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Match Game (2016) Season 6 Episode 5- Joel McHale, Amy Sedaris, Lamorne Morris, Kevin Nealon, Ziwe, Annie Murphy
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00:00Get ready to match the stars, Joel McHale, Amy Sedaris, Lamorne Moritz, Andy Murphy, Kevin Nealon, and Siway, as we play the star-studded match game.
00:21And here's the host of match game, Martin Short.
00:30Welcome! Welcome to match game. And yes, I know I was an ABC's first choice as a host this evening, but it doesn't really bother me because honey boo boo is such a different type.
00:52Joel McHale. Where are you, Joel?
00:58Out of all the shows that you've appeared on, which one is closer to filling the void inside you?
01:04How dare you, Alec?
01:06No, no, no. It's Marty. It's Marty's show.
01:09Oh, Marty. Yes.
01:10Martin, to you.
01:12Hey, Amy Sedaris, you are a comedic legend.
01:15You starred in Elf, Chicken Little, and Puss in Boots, which were also three of my nicknames in high school.
01:22Hey, Lamorne.
01:23Hey, hey.
01:24How are you?
01:24I'm great, honey.
01:25Good to see you.
01:26You were so great on New Girl.
01:29Absolutely.
01:31And just like America, I was always this close to watching it.
01:35It was so tempting.
01:36It's okay.
01:37I was born in the 80s, so I'm not familiar with yours either.
01:42And Annie, a Canadian icon.
01:47I love a person's philosophy when I find out about it.
01:50Like, so why are you so big on first cousins marrying?
01:53What's that about?
01:55Love is love, Marty.
01:57Love is love.
01:58Oh, my God.
01:59What an open gal.
02:00Speaking of open gal, Kevin Nealon is with us.
02:03Kevin, why dress up for television?
02:09So you were painting your room, you finished the ceiling, and you said, it's time for TV.
02:14How does that work?
02:15Marty, I think I'm doing all right for myself.
02:17I mean, I got on this game show here, right?
02:18Smash game?
02:21You know, I hate when people call you dull, which they do.
02:25You know, his avatar is tumbleweed.
02:33Wow.
02:35Hi, Zeeway.
02:36Now, what did you mean backstage when you said that safe sex is so 1978?
02:40What did that mean?
02:42I'm very horny for game shows.
02:46And that's a wrap, everyone.
02:47It was so great seeing you.
02:50Let's meet tonight's players, shall we?
02:57Yay!
02:57Linda, whatever prescription you're on, I want to be on it.
03:08Because I've seen excitement, but that was like almost a seizure.
03:13Hey, Jonathan, welcome.
03:14Hello.
03:15Welcome, Linda.
03:15I'm thrilled that you're here.
03:17Now, Linda, how did you meet your husband?
03:19Okay, so I tried everything.
03:21No, I know that.
03:22But I'm talking about how did you meet your husband?
03:24Well, I tried online dating, speed dating, and I even played a victim for a firefighter's
03:31training program.
03:31And I met my husband the old-fashioned way, after all that, through a friend.
03:36Oh, a friend introduced you.
03:38And are you happily married?
03:39Yes, we are.
03:40Well, congratulations.
03:42Jonathan, what do you do for a living?
03:44I work as a sales analyst for a furniture company.
03:47So basically, I do the boring job of crunching numbers on the back end, so you feel like you're
03:52getting value, but I'm also making money.
03:54Wow.
03:55Okay.
03:56And you have tremendous energy.
03:58Where do you get your energy from?
04:00Uh, whatever Linda's on.
04:03Okay, let's play Match Game.
04:06Now, each of you will get two questions to try to match as many of our six stars as possible.
04:15Whoever matches more goes to play Supermatch for a chance to win $25,000.
04:23All right.
04:24Here we go.
04:26This is my favorite part, pressing this button.
04:30Look at that.
04:31Yay.
04:32Yeah.
04:33Okay.
04:34Jonathan, do you want question A or B?
04:38Let's go with B.
04:39Let's go with B.
04:40Did you hear?
04:43Captain Morgan got his pilot's license.
04:46Oy.
04:47But he's not allowed to board a plane with his blank.
04:51Did you hear?
04:52Captain Morgan got his pilot's license.
04:55Oy.
04:56He's not allowed to board a plane with his blank.
04:59Oh, that makes sense.
05:01See what A is in.
05:02Oh, no, I'm not.
05:03That's fake.
05:04Oh.
05:05I'm sorry.
05:06I was confused.
05:07Because you're like...
05:08But he's a pirate.
05:12Now, Kevin.
05:14What?
05:14Are you with us?
05:15I'm busy.
05:16Are you having one of your stupors again?
05:18I got some sagebrush rolling through.
05:22I'm ready.
05:24How come your light's not on?
05:25I don't have to do that.
05:26You do have to do that.
05:27I have that.
05:28You can't break the rules.
05:31Lamorne is almost ready.
05:33Okay.
05:34Annie, no rush.
05:36No rush at all.
05:39Okay.
05:40Jonathan, are you ready?
05:42Did you hear?
05:43Captain Morgan got his pilot's license.
05:46Oy.
05:47But he's not allowed to board a plane with his...
05:50With his sword.
05:52With his sword.
05:54Okay.
05:56Joel, did you hear?
05:58Captain Morgan got his pilot's license.
06:01Oy.
06:01But he's not allowed to board a plane with his...
06:04What's the password?
06:06No, no, no.
06:07Not about the password.
06:08It's...
06:09Well, he said sword.
06:10We're trying to match sword.
06:12Sorry.
06:12I'm sorry.
06:13All right.
06:13I...
06:14Captain Morgan.
06:14Well, he seems to be, you know, he likes to party.
06:18So I said rum.
06:19Oh.
06:20Captain Morgan's rum.
06:22Well, yeah, but sword is good, too.
06:24Amy, what do you have?
06:25It's really good, but I have to say, I said rum also.
06:28Oh.
06:29What?
06:30I can't speak for this man, but I hate you both.
06:34Okay.
06:35Lamorne.
06:35Mm-hmm.
06:36How are you doing?
06:37Man, you're living.
06:38You know what I'm saying?
06:39Drinking.
06:40Oh.
06:40Yeah.
06:41Yeah.
06:41Now, do you have an answer for us?
06:43Ha-ha.
06:45Yay!
06:45Thick sword.
06:47That's one.
06:50Annie, what's your answer?
06:52This is a lesson in not succumbing to peer pressure.
06:57Rum.
06:58Oh, look, you had sword.
06:59I'm really sorry.
07:01And you crossed it.
07:02Why'd you cross it out?
07:02Because I succumbed to peer pressure, and I...
07:05You listened to Kevin.
07:06Yeah.
07:07Wow.
07:09Kevin, do you have an answer?
07:10Yes.
07:11And oddly enough, I went with rum.
07:16Lamorne, you're the only hero.
07:18That's right.
07:18What's going on?
07:19Well, I consider Kevin a mentor of mine, and so I put rum.
07:24Okay.
07:25Sorry, Jonathan.
07:26Okay, Jonathan, you scored one point.
07:29Linda, I'm putting that there, and you know what?
07:32I think you should pick A.
07:34I can say, too.
07:35Yeah, so do I.
07:35Something like that.
07:36All right.
07:39Have you seen Kevin Nealon's star on the Walk of Fame?
07:43Ha-ha-ha.
07:44Neither have I.
07:46They wouldn't give him an official one, so he just wrote the word Nealon on Kevin Blank's
07:53star.
07:54Okay.
07:55Have you seen Kevin Nealon's star on the Walk of Fame?
07:57I heard you.
07:58No, but I've got to repeat it.
08:00Have you seen Kevin Nealon's star on the Walk of Fame?
08:03They wouldn't give him an official one, so he just wrote the word Nealon on Kevin Blank's
08:09star.
08:09That is true, by the way.
08:10You really did that?
08:13Well, then write something down.
08:15Oh, Annie's locked in.
08:16I love that.
08:17I'm in, too.
08:18Sorry.
08:18Okay.
08:19Martin, I'm locked in.
08:21You are locked in.
08:22I'm locked in.
08:23We're just waiting for old Kevin Nealon.
08:27I'm trying to decide between eight different Kevins.
08:32Okay.
08:33Joel.
08:33Mm.
08:34I'm so excited about your answer, because you're so s- Oh, that's right.
08:38What?
08:42Time to wrap up.
08:43Okay, ready?
08:44Go.
08:46Okay.
08:47Linda.
08:48Have you seen Kevin Nealon's star on the Walk of Fame?
08:50They wouldn't give him an official one, so he just wrote the word Nealon on Kevin Blank's
08:55star.
08:56Kevin Hart?
08:58Kevin Hart.
08:59Final answer?
09:00Joel.
09:01Have you seen Kevin Nealon's star on the Walk of Fame?
09:03He just wrote the word Nealon on Kevin Blank's star.
09:06We're looking for Hart.
09:08Well, Linda, this man's the same size as Martin Short.
09:13Look at that.
09:15Kevin Hart.
09:16I'm so bad at this game.
09:18Amy, you're not.
09:18There's so many Kevins.
09:19Hart.
09:20Look at that.
09:21Hart.
09:23We got two.
09:24Sorry, I keep forgetting.
09:25Um, I'm gonna go with Hart.
09:27Oh, my God.
09:30That's three for Linda.
09:31This is exciting.
09:32Okay.
09:33Annie?
09:35It's delicious, but it's wrong.
09:38Bacon.
09:39Oh, that bacon.
09:41Kevin?
09:42You know I have a star on the Walk of Fame, my own.
09:46You know that, right?
09:47I don't want to.
09:47I don't think you had that kind of money.
09:48I want to.
09:50What is your answer, buddy?
09:53I threw it away.
09:55No, no, no.
09:56You didn't throw it away.
10:00What has happened to you?
10:02I thought it was wrong, so I threw it away.
10:04I forgot.
10:07I forgot.
10:09Not, you know, Marty.
10:10Marty.
10:11Marty.
10:11You know, if all in the history of game shows, you're probably the worst celebrity guest ever.
10:17Go ahead.
10:17Costner.
10:18Oh, I see.
10:20Is he what?
10:21I'm so sorry.
10:23Disqualified?
10:23Yeah.
10:24Bacon.
10:24Bacon.
10:25Well, you know what?
10:25That's pretty good.
10:27I'll take it.
10:28At the end of round one, Linda has three, Jonathan has one.
10:33We better take a break, because I can barely breathe in these Kim Kardashian skims.
10:53Welcome back to Match Game.
10:55If you're still watching, congratulations, you've officially lasted longer than my last
11:00three attempts at dry January.
11:02All right.
11:03Are we excited?
11:04Look at this.
11:05I love when I push a button, and it works.
11:08Look at that.
11:09Oh.
11:12Get down, you son of a bitch.
11:17Look at that.
11:17There we go.
11:19Okay, Linda, you are ahead.
11:21So you get to go first.
11:22What would you like, A or B?
11:23Um, I'll get A.
11:24A. All righty.
11:26Look at this.
11:28There's an app with nothing but videos of private eyes.
11:32It's called Dick Talk.
11:35It's not X-rated, but you can see many detectives comparing the size of their blanks.
11:43I don't even discuss it.
11:45Now remember, you're only playing with the bottom row.
11:47Okay?
11:48Why would you say that?
11:50The way now has an idea.
11:51Her brain is cooking.
11:54Kevin's brain was fried a long time ago.
11:58And Annie is locked in.
12:01Martin, I know I'm not playing, but can you repeat it one more time?
12:04Why do you need to hear it?
12:07Your voice is a velvety fog that I love hearing.
12:11There's an app with nothing but videos of private eyes.
12:14It's called Dick Talk.
12:16Sorry, what's it called again?
12:23Oh, no.
12:24Oh, I'm fine.
12:25I'm fine.
12:26I'm doing one of my comedic bits.
12:29The ones that kept me out of the big money.
12:32Okay.
12:32Oh, we're locked in.
12:34Okay.
12:36There's an app with nothing but videos of private eyes.
12:38It's called Dick Talk.
12:39It's not X-rated, but you can see many detectives comparing the size of their blanks.
12:44Raincoats.
12:45Oh, what?
12:48Good answer.
12:48Good answer.
12:49Good answer.
12:49Good answer, Linda.
12:52All right.
12:53You're a real smart girl.
12:55So I bet you said raincoats.
12:58Similar to raincoats.
12:59Their eyes.
13:03Judges?
13:04No, I'm kidding.
13:05Private eyes.
13:07No, I get it.
13:08I get it.
13:09And you help no one at all.
13:13Kevin, would you throw it away again?
13:15I did throw it away.
13:16I'm sorry.
13:18I had no idea.
13:18I thought that you'd throw that away, but you wouldn't throw this outfit away.
13:22I'm kidding you.
13:23Now, Kevin, quickly.
13:25You're going to like this one, Linda.
13:28All right.
13:29See you later.
13:30Do you have an answer?
13:31I do, and it's so pure and wholesome.
13:35Eyes.
13:36Eyes.
13:37All right.
13:39Well, the score is still three to one.
13:42Now, in round one, Jonathan, you match with Lamorne, so for this question, you can match
13:47with everyone else.
13:49All right.
13:49Ready?
13:49Ready?
13:49The new Pope is staying true to his Chicago roots.
13:55During Mass, instead of wafers, he's handing out blank.
13:59What?
14:00What's he handing out?
14:01No, no, no, no.
14:02I don't get to tell you.
14:03Oh.
14:03You have to write it down.
14:03Okay.
14:04Would you go see what they're talking about?
14:06No, no, no.
14:07Well, that's...
14:08You just write down.
14:09Go with your instinct.
14:09Oh, I know.
14:10Rain pains.
14:11And I can't play, right?
14:12You can't play.
14:13This is a .
14:14I'm going to go.
14:15No, no, no.
14:16You stay.
14:17Why don't you take a sip?
14:18What is this drink, by the way?
14:19It's an old-fashioned.
14:20Is that true?
14:21What are you writing?
14:22Let me see.
14:23I've never gotten this drink.
14:24I've never gotten this drink.
14:25I've never...
14:26I don't get to tell you.
14:27I don't get to tell you.
14:28You have to write it down.
14:29You have to write it down.
14:30Okay.
14:31Yeah.
14:32What is this drink, by the way?
14:34It's an old-fashioned.
14:35Is that true?
14:36What are you writing?
14:37Let me see.
14:38I've never gotten this drink.
14:39I've never...
14:40It's great.
14:43Yeah.
14:44Yeah, babe.
14:45All right.
14:46How are we doing?
14:47Are we locked in?
14:48Are we frightened?
14:49I'm selling this glass.
14:50A thousand dollars.
14:51Put his mouth on.
14:52Anybody wants it.
14:53I'm selling it.
14:54Locked in.
14:55Locked in.
14:56Kevin, what a shock.
14:57He's not locked in.
14:58Hey, you're all locked in.
15:00Okay.
15:01The new Pope is staying true to his Chicago roots during Mass.
15:04Instead of wafers, he's handing out...
15:06Deep dish pizza.
15:07Oh.
15:08Oh.
15:09Deep dish pizza.
15:11That's a very, very smart answer.
15:14Okay.
15:15So you need two to tie and three to win.
15:19Joel, what's your answer?
15:21Listen, Steve Harvey.
15:23No, no, no.
15:24It's not Steve Harvey.
15:25Oh, sorry.
15:26All right.
15:27So, my dad is from Chicago.
15:29That's the end of the story.
15:30So, uh, I had two choices to make, and I went with hot dogs without ketchup.
15:38Yeah.
15:39There is nothing like a Chicago-style dog.
15:42It's got tomatoes and relish that looks like it is, uh, nuclear.
15:46Oh, I want to hear the end of this.
15:47All right, great.
15:48We're moving on.
15:49Amy.
15:50Oh.
15:51Drag it through the garden.
15:52Hot dog.
15:53Oh.
15:54Yeah.
15:55Yeah, they're known for their hot dogs.
15:56Drag it through the garden.
15:57I've never had a Chicago hot dog.
15:58Is that me?
15:59Well, you, I can't talk to.
16:00All right.
16:01Annie.
16:02Instead of wafers, he's handing out...
16:06Hot dogs.
16:07Oh, I'm so excited.
16:08Boy, am I missing something.
16:09I've never had a Chicago hot dog.
16:11Okay, you need to match Kevin to stay in the game.
16:14Why is hot dog such a popular answer?
16:16Deep-dish pizza!
16:17Yeah!
16:21Well, this is the kind of game playing I like, because now it's all up to you, young lady.
16:27If he gets this, he ties.
16:30And the answer is deep-dish pizza.
16:33Deep-dish pizza!
16:35We have a tie!
16:37So we're gonna play a tie-breaker.
16:40Look at that.
16:43Oh!
16:44A tie-breaker.
16:46So, this is how this works.
16:48This time, the contestants will write down their answers, and the panel will give a verbal response.
16:54The first player to make a match wins the game.
16:58And goes on to play a super match for a chance of $25,000.
17:05Now, here's the question.
17:07It's very simple.
17:08Blank dance.
17:11Blank dance.
17:13Blank dance.
17:18Blank dance.
17:21Tell me when you're ready.
17:23You're ready?
17:24Yes.
17:25Very good.
17:26This is exciting.
17:27When you hear your answer, let us know.
17:28Blank dance.
17:30Joel?
17:31Yes.
17:32Oh, thank you.
17:33Is your answer.
17:36Just say it out loud.
17:40Yeah.
17:41This is a lot of pressure.
17:42I know.
17:43Break.
17:44Good answer.
17:45Good answer.
17:46Good answer.
17:47Not yet.
17:48Okay.
17:49Annie.
17:50Okay, I do.
17:51Blank.
17:52Dance.
17:53Flash.
17:54Flash dance.
17:55No.
17:56Okay.
17:57Turn.
17:58Line.
17:59Line.
18:00Line dance.
18:02Wow.
18:03This is fascinating.
18:05Blank dance.
18:07Annie.
18:08Slow?
18:09I got slow.
18:10Oh.
18:11Slow dance.
18:12Yes.
18:13Congratulations.
18:14Linda.
18:15Yes.
18:16You're our champion.
18:17We have to say goodbye to Jonathan.
18:20You tried your best, which is kind of sad to think of that.
18:23Bye, Jonathan.
18:24Super match is next.
18:27Congratulations.
18:28All right.
18:29Welcome back.
18:30Oh, hot tip.
18:31If you ever get a chance to spend an hour with Kevin Nealon, just know that a half hour
18:49is plenty.
18:50Now, it's time for Super Match.
18:54Linda, you will have a shot at winning $25,000.
18:59And what are you going to do with that kind of money?
19:03Well, my husband and I are huge fans of Eurovision Song Contest, so we're thinking of going to see it in real life.
19:10Oh, my God.
19:11Okay.
19:12I'll go with you.
19:13I'll go with you.
19:14All right.
19:15So, we're going to start with an audience match.
19:16Now, we recently pulled the Match Game Home audience and got their most popular responses to this.
19:24Burning Blank.
19:29Now, if you can guess the third most popular answer, you will get $2,000.
19:33The second most popular answer will be $3,000.
19:36And the most popular answer gets you $5,000.
19:40Okay.
19:41Now, to help with suggestions, you can enlist the aid of three of our celebrities.
19:46Who do you want to pick first?
19:47Joel.
19:48Joel.
19:49Joel.
19:50Okay.
19:51Joel.
19:52Burning Blank.
19:53Man.
19:54Burning Man.
19:55That's a very, very good answer.
19:57Okay.
19:58Who's your second choice?
19:59Amy.
20:00Amy.
20:01Burning Sensation.
20:02Burning...
20:03Relatable.
20:04Relatable.
20:05Okay.
20:06Who's your third choice?
20:08Lamorne.
20:09Lamorne.
20:10Lamorne.
20:11Flame.
20:12Burning...
20:13Flame.
20:14Okay.
20:15So, you've got Man, Sensation, and Flame.
20:19Now, you can choose one of the three answers, or you can give us one of your own answers.
20:24What do you want to go with?
20:25I'm going to go with Man.
20:26Burning Man.
20:27Burning Man.
20:28Okay.
20:29Let's see how you're doing.
20:30We're looking for Burning Man.
20:31For $2,000, the third most popular answer is...
20:34Burning Bridges.
20:35Okay.
20:36The $3,000 answer is...
20:38Desire.
20:39Those are good.
20:40And this is your last chance.
20:41And I have a good feeling for you.
20:42The $5,000 answer is...
20:44Burning...
20:45Desire.
20:46Oh, those are good.
20:47And this is your last chance.
20:48And I have a good feeling for you.
20:50The $5,000 answer is...
20:52Burning...
20:53No!
20:54There we go.
20:55$5,000!
20:56There we go.
20:57Yeah!
20:58We're going to Eurovision!
20:59No, no, no, no.
21:00We're going to Eurovision!
21:01No, no, no.
21:02She's going with her husband.
21:03Oh.
21:04She's going...
21:05Sorry.
21:06All right.
21:07Now, this is very exciting, because you just won $5,000, but now you have a chance to multiply
21:19that by five.
21:20I'm no big math freak, but that's $25,000.
21:25Yes!
21:26The thing is...
21:27Now, which one of the six celebrities would you like to try to match head to head?
21:32I think I'm vibing with Joel.
21:33Joel!
21:34We're going to Eurovision, as I said.
21:36Yeah.
21:37So, to win $25,000, you must match exactly with Joel.
21:42Yeah.
21:43Please, no help from the audience.
21:44Okay.
21:45Joel, write down your answer to this.
21:50I don't blank.
21:54I don't blank.
21:55I don't blank.
21:57I don't blank.
22:00Oh.
22:01Okay.
22:02He's getting advice from others.
22:05Thankfully, it's not Kevin.
22:07Oh, unfortunately, it is...
22:09Oh, no.
22:10Thank God, he's taking a seat again.
22:12No, he's back again.
22:13I can't say masturbate on an air.
22:20Herbert.
22:21It's not raincoats, right?
22:23Joel, do you have your answer?
22:25There, okay, now he's locked.
22:27Linda, what's your answer?
22:28I don't know.
22:30I don't know.
22:32Okay, turn and face Joel and see what Joel McHale said.
22:37What is your answer, Joel?
22:39Well, Linda, if we're going to Eurovision, I'll be paying.
22:46So, I wrote hair.
22:50Who now hates Joel McHale?
22:54I'm sorry, Linda, you didn't make a match, but you still won $5,000.
23:00Congratulations.
23:02We are halfway through the show, and I've already formed friendships that will last a lifetime.
23:08White celebrity, what's your name, in the top left corner?
23:12That's right.
23:14I don't know.
23:29Welcome back to Match Game.
23:31Who has a question for Kevin Nealon?
23:35Absolutely no one.
23:36Why?
23:39No, it's like talking to a sweet potato.
23:41I think you're the greatest talent.
23:43You know I love you.
23:44You know that.
23:45I love you.
23:46Are you going to come over and kiss me?
23:48No, I'm not.
23:49I was going to, but then the breath.
23:52Ooh!
23:54Let's meet tonight's players, shall we?
23:58Oh, they're ready to go.
24:04Hello!
24:05How are you?
24:06Sarah, you are competing in Miss Universe this summer.
24:10Is that true?
24:11I am.
24:12Wow.
24:13Usually you have a platform when you compete for these things.
24:17You do.
24:18Do you have a platform?
24:19I am an advocate for Crohn's and colitis disease.
24:23And I have an ostomy, which now I can live my life completely me.
24:27Congratulations.
24:28Thank you!
24:29On being an advocate.
24:30Thank you so much.
24:32Hey, Jared.
24:33Hi, Martin.
24:34I read that you're a video game fanatic.
24:36While some people were having sex in high school, I was spending my time wisely playing video games by myself.
24:44Wow.
24:45Yeah.
24:46All right!
24:47Let's play Match Game!
24:48Whoo!
24:53Ooh, I love this little toaster.
24:54Okay.
24:55Jared, do you want question A or B?
24:57I will take a question A, please.
24:59Okay.
25:00Ms. Piggy has been making some serious bank on oinkly fans.
25:07Who knew so many people wanted to see a pig's blank?
25:13Ms. Piggy has been making some serious bank on oinkly fans.
25:20Who knew so many people wanted to see a pig's blank?
25:25What is the blank?
25:27Well, the blank is when I said blank.
25:31Kevin?
25:35No, no.
25:36Don't follow her, Ann.
25:37I'm just trying to make sure that that thing hasn't happened.
25:40I'm trying to work here, Marty, if you don't mind.
25:41I'm sorry.
25:42Go ahead.
25:43We've got...
25:44Siwe?
25:45Annie?
25:46Amy!
25:47Lamorne!
25:48Emmy winner.
25:49That's right.
25:50Say it again.
25:51Emmy winner.
25:52Oh, okay.
25:55Kevin.
25:56No rush.
25:57You are the worst celebrity panelists in the history of game shows.
26:04Not just this game show.
26:06Okay.
26:07Ms. Piggy has been making some serious bank on oinkly fans.
26:10Who knew so many people wanted to see a pig's blank?
26:13Hooves.
26:14Oh.
26:15Hooves.
26:16We're looking for hooves.
26:18I think hooves is a really good answer.
26:19Uh-huh.
26:20What do you have?
26:21But I want to see a little skin and see the pig's tail.
26:25Pig's tail.
26:26Okay.
26:27Okay.
26:28Well...
26:29Pervert.
26:30Amy.
26:31I was thinking an up-close version of the snout.
26:33Of the snout.
26:34Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
26:35You do not...
26:36Lamorne.
26:37Yeah.
26:38Emmy winner.
26:39Well, I don't think so.
26:40Tail.
26:41Tail.
26:42Okay.
26:43It's okay.
26:44We got three more chances, Jared.
26:45It's fine.
26:46Okay.
26:47Who knew so many people wanted to see a pig's blank?
26:51Freaked out a little bit about the grammar, but...
26:55Feet or foot?
26:56Yeah.
26:57And hooves are...
26:58Yeah!
26:59Yeah!
27:00Hey!
27:01All right!
27:02That is absolutely a match.
27:03There we go.
27:04Kevin.
27:05Yes!
27:06Could anyone be less helpful in the history of the world?
27:13All right.
27:14See, wait.
27:15Ham.
27:16Ham.
27:17Yes!
27:18Good answer.
27:19Good answer.
27:20Don't applaud when you don't get it correct.
27:22I'm a vegetarian.
27:23All right.
27:24You got one point, Jared.
27:25Now, Sarah, let's see how you do on your question.
27:29All right.
27:31Ready?
27:32They're releasing a game called Monopoly Hoarders Edition.
27:36Every time you pass go, you collect 200 blanks.
27:41They're releasing a game called Monopoly Hoarders Edition.
27:44Every time you pass go, you collect 200 blanks.
27:49You want to say hints?
27:50No hints.
27:51I can't give you hints.
27:52All right.
27:55Okay.
27:56Okay.
27:57Okay.
27:58Joel.
27:59I have not written down anything, uh, Michael Strahan.
28:02Um...
28:03No, no.
28:04It's Martin Short.
28:05Big fan.
28:06I can't believe you're on the Giants for 16 years.
28:07No, no, no.
28:08Amy's locked in.
28:09Lamont is locked in.
28:10And Joel is locked in.
28:11Okay.
28:12Sarah.
28:13They're releasing a game called Monopoly Hoarders Edition.
28:16Every time you pass go, you collect 200 blanks.
28:19Tupperware.
28:22You collect 200 Tupperware.
28:26Mm.
28:27Yes.
28:28Joel.
28:29We're releasing a game called Monopoly Hoarders Edition.
28:31And every time you pass go, you collect 200 blanks.
28:34Well, I...
28:35We're looking for Tupperware.
28:36And I have a feeling you said Tupperware.
28:41I just know it.
28:42It's...
28:43Glass lock was what I was going to say specifically.
28:45Because I like a...
28:47You know, something that can be put in the oven without the lid.
28:49You're looking for that specific.
28:50Okay.
28:51Well, I know what I do, because I am a slight hoarder, and I just keep collecting pets.
28:58Okay.
28:59Amy.
29:00Every episode I've seen on Clutters, it's been cats.
29:03Oh.
29:04Cats.
29:06Lamorne.
29:07Yeah, I've been to my uncle house.
29:08He's a hoarder.
29:09He is?
29:10He got a lot of figurines.
29:11Your uncle likes figurines.
29:12Yeah, a lot of figurines.
29:13All right.
29:14Now, listen.
29:15You need one to tie, two to win.
29:19And ignore what I said, because we're just in round one.
29:23But I'm talking about later on.
29:26Let's just say it was still one to zero, and we were at this point...
29:30Boy, would you be under pressure.
29:32Okay.
29:34They're releasing a game called Monopoly Hoarders Edition.
29:36Every time you pass Go, you collect 200 blanks.
29:40Uh, I took a slightly more flammable route.
29:44Old newspapers.
29:46Speaking of old newspapers...
29:50Kevin?
29:52What?
29:54You have so many questions.
29:57Um...
29:58You said Hoarders, right?
29:59Yeah.
30:00Oh, I thought it was something else.
30:02I thought it was...
30:03Hooters?
30:05You're welcome.
30:07Thimbles!
30:08Monopoly!
30:09Monopoly!
30:10Monopoly!
30:11Thimbles is one of the...
30:14vehicles.
30:15Wow.
30:16We're talking about Monopoly, aren't we?
30:17Okay, good talking with us.
30:18All right.
30:19All right.
30:20Stay away.
30:21All right.
30:22Show me the money.
30:23I said 200 million dollars.
30:27In the history of this game, there's never been a worse collection of celebrities.
30:32Ever!
30:33I am so sorry, Sarah.
30:35I would have said...
30:36What'd you say?
30:37Tupperware.
30:38Yeah, I would have said Tupperware, too.
30:39That was...
30:40I was thinking.
30:41Okay.
30:42To the end of round one, the score is one to zero.
30:44After the break, I will respond to Kablai reports about my relationship with the original
30:50Wonder Woman, Miss Linda Carter.
31:09Welcome back to Match Game.
31:11Okay.
31:12Jaren, you are ahead by a score of one to zero.
31:15So you get to go first.
31:17In round one, you match with Annie.
31:19So, for this question, you can match with everyone else.
31:22Would you like question A or B?
31:24I'll stick with A, please.
31:25A.
31:26All right, Jared.
31:27Let's do it.
31:29In Celebrities in Space news, Joel McHale tried to take a Blue Origin flight.
31:36But he was told the rocket wasn't big enough to fit his blank.
31:43In Celebrities in Space news, Joel McHale tried to take a Blue Origin flight.
31:47But he was told the rocket wasn't big enough to fit his blank.
31:51The thing that comes to mind, is it?
31:52Kevin?
31:53Kevin?
31:54Kevin?
31:55No, Kevin.
31:56This way, Kevin.
31:57No.
31:58No, no, no.
31:59You have to write something down.
32:00Okay, great.
32:01Get off my back.
32:02Martin, I'm locked in.
32:03Because this really happened to me.
32:04Wow.
32:05I can't wait to not hear that story later.
32:06Okay.
32:07Devin?
32:08You never stop, dude.
32:09There you go.
32:10Okay.
32:11Jared, in Celebrities in Space news, Joel McHale tried to take a Blue Origin flight.
32:26He was told the rocket wasn't big enough to fit his blank.
32:30Ego.
32:31Oh.
32:32Oh.
32:33Oh.
32:34You know what?
32:35You're right.
32:36I am awesome.
32:37Because it is my ego.
32:38Yeah.
32:39Oh, that is good.
32:40Amy.
32:41Ego.
32:42Yes.
32:43Lamorne.
32:44I'm sorry.
32:45I got to go the same route.
32:46Ego.
32:47Oh.
32:48He likes himself.
32:49Oh, my God.
32:50He likes himself.
32:51All right.
32:52Kevin.
32:53Oh, my God.
32:54Oh, my God.
32:55He likes himself.
32:56Kevin.
32:57Oh, my God.
32:58Oh, my God.
32:59He likes himself.
33:00Kevin.
33:01Oh, my God.
33:02He likes himself.
33:03All right.
33:04Kevin.
33:05Can he win if he gets one more?
33:08Just give us your answer, will you?
33:09Come on, man.
33:10A helmet.
33:11There's an answer.
33:12Seriously.
33:13Yeah.
33:14How good am I?
33:15You're charming.
33:16And?
33:17You just aren't helpful.
33:18That's the difference.
33:19Do A.
33:20What?
33:21This is not helpful.
33:22I wrote, penis!
33:23How did you know?
33:25Wow.
33:26Okay.
33:27The score is four to zero.
33:29Now, Sarah, you need four to tie and five to win for a chance at $25,000.
33:37Go, Sarah.
33:38Sarah.
33:39Now, round one, you match no one.
33:41That's right.
33:42So, for this question, you can match with everyone.
33:45Oh, my dear Lord.
33:46Okay.
33:47William, the wine snob, got fired from his job at the sperm bank.
33:53Whenever someone handed him a sample, he blanked it.
33:58What a proud, proud moment this is.
34:12Joel's locked in.
34:13Amy's locked in.
34:14Lamorne's locked in.
34:15Ziwe, once again, we wait for Kevin.
34:20I'm giving you quality here.
34:22There you go.
34:23Okay.
34:24We are all locked in.
34:25This is a kid's show, right?
34:26Yeah, it is.
34:27William, the wine snob, got fired from his job at the sperm bank.
34:32Whenever someone handed him a sample, he blanked it.
34:37Oh, yes.
34:38We need to know.
34:42We'll get to you.
34:43William, the wine snob, got fired from his job at the sperm bank.
34:46Whenever someone handed him a sample, he blanked it.
34:49He drank it.
34:52He drank it.
34:53Good.
34:54Good.
34:55I'm kidding.
34:56What about what they're cheering for right now?
34:57I know.
34:58You know, I'm a Tony winner.
35:01Okay.
35:02William, the wine snob, got fired from his job at the sperm bank.
35:07Whenever someone handed him a sample, he blanked it and were looking for drank it.
35:17Well, good news and bad news at the same time, but this guy is a real pervert.
35:24Well...
35:25Amy.
35:26Well...
35:27Amy.
35:28He swallowed it.
35:29Um, I think.
35:30Yeah.
35:31Yeah, that's insane.
35:32Okay.
35:33All right.
35:34Amy.
35:35Let me tell you something.
35:36I used to work at a sperm bank.
35:37Really?
35:38Yeah.
35:39Sometimes they don't have water fountains, they don't have vending machines, so you get a
35:41little thirsty.
35:42Uh...
35:43Sorry.
35:44I've never done it.
35:45I bring my own water.
35:46No, no.
35:47Yeah.
35:48Okay.
35:49It is four to three.
35:50You need one to tie and two more to win.
35:53Okay, Annie.
35:54This is why you don't let your grandmother play a match game.
35:57I didn't want to be too offensive.
36:00He uncorked it.
36:01And then drank it.
36:02I like that.
36:03He let it breathe.
36:07He let it breathe, ladies and gentlemen.
36:09Okay.
36:10Kevin.
36:11This is why you do not copy half of your partner's thing.
36:16He drank it.
36:21Okay, we are all tied up, Sarah.
36:23Sarah.
36:24This can give you a win.
36:26I have to apologize as a virgin conservative.
36:31Um...
36:32Because he drank it.
36:33Oh, yes.
36:34Congratulations.
36:35Sarah, you are our champion.
36:38We have to say goodbye to Jared.
36:42Supermatch is next.
36:44Congratulations.
36:53Welcome back.
36:54It's time for Supermatch.
36:55No lifelines.
36:56No phone or friend.
36:57Just you, your instincts, and a panel that once asked if you needed a passport for New Mexico.
37:14Sarah, you have a shot at winning $25,000.
37:20$25,000.
37:21What would you do with that kind of money?
37:23I would book a trip to the Maldives with my best friends and spend some well-deserved time in a bikini.
37:29I used to fear wearing bikinis because of my ostomy bag, and now I just like embracing who I am.
37:34It would be literally the best thing.
37:35I love that.
37:36I love that.
37:37So we're going to start with an audience match.
37:39We recently polled the Match Game Home audience and got their most popular responses to this.
37:49Hip blank.
37:50Now, if you can guess the third most popular answer, you win $2,000.
37:54The second most popular answer, $3,000.
37:57And the most popular answer, $5,000.
38:01Now, to help with the suggestions, you can enlist the aid of three of our celebrities.
38:06Who do you want?
38:07Lamar.
38:08Yes, because we're going to the Maldives together.
38:10Oh, yeah.
38:11Packers swim shorts.
38:12Let's go.
38:13Hip blank.
38:14Hop.
38:15Hip hop.
38:16That's a very good one.
38:18Okay, who's your second choice?
38:20I'm going to go with Z-Way.
38:21Z-Way?
38:22Okay.
38:23Hip.
38:24You just say it.
38:25I know.
38:26He's just writing the worst ideas.
38:28Come on, girl.
38:29I need you.
38:30That's his epithet.
38:31Hip replacement.
38:32Hip replacement.
38:34And who's your third celebrity choice?
38:36Joel.
38:37I don't know if this is, uh, works, but stir.
38:40Oh.
38:41Hip stir.
38:42You know that word stir, don't you?
38:44Yes.
38:45Okay.
38:46We've got hop, replacement, and stir.
38:49Now, you can choose one of their three answers, or give us one of your own.
38:55What answer do you want to go with?
38:56I'm going to go with hop.
38:58Hip hop.
39:00Okay, let's see how you've done.
39:02For $2,000, the third most popular answer is...
39:07Hip to be square.
39:08Okay.
39:09Okay.
39:10Well, not bad.
39:12The $3,000 answer is...
39:15Replacement.
39:16Yeah.
39:17And this is your last chance to match for $5,000.
39:23The answer is...
39:25Hip hop.
39:27You won $5,000.
39:30Okay.
39:31Now, you have the chance to multiply that by five with our celebrity head-to-head match.
39:40You could win $25,000 if you match this.
39:44Okay.
39:45Which one of our six celebrities would you like to go with?
39:48LeMorne.
39:50LeMorne!
39:52Match made in heaven.
39:53Okay, to win $25,000, you have to match LeMorne exactly.
39:58Now, turn toward me.
40:00Get ready.
40:01And please, no audience help.
40:03LeMorne!
40:04Write down your answer to this.
40:08Blank palace.
40:11Blank palace.
40:14He's getting help.
40:16Blank palace.
40:22Well, listen to that cackle.
40:28I was right last time.
40:30That's probably it.
40:35Let's dance, shall we?
40:37I love dancing.
40:38You love dancing?
40:39Yeah.
40:40How come?
40:41I actually used to be a competitive dancer when I was younger.
40:44Really?
40:45I did hip hop, I did a little bit of break dance, a little bit of stomp.
40:49Hmm.
40:51What a great story.
40:52Okay.
40:55How do you spell Tupperware?
40:58This happened last time and I was so correct.
41:00It's time to lock it in.
41:04Don't judge me.
41:05Okay.
41:06All right.
41:08Okay, LeMorne is ready.
41:09Yeah.
41:10What you need, bro?
41:11I'm gonna be over here.
41:12No, no, no.
41:14Sarah, what is your answer?
41:18Caesar's palace.
41:19Caesar's palace.
41:22Okay.
41:23LeMorne.
41:24What's up?
41:25What's up?
41:26Where are you going?
41:27I'm just doing Kegels.
41:28That's all.
41:29What is your answer for $25,000?
41:34You say $25,000?
41:36Yeah.
41:37Caesar's palace is the answer we're looking for.
41:40Turn around.
41:41LeMorne.
41:42What's your answer?
41:44Caesar's.
41:45Yeah.
41:46Yeah.
41:47Yeah.
41:48Yeah.
41:49Yeah.
41:50Yeah.
41:51Congratulations.
41:52You just won $25,000.
41:53Congratulations.
41:54Good night, everybody.
41:55Yeah.
41:56Congratulations.
41:57Thank you, everybody.
41:59Congratulations.
42:01I got to go with my instincts.
42:05Hey.
42:07Okay, now, I would have said Buckingham.
42:09I was going to say Buckingham.
42:11I always said Buckingham, and I was like,
42:13I got a feeling at Caesars.
42:15Everybody needs Buckingham.
42:19Good job.
42:21Good job.
42:23Congratulations.
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