- 10 months ago
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00:00you see after the person is dead you remember that person right but when the person is alive
00:05do you remember death i repeat my question when the person is dead you remember that person
00:12but when the person is alive do you remember death
00:15all of us have dealt with grief in some or the other way we have lost our loved ones right
00:22but to detach yourself from that situation and just be the observer how do you start that it is
00:28not death that scares us unlived life is what we grief for who is not dying every moment please
00:37tell me who is not dying every moment how does one bring out that depth in one's life and living
00:46who wants to admit life is dry and loveless so he said no yeah i have so many loving friends
00:53and family members and meet my new girlfriend and she is already looking over her shoulder that one
01:00is nice
01:00but real love is also there sir why are you discounting it please show me where it is
01:07no sir then the real love doesn't exist it can if it doesn't exist then you won't suffer
01:13you won't be restless do you know why you can't sleep properly nobody can
01:18do you know why we are always discontented
01:21my name is sanya and i'm a phd student finally a phd student so there is always an extent of
01:34i'll talk about grief here okay so all of us have dealt with grief in some or the other way we have
01:40lost our loved ones right so as an observer who should not be participating in it but then
01:46you always have an extent of feeling towards people who you are losing for example if you
01:51lose a parent the grief or the feeling of losing that person even if you try to observe okay this
01:57is the hormones this is what is happening and eventually it will dilute maybe or maybe not
02:02but to detach yourself from that situation and just be the observer i think it is the most difficult
02:08thing to do and how do you start that where what what is the beginning you see after the person
02:14is dead you remember that person right but when the person is alive do you remember death
02:20it also depends on the context like if you know the person has chronic illness you will imagine
02:28the person has chronic illness you will remember death only three four times a day that too reluctantly
02:35i repeat my question when the person is dead when the person is dead you remember that person
02:43but when the person is alive do you remember death not exactly you don't and and that's where
02:53suffering lies because when you do not remember death then you waste the time you have with that
03:01person while alive and that's why there is so much grief because time had been wasted so much was
03:10possible when the person was alive you squandered the opportunity and that's what entire grief is for
03:18we don't remember death we we think of death as something ugly but facts cannot be ugly facts are just facts
03:27but in the moment of love in the moment of ownership attachment possessiveness we hate to remember death
03:36the mother holding the mother holding the baby in her arms would just not want to imagine death
03:43yeah right embracing your beloved you won't want to think of the skull the bones the ashes would you
03:55and then you waste the opportunity death has to be seen as a fact a fact not at
04:04the end of a string but as a present reality everything is changing all the time that is death why do you
04:16avoid it even if this person is said to stay alive for another three decades she won't be
04:26the same when she is this evening and I waste away this evening because I forget there would be change
04:33that there would be death so the evening is gone and tomorrow she'll be another person and then I'll regret
04:42regret and one day when this body will be ashes and I'll regret even more it is not death that scares us
04:54unlived life is what we grieve for so I think I can translate it as like when we grieve for others we are
05:04grieving for ourselves who is not dying every moment please tell me who is not dying every moment
05:16then why do you want to believe that the person as you see him right now would be carried over to
05:28the future no one gets carried over to the future no one which means this is all that you have this
05:36person would be dead in an hour an hour is too much you would be dead in a minute a minute is too much
05:43you would be gone in another second why don't you make the most out of this then and that's where grief
05:51lies you don't make the most out of this because you choose to forget death especially when you are
05:58young especially when all seems green and verdant and vibrant right death is a scare the god of death
06:11is shown with such a hideous face and such a crazy appearance in all cultures
06:22but death is life when I'm teaching my students I tell them only death is born only death is born how can
06:37you avoid death this that you are seeing is not a human being it's death why do you want to suppress
06:44the fact yes you want to suppress the fact and when you suppress it it explodes when it explodes then we
06:54weep I am Amit Kumar Khoiwal I am a master's first year student in entrepreneurship and management
07:02department welcome and I happen to pan down my question that I have so Acharya Ji I wish to ask about
07:09bringing depth into life having a face situations where the fragility of life became very evident such
07:17as near-death experiences and also losing loved ones I have realized how impermanent everything is
07:24at the same time life open appears repetitive almost mechanical this creates an existential crisis
07:32where many deep questions arise but very few answers seem satisfying to truly face and transcend this I feel
07:41one needs a certain depth and expansiveness of consciousness my question is how does one bring
07:48out that depth in one's life and living mostly what is shallow has already been labeled as deep
07:58now is depth even needed it's relative you care whatever is deep for one person might just be
08:07we are limiting ourselves to one person okay if that one person has already labeled shallow as deep
08:15is depth even needed that's the answer yeah start seeing that all that you call as deep is very shallow
08:28shallow and then some depth will reveal itself otherwise there is no need for depth you have already
08:36taken something very superficial as deep yeah that would be dependent on your context of your problem or your purpose so
08:45so one shallow situation might just be yes yes yes when you say oh I love you deeply please see how shallow that is
08:54when you say you know my religion has great depth please see how shallow what you call your religion is not talking of religion itself
09:05yes the ego this the the participating self this one the ego hates to admit that it is stupid whereas it is obviously otherwise it won't participate
09:26right so it keeps labeling in the most mischievous way
09:33see that happening all around oh he's my life partner like really what kind of label are you assigning this is the house of my dreams really I'm not saying that dreams are false I'm saying this is not even a house
09:53not even a house not even a house I'm educated really and if you think you are educated education stops I don't I won't settle for less I won't fear anybody like really when you start labeling covered eyes as courage
10:21as courage courage is killed but the ego won't accept that it is a coward
10:28it will label cowardize itself as some brand of courage who wants to admit life is dry and loveless so we say no I have so many loving friends and family members and meet my new girlfriend
10:50my new girlfriend and she is already looking over her shoulder that one is nice
10:57yeah but so many things I am educated and if they are all are meaningless so I think 99.99% people are tired to find these things only so if all of that is meaningless will we say that no will we first figure out where the
11:20the weather that is meaningless please tell me but everyone expect something in their life some some expect the power some expect the money some expect the beautiful relations
11:32yes right but if in the garb of power what you have gathered is dependency how wise are you please tell me again if in the name of love you have accumulated dependency or exploitation how wise are you what did you order from the menu and what have you on your table
12:00how wise are you to consume it now and then pay the bill you didn't want this for sure
12:07you didn't want this for sure but then you didn't know the dish you went to a Mexican restaurant and ordered some fancy thing first time heard the name and then he brings you something you have no way of determining whether this is that so you eat it and also pay for it that's love
12:28without knowing what love is why do you place an order even not that materialistic kind of love like okay just if we if a person want to be a kind person that everyone cannot get hurt if everyone will want this then only the people will be right I'll be a kind person who doesn't want to hurt anybody
12:56sir sir please say you want this please say you want this please say you want this and I'm a kind person I don't want to hurt anybody what do I do what kind of notions are these what is this so you are saying that that is also some kind of like we are having some purpose bad labeling bad labeling you are labeling desire as kindness
13:25you are labeling desire as love deceptive labeling that's all nothing else the mother loves the child unconditionally yes only her child and is that not a condition the very first condition I have unconditional love for my own child I have unconditional love for my own child
13:52don't you see through all this don't you see through all this the idea here was sir you are talking of the materialistic kind of love but real love is also there sir why are you discounting it please show me where it is
14:09no sir then the real love doesn't exist can if it doesn't exist then you won't suffer you won't be restless
14:16do you know why you can't sleep properly nobody can do you know why we are always discontented that is love but instead of getting into it we settle for something very small and say you know sweetheart
14:33so we all pursue something in life career goal or personal aspirations often these pursuits takes us to a certain place position or state we are also told that one must have a purpose in life
14:48but I have seen that having a purpose does not always translate into true meaning or some fulfillment so my question is what should be the wise or smart approach so that our pursuit of purpose also leads to genuine meaning and fulfillment in life
15:05first of all you have to drive the crowd away from your interiors the moment you say purpose what you get is a very limited list to choose from
15:17and that limited list has been supplied to you by the crowd by tradition by history by surroundings by peers by all these so you have a list
15:27and that list contains maybe some 10-15 items and you pick one of them ticking that box you think you have exercised choice
15:35no that is not choice that is not choice
15:37right
15:40that's like choosing like like
15:42which wall of this hall do I choose to break my head on
15:47that kind of choice
15:49my purpose has to be something totally innate
15:55totally innate
15:57it has to be irrespective of even your education
16:01in the reptilian brain
16:02like
16:03yes the reptilian brain the evolutionary brain it's all coming from there yes but why
16:07must be so
16:09so captivated by it
16:11all that is this
16:12and this is who you are
16:13why must you allow the limitations of this
16:16to become your limitations
16:18remember
16:20so
16:21so the matter of purpose
16:23now what can determine your purpose
16:26only your own situation
16:29and you are situated in this world
16:33right
16:34we are not hanging somewhere in a vacuum
16:36so there is this
16:39there is this
16:40and if I know both of them
16:43a purpose will spontaneously arise
16:45but instead we allow the crowd to dictate our purpose
16:50without knowing this
16:52without knowing this
16:53you see
16:54how loveless the crowd is
16:56and you see
16:58how deep an act of love it is to know
17:00to know
17:02do we know what's going on in the world
17:05do we understand
17:06do we know our own situation
17:08and if we know that
17:10then we'll know what next to do
17:12spontaneous
17:14effortless
17:15action arises
17:16and you are unstoppable
17:18because you know
17:19nobody can convince you
17:21against your own discretion
17:23because you know
17:25otherwise
17:26otherwise
17:27think of the choices we made
17:29the purposes that we hold
17:31this one
17:32the wise one
17:33would come and convince me
17:34against what I have decided
17:35does that not happen
17:36for 40 days
17:39you said
17:39I have finally found
17:41the ultimate purpose of life
17:43one step away from a contradiction
17:46beautifully put
17:48one step away from being contradicted
17:51and then you are again waiting for
17:56somebody to lean on
17:58and this person will now come in
18:00and hand over
18:02another purpose
18:04only to be contradicted
18:06by this one this time
18:08last time it was this one
18:10and these are not persons
18:13these are situations
18:14these are phenomena
18:14right
18:15something can happen
18:17it could be an event
18:18and now you again are left
18:21feeling like a fool
18:22I was carrying this thing
18:24close to the heart
18:26for so long
18:27and now it doesn't appear meaningful
18:30what do I go for next
18:31so
18:32please understand
18:34this and this
18:36and then you will get something
18:38that may have nothing to do
18:40with the
18:40with what the crowd does
18:42and yet
18:43may be
18:43just the right thing for you
18:45and that requires courage
18:47right
18:48but but that's what
18:51you must have
18:52because you are young
18:52and you are educated
18:53so courage to finding
18:56the
18:57the purpose
18:58isn't that also
19:00appending
19:00the list
19:01to add one more thing
19:02in that list
19:03no that dissolves the list
19:04you tear away the list
19:06no list anymore
19:07no list anymore
19:09even I do not know
19:11my purpose in some sense
19:12it is a happening
19:13it is arising spontaneously
19:16knowing has become doing
19:20knowing has not become deciding
19:25it is not a decision
19:28it is not a decision
19:30because decisions can be
19:31changed
19:32reversed
19:32yes
19:33it is not a decision
19:34it is unstoppable
19:36but this instant happening thing
19:38coma person
19:39huh
19:39yes yes yes yes yes
19:42yes
19:42very intricately seen
19:45yes
19:45in the coma person
19:47and in this one
19:48there is such great similarity
19:50both appear to be flowing
19:54both appear to lack agency
19:57both appear to lack
20:00an inner controlling agency
20:02you know
20:03you were talking of
20:04Advaita Vedanta
20:05and I said
20:05many many
20:07of the wisdom traditions
20:09of the world
20:10they talk of awakening
20:12as
20:13the great
20:14inner beautiful death
20:15death of the one
20:17who never existed at all
20:18so you are worse
20:21than now being in coma
20:22you are actually
20:24dying
20:26the comatose one
20:29can never afford death
20:30but you have embraced death
20:33you have embraced death
20:35and now you are flowing
20:36but the quality of this flow
20:37is fundamentally different
20:39from the quality
20:40of the flow
20:41of the comatose person
20:43apparently that
20:44they will be the same
20:44the comatose person
20:46doesn't decide
20:47the awakened person
20:49also doesn't
20:51decide
20:51that one looks like flowing
20:53this one also looks like flowing
20:55that one looks mad
20:57this one also looks mad
20:58yet
20:59yet there is a great difference
21:00isn't that one
21:02series of impulses
21:05yes
21:06that one
21:07has a series of impulses
21:08this one
21:09has become an observer
21:10of all impulses
21:12all such series
21:12but
21:13being
21:14for
21:14being an observer
21:15I have to delve into
21:17that impulse also
21:18no no
21:18that would be purpose
21:19all observation
21:21is purposeless
21:23if you have a purpose
21:25then you will distort
21:26the observation
21:27whenever you
21:29you go to
21:30look at something
21:31with an aim
21:32with a goal
21:33with a purpose
21:34or desire
21:35you will end up
21:36distorting what you are seeing
21:37it all starts with
21:43understanding that
21:44there is no absolute truth
21:45for any
21:46belief that you have
21:47it's only
21:48a relative one
21:49constraint
21:50you can start from there
21:51you can start from there
21:52and having
21:53seen
21:54the futility
21:55of all relatives
21:56all relatives
21:58yeah
21:58yeah
21:58you could say
22:00with nobody
22:02left to say anything
22:03this is the absolute
22:05yeah
22:06it is just
22:07different frame of
22:08references
22:09yeah
22:09frame of reference
22:10as long as
22:11there is
22:12somebody
22:13relative
22:13to what is
22:14relative
22:15you are only
22:16talking of
22:16relatives
22:17but
22:18isn't that
22:19observer
22:20also being
22:21a frame of
22:21reference
22:22from which
22:22it is observing
22:23no
22:23no
22:23no
22:24because it has
22:25nothing to do
22:26with anything
22:27it is not
22:28impacting
22:28but you said
22:29it has an effect
22:30on this
22:31if it is
22:32purposeful
22:32or desirous
22:33if it wants
22:34to be the consumer
22:34then it will
22:35destroy this
22:36if it is an
22:37observer
22:38obviously doesn't
22:39interfere
22:39it has nothing
22:40to do with
22:41this
22:42that's observation
22:43so it is just
22:44a different
22:45not any form
22:46of matter
22:46or any form
22:47of
22:47yes
22:48yes
22:48it does not
22:49occupy
22:49yes
22:49because if it
22:50is matter
22:51matter
22:52will interact
22:52with matter
22:53matter
22:55cannot help
22:56interact with
22:56matter
22:57is there
22:58anything called
22:59an inert
22:59material
23:00not
23:01not ideally
23:02even that which
23:02you call as
23:03inert
23:03is actually
23:04reactive
23:04yes
23:05you just need
23:06to give it
23:06the right
23:06condition
23:07yes
23:07so if this
23:08is material
23:09this cannot
23:10be an observer
23:11it will become
23:11a participant
23:12so it is just
23:14something inert
23:15which is beyond
23:16the form of
23:17consciousness
23:17it is nothing
23:18it is nothing
23:19it is nothing
23:19hi this is
23:25Ashutosh Singh
23:26from Kanpur
23:27I am an
23:28IT professional
23:29working from
23:30almost 10 years
23:31now
23:31I am listening
23:33to Acharya Ji
23:34from last
23:34almost one and a
23:35half years
23:36already
23:36I started
23:38listening to him
23:39from YouTube
23:39channel
23:39and the videos
23:42what he makes
23:43and the knowledge
23:44which he actually
23:45shares
23:45is truly
23:47mind-blowing
23:47I mean
23:48that's something
23:49which you really
23:50start realizing
23:51about your own
23:51life
23:52there is a lot
23:54which we do
23:55in IT world
23:56I would literally
23:57want to say
23:58that IT people
23:58are literally
23:59intelligent enough
24:00to learn machines
24:01but there is a
24:02really good machine
24:04that's our own
24:05body and then
24:06a conscious mind
24:07we should literally
24:08spend time
24:09to learn
24:10ourselves
24:11better
24:11and I think
24:12I am into
24:13Bhagavad Gita
24:13just because
24:14I am more
24:15into learning
24:17my own self
24:17if you literally
24:19feel
24:19that you are
24:20into pain
24:21and you don't
24:22even realize it
24:23and you are
24:23still into
24:24rat race
24:24for the entire
24:25life
24:25come on
24:26we all need
24:27to really die
24:28we all are
24:29born to die
24:29why not do
24:30something better
24:31learn ourselves
24:32learn our lives
24:33realize what
24:34the purpose of
24:35life
24:36and then die
24:36this is something
24:38better right
24:38I have realized
24:39it
24:39and the favorite
24:41word in English
24:41I would say
24:42is choice
24:44yeah
24:45so we all
24:46have choice
24:47I had choice
24:48I have made
24:49a choice
24:49which is literally
24:50mind blowing
24:51in my life
24:52and that's the
24:53same choice
24:53which you all
24:54also have
24:55come on
24:57let's pick it up
24:57and change
24:58our own life
24:59thank you
25:00happy
25:02there
25:02it
25:04is
25:05good
25:05so
25:06to
25:07see you
25:08and
25:09we
25:09continue
25:09to
25:10and
25:11and
25:13we
25:14to
25:14see you
25:15by the way
25:16we
25:17we
25:19we
25:19we
25:20we
25:21we
25:21we
25:22we
25:23we
25:23we
25:24we
25:24we
25:25we
25:25we
25:26we