- 11 months ago
Andrew Santino goes online to answer the internet’s questions. The American comedian and actor responds to questions on Quora, Reddit and X, as well as fact-checking Wikipedia and replying to YouTube, TikTok and Instagram comments.
Director: Kristen DeVore
Director of Photography: Grant Bell
Editor: JY Chun
Talent: Andrew Santino
Producer: Sam Dennis
Line Producer: Jen Santos
Production Manager: James Pipitone
Production Coordinator: Elizabeth Hymes
Talent Booker: Mica Medoff
Camera Operator: Shay Eberle-Gunst
Sound Mixer: Gray Thomas-Sowers
Production Assistant: Spencer Mathesen
Groomer: Vanessa Rene
Post Production Supervisor: Jess Dunn
Supervising Editor: Rob Lombardi
Additional Editor: Ryan Jeffrey
Assistant Editor: Justin Symonds
Director: Kristen DeVore
Director of Photography: Grant Bell
Editor: JY Chun
Talent: Andrew Santino
Producer: Sam Dennis
Line Producer: Jen Santos
Production Manager: James Pipitone
Production Coordinator: Elizabeth Hymes
Talent Booker: Mica Medoff
Camera Operator: Shay Eberle-Gunst
Sound Mixer: Gray Thomas-Sowers
Production Assistant: Spencer Mathesen
Groomer: Vanessa Rene
Post Production Supervisor: Jess Dunn
Supervising Editor: Rob Lombardi
Additional Editor: Ryan Jeffrey
Assistant Editor: Justin Symonds
Category
🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00Hello.
00:01Hey, Mom, I'm doing a thing for GQ right now.
00:04And we're reading these questions from the internet.
00:06One of them is a statement saying,
00:08they have to get you more on my podcast,
00:10because you sound like you'd be good.
00:12Um.
00:14Hey, what's up, GQ?
00:15It's Andrew Santino.
00:16And today, I'm going undercover on the internet.
00:21But it's actually me.
00:23It's me for real.
00:25Reddit.
00:30The most toxic place on planet Earth.
00:34Does anyone else think he looks like a character
00:36from Wallace and Gromit?
00:38Dude, that's actually very good.
00:40I do have Wallace and Gromit face, though.
00:42And I love them, dude.
00:43I'll take that.
00:45Replied.
00:46Why doesn't Andrew leave LA?
00:48He is constantly complaining about it.
00:50It's not like he needs to be in LA to audition for shit
00:52or hit mics every night anymore.
00:54So stop talking about it and do it.
00:56All right, Gators 331, let me move in with you.
00:59Let me blow up my life and leave Los Angeles,
01:01destroy a studio that I've built where I employ 12 people.
01:04Let me ruin everyone's lives and I'll move in with you,
01:06Gator 3331.
01:08I assume that means you live in Florida,
01:09South Florida more specifically.
01:11I'm coming over.
01:12So I hope you got a bunk bed ready for your boy.
01:15Andrew Santino is so hot, WTF.
01:19And then someone wrote, nice try, Tito Andrew.
01:21And someone else wrote, bold of you to assume this is Andrew,
01:23and not Bobby.
01:24Now, this is the kind of playful stuff
01:26that we love from our fans.
01:27Our fans are so funny.
01:29One comment will be like, Andrew Santino's
01:31a liberal Hollywood cuck sellout.
01:33And that guy below will be like, Santino's a Trump
01:36or boot licker corporate slug.
01:38They can't even decide how they hate me.
01:40It's pretty rad.
01:42How are we feeling about Richie?
01:44I feel like he is one of the best additions in a while.
01:45He has instantly snapped into improv-ing with Bobby and Andrew.
01:48And you can tell Bobby likes him in the video version.
01:50He's like the boy version of Rudy, but on speed.
01:52We love Richie.
01:53Little Richie is an intern, and we love him so very much.
01:56I'm a little concerned about the bodies he may have in his trunk.
01:59But overall, I like him.
02:02Santino looks exactly like Bruce Harwood in the X-Files.
02:05Good God.
02:06That does look like, that is, I hate that that looks like me.
02:09That's me, I guess.
02:10And somebody goes, that's his dad.
02:11I will die on this hill.
02:13No, that's not my, that's not my dad.
02:14That child is younger than me.
02:16But I get that, and I get Scott Grimes.
02:18I don't think I look like this guy.
02:19Bruce Harwood, I look a little bit like that guy.
02:22That kind of annoys me.
02:24Is that what I look like?
02:25Ugh.
02:26Andrew Santino and Scott Grimes look alike.
02:28God damn it.
02:29There it is.
02:30They should do a show with Scott Grimes
02:31because the similarities are pretty funny.
02:32For three years, I thought Andrew Santino
02:33would play Gordon on The Orville.
02:34These Hollywood gingers all look the same.
02:36We don't all look alike, okay?
02:38Stop saying I look like Ed Sheeran.
02:40I don't.
02:41Stop ginge hate.
02:43This is for everyone who is pressed about my last post.
02:45Santino does look like him.
02:47And I wrote my brother doing his thing.
02:48I do look like that man.
02:50And I have made that face a lot.
02:52That's ginger agony.
02:53I know that very well.
02:55Cora, I've never, I don't know anything about it.
02:57I hate the name.
02:58Who inspires Andrew Santino's stand-up comedy style?
03:01Mmm, probably Kim Jong-un.
03:03Pretty close to him.
03:05I would say a combination of 90s comedy movies
03:09with Jim Carrey, a lot of Farley,
03:12and Eddie Murphy, because him and I have a ton in common.
03:16What is your review of Andrew Santino's acting
03:18in the FX comedy series Dave opposite Lil Dicky?
03:22What's my review?
03:24Mid at best.
03:26I'm fine.
03:27I'm fine.
03:28My acting is Subway sandwiches.
03:32It's not good, but you're gonna eat it.
03:36Why is comic Andrew Santino not more famous?
03:40Rude.
03:41Uh, why am I not more famous?
03:43I'm as famous as I need to be.
03:45I like to float in my little kiddie pool.
03:47I don't need to go to the Olympic pool.
03:49Famous is a scary thing.
03:50I get yelled at all the time.
03:52I'm Bobby Mom.
03:53I get yelled at every day of my life.
03:55I don't need more I'm Bobby Moms
03:57when I walk around in public.
03:59So I think that's plenty for me.
04:01Thanks, Cora.
04:03TikTok.
04:04I love TikTok.
04:05I'm gonna sue them because I've,
04:07I've wasted so much time on this app.
04:09It's unbelievable.
04:10Jay Mongo says, why are you in Happy Gilmore 2?
04:15Well, thanks, Jay.
04:16Um, I am a golfer.
04:18I love golf.
04:19I'm an old white.
04:20So that's what we do.
04:23They reached out and said, will you be in it?
04:24I said, I'd love to golf.
04:26And they said, we don't want you to golf.
04:27We just want to use your studio.
04:31Botar the Great says, Bobby doesn't make him laugh like that.
04:34Bobby does make me laugh like that.
04:36My little dumpling is the funniest man on earth.
04:38He's my sweet, sweet little Sukumann ramen man.
04:42Better watch how you talk about Bobo.
04:45Achwel Foley.
04:46Amazing reference, by the way.
04:47This is one of the greatest usernames.
04:50The Great Bronson Pinchot said this line in Beverly Hills Cop.
04:54Axel Foley.
04:55Axel.
04:56Achwel.
04:57Axel.
04:59Foley's here to see her.
05:00Why isn't he more famous, GQ?
05:02Achwel Foley said, Santino OnlyFans when?
05:05The time is now.
05:06I'm not getting a lot of acting work.
05:08This face isn't going to get any prettier.
05:10Thanks to Vanessa who did my makeup earlier.
05:13So I'll go home and start taking pictures.
05:15Please comment below what body parts you don't want to see.
05:21This one is from Marvin the Martian.
05:23Another great reference.
05:24I'm assuming Andrew's invited to Travis and Taylor's wedding.
05:27Ah, this is in reference to the time that I punked Taylor Swift.
05:31We lit a boat on fire and I was the groom.
05:33And I said, you ruined my wedding, Taylor Swift.
05:36She was heartbroken.
05:37No, I'm definitely not going to the wedding.
05:39You know why?
05:41Because why is Andrew Santino not more famous?
05:43That's why.
05:45You too.
05:51Andrew Santino looks like if Canelo Alvarez wasn't good at boxing and instead lived a hard life as a homeless person.
05:56That is so fact, that's unbelievable.
05:58Yeah, I look like shit there.
05:59I was swollen from probably binge boozing and I was so nervous to smack Ed Helms on the hand.
06:03I screwed it up like six times.
06:05It was my one of my first TV roles and I was on The Office.
06:07Like I was so nervous to do that.
06:10I'm glad I became the villain of The Office.
06:11People hate me.
06:12And yes, I still have that sweater.
06:13And no, you cannot buy it.
06:17Andrew got to get his mom on here.
06:19The time she got her on the phone, she sounds like she would be good on here.
06:21I do love my mom.
06:22She is the greatest woman alive.
06:24Probably the most beautiful, sweet person.
06:26And yes, she would be great on the show.
06:28Let's call her.
06:29We got to give moms a ring.
06:33Hello.
06:34Hey, mom, I'm doing a thing for GQ right now.
06:36And we're reading these questions from the internet.
06:39One of them is a statement saying they have to get you more on my podcast because you sound like you'd be good.
06:47Good pause.
06:48Good pause, mom.
06:49Good pause.
06:49What are you doing right now?
06:50Okay.
06:51Oh, I'm laying down because I'm exhausted because we've been working all day and morning on this house.
06:57They've been working.
06:58I put my parents to work.
06:59For people that don't know, I have a senior factory.
07:03I go and hire seniors.
07:05And I only hire people over 65 to do manual labor.
07:09So we're breaking her back pretty good.
07:11All right, only rest for five and then get back to work, please, okay?
07:14Yes, thank you so much.
07:15Yeah, we need that stuff moved.
07:17Okay, bye.
07:18Love ya.
07:19Yeah, maybe she'll be on the show one day when she's done working.
07:24Instagram.
07:25How did he make Larry David break character?
07:29Does he still talk to him?
07:31Larry and I do not talk, but I love Larry David so very much.
07:35I made him break by doing noises.
07:37We built a urinal.
07:38I was the engineer that built the P-Cube.
07:41Voila.
07:42The P-Cube.
07:44I like it.
07:45You sure do.
07:46I would say, depending on your penis size and height, the urinal would move.
07:50It'd have a sliding door and it would go, do-do-do, penis detected.
07:53Whoop.
07:54And I think the whoop really got Larry or I'd go, penis too large.
07:58Do-do-do-do-do.
07:59Like it was shutting down.
08:00Cannot handle this penis.
08:02So, it was all that stuff.
08:03X.
08:05I don't know why, but Andrew Santino's face looks so soothing and pleasant to me, like
08:11a calm river on a beautiful sunset.
08:13I don't know if that's being facetious, but that's very nice.
08:16One time, a girl at a college bar told me, I love your eyes.
08:20I said, thank you.
08:22And she said, they look like dirty lake water.
08:24And I'll never forget that.
08:26That's the Midwest's finest.
08:28Dirty lake water.
08:29Right here.
08:30They better give Andrew Santino a spin-off of Dave.
08:33I'm talking entourage levels of writing and comedy for today's audience.
08:35He's a manager for Dave and wants to branch out.
08:38Why not make it a show about starting an agency?
08:40Coulda, woulda, shoulda.
08:41But I don't even know if they're making comedy TV anymore.
08:44It's just procedurals, man.
08:45It's procedurals and the bear.
08:47That's what's out there.
08:48The bear.
08:49It's a drama in an Italian beef restaurant.
08:52Shut up.
08:53That's so mean, because I love Chris Storr, who made that show.
08:56But I'm from Chicago and I haven't been featured on that show.
08:58So, what the fuck?
09:00I'm a golfer, I'm not in any of these golf shows.
09:02The business can kiss my ass.
09:04Why did the Netflix show Beef not cast Bobby Lee as Andrew Santino's partner?
09:08Wow.
09:09What a miss.
09:10Eli.
09:11Very clever.
09:12Very observational.
09:13That character was actually written for Bobby.
09:15The character's name is Bobby.
09:17But Bobby had to go to rehab.
09:18He got healthier and better and now he's back and my boy looks good.
09:23Why the fuck does Andrew Santino have a better golf swing than me?
09:26Well, STD is in your username, which is not chill at all, unless you're being very forward
09:31with people that you're dating and I think that's also healthy.
09:34STDEZ.
09:35I have a better golf swing than you because it's the one thing that I can do now as an
09:38old white.
09:39I gave up everything else.
09:40So if you ever want to play STDEZ, maybe we'll go head to head.
09:45And that's not a penis reference, given your handle.
09:48I don't want to come near that thing.
09:50Am I the only one who thinks Andrew Santino bitch-tits Santino?
09:54Am I the only one that thinks Andrew bitch-tits Santino is not funny, says Coyote Apollo.
10:00You're probably not the only one who thinks I'm not funny.
10:03Bitch-tits is a tough shot.
10:04I think I have regular tits.
10:06Also bitch, if you're referencing my attitude maybe, I do bitch a lot and I do love tits.
10:13So I guess yeah, bitch-tits is red and thank you for saying that.
10:16We need that.
10:17As performers, we need to know that we're not funny.
10:19Wikipedia.
10:20Do you trust it?
10:22Have you donated?
10:23Leave me alone.
10:24I can't give you more money.
10:27He is known for television series and films such as Sin City Saints, The Disaster Artist,
10:34Mixology, I'm Dying Up Here, Beef and Dave.
10:37He was also the star of a YouTube web series called Dunkin' Rocks.
10:42Known for Sin City Saints, 17 people saw that show.
10:45It was a failed Yahoo experiment when Yahoo was doing TV.
10:49Shout out to Mylon Ackerman and what's the name of that show?
10:53Hunted Wives.
10:54They're killing these women.
10:56Is that what it is?
10:57Hunting.
10:58Hunting Wives.
11:00Better spin.
11:01The Disaster Artist, which I was cut out of, literally totally cut out of, I don't think
11:05I had one line, didn't find out about that until the premiere.
11:10Thanks guys.
11:12Santino grew up in the River North neighborhood of Chicago and he is of half Sicilian and half
11:17Irish descent.
11:20So literal.
11:21I did grow up in the Gold Coast actually, Gold Coast and River North.
11:25We bounced around.
11:26My mother worked for a property management company, so we lived in high rises when I was
11:30a little boy.
11:31A young lad.
11:32And then my mom remarried, had a young daughter and said, we don't want to screw up two kids.
11:37Let's go to the suburbs.
11:38My wish one time I said to a teacher was, one day I want a house on the ground.
11:42And she asked my mom, is everything okay, but we lived in high rises.
11:47Some pseudonyms.
11:48Slugger Santino.
11:49True.
11:50I got kicked out of Moody Bible for fighting.
11:54The Red Rocket.
11:55Also true, a reference to a dog's wiener, but very funny.
11:58Agent Orange.
11:59I don't know if I like that one.
12:00The reference is really sad.
12:02Cheeto Dust Cultivator.
12:03That's mean.
12:04I don't even know who did that.
12:06Cheeto Santino.
12:07That was me.
12:08Last of the Great Gingers.
12:09Joe Rogan said that one time on a podcast and that stuck.
12:12Okay.
12:13That's it for me.
12:14I am Andrew Santino and I'm signing off the internet forever.
12:18What if I died after this?
12:19Wouldn't that be dark?
12:20Let's keep this open just in case.
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