The Chrisleys Back to Reality - S01 Ep05 - Full HD
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Seeing them say goodbye was really hard.
00:08That was one of the worst days of my life, for sure.
00:11I'll never forget him opening the door,
00:14and just watching him walk away.
00:16That was... that was really tough.
00:20I went to go visit my mom to break the news to her
00:24that I'm gonna be proposing to Jody.
00:26My mom doesn't want me to rush anything,
00:28but, I mean, it's been over two years,
00:30so I don't feel like I'm rushing anything.
00:32I heard from someone that Chrisley was getting pardoned.
00:36Of course I hope the pardon happens,
00:38but I try to push it out, like, hearing about it,
00:41so I don't set myself up for disappointment
00:43if it doesn't happen.
00:44It's gonna be fine, bud.
00:46See you and me. Always has been.
00:48This call is from...
00:58Todd Chrisley.
01:00This call will be recorded and subject to monitoring at any time.
01:04You talked a lot about God showing you your higher purpose.
01:08You know, surrendering, trusting his timing.
01:11When you're down, it's easy for you to believe
01:14that you're the only one in the world
01:15that's experiencing what you're experiencing,
01:18and you lose hope.
01:20I said, Romans 15, 13, clearly said that, you know,
01:23may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace
01:27as you trust in him,
01:28so that you may overflow with hope
01:30by the power of the Holy Spirit.
01:32I have turned it all over to God.
01:35I said, in your time,
01:36you will reunite me with my wife and my children.
01:39So what's going on today?
01:49What's happening today in your family?
01:54My mom and my father are coming home.
02:00I guess, definitely.
02:04You seem excited today.
02:06Not at all.
02:10Are you excited about maybe seeing your parents?
02:12Yeah.
02:14I guess.
02:15When's the last time you started out?
02:18Like, a month or two ago.
02:21Well, it's been a while, right?
02:22Yeah.
02:26Have you thought about, like, what it would be like
02:27if your mom and dad came home,
02:28and what that would be like for you?
02:31Uh-huh.
02:32What do you think that's going to be like?
02:34It's when I feel weird at first tickets.
02:39Do you think that's going to happen?
02:40I don't know.
02:43How do you know?
02:44Because they said before, and it didn't happen.
02:47When did this happen before?
02:50Like, a year ago.
02:52Breaking news.
02:53A federal appeals court has vacated
02:55former reality TV star Julie Chrisley's
02:57seven-year prison sentence.
02:59In a 54-page ruling,
03:01the court says the trial judge
03:02mistakenly calculated Julie's sentence
03:05by holding her accountable
03:06for the entire bank fraud scheme.
03:09We got the opinion back on the appeal.
03:12Didn't necessarily go as we had hoped,
03:14but we do have a little win.
03:16We vacate Julie's sentence
03:18and remand solely for the district court
03:20to re-sentence her accordingly.
03:22In the same ruling,
03:23it upheld her husband Todd's 12-year sentence.
03:25Please just be prayerful,
03:27and I have some other ideas up my sleeve
03:30to get Dad home.
03:33Once Mom and Dad were convicted
03:35and went to prison,
03:36we know that we had multiple different grounds
03:39to file an appeal.
03:41We had always believed that Julie's involvement
03:43that they had alleged was pretty minimal.
03:45With Julie, one of the first things we appealed
03:47and focused on was the fact that her sentence
03:49wasn't really based on what she had done.
03:51It was based on what everybody had done.
03:53There wasn't sufficient evidence, we thought,
03:55to actually tie her
03:56to some of these claims and crimes.
03:58The judge essentially the first time said,
04:00I'm gonna just throw you in with everything
04:01that your husband did
04:02and sentence you according to that.
04:05We appealed that,
04:06and the appeals court agreed with us
04:07and said, no,
04:08you need to make an individual determination
04:10of her sort of role in these allegations
04:12and determine then what her sentence should be.
04:14And so the court did kick us down to do that again.
04:16When we went for our resentencing hearing,
04:20we fully believed that she was gonna get time served
04:23and come home.
04:24But boy, were we wrong.
04:28I was talking to Savannah,
04:30and she had just gotten word
04:32that I had won my appeal,
04:35which meant I had to be resentenced.
04:37I had to go back in front of the judge
04:39who had sentenced me originally to be resentenced.
04:42I had to go through transit.
04:45What that means is I am transported through the system
04:50by the marshals back to court.
04:53You're shackled, you're handcuffed, belly chained.
04:57There really is a con air.
04:59You are put on a con air flight.
05:02There's sometimes a few women up to maybe 10, 15 women.
05:05The whole rest of the plane are men.
05:07I was sent to Oklahoma to Grady County Jail,
05:13the most disgusting place I have ever been.
05:17So I was there for like six days.
05:20They come get you in the middle of the night and say,
05:23get packed up, you're leaving.
05:25You don't know where you're going.
05:26You're put back on a plane.
05:28I was then sent to Atlanta to Lovejoy.
05:31So I was transported from Lovejoy to the court
05:34on the day of resentencing.
05:36They did take the handcuffs off when I got into the courtroom,
05:40but I was shackled.
05:41The resentencing was probably maybe 30 minutes.
05:45We were there for the resentencing,
05:47and that was brutal.
05:49I mean, I didn't have much faith in our judge.
05:51I don't think that it was appropriate for her resentencing
05:55to go back to the same judge that messed up the first time.
05:58So I didn't have a lot of faith in it.
06:01Judge Ross reduced my restitution significantly,
06:04from 17 million to 4.5 million.
06:07But originally my sentence was 84 months
06:10and three years probation.
06:12She kept my sentence at 84 months
06:14and gave me five years probation.
06:16The judge proceeded to give her the same seven years in prison,
06:22and then added on two more years to supervise release.
06:26But I certainly did not expect for her to add time.
06:31Her guidelines are substantially reduced,
06:33and the court doesn't give her a day of credit.
06:35I think when you talk about public confidence in the courts,
06:38it's a concerning result.
06:39I think we're also, I think, incredibly disappointed
06:41by the personal attacks on family members.
06:43At this point, I had come out and been very outspoken
06:48on my political beliefs and opinions,
06:51the corruption of the case,
06:53as well as supporting the president.
06:55I had spoken at multiple political conferences,
06:58and this is when the judge looked at me in the courtroom,
07:01and it is in the transcripts to where she says,
07:04to the person who has these minor children in their custody,
07:07you need to be more concerned with the well-being of these children
07:10than you are spreading false information to the public.
07:12I didn't put these expectations on Savannah,
07:16that you have to do anything exactly the way that I do it.
07:19She had her own way of doing it,
07:21and it was absolutely perfect for what was needed at the time.
07:24I'm going to tell the truth and nothing but the truth,
07:27and I'm not going to hold back.
07:29Our facility should be a place for rehabilitation
07:32and not a place to foster abuse.
07:37The warden is threatened by the truth coming out.
07:39The judge is threatened by the truth coming out.
07:41The prosecutors threatened by the truth coming out.
07:44It's all a huge cover-up.
07:47And they are pulling the curtain back on me.
07:50The amount of children that come to me
07:54that don't have the resources that I have,
07:57that, please help me, please help me, please help my parents.
08:00That's what I deal with.
08:02And so I'm not just doing this for my parents.
08:05I'm doing it for the thousands of other individuals
08:08who are incarcerated.
08:09So that 30-minute court resentencing, I was gone for 52 days.
08:18So far, that was the worst part of being in custody.
08:22Because you've now transported me all over the country.
08:25I mean, I went from Lexington to Oklahoma, Oklahoma to Atlanta,
08:30Atlanta back to Oklahoma, Oklahoma back to Lexington.
08:36It's just crazy. It makes absolutely no sense.
08:40I was never so glad and so grateful to get back to Lexington, Kentucky.
08:44It was horrible.
08:46It is very disappointing how this has turned out.
08:49I'm going to fight through it.
08:50And I'm not going to take no for an answer.
08:59I never doubted for one minute that Savannah was doing everything
09:02she could possibly do to get us out of prison.
09:05And then there was rumblings around Easter that it was going to happen.
09:09And then it didn't.
09:16You and Chloe are obsessed with this place.
09:28Dude, I know.
09:31Hi, guys. Welcome to the swing.
09:32We're back.
09:33How are you guys?
09:34Yes.
09:35I want Diet Coke.
09:36Okay.
09:37With fresh lime.
09:39Can I do this small dragon model?
09:42Yeah, of course.
09:45I'm happy we came early today and not when the line is a gazillion miles long.
09:51This is what's going to bring you happiness today.
09:54Yeah.
09:55It is.
09:56One of the few things in life.
09:57This is it.
09:58This is one of them.
09:59The whole thing with all the pardon stuff, honestly, it's sad because I truly thought,
10:04all right, mom's at least coming home.
10:07And then last night when I didn't hear anything from anyone, I started reaching out to all my contacts
10:12that I have.
10:13And they said, Santa, I don't know why the prison would have told her that.
10:19We don't know where this is coming from.
10:21Like, so yeah, that was a letdown for me.
10:24The pardon.
10:25The pardon.
10:26He realized that, like, it's probably not happening this time.
10:30I mean, you got to get the most important and most powerful man in the world to sign off on something.
10:38I mean, it's pretty hard.
10:41I mean, obviously, I've got anger and resentment I've got to work on.
10:44But, like, we got that call from mom and, like, the anger that you have towards the whole situation.
10:52And you're just such a Debbie Downer about it.
10:55I don't think I'm a Debbie Downer.
10:57I think I'm realistic.
10:59Because everybody got their hopes up the first time with the resentencing.
11:02Well, and I know that.
11:03And I know a lot of this is self-protection for you.
11:07But you can't just give up because things fall apart.
11:10When things fall apart, it's because something better is going to come.
11:15No, my thing was always, look at when they're going to get out as their sentence.
11:20Look at that.
11:21Because if it happens before them, then it's a good surprise.
11:24If it doesn't, you knew when it was going to happen.
11:27For me to have the fight that I have, I have to look at it like they're coming home tomorrow.
11:34Mm-hmm.
11:36I'm going to continue to tell our story to anybody that'll listen and anyone that I believe can help.
11:41Because I feel like we're right on the cusp.
11:43I'm telling you, it's going to happen.
11:46I can't give you a timeframe, a date, or any of that.
11:50But I know we're close and it's going to happen.
11:53So, like, you've got to be positive.
11:55You can't let this make you angry.
11:57You can't carry it over into every other aspect of your life.
12:00No, no.
12:01And all I got to say is if my ass is ever in this position, you better fight for me.
12:06You better fight.
12:09At the end of the day, I know that if I want my parents home, it's going to happen because of me.
12:15I'm not going to sit back and wait for something to happen.
12:18I'm going to make it happen.
12:30Thank you so much.
12:32You got the Reuben, my favorite.
12:34Perfect.
12:35Looks great.
12:41I pray, man.
12:42You're good.
12:43I'm a God-fearing man.
12:44I pray every morning.
12:46Every morning?
12:47All day?
12:48I pray all night.
12:49I do too, man.
12:50Dude, my health is going to .
12:52I don't know if it's just everything I've done catching up to me.
12:56It's everything and the stress.
12:58Stress will kill you, man.
13:00It will kill you faster.
13:02It will age you faster.
13:04It ain't going to age me because I'll go under the knife.
13:08But I got a hemorrhoid the size of Alabama and a tax bill that could buy a lake house.
13:13So right now...
13:15You got to get past that, though.
13:18Dude.
13:19Look who it is.
13:20How you doing?
13:21Look, you just got skinny on me.
13:22Pleasure, pleasure, pleasure.
13:23How are you?
13:24How you doing?
13:25Good to see you.
13:26So good to see you, too.
13:27I am a support system for Savannah and Chase.
13:31I guess I would say I am the closest person to them that's not a blood relative.
13:35They come to me all the time because I'm a safe place.
13:38And that gives me an opportunity to give them some guidance or some counsel about what I think they should do based on that situation.
13:45A lot of times, they just need to vent.
13:48Okay, what's going on in the roofing business?
13:50Our goal is to obviously build it up and eventually sell it one day.
13:55Chase has to rise to the occasion.
13:56Yeah.
13:57Because it's...
13:58Well, he has the ability to do it.
13:59Absolutely.
14:00100%.
14:01You're doing this on your own without your family.
14:03Yeah.
14:04Everything else you have done has somehow been interwoven within the family thing.
14:07And I think it is good for you to kind of have your own ways.
14:11My own thing, yeah.
14:13I think I feel more pressure for myself than anybody to just be accomplished and accomplish a lot.
14:20Like, I think I've set the bar pretty high for myself with what I want to accomplish and what I want to be able to provide for my family.
14:28My dad def...
14:29I mean, my dad doesn't, like, put pressure on me, but he definitely is like,
14:32all right, like, what do you want to do?
14:34Figure out something.
14:36So, like, I feel a little bit of pressure from him, but more so pressure from myself.
14:41Chase is not the entrepreneur that Savannah is, although he aspires very much to do so.
14:48He definitely struggles a bit more.
14:51What I have learned through my own therapy and things, everything is about you.
14:56I'm my therapy.
14:58I ain't going to therapy.
15:00Everybody needs to go to therapy.
15:02Everybody does.
15:03It's just healthy.
15:04Okay, first off, I think you don't like the word therapy because it connotes some negative connotation.
15:08I want you to think about it this way.
15:10It's coaching, and everybody can do better with coaching because they teach you better ways to communicate.
15:15Because, you know, most of the issues that you get into with other people have resulted in some kind of bad interaction and communication.
15:22And we all can grow in that.
15:24I mean, I don't think we ever stop growing.
15:26So what are you...
15:27When we say the word therapy, you, like, have a visceral reaction to it.
15:30I'm just not doing it.
15:31But why?
15:32I don't want to.
15:33Why?
15:34I don't...
15:35I don't want to.
15:36Can you articulate it?
15:37I don't trust pe...
15:38I trust very few people.
15:40And I'm not going to sit and pay somebody to tell me that I'm up.
15:45I already know that.
15:47The way I look at it, Savannah's been going to therapy, like, once or twice a week for I don't know how long.
15:54Proof's in the pudding right there.
15:57That ain't working.
15:59I would encourage you to think about that because it's part of a healing process.
16:04And you're an open wound.
16:06I definitely trust Bill for advice.
16:09I know he would never, like, steer me in the wrong direction.
16:11I'm not one to sit and talk about my feelings.
16:14Like, I've never done that.
16:16And I just, like...
16:19It's just not a very easy thing for me to do.
16:22So it's just something that I've got to work on as a man.
16:25But I'll get there.
16:26It's just going to take some time.
16:28How do you feel about what the doctor said?
16:39I mean, I'm kind of scared.
16:41Within, like, the last year, I've lost a lot of weight.
16:45My body's just, like, rejecting food.
16:49She's sick or he's sick?
16:50He's sick.
16:51Done.
16:52You know where Chase is?
16:53Again?
16:54You okay?
16:55No, I'm not.
16:56I just literally can't keep anything down.
16:57Something's going on.
16:58It sucks.
16:59I mean, it's absolutely miserable.
17:09In regards to Chase's health, it's progressively gotten worse.
17:10He ultimately cannot keep a meal, even sometimes watered down.
17:22I've been trying to change his diet, but like the stubborn Chase that he is, he refuses to think that that will help.
17:41This one is.
17:42Hey, beautiful.
17:43How you doing, you baby?
17:56I'm glad you think I'm beautiful.
17:57One thing about it y'all always said when we'd come to y'alls' thing at school, they always said,
18:07well, they knew when we come, me and Papa, that we'd be the prettiest grandparents there.
18:14That's what they all always say.
18:16Well, you definitely are.
18:18We had a great time in Louisiana, Nanny.
18:21Well, I'm glad y'all did.
18:22And the food was phenomenal.
18:24Yeah.
18:25How many crawfish did y'all eat?
18:27Five pounds by myself.
18:29Oh, God.
18:30Extra spicy.
18:31It's about to say.
18:33Mm-hmm.
18:34Um, I also did something else, Nanny.
18:37What?
18:38Eat some snake?
18:39Are you me?
18:40You think I would do something?
18:42I would not do that.
18:43You eat everything else.
18:45Um, no.
18:49I asked Jody's dad if I could marry her.
18:52Oh, God.
18:54He said, I'm glad.
18:55Good riddance.
18:56Bye.
18:57Is that what he said, Jody?
19:00No, Nanny, he was...
19:01Of course not.
19:02I'm the favorite.
19:03No.
19:04It went well.
19:05He shook my hand, and he said he couldn't think of having...
19:10He couldn't...
19:11He said...
19:12What was his exact words?
19:13He said, I couldn't think of a better son-in-law.
19:15So what do you think about that?
19:17Well, I'm gonna have my hand before you.
19:19Mm-hmm.
19:20Well, you know, we can't choose who we want for our grandchildren or our children, their...
19:26their partner, or who they want to spend their life with.
19:31So you know what?
19:32I just say, everybody deserves to be miserable.
19:36So go do you.
19:37That's what I say.
19:39And how would you, uh, describe their relationship?
19:43Mm-hmm.
19:45Nanny.
19:46Huh?
19:47Do I...
19:49Do I have your blessing to marry Jody?
19:53If that's what your heart wants to do?
19:56Yes.
19:57Papa.
19:58Has nothing to do with the heart.
20:02Is this the woman that God's got for you?
20:05And if that's the case, yes.
20:07Is anyone ever really ready to be married?
20:10Uh, some would say, oh, yeah, because that's my soulmate.
20:14But I think right now, for Chase, it's trying to get everything established.
20:19He misses the old days there, and rightfully so, I think we all do.
20:23Uh, but yeah, I think ultimately, if things work out, and you never know, that they probably
20:29will get married.
20:30You know, they've got things, I want it my way.
20:32Oh, no, I want it my way.
20:34No, I want it my way.
20:35Pam and I went through that kind of thing until we reached this wonderful compromise
20:40where I got to have it my way.
20:43It works for us, but probably won't work for them.
20:50I went to the doctor.
20:53What did they say?
20:54They're going to run some tests to see if my gallbladder's working, and then run tests
20:59to see if my stomach's working.
21:02And if those are not working, if those are working, they're going to do a CT scan to see
21:08if I have a brain tumor.
21:10I don't know exactly what's going on with Chase.
21:13For about four years, Chase has had, um, stomach issues.
21:18He could eat, and he'd be in the bathroom, or he'd be throwing up.
21:21And that seems to have gotten much worse since I left.
21:25He's lost 15 pounds.
21:27I don't understand, because maybe I don't want to know if something's really wrong.
21:31And I said, do you know how stupid that sounds?
21:34I said, you find out what's wrong, and you get it fixed, and you go on with your life.
21:40We're going to get to the bottom of it, I assure you.
21:43I want to tell you something.
21:46You know your children have been with me your whole life.
21:49Huh?
21:50I forget this.
21:51Oh, he's done gone.
21:59Honey, you good?
22:00Yeah.
22:01I've been doing research now.
22:04They always tell me about Googling.
22:06That's my best friend.
22:08It says it could cause some anxiety, loss of sleep, and a lot of emotional things.
22:17But I tell him, what you're doing, Chase, of putting so much salt on food, and hot sauce,
22:24you don't burn the lining of your stomach out.
22:27That's what I tell him.
22:28Cause I can't eat all that hot sauce.
22:30And he likes hot food.
22:32But I said, you need to stop it.
22:34But, you know what?
22:37I can only tell him.
22:40That's for not taking care of yourself.
22:42I'm just telling you what they said.
22:44Okay.
22:45But if I do have a brain tumor...
22:48I'm gonna leave.
22:50You gotta take care of me.
22:52Well, I will.
22:53I'll take care of you forever.
22:55We got some things to do, me and you.
22:58I know.
23:00We can go up the road anytime at night.
23:04We ain't got a hundred and something miles to go.
23:07Honey, I just told you that I might have a brain tumor,
23:10and you're talking about going to the casino.
23:13Well, if you got a brain tumor, you shouldn't be cussing.
23:18What?
23:23You know, they always say who's your favorite.
23:26My favorite today is the one that needs me the most.
23:29Me and him's ride or die.
23:31I love you.
23:32Hey.
23:33Well, hi, Craig Craig.
23:34How are you doing?
23:35Well, I'm blessed, baby.
23:36I'm blessed every day.
23:37Every day.
23:38I'm able to get up.
23:40Mm-hmm.
23:41What you up to?
23:42Oh, nothing.
23:43Well, I haven't even got to chit-chat with you lately.
23:45You look so good.
23:47And your teeth.
23:48Oh, my God, they just shine.
23:50Still talking, a little blaze.
23:53Yeah.
23:54You know we're not dating.
23:56Huh?
23:57You know we're not dating.
23:58Well, I haven't even got to chit-chat with you lately.
24:02You look so good.
24:04And your teeth, oh, my God, they just shine.
24:09You still talking a little Blaze?
24:11Yeah.
24:12You know we're not dating.
24:14Huh?
24:14You know we're not dating.
24:16I don't care if she's the best friend in the world,
24:17but just because you're not dating now
24:19don't mean you're not going to.
24:21I know.
24:21Because I got to have her.
24:23Nanny Faye, sorry, but Blaze is just my friend from school.
24:29We just met through mutual friends and stayed friends.
24:33You start out being a friend.
24:35You don't start off being anything else.
24:37Exactly.
24:39But she's so sweet-ish.
24:41I know it.
24:42We'll see what happens.
24:43Well, I got to do a phone call.
24:45About what?
24:46About my business.
24:49Well, make you call.
24:50I'll be back.
24:51I'll be waiting.
24:51I'm not going nowhere.
24:54Love you.
24:55I love you.
24:56Hey, Nanny.
24:58Hey, girlfriend.
24:59I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
25:01You know I wouldn't do it if it wasn't important.
25:02I knew it.
25:03It's important.
25:05I ordered you some lunch.
25:06Well, thank you.
25:08You look cute.
25:10I try sometimes.
25:13Oh, this looks so good.
25:14Make your mac and cheese?
25:15Yes.
25:15I knew you'd like that.
25:18Where's Grayson?
25:19He's got a phone call.
25:21You know what, though?
25:22While he's gone, I mean, you need to come to Jesus a little bit.
25:27What do we have to have a come to Jesus on?
25:29Jody.
25:31And you hadn't even given her a chance.
25:33Nanny, don't even.
25:35Don't start.
25:35If she was good for, if she, nuh-uh.
25:38Listen, you're going to have to give her a chance.
25:41No, I don't.
25:42I don't have to give nobody a chance.
25:45Well, you do.
25:46He's already asked her father for her hand in marriage.
25:50Then that shows you how stupid he is.
25:54He doesn't even have his life together.
25:57He lives with his grandparents.
26:00So you're supposed to get married and live with your grandparents?
26:03Y'all, it's the dumbest.
26:07Well, it's okay.
26:08I've ever heard that we've got to give her a chance.
26:11We'll make a deal.
26:12You just hang out enough with it for the both of us.
26:15I don't even hang out with my own brother.
26:18Why not go hang out with her?
26:21I mean, I feel bad for her.
26:23I don't.
26:24Why do you feel bad for her?
26:25Well, I feel bad for anybody that's having a hard time.
26:28Why are you even encouraging him to propose to her?
26:32Everybody might not like who I married.
26:36But I loved him, and I married him.
26:39You know what?
26:40She's probably scared and nervous.
26:42Nanny, she moved here, and she has lived here for, what, a year?
26:47And has no job.
26:49I understand that, too.
26:51But, you know, she had a great job there in New Orleans.
26:54And when she got tied up with Chase, Jody gave up her job and moved to Nashville.
27:00I worked in the OR as the doctor's assistant in laser tech, and I was working weekends and
27:07on call all the time, and, you know, I only get so much PTO.
27:11We decided to give up the long distance and move here, mainly because it was getting pretty
27:19expensive, the flights, and we wanted to be near each other and around each other all the time.
27:25You know what?
27:26Give her some time.
27:27She's in love.
27:29What are y'all talking about?
27:30Talking about Chase.
27:31Apparently, he's proposing to that girl.
27:34That's the dumbest decision he's ever made.
27:37He needs to go and get his life on the right track and be in a healthy and whole place with
27:43himself before he even thinks about getting married to this girl.
27:49At the end of the day, he's going to do what he wants to do, and there's nothing anybody
27:53can do to stop it.
27:54I think it's an awful idea, and you're rushing into it.
27:59I mean, you propose to somebody, but you live in an apartment with your grandparents,
28:04and it makes you question her also.
28:07If you're okay with a man not trying to better himself, not trying to better a life for both
28:14of you, then that's an issue.
28:18And you're also not working on top of it?
28:23That's just the blind leading the blind.
28:26Then what's going to happen is she's going to end up pregnant, and that's why there's
28:30so many screwed up people in this world.
28:33It's because parents bring children into this world when they're not even whole themselves.
28:39Well, I know, but everybody can't be perfect.
28:41I mean, I know he needs...
28:42You don't need to encourage this.
28:45I'm going to give Joanie the benefit of the doubt.
28:47We've got to give her a chance.
28:50If Chase decides to marry her, you know we're going to have to go to the wedding.
28:55Nanny, no.
28:56I don't have to go.
28:57No, we are.
28:57I'm not going.
28:58Yeah, you're going.
28:59No, I'm not.
29:00You are.
29:00Then if you want me to go, then they'll say, and does anyone object?
29:05I'd say I do.
29:06Well, I'll tie your arm down.
29:09I think Chase just has a hard time with perception versus reality.
29:16He wants everyone to think one thing when the reality of it is totally opposite.
29:22The only responsibility Chase has is himself.
29:25He's responsible for one life and one life only.
29:28I'm responsible for me, Chloe, Grayson, Nanny Faye, Mom, and Dad.
29:35And I'm still out here hustling every day and trying to be the best that I can be.
29:41I would have no problem in supporting Chase.
29:43I want him to be successful.
29:45I want him to be happy.
29:46But when what you're doing is not providing those results, then I'm sorry.
29:54I'm not going to support the decisions that you're choosing.
29:57Ready?
30:06One, two, three.
30:10Of course, as a mother, it hurts me to think that everyone's not banding together.
30:16If Chase visits me, everything that's going wrong is Savannah's fault.
30:22If Savannah visits me, everything that's going wrong is Chase's fault.
30:25I have been that peacekeeper.
30:27And I think now that I'm not there, there's no one else that has stepped into that role.
30:32I've had a lot of, like, really traumatic stuff happen.
30:39Not only stuff with my parents, but other stuff, too.
30:41And I don't think I ever did, like, face it.
30:45I kind of just buried it and just didn't talk about it.
30:50I kind of felt like if I didn't talk about it, then it didn't exist.
30:53The older I get, I'm coming to realize that all of those things have affected me.
31:07And the way I've behaved and the way I've responded to things and the way I've acted in relationships.
31:14My everyday life is really hard.
31:18And, I mean, I definitely struggle in my own ways.
31:21So, I've been going to therapy to help me when it comes to how I'm dealing with my emotions.
31:31How are you?
31:33So nice to meet you.
31:34Nice to meet you.
31:35It's a pleasure.
31:36It's a pleasure to meet you.
31:37Come on in here.
31:38I definitely trust Bill for advice.
31:39I know he would never, like, steer me in the wrong direction.
31:42So, I finally caved in and went to therapy.
31:45So, um, is this your first time to do anything like this?
31:49I did, like, a therapy session one time, but it was, like, with my parents' therapist.
31:55I see.
31:56Yeah, it did not go well.
31:57It did not go well.
31:59Okay.
32:00So, we just want to take it slow.
32:02Could you share with me just a little bit about you and kind of what life's been like for you for the last little bit now?
32:09Um, life has been kind of a s*** show.
32:15Kind of a s*** show, yeah.
32:16Um, my parents are currently, like, locked up.
32:20Uh-huh.
32:21Um, we work together and obviously we were, I mean, my family's always been very close.
32:28And I kind of feel like I, like, ever since, like, we stopped work, I'm trying to finally figure out, like, what my purpose is.
32:34Because, I don't know, I don't want to, like, find my purpose in, like, my family, but it's just I kind of don't know what to do.
32:42I don't know what to do.
32:43Or how to feel.
32:45Yeah.
32:45Like, right now the only thing I feel is, like, anger.
32:47What do you perceive is going on around you when these moments of anger really kind of get stirred up?
32:55I think, like, whenever, like, things aren't necessarily going in the right direction or, like, I'm not getting along with my sister or something like that.
33:08Like, those tend to be, like, triggering things that, like, make me snap.
33:12Oh, so kind of like overdrive.
33:13Yeah, I'm just like, why can't we not f***ing get it together?
33:14Yeah, of course.
33:15Why can't we get it together?
33:16Yeah.
33:16Yeah.
33:18I think I'm in my angry phase right now.
33:21And when I get angry, what does Savannah do?
33:26It just depends on who the person is.
33:29How I deal with anger with Chase is different than how I would deal with anger with...
33:33I mean, I would say it's different, but I guess it's not because I just shut people out.
33:37I shut people out, yeah.
33:39I'm a master at putting a smile on my face.
33:41I can be sobbing my eyes out, and then two minutes later I'm going to walk out the front door with a smile on my face.
33:45Of course.
33:46You never know.
33:46It takes a lot for me to shut off.
33:50Like, it takes a lot, but then when I shut off, it's like we're to the point of no return.
33:57That's where I feel like I'm at with Chase, and it sucks.
34:00But it's like you can only put up with the same shit so many times.
34:04Anger's a great motivator, though, because it motivates us to take action.
34:12Yeah.
34:13That make sense?
34:14Yeah.
34:15What if my anger is a sense of, I want justice for my family, but I might have to start with my brother?
34:22And what if my anger is maybe moving me toward something deeper with him than maybe I think he has capacity for?
34:31I want to be close to her.
34:33I want to be close to her.
34:34I want to have, like, a good, solid relationship with her.
34:37What do you think are the roadblocks that prevent that?
34:40I think that she feels like she got dealt a really f***ing hand, which she did.
34:44That's a fair feeling, but she wants to have control over my life.
34:49She's taking care of my younger siblings, so she's, like, got control over their life,
34:55and I think that she's just afraid of something else happening.
34:59I don't know, maybe me f***ing up and doing something.
35:02I see.
35:03Whenever I drink, I've gotten in a little bit of trouble.
35:06Okay.
35:07Is that something that you lean on a little more than you should?
35:10I definitely have since they went away.
35:13Yeah, of course.
35:13Yeah, but I haven't drank in, like, a month, so...
35:17Good for you.
35:18Yeah.
35:19That's wonderful.
35:19I just can't do it.
35:21Yeah, because if I have some, I have...
35:24There's no cutoff.
35:25There's no cutoff, yeah.
35:26When there are substances involved, it's, like, a waste of time.
35:33Okay.
35:34Can I challenge you on something?
35:35Yeah.
35:36Addiction is driven by disconnection.
35:39What if part of the family healing is bringing him back into a place of connection?
35:46It's hard having Chloe and Grayson.
35:50Like, I can't have him around them.
35:53That's what I'm not willing to risk.
35:55That makes complete sense.
35:56So what if we're not trying to acclimate back into the whole family system right now?
36:01And what if it's just getting him reconnected with you and to see where that might go?
36:06Well, I don't know.
36:36For me to see the future, that's a big statement.
36:42Yeah.
36:43I don't know.
36:43I feel like I've kind of just hit the pause button on everything until they get back.
36:51I've never put myself in a position to really succeed long-term and be at peace with myself
37:00and be comfortable in my own skin because I've always tried to do for everyone else and be
37:09whoever they needed me to be at that time.
37:12So I think I need to stop doing that and...
37:17Choose self.
37:18Yeah.
37:19Well, that's why I'm here.
37:20Taking a step to taking better care of yourself.
37:23Yeah.
37:24I've just gotten to a point since I've stopped drinking and stopped partying.
37:27Like, I've got to do everything I can do to protect my own mental health.
37:30So I don't want to argue with Savannah and I don't want to go back and forth with Savannah.
37:38I just think it's better for both of us right now until she gets to a place where she wants
37:42to have a productive, like a healthy, productive relationship with me and, like, let's just move
37:47forward and, like, be there for each other and love each other.
37:51If it's better, then nothing good's going to come from it.
38:00I will take my kids and their downside and their upside, even when they have a bump in
38:06the road, even if they fight.
38:07At the end of the day, they're my children and I love them equally.
38:10And yes, they will all be at my table.
38:12I don't care if they are fighting.
38:13I don't care if they want to...
38:15Whatever.
38:15They're going to be at the table.
38:16As hard as I am, there is some fear in me that something's going to happen to Chase.
38:24And it's very valid.
38:25I mean, just in the way that he looks, Chase is not Chase.
38:31Like, it's literally like a blank shell.
38:34You can tell it in all the weight that he's lost and the rings around his eyes.
38:39And he's not who I know is my brother.
38:46Oh, my God.
38:49I'm literally the funniest person I've ever had.
38:52Oh, my God.
38:54Like, I feel like I've already buried my brother.
39:03So I'm in this place now.
39:05I've put enough distance between me and him.
39:08Mm-hmm.
39:09So that if something does happen, at least it can be feel more manageable.
39:12Yeah.
39:12Like, I feel like it's just like a self-protection.
39:15Yeah, of course it is.
39:18Hmm.
39:19And so it's hard for you to then trust, is he even available to do this relationship?
39:25Yeah.
39:27Okay.
39:27At the end of the day, Chase hasn't done anything beyond repair.
39:32Of course.
39:36Like, I want a relationship with him.
39:38I want him to thrive.
39:40And I want...
39:42But also, there's a part of me that is so afraid that he's going to die.
39:46I literally, like, I don't even want to try to have a relationship with him.
39:53Oh, I see.
39:54Because if something were to happen to him, it's like, now I'm closed off enough to where,
40:02I mean, I would be devastated.
40:04Of course.
40:04But I feel like I've been just trying to grieve the loss of him, little by little, so that
40:12when it happens, it's not this big bang.
40:17Hmm.
40:18I've had to learn how to protect myself.
40:21When you go through traumatic experiences, it's like fight or flight mode.
40:25And your body just reacts in whatever way it knows how to keep you safe.
40:29And I think that's where I'm reverting back to with Chase, is just knowing that, number
40:35one, both my parents are in prison.
40:37Like, I have been wanting to try and help him and save him so that I didn't have to make
40:42the call to my parents that their son has died.
40:46My grandparents lost a son, and my mom lost a brother.
40:52And it's heartbreaking.
40:53I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself to where, when that time does come,
41:01that I step in, and I'm going to have to care for my parents, because they'll never
41:08be the same.
41:09So, it's the only way I know how to protect myself, which is just by letting Chase know
41:16that what he's doing is wrong, and it's going to lead to a terrible end game.
41:23Chase and Savannah love each other dearly.
41:29They would give their life for each other.
41:31But they just don't see eye to eye on a lot of things.
41:34This has been a very rough two and a half years.
41:37Todd and Julie have always been there to lead, guide, and direct.
41:41And when they went away, all that went away.
41:44So, I hope and pray that once Julie and Todd get home, we'll see a big difference.
41:51I live every day in the hopes that I'm going to get home sooner than I think.
41:56I live every day with the hopes that I will be reunited with my husband, and my kids, and
42:02my parents, and my mother-in-law.
42:16My mama taught me to pray.
42:18The power of prayer, that's where miracles happen.
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