a 9-11 reference.
27:43It just takes me by surprise.
27:44Like my stomach's in my throat all of a sudden.
27:47And like, oh, there it is.
27:48I can't watch movies or documentaries or any
27:52reporting about September 11 event because I just
27:55don't want to see it anymore 25 years later.
27:58The only people I really actually talked to about this
28:00that day, you know, I don't talk to anybody about this.
28:04I disengaged with that discussion because everyone has
28:07their own kind of like, everyone wants to own it for a
28:09different reason.
28:09Everybody remembers what they were doing at that exact
28:12moment in time.
28:13But I don't care, you know, that you were eating Wheaties
28:16or whatever you were doing because my dad was dying.
28:20If one person had died, there's a friend of yours who
28:23takes a lot of getting over.
28:25You just can't process grief or loss on that scale.
28:29You don't see people blown out of windows every day.
28:32You don't see people burning to death every day.
28:35Putting this in a box and putting it away and not thinking
28:38too much about it.
28:40It's been quite a good strategy for me.
28:42You don't want to open that up in a Pandora box, you know.
28:45Time is interesting in that the grief never leaves you,
28:52but you learn different ways to be able to manage it.
28:57A few years later, I've met someone else and we get married
29:00in 2006 and then I have my son in 2012.
29:05I don't want to forget Craig.
29:07But I don't want the grief of all that, I don't want to bring
29:13that into my new relationship because it is so full of joy.
29:19It's taken a long time for me to actually find that balance
29:22where they actually sit side by side and that's okay.
29:27I think as I've gotten older, I've gotten married,
29:31had a bunch of these milestones happen, I think it's gotten harder actually.
29:36Like I feel like I've been able to process more of my grief.
29:39Don't get me wrong, there are days where I've been completely dismal
29:42and crying uncontrollably.
29:44Never going to Australia like with my dad and like my dad will never meet
29:48my husband, he'll never meet my children.
29:50like those things are really hard.
29:52I think that that event, one thing that I question
29:56if would my life be different if that didn't exist
30:00where I saw a thousand people dying in one moment,
30:02what would my life be like?
30:04Who would I be had this not happened to me?
30:08I would have this completely different life.
30:38I would have this never been true,
30:40but I'd like to say,
30:42I would have this never met him until the end of the day
30:45I would have this CHAD
30:45END
30:47You
30:51and this
30:53have…
30:55What was this?
30:58What was this?
31:00Here's the question of this experiment.
31:03What were the ever interesting days when producers
31:05love
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