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Gogglebox Season 26 Episode 4
#RealityRealmUS
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Reality Realm US
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00:00Who can do the best dinosaur roar?
00:04Shall I Izzy do one?
00:06Can Bobby do one?
00:09Can Mummy do one?
00:14Oh, God.
00:15Can Ezra do one?
00:18Whoa! That was scary!
00:25Yes!
00:26Ooh, happy days.
00:28Oh, Daniella, I like this.
00:29He's gone and done and did it.
00:30I don't trust him because he's teetotal.
00:32Oh, no! No!
00:33Cryptic that in there. Convoluted that.
00:35Oh, no, no.
00:37What a waste of a muffin.
00:41What's that?
00:42Unacceptable!
00:44Yeah!
00:45What the hell?
00:47Is that it?
00:48There's not much evidence of man boob, is there, Mary?
00:51Oh, I hate Swiss roll.
00:52Oh, no.
00:53Oh, no.
00:55Oh, he's a badger.
00:56He is, he's a badger.
00:58Oh, man, he's got one in and one out.
01:00It's the kind of trash I adore.
01:02Was that good for you as it was for me?
01:05In the week ITV turned 70, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:11A scandal was brewing in the staff room on BBC One.
01:15You'll be able to put your side of the story across during the inquiry.
01:18I don't believe this.
01:20Because I was a supervisor, they'd always, if there was an investigation, can you take notes?
01:25Can I?
01:26I used to love it.
01:27Yeah.
01:28She's done what?
01:29And then everything said in this room is strictly private and confidential.
01:33Straight out of the door.
01:34Of course it is, of course it is.
01:36Straight in the brie room.
01:38She's been nicking!
01:40The Chelsea set hit the beach on E4.
01:46Thanks.
01:48Hello.
01:49Imagine having perky tits that you could wear a top like that with no brown walk down the beach.
01:53I was literally just thinking that.
01:57Might have been more.
02:00And ITV News was breaking all the big stories.
02:0412.30, Sunday lunch from ITV1 and STV.
02:06Now finally this evening there is just one rule that magicians must abide by.
02:10Don't reveal your secrets.
02:11That is perhaps why a pen and teller, an act seen by millions around the world.
02:15How long was that sentence?
02:17You didn't even draw a second bit of breath.
02:20The lung capacity.
02:21The lung capacity.
02:22I was waiting for some pause or something.
02:24Nothing.
02:25That's why Julie Ettingham does what she does.
02:27She's a professional man.
02:28That lung capacity man, forget it.
02:30She's like a rapper isn't she?
02:32Yeah.
02:33Do you think that before the news comes up she goes...
02:35Yeah.
02:45By the way, if I do die Mary, I want to insist on something.
02:48I don't want the Frank Sinatra song I did it my way at the funeral.
02:53You didn't do it at all, let alone doing it your way.
02:55No, I didn't do it.
02:56But also I don't want Bohemian Rhapsody either.
02:59No.
03:00Giles and his wife Mary.
03:02What do you want?
03:03I wish it could be Christmas Every Day by Slade.
03:06You couldn't want that.
03:07Erm.
03:08That would be so annoying.
03:11Annoying.
03:13Annoying right to the last minute.
03:16On Sunday night, a brand new group of brave singles were saying I do again on E4.
03:23They get married at first sight. It took you seven years to ask me.
03:27I don't want to make a mistake, do I?
03:30Coming in.
03:31Yikes.
03:32OK, this is more comfy.
03:36I haven't seen it.
03:37No, have I? Just the title makes me feel.
03:39I've heard about it, yes. I thought it was ridiculous.
03:43The first to enter the experiment is 31-year-old Sarah.
03:47See, she's getting on so she could do with getting married anyway.
03:5131's getting on?
03:52I want to be married by the time I'm 30.
03:54I usually don't get approached by men that often.
03:57I'm having too much of a good time.
03:59Oh, recruitment consultant, you know what they're like.
04:01That's a bit of you, that's a bit of you.
04:03I just love a bad boy.
04:06Oh, no.
04:08Shame.
04:09What are you looking at me for?
04:11I'm looking for a man who will cheat on me, lie to my face and call me a bitch.
04:18I really want to find a nice guy and, yeah, that somebody is just going to be my knight in shining armour.
04:25Yes.
04:26Oh, God love you.
04:27Not your usual type, doll.
04:28No.
04:29But then she'll go for the usual type, surely.
04:30I know, I know, I know.
04:32None of us learn, do we?
04:35My perfect husband would be someone who can match my energy.
04:39There we go.
04:40Oh, there he is.
04:41Is this going to be a knight in shining armour?
04:43A bit of a joker.
04:45Oh, he looks nice.
04:46I'm no expert.
04:47She don't like him.
04:48Who can have fun with me, have great sense of humour.
04:52And we're watching him laugh in slow motion to know that he's fun.
04:56If he doesn't look like what I would usually go for, it doesn't matter.
04:59I'm going to be open-minded.
05:01Will she, though?
05:02Yeah.
05:03I hope so.
05:05I've always been the cute, nice guy.
05:07Oh, look at his dimples!
05:09My friends would describe me as a cheeky chap.
05:12Oh, he's a bad boy, all right, isn't he?
05:14Oh, yeah.
05:15I love to make sure people laugh and around me are having fun.
05:18Go on, Dean, yeah?
05:19He does seem like a nice guy.
05:21He is!
05:22He does seem like a nice guy.
05:23You could take him home to your grandma.
05:25You could.
05:26He'd be a good plus one at a party.
05:28I've been lucky enough to work in a variety of professions all based around entertainment.
05:31I started years ago as a redcoat at Butlins.
05:34He ain't got no bad boy in him.
05:36At all!
05:38Like, I'm telling him, which bad boy goes to Butlins?
05:42Also a jack-of-all-trades, I do magic, I've done puppeteering.
05:46What the hell?
05:47Oh, this is not for me.
05:48OK, he's lost me a puppet.
05:49Sorry.
05:50I'm out.
05:51I can do circus skills.
05:52Singing, rapping.
05:53He is Mr Entertainer.
05:54Isn't he?
05:55I think he is what she needs, or what she thinks she wants.
05:59Yeah.
06:00But...
06:01He's not.
06:02No.
06:03He's not going to be setting your undies on fire, love.
06:05Do you know what I can say?
06:06Well, he might be as part of the magic hat, but...
06:08LAUGHTER
06:11Wedding day.
06:12Oh, God, I'm all nervous.
06:17There he is.
06:18Oh, look at him.
06:19Oh, I love the dicky bow.
06:24Hi.
06:26Oh, friends are judging already.
06:29He is definitely not Sarah's type.
06:32Yes, we know that.
06:33We know that.
06:34But she's going to be open and try something new.
06:39Oh, Yumi.
06:40Oh, Yumi.
06:41I know, I know.
06:42He's going to love her.
06:43She looks so beautiful in her dress.
06:44Look at that.
06:47There's the first look.
06:50Hey, what's your name?
06:51Sarah.
06:52What's your name?
06:53My name's Dean.
06:54Dean.
06:55Oh, I don't know.
06:56Sarah seems happy as well.
06:57Just her friends don't seem happy for her.
06:59It started off good.
07:00The personality is there.
07:01I hope she's feeling the same.
07:04Oh!
07:05She can't look at her.
07:06She's not even looking at her.
07:07Oh, no.
07:09No, I don't fancy Dean.
07:11Oh, no.
07:12Oh, no.
07:13But you don't have to fancy.
07:14It's not all about...
07:15Oh, sorry.
07:16More to marriage than that.
07:17Yeah.
07:18Doesn't matter about look, 30 seconds ago.
07:21Sarah.
07:22I don't know anything about you yet, but I can't wait to discover all the idiosyncrasies that
07:28make you who you are.
07:29Love that, Dean, man.
07:30The what?
07:31Indiosyncrasies?
07:32Indiosyncrasies?
07:33Indiosyncrasies?
07:34There's something I've prepared.
07:35Oh, I'm excited.
07:36Oh, God.
07:37Oh, dear.
07:38No.
07:39No.
07:40No.
07:41If it's magic, stop now.
07:42When I saw you in that dress today, you did more than take my breath away.
07:47Oh, no.
07:48It's a wrap!
07:49No!
07:50Fucking no!
07:51Stop!
07:52All my fears alleviate.
07:53I know we're gonna be okay.
07:54He's been a bad boy.
07:55Come on.
07:56What's up with you lot, man?
07:57Come on.
07:58You think this is why man can't get it right?
08:00Why we're matched, we may not know.
08:02Trust the experts and build a home.
08:03Oh, God.
08:04Oh, God.
08:05Like, what the hell?
08:06Are we still going?
08:07It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, then.
08:09Everybody sing with me.
08:10No!
08:11No!
08:12No!
08:13No!
08:14Everybody sing with me!
08:15When I say wed, you say ding!
08:16Wed!
08:17Wed!
08:18Oh, for heaven's sake.
08:19He's just the type of person that can't be embarrassed.
08:22Someone could pull his pants down at the altar.
08:24Oh, yeah.
08:25He just can't be shown up.
08:26Yeah.
08:27Oh, for heaven's sake.
08:28He's just the type of person that can't be embarrassed.
08:31Like, someone could pull his pants down at the altar.
08:34Oh, yeah.
08:35He just can't be shown up.
08:36Yeah.
08:37He just can't be shown up.
08:38Yeah.
08:39You never know, Jane.
08:40Maybe he will grind her down and she'll start liking him.
08:45You don't really want to grind someone down for them to begin to like you, do you?
08:49Really?
08:50Well, that's always been my strategy, Jane.
08:57How have you settled into the new job, the nabs?
09:00It was so strange on Monday, Tuesday.
09:04I felt like the new girl on the block.
09:06And I know it was the same office, but I just felt like it was a different place completely.
09:11Best friends, Abby and Georgia.
09:13Anyway, by the end of the week, I did build up the confidence to say to Holly, who I sit next to,
09:20do you mind if I eat me ham sandwich next to you?
09:23Oh, no.
09:24I'd say, yeah, go away.
09:25Bearing in mind it's only corn ham, so it doesn't smell or anything.
09:29That's so funny.
09:30Usually I have an egg sandwich though.
09:32Oh, God.
09:33Well, ask Holly about that next time.
09:35And I got confident eating the egg sandwich in the finance department, but I thought I can't come first week with an egg sandwich.
09:42I think give it a few months.
09:43Maybe it's after Christmas.
09:44On Monday night, the West Londoners were off on tour again on E4.
09:49What would you drink if he was really posh and he was in Chelsea?
09:53I don't know if Kyle was El Grey, I think. El Grey would be fine for me. Why are we talking like this?
09:59I don't really know. But people in Chelsea really have nice teeth.
10:03Can we go do the chocolate? It's all the same.
10:05I don't think so.
10:09You love this, don't you?
10:11Oh! In another life, I would be a Chelsea girl.
10:14Well, yeah, see, that's what I was getting to.
10:16I got a taxi home last night from King's Cross at about 11 o'clock and he drove all through Chelsea.
10:22I thought it's a nice place to live, you know.
10:24It's not too shabby.
10:25Yeah, I didn't see any of these Muppets.
10:27Have you never been to Thailand?
10:32My friends Linda and Jackie have been there.
10:35It's a hot spot, lots of steps.
10:38I wouldn't recommend it.
10:43Oh, I see, but at the kickboxing.
10:45Oh, yeah.
10:46Oh, I love a bit of boxing.
10:47Yeah, he's really good.
10:49That could be the reason there's a few pounds being put on.
10:52It's because I'm not doing my boxer size.
10:55Rain!
10:57Rain!
10:59Oh, it's starting to rain.
11:01Have you ever picked you up and carried you?
11:04Look at me. No, I don't think so.
11:07The only time that happened to me was when I drunkenly fell off the scooter in New York.
11:12How was your night last night?
11:14Yeah, I had a fun night. I had a really fun night.
11:16This is Freddie.
11:17Good, I'm glad.
11:18Until I saw something so sus.
11:20What?
11:21What did you see that was suspect, love?
11:23What does sus mean? Suspicious.
11:25Oh!
11:26They've been shortened nowadays.
11:28Olly had his hand on Bex's inner thigh.
11:30Oh, no!
11:31Do you know Freddie was going up with Bex?
11:33Yes.
11:34Olly and Freddie are best mates and Olly's trying to get in there with Freddie's ex.
11:38As if that's not bloody mate code, is it?
11:41I did see Bex and Olly kiss.
11:43Oh!
11:45That.
11:46Olly wouldn't do that?
11:47Well, he fucking has, pal!
11:49He would.
11:50He did, apparently.
11:51Kiss more than once.
11:52No, no, no.
11:53But he's...
11:54He's told me...
11:55Oh, Freddie's actually upset!
11:56Oh, God!
11:57He feels betrayed.
11:58Oh, mate.
11:59It's not nice news to hear.
12:00I know exactly how you feel.
12:01I know exactly how you feel.
12:02He's gutted.
12:03He's gonna...
12:04He's gonna faint.
12:05Oh!
12:06Sorry, pal!
12:07Tense!
12:08He struck me about that as well!
12:09He's fucking knocked me for six, sis!
12:11Fuck him!
12:13No, fuck him!
12:14Fuck him!
12:15Fuck him!
12:16Fuck him!
12:17They're, like, proper snogging each other on the beanbags.
12:22Is that another word for brisms?
12:25Snogging each other on the beanbags?
12:28Beanbags!
12:29I'm sorry, I misheard that.
12:30Stop it!
12:33How have you been feeling last, like, 24 hours?
12:35Are you okay?
12:36Um, I mean, obviously, it's not ideal with Freddie and I's situation.
12:39I've heard that he's pretty angry at me.
12:42Fuming.
12:43Yeah.
12:44He is.
12:45Because you should've spoke to him first, you twit.
12:47One-on-one, you start to sort of like them.
12:50Ultimately, mate.
12:51Oh, here we go.
12:53Here we come.
12:54Come on, Freddie!
12:55Yes.
12:56There's nothing really to worry about as long as you just...
13:00Oh!
13:01Ooh!
13:02What an entrance!
13:03I'm living for this!
13:05Olly, you've outdone yourself, mate.
13:08There's nothing more intimidating than a slow cat walking over.
13:12What's up, Gene?
13:13You all right?
13:14How are you?
13:15Hi, Freddie.
13:16Gigantic bell-end.
13:18Oh!
13:19Gigantic bell-end.
13:20Well, you can ask Bex about that, eh?
13:22A wallet.
13:23Do you know what a bell-end is?
13:25A what?
13:26He just said you're a gigantic bell-end.
13:28Never heard of it.
13:29I fucking...
13:30I hate you, Ollie.
13:31Oh!
13:32Would you go that far?
13:33I hate you!
13:34Come here, no.
13:35Come back and fucking deal with this like a man.
13:36If you're going to talk to me like I'm a piece of shit...
13:37Oh!
13:38Oh!
13:39He's coming back!
13:40He's coming back!
13:41You are a piece of shit, Ollie.
13:42Oh, he's shaking!
13:43You are a piece of shit, Ollie!
13:44I can't trust you.
13:45We're never going to be friends again.
13:46I mean that wholeheartedly.
13:47There is no coming back from this.
13:48Ever.
13:49Can't go where your mates exes.
13:50What have you done?
13:51If you was in the same position, me and you have broke up, and then one of your best friends
14:07moves in on me.
14:08I just say, best of luck with it!
14:10I'm a sex of that!
14:11I'm a sex of that!
14:12A bell-end.
14:13Okay, imagine a man's appendage.
14:15Oh, a bellend. Okay. Imagine a man's appendage. Oh, yeah. Okay. Have you got it now? Yeah. Okay. Well, that's a bellend. If you call someone a bellend, it's the end of their knob.
14:25Oh, I've never heard of that. It's like a dickhead. Oh, okay.
14:32Must remember that bellend.
14:33Yeah.
14:43In Bristol. Yo, man, let me never guess what I did. What's that? I went to orchestra by candlelight. Oh, I've been wanting to do that. You? Yeah, I've changed. Brothers Tremaine, Twain and Tristan. I'm not going to lie, I've changed. Best experience I've experienced for a long while. Well, yeah, so I need to do that.
15:02See, he's climbing mountains and he's doing orchestra by candlelight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's this guy, bro. What up to you, blad?
15:07At 12.35, I've changed.
15:10On Tuesday night, Waterloo Road opened up the school gates for a new term on BBC One. Have you seen this before, Lee? Do you notice I used to watch it years ago? Yeah, I like it. I would go back to high school tomorrow. Would you? I loved every minute of it. I think I would as well, you know.
15:28John Richardson, is he the comedian? Not the John Richardson. Has he turned to acting now? Bloody hell.
15:42I'll tell you what, if I actually went to school at Waterloo Road, I'd get nothing done because I'd be that starstruck. You know, I'd be like, that's Kim Marsh over there.
15:48I know Kim Marsh taking English. Yeah.
15:50What's that on the stage? Oh, my God, is that drugs?
16:00Who was sniffing before school?
16:04John Richardson!
16:09Is he taking something out of that packet to get him through the deed?
16:13Maybe, maybe.
16:14But isn't it a blessing that neither you nor I is addicted to?
16:17We're very.
16:18Cocaine.
16:19Cocaine, ketamine or fentanyl.
16:21Or the other stuff, um, skunk.
16:24Mr. Donovan!
16:26Hey, sorry, you got that, er, new starter look about you.
16:28Is this his first day?
16:30Literally a high school teacher!
16:32That's not weird!
16:36Mummy don't get it, it's all right.
16:37I had no idea, honestly.
16:39When you're ready, Mr. Charles.
16:41Is this the man in huddle?
16:42This is Darius Donovan.
16:44He will be joining us as our new creative arts teacher.
16:47Creative arts.
16:48Do you do creative arts at your school?
16:50Mm-mm.
16:50Can't get me away from the arts department.
16:52Pfft!
16:53You're very arty, aren't you, Jake?
16:54Mm-hmm.
16:55And another not-so-new member of staff that really deserves a mention is Mark Todd.
16:59Mark has been shortlisted for the North West Teacher of the Year Award.
17:03Oh!
17:05Has he now?
17:06Shortlisted.
17:07He's not won it yet.
17:09Oh, Darius isn't impressed, is he?
17:15He doesn't seem amused, does he?
17:16Seems like a bit of a hater.
17:17Yeah.
17:18BIRDS CHIRPING
17:24Dropping his bag on the floor!
17:26At school?
17:28No way.
17:29Oh, my gosh.
17:30Mr. Todd's found the packet.
17:32Is that what I think it is?
17:33Yes, it is.
17:34Listen, Mr. Todd's teacher of the year, you know, he's definitely going to snitch.
17:38Yeah.
17:39I thought I was seeing things.
17:40One of their kids must have dropped it.
17:43Ooh!
17:44Oh, my God, he's blaming a kid!
17:45Hi, Mr. Todd.
17:46Hi, Mr. Todd.
17:47Hi, Mr. Todd.
17:48Oh, he's put them in his pocket.
17:49Oh!
17:50Well, because his pupils were going past, he could hardly keep them in his hand.
17:53Oh!
17:54If I was him, I'd be straight to the headmaster's office.
17:56I know, yeah.
17:57Yeah.
17:58This is insane.
17:59Can you see his mind going?
18:01I can get him fired and I'll be the North West's best teacher.
18:04Wow.
18:05How has Darius got away with that as well?
18:08Hey!
18:09Now, that is the face of a teacher who's been here a few years.
18:12Not a few hours.
18:13I've just lost 30 quid at the fucking coke, pal.
18:16Do you know the expression, caught between a rock and a fireplace?
18:20What's he going to say?
18:23What's he going to tell him?
18:24I saw Mr. Todd...
18:30..with drugs.
18:31Oh, you horrible little quizzling.
18:34All because Mr. Todd's up for getting an award
18:37and he wants to be top dog round here.
18:39He's taking Mr. Todd down.
18:41Do you know what?
18:42Will you please just forget I said anything?
18:44Forget I said anything?
18:45How can you forget that?
18:47Look, I'll tell you what.
18:49I'll keep your name out of it.
18:50Cheers, pal.
18:51You're a good one.
18:52Oh, keep your name out of it.
18:54Oh, that's what he wants.
18:55That's exactly what he's after.
18:57You've played right into his hands.
18:59He did, didn't he?
19:00Mark, if you'd like to take a seat, please.
19:02I wanted to see you, actually.
19:03Is she going to speak to him about the drugs
19:05before he has the chance to tell her?
19:07Yes.
19:08Ooh.
19:09Mark, we've had a report that you've got drugs on you.
19:11He does have drugs on him.
19:13They're in his pocket, miss.
19:14He does?
19:15Yeah, they are.
19:16That's why I came to see you.
19:17I found something outside the loser lunch.
19:20Oh, he's fucked.
19:21Oh, my God.
19:22Now he looks like he's lying.
19:24Hang on.
19:25You don't honestly think that that is mine?
19:27Oh, he's never going to get teacher of the year now.
19:30So I'm going to score me off the premises?
19:32Given the severity of the accusation,
19:33we have no option but to call the police.
19:35The police?
19:36Oh, he's getting fucking nicked as well.
19:38For feds.
19:39He was class I.
19:41Poor bloke.
19:42Oh, he's horrendous, Jane.
19:44Do you know what?
19:45John plays a very convincing knobhead, doesn't he?
19:49He's a dark horse.
19:50He's John Richardson.
19:51He's a man of many talents.
19:53In Kent.
19:54Who do you reckon is going to be the better driver out of you two?
19:58Oh, wow.
19:59Oh, hands up.
20:00Harry's.
20:01Oh, me, absolutely.
20:02Michael, Sally and their sons Jake and Harry.
20:05Why is it going to be you?
20:06Because I'm older, I'm more mature.
20:08My brain, my frontal lobe is fully developed.
20:11See, I'm going to prove to you right now why I'm a better driver than Harry.
20:15Harry, which one's left and right?
20:17That way.
20:18That way.
20:19Which one's left and right?
20:20You can't just point that way.
20:21You can't just point that way.
20:22This week, our favorite wildlife filmmaker was all at sea on Disney Plus.
20:27I'm telling dolphins up close, you sure you want to watch that?
20:30I'm not sure that's the best idea with your past experience with dolphins.
20:35I honestly think I must be the only person in the world that can comfortably say, not comfortably
20:40actually, but can truthfully say I was sexually assaulted by a dolphin or a dolphin
20:46tried to sexually assault me.
20:47It's probably the correct time.
20:52Have you ever wanted to swim with dolphins?
20:54No, I can't swim.
20:56I don't like getting my hair wet.
20:57I'm sure last time we watched Bertie Gregory, you said you fancied him.
21:01Well, has he got a pulse?
21:02Yeah.
21:03Can't I do?
21:10Look, this is the place you wanted to go to, the Azores.
21:13Yes.
21:14It looks awful as a holiday destination.
21:17Over the last 10 years, I've become completely obsessed with searching the ocean for epic
21:22gatherings of predators.
21:24There is no way you would catch me anywhere near an epic gathering of predators.
21:28No.
21:29In wildlife film, we call these a bait ball, and they attract a group of predators that
21:32you'd never otherwise see together.
21:34A bait ball?
21:35So what's in the bait ball, I wonder?
21:36I know what a bait ball is.
21:37What?
21:38It's where they school all them fish together, innit?
21:42This could be the most diverse gathering of predators I've ever filmed.
21:46Well, I think we might learn something here, Rosie.
21:49Well, I think we might, yes.
21:51Because usually we avoid animals like the plague.
21:54It's a bumpy two-hour journey to the remote seaman.
21:57Good God.
21:58Two hours of...
21:59Yeah.
22:05This is more like it.
22:07Here we go.
22:08Oh, look.
22:09So we're seeing some activity, some wildlife.
22:11Dolphins arrived.
22:12Wow.
22:13Oh, look at them all.
22:14My goodness.
22:15Oh, wow, that's amazing, actually.
22:16That would be lovely to see, but we wouldn't want to be on the water doing that well.
22:25The spotted and common dolphins try to herd the fish.
22:28Look at the beautiful markings on them.
22:31I'm triggered.
22:32Circling the school, the predators tighten their grip.
22:37There's the ball.
22:38It's literally a ball.
22:39It's literally a ball.
22:40Look at how they move.
22:42Ooh.
22:43They're trying to get out of the way.
22:44But something has spooked the dolphins.
22:47Oh, shit, what's happened?
22:49Ooh, what's that?
22:50Oh, here we go.
22:51The apex predators come in.
22:53Blue sharks.
22:55Oh, my goodness.
22:57See, that is why you won't catch me in the sea.
23:05That shark has played an absolute blinder.
23:08Yeah, he's just got 150 dolphins, 400 birds to do his work, and now he's just going to clean up that shark.
23:15He's come, he's eaten all the food, and then he's buggered off.
23:18This is, you are the shark.
23:21But the feast isn't over.
23:23The dolphins are back for one final showdown.
23:27Oh, here we go.
23:28Oh, they've come back.
23:29Come on, dolphins.
23:30Come on.
23:31You can do it.
23:32Get your ball back.
23:33The bait ball is forced upwards.
23:36Does that mean the birds can eat it?
23:38Yeah.
23:39Nowhere to go.
23:40Down come the shearwaters.
23:42Oh, look at that lot.
23:43This is insane.
23:47Diving to more than 50 feet.
23:50What the friggin' hell?
23:53This doesn't look real.
23:55I don't think it is.
23:57And it's not over yet.
23:59What else can happen?
24:01Who's this now?
24:04The commotion draws the attention of a minky whale.
24:08Oh, a minky whale.
24:11A minky whale.
24:13Oh!
24:16Straight through the middle.
24:21He ate lots there him.
24:22You greedy bastard.
24:24It's half day to be a fish.
24:26Yeah.
24:27I am not trying to get in the ocean and swim with no dolphins.
24:30Why?
24:31It looks too scary.
24:33But you've got all them bikinis, man.
24:35That you're taking to St Vincent with you.
24:37They ain't for the dolphins, Mum.
24:40Who are they for?
24:42Glenda Anne!
24:53In Leeds...
24:54I was fuming when I got here and Toby were parked in my car parking spot.
24:58Well, I did say to him, you know, Ellie's going to be madly inconvenienced
25:01and she's going to have to walk five more steps to get to my front door
25:03and she ain't going to be happy about it.
25:05Yeah?
25:06And he went, well, I don't care.
25:08Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
25:10Do you know what?
25:11I said, I actually did confront him about it
25:13and then he did offer to move his car and put my car there.
25:16But I said, no.
25:18No point now.
25:19Damage is done.
25:20Damage is done, yeah.
25:21But I thought, do you know what?
25:23Nat would never do that.
25:25He just wouldn't do it, would he?
25:29And I thought, do you know what Toby is?
25:31Selfish.
25:32I knew you were going to say that.
25:33On Saturday night, a couple of familiar faces were back together again on ITV1.
25:39We cup of this time.
25:40Oh, lovely.
25:41Thank you so much.
25:42I feel terrible just sitting down here.
25:44I thought we deserved one.
25:46Do you want some of this?
25:47Oh, yeah, please.
25:48What are you looking at, the sardines?
25:49That one.
25:50Ah!
25:51This is win-win.
25:56You know what this is, don't you?
25:58No, what is it?
25:59New melon soup.
26:00Ooh!
26:01The bat.
26:07Oh, them in business.
26:08The power walking.
26:09I tell you what, I bet these two are glad they've been chucked to bone.
26:12Yeah.
26:13You've not seen them, really, together since Bake Off.
26:16Yeah, quite sad, actually.
26:17It's more like a reunion, this, really, isn't it?
26:19It is, yeah.
26:20In the programme, Mel and Sue were looking for answers based on what a survey had said.
26:25Question three is upon us.
26:27Here it is.
26:28OK.
26:29OK.
26:30Which of these unhygienic things have the most number of Brits done?
26:35Oh, no.
26:36Oh, no.
26:37This is going to be totally triggering for me.
26:39I can't cope.
26:41Not brush their teeth for a day.
26:43How could you not brush your teeth for a day?
26:45Well, I'm...
26:47Not.
26:48Because I have to poop mine in.
26:51LAUGHTER
26:53Peeed in the shower.
26:54Oh.
26:55Popped someone else's spots.
26:57Oh, no.
26:58Oh.
26:59Done all of them.
27:00LAUGHTER
27:01The answer is...
27:04Peeed in the shower.
27:06You do it as well, Barton.
27:07I've never done it.
27:08Barton does it in the bath.
27:10LAUGHTER
27:12According to our survey, what's the most common tattoo design among Brits?
27:17A sheep.
27:19I don't think so.
27:20It's either tribal bar wire, sweetie pie or a dolphin above the navel.
27:25Yeah.
27:26Butterfly?
27:27Dragon.
27:28Loved one's name.
27:29I've got a butterfly!
27:30No, I've just got my brothers and sisters names there.
27:33Butterfly.
27:34Butterfly, apparently all girls have got one at the top of their back bottoms.
27:39All girls of a certain age.
27:40Really?
27:41No.
27:42The answer is...
27:45Butterfly.
27:46A butterfly?
27:47Butterfly.
27:48Oh, my God.
27:49What's wrong with people?
27:50I'm common.
27:51Boring.
27:52No shock there.
27:53No shock there.
27:54Yeah?
27:55No shock there.
27:56Two best studio players will now face one final question to win that cash card.
28:01And that, to remind everybody, is loaded with 25,000 smackaroos.
28:05Oh, I could just do with that right now.
28:07You see, this is wrong.
28:08Because it's making Britons think that if you go on a game show, you'll win money rather
28:13than working for it.
28:15So we ask the nation, which physical attributes do you find most attractive in other people?
28:21Great game, this, isn't it?
28:22Elbows.
28:23100%.
28:24Personality.
28:25Oh, physical.
28:26Good bomb.
28:27Clean fingernails.
28:28Nice skin.
28:29Height.
28:30Good posture.
28:31Not asked about hair or eyes.
28:33They don't need any of them.
28:35Legs.
28:36You're just saying yours.
28:37Based on a survey.
28:40What first attracted you to Percy, Sarah?
28:42Beautifully shaped hands.
28:44James, you did best in that round.
28:47So you're going to go first.
28:48What are you thinking?
28:49I'll go for smile.
28:50Teeth.
28:51Ha.
28:52Ha.
28:53Ha.
28:54Ha.
28:55Smile.
28:56Right.
28:57Smile.
28:58Graham, what are you going to go with?
29:00I always used to look at bums.
29:02Erm.
29:03I'd probably say good teeth.
29:06Yeah, he's got good teeth.
29:07He's got good teeth.
29:08See?
29:09They're talking about themselves.
29:10They're talking about excelling themselves.
29:12Is James' smile going to be higher or lower than Graham's teeth?
29:17Do you think it's higher?
29:18Just have a look.
29:19Smile and good teeth are the same thing.
29:20They are not the same thing.
29:21They are not the same thing.
29:27Oh!
29:28Oh, smile number one!
29:30And he's smiling now, isn't he, James?
29:32He's smiling like this.
29:37Well done, James.
29:38Do you know what?
29:39That's what it's all about for me.
29:41Seeing somebody who's gone on there, had a go and they've won a nice couple of quid.
29:45Exactly.
29:46Nothing too taxing, neither.
29:47Yeah.
29:48Warms the cockles of my heart.
29:49Yeah.
29:51Lovely.
29:52And it's nice to see Mel and Sue, you know, are back at the trough.
29:56Yeah.
29:59Incafilly.
30:00You've bought a quiche, haven't you?
30:02What's in there?
30:03Armourk.
30:04Is it Armourk, is it?
30:05Yeah.
30:06You had that on the plane.
30:07Oh, would you love that?
30:08Yeah.
30:09But you had bechamel sauce at all.
30:10I took that off with the paper.
30:12Dave and his wife, Shirley.
30:14It didn't say bechamel sauce.
30:16It said mature cheddar in with the hock and then on top, more cheddar.
30:24I think, Shirley, if you read it in the in-flight cafe, it said a mature cheddar with ham hock and bechamel sauce.
30:36No, it didn't.
30:37No, it didn't.
30:38On Friday night, there was exciting news for wannabe spooks on ITV.
30:43Oh!
30:44You said stop you, Sean.
30:45You're on a diet.
30:46Don't do it.
30:47Back away from the doughnut, Sean.
30:48Are there any biscuits to go with that plate?
30:50Hey, love.
30:51What's that for?
30:52Oh, you'll be going home soon.
30:53Or now.
30:54I'm not going home yet.
30:55I want to watch the news.
30:56What time?
30:57Bloody shift.
30:58Oh, what time?
30:59What time?
31:00Oh, do you know what?
31:01You don't have to make me feel welcome, you.
31:02Where's my coat?
31:03You'll be giving me that next.
31:04Oh, no, don't bother.
31:05I'm not going.
31:06It was good and bad news today for anyone hoping to become an MI6 spy.
31:13Oh, haven't they found your CV yet?
31:14No, they haven't found my application.
31:15I put it in.
31:16I put it in yesterday.
31:17On the one hand, the agencies opened up a new recruitment site for applications.
31:24Oh, you're going to play.
31:25Would you fancy that?
31:26Yes.
31:27On the other, it can only be found on the dark web.
31:28Oh, what's that?
31:29So can you not find it on LinkedIn?
31:30No.
31:31Notorious as a hive of insidious and incriminating websites.
31:34I thought the dark web was for buying gums and things like that.
31:37No.
31:38Notorious as a hive of insidious and incriminating websites.
31:42I thought the dark web was for buying gums and things like that.
31:46It's the first test of MI6.
31:48Ah!
31:49Find us on the dark web.
31:50That's really clever.
31:51I bet you could get on the dark web using your new VPN that you got to watch telly abroad.
31:57I don't know how to get on.
32:00I use it for legitimate reasons.
32:03Of course, it's really aimed at aspiring agents in hostile states like Russia and North Korea to get in touch.
32:11So they're trying to get spies from different countries to tell us their secrets,
32:14but I'm not being funny.
32:16Why are they going to want to tell us?
32:18Ain't that putting them in mortal danger?
32:20It could be.
32:21Mmm.
32:22But if you get paid enough, who cares?
32:24MI6's latest recruitment drive is via a dedicated portal on the dark web.
32:30I might go on the dark web.
32:32Tonight.
32:33Where is the dark web anyway?
32:36Have I got it on my computer?
32:38I don't know.
32:39I don't know.
32:40I've not done it.
32:41Our appeal today is not to Russians alone.
32:44Anyone, anywhere in the world with access to sensitive information.
32:48Oh, yeah.
32:49I can really see the Taliban logging in from the hills above Afghanistan going,
32:54I'll sign up for the MI6 website.
32:56Relating to terrorism or hostile intelligence activity can use the new portal to contact MI6.
33:03So this is like snitch book.
33:06So basically, it's a website where you can go and snitch on your country and not be traced.
33:11Surely they could just do it on, not on dark web, they could do it on normally.
33:15We'll set up a Facebook group.
33:17Yeah.
33:18MI6 are now using social media platforms to also attract new recruits.
33:22What's the difference between MI5 and MI6?
33:25One.
33:26One number.
33:28What do you mean?
33:30Can you just like work in the canteen at MI6?
33:32Do you have to go through the dark web to get a job there as well?
33:35Maybe.
33:36Yeah.
33:37Yeah.
33:38This bab tastes like Novichok.
33:41Yeah.
33:42In hall.
33:43Can you hear me breathing?
33:44I'm a bit chesty today.
33:45Do you know I sit a ring?
33:46Go to shop and get me some Maluga honey.
33:47I've got some lemon and a bottle of lemonade.
34:02Best friends Jenny and Lee.
34:04The phone rings.
34:06Jenny.
34:07What?
34:08I'm at the honey.
34:10How will I hear?
34:13I said what do you mean how will I hear?
34:15He said well the Maluga honey is £14.95 and the next one down is £3.95.
34:20I'm just asking you all.
34:22How will I hear?
34:23What did you say?
34:24Not very well.
34:25I just went.
34:26£3.95.
34:27Just get the £3.95.
34:28£14 quid.
34:30I've never heard of it.
34:31What's it called?
34:32Yeah.
34:33Maluga.
34:34Er.
34:35Tesco's.
34:37On Sunday night we took to the skies for a nail biting ride on that Geo.
34:42Finally Julie.
34:43Something from here now.
34:44Top Guns.
34:45Right down my street this.
34:47I've been out in light aircraft getting flown around.
34:50It's the bollocks.
34:51You did one flying lesson.
34:53Exactly.
34:54I've got the taste for it.
34:59I'm looking forward to this Jane.
35:00Top Guns the next generation.
35:02I mean you think you're bloody Tom Cruise don't you really.
35:05Why I am.
35:06You're as short as him.
35:07I'm taller than him.
35:08That's where the resemblance finishes really.
35:11It's at least an inch and a half between me and him.
35:15My name is Austin Claggett.
35:17I'm a first lieutenant in the Marine Corps.
35:19Hi Austin.
35:20He looks like an Austin.
35:21That all American jock.
35:22Austin is a good name for a fighter pilot.
35:25I don't know about Claggett.
35:26Yeah.
35:27My family definitely knows me as Crazy Austin.
35:31Crazy Austin?
35:32Bloody hell.
35:33Not Crazy Claggett then.
35:34That'd be better.
35:35Crazy Claggett's much better.
35:37I'll just do the things that no one else would dare do.
35:41I mean you pretty much have to be a bit of a nutter.
35:44Don't you to do this?
35:45Yeah.
35:46I think Austin is confident enough to get his wings you know.
35:49He can talk the talk but we've got to see whether he can walk the walk.
35:53Walk the walk.
35:58Go straight into bombing.
35:59Jesus.
36:00This is where they've got to go in close to the target.
36:02Release the bomb.
36:03Then pull out to the dive or whatever.
36:05Ooh.
36:06This takes a bit of balls this too.
36:07You need him.
36:08For this dry run it's all about staying calm and in control.
36:12Well I couldn't do that.
36:13Could you?
36:14Could you stay calm and be in control?
36:15Well I won't be in control.
36:16That's for certain.
36:17I'm nervous now and I'm just on the couch.
36:19Last to perform the manoeuvre is Austin.
36:21Come on Austin.
36:22You've got this Austin.
36:24Isn't that what people say now Mary?
36:26Yes.
36:29Here he goes.
36:31Ooh.
36:32My stomach's going mad.
36:33He's going in now.
36:36Fucking hell it's a bit lively this isn't he fella?
36:42He's breathing hard isn't he?
36:43Oh my god.
36:44That would be actually quite terrifying.
36:46That was the first time that I've been scared.
36:51Oh he's having a little wobbly.
36:53Oh no.
36:54Because he's heading towards the ground at a meteoric rate.
36:58He's thinking fuck.
36:59Quite the sobering experience I imagine.
37:04Hard pull!
37:05Hard pull!
37:06You've got to pull up now Austin.
37:07No you've got to pull up now Austin.
37:08Come on Austin you need to pull up.
37:09Oh my days this is nuts.
37:10Can you imagine going down that quick?
37:11Yeah.
37:12And then whoo!
37:13Bit like the big dipper at Black Pole isn't it really?
37:14No.
37:15Well a bit like it.
37:16No.
37:17After the dry run Austin had to do the manoeuvre again whilst dropping a bomb on a target.
37:28They need to release their bombs precisely at the right moment.
37:29See how do you know when the right moment is?
37:30They need to pull up sharply before they reach the altitude limit of 3,000 feet.
37:31Ahhh.
37:32Because they can't go any lower than that.
37:33That's correct yeah.
37:34That's the hard deck.
37:35Yeah the point of no return.
37:36Here we go.
37:37God this is the real thing now Lee isn't it?
37:38Hold your nerve now son.
37:39Come on Beth she's coming down.
37:40You're going too low.
37:41Up up up up.
37:42He's got...
37:43He's got...
37:44He's got...
37:45Well he's hit the target.
37:46He's off.
37:47He's off.
37:48But he's broken the deck.
37:49How to chote.
37:50How to chote.
37:51Oh.
37:52Oh.
37:53Oh.
37:54Oh.
37:55Oh.
37:56Oh.
37:57Oh.
37:58Oh.
37:59Oh.
38:00Oh.
38:01Oh.
38:02Oh.
38:03Oh.
38:04Oh.
38:05Oh.
38:06Oh.
38:07Oh.
38:08Oh.
38:09Oh.
38:10Oh.
38:11Oh.
38:12Oh.
38:13Oh.
38:14Oh.
38:15Oh.
38:16Oh.
38:17Oh.
38:18Oh.
38:19He's got one more chance Lee.
38:20One more chance.
38:21He must be really twitchy now don't you think?
38:23Oh.
38:24Oh.
38:25He's coming in hot again 5.5 thousand.
38:27Don't go too low.
38:29Oh.
38:30Oh.
38:31Oh.
38:32Oh.
38:333,000.
38:34Oh he's near the mark.
38:35Oh come on you're nearly there you're nearly there.
38:38Oh, go on, you're nearly there, you're nearly there.
38:40Go for it.
38:41Now.
38:43Oh, he's done it again.
38:46No.
38:47Oh, he's, oh, no.
38:49He's tracking going low again.
38:5417 feet.
38:55Bullseye.
38:56He got a bullseye.
38:57Yeah, what a fucking low altitude.
38:59Oh, my God, that's so unfair.
39:01It's actually quite heartbreaking, because he's done one perfectly, not the other.
39:06Yes, sir.
39:08So, Austin's out.
39:12He's absolutely messed it up.
39:13Oh.
39:14Oh, Phil.
39:16I was like that three times for my driving, listen.
39:18That's the first time.
39:19Well, yeah, you shouldn't have done it.
39:20But I'll tell you now.
39:21If that were me, I'd take failure, really, really, personally.
39:25I'd have dealt with it horribly, and I'd have made a big scene.
39:28I'd have ruminated and talked about it for the next six months, every day.
39:31Six months?
39:32Six years?
39:33You'd be unbearable.
39:34LAUGHTER
39:35Your eyebrows look really good.
39:41I know.
39:42My first ever tattoo, and it's my eyebrows.
39:43I want to touch it.
39:44You can.
39:45That's really good, isn't it?
39:47It adds character to your face.
39:49Best friends Danielle and Daniella.
39:52What do you mean?
39:53I don't know.
39:53You look like...
39:54What, like a cartoon character?
39:56No.
39:56Oh.
39:57Like, you know...
39:58I don't know.
39:59Can you just say something nice, please?
40:01It's nice!
40:02When you say...
40:03When you give people compliments, you always tend to stutter,
40:06cos it's so unnatural for you.
40:09But you're like...
40:10It looks nice!
40:12This week, our favourite bunch of bad spies were back on Apple TV+.
40:17Here we are, Julian.
40:18Some proper tell it.
40:19Who would have dreamt we'd be living long enough to see another episode?
40:24And this will the big boys again.
40:28I tell you who could have been in MI5.
40:31Who?
40:31Becky Potter and Sinead.
40:33Yeah!
40:34They were queen at FBI's, weren't they?
40:36Queen of the FBI's.
40:37FBI's, yeah, drive-by FBI social media stalk on your mum's Netflix.
40:42All they'd need is a first name.
40:44That'd be it.
40:45And a location.
40:48Oh, here we go.
40:50Shh, shh, Jane, shh, shh.
40:51I haven't said a word.
40:52It started.
40:55This looks dodgy, doesn't it?
40:57It does.
40:57Why is it dodgy?
41:00Hello.
41:01What did he get out of that van, then?
41:03Can I give you a poster for the window?
41:04Oh, the bank doesn't let us be political.
41:06It's like him sat down on that bench there, isn't it?
41:08Well, he's got a bag.
41:09Morning.
41:11Hope Mayor Jaffrey can count on your boat.
41:13Oh, I have a feeling he's barking up the wrong tree here.
41:15Oh, lovey.
41:16Read the room.
41:17But Mayor Jaffrey offers hope, whereas...
41:19What's he getting out of his bag?
41:21Gimbal wants to make them...
41:23Holy shit.
41:24Oh, fucking hell.
41:25That's a tool and a half.
41:26Shit, a brick, man.
41:28What are you...
41:29Get on the floor!
41:30Get on the floor!
41:32Oh!
41:33Oh, shit!
41:34What the hell are you doing?
41:36Oh, he's killing everybody.
41:41Can you imagine?
41:42No.
41:45Oh, I knew it!
41:46I knew he was going to get...
41:48I was going to say to you, I'd better get shot in a minute.
41:49What the fuck is happening?
41:52Sorry, did you see the blood coming out of his head?
41:56Who's he?
41:57Eh?
41:59That was the same van he got the gun out of!
42:01Somebody's definitely got him to do all that shooting and then killed him.
42:06How can it be permissible?
42:10Oh, Slow Horse's IT guy.
42:12What's his name?
42:12Roddy.
42:13Roddy.
42:14You look like a right knobhead going through town like that.
42:19You're hardly incognito.
42:20No wonder you want the good as a spy.
42:24Oh, look at that!
42:26Oh, they look great.
42:28Oh, mate.
42:28Bloody hell, you nearly got killed.
42:29I know.
42:32God, it's that van again.
42:33That's the van that we're doing in shootings.
42:35It is.
42:35What the fuck?
42:37Wait, surely she's a Slow Horse as well.
42:39Oh, so his team mate has just saved his life.
42:41Yeah, and I think thank you was a word that, you know,
42:43Roddy should be looking for.
42:44Witnesses describe the shooter as using a shotgun or a rifle.
42:48Oh, here he is.
42:49Like, eating in some greasy spoon watching the telly.
42:53Having a bit of breakfast.
42:54Typical.
42:55Well, why are you mistaking this from my office?
42:57Well, you're also not welcome.
43:00Or pleasant as ever, lamb.
43:02Someone nearly ran ho over.
43:03Good for them.
43:04Fuck off.
43:06It was deliberate.
43:07They drove straight at him.
43:08So, Shirley thinks that someone's trying to do a hit on Roddy.
43:10What did it happen?
43:11Fan street.
43:13No cameras.
43:13Suspicious in itself.
43:14It's what you call suss.
43:16White transit van heading east.
43:18Surely we should at least try and track it.
43:20See, Shirley's spider senses are tingling here.
43:22Yeah, and she's on the right lines.
43:25Yeah.
43:25Trust your gut.
43:27Are you going to take this seriously?
43:29Well, I'm glad you asked me that.
43:30No, are you going to take this seriously?
43:32Fuck off.
43:33Oh, my God.
43:34There's lots of fucks in this, Lee, ain't there?
43:36He's wanting nothing serious.
43:37No, I know.
43:38A bit later, concerned for his safety, River and Shirley had followed Roddy to a nightclub.
43:47This is one of your scenes, right, isn't it?
43:50He's very similar to somewhere I would go to, yes.
43:53They're not playing any pet shop boys, Tracer.
43:56No, I know.
43:56I wouldn't like to go in that night.
43:58No, Duran Duran.
43:58He's cutting some moves, or do you call it shapes?
44:07Shapes, darling, shapes.
44:08She's seeing something late.
44:14What's going on?
44:15What's going on?
44:15What's going on?
44:17Oh, she's all in.
44:18Hang on a minute.
44:19That works.
44:22No!
44:23What the hell?
44:24What the fuck are you playing at?
44:26Shut your computer out.
44:28Oh, they're going to be getting asked to leave.
44:30They're having the shoulders fell.
44:31Don't lose them, Shirley.
44:38Bullseye.
44:38Roddy's gone off in his Prius.
44:42So, it's tonight the night.
44:45It's tonight the night.
44:47When to become one.
44:50Oh, hey, Spice Girls.
44:52Oh!
44:53Well, I'll have to remember that pick-up line.
44:55No, Sian, don't.
44:56It's a bit cringe.
44:57You know I really want to, huh?
44:59Mm.
44:59But I have to be, I'm pretty early and I want it to be special.
45:03Oh, Roddy, you've been strung along, buddy.
45:06She's not genuinely in this, is she?
45:08No.
45:11Oh, God, she's having you on.
45:14That's a good tactic if you don't want a snog.
45:16Just put all your fingers in the mouth.
45:23That's weird, wasn't it?
45:24Yeah.
45:25That was really weird.
45:27I think he's ugly.
45:29She don't like him at all, look.
45:33Oh, hang on, something's going on.
45:37Oh!
45:38He's heading into his flat.
45:39Oh!
45:44See how much fuck's on this face.
45:46That's definitely a honey trap.
45:48She's double-crossed him.
45:49Oh!
45:50When was the last time you went to a nightclub?
45:54Germany, 2023.
45:59Seriously?
46:00Yeah.
46:01Cologne.
46:03Oh, yeah, Jane.
46:04Oh, were you with the little people, though?
46:06Yes.
46:07And the German hardcore dancers.
46:09Right, so it's not really a nightclub nightclub, is it?
46:16It was a nightclub.
46:17We just happened to have taken over.
46:19It was a safe nightclub then.
46:22Hmm.
46:23Not with me on the dance floor.
46:24Oh, God.
46:25They have had an E4 skinful, and you can, too.
46:34Pucker up and stream Made in Chelsea any old time.
46:37And don't get FOMO, I already have.
46:39Mavs UK is back.
46:41Stream now.
46:42Remember, brand-new eps come Thursday to Sunday at 9 on E4.
46:46Mitchell and Webb aren't helping next.
46:49Comedy, and they're bound to be some wigs.
46:51Perfect, perfect world.
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44:23
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