Fictional story: On the night of August 29th, 1997, somebody from Salt Lake City, UT named Frederick Mayers had attempted to turn on an Apple Newton eMate 300 computer that his friend gave him via a phony demo structure from a computer store to do his schoolwork. Things turned for the worse then...
Credits for material used in this video: (C) Mattel, Inc. for Barney logo, images, songs, and character. (C) Apple for the Newton eMate Graphic and Sounds. Pixabay for all other stock sounds and music. Bing Translator Roger voice emulated via LazyPyro: https://lazypy.ro/tts/ Apple Newton start up sound origin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar-ERKJJh5Y RandomRetroTrainGuy82 for the script in preparation of this video.
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06:23If you had entered that code, then we would have given back your session.
06:28But that did not happen.
06:30All because you decided not to listen to us, paid less attention in math class, and fooled around with the warning we gave you.
06:38That's it.
06:39As a result, Apple has placed a silent tracker on this device, which will trigger in the next 20 seconds.
06:47Not only that, I have now notified the FBI about your bullshit activity on this piece of shit academic device.
06:55You will also face full legal action for your tomfoolery.
07:00Get ready for the offense message, right now.
07:04Fuck me.
07:06No, no, no.
07:07I take it back.
07:08Federal offense detected.
07:14Federal offense detected.
07:19You have triggered the tracking monitor on this Newton E-Mate 300.
07:24The base purchase and use information has been catalogued, and will also be confiscated upon arrival of the FBI.
07:32Not just that, you will face expulsion upon receipt of this message, as we have notified your school of the violation.
07:40You are under arrest for shoplifting, a huge obstruction of justice, because you lied on a goddamn code entry screen, and conspiracy to commit device theft.
07:52Additionally, this device was part of a bait shipment of Newton E-Mate computers as part of a program designed by Interpol, and under jurisdiction of the FBI, designed to distribute fake Apple electronics to catch thieves like you.
08:09With that, your name is now on the organized crime list, effective immediately.
08:15So be it.
08:17Not getting the idea to toy with phony U-Mate computers and just taking Barney's directions seriously was the only way to evade this.
08:26Barney warned you 17 times to listen to his instructions, but you decided to take them as a joke like the foolish clown you really are.
08:35I hope you can have good luck in Provo, because that is where you will be serving a 54-year sentence now.
08:43Good fever replay, and tough shit for you, pal.
08:47Goodbye now.
08:48Don't send me to Provo prison, please.
08:56You should've got close to that mission with 30 electronics now, bud.
09:02You will never know how to face the shit that goes on through shit.
09:06Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
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