Warren's Vortex (2025) Season 1 Episode 2

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Warren's Vortex Warren's Vortex (2025) S01E02 Warren's Vortex (2025) Season 1 Episode 2- Detached From Reality

Transcript

00:00Tumbling through an interdimensional vortex, Warren and Lucy discover twisted versions

00:06of their own world, always hoping the next one will be home.

00:18Oh, I hate when it does that.

00:22Where's this?

00:23I don't know, but at least there's no fridges trying to kill us.

00:27Warren and Lucy, you are out of bounds.

00:29You will return immediately or face elimination.

00:33Ericka, run!

01:00Elimination!

01:09No droves are trying to kill us!

01:11Elimination!

01:13Elimination!

01:15Elimination!

01:17In a shock reveal, Warren and Lucy have re-entered the game.

01:28What happened to your tracksuits?

01:39I'm getting the feeling that we're in some kind of game.

01:46Dad, I hope I inherit your power of perception.

01:52Guys, this is no game.

01:56This is reality.

02:16Contestants from number 23 Haerewa Street.

02:26Welcome to the first challenge.

02:36Ah, we might be in some real trouble, eh?

02:46But at least there are no evil fridges.

02:48I think we'll just play along until we can work out what's going on.

02:52Dad, have you ever seen Squid Game?

02:54Is that the fishing one with Clark Gaffer in it?

02:56In your teams, you must choose one person to be blindfolded.

03:06The other will direct their partner down a path using only the power of their voices.

03:12First team to raise their flag at the end wins.

03:16Oh, and try not to step on the polygons of death.

03:22Um, excuse me?

03:24Can you repeat the first bit, please?

03:26I was miles away.

03:28So, um, we were given these tracksuits to wear and socks and shoes.

03:36And then, um, we were driven to the place where the maze was set up.

03:40That's the game.

03:42There was a sound and we started the game.

03:46Nekaki Maui, Warren.

03:51Maui.

03:52I am going Maui.

03:54Wait, Maui's left, is it?

03:56Maybe you haven't even moved.

03:57You know, I get confused with left and right here.

04:00Ah!

04:01Pick up Ma, that's electrified.

04:02Well, that's why I said left.

04:04Warren and Hine are off to a shocking start,

04:07as Warren struggles to understand the complicated notion of left.

04:11Left.

04:12Left.

04:13Left.

04:14Left!

04:15Left!

04:16Left!

04:17Like I left you!

04:18Hey!

04:19Yeah, okay, now 10.

04:2137 degrees nor east and take five half-yard strides.

04:24What?

04:25Just use normal instructions!

04:27Not my fault you didn't take nautical training.

04:29Hey!

04:30No one has taken nautical training!

04:33Yes, Beau.

04:34That's perfect.

04:35Now walk forwards for two medium steps.

04:38Got it.

04:39Bo's heart rate seems to rise every time Lucy speaks.

04:43Oh!

04:44Ignore that!

04:45Bo's cheeks are flushed red.

04:47Are those the signs of young love?

04:50Shut up!

04:51Sauron!

04:52You massive eyehole!

04:53Eyehole!

04:54Focus!

04:55Pipe steps!

04:56Stop!

04:57What?

04:58What?

04:59What?

05:00What?

05:01What?

05:02What?

05:03You're about to step into the polygon.

05:04Poly- who?

05:05Oh.

05:06I-I don't know anything about reality TV to be honest.

05:10Ah, I accidentally watched Naked Attraction once.

05:15I accidentally watched naked attraction once people weren't very attractive but

05:20they were very naked I'm tired of being told what to do by you for the last 20

05:26years you keep telling me what to do yeah and you were blind for those 20

05:29years as well so nothing's changed oh ha ha ha I see what you did there you know

05:34what for 20 years you tell me oh you can't cut your toenails in the kitchen

05:3820 years you tell me oh leave the toilet lid down for 20 years you tell me we

05:43can't do it in the frozen produce section at the supermarket because it's unhygienic

05:47let me finish because it's unhygienic you know what I can do whatever I want to do

05:53okay I don't have to stand right here because I'm gonna stand right he's gone

06:04uh-oh Murray is our first contestant to be eliminated when Murray and I broke up I

06:11decided he was dead to me and now he actually is dead sorry does anybody have

06:19like one to three bottles of wine handy I smell a conspiracy yeah because if you

06:28think my body's disappeared we've taken my body as if zapping us with lasers wasn't

06:34nothing now you're taking it's the green tracksuit on the green screen we're gonna

06:43have to win this game type in the vortex aren't we why did it have to be reality tv I'd rather

06:49walk barefoot across lego than watch reality tv let alone be in one what the heck happened

06:55aren't you guys in the vortex oh wait you're a different warren and lucy aren't you now we're

07:05the warren and lucy yeah the best warren and lucy five stars will not disappoint whatever so can you

07:12be basil it's position for us we don't have time for this hey all you need to know is that

07:17Aotearoa got taken off by a big corporation and turned it into one big ugly reality tv

07:21shop right now they're probably subtitling every single word we say

07:25so this is happening in every backyard

07:31it's my wrinkly butt big rubber

07:34not Mrs. Schrodinger

07:36oh no the cat's using her ashes it's a litter trade bad cat some sneaky players have emerged

07:50it seems an alliance is forming between hene warren and lucy it's not an alliance we're whanau

07:58yeah yeah you tell them alternate anymore thanks alternate babe contestants who are still alive

08:04make your way to tribal council

08:07here's some shots you've already seen but have probably already forgotten

08:14right here

08:15and then it was the air brake

08:20contestants you must vote for someone to be eliminated

08:26um can i vote for people who say hashtag not all men

08:29let the voting begin

08:31the votes have been counted the first person voted out of the game at number 23

08:53Heidi was street and the second person to be eliminated is

08:57moral

09:01oh my god

09:06i've got a few things to say

09:11first of all r.i.p murray

09:14he may have been a wet fart of a husband but he was a good man

09:18second of all beau

09:20you will always be my baby boy

09:22and i would like to say that i'm extremely proud of how i conducted myself in this game

09:28i stayed true to myself

09:30i was honest

09:31i was respectful to my fellow contestants

09:34so you can all suck my big fat

09:37the game has spoken

09:44it's room makeover time

09:47contestants must make over their rooms but they'll only have

09:5160 seconds

09:53we have to make over this entire room in 60 seconds it takes me longer just to put my jeans on

10:01i could help

10:02ooh

10:03shut up alternate beau

10:05i have been to every design class for real estate beginners my work had to offer

10:11i know how to mix patterns and create a feature wall

10:13how can a wall be a feature yeah it is a structural necessity invented by the bavarian illuminati in the 18th century

10:21what do you think these bad boys

10:22so this challenge seems way less dangerous than the last one

10:26shh don't drink that

10:27and there's just one more thing

10:29while you're carrying out the challenge the rooms will be slowly filling up

10:35with poisonous gas

10:37good luck teams your time starts

10:44now

10:46what are you doing

10:55it's the best way to get the ideal hang

10:57we have 60 seconds just put it on the wall

11:02well it's going to be all over the place i'm just saying babe

11:05where did i put that hammer

11:06oh yep

11:07come on the chair

11:08come on the chair

11:13babe is there a pencil over there

11:26alright

11:27it's just a light cushion chop in the middle with the side of your hand

11:31hi yah

11:32here we go give it a go

11:34darren it's a pillow

11:36be a masseuse not a chiropractor

11:38go paint that wall apricot

11:41right now

11:42don't forget the paint

11:43so angry darren honestly

11:48does it look over me

11:58i don't know

11:59i don't think this can go wrong i think this could be it moron

12:05i don't know

12:06i don't know

12:07honey

12:08shut your mouth

12:09excuse me

12:10i mean cover your mouth and hold your breath

12:12hold your breath

12:13ah

12:14lucy

12:15cover your mouth or something and hold your breath

12:27yeah it's all about how you control the roller to give a smooth and structured finish

12:31of course you don't want to leave a wet edge

12:32of course you don't want to leave a wet edge

12:33and no one cares that you painted a wall mr man's planer

12:36i'm the one that made this room come alive

12:38Warren and Hine went the shabby chic route but only got as far as the shabby

12:55lucy and beau have gone for the car crash aesthetic

12:58unfortunately they've nailed it and they're our worst performing team

13:03they're our front runners for elimination

13:07ian and darren have pulled off a stunner

13:10beautiful use of colour really ties in this contemporary look

13:14these are clearly our front runners

13:17but hang on

13:18oh no

13:19it looks like they've been overcome by the toxic gas

13:23their room took our breath away

13:25looks like theirs as well

13:27lucy and beau are safe

13:31dad we need to be on the same team

13:35if i stay with puppy boy over there i'll be ash in minutes

13:38i say we ditch our partners and form our own team

13:41what about your mum

13:42she's not my mum and she's not your wife

13:45yeah but she looks really good in that tracksuit though like

13:49dad focus

13:51i'll go tell beau you go tell mum

13:54fake mum

13:55oh no beau has left the gaming area and will be eliminated

14:02no i was just i was just chasing a butterfly

14:04ah

14:05at least you don't have to tell him you're dumping him

14:10at least you don't have to tell him you're dumping him contestants there are now no more teams

14:19we've moved on to individual challenges to find one single winner well i don't have to break up

14:26anymore anymore dad one single winner you two how to make oh it's time for the feed your fear

14:38challenge oh no we're gonna have to eat gross animal parts aren't we oh oh well we can cope with that

14:46loose we can cope with any vile disgusting things they put in front of us in a shock twist we're

14:51bringing in a wild card entry to the game the winner of the game at number 21 haitiwa street

14:59officer phil doyle g'day g'day bon appetites eh bon appetites

15:08oh something smells good and it ain't my aftershave

15:11contestants prepare to face your culinary fears remove your lids

15:20hinamua must eat three week old raw fish from tail to head oh no lucy must eat sheep droppings

15:32oh what are the odds warren has to eat pig sphincters what a bummer mate that didn't look so bad

15:39wait what's the sphincter again you monsters while our wild card phil has to eat a delicious jam scone

15:51oh no oh come on i gotta eat a bum hole bottom's our parison oh wait there's no cream here

16:00oh thank you very much you'll have 60 seconds to eat everything on your plates

16:06are you ready contestants ready ready

16:09these are way chewier than i expected and no flavor wait my steaky steve's hot sauce

16:24dad i can't do this want some hot sauce no

16:31babe what are you doing i'm not eating one lucy if you eat one of those then i'll be eliminated and not

16:36you but um lucy koha harrison you do as you're told and you eat that poo

16:42i can't it's poo

16:46eat the poo papa i'll be okay

16:58time's up it looks like heena hasn't even touched her fish so she'll be eliminated

17:06um

17:11what's wrong with him

17:13i don't know but wait it seems phil has an undisclosed jam allergy

17:20oh no poor guy's dying

17:25yep at least i got to watch you eat butt moles arison yep and it was glory

17:31and gone

17:39sadly heena will still need to be eliminated what that's not fair

17:44i hate it when your wife who's not really your wife gets uh blasted off the face of the earth

17:56really dampens the mood

17:57just two players remain one will win one will be eliminated okay honey listen

18:09your mum who's not your mum sacrificed herself for you so now it's my turn

18:14okay no no you have to win and you have to make it home so i'm gonna make damn sure that i fail no

18:21matter what the next challenge is i'm gonna be the worst in the world at it okay i'm gonna fail like

18:26no one's ever failed before welcome to the final backyard barbecue challenge

18:32contestants you're required to cook the perfect medium rare steak of course and who will judge the

18:40perfect barbecue steak who

18:46stanky steve creator of stanky steve's world famous hot sauce

18:50stanky steve's hot sauce it's stanktastic make us explosive diarrhea

18:55y'all know if it don't stink it ain't in the bank

18:59tina koe te rakatira

19:02who is that

19:04he's only the greatest barbecue who ever lived next to liam neeson's personal chef

19:09please welcome your second judge

19:12liam neeson's personal chef mike o'shaughnessy

19:16i feel like i'm being ripped apart by joy and sadness

19:21grillers ready ready yep and grill

19:30i think so good uh another two minutes and then take it off what are you gonna do

19:50i'm gonna burn my steak but you you have to watch that like a hawk and in approximately

19:5935 seconds you're gonna take it off the grill do you understand i understand it's been a pleasure

20:04grilling with you lucy harrison

20:17you don't

20:28thank you darling

20:30warren's steak is more eye-watering than mouth-watering

20:34this sucks lucy must bring her plate up to the judges

20:51oh my god you actually liked it

21:21you know i'm quite taken with this well done

21:36and finally warren must bring his plate forward for judgment

21:54i have tasted roadkill after a forest fire

22:22and tasted better than this

22:25i'm not eating that no way

22:29and so salty

22:32this is quite literally the saddest day of my entire life

22:35the winner of the barbecue challenge is

22:47lucy

22:54hey thank you for burning your steak for me dad

22:58i know it was really hard for you

23:00it's one of the hardest things i've had to do my entire life but

23:04i'd do it i'd do it all again because for you sweetheart i'd do anything

23:10warren it's elimination time

23:12whoa how did that happen

23:19this us supporting each other must be the key to opening the vortex

23:21we're not back

23:34i'm pretty sure this is not our home

23:37i'm pretty sure it's not our home

23:38three-bedroom two-bathroom central very reluctant

23:42what war can you ask for

23:43it's a picket fence haven't

23:44this is a coin world

23:48they're robots

23:49cheese it

23:50and we still can't afford to have a roof over our heads

23:53we live in boxes

23:54you live in what

23:59oh we didn't save the day at all did we

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