Man’s Desperate Attempt to Make Ex-Girlfriend Jealous

Mystery Happened

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Transcript

00:00You called me. You need to let me go. Like, you actually need to move on.

00:04Why would I call you? What do you move on for? Like, what? Have you moved on?

00:08I most definitely have.

00:11Okay. How do you know I haven't moved on?

00:15Because I know that you haven't moved on. You're just sad. Like, you're just on me.

00:21Nah, listen. Help me out, help me out. Look, that's my ex, right?

00:26She said she's moved on. I beg you to pretend to be someone that I'm with now.

00:29Are you joking? I'm being serious, please. I never asked for anything.

00:33Hey, hey, you know what? I'm a preacher. I'm not even thinking about you anymore.

00:37Please, please. Please, you got this, yeah? Please.

00:40I know. Why do you keep putting me on me?

00:42Nah, you're not going to... Listen, listen. Obviously, I've moved on from here.

00:45I just wanted to show you that I'm with a new girl right now.

00:49I'm with Stacey right now. Say hi to Stacey.

00:52Yeah. Hi.

00:54Yeah? Who's that?

00:56Stacey, that's my new girl, man. Way better than you.

01:00All right. How much did you pay to hire her?

01:04Why would I pay anyone anything? Are you crazy?

01:07Because you're just sad.

01:08He hasn't... He hasn't... Excuse me? He hasn't paid me, thank you.

01:12And he's not sad. He's not sad.

01:15He's obviously, you know, just not quite over this breakup.

01:18And that's why he's just giving you a quick ring for reasons I don't know.

01:22I can't lie. What do you mean I'm not over the breakup? I'm over her, man. I'm with you now.

01:26This is a conversation between me and him. I don't know why you're getting involved.

01:28Why are you bringing him?

01:30Because she's involved because she's with me now.

01:32Excuse me? Why am I getting involved?

01:33Do you have a laugh?

01:35Well, keep her in her lane, please.

01:37Why do you keep her in her lane? Babe, are you crazy?

01:40Keep me in my lane? Are you having a laugh?

01:42Who is this? Who is this?

01:43I don't know who she's talking to.

01:45You're for the streets anyway.

01:49My new girl, you're getting me, Stacey.

01:51She's for me. Do you get it?

01:52Okay. Okay.

01:53That's the difference.

01:54How many times did you come back to me?

01:56I never came back to you, man.

01:58You were there barely by line every single time.

02:00Listen.

02:01Because you're in part of a new girl, please don't come with your attitude, yeah?

02:06You need to relax. Stay in your lane.

02:08I don't know who you think you're talking to.

02:09First of all, yeah, watch your tone.

02:12Second of all, yeah.

02:12I'm way, I'm way happier with Stacey than I ever was with you.

02:16Do you know why, yeah?

02:17Okay, congratulations.

02:17She does everything better than you.

02:19You get me?

02:20Okay.

02:20Her touch is better than yours.

02:22Her voice is better than yours.

02:23She sounds better than you.

02:24She moans better than you.

02:25Everything's way better.

02:26I think it's time to end this school, yeah?

02:28Huh?

02:29Why have you been calling me for the past five days?

02:31No one's called you anything.

02:32And Stacey, I beg you to tell her that I've been with you for the last five days.

02:35He's been with me for the last five days.

02:37Okay, but when he's not with you, he's there calling my phone,

02:40asking me to go back to him.

02:42So, please, pipe down.

02:44Because I don't know who you think you are.

02:46I don't even know you.

02:48Listen.

02:48Pipe down, honey.

02:50Tell her, tell her.

02:51Get her home.

02:51This man, you do not know what you're missing.

02:54He's lovely.

02:55Yeah.

02:56Tell her, tell her, tell her what a street cat she's been

02:59and why she'll never find anyone ever again.

03:01Tell her.

03:02Right, listen, you're a street cat.

03:04You'll never find anyone ever again, okay?

03:05Yeah, you heard that.

03:09Yeah, you're going to find no one.

03:11Okay, you're funny, you're funny.

03:12Look, me and Stacey, me and Stacey are about to go to Krispy Kremes

03:16and get those donuts that you used to love in it.

03:18But I'm going to do, you know what I mean?

03:19Me and her are going to do that now.

03:21All those things that me and you used to do together,

03:22I'm going to do with Stacey now.

03:23Just knowing that you messed up.

03:25You lost out on a good one.

03:26You're just a joke, man.

03:29Like, you actually really called my friend

03:31just to show me you got someone new.

03:33You're...

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