Welcome, These Pleasant Days! by Michael Robson

Oldtuberadio

Saturday-Night Theatre: Welcome, These Pleasant Days! Sat 30th Jan 1982, 20:30 on BBC Radio 4 FM By Michael Robson With Elizabeth Proud as Elaine Birmingham and Nigel Anthony as Forgan  A vast business empire collapses overnight. To the closely involved, the results are tragic. To the uninvolved, the whole affair seems farcical. To those on that uneasy ground between involvement and observation the consequences are erratic and disturbing. Director: Shaun MacLoughlin BBC Bristol  Forgan: Nigel Anthony Dymoke: Ian Hogg Wilfred Birmingham: Peter Woodthorpe Angela Birmingham: Constance Chapman Daphne Birmingham: Jo Anderson Denis Ludlam: John Westbrook Kate Ludlam: Peggy Ann Wood Blazer Povey: Norman Bowler Susan: Angela Phillips Richard: Cornelius Garrett   Do you enjoy the variety on Oldtuberadio? Like, Share and Subscribe to be notified of our new shows #radio #crime #thriller #drama To Support this channel please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/oldtuberadio https://ko-fi.com/oldtuberadio98 https://www.patreon.com/oldtuberadio https://locals.com/Oldtuberadio

Transcript

00:00:00Now on Radio 4, Saturday Night Theatre.

00:00:10People like us sit on the sidelines

00:00:12and we watch the varying fortunes of the players.

00:00:17Then something happens to connect us with the players.

00:00:21A ball within our reach, a smile across the grass

00:00:24and we're involved.

00:00:26And there's no escaping that involvement.

00:00:28And we're dragged in on the game, for better or worse.

00:00:35Welcome These Pleasant Days by Michael Robson

00:00:38with Nigel Antony as Forgan, Ian Hogg as Dimmock

00:00:42and Elizabeth Proud as Elaine.

00:00:47You've done wonders with the place since I was last here.

00:00:51It really is. It's very attractive.

00:00:54It suits me very well.

00:00:55Well, when I'm eventually called on to retire,

00:00:58I shall make no burns about settling down here permanently.

00:01:01But retirement's a long way off, surely, in your line of work.

00:01:05Well, 20 years, perhaps, but...

00:01:07Isn't there something missing?

00:01:10From where?

00:01:11The dining room table.

00:01:13The silver.

00:01:15Ah, yes, silver.

00:01:17It's at Oxford.

00:01:18No, it was stolen from here.

00:01:20Seven pieces in all.

00:01:22Stolen?

00:01:24I realise the distress the child must have caused you, Dr. Forgan,

00:01:27and I'm extremely sorry.

00:01:29But if I can only begin to explain the circumstances

00:01:32that have brought her to this attitude of mine,

00:01:34I'm certain you'll find it in your heart to forgive her.

00:01:38Stolen?

00:01:39By a girl.

00:01:40A young woman called Elaine Birmingham.

00:01:44Elaine Birmingham?

00:01:46No.

00:01:47Means nothing to me.

00:01:48But you said it as though it should.

00:01:51What happened to her?

00:01:53Was she thrown into the slammer?

00:01:55And what I think you'd better do is to pour us both drinks

00:01:57and I'll tell you the story.

00:01:58In however fragmentary a fashion,

00:02:01of Elaine Birmingham and her parents, Angela and Wilford.

00:02:34Aye, aye, aye.

00:02:36There'll always be those who's black-faking.

00:02:38There'll always be those who think they know best.

00:02:42But, lads, we, we're in the van of progress.

00:02:46We know best.

00:02:48We've come through.

00:02:51In the face of the mandarins of Whitehall,

00:02:54we've established today, in this town of ours,

00:02:57a new and vigorous industry

00:03:00that will revolutionise family living

00:03:03throughout this nation.

00:03:07Today, when the Lord Mayor cooks the ribbon,

00:03:13he'll be opening the biggest,

00:03:15brightest industrial complex

00:03:17in the north of England.

00:03:20A complex, lads,

00:03:23devoted to a better world for the working masses.

00:03:27The world in which the man of the house

00:03:32is toil done for the day

00:03:35can open his front door

00:03:37and set foot

00:03:38not on linoleum,

00:03:42not on black brick,

00:03:45not on slabs of concrete,

00:03:48but on the comfort of broad rooms.

00:03:55Be Birmingham!

00:03:56Oh, yeah!

00:04:05Oh, come on!

00:04:06This is an insane parody!

00:04:08Not to five million homes in Britain!

00:04:11Neville, to the dram,

00:04:13the dark and the neglected,

00:04:15Wilfred Birmingham delivered a riot of primary colours.

00:04:18I once saw the results

00:04:19in a housing estate in Belpath.

00:04:21Bored looms by Birmingham

00:04:23irradiated their lives.

00:04:25Now, I was told on good authority

00:04:26that vandalism had virtually disappeared

00:04:28from the estate

00:04:28following the advent of Wilfred's rainbow carpeting.

00:04:32And it must have been around then

00:04:34that the girl was born.

00:04:37So, it's a lass.

00:04:40Are you disappointed, Wilfred?

00:04:43Yeah, girl.

00:04:44Whatever you do's all right with me.

00:04:47Plenty of time for a sun and herb

00:04:48and you've got your health and strength

00:04:50back after this young'un.

00:04:51Having babies really pulled me down.

00:04:53I feel that poorly.

00:04:55A pint of milk,

00:04:55Stoutedale,

00:04:56put the roses back in your cheeks,

00:04:57Andrew,

00:04:58you'll be right as rain in no doubt.

00:05:01Any road.

00:05:02What are we going to call it?

00:05:04It?

00:05:04The lass.

00:05:07Have a fancy for Geraldine, myself.

00:05:10Geraldine?

00:05:10Ah, after me gran.

00:05:12Who had the baby, Wilfred?

00:05:14Oh, it's all new suggestion, lad.

00:05:16Worth thinking of her.

00:05:18There's no need to think nothing of

00:05:20when my mind's made up.

00:05:21Oh, wow.

00:05:22I shall call her Elaine.

00:05:24Just like that.

00:05:25Elaine?

00:05:27Why Elaine, Wilfred?

00:05:29Because it's a name you can't shorten.

00:05:32You what?

00:05:32You get Wilf,

00:05:34I get Ange.

00:05:35I can't abide Ange

00:05:37and you hate Wilf,

00:05:37but what do we get?

00:05:39Wilf and Ange.

00:05:41Well, this time it's going to be different.

00:05:42That baby gets Elaine.

00:05:44And nothing else, sir,

00:05:46I'll know the reason why.

00:05:48It could get Ellie.

00:05:50If anyone dares call that lass Ellie,

00:05:52they'll never darken my daughter again.

00:05:54So think on.

00:05:55I was right.

00:06:01This is parody.

00:06:03No one has actually talked like that in our lifetime.

00:06:06It's pure invention on your part.

00:06:07Well, how on earth can you know how people talk in Halifax

00:06:10when the furthest north you've been is Gerard's Cross?

00:06:12Anyway, it amuses me to assume

00:06:14that's how Wilfred and Angela Birmingham

00:06:16conducted themselves at critical moments.

00:06:17All right, all right.

00:06:19But it's the missing silver I'm interested in.

00:06:21When do we get to that?

00:06:22Ah, by way of one Dennis Ludlam,

00:06:25a nearish neighbour of mine.

00:06:26He was the first visitor I ever had here.

00:06:29That was an age ago.

00:06:31Oh, yes.

00:06:32The purple orcuses have since put by

00:06:34the coronals of that forgotten server.

00:06:36What?

00:06:37It was mid-August and almost impossibly hot.

00:06:41The grass had grown jungle high

00:06:43and I was trying to cut it back with a sickle.

00:06:45I was aching and sweaty and enjoying it all immensely

00:06:48because it made such a change from my rooms in college.

00:06:51Anyway, above the grass and over the hedge

00:06:53I caught sight of an energetic cyclist

00:06:55fairly racing up the hill towards me.

00:06:58The man was very brown, short and stocky.

00:07:01He wore a snug beret and modish little breeches and stockings.

00:07:05Clearly a cycling adept.

00:07:07Dr. Fulgham?

00:07:08Yes?

00:07:09Ah, good afternoon to you.

00:07:12My name's Ludlam.

00:07:15Lived down the road there.

00:07:16Heard you just moved in

00:07:17and wondered if there was anything we could do.

00:07:19Look, why don't you come inside?

00:07:22Come into the kitchen.

00:07:23It's the coolest place at the moment

00:07:24and I could do with a beer.

00:07:26I imagine you could too.

00:07:29Going to be a weekender or a permanency?

00:07:33Well, to be truthful, neither.

00:07:34I teach at Oxford

00:07:36and that gives me rather more than half the year

00:07:38to live where I like

00:07:39and I shall spend the bulk of it here.

00:07:41Good.

00:07:42And you couldn't have picked a more beautiful part of England?

00:07:44Oh.

00:07:45Indeed not.

00:07:47You lived here long yourself?

00:07:48All my life and my father before me.

00:07:50But, er, you aren't a farmer.

00:07:53Oh, no, no.

00:07:54Solicitor.

00:07:55Family business in Shaftesbury.

00:07:56Three miles away.

00:07:57No distance.

00:07:58Except in snow.

00:07:59I cycle there every day.

00:08:01And back, of course.

00:08:02Of course.

00:08:02You're the second newcomer to the area in a week.

00:08:06Oh, I've never known such excitement.

00:08:08Oh, really?

00:08:08Yes.

00:08:09The Birminghams have bought a massive place near Semley.

00:08:12Semley Grange, it used to be called.

00:08:14And will be again, I imagine, once they've settled in.

00:08:17The Birminghams?

00:08:18The carpet people.

00:08:20Broad looms by Birmingham.

00:08:21Those Birminghams.

00:08:22Ah.

00:08:24Weekenders or permanences?

00:08:25Oh, more the latter than the former, I should guess.

00:08:27At least, on the distal side, Mrs. Birmingham enjoys poor health.

00:08:33And it appears to be her belief that she can recruit better in Wiltshire than in central London.

00:08:38Not an assumption I'd quarrel with.

00:08:40Mrs. Birmingham must be very forthcoming, given they've only been here in a matter of days.

00:08:44Informative.

00:08:45Well, do you see, I have an inside ear, as it were.

00:08:48The Birmingham daughter, Elaine, was a particular school chum of my daughter, Nermay.

00:08:52Ah.

00:08:52Over the past two years, Elaine spent several holidays with us.

00:08:56And at Easter, we had a visit from our father.

00:09:01You've been very good to our, Elaine, and I'm really grateful to you both.

00:09:05We enjoy having her here, Mr. Birmingham.

00:09:06She's a sweet girl, and she's excellent company for Nermay.

00:09:09They get on so well together, and they like the same things.

00:09:12Exactly.

00:09:13Ponies.

00:09:15Pony mad the fur of them.

00:09:16I couldn't be more delighted.

00:09:19And now I've had a chance to see for myself what it's like round here, and I've made my mind up.

00:09:24I shall buy.

00:09:25Hmm.

00:09:25I've talked it over with Mrs. Birmingham, and I agreed.

00:09:28We'll buy you.

00:09:29So, what would you advise?

00:09:32What I'm after is a short list of property that's already been vetted, so I can come up and see a number of likely places over one weekend.

00:09:40You've lived here all your life, Mr. Ludlam, and you must know the snags and advantages of anything that's up to much.

00:09:46I'd like your help, and I'll see you not out of pocket on account of it.

00:09:50Oh, I wish I'd be glad to help, but there could be no question of money.

00:09:54How something takes time, Mr. Ludlam, and in my book, time is money.

00:09:59Of course, we'll help you, Mr. Birmingham.

00:10:01But what kind of property did you have in mind?

00:10:04Something substantial, with land, of course, and stabling.

00:10:10A stabling.

00:10:11Oh, yes, quite.

00:10:12And how much land were you thinking of?

00:10:14Oh, a hundred acres, thereabouts.

00:10:17That's what he wanted, and that's what he got.

00:10:20An idea at Easter, a reality by August.

00:10:23Mr. Birmingham doesn't let the grass grow under his feet.

00:10:26Well, he does sound, uh, affordably energetic.

00:10:29But most agreeable.

00:10:30Oh, I've no doubt that the local gentry will patronise him for all their worth,

00:10:34laugh at him behind his back, and goad him cap in hand for donations to every facetious charity under the sun.

00:10:39But he's a far better man than most of them.

00:10:42Well, I can see he's greatly impressed, you.

00:10:43Hmm?

00:10:44Oh, well, at any rate, he's got the mansion he wanted.

00:10:48And my daughter and his are in the saddle every day exploring his domain.

00:10:53Do you know I've quite forgotten what I came here for?

00:10:56Sizing up the newcomer, and seeing if there's anything you can do?

00:10:59Oh, yes, of course.

00:11:01Look here.

00:11:02My wife's made a list of the principal tradesmen, their addresses, telephone numbers, reliability or otherwise.

00:11:08I think it's pretty thorough.

00:11:10This is very thoughtful of you both, thank you.

00:11:11Well, it may be of some use.

00:11:15I, uh, I'd better be going, I suppose.

00:11:19Oh, incidentally, Dr. Forgan, do you play billiards?

00:11:25Billiards?

00:11:26Billiards, I promise you.

00:11:28It appears that the one thing left to the Ludlams when the cyclist's raffish and intemperate old grandfather died

00:11:34was a full-sized billiard table, and the solicitor can't bear the part with it.

00:11:38Although Mrs. Ludlams constantly complains of its vastness and unsuitability in a modest dowerhouse.

00:11:43Well, it's an interesting little news item.

00:11:46But what bearing does it have on the theft of your silver?

00:11:49It has every bearing.

00:11:50Because that grandiose billiard table became my entree to the Ludlams household,

00:11:55and hence to Elaine Birmingham.

00:11:58Ah, the plot thickens.

00:12:00About a fortnight after his first visit here, Dennis Ludlams cycled over from the dowerhouse with an invitation to dinner.

00:12:07Nothing formal, you understand?

00:12:08A modest collation with perhaps a game of billiards afterwards.

00:12:13Mr. Forgan, your glass is empty.

00:12:15Dennis, would you...

00:12:15Oh, my dear chap, do forgive me.

00:12:18Half and half, isn't it?

00:12:21You have an enchanting house, Mrs. Ludlams?

00:12:23Well, we're very fond of it, of course.

00:12:24Yes, although I'm afraid it has grown rather shabby.

00:12:27We had to make a choice quite early on as to whether to neglect the children's education and completely refurnish the house,

00:12:33or do our best for the young ones and let the house go hang.

00:12:36Children? I hadn't realised there was more than one.

00:12:39I've heard about your daughter.

00:12:40Oh, Naomi's the baby of the family.

00:12:43Victor's at the university, and Ed was with his regiment in Southern Arabia.

00:12:47Ah, yes. I can quite see.

00:12:49Three is a lot to educate, if you do it the hard way.

00:12:51Ah, thank you.

00:12:53But it's worth it in the end, don't you think?

00:12:55Private education prepares them so much better for life, doesn't it?

00:12:59You only have to look at Elaine Birmingham to meet her, the archetypal public schoolgirl.

00:13:04Point, good company, and with such pretty manners, quite capable of holding up her head in any society.

00:13:11Yes, if you were to meet her father...

00:13:12There's nothing wrong with Wilfred Birmingham, Kate. He's a fine man.

00:13:16Oh, surely. Worth his weight in gold.

00:13:18Sort of, yes.

00:13:19Exactly.

00:13:19And he had the... the nouse to realise that if Elaine were fully to benefit from his wealth,

00:13:25some of it could best be spent on securing for her a good education.

00:13:30I've no doubt at all that in a few years' time, with her looks and poise and money,

00:13:35she'll be able to make a brilliant marriage.

00:13:37Hello.

00:13:38Hello.

00:13:38And there she is.

00:13:43Elaine, we're in here.

00:13:45Oh, hello.

00:13:46Come in, my dear, and meet another new neighbour.

00:13:49Elaine, this is Dr. Fogham, who teaches at the university.

00:13:52And this is Elaine Birmingham, Dr. Fogham.

00:13:54How you doing?

00:13:55Naomi, not with you.

00:13:56Actually, no.

00:13:57She and Daddy are still trying to get the fountain to work.

00:14:00They've been at it all day and they're absolutely filthy.

00:14:02Oh, not too filthy, I hope.

00:14:04Anyway, Naomi says she's forgotten her Sunday knickers and her Portsmouth dress.

00:14:08Do you know what she's talking about?

00:14:09You haven't walked all the way from the Grange because Naomi's been forgetful.

00:14:13No, Mya's drove me over.

00:14:15I say, do you think I could beg a drink of something?

00:14:17I'm really dry and it's been so hot and dusty.

00:14:19Of course, darling.

00:14:20What would you like?

00:14:21Actually, I'd love a shandy.

00:14:23Um...

00:14:23Of course you shall have a shandy.

00:14:25I'll go and make it up.

00:14:26Will you forgive us, Dr. Fogham?

00:14:27Why, Kate sorts out Naomi's totally deficient.

00:14:30She won't be lost.

00:14:31Are you liking it here?

00:14:36It's super.

00:14:38I mean, our house is rather weird.

00:14:40Nothing as nice as this.

00:14:41But it's tons bigger.

00:14:43But the grounds are super.

00:14:46Do you know it?

00:14:46The Grange at Semley?

00:14:47No, I don't.

00:14:48This is the first time for a fortnight that I've set food outside my cottage.

00:14:52Ah.

00:14:54One big fault about the Grange, it isn't really old enough to have a ghost.

00:14:58Is your cottage haunted, Dr. Morgan?

00:15:00I don't believe it is, Miss Sheffield.

00:15:04Ah, Birmingham, actually.

00:15:06Fogham, actually.

00:15:08Fogham, I'm sorry.

00:15:10Isn't that an unusual name?

00:15:12Not in Ireland.

00:15:13Gosh, are you harry?

00:15:15She don't sound it.

00:15:16And you don't sound Yorkshire.

00:15:19I think I'll have to be rather careful what I say to you in the future.

00:15:22Oh, I'd rather be mad.

00:15:23I can always correct you.

00:15:25Of course.

00:15:26You teach at Oxford.

00:15:28Yes.

00:15:28What do you teach?

00:15:30Ancient Greek.

00:15:32Wow.

00:15:33Do you enjoy it?

00:15:34Most of the time.

00:15:35I don't suppose I shall ever learn Greek.

00:15:38Latin's quite enough for me, and I shall drop that as soon as I can.

00:15:41Well, that should never worry you.

00:15:42A world full of Greek scholars would be very heavy going.

00:15:45I suppose it would, yes.

00:15:47You're shanty, young lady.

00:15:49It looks super.

00:15:52So, that was your first encounter with her.

00:15:54It was.

00:15:56By no means noteworthy in itself, and significant only in that it was the beginning of our somewhat fugitive relationship.

00:16:02Was she likeable?

00:16:04Well, it was disappointing to reveal that she made virtually no impression on me at all that first time.

00:16:10A pretty child with a pleasant voice and dirty denims.

00:16:13A lot of self-confidence.

00:16:16That was that.

00:16:17She was, at that time, an irrelevance to my life.

00:16:19So, how did she come to pinch your silver?

00:16:22Now, to understand that, you have to understand the nature of country society.

00:16:25Oh, the Christmas of that year, I was having lunch in the local, and I fell in with one Nicholas mid-winter.

00:16:32I don't believe it.

00:16:34An Anglo-Arab stud near here.

00:16:37He knew all about me, of course, and discovered that I enjoyed riding.

00:16:40The upshot was that he had a mare who needed exercising, and I was free to take her out whenever I wished.

00:16:45And in this manner, I made the acquaintance of Windrush Hyperia.

00:16:49Who?

00:16:50She was a delightful animal.

00:16:52Plucky, affectionate, and full of fun.

00:16:54Yes, yes, but what about the main plot?

00:16:56In what I've been telling you, there's nothing irrelevant.

00:16:59One morning, I tacked up Windrush Hyperia, and we rode out.

00:17:04My objective was Wind Green Hill.

00:17:07You've been there, to me.

00:17:09A slow approach one way, and a very heavy drop another.

00:17:13And 900 feet above sea level.

00:17:16Trouble was, the higher we rode, the foggier it became.

00:17:19Until by the time we reached the top,

00:17:21you could hardly see five yards about you.

00:17:25There was a cold wind which buffeted the fog around,

00:17:28and Hyperia was nervous and anxious to be on the gallop,

00:17:30which would have been crazy in those conditions.

00:17:33But someone on Wind Green was crazy in that morning.

00:17:36What the hell is going on?

00:17:41Get out of the way!

00:17:43Rain in that horse!

00:17:45I can't hear you!

00:17:47Control it!

00:17:48Right!

00:17:49Turn right, for God's sake!

00:17:55Just what the devil do you think you will play?

00:17:58We must go.

00:17:59That's what this place is for.

00:18:01Not in conditions like these.

00:18:03I didn't think anyone else would be up here today.

00:18:06You simply didn't think!

00:18:08You realise you could have killed us,

00:18:10and the horses, riding in a lunatic way like that?

00:18:12We could all have gone down the side.

00:18:14Would it have mattered?

00:18:15What you do with your life is your concern.

00:18:18Yes.

00:18:18You also chose to involve two innocent horses and me.

00:18:22I don't want mine next welcome by the antics of an ill-natured adolescent.

00:18:25Have you finished?

00:18:26No, I have not!

00:18:27Is that your horse?

00:18:28No!

00:18:29Yes!

00:18:29So it's not!

00:18:30And you might have killed him!

00:18:32Who does he belong to?

00:18:32What's he got to do with you?

00:18:34I didn't steal him.

00:18:35I didn't get it.

00:18:36I know you.

00:18:37A friend of the Ludlam girl.

00:18:39Birmingham!

00:18:40Elaine, Birmingham!

00:18:41No, I'm not.

00:18:41I'm not really.

00:18:43I met you in a lunatic over two years ago.

00:18:45You just moved into the Grange at Semley.

00:18:47Then you have a better memory than I have.

00:18:49Because I've never seen you before!

00:18:51Now, can I go?

00:18:52Certainly!

00:18:53But I'm coming with you!

00:18:54You're what?

00:18:55I realise the distress the child must have caused you, Dr. Forgan, but if I can only

00:19:01begin to explain to you the circumstances that have brought her to this attitude of mind,

00:19:07I'm certain you'll find it in your heart to forgive her.

00:19:09Oh, Dennis, Dr. Forgan must be well aware of what's happened to the Birminghams.

00:19:13He reads the newspapers, he listens to the wireless.

00:19:16Well, I've just come back from a few weeks in Cyprus, Mrs. Ludlam, and a long way behind

00:19:19on local news.

00:19:20What has happened to the Birminghams?

00:19:22The parents divorced?

00:19:24Divorced?

00:19:26I'm afraid to say they're dead.

00:19:30Dead?

00:19:31Dead.

00:19:34Both of them?

00:19:35Yes.

00:19:37An accident?

00:19:38Well, I...

00:19:38Mr. Birmingham was thrown through the plate glass window of his London office.

00:19:43He fell four storeys onto the pavement in Victoria Street.

00:19:46He died in the ambulance.

00:19:47Mrs. Birmingham died a month later of shock and grief, and of the heart disease that's

00:19:53troubled her for many years.

00:19:56Well, if anyone else had told me this, dear.

00:20:00So Mr. Birmingham was murdered?

00:20:04Manslaughter.

00:20:05It's thought.

00:20:06Oh, it's grotesque.

00:20:08I think it's likely that the alleged felon, Mr. Rufus Osgathorff of Leeds, will receive

00:20:14the lightest possible sentence.

00:20:15Rufus Osgathorff of Leeds?

00:20:21I'm sorry.

00:20:22But the whole thing...

00:20:24Why would Rufus Osgathorff wish to defenestrate Wilfred Birmingham?

00:20:31Because he was owed a quarter of a million pounds.

00:20:33And because the morning the defenestration occurred, he just learned that there was no

00:20:38likelihood he was ever receiving it.

00:20:40He remonstrated with Mr. Birmingham so passionately that the unfortunate man was shoved through the

00:20:44window.

00:20:44A quarter of a million?

00:20:46I'm afraid our poor neighbour died, leaving debts in excess of four and a half million

00:20:51pounds.

00:20:52This is staggering.

00:20:54As you can imagine.

00:20:55Because we know Elaine so well, and came to know Mr. and Mrs. Birmingham fairly well

00:21:00once they'd bought the Grange, we felt it our duty to keep up with the increasingly alarming

00:21:04news that this year brought.

00:21:06Looking back, it's clear that when he bought that remarkable house at Semley, he was living

00:21:10not merely on borrowed time, but on borrowed money.

00:21:13He was a confidence man?

00:21:15Certainly not.

00:21:16A man more sinned against than sinning.

00:21:19He was, in broad loom terms, a visionary, but no accountant.

00:21:24By the time he realised the magnitude of his debts, it was too late.

00:21:27The collapse of his empire was inevitable.

00:21:29We've seen it before, Dr. Foghan.

00:21:32One thinks of John Bloom and his washing machines, of Dr. Savundra and his insurance company, and

00:21:37we shall see it again.

00:21:38It was the advent of commercial television that ruined him.

00:21:41Until then, he'd had no serious competitors.

00:21:43His name and his product had been imprinted on the minds of his public for well over a decade.

00:21:48Then came the rivals and the commercials, and Birmingham found his methods obsolete.

00:21:54What he'd done so well, others could do cheaper and faster.

00:21:59So he decided, too late, to modernise his factories.

00:22:02He spent millions on new equipment, new premises, new warehouses, on retraining his personnel.

00:22:07Then he launched the single most costly television campaign ever seen in Britain.

00:22:12Ah, but it was too late.

00:22:15Broad loom by Birmingham suddenly became in the public eye as old hatters, dried eggs.

00:22:20He failed, and the creditors stormed him.

00:22:25Amongst them, Mr. Rufus Osgathorpe.

00:22:29But can you imagine the shock and horror that must have invaded Angela and Elaine?

00:22:34Two people entirely naive in commercial matters, given over, in a moment, to the hands of their objectionable London solicitor.

00:22:42The truth of the matter is that your husband was his own worst enemy, Mrs. Birmingham.

00:22:47Whatever do you mean?

00:22:48He was proud, and rightly, of all he'd built up.

00:22:52But he was too proud to turn it into a limited liability.

00:22:55I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Kemp.

00:22:58He used to say that he'd never dodge the column if his business failed.

00:23:02Everything he had would be at the disposal of his creditors.

00:23:05Everything, Mrs. Birmingham.

00:23:07But from what I've read, Ruf left nothing for his creditors.

00:23:10He left a fully furnished house in Wiltshire, Mrs. Birmingham.

00:23:13He left three motor cars, four ponies and a horse.

00:23:16He left a fully furnished house in London.

00:23:19This house, Mrs. Birmingham...

00:23:20Of course he did.

00:23:21He left it to me.

00:23:23The moment his business went into liquidation, the official receiver took over his affairs.

00:23:29Mr. Birmingham could not leave you what he no longer owned.

00:23:32It'll all have to go, I'm afraid.

00:23:35Oh, but...

00:23:36The houses, the cars, the animals, the land, the furnishings, and all his clothing and personal possessions.

00:23:42Go where?

00:23:44Do you realise how many people have been ruined by your father's downfall, young lady?

00:23:48Do you begin to understand how much he owes?

00:23:51Oh, but...

00:23:51Optimistically, the sale of all his possessions may bring in half a million.

00:23:56Would it really?

00:23:56And that still leaves four million, outstanding, four million pounds that can never be repaid.

00:24:01You mean, they're going to sell the roof over our heads, but where are me and Elaine to live?

00:24:08What are we to live on?

00:24:10I mean, I'm an invalid, Mr. Campy.

00:24:13Elaine's a schoolgirl.

00:24:14How are we going to live?

00:24:17I hope you have some understanding relatives.

00:24:21Otherwise, you'll have to ask the state to help you out.

00:24:24Oh, the state.

00:24:26I could have killed him, Mr. Ludlam.

00:24:28That awful, common little man.

00:24:30I don't know how much money his horrible firm had from Daddy,

00:24:33but he treated my mother and me as though we were criminals.

00:24:36How is your mother?

00:24:37She isn't well.

00:24:38She had no idea things were as bad as this.

00:24:40But she's being looked after.

00:24:41By the state.

00:24:43She's in Charing Cross Hospital.

00:24:45They specialise in heart diseases, so they say.

00:24:48But who's looking after you?

00:24:50My Aunt Daphne, father's sister.

00:24:52She's helping to organise the sale of the furniture.

00:24:55This is a dreadful business for you, Elaine.

00:24:58Off.

00:24:58And what about school?

00:25:00Oh, you can forget school.

00:25:02That's all finished.

00:25:03But I'm sure Miss Verica would sympathise.

00:25:04She could hardly do anything else.

00:25:06Daddy bought the school a new gym and a swimming pool.

00:25:09But I expect Miss Verica's thinking it was with dirty money.

00:25:11I'm sure she thinks nothing of the sort.

00:25:13Anyhow, how could I go back now,

00:25:16with everyone knowing what's happened?

00:25:17All the gossip and the giggling.

00:25:19All the nasty remarks.

00:25:21But what's the alternative?

00:25:23I can get a job, can't I?

00:25:25I'm 16.

00:25:27Dennis did everything he could, Dr. Forgan.

00:25:30He tried and he pleaded.

00:25:31She was very upset at the time.

00:25:33He tried and he pleaded.

00:25:35He urged her to go back to school.

00:25:37He said she could spend her holidays with us.

00:25:39Naomi would never let her down.

00:25:41Miss Verica was all consideration.

00:25:43But no, her mind was made up.

00:25:45You can hardly blame her, Kate.

00:25:46It was an intolerable situation.

00:25:47At any rate, what did she do?

00:25:49Matters came to a head when poor Mrs. Birmingham died.

00:25:52What a catalogue of horrors for the corner.

00:25:54A gruesome catalogue indeed.

00:25:56The house in London was the first to go.

00:25:58And Elaine went to live in Barnes with her Aunt Daphne.

00:26:01The Wilfred Birmingham's sister.

00:26:02Mr. Birmingham's older sister.

00:26:04The younger lives in Tasmania, I believe.

00:26:06I see.

00:26:07Barnes.

00:26:08And did she get a job?

00:26:09Dr. Forgan,

00:26:11that girl has gone from misfortune to misfortune.

00:26:14We tried to keep in touch with her.

00:26:16Naomi wrote to her regularly from school.

00:26:18But after one perfunctory letter from Elaine,

00:26:20she heard nothing.

00:26:22Then, what is she doing here?

00:26:26It's been no stopping...

00:26:27There are letters which I feel

00:26:28should be left to Elaine to recount,

00:26:31or not,

00:26:32as only she can decide, Dr. Forgan.

00:26:35Two days after the incident with the horses,

00:26:38Elaine turned up here,

00:26:40looking both sly and exhausted.

00:26:42How long will you be staying with the Ludlums?

00:26:44I haven't a clue.

00:26:46Well, I suppose until I find a job.

00:26:48And down here?

00:26:49And there'll be more openings in London?

00:26:51I don't want to see London again as long as I live.

00:26:54The problems I had there.

00:26:56I gather that after the misfortune,

00:26:59you went to live with your aunt in Barnes.

00:27:01My aunt?

00:27:03You won't know what it's like

00:27:04to feel obliged to someone you can't stand.

00:27:06Oh, Barnes was all right.

00:27:10But to be cooped up in the house of someone

00:27:11who has you on sufferance,

00:27:13as a duty...

00:27:14Your father's sister?

00:27:16Daphne's the renegade of the Birmingham family.

00:27:18She's academic.

00:27:20She has a degree and a social conscience.

00:27:22She's principal of a teacher's training college,

00:27:24and I can imagine how she trains her teachers.

00:27:27You don't get along with her.

00:27:28Oh, she's like something beastly out of Dickens.

00:27:31No human, no kindness.

00:27:35You've had a very bad time of it recently, Elaine,

00:27:38and there's no-one sorrier than I am

00:27:40about the way things have turned out.

00:27:42And it's decent and natural

00:27:43that you should grieve for your parents.

00:27:45I was fond enough of Wilfred myself,

00:27:47though we went our different ways in the world.

00:27:50But what's done's done.

00:27:52You've lost your parents,

00:27:53and you've lost a very nice way of life.

00:27:56A way of life very few girls of your age

00:27:58could ever have hoped for.

00:27:59But it's time to turn your back on all that

00:28:02and set about making your own way.

00:28:04You've several advantages.

00:28:06You've a good education behind you.

00:28:08You know how to behave in society.

00:28:11And when you take the trouble,

00:28:12you can be a very pretty girl indeed.

00:28:14All in all, not a bad start in life.

00:28:17I had a great deal less to build on.

00:28:20I was plain.

00:28:21I was poor.

00:28:22And in those days, and in our family,

00:28:25girls weren't encouraged to go in for higher education.

00:28:28The best I could expect was head of a counter

00:28:31at Marks and Spencer's in Halifax.

00:28:33But I dug my toes in.

00:28:35I stayed on at school,

00:28:37and I took my high certificate in a county bursary,

00:28:39and I was admitted to the University of Leeds.

00:28:43Proudest day of my life.

00:28:46Now, if you'd dug your toes in and swallowed your pride,

00:28:49you could be back at that very good school of yours now.

00:28:52Miss Verica wanted you back.

00:28:54She welcomed you back,

00:28:55and there you could be.

00:28:56Let's not go into that all over again.

00:28:59And there you are, you see,

00:29:00looking the gift horse in the mouth.

00:29:02It's pride, you see.

00:29:04It's pride that was your father's downfall

00:29:06because he wouldn't make adequate provisions for his family.

00:29:09And it's pride that's cut you off

00:29:11from the benefits of a sixth-form education.

00:29:13Would you have gone back as a pauper?

00:29:15When you get above yourself,

00:29:17it's time to take stock.

00:29:19I'm not altogether disappointed you're not going back there,

00:29:23because a school like that contains a lot of flighty girls

00:29:26who aren't a bit interested in higher education.

00:29:29They'll never need to do a hand's turn in their lives

00:29:31because they'll be protected all their lives by money.

00:29:35But, Elaine,

00:29:36character isn't built on money.

00:29:39It's built on your own efforts.

00:29:41That's what effort am I supposed to make?

00:29:45It's your duty.

00:29:46It's your necessity to make yourself useful in life.

00:29:50Unfortunately, I have contacts who can help in that direction.

00:29:55I have a friend, Miss Gutteridge,

00:29:57who's doing very nicely with a useful little business in Richmond.

00:30:00She runs a commercial college

00:30:02where clever young people like you

00:30:04can learn shorthand and typing and business accountancy.

00:30:07Two years with Miss Gutteridge,

00:30:09and you'll be well qualified to hold down

00:30:11a very good secretarial job anywhere in London.

00:30:14Hip, hip, hooray.

00:30:15Are you being facetious, Elaine?

00:30:17A secretarial job wasn't what I had in mind.

00:30:20Dare say it wasn't.

00:30:22But you're in no position to pick and choose, are you?

00:30:25You can thank your lucky stars

00:30:27that Miss Gutteridge is prepared to help out.

00:30:30She is offering you a two-year course on very reduced terms,

00:30:34simply because I've been able to find places in my college

00:30:37for one or two of her best girls.

00:30:39She must be a very wonderful person.

00:30:41I don't admire your attitude, Elaine.

00:30:45Sarcasm's an unpleasant trait at the best of times,

00:30:48and it certainly doesn't become a bit of a girl like you.

00:30:53With regard to your predicament,

00:30:57with regard to what's actually the notoriety of Wilfred's death,

00:31:01we agreed it would be best if you didn't use your own surname at the college.

00:31:06If the other girls knew who you were,

00:31:08they could make life rather difficult for you.

00:31:11So you're enrolled as Elaine Hopper.

00:31:13Elaine Hopper?

00:31:14Oh, your mother's maiden name.

00:31:17We've no need to be entirely fictitious.

00:31:19Yes, I can see.

00:31:23Not the best of springboards for a glittering career.

00:31:26It was awful, awful.

00:31:28I was sent up for putting on airs and graces.

00:31:31And when I managed to do well in the end-of-term exams,

00:31:34the other girls said it was because I had an inn with Miss Gutteridge.

00:31:37Oh, I couldn't stand them.

00:31:38They were dreadful.

00:31:39So boring.

00:31:40You'd win no popularity prizes in that society.

00:31:42I was so fed up with their stupid chatter

00:31:44that I couldn't bear to eat where they ate.

00:31:47I made sandwiches for myself most mornings.

00:31:49But once a week I'd escape to a pub in Richmond.

00:31:52Any pub, just to get away from them.

00:31:54Though you were underage?

00:31:55Oh, that's why I enjoyed it.

00:31:57It was...

00:31:58I was defying all the precepts laid down by Aunt Daphne.

00:32:02But is there any other significance in this pubbing of yours?

00:32:06Are you catechising me, Dr. Forgan?

00:32:10Yes, it was significant.

00:32:13I was in this pub one lunchtime.

00:32:17It was Friday and the place was packed.

00:32:19I'd found a corner stool and I was guarding my ham roll

00:32:22and my gin and tonic for all I was worth.

00:32:24And this man stood near me, trying to buy a drink.

00:32:30He was rather good-looking.

00:32:31Fair hair, a thin, interesting face, and a fair moustache.

00:32:36He was wearing some unusual club blazer.

00:32:38And he knocked over my gin and tonic.

00:32:42It doesn't matter.

00:32:44Of course it matters.

00:32:45Your glass was full and I, like a BF, knocked it over.

00:32:49What was it?

00:32:49No, really.

00:32:50Nonsense.

00:32:51Looked like a G&T.

00:32:52Sean, a large gin and tonic for the lady

00:32:55and a large vodka and tonic for yours truly.

00:32:57So, though I say it myself, do you come here often?

00:33:03None again.

00:33:04Then why is it that I've never clapped eyes on you before

00:33:07and I come here every day other than Sunday?

00:33:11Ah, your glass replenished and with a multo apologies.

00:33:17Cheers.

00:33:18Cheers.

00:33:20Sir, what's a beautiful creature like you doing in a hellhole like this?

00:33:25I was having lunch.

00:33:27Lunch?

00:33:28One of Sean's disgusting roles?

00:33:30Yes.

00:33:31You should be feasting on stone crab and pink champagne.

00:33:34Oh, if I had the money.

00:33:35There's always money about for sensational girls like you.

00:33:40And I should know.

00:33:42I photograph them every day, except Sunday.

00:33:46You're a photographer?

00:33:48My card.

00:33:50I yield you my card.

00:33:52If only because you're the best thing that's swum into my ken since Sophia Loren.

00:33:57Clifford Arendell.

00:33:59And you photographed her?

00:34:01The proof's positive, my angel.

00:34:03What about that?

00:34:05It's beautiful.

00:34:07Where was it taken?

00:34:09My studio.

00:34:10Not a stone's throw from here.

00:34:13Now, I know you must have had propositions from a hundred guys at least.

00:34:19I really do believe you've got what it takes.

00:34:23What, what takes?

00:34:24Come on, fez up.

00:34:26You're a model, aren't you?

00:34:28I'm certain I've seen you in Vanity Fair.

00:34:30Then you're wrong.

00:34:32I'm still studying.

00:34:33The wrong things, darling.

00:34:36Your face, your figure.

00:34:38You should be on the front page of every glossy on the news.

00:34:43You couldn't have picked me up at a time when I was more ready to be picked up.

00:34:47He had charm and self-assurance, and he was an older man.

00:34:51And his name again?

00:34:52His card said Clifford Arendell, Society and Fashion Photographer.

00:34:56And was he?

00:34:57Well, he had a Hasselblad with all the fittings, and he must have used two roles photographing me in Richmond Park.

00:35:02Deer in the foreground, deer in the background, against a string of horses from Stag Lodge, running into Spankers Hillwood.

00:35:08It took the best part of the afternoon, and Cliff was so helpful and enthusiastic.

00:35:14He was such fun.

00:35:16The best part of the afternoon?

00:35:17Had you no lessons?

00:35:18I skipped them.

00:35:19This was far more amusing.

00:35:21And did you see the results of the afternoon's fun?

00:35:24We were too busy.

00:35:27Afterwards, Cliff drove me to his studio.

00:35:29It was much smaller than I'd imagined, and not a bit glamorous.

00:35:32It was over an ironmonger shop.

00:35:34Quite honestly, it was tatty.

00:35:35Am I supposed to go on?

00:35:40Up to you.

00:35:42He introduced me to a girl called Murray and a boy called Ken.

00:35:46Said they were his assistants.

00:35:48Then Cliff got me very drunk, and when I passed out, they undressed me and took pornographic pictures.

00:35:56When I realised what was happening, I nearly went mad.

00:35:58I knocked over one of his big lamps.

00:35:59It exploded.

00:36:00Everyone was yelling and struggling.

00:36:02Somehow I got dressed and just ran.

00:36:05I'm afraid she doesn't want to see you at the moment, Miss Birmingham.

00:36:19I dare say she doesn't.

00:36:21But I want to see her.

00:36:23If you have Elaine's interests at heart, and I'm sure you do,

00:36:26then you're best advised to postpone the visit until she's ready for it.

00:36:29What on earth did the girl think she was doing, behaving so irresponsibly?

00:36:35What time did she come home yesterday?

00:36:38I can't be sure.

00:36:40She wasn't here when I arrived shortly after six.

00:36:43No note, no explanation, but that was hardly surprising.

00:36:48She often decided to go to the cinema or just out of an evening without telling me.

00:36:52But when she wasn't home by eleven, half past eleven, I became very worried indeed.

00:37:00At midnight, I rang the police.

00:37:02They told me not to worry unduly and that they'd make inquiries.

00:37:07I telephoned them again, twice.

00:37:09And at three this morning, they were on my doorstep.

00:37:13A girl answering my description of Elaine was in the general hospital.

00:37:16Would I go there and see if she was Elaine?

00:37:18Elaine, I was terrified.

00:37:22I went with them, of course, and I identified Elaine.

00:37:26She hadn't recovered full consciousness when they administered the stomach pump,

00:37:31and she was sleeping heavily when I arrived.

00:37:35They told me there was no purpose to be served by my staying there

00:37:38and that I should be notified when I could visit.

00:37:42And now you tell me I must wait for Elaine to make up her mind when she'll see me?

00:37:47Well, the whole thing's monstrous.

00:37:56Hello.

00:37:57How are you feeling, love?

00:37:58A bit better, thank you.

00:38:01Not much, though.

00:38:03You found me.

00:38:05A courting couple.

00:38:07You gave them a terrible fright.

00:38:08They thought you'd been murdered.

00:38:10You also made things difficult.

00:38:13They knew they had to get you to hospital as quick as possible.

00:38:15Well, but unfortunately, he was married and she wasn't.

00:38:20Oh, Lord.

00:38:21The girl made the 999 call anonymously and then shot off home, presumably.

00:38:25The man stood by to look after you.

00:38:28You were wearing his jacket when the ambulance arrived.

00:38:31He wouldn't give his name, but the police detained him.

00:38:34They thought he must have something to do with your condition.

00:38:36How awful.

00:38:37Oh, yes, wasn't it?

00:38:39They allowed him to telephone his wife.

00:38:41Heaven knows what excuses the poor man made.

00:38:44But if his marriage was dicey before, I reckon it'll be all washed up by now.

00:38:48Because until you'd come to, failed to recognise the man and got him off the hook, he was kept in custody.

00:38:55He'd have been better off leaving me.

00:38:57If he had, you and I wouldn't be sat here chatting.

00:39:00He saved your life and more than likely ruined his own to do it.

00:39:04Well, can't I explain to his wife?

00:39:08You keep right out of it.

00:39:10He's in enough trouble as it is.

00:39:12Was Cliff's fault all this started?

00:39:14What about him?

00:39:15The police were round at his studio first thing this morning.

00:39:19Everything gone, packed up clean as a whistle and away.

00:39:21But...

00:39:21Leaving quite a lot of rental outstanding.

00:39:24But can't they trace him?

00:39:26Cliff at Arundel.

00:39:27He showed me his card.

00:39:29People who take pornographic photographs don't use their real name, love.

00:39:34I think I'm going to be sick again.

00:39:36You're going to be all right.

00:39:39What did you take?

00:39:41I shall be sick if you make me talk about it.

00:39:44Lots of aspirin in your auntie's cooking, Sherry.

00:39:46Yuck.

00:39:48If you know, why did you ask?

00:39:51Look, the sicker you feel at the mention of aspirin and alcohol,

00:39:55the less likely you are to try them again.

00:39:58When are you going to see your aunt?

00:40:00Never.

00:40:01I couldn't bear the thought of all those recriminations.

00:40:04She means well.

00:40:06She has a nice house,

00:40:07and you've a pretty room of your own there.

00:40:09It's a prison.

00:40:12I've tried with that girl, Miss Peel.

00:40:14I've tried for 18 months.

00:40:16But she's sullen, incommunicative, and sometimes downright cheeky.

00:40:22If it wasn't for her unfortunate background,

00:40:24I'd have had her out of my house months ago.

00:40:27Well, she's had a nasty time, but she's done nothing to help herself.

00:40:30And she's shown me no consideration or affection.

00:40:34She doesn't want to live here, Miss Birmingham.

00:40:36Who wants to become of her?

00:40:38Well, she's not 18 yet.

00:40:39She's still a minor at law.

00:40:41She'll have to stay in a hostel.

00:40:43There is a place for girls in a similar predicament in Richmond.

00:40:45A hostel among girls with criminal tendencies.

00:40:50A girl with criminal tendencies.

00:40:52Is that how you see your niece, Miss Birmingham?

00:40:56Miss Peel was all right.

00:40:58I could get on with her.

00:40:59She was kind, but she was tough and practical.

00:41:02No sentimentality.

00:41:03Well, that's her job.

00:41:04She's a welfare officer, and you're not related to her.

00:41:08You've given your aunt a rough time, haven't you?

00:41:11Well, she deserved it, all that pity and piety.

00:41:13So you chose the hostel.

00:41:15Without Aunt Daphne, there was no alternative.

00:41:18I was in care and protection.

00:41:20I can't imagine the hostel was an improvement on your aunt's home.

00:41:23I swapped one kind of hell for another.

00:41:25Though there isn't much to choose between a domestic hell and an institutionalised one.

00:41:30I stuck it for a month, and I had all the snide remarks over again.

00:41:34What's an upper-class kid doing here, slamming it, are we?

00:41:38Why weren't you dead of the year, then?

00:41:43You haven't given it much of a whirl, have you?

00:41:46A month?

00:41:46It's horrible.

00:41:47You must know how horrible it is.

00:41:49You'll be 18 in two months' time.

00:41:52In three months, if you work, you'll have your secretarial qualifications.

00:41:56Then you can get a job, and we can find you some decent digs.

00:42:00A little flat later on.

00:42:02Somewhere of your own, once you've saved a bit.

00:42:05Is that asking too much?

00:42:06What a smashing future.

00:42:08Digs in Twickenham and a job in a bald-bearing factory.

00:42:11You could be pushing up daisies.

00:42:13It'd be better than this.

00:42:14I don't need self-pity, not in this office.

00:42:17Look, I've had everything, and you've never had anything,

00:42:20and that's the difference between us.

00:42:21And that's why you'll never understand that I'd rather be dead

00:42:23than have this nothing life!

00:42:30Oh, there you are.

00:42:31I put a sweat rug on, Tema there,

00:42:33but you need a short feed after all that exercise.

00:42:35Would you be a poppet?

00:42:36Yes, all right.

00:42:37Two scoops of nuts and one of bran.

00:42:39With a little water mixed in, yes.

00:42:41And Dennis!

00:42:43Coming, my love!

00:42:44Dennis, don't you think the least we can do

00:42:46is to offer Dr. Forgan a drink after all this excitement?

00:42:49Yes, of course.

00:42:50It's a...

00:42:50Whiskey and water.

00:42:52And Dennis, the door, please.

00:42:55Oh.

00:42:57So, was she forthcoming?

00:42:59Very.

00:43:00She'd reached the stage of threatening to quit the hostel.

00:43:04I can't wait for the next installment.

00:43:06Oh.

00:43:06I don't mean to be flippant,

00:43:07but that girl's packed more incident

00:43:09in the just two years of her life than I've seen in 40.

00:43:11Is that enough water?

00:43:12Oh, thank you.

00:43:13She's had a ghastly time.

00:43:15An impossible time.

00:43:17Hmm.

00:43:18The greatest in fortune.

00:43:20What's that old chap?

00:43:21Oh, something Elaine said, she said to the welfare officer

00:43:24reminded me of Chaucer.

00:43:25Miss Pugh reminded you of Chaucer?

00:43:27Oh, Dennis, really.

00:43:28Chaucer wrote that the worst sort of human misery

00:43:31occurs when someone who's had everything

00:43:32looks back on the full days of old

00:43:35when they're down and out.

00:43:36Exactly.

00:43:37Exactly.

00:43:38It's what I've said to Dennis over and over again.

00:43:41Elaine had everything.

00:43:43And now...

00:43:43And now she has us, darling.

00:43:45Ah-ha.

00:43:45You've taken her on.

00:43:46Well, what option did we have?

00:43:48You should have seen the state she was in, poor creature.

00:43:50I think Dr. Fogin might like to know.

00:43:53It was astonishing.

00:43:55I was sitting here with the wireless on in this very room

00:43:58at about nine that evening.

00:44:00Dennis was playing billiards on his own

00:44:02and I was repairing his sucking riches.

00:44:04It had been raining heavily all evening

00:44:06and the fire was spitting and crackling.

00:44:09And then there was this thundering at the door,

00:44:12so loud and unexpected.

00:44:14The dogs created such a hullabaloo

00:44:16that they managed to deserve even Dennis's concentration.

00:44:20He hurried to the door

00:44:20and there was Elaine,

00:44:23drenched and exhausted

00:44:24and carrying a plastic bag.

00:44:29All her worldly goods in a plastic bag.

00:44:32Well, how did she reach you?

00:44:34By train, from Waterloo to Tisbury.

00:44:36Then from Tisbury, because she had no money left,

00:44:39she walked.

00:44:39Walked through seven miles of downpour.

00:44:41Well, if only she thought to telephone us.

00:44:43She had no money.

00:44:44She could have reversed the charges.

00:44:46Anyway, here she was,

00:44:47obviously in difficulties and soaked to the skin.

00:44:50I ran her a bath,

00:44:51Dennis made up a hot cordial

00:44:52and I laid out some of Naomi's clothes.

00:44:54And then the sorry tale was unfolded.

00:44:57But there was worse to follow.

00:44:59You overhauled me.

00:45:00If she had no money...

00:45:02It occurred to me,

00:45:03quite early on during her revelation,

00:45:06but of course she had no money.

00:45:08But her preposterous but helpful aunt

00:45:10had, as it were,

00:45:11subbed Elaine for 18 months

00:45:13through secretarial college.

00:45:15Given her pocket money,

00:45:16made her some kind of clothing allowance.

00:45:18But all that must have stopped.

00:45:20Immediately.

00:45:20When Elaine chose to reject Miss Birmingham

00:45:22in favour of this girl's hostel in Richmond.

00:45:25Well, presumably,

00:45:27the inmates would be allowed

00:45:28the merest modicum of pocket money.

00:45:32Yes, of course.

00:45:34So, where did the train fare come from?

00:45:36She stole it.

00:45:37Borrowed it.

00:45:38Stole it.

00:45:40If rifling someone's handbag

00:45:42and taking £10 without the owner's consent

00:45:44is borrowing,

00:45:45then by all means,

00:45:46Elaine borrowed her train fare.

00:45:48First class fare, Dr. Foreman.

00:45:50Yes, well, old habits die hard.

00:45:52But she left a note

00:45:53saying she would repay the money.

00:45:55And who repaid the money?

00:45:57Dennis?

00:45:59The hostel had become intolerable

00:46:00and she needed to get away.

00:46:02And she had neither the cash nor the checkbook,

00:46:04so she took the money

00:46:05and left an I.O.U.

00:46:07The welfare officer, Miss Peel,

00:46:09actually took the trouble

00:46:10to motor down at the weekend

00:46:11in her own time,

00:46:13all the way from Richmond,

00:46:14in a car that certainly

00:46:15had seen much better days.

00:46:17Dennis gave her the £10 immediately

00:46:19to repay this Mrs...

00:46:20or somebody or other

00:46:21who was a mate from the hostel.

00:46:24I liked Miss Peel.

00:46:25She was a sensible young woman

00:46:27and she took her duties seriously.

00:46:29She obviously liked Elaine.

00:46:31Elaine liked her.

00:46:32But made it clear

00:46:33she was never going back to London.

00:46:35There were certain legal difficulties.

00:46:37But Dennis,

00:46:38as an experienced solicitor,

00:46:39was able to shortcut most of them.

00:46:41Because Elaine is still under age,

00:46:43someone must be legally responsible for her.

00:46:45First it was her aunt,

00:46:47then it was Richmond Council,

00:46:48and latterly us.

00:46:50A neighbour of ours,

00:46:51Janet Bultitude,

00:46:53have you met her?

00:46:53Is a magistrate.

00:46:55With her approval

00:46:56and that of Miss Peel,

00:46:57Kate and I undertook

00:46:58to act as legal guardians

00:46:59to Elaine

00:47:00until she achieves her majority,

00:47:02which time, I might say,

00:47:03is imminent.

00:47:04You're being very good to her.

00:47:06We're very fond of her,

00:47:07Dr. Foghan.

00:47:08She's been a prisoner of her past.

00:47:11And we're determined to help her

00:47:13to escape to a better future.

00:47:15Then what will that future be?

00:47:17Well, what was the future?

00:47:19And what about your silver?

00:47:21The silver will have to wait.

00:47:23Oh.

00:47:24I offered Elaine

00:47:25a temporary sinecure.

00:47:27There was something admirable

00:47:28about the Netherlands' determination

00:47:29to pull her fat out of the fire

00:47:31when I knew that they were hard-pressed financially.

00:47:34So I engaged Elaine

00:47:35at ten bob an hour

00:47:36to catalogue my books.

00:47:37But she guessed it was a handout.

00:47:39Oh, I'm sure she did.

00:47:40Though both of us

00:47:41necessarily maintained the fiction

00:47:43that she was doing me

00:47:43an extraordinarily good turn.

00:47:46More?

00:47:46Oh, please.

00:47:50It was an uncomfortable period,

00:47:52probably for her

00:47:52and certainly for me.

00:47:54I was planning a series of lectures

00:47:56and I like solitude

00:47:57when I'm working.

00:47:58Suddenly,

00:48:00it was a human being in the place

00:48:01in my life

00:48:02for whom I had to assume

00:48:03some responsibility.

00:48:04Giving her coffee,

00:48:05giving her tea,

00:48:07listening to her

00:48:07jejune ideas

00:48:08about life and art,

00:48:10taking her to the pub for lunch.

00:48:12Then if she hadn't been round,

00:48:13I'd have improvised

00:48:14perfectly well.

00:48:16Hmm.

00:48:16Was she conscientious?

00:48:18Hmm, at times.

00:48:19I found a jackdaw,

00:48:20Dr. Forgan.

00:48:22She seemed to enjoy

00:48:22being amongst books,

00:48:24but she was easily distracted.

00:48:25Can I give him

00:48:26some milk in the kitchen?

00:48:28Anyway,

00:48:28the vacation came to an end

00:48:30and the books

00:48:30were still in chaos

00:48:31and Elaine went back

00:48:32to subsidise unemployment

00:48:33with the Ludlums

00:48:34and I went back to Oxford,

00:48:37imagining and hoping

00:48:38that I'd seen

00:48:38and heard the last of her.

00:48:39But since there are

00:48:40several chapters to go...

00:48:42I spent most of the

00:48:43Christmas vacation in India

00:48:44where I ran into

00:48:45Blazer Povey

00:48:46in Madras.

00:48:47Blazer!

00:48:49Yeah.

00:48:50He was probably

00:48:50dodging debts in England,

00:48:52but he represented himself

00:48:53as manufacturing

00:48:54saddlery in India

00:48:55for consumption

00:48:56in the home counties.

00:48:58Blazer was always versatile.

00:49:00And then back home

00:49:01and the slow,

00:49:01cold slog

00:49:02of the Hillary term,

00:49:03I came back here

00:49:04shortly before Easter

00:49:05and set about

00:49:06ridding the place

00:49:06of dust, cobwebs

00:49:07and dry rot.

00:49:08I hadn't been here

00:49:09more than a couple of days

00:49:10when upcycled

00:49:11Dennis Ludlum

00:49:12and I knew

00:49:14that tranquil days

00:49:15had gone again.

00:49:15Ludlum appears

00:49:17to be your

00:49:18rural nemesis.

00:49:20Young Elaine

00:49:20was the nemesis

00:49:21of us all.

00:49:23There'd been evidently

00:49:23a bizarre turn-up

00:49:25for the bookshade,

00:49:26Ludlum,

00:49:26so would I join them

00:49:27for dinner,

00:49:27no talk of billiards

00:49:28and stuff,

00:49:29and talk it over.

00:49:31The dedicated bicyclist

00:49:32assured me

00:49:32in those profound

00:49:33and solemn tones

00:49:34that my advice

00:49:35would be particularly valuable

00:49:36since I was more

00:49:38than a passing acquaintance

00:49:39of the two

00:49:40involved parties.

00:49:41You seem to do nothing

00:49:43but cry on your shoulder,

00:49:44Dr. Fulgan,

00:49:45but this time

00:49:46we're even more

00:49:47worried about Elaine.

00:49:49What's she been up to

00:49:50this time?

00:49:51She has eloped

00:49:52with my brother.

00:49:55Eloped?

00:49:55Hardly the right word,

00:49:56old chap.

00:49:57Elaine and Richard

00:49:58have reached

00:49:58an understanding.

00:50:00Can we job backwards

00:50:02a little?

00:50:03Richard is your brother,

00:50:04Mrs. London.

00:50:05My youngest brother.

00:50:06Is he married?

00:50:06Not yet, thank heaven.

00:50:08But he and Elaine

00:50:09have set up house together.

00:50:10They're living together.

00:50:11In Maryland.

00:50:12And that distresses you?

00:50:14It appalls me.

00:50:16Richard is 32,

00:50:17granted,

00:50:17but he's emotionally immature.

00:50:19And Elaine,

00:50:20well, you know Elaine,

00:50:21how insecure

00:50:22and highly strong she is.

00:50:24But they're both of age,

00:50:25Mrs. Ludlam,

00:50:25and if this kind of life

00:50:26is what they want...

00:50:27But it isn't what they want.

00:50:28It's an infatuation.

00:50:30If they should marry,

00:50:31they'll regret it

00:50:31for the rest of their lives.

00:50:32Well, then the regret

00:50:33will be something

00:50:33they must live with.

00:50:34That's exactly

00:50:35what Dennis said you'd say.

00:50:36Because it's true.

00:50:38They are beyond

00:50:38our influence now.

00:50:39They're nothing of the kind.

00:50:40They aren't married yet,

00:50:41are they?

00:50:42Look, what

00:50:42exactly

00:50:44are you wanting me to do?

00:50:46If you're expecting me

00:50:47to intervene

00:50:47in this love affair,

00:50:48then I'm accepting

00:50:49your hospitality

00:50:50under false pretenses.

00:50:51How can I help?

00:50:52Indeed.

00:50:53Why should I help?

00:50:54Because they're totally

00:50:55unsuited to one another

00:50:56and to marriage.

00:50:57How could you possibly

00:50:58know that?

00:50:58Because I know them

00:50:59both very well.

00:51:01Look, I'm still in the dark.

00:51:02Mr. Ludlam intimated

00:51:04that I knew both people.

00:51:05You do.

00:51:06You know my brother,

00:51:07a pilot with air freight

00:51:08Cyprus,

00:51:09Richard Fricker.

00:51:12Richard Fricker?

00:51:14So Elaine is...

00:51:15Yes, that's who

00:51:16Elaine is.

00:51:18Richard remembered you

00:51:19perfectly well

00:51:20when we discussed you.

00:51:21Yes.

00:51:22Yes, I recall him.

00:51:24I've met him in company

00:51:25with other air crew people,

00:51:26but what makes you feel

00:51:27so sure?

00:51:28He's unsuited for marriage.

00:51:30If he's capable of flying

00:51:31an aeroplane satisfactorily,

00:51:32that makes him both

00:51:32practical and responsible.

00:51:34He's been...

00:51:35Oh, what do they call it

00:51:36nowadays?

00:51:37He's been a...

00:51:38a loner too long.

00:51:40He's gauche in feminine

00:51:41society.

00:51:41I...

00:51:42I know he isn't ready

00:51:44for marriage now,

00:51:44and I doubt if he'll

00:51:45ever be ready for it.

00:51:46These are sweeping

00:51:47statements, Kate.

00:51:48Well, I remember your

00:51:49brother as being a

00:51:50pleasant young man,

00:51:52but, uh, shy.

00:51:53Very shy.

00:51:55Mr. Gauche...

00:51:56The fact of the matter

00:51:56is that Elaine has

00:51:57turned his head.

00:51:58Oh, now, darling.

00:51:58She was lonely,

00:52:00because Naomi and the

00:52:01boys were all away.

00:52:02Richard decided to spend

00:52:03a week of his leave

00:52:04with us.

00:52:05Dennis naturally was

00:52:05at work all day,

00:52:06and I...

00:52:07Well, I always have

00:52:08more than enough

00:52:09to occupy myself with.

00:52:10So they were thrown

00:52:11together, unnaturally,

00:52:13and this ill-advised

00:52:14relationship began.

00:52:15Look, I don't know

00:52:16your brother at all

00:52:17well, but I do know him,

00:52:18and to be fair,

00:52:19I think I can guess

00:52:20at your misgivings.

00:52:22Unless understanding

00:52:22them, unless interfering

00:52:24with his life,

00:52:25how can you or your

00:52:27husband or I know

00:52:28what's gone on

00:52:29in the hearts

00:52:29of them both?

00:52:31If they're in love,

00:52:32and presumably they are,

00:52:33since they're living

00:52:33together in Marylebone,

00:52:35then why should

00:52:35anyone presume

00:52:36to interfere?

00:52:36Because they're in

00:52:37no position to set

00:52:38up house together.

00:52:39But an airline

00:52:39pounder makes

00:52:40a great deal

00:52:40of money,

00:52:41well, more than

00:52:41I could ever

00:52:42hope to command.

00:52:43I'm not talking

00:52:43about money.

00:52:44Surely you must

00:52:45realise that.

00:52:47Dennis, please,

00:52:47please, try to

00:52:48explain to Dr. Forgan.

00:52:49The fact is that...

00:52:52Could we talk in the

00:52:54billiard room?

00:52:55Oh, for heaven's sake,

00:52:56Dennis, we're all

00:52:57adults, aren't we?

00:52:59Kate believes, and

00:53:01after all, she's known

00:53:02Richard all his life,

00:53:04Kate believes that he

00:53:05may be constitutionally

00:53:09unprepared for marriage.

00:53:12You're saying he's

00:53:13homosexual?

00:53:13No, no, no.

00:53:15Well, then what?

00:53:17He has fewer urges

00:53:20than the mass of men.

00:53:21He doesn't need

00:53:22marriage.

00:53:23He's fallen in love

00:53:24with the idea of love.

00:53:26Yet to Elaine, he

00:53:27represents utter security

00:53:28and a happy ever-after

00:53:30conclusion.

00:53:31But that won't be

00:53:32the case.

00:53:32But isn't that

00:53:33something they'll have

00:53:34to discover, or not,

00:53:35for themselves?

00:53:35Aren't you taking too

00:53:36much responsibility on

00:53:37yourself?

00:53:38They may be ideally

00:53:39happy.

00:53:40Give them a chance.

00:53:41Richard is my

00:53:42youngest brother.

00:53:44And I brought him

00:53:44up after my mother

00:53:45died, almost as if

00:53:47he were my son.

00:53:48I know him, Dr.

00:53:50Foghan.

00:53:50And we've known

00:53:51Elaine for five years,

00:53:52almost as a daughter.

00:53:54And we understand

00:53:55her.

00:53:56Of course we want

00:53:57what's best for them

00:53:58both.

00:53:59But what's best for

00:54:00them both is certainly

00:54:01not a marriage between

00:54:03them.

00:54:03It can only end in

00:54:04unhappiness.

00:54:05Hello, Matthew.

00:54:18Elaine.

00:54:19Just about.

00:54:21How long is it since...

00:54:24Look, come on in.

00:54:25Can you give me a hand

00:54:26with the luggage?

00:54:26So, when did we last

00:54:31meet?

00:54:32In Limassol, at Arif's

00:54:35Magic Bar, 71.

00:54:37I was with Richard then.

00:54:39And now?

00:54:40Long story.

00:54:42But you've arrived with

00:54:43luggage, so there's time.

00:54:45Have you a cigarette?

00:54:48Help yourself.

00:54:49Take the packet.

00:54:56You know, I didn't

00:54:57realise till we lived

00:54:58in Cyprus, how many

00:55:00people you knew out

00:55:01there, and how many

00:55:02people knew you.

00:55:03It's been my second

00:55:04home.

00:55:05When I was a boy, it

00:55:05was my first.

00:55:06My father worked out

00:55:07there.

00:55:09I've heard all about

00:55:09that.

00:55:10But what about Neville

00:55:12Dimock and Blazer

00:55:13Povey?

00:55:14Oh, Blazer, back in

00:55:16Cyprus?

00:55:16You can't keep away

00:55:17from the place, can

00:55:18you, the three of

00:55:19you?

00:55:19Now, Blazer, Neville

00:55:20and I were school

00:55:21friends.

00:55:22At the National Service,

00:55:23Blazer and Neville took

00:55:24short-service flying

00:55:24commissions.

00:55:25By chance, they were

00:55:26posted to Akrotiri.

00:55:28I was sent out as an

00:55:28intelligence officer

00:55:29during the Aoka

00:55:30campaign, because I

00:55:31spoke fluent

00:55:32demonic Greek.

00:55:33Neville fell for the

00:55:34place, just as I'd

00:55:35done.

00:55:35And since you've met

00:55:36him, you'll know

00:55:37about his business

00:55:38interests, sir.

00:55:38Mm-hm.

00:55:39Ah, and your

00:55:40husband, too.

00:55:41Went where his

00:55:41contract stipulated.

00:55:43Milk train run.

00:55:44Gatwick, Nicosia,

00:55:45Gatwick, freight.

00:55:46Yeah.

00:55:47Now, when I met you

00:55:48and Richard in

00:55:49Limassol, I must

00:55:49admit, thinking the

00:55:50marriage was fraying a

00:55:53little around the

00:55:53edges.

00:55:53Hmm.

00:55:55And Ludlam said it

00:55:55would be a disaster,

00:55:56you know.

00:55:56They wanted me to

00:55:57intervene.

00:55:58You?

00:55:58What could you have

00:55:59done to stop it?

00:56:00That's exactly what I

00:56:00told them.

00:56:01Yes, well, they were

00:56:02right, weren't they?

00:56:03But at the time, it

00:56:04seemed a good idea.

00:56:05I gained the

00:56:06impression that you

00:56:07liked the life on

00:56:08Cypress better than

00:56:08Richard did.

00:56:09Oh, he never feels

00:56:10secure outside England.

00:56:12But you clearly did.

00:56:13We had a cottage in a

00:56:14village overlooking

00:56:15Kyrenia and the

00:56:16harbour.

00:56:17I've never known a

00:56:19more beautiful view

00:56:20in my life.

00:56:22Nor have I.

00:56:23Oh, yes, the

00:56:24magic's got to you.

00:56:26But it holds no

00:56:27charms for Richard.

00:56:29He wanted me to make

00:56:30the London flat my

00:56:31permanent base and fly

00:56:32out to Cyprus

00:56:32occasionally.

00:56:33I wasn't having any

00:56:34of that.

00:56:35Once I'd seen

00:56:35paradise, I wasn't

00:56:36going to settle for

00:56:37being there only six

00:56:38weeks a year.

00:56:39I had the cottage, I

00:56:41had a sports car, I

00:56:43had the sun and the

00:56:44grape and the olive.

00:56:46And I had friends.

00:56:47Some surprising

00:56:49friends, perhaps.

00:56:50But in that

00:56:51atmosphere, you get a

00:56:52different perspective

00:56:53on things.

00:56:54I was wondering

00:57:12which of you is

00:57:13Clifford Arundel.

00:57:15Someone said he was

00:57:16here.

00:57:17Did you say

00:57:18Clifford Arundel?

00:57:19Yes, Society and

00:57:20Fashion Photographer.

00:57:21They said he always

00:57:23wears a blazer.

00:57:24And there, now.

00:57:25And the chap in Cyprus

00:57:26always wears a blazer.

00:57:28The chap you're

00:57:29talking to.

00:57:29Blazer Pair.

00:57:33I see.

00:57:35They must have meant

00:57:36that you know Clifford

00:57:37Arundel.

00:57:38Look, um, have them?

00:57:40Oh, yes.

00:57:41At Mr. Arundel's

00:57:42studio in Richmond.

00:57:42Oh.

00:57:43Oh, it was a long

00:57:44time ago and you've

00:57:44obviously forgotten.

00:57:46But I haven't.

00:57:47I think I can help you.

00:57:48Believe I know where

00:57:49old Cliff hangs out

00:57:50these days.

00:57:50That's good.

00:57:52I have an urgent

00:57:52message for him.

00:57:53Well, look, why don't

00:57:54we have a drink?

00:57:55Over there.

00:57:56We can talk about

00:57:56Cliff a bit more

00:57:58privately.

00:57:58Oh.

00:57:59This charming young

00:58:01lady and I have a

00:58:02mutual friend.

00:58:03Oh.

00:58:03Oh, of course.

00:58:04Oh, of course.

00:58:05Oh, of course.

00:58:07Oh, no.

00:58:11Look, old love,

00:58:13I really don't

00:58:14remember you.

00:58:15I was 17 at the

00:58:16time.

00:58:17You got me very

00:58:18drunk in your

00:58:18studio and when I

00:58:19passed out, you

00:58:20stripped me and had

00:58:21your chums, Ken and

00:58:22Marie perform and

00:58:24you photographed what

00:58:25they were doing to

00:58:26me.

00:58:26I did.

00:58:27When I ran out of

00:58:28your studio, do you

00:58:29know what I did?

00:58:30I went home, I took a

00:58:32large bottle of aspirins

00:58:33and a bottle of

00:58:33sherry and I went

00:58:34down to the river and

00:58:35I tried to kill

00:58:36myself.

00:58:37What you'd done was

00:58:38the last filthy

00:58:39indignity in a year of

00:58:40indignities.

00:58:41You mean it, don't

00:58:42you?

00:58:43You know, I do

00:58:45remember something.

00:58:46The deer in

00:58:48Richmond Park.

00:58:48And your Hasselblad

00:58:50with all the

00:58:50fittings, yes.

00:58:52Good lord, good

00:58:53be lord.

00:58:54I had no idea you'd

00:58:56react so strongly to

00:58:58a bit of fun.

00:58:59Well, you must have

00:59:00been a little worried

00:59:01because you cleared

00:59:02out of that studio so

00:59:03fast that you forgot

00:59:05to pay the balance of

00:59:07the rent.

00:59:08What with that and

00:59:08your porno pictures and

00:59:10my go at suicide, the

00:59:12Richmond police still

00:59:13have an open file on

00:59:14Clifford Arundel?

00:59:16You have no proof.

00:59:17Not now.

00:59:19You're Edwin Blazer

00:59:20Povey, sometime flying

00:59:22officer, sometime con

00:59:23man, now engaged in a

00:59:24civilian capacity in

00:59:25public relations for the

00:59:27Ministry of Defence.

00:59:28And you're a year into a

00:59:29three-year tour at

00:59:30Episcopie.

00:59:31So?

00:59:32All I have to do is go

00:59:34to the air officer

00:59:35commanding RAF

00:59:36Episcopie and tell him

00:59:37my cane.

00:59:38And I wonder how long

00:59:39it'll be before the

00:59:40Ministry of Defence

00:59:41hands you over to the

00:59:42Richmond police.

00:59:43I'd like an uzo, please.

00:59:44You wouldn't do that,

00:59:45would you?

00:59:45I mean, it would do you

00:59:46no good at all.

00:59:48But it might dent my

00:59:49career, even though I'd

00:59:51certainly deny everything.

00:59:52Why shouldn't I?

00:59:53You almost destroyed me.

00:59:55If you were going to,

00:59:57you'd have been at

00:59:58Flagstaff House by now.

01:00:00You've done your

01:00:01homework and I'm

01:00:02impressed.

01:00:03So why didn't you take

01:00:04it today, Master?

01:00:05It depends on what

01:00:12reparations you're

01:00:14prepared to make.

01:00:16Now we're getting down

01:00:17to the knitting up.

01:00:19My husband is Richard

01:00:20Fricker.

01:00:20You know him?

01:00:21Richie Fricker?

01:00:22Yes.

01:00:24Heard he was married.

01:00:25Didn't know who to.

01:00:26Congratulations.

01:00:27Too late for those.

01:00:29He and I have come to the

01:00:29end of the line.

01:00:31He's going back to

01:00:32England to a permanent

01:00:33admin job.

01:00:33I want to stay out

01:00:35here.

01:00:36He's not prepared to

01:00:37maintain me out here.

01:00:39I have a cottage up the

01:00:41road and a sports car

01:00:42and I live rather well.

01:00:44I don't want my standards

01:00:46to drop because my

01:00:48husband doesn't understand

01:00:49me.

01:00:52So Blazer got his

01:00:53comeuppance.

01:00:54Well done.

01:00:55I thought he was a

01:00:56friend of yours.

01:00:57So he is, but you

01:00:57don't have to admire a

01:00:58person like him, do you?

01:01:00Blazer was always a bit

01:01:01of a scamp.

01:01:02I didn't think he'd

01:01:03actually stooped to

01:01:04pornography.

01:01:05But if it's any

01:01:06consolation, I'm sure he

01:01:07had no idea how

01:01:08horrifically you were

01:01:09going to react to his

01:01:09antics.

01:01:10There's no malice in the

01:01:11man.

01:01:11That's true.

01:01:12I'm afraid he is

01:01:13likeable.

01:01:15Oh, I had to drop my

01:01:16standards, of course.

01:01:17Blazer couldn't afford

01:01:18more than a three-room

01:01:19flat and an old

01:01:20banger for me.

01:01:21But I didn't really

01:01:22mind.

01:01:23I mean, how much time

01:01:24do you actually spend

01:01:25inside a house there?

01:01:26The life's all outside,

01:01:27isn't it?

01:01:28So Blazer did the

01:01:29right thing.

01:01:30What was nice about

01:01:31Blazer was that he

01:01:32didn't whine, not

01:01:33once.

01:01:34He'd been caught

01:01:35red-handed and he

01:01:36was prepared to pay

01:01:37up.

01:01:38We had some good

01:01:39times together.

01:01:40He was fun and he

01:01:42knew fun people and

01:01:43fun places.

01:01:44Yes, that's Blazer.

01:01:46Oh, did he ever

01:01:47mention his legacy?

01:01:48That legacy.

01:01:50One day, me darling,

01:01:51when the old fruit

01:01:52pops off and me

01:01:53legacy comes through,

01:01:53we'll really paint the

01:01:55island red.

01:01:55In a strange kind of

01:01:59way, I suppose I

01:02:00should be grateful to

01:02:01him.

01:02:02If he hadn't nearly

01:02:03pushed me into

01:02:04suicide, I'd be a

01:02:05secretary in a ball

01:02:06bearing factory in

01:02:07Twickenham.

01:02:07Hmm.

01:02:09But this odd idyll

01:02:10came to an end when

01:02:11the Turks invaded

01:02:12Cyprus.

01:02:13Oh, of course.

01:02:14Blazer was really

01:02:15rather heroic.

01:02:16I'd intended to stay

01:02:17on in Kyrenia and

01:02:18damn the Turks, but

01:02:19when the shelling

01:02:19began, Blazer snatched

01:02:20me from the battle

01:02:21zone and drove me

01:02:22hellful leather to

01:02:23Akrotiri.

01:02:23He pulled rank and

01:02:24got me on the last

01:02:25seat of a trooping

01:02:26flight to Bryce

01:02:26Norton.

01:02:27And from there?

01:02:28I could hardly

01:02:29throw myself on the

01:02:30mercy of the Ludlams

01:02:31this time, could I?

01:02:33So it was Richard.

01:02:34Where else?

01:02:36Did you expect me to

01:02:37be pleased to see you?

01:02:38I hoped you might be.

01:02:39Oh, for God's sake,

01:02:40Elaine.

01:02:41You've behaved

01:02:41selfishly and

01:02:42irresponsibly for two

01:02:43years.

01:02:44How did you expect

01:02:45me to feel when

01:02:45everyone in Cyprus

01:02:46knew you were

01:02:46Blazer bloody

01:02:47Povey's kept woman?

01:02:49Have you thought

01:02:49what it was like

01:02:50for me at work?

01:02:51Pity or sniggers?

01:02:52There was nothing

01:02:53to prevent you from

01:02:53finding some

01:02:54consolation yourself,

01:02:56was there?

01:02:56I didn't want...

01:02:57I wasn't brought up

01:02:58to live like that,

01:03:00racketing around.

01:03:01I was brought up

01:03:02to stand to my guns.

01:03:04We're still married,

01:03:05aren't we?

01:03:05Supposed to be.

01:03:06Do you want me back?

01:03:09If you have come back.

01:03:11Willingly, if the

01:03:11good life in Cyprus

01:03:12hadn't gone fat.

01:03:13No.

01:03:14Well then.

01:03:15Do you want a

01:03:16divorce?

01:03:16I want a decent

01:03:18way of life for the

01:03:19wife I can trust.

01:03:20Is that unreasonable?

01:03:21No, it isn't.

01:03:22Of course it isn't.

01:03:23You look exhausted.

01:03:26I am.

01:03:27But what's to be done?

01:03:28Richard, I don't know.

01:03:31What's happened to

01:03:31Blazer anyway?

01:03:32His tour finishes

01:03:33next month.

01:03:33And then what?

01:03:34London at the

01:03:35ministry.

01:03:35I see.

01:03:37So in fact, all you

01:03:38want is somewhere to lay

01:03:38your head free of charge

01:03:39till Blazer's open for

01:03:40business again in town?

01:03:41No.

01:03:42Why, I don't believe you.

01:03:43Cyprus is over.

01:03:45Blazer was part of

01:03:46something I very much

01:03:46enjoyed out there.

01:03:48But Blazer in a

01:03:49bowler and pinstripes

01:03:50and a flat in Chorley

01:03:50would.

01:03:51No, not for me.

01:03:52So I'm the court of

01:03:52last appeal.

01:03:53By default.

01:03:55I'm very tired.

01:03:56I don't want to argue

01:03:58with you.

01:03:58I don't want to argue

01:03:59either.

01:04:00But I think some kind

01:04:01of discussion's called

01:04:02for.

01:04:02I've done the wrong

01:04:03thing again and I'm

01:04:04sorry.

01:04:05I should never have

01:04:06come back here.

01:04:08Would you be prepared

01:04:08to rearrange your

01:04:11priorities?

01:04:12That sounds very

01:04:13technical.

01:04:13Let's not get smart.

01:04:16I realise you don't

01:04:17want to live in London

01:04:18but if there were

01:04:19somewhere, a really

01:04:21nice place in the

01:04:21country, would that

01:04:22appeal to you?

01:04:23In the country?

01:04:24A cottage in a pretty

01:04:26village on the South

01:04:26Downs.

01:04:27Another pipe dream?

01:04:28No.

01:04:28I have a particular

01:04:29place in mind.

01:04:30Tudor, beamed, low

01:04:32ceilings, Ingle Nook,

01:04:33an acre of garden and I

01:04:34can commute.

01:04:35With what I've saved,

01:04:36I'll only need a 25%

01:04:37mortgage.

01:04:38Honestly, Elaine, it's

01:04:39quite beautiful.

01:04:41Look.

01:04:43The estate agent's

01:04:44handout and a photograph

01:04:45of the property.

01:04:46Yes, it's lovely.

01:04:48It is lovely and you'd

01:04:49love the village.

01:04:50It really isn't

01:04:51stockbroker belt.

01:04:52It's 50 minutes to

01:04:53London by rail, far

01:04:54enough out to be

01:04:54rural.

01:04:56And what would I do

01:04:57out there?

01:04:57Oh, come on.

01:04:59Live a happy, normal

01:05:00life.

01:05:01Plenty of room for a

01:05:02dog and a cat.

01:05:03You could ride again.

01:05:04There's an excellent

01:05:05stables at the end of

01:05:05the village and it's

01:05:06good hunting country.

01:05:07And children.

01:05:08What?

01:05:08You'd want children.

01:05:10Well, doesn't

01:05:10everyone?

01:05:13Richard.

01:05:13Yes?

01:05:14Find another wife.

01:05:16Well, what are you

01:05:16talking about?

01:05:17Everything you've said

01:05:18sounds marvellous.

01:05:20For any girl but me.

01:05:21But how can you know

01:05:21until you...

01:05:23Saturday.

01:05:25I'll drive you out

01:05:26there.

01:05:26We can see the house,

01:05:28have lunch, take a walk,

01:05:29you'll love it.

01:05:29There's nothing the

01:05:30matter with your

01:05:31suggestion.

01:05:31There's nothing the

01:05:32matter with the place.

01:05:33I'm sure it's beautiful.

01:05:34There's nothing the

01:05:35matter with anything

01:05:35you've said.

01:05:37Except that it fills me

01:05:38with gloom and terror.

01:05:39What the hell do you

01:05:39mean?

01:05:40Are you sure you want

01:05:41to know?

01:05:41Elaine!

01:05:41All right.

01:05:43I would find it

01:05:44boring, boring, boring.

01:05:47I don't want to be a

01:05:49commuter's wife with two

01:05:50ideal children and two

01:05:51ideal pets in an ideal

01:05:52cottage in an ideal

01:05:53village, 50 ideal minutes

01:05:55from London.

01:05:56What would I do out

01:05:58there?

01:05:59And when you came

01:05:59home at 7.30 sharp

01:06:00and put on your

01:06:01slippers, what would

01:06:01we talk about?

01:06:03The golf club, the

01:06:04mother's union,

01:06:05gooseberry jam and

01:06:06flower arrangements and

01:06:07the vicar's little

01:06:08problems.

01:06:09How much the fees will

01:06:11be at Nigel's new

01:06:12school.

01:06:14What a bitch.

01:06:16What a neurotic,

01:06:17selfish, dissatisfied

01:06:19bitch.

01:06:20And I suppose I am to

01:06:22him.

01:06:24The story doesn't get

01:06:25any better, you know.

01:06:25I'm not a pre-Raphaelite

01:06:27heroine.

01:06:27I never thought you

01:06:28were.

01:06:29Oh dear, did you see

01:06:31through me from the

01:06:32beginning?

01:06:32I don't know that I

01:06:33ever tried to.

01:06:34You were never

01:06:35uppermost in my

01:06:35thoughts.

01:06:36How nice to find

01:06:37someone so disengaged.

01:06:39It must be.

01:06:41So what are you doing

01:06:41here?

01:06:42I need a breathing

01:06:43space for a week or

01:06:44two.

01:06:44Until Blazer comes

01:06:45back?

01:06:46I suppose so.

01:06:47Well, you know where

01:06:48the guest bedroom is?

01:06:49Dump your things there.

01:06:50You can stay till I say

01:06:51go, which won't be long.

01:06:53Aren't you being rather

01:06:54hard on me, Matthew?

01:06:55No harder than you've

01:06:56been on a number of

01:06:57people.

01:06:58It's like that, is it?

01:06:59Look, what have you been

01:07:00up to since you walked

01:07:01out on Richard?

01:07:02Oh, travelling?

01:07:04Why?

01:07:05Yesterday afternoon I

01:07:06received a telephone

01:07:06call from the

01:07:07Salisbury police.

01:07:08Oh, yes, yes, I'm on

01:07:09the telephone now.

01:07:11Asking me, in effect, to

01:07:12give you a favourable

01:07:13character reference.

01:07:15Annihilated Dennis Luglum

01:07:16was on the telephone.

01:07:16He'd had a similar

01:07:17request.

01:07:18So what's been going on?

01:07:19Oh, I'm sorry.

01:07:21I didn't really expect

01:07:22them to check, you know.

01:07:23I thought it was a

01:07:23matter of form.

01:07:24Oh, they checked.

01:07:26Why?

01:07:27Uh, well, when I left

01:07:30Richard, I decided to

01:07:31work my way west.

01:07:32Towards the Luglums or

01:07:33me?

01:07:33Oh, they were always

01:07:34reserve champions.

01:07:37I took a bus to Salisbury

01:07:39and decided to stay there

01:07:40for a few days.

01:07:41And before I realised it,

01:07:43I was out of cash.

01:07:45Which had come from

01:07:45whom?

01:07:46Richard gave me 50 quid.

01:07:48He felt it was cheap at

01:07:49the price to be rid of

01:07:50me.

01:07:51Anyway, I was out of

01:07:52make-up.

01:07:53And I wanted to look my

01:07:56best when I called on

01:07:57you.

01:07:58I went to a chemist's.

01:08:00Couldn't believe the

01:08:00prices of the make-up.

01:08:02And I seemed to have

01:08:03left without paying for

01:08:04what I took.

01:08:05Wasn't that forgetful.

01:08:06But they were on to

01:08:07you.

01:08:08It was only a matter of

01:08:09£9.58, a drop in the

01:08:10ocean.

01:08:10Not to a local chemist.

01:08:12Police, questions,

01:08:13statements, denials.

01:08:14It wasn't a bit amusing.

01:08:16And then the question of

01:08:17bail.

01:08:17Would you believe it?

01:08:18For £9.58, they wanted

01:08:19£75.

01:08:20Which you hadn't got.

01:08:21No.

01:08:23So, Mr. Clod took me

01:08:24round to the hotel and I

01:08:26managed to have five

01:08:27minutes' private

01:08:28conversation with the

01:08:28manager.

01:08:30He was very

01:08:30understanding.

01:08:31But on top of that,

01:08:33because I had no fixed

01:08:34abode, Mr. Clod wanted

01:08:35references.

01:08:37I could hardly give

01:08:37Richard, so I'm afraid it

01:08:39was you and poor

01:08:40Dennis Ludlam.

01:08:43When do you appear

01:08:44before the magistrate?

01:08:45The day after tomorrow.

01:08:47Since I'm an itinerant,

01:08:49Mr. Clod said he'd

01:08:50hurry me through, bless

01:08:52him.

01:08:54It's not very funny, is

01:08:56it?

01:08:56It's stupid and rather

01:08:57shabby.

01:08:57I knew I'd be in

01:08:58trouble.

01:08:58Oh, Elaine.

01:09:00I've known you for what

01:09:01seems an eternity.

01:09:02I'm prepared to make a few

01:09:04allowances, but I draw the

01:09:05line now.

01:09:07If you'll guarantee to stay

01:09:08here until Thursday, I'll

01:09:10drive you over to Salisbury

01:09:10myself and try to put in a

01:09:12good word for you to the

01:09:12magistrates.

01:09:13Now, is that on?

01:09:14I suppose it will have to

01:09:15be.

01:09:15All right.

01:09:17So take your things to the

01:09:18guest bedroom, have a bath,

01:09:19help yourself to drinks, and

01:09:20I'll be back within an hour.

01:09:22Where are you going?

01:09:22I tend to keep an empty

01:09:24larder.

01:09:24It'll have to be replenished.

01:09:25You can cook us a Greek

01:09:27dinner tonight, and we'll

01:09:28talk about Cyprus.

01:09:29So it's a fairer store,

01:09:30yachting philoxenia,

01:09:31sas?

01:09:32The whole polycaro

01:09:33nakaroa.

01:09:36Were you perhaps hoping

01:09:37for ultimate benefits?

01:09:39From a down-and-out?

01:09:41She's a very attractive bird.

01:09:43It makes a difference when

01:09:44you've known them since

01:09:44they came in wearing wet

01:09:45jodhpurs and a torn

01:09:47hairnet after a jimkana.

01:09:48Does it?

01:09:49I fancied her like hell,

01:09:51you know.

01:09:52And when I heard about her

01:09:53arrangement with Blazer,

01:09:54I was very jealous.

01:09:55Oh, this was after

01:09:58Audrey's death, of course.

01:10:00You saw her, you saw

01:10:02them regularly.

01:10:03Oh, not regularly, but

01:10:04quite often.

01:10:06Tiny's club, Famagusta

01:10:07mainly.

01:10:08Sometimes Blazer'd be

01:10:10after a Nordic blonde

01:10:12or a shady deal, and I'd be

01:10:13left very happily with

01:10:14Elaine.

01:10:16She could take her liquor,

01:10:17could that girl?

01:10:18She could take a lot of

01:10:19things, now you've come to

01:10:20mention it.

01:10:22At any rate, after our up-and-downer,

01:10:23I motored to Tisbury and

01:10:25bought all the makings for the

01:10:26Greek blowout and the

01:10:27delicatessen there.

01:10:28Then I called on Theo

01:10:30Edwardes.

01:10:31Theo?

01:10:31He had settled down at last.

01:10:33In a very pretty manor house.

01:10:34I'll take you there tomorrow.

01:10:35Anyway, I got some

01:10:37muzo and Retsina from Theo's

01:10:38private stock and came back

01:10:39here.

01:10:40The first thing I saw was

01:10:42her note.

01:10:44Aye, aye.

01:10:45And I had a presentiment of

01:10:46ill luck.

01:10:47Dear Matthew, I'm sorry about

01:10:48all this.

01:10:50I hope you'll understand

01:10:51someday.

01:10:52Much love, Elaine.

01:10:53I was put out, of course, but

01:10:55not extravagantly so.

01:10:57I began to think how lucky I

01:10:59was not to be landed with a

01:11:00spectacularly unfortunate girl.

01:11:03Though I'd quite look forward to

01:11:04dinner for two, but dinner for

01:11:06one twice would be perfectly

01:11:08agreeable.

01:11:08Then I went into the dining

01:11:10room.

01:11:11I'd been waiting for this.

01:11:13How I'd been waiting for this.

01:11:15It took me some time to

01:11:16realise what was strange

01:11:18about the place.

01:11:19Then I looked again at the

01:11:20sideboard and the dining

01:11:22table and I knew.

01:11:23Elaine?

01:11:24Pinched you silver?

01:11:26Must you sound so jocular?

01:11:28I was furious.

01:11:29Angry, hurt and bewildered to

01:11:31betray me like this.

01:11:32Did you report the theft?

01:11:34No.

01:11:35There you go.

01:11:36How soft.

01:11:37Well, would you have reported

01:11:38it?

01:11:38Given her circumstances?

01:11:39Of course I would.

01:11:40Well, I don't know.

01:11:42I really don't know.

01:11:43Oh, I raged around.

01:11:44I swore vengeance.

01:11:46I was on the point of calling the

01:11:47police a half a dozen times.

01:11:49But in the end, I didn't.

01:11:51It's obvious.

01:11:52You always had a soft spot for the

01:11:53girl.

01:11:54Well, that may be true.

01:11:56I'm not sure.

01:11:57Well, what I became sure of was the absence of value of things like silver ornaments.

01:12:05Yes, they were mine and she'd stolen them, but they were not articles I'd longed for and

01:12:11paid for myself.

01:12:12They were heirlooms.

01:12:14Things that have been around the family since I don't know when, but not specific to me.

01:12:19Now, if she'd stolen my notes and my manuscripts and here's Interpol on the instant, the table

01:12:26decorations is against a bruised and difficult life.

01:12:31Had I named her the theft together with her shoplifting and the jumping of bail, she'd have

01:12:35done time.

01:12:36No question of it.

01:12:37And I wasn't going to be responsible for that.

01:12:40So instead, she got away with it, scot-free.

01:12:42Well, I was still angry at her betrayal of trust, but this was a private thing.

01:12:47I wanted to know what use she could make of the silver and why.

01:12:51She's a sly, Bull.

01:12:53She really is.

01:12:54She admitted absolutely nothing in that dear job note she left you.

01:12:57Well, I imagine she'd had enough of lawyers after her father's disaster to be wary of putting

01:13:01anything significant down on paper.

01:13:03You're still making feeble excuses for criminal behavior.

01:13:05Oh, all right.

01:13:06Yes, why not?

01:13:06Well, I haven't suffered as she suffers.

01:13:09So suffering's a sufficient excuse for larceny.

01:13:12Well, Neville, you've met the girl.

01:13:14You've confessed to an admiration for her.

01:13:16You know what she's like.

01:13:18Now, would you have put a spoke in her wheel?

01:13:20You're going to tell me next you never slept with her.

01:13:24I didn't.

01:13:25But I did.

01:13:27Lock in blazes time, she was the town bicycle of Kyrenia.

01:13:32I don't believe it.

01:13:34Suit yourself.

01:13:35Well, and you want to go buy her a few drinks and share her a good time and way.

01:13:40Well, this is locker room braggadocio, and I don't believe it.

01:13:43She may have been desperate, but she was never promiscuous.

01:13:44All right.

01:13:45Suit yourself.

01:13:46Oh, do shut up.

01:13:47Now, we've been friends for 30 years.

01:13:48There's no need to lie to me.

01:13:49I'll accept that Elaine's a thief, a chancer, a failed suicide, my homewrecker.

01:13:53What I'm not prepared to accept is that she's a whore.

01:13:54You keep going your way and I'll keep going my way.

01:13:56Well, what kind of answer is that?

01:13:58I mean it, Matt.

01:14:00You're on dangerous ground.

01:14:01You look on that girl as a daughter and a mistress.

01:14:04That can't be healthy.

01:14:04You're deliberately misreading the relationship.

01:14:06Oh, no, I'm not.

01:14:07Well, I want this clarification.

01:14:08That's something you're just evading.

01:14:09I'm not evading anything.

01:14:13I haven't reached the final chapter yet.

01:14:16Oh, I see.

01:14:17I'm all ears.

01:14:19Right, then.

01:14:19About four years after the incident of the stone silver, it would be a Saturday in Trinity

01:14:26and I was still in residence.

01:14:27I drove out to Woodstock.

01:14:30An auction of the contents of some old family home would be advertised.

01:14:33I'd bought a catalogue and had a couple of things I was interested in.

01:14:37The auction took place in what must have been the drawing room.

01:14:40It was large and it was packed.

01:14:43I suppose most of the people, though, were dealers, but there were a few obvious punters like me.

01:14:47Now, what I was really after was a bust of Jonathan Swift.

01:14:50Bit out of your bailiwick, isn't he?

01:14:53I'll call it impulse.

01:14:55Anyway, the bidding began and after a short time there were only two people left in the running myself

01:15:00and a woman I was unable to see because of the crush in the room and all the furniture.

01:15:06She took me far past what I'd originally set as my limit and then she dropped out.

01:15:11The bust was mine.

01:15:12Shortly afterwards, when most of the good lots had gone, quite a few people left

01:15:19and I was able to see my erstwhile competitor.

01:15:23It was Elaine.

01:15:25You could knock me down with a feather.

01:15:28Well, I called her outside in the drive.

01:15:31She was neither flustered nor embarrassed.

01:15:33She was looking rather beautiful and very composed.

01:15:35She said that the meeting called for a celebration.

01:15:38Would you believe it?

01:15:39She was staying at the Bear in Woodstock and would I meet her there for dinner.

01:15:43You didn't fall for that one.

01:15:46Well, I wanted some assurance that she'd turn up.

01:15:49She smiled, little wryly, and told me she could hardly blame me.

01:15:55Then she took off her wrist a very expensive and beautifully designed antique gold bracelet.

01:15:59There, Matthew, she said, if I'm not in the bar by 7.30, you can keep that.

01:16:06Didn't I say she was sly?

01:16:07But would she be there?

01:16:09Was it really antique and gold and very expensive?

01:16:13I'm a scholar, Neville.

01:16:14I like to get the facts right.

01:16:16Then she was there.

01:16:18She was there and she'd arranged things with style.

01:16:22A bottle of good champagne waiting for us on ice in a discreet corner of the room.

01:16:26Well, Matthew, it's lovely to see you again.

01:16:35Are you sure?

01:16:37You're my oldest friend.

01:16:40What about the Ludlams?

01:16:42My oldest adult friend.

01:16:44Oh, you're back on form again.

01:16:46Things have been much worse.

01:16:48Yes.

01:16:50Where is the life that late I led, say they?

01:16:53Why, here it is.

01:16:54Let's welcome these pleasant days.

01:16:58One of the ancient Greeks?

01:17:00No, the ancient pistol.

01:17:02You always were too clever for me.

01:17:04Rubbish.

01:17:07I like your choice of champagne.

01:17:11Now, what's become of my silver?

01:17:16And if you say you're glad I asked you, then I'll knock your head off.

01:17:19I was desperate when I took it.

01:17:23Oh, yes?

01:17:24I'd had everything once and we lost it when Daddy crashed.

01:17:27I thought I had everything again in Cyprus until the invasion.

01:17:31Then I lost out a second time.

01:17:33It's not very funny to lose everything twice within eight years.

01:17:36Well, I realise that, being your oldest adult friend.

01:17:40Otherwise, the police would have been on your back double quick.

01:17:44But why didn't you ask me for help?

01:17:46I didn't give you money.

01:17:47I was too ashamed to ask for money.

01:17:49But not too ashamed to steal from a friend.

01:17:52What kind of chop logic is that?

01:17:53You don't think logically when you're in the mess I was in.

01:17:56But you knew that I cared for you.

01:17:59Or at least cared about you.

01:18:00But you've never wanted me, have you?

01:18:05How do you know?

01:18:06Things like that you just know.

01:18:10I see.

01:18:11If you'd wanted me, instead of regarding me as a tiresome social interlude,

01:18:17then I'd have asked, oh, anything.

01:18:19Oh, you would.

01:18:20I know nature's bachelors when I see them.

01:18:23You're one.

01:18:24And I realised too late that Richard was another.

01:18:26You presume a great deal more knowledge of the world than your experience gives you any right to.

01:18:31You could never stand the disorderliness of a male-female relationship.

01:18:37You've had life on your own terms all your life.

01:18:41And anyway, I'm too young for you, and I always would be.

01:18:44And you know what I mean by young.

01:18:46Well, I can see you're having a heyday with some fantasy of your own.

01:18:50And I still want to know about my silver.

01:18:52A few.

01:18:52If I'd accepted money from you, and the nice Greek dinner,

01:18:59you'd have insisted on my going through with the magistrate's trial,

01:19:01and everything about me would have come out.

01:19:03I couldn't stand the idea of that.

01:19:05A nice, dishonest blazer would have been far more welcome.

01:19:10I'm sorry.

01:19:12I went back to London.

01:19:13Where else could I go?

01:19:15Richard, poor love, very generously gave me a small allowance.

01:19:19I took a tiny flat in Pimlico.

01:19:21And thankfully, by all kinds of jiggery-pokery that you'd rather not hear,

01:19:27I managed to get a store in Petticoat Lane.

01:19:30With my centrepiece of silver to dazzle the customer?

01:19:33It did make me look very upmarket.

01:19:35But I didn't sell the pieces, not for ages.

01:19:38And when I did, the proceeds went to a sharp solicitor

01:19:40who managed to extract a once-for-all cash settlement from Richard

01:19:44in return for a tidy divorce.

01:19:47With that, I began to build up my business.

01:19:49Then Blazer turned up.

01:19:53Absolutely on cue.

01:19:55Matthew, old lad, it's been too long between drinks.

01:19:58Blazer, I haven't seen.

01:20:00Well, the chap allowed some of the celebration, Bob.

01:20:03Yes, now me.

01:20:06Cheers.

01:20:06Well, Matt, don't you agree my wife looks absolutely radiant?

01:20:16Your wife?

01:20:18Well, we hadn't got as far as that.

01:20:20When did all this happen?

01:20:21After the legacy.

01:20:23After the legacy.

01:20:23The legacy.

01:20:25There really was a legacy.

01:20:26You chaps would never take it seriously, would you?

01:20:30Well, can you blame me?

01:20:31Actually, no.

01:20:33There it was.

01:20:35Larger than even I could have expected.

01:20:37The doctor set up yours truly and the little lady on relatively easy street.

01:20:43This beats the band.

01:20:44It really does.

01:20:45Doesn't it, though?

01:20:46So now Elaine has her camp little business in Wigmore Street

01:20:49and young Blazer's at last indulging his lifelong interest in politics.

01:20:55Politics?

01:20:56Oh, Blazer, you've gone right over the top.

01:20:58You don't understand.

01:21:00Blazer can be very persistent once he puts his mind to it.

01:21:03He's been offered a very safe seat in a North London constituency

01:21:06and you should see him with his party workers.

01:21:09I can't entirely believe it myself.

01:21:12What party would that be, Blazer?

01:21:13Oh, Labour every time, all that.

01:21:14Didn't you spot the red tie?

01:21:16You have been adopted by the Labour Party as official candidate.

01:21:19Labour?

01:21:20Well, of course.

01:21:21I've been down and out of that.

01:21:24I've seen life at the bottom and from the bottom.

01:21:27Well, she meant the local agent was more than a priestess

01:21:30when I socked him with a substantial contribution to party workers.

01:21:35Here was a chap prepared to back what he believed.

01:21:38Oh, my God.

01:21:40And I'll tell you this, old squire.

01:21:41If I'm not in Westminster after the next election,

01:21:43I'll give all I have to the poor.

01:21:47Pardon from our parent in Barbados.

01:21:49So you're sitting pretty.

01:21:51I'm delighted.

01:21:52That voice means the exact opposite.

01:21:55Well, I was wondering how much the sale of my silver realised.

01:21:58And why neither of you saw fit post-legacy

01:22:00to reimburse me for my involuntary contribution to the Povey Fund.

01:22:04Do you know, old lad, it simply slipped our memories.

01:22:11Good Lord, of course you must have real investments.

01:22:14But the silver, gone forever.

01:22:17I'm afraid, sir.

01:22:19Well, never mind.

01:22:20I hope the lucky owner's deriving the same pleasure from it

01:22:22that the Forgans did for five or six generations.

01:22:26You've taken this jolly sporting amount.

01:22:29But I must insist on giving you a check.

01:22:31No, I have a much better idea.

01:22:34I have in my possession an extremely valuable gold bracelet,

01:22:38which I'm sure was worth a good deal to you.

01:22:41Yes, I was just going to ask for it.

01:22:42And I promise you this.

01:22:43Thanks.

01:22:45If Fraser does succeed in topping the pole,

01:22:47we'll both have the satisfaction of knowing

01:22:49that I'll be celebrating his victory

01:22:51by selling the bracelet

01:22:52and giving all the proceeds to the poor.

01:22:59They really are an extraordinary couple of people.

01:23:02But do you believe this marriage will last?

01:23:05Oh, I think so.

01:23:06They suit each other perfectly.

01:23:09Blazer was always immoral.

01:23:11Elaine's early misadventures have made her amoral.

01:23:14They not only suit each other, they deserve each other.

01:23:16What I can't get over is Blazer embracing the labour cause

01:23:21of all the cynical self-seekers.

01:23:24Well, as we both know all too well,

01:23:26when Blazer sets his mind to a caper,

01:23:28he's very thorough about it.

01:23:29Now he has money, he's looking for power.

01:23:32No, I'm sure he doesn't give a damn

01:23:33which political party he hitches his wagon to.

01:23:35He's capable of crossing the floor a dozen times

01:23:38with all the charm in the world

01:23:39and of getting away with it.

01:23:41Hmm.

01:23:43Well, now you've run them to earth,

01:23:45will you make any attempt to keep up with them?

01:23:47Well, there'll be no need for that.

01:23:49Because I'm certain our paths are too crossed by now

01:23:52to separate completely.

01:23:55In two years or five,

01:23:56there'll be a telephone call or a knock at the door

01:23:58and I'll be into a whole new imbroglio.

01:24:02Oh, really?

01:24:03I'd have thought you'd be glad to wash your hands of them.

01:24:06Well, as a matter of fact,

01:24:10I find it all rather refreshing.

01:24:15I lead a pretty sedentary life.

01:24:18Or we shall.

01:24:20Shielded indeed from virtually everything I dislike

01:24:22or find tedious.

01:24:24People like us sit on the sidelines

01:24:26and we watch the varying fortunes

01:24:28of the players.

01:24:30Then something happens to connect us with the players.

01:24:32A ball within our reach.

01:24:35Smile across the grass.

01:24:37And we're involved.

01:24:39There's no escaping that involvement.

01:24:42We're dragged in on the game,

01:24:43for better or worse.

01:24:44Hmm.

01:24:45In Elaine's game.

01:24:47Certainly for worse.

01:24:48Oh, yes.

01:24:50You see, that day outside the auction,

01:24:51what really angered me

01:24:52was Elaine's two-fold insolence.

01:24:54The first, that despite falling on her financial feet,

01:24:57she made no attempt to repay me

01:24:58for the silver she pinched.

01:25:00And second,

01:25:01that gesture of handing me something enormously expensive

01:25:04just to prove she was in the money

01:25:06and to indicate I'm certain

01:25:07that she knew

01:25:08her good old reliable Dobbin Forgan

01:25:10was not a man to live out with her property.

01:25:12So,

01:25:13I wanted to give her something to think about

01:25:16every time she dresses.

01:25:18There's a missing piece from her private collection.

01:25:21And there it is.

01:25:25Pretty little bauble, isn't it?

01:25:27It's magnificent.

01:25:30Must be worth a fortune.

01:25:32Are you really going to keep it?

01:25:34I shall carry out my promise.

01:25:36If Blazer becomes a Member of Parliament,

01:25:38that bracelet will be sold

01:25:40and the proceeds will go to a sound charity.

01:25:42But if he fails to get the seat?

01:25:45Well then,

01:25:46I shall give the proceeds to the Conservative Party.

01:25:48In Blazer's name, of course.

01:26:07In Welcome These Pleasant Days

01:26:10by Michael Robson,

01:26:11Elizabeth Proud played Elaine,

01:26:14Nigel Antony Forgan

01:26:15and Ian Hogg, Dimmock.

01:26:18Dennis Ludlam was John Westbrook,

01:26:21Kate Peggy-Ann Wood,

01:26:23Wilfred Birmingham, Peter Woodthorpe

01:26:25and Angela Birmingham, Constance Chapman.

01:26:29Blazer Povey was Norman Bowler,

01:26:31Daphne Jo Anderson,

01:26:33Susan Angela Phillips

01:26:35and Richard Cornelius Garrett.

01:26:39Welcome These Pleasant Days

01:26:41was directed from Bristol

01:26:42by Sean McLaughlin.

01:26:44The End of the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week in the Week

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