- 2 months ago
Celebs Go Dating S14E18 (2025)
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00:00Tonight!
00:01Your dipsis has swollen to three times the size.
00:05There's cutting questions.
00:07Have you discussed money?
00:09That makes me uncomfortable.
00:10And awkward answers.
00:12Have you enjoyed any of your dates?
00:14No.
00:15As our celebs?
00:16They want me to ask, what are your intentions?
00:18And I'm going, are you my dad?
00:20No!
00:21I would love to go for that drink with you again.
00:23I feel like I'm begging.
00:25Dating!
00:26Can you put your legs behind your head?
00:28Uh, later.
00:29Later?
00:30Later?
00:44Welcome to Celebs Go Dating, where our agency finale gala
00:48is bearing down on us like Will Smith at the Oscars.
00:52Hello!
00:54And ready to slap our celebs into shape are our experts of enchantment,
00:58who are already in the bloody office, for once.
01:01Who do we have in today?
01:03Oh, so we've got Kerry and Paolo and Donna and Sam.
01:07So, actually, I better be off.
01:09Busy.
01:10Busy all day.
01:11Because the first batch aren't far off.
01:13Wow, look at that.
01:14Look at that.
01:15Look at that.
01:16Thank you, T.
01:17Thanks, babe.
01:18Bye.
01:19Our time with the celebrities is coming to a close, so they do need to start deciding who,
01:23if anybody, they will be bringing with them to the gala.
01:26Some of them already know, which is why we have Kerry and Paolo coming in to see us today.
01:31Did any of us think we'd be at the point in this agency where Kerry was coming in with a partner?
01:38I actually had a tenor on her and the Beast hooking up.
01:41Kerry has a boyfriend.
01:43Kerry has a boyfriend.
01:44I was in the session when Kerry was first introduced to Paolo.
01:49And I saw how she handled that.
01:52And I think that she needs to be reminded of where she started.
01:55Yeah.
01:56So I'd love to be able to jump in.
01:57I want to know that they have the tools for long-term relationships.
02:00Absolutely.
02:01Girl, I'm about to have a panic attack.
02:05Well, you better get moving, cos here they are.
02:08Looking like they've just got married or been to the small claims court.
02:11It's Kerry and Paolo.
02:14Oh.
02:15Hello, celebrity dating agency.
02:17Hi, it's Kerry and Paolo.
02:19Oh, the two of you.
02:22Come in, dude.
02:23Oh, oh, oh.
02:24Am I ready?
02:25Know the same adult.
02:27Am I ready?
02:28I want you love to be loved.
02:33Oh, look at you both.
02:36Oh, oh.
02:38I'm in a group home.
02:40Hello, hello.
02:43I'm overflowing with excitement.
02:46Seeing Kerry and her new squeeze Paolo makes me bubble up inside.
02:50In fact, I might uncork a dose of my effervescence.
02:54Don't worry, guys.
02:55There's a dry cleaners around the corner.
02:57You have a fan club here, practically.
02:59Oh, really?
03:00Oh, yes.
03:01It's nice, isn't it?
03:02Nice, isn't it?
03:03Oh.
03:04Look at you both.
03:05Oh, gosh.
03:07I'm cock a hoop.
03:09I really am.
03:11You'll cock her anything.
03:12So are those three bathed in Tom's effervescence?
03:15Across town, the only thing S Club John and his hot hairdresser Jordan have been bathing in is each other's love.
03:23And maybe a hot tub.
03:25Ever since locking lips on their first date, they've been inseparable.
03:29And officially tied each other down at the brunch.
03:32I'm only, like, a one-person guy, and Jordan said the same.
03:36So officially off the market, yeah, so...
03:38Wow!
03:39Oh, my God!
03:41But shit is about to get real for these two lovebirds as someone very excited is about to join this S Club party.
03:48It's only bloody S Club Joe.
03:50Joe!
03:51I'm really excited for Joe to meet Jordan today.
03:53Joe is my best mate.
03:54I've known her for 28 years.
03:56So, yeah, I can't wait for her to meet Jordan.
03:58I know that she's, like, a big sister to John, so...
04:01He really, really does genuinely love Joe to bits.
04:05So, yeah, obviously I do want to make a good impression on her.
04:08Maybe I'll give her a free ur-do.
04:10I don't know.
04:11Fix that fringe of hers.
04:13Maybe don't leave with that.
04:15I am going to say I'm a little bit nervous, to be honest.
04:17Why?
04:18I don't know.
04:19It's your mate, so...
04:20Joe's just like me in a better wig.
04:22Seriously, that's it.
04:24Hopefully we'll have a good time.
04:26You will do.
04:27You will do.
04:28Well, let's find out, shall we?
04:29Here she comes.
04:31Some proper pop royalty.
04:33It's S Club Joe.
04:35With John being my best mate, I definitely need to know what his intentions are,
04:39because he's not going to go around hurting my boy, that's for sure.
04:42First rule of S Club, don't mess with S Club.
04:45Good luck, Jordan.
04:46Oh, here she comes.
04:49I'm coming.
04:50Pink lady.
04:51You are mate.
04:52Pink lady today.
04:53You look gorgeous.
04:54You look lovely.
04:55Look at us in the summers.
04:56You are mate.
04:57Yeah.
04:58Hello.
04:59This is Jordan.
05:00Nice to meet you.
05:01How are you doing?
05:02I'm really good.
05:04So do you.
05:05Thanks.
05:06Oh, let's get into it.
05:07I didn't know what you wanted, so I just got your usual.
05:09Oh, slippery nipple with extra nipple.
05:11Delicious.
05:12Oh, thank you so much.
05:14Mate.
05:16Cheers, everyone.
05:17Cheers, guys.
05:18This is nice.
05:19Eyes.
05:20Eyes.
05:21Eyes.
05:22How's things?
05:23How's it all been going?
05:24Yeah, good.
05:25It's very, very exciting.
05:27It's nice to see you happy.
05:28It makes a change, doesn't it?
05:29Well, I don't see you smile much.
05:31He's not a natural...
05:33Miserable.
05:34Miserable.
05:35He's not a natural-born smile, it's John.
05:37What was John like an aspel?
05:39Similar to now, a bit less forehead.
05:42Well, I think where John was so young, he was sort of like still trying to find himself
05:47a lot, weren't you, really?
05:48Yeah.
05:49And I think especially being gay and having to keep it all completely hidden away.
05:54Yeah, yeah.
05:55And I think when you're that age and in the public eye, it's...
06:00It's hard for anyone, isn't it?
06:01It's hard, yeah, it is.
06:02And I don't think people really appreciate how hard it actually probably was for you.
06:06Because we all knew, we didn't take no notice.
06:09It's just like, you know what I mean?
06:10It was a normal thing, weren't it?
06:12Yeah.
06:13He's a bit of a gay icon, isn't he?
06:15Oh, yeah.
06:16It wasn't me anywhere.
06:19And me.
06:20Look at him.
06:21I mean, and you know what?
06:22I've got to say, I never thought, if I'm being completely honest, that you would ever
06:27meet anyone.
06:28Neither did I.
06:29I just didn't.
06:30Neither did I, mate.
06:31Nothing like a confidence boost from your best mate.
06:34From one pop princess to another now, as back at the agency, Kerry is heading up to
06:39see the agents with Paolo.
06:41Paolo, go with it, had been hitting it off big style, with Kerry even introducing him
06:46to daughter Heidi, and Bezzy Danielle isn't that Mel B's sister Brown.
06:51I really like Kerry.
06:52We get on very well.
06:54You're making my friend happy, basically.
06:56Hello.
06:57Hi.
06:58That's the one we met.
07:00We heard, we heard.
07:01Here he is, here he is.
07:02Good.
07:03Welcome.
07:04You are both looking so posh.
07:06Are you gang?
07:07Are we diddling?
07:08Please get comfortable.
07:09All right?
07:10You're all right?
07:11Yeah.
07:12My man, how are you doing?
07:13I'm not too bad.
07:14It's nice to see you again.
07:15How do you feel being here?
07:16Good.
07:17Good.
07:18To be honest, I think Kerry is more nervous than me.
07:21I think I'm pretty sure.
07:23Okay.
07:24Let's start with Paolo.
07:26You made a visit to Kerry's, we'll say, the friendship family circle.
07:31Paolo met my best friend, Danielle.
07:34And Heidi was there.
07:35It was a really nice experience.
07:36She's a big, strong character.
07:38Obviously, you have to be if you're going to be close friends with Kerry as well.
07:42What are you laughing at?
07:45Strong character and some ear defenders, won't Guy Miss?
07:50You could see that Kerry and Paolo are serious about each other.
07:53But I'm going to need to ask some difficult questions if they're going to move forward long-term.
07:58So what would you say has been the hardest part of the relationship so far?
08:03For me, it's the press.
08:05I've sat him down.
08:06I've prepped him.
08:08I said, don't reply to anybody.
08:10Don't comment on anything.
08:11They're going to go into your friends, your family.
08:14They'll look into your past.
08:15The press put pictures of me topless, right?
08:17It used to be a PT.
08:18Jesus Christ, look at the size of him.
08:21Any more of those photos knocking about?
08:26A lot of the comments were like, oh, it's like he's got no brain cells in his head or...
08:30There was once a time where that would have really impacted me.
08:33Now, I don't take that on board because that's their own projection.
08:36Because I care about this person a lot and I see a strong future,
08:40there's nothing that can be really thrown at us right now that we can't discuss,
08:44communicate on and talk about really as well.
08:47That's a big thing.
08:48It was like I said to you, please don't read in the comments.
08:50Yeah.
08:51And he sent out a message about going, they're empty words.
08:52Literally are.
08:53It's people just projecting their own emptiness on you.
08:57I've blocked out the noise because I'm really enjoying this connection
09:01and I just want to see it grow.
09:03The connection's been mind-blowing, I'm not going to lie.
09:07It's been...
09:08Yeah, it has.
09:09It has.
09:10I've not experienced anything like it.
09:11Honestly, it's like he's always been there.
09:13It's so amazing, but I'm also very aware that it's being played out
09:17for everybody to see and watch.
09:19And that I don't like.
09:21Yeah, that can happen on a TV dating show.
09:24I mean, this is better than each one of us could have expected.
09:28Let me hit you with very challenging questions for couples
09:31to see how much you've talked about this.
09:33Who's doing the bins?
09:34OK, so the first is, have you discussed marriage?
09:37I'd marry Paolo in a heartbeat.
09:39I think he's amazing. I really would.
09:41Good to see after three marriages she's learnt to take it slow.
09:45Second question.
09:47This is a big topic.
09:49If you look down why couples divorce,
09:51right at the top is always around finances, right?
09:56It gets ugly.
09:57Have you discussed if you're going to co-mingle the money?
10:01That makes me uncomfortable.
10:03Money makers, I've always been used for money.
10:05I've always been the breadwinner.
10:07And this is unusual for me, having somebody else pay for things.
10:10Paolo, you know what the press is going to say.
10:13The press is going to say, look at this young boy toy that Carrie has
10:17and she's paying for everything.
10:19Yeah.
10:20So already, get ahead of that by having the discussion right now.
10:24Yeah.
10:25So therefore, when the drama comes, you've already decided
10:28what your values are and what the execution play is going to be.
10:31100%.
10:32Right? I think that's going to be important.
10:34I say before you even talk about marriage, you need to be talking about money.
10:39Talk about money.
10:40Basically, what they're saying is no prenup, no bunk-up, right?
10:47Speaking of money, before marriage, coming in hot from the Hogwarts Express,
10:51it's Sam, that ain't no wand in my pocket, Prince.
10:53Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.
11:01Hello, Celebrity Dating Agency.
11:03Hey, Tom.
11:04Oh, hello, Sammy.
11:06Come in.
11:07Hello Sammy. Hello. How are you? How are you? Good to see you. Oh lovely to see you. Lovely to see you. Make yourself comfy. I'm not going to take this off, it's okay. Please, strip if you like. Yeah. Has he got two of the same shirt on? Yeah, double beige babes.
11:36Well I wore a little green today because your dipsis has swollen to three times the size, you know. Get some Savla on that Tom Sharpish. I moved it to my bedroom and it's got so stonking. That's good. I think it's because I've put a champagne bottle in it. You put a champagne bottle in it? Mmm, this is what I do, I shove it into the root. I hope you took the cork out at least.
12:06While those two talk fierce, let's see if things have gone flat over with the Triple J's. John, Jordan and Joe. What are your intentions, Jordan? Yeah, I'm hoping that obviously me and John continue this and see what happens.
12:23Like, I genuinely love him. Whoa, whoa, whoa, did he just drop the L-bomb? Being with him. False alarm everyone, stand down, stand down. Sorry, Katona's got to me.
12:34When I say love, I just mean like, I love. Yeah, it's because he's Northern. I know, yeah. Sorry about love.
12:38Yeah. And I hear that you're a hairdresser. I am. Which is fantastic. What do you think of my fringe?
12:44Uh-oh. Say it looks amazing, Jordan. Don't look, don't hesitate. Just say it's the best fringe in the history of fringes.
12:51I mean, I... Jordan! Say you like it, Jordan! Yeah, he's fucked it.
12:58Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating, where S Club John's squeeze, Jordan, is in a close shave, after S Club Joe quizzed him on a fringe. Don't get snippy now.
13:19I mean, I... I... generally prefer you without a fringe. Because you've got good born scuddle, don't you?
13:26For you. Yeah, seriously though, don't fuck with a fringe.
13:33While those three laugh it up, back at the agency, P-Dawg has some serious questions for Kerry and Paolo.
13:39You know, we haven't talked about age difference. So what's the age difference between the two of you?
13:43Eleven years. Eleven years. Okay, so... He's older.
13:47Clearly.
13:49So, so, have you at all felt that difference? Not really.
13:54That age difference at all? No, not really.
13:56At first, for me, it was a big deal. I think that's my own insecurity. It's more of my problem than it was his problem.
14:02Yeah.
14:02Paolo's such an old soul, I think. And he's got... And I'm such a... immature.
14:08I've not really grown up yet.
14:10So we kind of just, like, meet in the middle.
14:12He's into MILFs, anyway.
14:14MILFs, gilfs, great gilfs. I'm not fussy.
14:17Do you think she's a MILF?
14:19I think she's a MILF.
14:20There we go. I want the same food.
14:21Oh, my God.
14:22You could see Kerry and Paolo are into each other, which is great.
14:25Now's the time to apply what we've been teaching them so they can guarantee their future together.
14:30We want this to go forever.
14:34Yeah.
14:34So do we.
14:35100%, yeah.
14:36And that's the reason why it's so important to talk about these things ahead of time.
14:40Lots to think about.
14:41Thank you very much.
14:42Thank you so much.
14:43All right, I need to go change my toxins, sweating that much.
14:46Thank you so much, guys.
14:48Thank you, thank you so much for your time.
14:49Enjoy the rest of your work.
14:50All right, see you later.
14:51See you later, guys.
14:52Bye, darling.
14:53My turn is down.
14:54Now, go on.
14:55Okay.
14:56See you later.
14:57Let's go.
14:58Kerry Katona is in a committed relationship.
15:02I think it's the honeymoon period.
15:04And they need to have these tough conversations that we're asking them to have or they'll never
15:08be able to survive it.
15:09With those two lovebirds flapping off into the sunset...
15:13There's still one cross-examination to finish.
15:17Let's see how S Club John and Jordan's hair-raising drink is going.
15:22Can you sing?
15:24No, I've heard him sing.
15:25Oh, you can't sing.
15:26Terrible.
15:27He's got this one going on.
15:28All right.
15:29Sexy dad at a wedding.
15:31Okay.
15:32Okay.
15:33That's good to see.
15:34That's it.
15:35Top off the whole jbang.
15:36I look forward to that.
15:38You two are very, very cute together.
15:40You make a lovely couple.
15:42I think we do make quite a good couple.
15:44You really, really do.
15:45And you've got a very beautiful, kind face.
15:47Good eyes.
15:48Yeah.
15:49You can see a lot about a person through the eyes.
15:52And even more from a stool sample.
15:53It's about time.
15:54I've told mummy.
15:55That never gets less creepy, does it?
15:57Oh, mummy.
15:58Wow.
15:59This must be quite a seriously sort of thing.
16:01Yeah.
16:02Oh, you're gonna love her.
16:03She wants a free ado.
16:04Yeah.
16:05Basically.
16:06Oh, yeah, of course.
16:07So do I.
16:08Yeah.
16:09Oh, no.
16:10Do you know what?
16:11Of approval.
16:12Oh, great.
16:14Now, about that fringe.
16:15It's nice to finally meet you.
16:17So cheers.
16:18Cheers to you guys.
16:19Cheers, guys.
16:20I'm really, really happy for both of you.
16:22I really am.
16:23It's nice to see.
16:24Thanks, mate.
16:26It was great.
16:27I mean, I always loved seeing Jo.
16:29And I think she genuinely really liked Jordan.
16:32I think she would have told me otherwise.
16:33She would have told him otherwise, I think, as well.
16:35And he seemed to get on with her really well.
16:37I absolutely adored Jordan.
16:39I thought he was everything.
16:41If I could handpick someone for John, that would be it.
16:46And I really hope that I will be putting that hat on very, very soon.
16:51It's really nice that Jordan started to meet my friends.
16:53Obviously, Jo's the first one.
16:54And then, obviously, the big one is Mummy.
16:57You've got to stop that.
16:58Mummy milk.
16:59I'm very excited.
17:00But still very keen to just take it one day at a time.
17:03But the future is looking very good.
17:05Oh, lovely stuff.
17:06And not one shitty S Club 7 pun.
17:08Really great work, guys.
17:10Yeah, the future's bright.
17:12Definitely.
17:13I think I will be reaching for the stars.
17:15Oh, for fuck's sake.
17:17Right, I'm telling Mummy.
17:19While JJ head off, back at the agency,
17:23Sam and Tom are unbelievably still talking about greenery.
17:26There's something about house plants that just...
17:29They just do it for me.
17:30Weirdo.
17:33Hello?
17:34Hi, T.
17:35Do you have Sam there?
17:36Yes, he is.
17:37Oh, no.
17:38I was really enjoying that three-hour chat about plants.
17:41Shame.
17:42Great, yeah.
17:43Paul now are ready.
17:44You could just send him up, please.
17:45Yes, certainly.
17:46All right.
17:47Bye, darling.
17:48Well...
17:49Am I off?
17:50My Baron of Botany.
17:51These are my favourite days, you know.
17:52I love the dating, but this is...
17:53Do you?
17:54Oh, yeah.
17:55Oh, well, you're always welcome, you know.
17:57Thank you so much.
17:58Mi casa zu casa.
17:59Tom, thank you.
18:00You're very, very welcome.
18:02Enormous luck.
18:03Oh, he's gonna need it.
18:04At the brunch, Sam was feeling the squeeze with Mahan after flouncing out of their double date.
18:10Okay, Mahan, will you give Sam a second chance of going on a date with him again?
18:13Yeah.
18:14I would like to get to know him a little bit better.
18:16And even then, it was not plain sailing for him.
18:18More plane crashing into the sea and exploding into a shower of shit.
18:22You're quite intriguing.
18:23Am I?
18:24Yeah.
18:25Even though you walked out on the date.
18:26Oh, yeah, I did.
18:28But despite the turbulence, he still managed to bag a post-date drink.
18:32This is definitely for a drink.
18:33Yeah, definitely.
18:34Let's do it.
18:39Come in.
18:40Hello.
18:41Sam.
18:42Sam the man.
18:43How are you?
18:44You know, we're really good.
18:45How are you?
18:46I'm good.
18:47You guys always look so macular.
18:48Well, same to you.
18:49Always so done up.
18:50Oh, they know, Sam.
18:52They know.
18:53So, let's talk about Mahan.
18:54Tell us about how that date went.
18:55We went to this ramen place.
18:57Yeah.
18:58Seeing you slurping up some ramen, that's exactly the date I want to see you in.
19:01A bit messy, you know?
19:02So, good date?
19:03Good date, yeah.
19:04Not great?
19:05When I like someone, I'm so in.
19:07Ah.
19:08I haven't had that feeling with Mahan.
19:09But I think she's beautiful, she's a bit older.
19:11I think it's quite interesting too.
19:12There you go.
19:13There you go.
19:14Okay.
19:15So, we asked Mahan if she thought you two made a good match.
19:18And she said, we have things in common.
19:20So do I and a horse, but I don't want to date one.
19:24So I feel that yes, we could be good for each other.
19:28Okay?
19:29Okay.
19:30We asked Mahan if she would like to see you again.
19:33And she said, she doesn't know.
19:38She said, he changes his mind so quickly.
19:41It feels like he's telling me what I want to hear.
19:44For example, after the date, when he asked me for a drink, but then left straight away.
19:50What?
19:51He's done another runner?
19:52I did obviously say, let's go for a drink, and then I just get in the car.
19:55But did you tell her that?
19:56Yeah, I said, I'm going.
19:57But previous to that, you said, let's go for another drink?
20:00Yeah, I did, yeah.
20:01And then you turned?
20:02And then I went home.
20:05Okay.
20:06Okay.
20:07Sam continues to do this again and again on his dates.
20:10We've tried talking to him, but he just doesn't listen.
20:13He has a hard head.
20:14So it's now time to put him on the spot.
20:16And here she is!
20:18Only joking, I wish.
20:19I think you should call her.
20:21What now?
20:22You should totally call Mahan.
20:24Right now?
20:25What, right now?
20:26As in, right now, now?
20:27Yes, why not?
20:28Oh, yes, fucking please.
20:30While those three work out the agency Wi-Fi code, downstairs our next celeb seeking connection
20:36is arriving.
20:37It's our very own human hotspot, Donna Preston.
20:42Oh, my chum.
20:45Come in, love.
20:47We got the fire, so powerful.
20:49We got the grace, we got the love.
20:54Sunshine, my only sunshine.
21:00You make me happy when skies are grey.
21:04You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
21:08So have I taken acid?
21:09What the fuck is this?
21:11Please don't take my sunshine away.
21:17Well, that's enough of that, bollocks.
21:19Back upstairs, then, to see Sam pluck up the courage to ask Mahan on another day.
21:24This is my chance.
21:25My hair looks good.
21:26Come on, Sam.
21:27Time to make it up to her.
21:28Try not to hang up in a panic and jump out the window.
21:30Here we go.
21:31Oh, Mahan.
21:32Hello.
21:33Hi.
21:34I'm good.
21:35How are you?
21:36I'm good.
21:37How was your weekend?
21:38My weekend was...
21:39I had a lovely time.
21:40Yeah.
21:41I really enjoyed our day, by the way.
21:43Oh, yeah, I thought we got on well.
21:45You enjoyed the ramen.
21:47You did a runner again.
21:49I enjoyed our chat.
21:51I think it was sweet.
21:55No, the day itself went really well.
21:57I agree.
21:58Like, I had a really good time with you.
22:00And then, obviously, we were supposed to go for a drink, and then you bounced up.
22:03So I was a little bit confused.
22:05Yeah, I would.
22:06I just wanted an early night.
22:07Yeah, and he couldn't find a plant sitter.
22:10But I...
22:11I would love to go for that drink with you again.
22:14Um, wait, I mean...
22:20I feel like I'm begging.
22:24That's because you are.
22:44Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating, where Sam is fumbling like a mole after a cataract operation
22:51as he tries to convince Mahan to go on another date.
22:54Sam, not the mole.
22:56I think we just need to get to know each other more.
23:01Especially after what happened, you know, in...
23:03when we went to, uh, the vineyard.
23:06Ah, the first time you ran out on a great days.
23:11Okay, sure.
23:12That's great.
23:14Was that a yes?
23:15Okay, sounds good.
23:17Really looking forward to seeing you.
23:18Bye-bye.
23:19Imagine what she'd be like if she wasn't looking forward to it.
23:23Guys, FaceTime's not my thing.
23:26We could tell.
23:27That was miserable, though, man.
23:28Thanks, man.
23:31That was miserable.
23:32You know why, Sam?
23:33Why?
23:34Because that's... you're having to actually do you.
23:37Yeah.
23:38Real, okay?
23:39This is real life, okay?
23:41Yes.
23:42And I think that is the challenge that you have.
23:44Do you know what it is?
23:45I feel like I haven't...
23:47I haven't been able to fully be me at times.
23:49Yeah.
23:50Because this is how it feels.
23:51Yeah.
23:52Right?
23:53You've come here, and you've been very intentional about showing a different side.
23:56But unfortunately, that different side that you've shown is not your true self.
24:03It's a version of yourself.
24:06In order for us to truly help you, we have to know truly who you are.
24:12Well, the way that someone knows you give a vague shit is by asking better questions.
24:17Ask her, where do you see yourself in ten years' time?
24:20I haven't shared that once.
24:21What's your favourite colour and stuff?
24:22No one cares about what your favourite food is.
24:23What's your favourite colour and stuff?
24:24No one gives a shit about your holiday.
24:25I did use that chat.
24:26Who cares about your favourite zoo animal?
24:28Pizza, Lanzarote, Capybara.
24:31If Sam wants to make any progress, he needs to get real.
24:34It's great that he wants to change the percentage.
24:36He just needs to drop the facade and turn up to date as his real self.
24:42But who is the real Sam Prince?
24:44Sam, thank you.
24:45I really hope you feel that we do have, you know, nothing but love for you.
24:49Thank you, guys.
24:50I appreciate you all.
24:52Much love.
24:53Have fun and Mahana.
24:54We can't wait to hear how it goes.
24:56Bye-bye.
25:07As Captain Bage buggers off, across town the man with more brain cells than I've had hot dinners,
25:13and I've had a shitload, Mark is on his way to his third date with Deanne.
25:17I'm really looking forward to seeing Deanne again.
25:19She's fantastic.
25:20I know she'll look amazing.
25:22Last time we saw Mark, he was on a date with Josie, and despite her being a keen bean...
25:27I can't cook, Mark.
25:28If you want to get married, I can't cook.
25:30But I'm brilliant at maths.
25:31Give me 244 times whatever.
25:35Mark only had eyes for one lady.
25:37She was nice but wasn't for me.
25:39Can I have another date with Deanna, please?
25:41Well, I'm not saying no to him.
25:42He's fucking enormous.
25:46The agents want me to do her homework to basically put her on the spot a bit more.
25:51And almost like, what are her intentions?
25:53Is she planning to seduce me or something?
25:55You'll know if she brings a box to stand on.
25:57We all establish I'm useless at reading romantic cues.
26:01I more or less go on what they say.
26:03And occasionally little things like, is she smiling or whatever?
26:06That's about it.
26:08Well, keep them peeled, Beastie, and who knows?
26:10You might be in a cab to Snogsville.
26:12Someone whose journey to Snogsville has been delayed by a stop off at Shit Date Junction is Donna, who is heading up to see the agents.
26:22Hello.
26:23Donna.
26:24Oh, my queen.
26:25You two look fantastic.
26:26Why, thank you.
26:27Ray of sunshines.
26:28Are you okay?
26:30We are fabulous.
26:31Yes.
26:32How are you?
26:33I'm good, thank you.
26:35Donna's last date with Mike got off to a shaky start.
26:39You host a podcast?
26:41What's that?
26:42I do, yeah.
26:43I wear my geek on my sleeve.
26:44Very proud of it.
26:45Yeah.
26:46It's called Attack of the 50 Foot Nerds.
26:47Okay.
26:48And then got shakier, keeled over, and fell into a ditch on fire.
26:52I'm a big fan of Lego.
26:54My birthday's coming up in a few weeks.
26:56Yeah.
26:57I've booked a week off work.
26:58Right.
26:59I'm going to build the old 1966 Adam West Batmobile.
27:02Right.
27:03I think she's more of a Michael Keaton fan.
27:06Mike was really sweet.
27:08No spark.
27:10Just not my cup of tea.
27:13Huh.
27:14Yeah.
27:15Well, that sounds like a shit date, and I'm sorry.
27:18Remind me who sets them up, Dr T.
27:20I'm not saying it wasn't a crack date.
27:21Yes.
27:22You'd already picked out flaws.
27:24But you did look like my ex.
27:27We've noticed that Donna is shutting dates down quite quickly.
27:30If she's not finding any connection, that really is fine because, I mean, it does just happen.
27:34However, my concern is that Donna isn't giving these guys a chance.
27:37And if she's not doing that, then basically she's self-sabotaging her chances at finding love.
27:43Have you enjoyed any of your dates that you've been on so far at the agency?
27:47Mmm.
27:48No.
27:49I enjoyed Gary's banter with the old Gazette.
27:54We had a good time.
27:56I just don't think I've connected with anyone yet.
28:00How do you know that something is brewing there?
28:03I feel like I have touched base on love with someone who I couldn't have because they were in an arranged marriage.
28:12And that feeling was just incredible.
28:16It was like something, like I was, it sounds bizarre, but I felt nauseous because I was so excited, you know.
28:25And he made me laugh all the time and he cared.
28:28But I don't know if that was real.
28:31I'm not sure.
28:33So, yeah, maybe, I don't know.
28:37Was it love or was it infatuation?
28:40Probably.
28:41It was probably infatuation.
28:43It's confusing.
28:44I have experienced both.
28:46I mean, I still do.
28:47But I think infatuation can be extremely strong.
28:51Yeah.
28:52That most people I know can't distinguish.
28:56But so what's the difference between that and love then?
28:59Love is a combination of intimacy, passion and commitment.
29:04Okay.
29:05And love is also a verb.
29:07It's an action.
29:09It isn't just a feeling.
29:10Okay.
29:11It's an action.
29:12While Donna discovers love.
29:14Someone else on the lookout for action is Mark, who is taking Deanne out for a curry on their third date, where he wants to work out what her intentions are for him.
29:26I love his personality.
29:28I love the way he is.
29:30We're taking every day as it comes.
29:33And we go from there.
29:35Sounds hopeful, Beastie.
29:37Let's get on with it.
29:39Hello there.
29:40Hello.
29:41Wow, you look amazing, as always.
29:45Straight in for the shoulder kiss.
29:47Saucy boy.
29:48Well, gorgeous weather.
29:49I know.
29:50Beautiful companion.
29:51And curry.
29:52Don't go too heavy on the spice though, Mark.
29:55You don't want to be asking Deanne to the gala from the gents.
29:58We're on the date.
29:59It's going well.
30:00Now to keep my eyes peeled for any signs that she might find me attractive.
30:03So these were the old spice warehouses, I believe, when they were in the City of London.
30:09And they've converted it.
30:13Oh, really?
30:14That's why the design is, they were big warehouses and offices on top.
30:18Presumably were pretty close to the docks where they bought the spices and stuff from all over the world.
30:25Fascinating.
30:26You know, I love history.
30:28I absolutely love history.
30:30I mean, I don't know about Deanne, but I find Beastie way more attractive after that history lesson.
30:35Doc me.
30:39Anyway, back at the agency, Donna is looking for help trying to put her dating disasters in the past.
30:45What is your dating goal or relationship goal?
30:48I think at the moment, it's to have a nice first date.
30:52To laugh on a first date.
30:54Great.
30:55And that's...
30:56Just got to get that first.
30:58Yeah, OK.
30:59And then we can think about the second and the third and so on.
31:04Are you excited to go on a date?
31:11If I am honest, no.
31:13If I'm really thinking about it, I'm not excited.
31:18I just can't be fucked to get ready again, if I'm honest.
31:22You know, I'm wasting all these bloody eyelashes.
31:25I get it.
31:26I'm wasting all this bloody makeup and setting spray.
31:28You look fierce.
31:31You look hot, OK?
31:32Yeah.
31:33And try and think of the dates, not as a chore.
31:36You know, the dating pool, you know, you have to be in it to win it.
31:39OK?
31:40You really do.
31:41Yeah.
31:42Yeah.
31:43Yeah.
31:44Yeah.
31:45Yeah.
31:46Trillionaires.
31:47OK.
31:48The only way to really find that perfect person or as near as that fits for you is to get
31:53out there, kid, and get those lashes on, and go and try again and again and again,
31:59because you never know what you could be missing out on.
32:03OK.
32:04On that note, should we show your next date?
32:06Oh, my God.
32:07Yeah.
32:08Come on, man.
32:09Let's go.
32:10Oh, my God.
32:11There you go.
32:12God, OK.
32:13Bloody hell, someone's perked up.
32:14Ben.
32:15Ben?
32:16Billy Rickey.
32:17Come on, we.
32:18Let, let, let, let.
32:19Electrician, 37, six foot, a Virgo, like someone fiery.
32:24OK.
32:25That's what we're thinking about.
32:26Oh, Betty Boy there, wearing a white jean.
32:28White jeans is a confident man.
32:31Ooh.
32:32Erm.
32:33Yeah.
32:34Ben looks sweet.
32:36OK.
32:37Well, she's not completely shut it down.
32:39Yet.
32:40Bare minimum, we want you to have fun.
32:41Yes.
32:42We want you to have the one that makes you feel good.
32:43That you walk away and you're like, you know what?
32:44That was worth sticking me lashes on.
32:46Shove all the ones that haven't worked out for you to the side.
32:49They've just been the warm-up act.
32:50OK.
32:51For Ben.
32:52For Ben.
32:53Mm-hmm.
32:54Benny Boy.
32:55Come on then, Ben.
32:57Have fun.
32:58Cheers.
32:59Goodbye.
33:00Bye, darling.
33:01Bye, bye, bye.
33:02Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
33:07She's deflated.
33:08We know that happens when you have a couple of crap dates one after the other.
33:12It's hard to motivate.
33:13But it only takes one person.
33:16While Donna heads out looking for the one,
33:18the man who seems to meet the one on every date Louis is arriving for his third date with Harriet.
33:23But one was not enough for our man at the brunch as he asked both Alana and Harriet out, greedy boy.
33:31I really get on with both of you two, so if you would like to go on a date, Harriet and Alana.
33:42But his date with Alana fizzled out quicker than an underwater fireworks display.
33:46It's no point, like, dragging something along.
33:51I've got a train to catch.
33:52Oh, you've got a train?
33:53Yeah.
33:55So let's hope this goes better or he could be heading to the gala on his own.
33:59My game plan is just be myself.
34:01Throughout the whole experience I've had pressure of, like, Liv or other girls and boundaries and all this.
34:06Scheiser.
34:07Oh, I didn't know he's back on the Deutsche.
34:09So now I'm going to go in there and just be myself.
34:12Hopefully we'll have some fun.
34:14I'm still not going to kiss her because I told myself I ain't going to do that no more.
34:17You've just got to start listening to yourself now.
34:20Have I kissed every single girl that I've chatted to?
34:22Erm, I think I've lost count.
34:25That's outrageous.
34:26This is my second date with Louis.
34:28I'm really excited because at the brunch I got a really good vibe from him.
34:32But I feel a little uneasy.
34:34If Louis is serious about me, I want him to make it known today that it's just me and only me.
34:39I'm just wanting an answer.
34:41She sounds like she means business, Lulu.
34:45Hello.
34:46Hello, hello.
34:47How are you doing?
34:48I'm good, thank you.
34:49How are you?
34:50I'm good, I'm good.
34:51You look nice.
34:52Appreciate it, you look great too.
34:54I've never thought ever.
34:55Yeah, have you?
34:56Nah, I've never bowled.
34:57See your shit.
34:59I wouldn't say shit.
35:00Nah, he's lying, Harriet.
35:01He strikes me as the man who knows his way around the lanes.
35:06Okay, maybe not.
35:07Alright, let me see it then.
35:09You've got a little curl on that.
35:13You alright, Lulu?
35:17There we go, she does it when it matters.
35:19Oh.
35:22Harriet is smashing me at bowling, but when you look that good, I don't mind a bit of competition.
35:29No, you're already at me.
35:30Just give it a try.
35:35See?
35:39Let's go and get a drink instead.
35:40Yeah, let's go.
35:41Yeah, I think she's embarrassed you enough.
35:43Time for you to do it for a bit.
35:45Name another sport you think you'd be at.
35:47I can do any sport, like rounders, cricket, basketball.
35:51What about tennis?
35:52Tennis, I'm good.
35:53Really?
35:54Tennis, yeah, yeah.
35:55Gymnastics, I can do that.
35:56Yeah, you've done the split.
35:57Yeah.
35:58Have you got any other tricks?
35:59Can you put your legs behind your head?
36:01What, like, now?
36:03Don't tempt him, Harriet.
36:04Probably not now, no.
36:05Probably not now.
36:06No.
36:07Probably don't do that now.
36:08Oh, no.
36:09No.
36:10I think that's more like...
36:11Uh...
36:12Later.
36:13Later?
36:14Yeah, there's a nine-year-old's birthday party starting on the next lane.
36:19Might put them off their nuggets.
36:20Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating, where Louis is trying to strike it lucky on his bowling
36:35date with Harriet.
36:36Do you know what?
36:37I try and keep it, like, PG when I chat to you.
36:40PG?
36:41I'm not sure you'd get Woody asking Bo Peek to stick her legs behind her head.
36:45But okay.
36:46Yeah, why?
36:47I feel like I don't want to overstep no boundary.
36:51Cos I feel like I'm being a good man, innit?
36:53So, you're thinking up here?
36:55Yeah.
36:56Good.
36:57That's good.
36:58I'm thinking with this head and not that head.
37:00Uh-huh.
37:01That's good.
37:02That head comes near.
37:03Is that natural, though?
37:04Like, is that what you want to do?
37:05Like, do you...?
37:06I want to think this head instead of this head.
37:07No, like...
37:08This head gets me in more trouble than this head.
37:09Well, yeah.
37:10So, yeah.
37:11I'd rather...
37:12Yeah, that's good, though.
37:13...lock into this one.
37:14Cos this has got a lot to give, actually.
37:16More than...
37:17More is crazy cos he's got a lot to give, too.
37:20Probably, like, equal amounts.
37:22Just don't put the heads together, Louis.
37:24You don't want to be a dickhead.
37:25God!
37:26LAUGHTER
37:27While Louis brings the flirt on his date, let's check in to see if Mark is still feeling
37:35the heat on his with Deanne.
37:37Spicy, but lovely.
37:38Very spicy, but I'm enjoying it.
37:39He is spicy.
37:40Oh, someone's gone a bit heavy on the lime pickle.
37:43Ha-ha!
37:44Ha-ha!
37:45Oh, someone's gone a bit heavy on the lime pickle.
37:46Ha-ha!
37:47Ha-ha!
37:48Ha-ha!
37:49Ha-ha!
37:50Ha-ha!
37:51I ain't got no water.
37:52Ha-ha!
37:53Ha-ha!
37:54I am struggling here.
37:55It is spicy, yeah.
37:56I find taking a swig from an empty glass always helps.
37:59I thought this guy was supposed to be a genius.
38:01So, when you went to the agency...
38:03Yeah.
38:04..what did you ask for?
38:06Tall and intelligent.
38:08No, I ain't intelligent.
38:10Ha-ha!
38:11And you aren't tall either, but at least you aren't drinking out of an empty glass.
38:14Just because they said that's what I'd like, you know, ultimately you'd go,
38:18give it a try.
38:20So, all these little things, when I'm on a date with you, I'm watching and learning
38:25and I'm thinking, the type of man I want to be with.
38:28That's very kind of you, thank you.
38:30Must say, I felt quite protected by you.
38:35I think that comes instinctively.
38:38Maybe that is something old-fashioned about me.
38:41Yeah.
38:42We've got three dates now and absolutely no red flags for you
38:46and quite a few green flags or whatever.
38:48Yeah.
38:49So, yippee.
38:50While those two take it slow, back on Louie's date with Harriet,
38:55things are speeding up.
38:57How do you feel about, like, going forwards?
39:01Like...
39:02Are you ready for, like, a long-term thing?
39:05I think I'm over being single, whether that means with someone or without someone.
39:10Yeah.
39:11That I don't know.
39:12You kind of have to be on your own to be single, mate.
39:15I'm fine right now on my own.
39:17OK.
39:18But I'm probably better with someone.
39:19OK.
39:20But, like, I definitely ain't casually dating like I used to.
39:23The chat's getting quite heavy, but you know what?
39:25I don't mind it.
39:26Harriet's putting me on the spot a bit, but I'm going to explain what my values are
39:30and hopefully she feels the same.
39:32My whole mindset has shifted to a different responsibility and value.
39:37Yeah.
39:38I've stabled myself into knowing my route clearer.
39:40And not only am I going to walk that path, but I'm going to make a motorway to my goals.
39:45OK.
39:46Why is he talking about motorways?
39:48It's four lanes, you know.
39:49Yeah.
39:50Actually, fuck it.
39:51Add another one.
39:52Make it five lanes.
39:53Add a hard shoulder as well, you sexy bastard.
39:56So I'm, like, I'm so focused on that.
39:59Yeah.
40:00That fifth lane might be a beautiful lane, isn't it?
40:04I mean, I've seen better metaphors written in the toilets of Pease Pottage Services.
40:09So while Louis dreams of pulling into Harriet's service station or whatever they're banging
40:13on about, Mark is starting to go up the gears on his date with Deanne.
40:17The agents say, give me all kinds of homework to do with you.
40:20And I'm going...
40:21Homework?
40:22Like what?
40:23Right.
40:24I think it's time we get a little bit deeper and find out exactly where each of us think
40:28this is going.
40:29They want me to ask, like, what are your intentions?
40:31And I'm going, are you my dad?
40:33But ultimately, my feeling is other people can have their standards.
40:38That's fine by them.
40:39As long as I'm happy with my standards and you're happy with your standards, and you're
40:43happy with my standards, that's all that matters.
40:45Standard.
40:46It's like, do you get on?
40:49But it's your personality that you're left with.
40:52You put us two together, you would think, ain't gonna work.
40:57I am in the right sense of word quite slow.
41:00And what I mean by that is...
41:01You're shit at drinking water?
41:03I don't jump in.
41:05I almost stop and think and go, let's not rush and say anything I might regret or do
41:13anything I might regret.
41:14So the important question is, assuming you'd like another date, would you like to go to
41:24the gala?
41:25Yes, I would.
41:26Yes, Beastie!
41:27A bit round the houses, but we got there eventually.
41:29Sip, sip, drink, drink.
41:30Good work.
41:31I'm delighted.
41:32Deanne's great fun to be around, and I'm looking forward to taking her to the gala.
41:36Well, she must like me.
41:37Logic dictates you don't go on a fourth date without really liking someone.
41:42However, romance and logic rarely mix.
41:44Just like me and regular sized condoms, but sometimes you gotta try and squeeze it in.
41:54Come on, Beastie Boy!
41:55Shall we go?
41:56Let's go.
41:57Mark is ticking the boxes.
42:00He's a real gentleman, and every single date that I've been on, that's come across quite
42:08clearly.
42:09I think there's a romantic spark coming, but time will tell.
42:16Bye, it's been great fun.
42:18And I'll see you next week.
42:21I will.
42:22Wonderful evening.
42:24Oh well.
42:26Double cheek kiss.
42:28Slow down, Casadova.
42:29We had a lot of fun.
42:31We had a good chat about important things and not so important things.
42:35We're certainly getting a closer attachment, and it's really nice.
42:39Deanna likes me.
42:40That's the only thing that matters.
42:44Well, one successful date done.
42:46Let's see how our metaphor man Louie is getting on with his date, Harriet.
42:50A king always needs a queen to build his empire.
42:53That's what Henry VIII thought.
42:54Look at the mess he got into.
42:55Divorced, beheaded, survived.
42:56Divorced, beheaded, died.
42:57I feel like you're ready for someone to enjoy life with.
43:01Are you open to that or not?
43:03It depends.
43:04Are you ready?
43:05Are you willing to work on it?
43:06I kind of go with it.
43:07Like, whatever will be, will be.
43:08And if it works, I'm going with it until whatever happens.
43:12I've really enjoyed this date with Harriet.
43:15She's great vibes.
43:16She's facey.
43:17I can actually see something going on it.
43:19I think I only want to date you from now on.
43:21I don't think I need to go on another date with someone else.
43:24And that doesn't mean that, like, oh, we're exclusive and it's just me and you and the...
43:30No, yeah.
43:31No, it's just I don't...
43:32You don't want to go anywhere.
43:33I want to date someone else, innit?
43:34Yeah, good.
43:35I'm glad, because feelings mutual.
43:37I love being around you.
43:38I love...
43:39I love...
43:40No, I love your company.
43:41Like, I love being around you.
43:42To distract him.
43:43I'm going to need you to sit here, I think.
43:45I'm going to sit there.
43:47See, look, look at this.
43:49Ooh.
43:50Service, look at that.
43:51Oh, you're a bit more down, though.
43:52Yeah, I'm a bit smart.
43:53I feel like I need to be close enough.
43:55Yeah, shove over.
43:56He can't see the bowling of you in the way.
43:58I am serious about not seeing no one else.
44:01And when I say I just want to see you, I mean it, innit?
44:04Aw.
44:05Okay.
44:12Good to see.
44:13He's listening to the whole no kissing advice he gave himself.
44:17What a lovely day.
44:18So nice.
44:19Really nice day.
44:20Yeah, really nice.
44:21That was definitely my best day at the agency.
44:22For the fifth time, that's pretty good going.
44:23Yeah, me and Harriet just get on, man.
44:24She's a beautiful girl.
44:25We have good vibes, good energy.
44:26The kiss was worth the wait, I think.
44:27I think the agents will be proud.
44:28I'm proud of myself.
44:29Aw, he's all grown up, isn't he?
44:30I'm excited.
44:31Louis made it clear that he only wants to date me.
44:32I'm like a little girl.
44:33I'm like a little girl.
44:34I'm like a little girl.
44:35I'm like a little girl.
44:36I'm like a little girl.
44:37I'm like a little girl.
44:38I'm like a little girl.
44:39I'm like a little girl.
44:40I'm like a bit if I don't like it.
44:41I'm like a little girl.
44:42I don't want to be like good, but it was God.
44:43I'm like a little girl.
44:44I don't want to be like good, but it was God.
44:45I'm like a little girl.
44:46I'm like a little girl.
44:47I'm like a little girl.
44:48I can't get it.
44:49I can't get it.
44:50But it was God.
44:51Hopefully, see you soon.
44:52I'll figure you go.
44:53Yeah.
44:54Inside, I really wanted to scream like.
44:56Oh, come on.
44:57You could do better than that.
44:59That's the one.
45:00I'll miss.
45:01Miss you.
45:02That's the one.
45:03I miss.
45:05Miss you.
45:07Turns out all you need to do to win Louis over is awkwardly tuck your shirt into your
45:11bra.
45:12Strange world.
45:13Obviously it's still early doors.
45:14I don't know where it's going to go or how it's going to be, but she's facey, got a
45:18nice body, good personality, she's fun to talk to.
45:21She's got that perfect...
45:23Go on.
45:24Balance.
45:25Oh, very mature of you.
45:27I thought he was going to say arse.
45:28Cheers.
45:29Tomorrow night!
45:30What's your love language?
45:35That was rude.
45:36It's S-Cup Heaven for S-Cup John.
45:38I've met someone who is actually like me, and I wouldn't change it for the world.
45:43Liv serves up some humble pie.
45:45Anything else you're allergic to or...?
45:47Men.
45:50And Sam takes a pie right to the face.
45:53I don't want to do this anymore.
45:55Well...
45:56I'm going to go.
45:57As our celebs...
45:59Go!
46:00I feel good about everything.
46:01Dating!
46:02A beacon of why this agency is the best in the world.
46:06The best in the world.
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46:47
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