- 4 giờ trước
Tonight - Season 2025 Episode 25
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01:41và các bạn có thể thấy không biết được gì đó.
01:44Nói cảm giống như khi chúng ta có thể làm gì hết,
01:47chúng ta sẽ thực sự làm gì hết.
01:51Các bạn có thể tìm kiếm được một sản phẩm ở Boulton
01:55để tìm kiếm được từ shoppers làm gì đó.
01:58Tôi có quyết định, tôi có quyết định,
02:00tôi có quyết định, tôi có quyết định, tôi có quyết định của tôi.
02:05Tôi không nghĩ người có quyết định bởi vì không có quyết định giải quyết định.
02:11The only thing I've really thought of is life insurance
02:15but when it comes to anything further than that
02:18I don't think I've really done much
02:20I've got absolutely everything prepared
02:22because it's inevitable death
02:24we all know about that don't we
02:26It gives you peace of mind
02:27knowing on your deathbed
02:29everything is all prepared
02:32It's about being practical really
02:34and not leaving things for other people to do
02:36because it gets quite complicated
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06:28nữa nhưng cũng có thể đạt đồng minh là NGC,
06:30cũng có một sản phẩm thống như một tình hình lạc ở tiền thống như vậy.
06:33Hội đồng phân của dân tức là một cách tốt nhất là một tên to eight ou đồng sáng tốt là một cách hay để phép cập nhật của mình.
06:38Đó là một cách tốt nhất là một cách tốt nhất để các học tốt nhất để đạt được.
06:45Đó là một cách tốt nhất cho các bạn hẻ đơn.
06:46Đó là một cách tốt nhất là một cách tốt nhất.
06:49Nó là một cách tốt nhất của mình, và một cách tốt nhất của họ nhận thử nguồn.
06:53But it's estimated over half of UK adults aged 18 and over don't have a will.
06:58And it's a similar figure even in the older age bracket of 50 to 64.
07:04It's not difficult or time consuming or expensive.
07:07There's lots of charities, for example, that are part of different schemes
07:10like Free Wills Month or Wills Aid
07:12that will allow you to get a will either an individual or a couple written for free of charge.
07:18Please don't delay, it's so easy to delay it
07:21but we never know what's around the next corner.
07:24We've had sort of off-the-cuff conversations, haven't we?
07:27Just at home over dinner or something, but we don't have anything down in writing.
07:31I'll probably write it in a book somewhere and hope you find it.
07:36Knowing what my mum's drawers look like, very scary.
07:39I've made it very clear with my will about who gets exactly what.
07:44We were in our early 30s when we made our first will.
07:47We've always changed it to make sure it reflects the situation that we're in.
07:52No, I've not made a will yet.
07:55I am a solicitor, but I don't deal with wills, so it's something that I've thought about.
08:00I think I'm just waiting to retire and then put something in place then, I think.
08:04If you don't make a will, then what's called the laws of intestacy apply,
08:12and the state gives effect to how your estate will be divided.
08:17The rules are actually quite complicated, and if you've got a partner, a cohabitee,
08:24then that cohabitee, even after 20 years, will get nothing if you haven't made a will.
08:30So it's particularly important.
08:34But just the thought of end-of-life admin can be overwhelming.
08:38Like many retired couples, Paul and Debbie from Altrincham in Greater Manchester have made a start.
08:44Now they need some guidance on what to do next.
08:47We have got a will, which we made a long time ago.
08:52Yeah, and that does need updating. That does need revising.
08:56Yeah, it does.
08:57But that's it, really.
08:59We definitely need to start doing something about it sooner than later, really.
09:03Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
09:06Age UK's Lifebook is one of many tools designed to help.
09:11It has a detailed checklist of areas to consider,
09:15and Paul and Debbie are hoping it will guide them in the right direction.
09:18OK, so it's got six sections here.
09:23So, personal details, yeah, OK.
09:27A medical, health, work contacts.
09:32Put all the details at the bank.
09:35Your will, funeral wishes.
09:38What songs do you want played or sung?
09:43Have to think about that one.
09:46Up until now, I had not given it that degree of thought.
09:49I think we need to decide about, certainly about the funeral,
09:53and what we want to happen, and music, and about obsessions as well.
10:00That was another thing.
10:02It's really designed to take people through a thought process.
10:05We're trying to make sure, as much as possible,
10:07all the different parts of someone's life is captured.
10:10And importantly, have the conversation with your loved ones,
10:12or with your close family friends.
10:15Make sure they know what your wishes would be if the worst was to happen.
10:19Paul and Debbie have decided to take that advice
10:22by having a chat with their eldest son, Jamie.
10:26It kind of felt a bit awkward at first when they wanted to talk about that,
10:29and they wanted to kind of bring it up.
10:30But I'm glad we did it, actually.
10:32And it means we can speak about it, you know, more easily moving forwards.
10:36We can really get things right with some of their desires and wishes for
10:40how they want things to be left and passed on, and how they kind of want to be remembered as well.
10:46Basically, it's about preparing for us dying.
10:51Things like who's going to be the executor, power of attorney, all that sort of stuff.
10:57But once it's been completed, everybody can have a copy.
11:00Yeah.
11:01Put it somewhere safe so you know where it is for when the day arrives.
11:06Yeah. A long way away, I hope.
11:09Oh, indeed.
11:11I'm glad he feels okay about it, because we can, you know, it's a start now, isn't it?
11:15We'll go through it and make some decisions.
11:18Obviously, there are important decisions to be made before we commit it to the paper, so to speak.
11:22And we'll be back with Paul and Debbie later in the programme to find out how they got on.
11:28I think people often put it off because they say, oh, it's so complex.
11:33I don't even know where to start. There's so many considerations.
11:36If you get the process started now, you know, this weekend, sit down, have a look at it.
11:41You know, that's a really important first step.
11:43So just get it out of the way now. Your future self will thank you.
11:48Sometimes, though, even when you think you're across everything, you can run into problems.
11:53Mum was a very traditional lady, very homely. My dad, when he was mobile, would do an awful lot in the garden.
12:02As an only child, Claire decided to plan ahead with her parents, William and Jean.
12:10She got power of attorneys and wills set up in advance and made a conscious effort to stay on top of the admin.
12:16Everything had been quite well organised, really. I had all the paperwork available to my fingertips,
12:25but I hadn't explored what I actually needed to do in the event of bereavement.
12:31In March 2023, William was admitted to hospital following a fall.
12:37A few weeks later, Jean passed away at home. William died in hospital shortly after.
12:44So that was within a week of each other.
12:47You just sit and ponder what do you do next and how do you do it?
12:54So some mornings I'd sit and just write out a list.
12:58I can just remember spending virtually all day making telephone calls and writing notes down.
13:05Claire became concerned after learning that her parents' bank, Halifax, had only processed the payment for her father's funeral.
13:13It was a glitch because her mother's name had been taken off their joint account, but no one had let her know.
13:20Nobody contacted me or rang me to say we've received this documentation, but we're not able to pay it for this reason or whatever.
13:30Nothing happened.
13:31So I rang the Halifax.
13:34Everything seemed to be, oh, I'll need to find out and call you back or just put you on hold for five minutes while you're waiting.
13:42At that point in your life, when you need that to be the most paramount customer service you could ever want to receive, that is what it needs to be.
13:54Months later, Claire also had problems with probate.
13:57She sent off the paperwork for both parents in the same envelope at the same time, but she received two very different replies.
14:07One morning I had an email to say dad's probate had been granted.
14:11Seven minutes later, I had another email about my mum's probate.
14:17But when I opened that email, that was asking about my father's whereabouts and why hadn't I mentioned him in the paperwork that had been submitted.
14:27You do have to sit and think, this is nothing that I'm doing wrong.
14:32This is all these other companies and teams of people that are just not performing.
14:39Both issues were ultimately resolved, but it created extra admin and extra stress that Claire could have done without.
14:47Halifax told us, we recognise our service fell below what was expected of us at such a difficult time.
14:54We've listened closely to what she's told us about the experience and we're sorry for the distress caused.
14:59Meanwhile, the Ministry of Justice, which oversees the probate registry, says although both forms were sent together, by law, each one has to be processed separately.
15:10It told us, we understand how distressing it can be to deal with paperwork after a bereavement.
15:15We are always working to improve our guidance so it is clearer and easier for people to use.
15:23Claire has now moved into her parents' bungalow.
15:27But she's been left with a lifetime's worth of belongings to sort through and some difficult decisions to make.
15:33So, this cabinet has got many memories here with all the different crystal decanters.
15:41These have lasted probably over 50 years.
15:43They're rock-solid armchairs.
15:46Very difficult to know what to do with these.
15:48As soon as you start doing something, you start sifting and then you sit down, you have another memory.
15:58And you just put things to one side and think, I'll do that next week.
16:05A recent survey found 44% of UK adults find it difficult to get rid of items in their homes, even if they've not used them in years.
16:15And over a third of us feel overwhelmed by clutter.
16:18These are not light subjects and light decisions to make.
16:24So, at a time when we feel sometimes most emotionally worn, threadbare and find it difficult to cope ourselves,
16:32then they can be difficult times when we're making some really important decisions.
16:36Dealing with grief can be one of the hardest things we'll ever experience.
16:42The prospect of our own death or losing others is something many of us avoid thinking about.
16:49It's really, really important.
16:50It's the one thing we are 100% certain of that we are going to die.
16:55But people just don't want to talk about it.
16:57It seems like a bit of a taboo, really, talking about your death in a way.
17:01It's almost an acknowledgement or a commitment to something going wrong or something happening in your life
17:10that perhaps you don't really want to think about.
17:14And I think people my age probably tend to put that off.
17:18Not talking about death until we absolutely need to is, for most of us, entirely understandable.
17:24It's not by far the easiest thing to talk about, is it?
17:27But what we know is that if we open up the conversation and we start to have some of those conversations earlier,
17:33before the death, it benefits us to do so.
17:37One idea to help us get talking more about the topic is a death cafe.
17:42Let's go and have our death cafe upstairs.
17:46Chesham in Buckinghamshire is one of several areas which holds a regular death cafe.
17:51The meetings are a confidential, private space to talk openly about death.
17:57But today, a group have agreed to meet for us and be filled.
18:01It is about making it more acceptable to talk about death.
18:06If we don't talk about it, we're not going to do the things that we ideally do before we die.
18:12The more you talk about it, the more perspective you get.
18:16There is nothing morbid about it.
18:18It is such a natural part of life, and that's what we have to get back to.
18:24It's my first time at a death cafe here today.
18:28It's always been something that I thought everyone should plan or be aware of and sort of have some control over.
18:34I can say I was fortunate enough to be with both my parents as they died, which was a really meaningful thing.
18:44But dying can be expensive.
18:50This year, the average cost of a basic funeral hit an all-time high of nearly £4,300.
18:57So it can pay to plan ahead.
19:01Edward Cox works at a funeral home in Pontefract in West Yorkshire.
19:05And despite being only 22, every detail of his funeral is already meticulously planned and paid for.
19:13I was 20 years old when I took the plan out.
19:16And I had a lot of thought before then of what I'd really like.
19:21All the people in my family thought, oh, you don't need to be thinking about that now.
19:25But I thought, why not?
19:27Why not get it sorted now?
19:28So this is the dark oak and this is the coffin which I've chosen on my funeral plan.
19:36And I would want all of the lining to be emerald green inside the coffin.
19:42I hope I live a long life and a happy life.
19:45But it's there and it's in place whenever it needs to be used.
19:49Hopefully not for a long time.
19:51It's an investment in the future.
19:54It's out of my mind.
19:55No, I don't have to worry about it at all.
19:58Edward is certainly bucking the trend.
20:01According to research from Co-op Funeral Care, only 5% of UK adults have a funeral plan in place.
20:08And the average age that we take one out is 73.
20:13I think as a younger person it feels a bit of a strange thing to sort of take out like a funeral plan in my 30s.
20:20I think I've just thought if I do pass away, I'll just have a pauper's funeral.
20:25I think that's what they call it.
20:26Yeah, I think we do need to have that chat, probably.
20:31I don't want you dressing me up like a clown in my coffin or anything like that.
20:36I've got the music prepared.
20:38Even the meal, I've got that prepared.
20:40So everything's in place.
20:41I want to have a wicker basket.
20:45So I'm cremated in that.
20:47Although it's all in the will, I talk to my kids about it all the time, what I want.
20:53In Altrincham, Greater Manchester, it's now two weeks since retirees Paul and Debbie started a conversation about their end of life wishes.
21:01So significant possessions.
21:04OK, well yours is definitely going to be your albums.
21:07Oh yes, the Vidal Collection.
21:09Yeah, but I know.
21:10That's pretty significant.
21:12They've been busy planning and getting their affairs in order.
21:15What would you like at the funeral?
21:18What songs?
21:20What kind of funeral?
21:22Poems, eulogy.
21:24It needs a lot more thought.
21:26So I think we can fill in some of it, but I think we need to take more time.
21:30It may be a while yet before they get all of the admin finished, but they're feeling determined now after making a start.
21:39Actually, I wish we'd had it when my mother died, for instance.
21:43It would have made life a lot easier.
21:46So it's well worth doing.
21:47Absolutely.
21:49Right, we must finish it off.
21:51We must.
21:54Back in Bristol, Dorothy is trying to keep busy.
21:57I'm going to start off by putting in some snowdrops and crocuses here.
22:07I think Melvin would absolutely love it.
22:10Four months have now passed since she lost her husband Melvin.
22:15And apart from the power of attorney, she feels they were well prepared for his passing.
22:20They talked and they planned.
22:22And she hopes their story will inspire others to do the same.
22:27And I console myself that we had nothing left unsaid.
22:31We'd said the important things to each other.
22:34If we hadn't had those conversations, I think I would have been really floundering now.
22:39I'm grieving.
22:40Of course I'm grieving.
22:41And I will grieve for a very long time.
22:43But he's given me some kind of inner strength that even I didn't know that I had.
22:51So have those difficult conversations.
22:54Know what's going to happen.
22:56Because it makes it easier when you lose a loved one.
23:00And if you've been affected by any of the issues raised in this programme,
23:08you can find details of organisations that offer advice and support on our website.
23:13ITV.com forward slash tonight.
23:16For now, good evening and thank you for watching.
23:20Coming up in two weeks time, Kate Quilton looks at the rising cost of food.
23:25Every time I come out the supermarket, I'm annoyed because of the cost.
23:30I just look at what I've got in my trolley and it's barely anything compared to what I used to get years ago.
23:37Next on ITV1, we meet a woman searching for her older brother
23:47and a man determined to find his eldest daughter in brand new long lost family.
23:52Next on ITV1, we see a woman searching for her older brother and her daughter in brand new long lost family.
24:09Next on ITV1, we'll see you on YouTube.
24:15Let's see You're talking about yourself.
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