Son remembers father killed in 9 11 attacks

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Robert Sliwak was killed when the first plane struck the top floors of the north tower of the World Trade Center. Ryan Sliwak, the son of Robert Sliwak, shares more on his father’s legacy.  –––  Subscribe to ABC News on YouTube: https://abcnews.visitlink.me/59aJ1G  ABC News is your daily source of breaking national and world news, exclusive interviews and 24/7 live streaming coverage.  Download the ABC News app for the latest headlines and alerts: https://abcnews.go.com/devices  Watch 24/7 coverage of breaking news and live events on ABC News Live:    • LIVE: Latest News Headlines and Events l A...     Watch full episodes of World News Tonight with David Muir here:    • ABC World News Tonight with David Muir Ful...     Read ABC News reports online: http://abcnews.go.com  ABC News is the home to the #1 evening newscast “World News Tonight with David Muir," “Good Morning America,” “20/20,” “Nightline,” “This Week” with George Stephanopoulos, “ABC News Live Prime” with Linsey Davis, plus the daily news podcast “Start Here.”

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00:00Today we remember and memorialize the lives that we lost in that terror attack on September 11th.

00:12It's been 24 years since nearly 3,000 people in the unimaginable act of violence took place.

00:19The deadliest terrorist attacks in American history led to massive casualties in New York City

00:23and the Pentagon in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

00:27Robert Sleewak was known for his easygoing nature, humor, athletic ability,

00:32and on 9-11, at 42 years old, Robert showed up for work as a bondbroker at Cantor Fitzgerald

00:39and was killed when the first plane struck the top floors of the North Tower there at the World Trade Center.

00:46Tragically, he left behind his wife and three children who were forced to learn to live a life without their husband and their dad.

00:54Ryan Sleewak, the son of Robert Sleewak, joins me now for more on his father's legacy.

01:01Ryan, good to see you.

01:02You were only 18 years old on September 11th.

01:06Eight years old, rather.

01:08Eight years old.

01:09What do you remember about that day?

01:10Thank you very much for having me.

01:14Yeah, it was seven at the time.

01:16I actually turned eight four days later on the 15th.

01:19I remember the entirety of the day for the most part.

01:22I remember my mom got the phone call and I was walking out of our front door,

01:25heading to elementary school.

01:26And from there, I remember she sent us elementary school.

01:29And then the next couple of days were a little bit hazy.

01:32I don't remember, per se, exactly what had gone on.

01:34I just remember people being in and out of the house.

01:36And my mom wanted me to have one more birthday where this wasn't looming over it completely.

01:41So she had sat down, me and my brother and sister,

01:44in a preserve near our home on the 16th and let us know that our dad had passed and he wasn't coming home.

01:49Wow, I can see.

01:51I can actually see your dad and you as I'm looking at these pictures and looking at you now.

01:56You know, it's been 24 years since you've been able to see your dad.

02:01What do you remember about him?

02:03I mean, we had a really close relationship, even though I was only seven.

02:09I can remember sitting by the back door, waiting with my glove to have a catch with him.

02:14I just, I mean, overall, if I didn't encompass it completely,

02:16it was just I remember how much he loved being a dad.

02:20Sorry.

02:21It's okay.

02:24It's all right.

02:27But yeah, that part of him the most and just how much he loved being around people altogether.

02:31But being a dad.

02:34What a blessing that you have those memories.

02:37You know, there were babies born, Ryan.

02:40There were kids one, two, three years old that only have pictures.

02:44I mean, how lucky for you to have actual memories and looking at these pictures of you guys together

02:49as a family and in the pool.

02:51And I know that that short-lived relationship has continued to impact you

02:59because it has shaped you as a person clearly.

03:04Tell me how what had happened, that loss, how it impacts what you do today.

03:14Oh, yeah.

03:17It's been instrumental.

03:18I think one of the things for me growing up, when you go through tragedy,

03:22I don't think you need any more meaning of life.

03:24I think you have plenty of meaning.

03:25What you need to figure out is what I do with all of it.

03:28What kind of purpose do I have with this?

03:30And I think for me, growing up, I definitely felt that meaning.

03:33And it drove me for you to do a lot of different multitude of things.

03:36But ultimately, I think where I ended up was in the mental health field, working in psychology.

03:43I had done my research and finished up my doctorate and did my dissertation,

03:47looking at the experiences of children who lost a parent on 9-11.

03:50And from there, I specialize in PTSD treatment and assessment.

03:54And I'm currently a clinician at a clinic in Boston,

03:58working with special operators community doing brain health evaluations

04:00and PTSD treatment and assessment within that population as well.

04:04And I feel considerably fortunate to get to work with this population overall.

04:11I feel like I owe them in some capacity because of 9-11.

04:15So it's super rewarding coming in here every day.

04:18I don't consider it work at all in the slightest bit.

04:21What a gift for you.

04:23And what a gift for those that you sit down and you work with.

04:27I'm curious, when you're in a counseling session, how often does it come up?

04:33And when you do talk about losing your father on 9-11,

04:38do you see just a change in the session with whomever it is you're counseling?

04:48It comes up pretty frequent in terms of either they've enlisted because of 9-11

04:53and they were deployed because of what had occurred on 9-11.

04:56And I think as we move further and further away from it, some of that meaning gets lost.

05:01I never actually verbalized directly that I lost a parent on 9-11.

05:06I kind of keep that to myself throughout my clinical work, but I try to figure out ways.

05:09How do I use that felt sense of what that's like to further deepen our connection

05:13and deepen some of the work together?

05:15And I think that's translated quite nicely within a lot of clinical work

05:18and the relationships that I've been able to facilitate with them while they're in here.

05:23It's an intensive two-week program, so they come in for two weeks.

05:25They get treatment all day, every day.

05:27And I see them for two weeks straight, so it's a really quick turnaround also.

05:31But for me, it's felt like I've had a really better sense of understanding,

05:34that felt sense of understanding, just bringing that into the room.

05:37It hasn't necessarily been something that needs to be verbalized,

05:40but that felt sense of connection that can take place because of it.

05:42And as you start your own family, how do you make you sure that your dad is still a part of it?

05:49Yeah, absolutely.

05:50I think that's been part of the grief journey overall.

05:53I think when you lose someone, especially in this capacity,

05:55there's that kind of motivation.

05:57Grief feels like a motivational state.

05:59And I think as I've been developing and growing and moving through various stages of life,

06:03it's almost giving myself permission to start to let go of some of those parts

06:06so I can bring him forward with me in a different capacity.

06:09Meaning as I develop and change our relationship, but it changes well,

06:14and what would that start to look like?

06:15I think it's easy to stay in that motivational state,

06:18and it feels like you're stuck in the past in some capacity.

06:20So giving yourself that grace and permission to start to let go

06:23so you can transfigure that relationship with him.

06:26I mean, even on days like today, being in Boston, for example,

06:29I'm from Long Island originally,

06:30but I always try to imagine what it would be like to go to a game to Fenway with him,

06:35which I know we used to go to Met games growing up.

06:37It's just what would the relationship now look like as I continue to grow and develop?

06:41And how would it probably more than likely shifted

06:43from more of a father-son relationship to friendship?

06:46You have definitely extended yourself a lot of grace.

06:49Thank you so much, Ryan, just for talking about your dad

06:52and also what you're doing now to keep his memory alive within your own family

06:57and with all those special patients that you see on a regular basis.

07:00You definitely have a gift.

07:02Thank you so much, Ryan, for your time.

07:04Thank you very much for having me on here.

07:06I appreciate it.

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