00:00Who is Eugene?
00:22Eugene is a broken hearted brother that made a promise to keep his brother's memory alive.
00:32Everything is called Michael's legacy, Michael's journey.
00:35Everything I do I'm leaving a little bit of Michael in everyone's lives that I hopefully help and touch.
00:42The 30th of May 2015, everything did change and life is very different now.
00:50Ten years this year and still quite often it doesn't even feel like ten days.
00:57He was just a wonderful human being.
01:00And I do believe the world should know who he was and who he is through me and through my family.
01:08I've said a few times this ten years has been ten years of triumph and trauma.
01:13It took me a long time to accept that Michael was dead.
01:23I sort of pushed my grief to the back of my mind.
01:28Because there was a police case, I felt I had to focus on that because who was going to speak for Michael if not me?
01:40You get a signed homicide victim support and you get a family liaison officer.
01:46When the trial is over, they disappear.
01:51And you are just left.
01:54And I just thought, I wonder if there is anybody out there for people.
01:59And I just typed into Google support after murder and Sam came up.
02:05I'm Jo Early. I'm the chief exec of Sam National.
02:08And that stands for support after murder and manslaughter.
02:12We're a national charity and we support people when there's been a homicide in the family.
02:17And all our services are unique in the sense that they are peer led.
02:23So we provide peer support services.
02:25What that means is all our services are, the support that we provide is by someone who is bereaved themselves.
02:34So you can talk to somebody who's walked down that very similar path that you've been.
02:39And we've got a large team of volunteers that are all bereaved themselves.
02:44I couldn't see how anybody could change or take away how I was feeling and how hurt I was.
02:52Because I had to find a way to, again, channel those thoughts, feelings and emotions in a positive way and not in the bottom of a bottle.
03:02And it took a while.
03:04You know, I've said to people before, I can't remember the penny dropping moment.
03:07But I know I was stood in my mum's kitchen.
03:10And it was, what are you doing?
03:13What are you doing?
03:15And I knew how much I was drinking.
03:17I was just blinkered and in denial to the dangers of how much and the impact it was having on the people that loved me.
03:26And it was in that moment that I knew that I had to make that phone call to Sam National, yeah.
03:33It always stays with you.
03:35It's just about how you learn to cope and kind of walk alongside what's happened and just, I wouldn't say carry it around, but you learn how to cope with it because it's always there.
03:47And so that's what we talk a lot about, Sam.
03:50How can you cope with this, you know, story that you have with this terrible thing that's happened?
03:54You know, how can you function to the point where it becomes your new normal?
04:00Because life, as you know, it has changed forever.
04:03So you look at it in terms of, well, this is so different now.
04:07It's a new normal.
04:09I know I wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for Sam because I couldn't cope.
04:18How do I live my life, the rest of my life, without one of my children?
04:25Michael's my oldest child.
04:27He'd make me a mum.
04:28He'd make me a grandma.
04:30How do I live without him then?
04:34And it's a struggle.
04:37He'd only just found out he was going to be a father for the third time.
04:41So Michael Jr. has never heard his father's voice ever.
04:46And he only knows the stories that I tell him when I go and see him.
04:51Deep sadness never goes.
04:54Not for me.
04:55It's always, always there.
04:58I think Eugene is one of the most inspirational people I've come across in this community of bereaved people.
05:07To go from how Eugene was all those years ago and how he was so badly affected by his brother's death,
05:15to be able to function again and do all of this fundraising and become an inspiration to others and support others is absolutely incredible.
05:27And Helen's exactly the same, you know, to go through all the challenges both of them have gone through,
05:33to then give back so much to others and think about others is, as I said, it's truly inspirational.
05:41They're two really, really inspirational people.
05:46Everyone that's involved in the charity had someone taken by homicide, murder or manslaughter.
05:54So they, you know, they've got a genuine understanding of, you know, what we go through.
05:59You know, there's telephone support.
06:01There's retreats that they run.
06:04You know, because of all the support and they've always shown me, I wanted to, you know, give something back to them,
06:11try and raise their profile, try and raise some money for them as well.
06:15I can't remember if it's the 13th or 14th charity raising event I've taken on.
06:20You know, it's varied, like I said, from the Three Peaks.
06:22I've cycled from Haylin to Crewe where the sound retreat is in two days.
06:27I cycled from Landshed to John O'Groats for the Rowan's Hospice.
06:31Cycled from Preston to London for a lady that has a rare form of cancer.
06:35I've done a bike ride for Combat Stress.
06:40I've done a walk for Alzheimer's.
06:43I've done a cycle ride for Alice's Ark.
06:46British Lung Foundation, Snowdon by Night.
06:49Yeah.
06:50So there's been, you know, a fair few of these I've taken on.
06:54Being 10 years this year and it being one of those apparent milestones,
06:58I wanted to do something big for Michael, in Michael's memory.
07:02And again, to raise money and awareness to Sam National.
07:06Did they come much bigger than Everest Base Camp?
07:09Probably not.
07:10So yeah, that's what I've opted to do.
07:14So Eugene has been a member of Sam for many, many years
07:17and he's done some incredible fundraising events for us.
07:20And I think this is one of his biggest challenges.
07:23And by far it's, yeah, I would say it's an amazing challenge to be able to do.
07:31We're 150% behind him.
07:34We're honoured, we feel privileged that he wants to do this for Sam.
07:38Because ultimately the money raised will be for, you know,
07:41our services and supporting Sam members.
07:43So we feel really honoured and privileged that he's chosen us again to raise money.
07:48I know it's hard.
07:49It's really hard because he's keeping Michael's memory alive, which is lovely.
07:53Michael will be so proud of him, proud of everything he's done.
07:57He'll be looking down there with a big smile on his face.
08:00I don't want people to feel alone in their trauma.
08:03I don't want people to feel alone in their mental health.
08:05I don't want people to feel alienated and isolated.
08:09And I'm not suggesting for a moment that anybody should go out and take on anything I have done.
08:15But if it can give them the hope just to get up, get dressed, have a shower, wash their hair and go to the shop.
08:23And if that's the best thing they can do that day, then that's a good thing.
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