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00:00in the last episode of soap jessica found chester in a hotel room with another woman
00:07and told him he had better find another place to live jody found out someone had complained
00:12to the welfare department about him dutch found out eunice has been fooling around with another
00:17man and jessica met billy's teacher and found her very nice want to find out more stay tuned
00:24for this episode of soap this is the story of two sisters jessica tate and mary campbell
00:36these are the tates and these are the camels and this is so
00:54who is it it's me ma who corinne
01:22how do i know it's really you ma you can hear it's me no you might be chester disguising your voice
01:34ma i swear i'm not daddy i'm me are you alone yes i'm alone please open the door i'm holding a train
01:43how long are you going to stay locked in your room
01:47until i know he is not in the house why don't you just talk to him i have nothing to say to him
01:55well maybe he does i know and i've heard it all before i love eating entrees don't you i love eating
02:03ma just talk to him the only trouble is that no matter how careful you are there's always crumbs
02:11in the bed even if you're only having soup won't you feel better resolving this one way or the other
02:18oh look at that crumbs already oh well i'll just brush them over on chester's side
02:26you see there are some advantages to sleeping alone of course that's the only one i can think of
02:35ma you should see him he sits in the living room and every time someone walks by he grabs their arm
02:42and weeps it's impossible to get anything done around here maybe if you just talk to him he'll go away
02:49oh i can't corinne not now maybe soon five or ten years
02:55all right let me know if you want anything else okay all right darling thank you
03:01you know this is the first time i've stayed in my room like this since i had the measles
03:06good night darling good night mom thank you you're welcome bye-bye
03:11chester you get out of here chester please just listen oh
03:24that's my spleen well you're lucky that's all that it is
03:29chester please listen i'm sick i've got a disease
03:32well with the company you keep i don't wonder
03:35no chester not that don't you understand i can't help it what i do is a sickness
03:44no really is that what you call it a sickness and the cure is bed is it
03:50i'll get help jess if you just give me another chance i'll get help i swear it if i were diabetic
03:57you wouldn't throw me out if you were a diabetic you'd stay away from the cookies
04:01yes i want help i swear it i hate what i do as much as you
04:08oh i know it's a real drag isn't it all that dressing and undressing
04:15you won't believe me will you if i were a fat man who couldn't stop eating
04:21you wouldn't throw me out if i couldn't stop drinking you'd let me stay
04:26well this is no different i'm sick jess
04:29i'm a sick man and i'm in need
04:33oh chester don't cry i'm a sick man jess i'm sick and i'm hurting i'm scared
04:44okay chester okay look we'll talk you'll get help
04:50thanks jess
04:51in the meantime you'll stay in the guest room guest room
04:56yes we'll look at it this way chester you have a disease
05:00and i don't want you to near me until you're cured
05:04well
05:18so you'll keep in touch
05:21yes i will miss page thanks for coming by
05:23because if you don't hire me i got a job offer from a couple of chinks down the block with two little brats
05:28yes so let me know
05:30you'll be the first one i call
05:32nice seeing you lady
05:33bye
05:34you believe that apply for a nanny and rommel comes over
05:41it's been like that all day
05:44she wasn't so bad
05:45are you kidding of all of them she was the most charming
05:48johnny some of them were very very nice you're just being picky
05:51i can't help it ma i'm looking for someone
05:54very special very loving very unique
05:57like who
05:58like you
05:59only i can't find her
06:01i'm sitting right here
06:02oh come on mom being serious
06:05and i'm not
06:05mom you can't run down here every day it's an hour's drive
06:09true
06:09but you could move home
06:11nah
06:11why not
06:13i'd love it
06:15bert would love it
06:16even bob has said he's looking forward to
06:19bert and i would really love it
06:24ma it took me 26 years to move out
06:28besides i don't want to tie you down
06:30tie me down to what what do i have to do all day rope cattle what
06:33ma you're forgetting how much time a baby demands of you
06:37but there's me and bert and mrs burns down the street oh she'd adore sitting with wendy a few days a week
06:44mrs burns you mean that sweet little old lady who used to babysit for me
06:48ma she was 90 back then
06:49she's 62
06:52in 1930 she was 62
06:54come on man let's go
06:56i fixed it
06:57fixed what
06:58the thing that needed fixing
07:00what thing
07:01doesn't matter you gotta get a new one anyway
07:02jody those things don't last forever
07:05what thing
07:06what thing again please mary let's go huh
07:08grandpa come on man let's go
07:10bert talk to jody convince him i'm right
07:17jody please she's right huh
07:19your mother is right huh
07:20listen to her on this huh
07:21she knows what she's talking about
07:23just trust her on this one okay
07:24what am i talking about here please
07:28mom wants me to move back home
07:31so come home jody come on there's plenty of room
07:35hey you could go back to work and let's face it if you were living with us
07:38you wouldn't get those crackpots from the welfare department right
07:41well yeah
07:42all right so
07:43i don't know
07:46come on joe come home come on
07:48we could do things together again like
07:50hunting and fishing in the old days
07:52we never did that
07:54now we can
07:57just think it over okay honey
08:01i will my promise i admit it does make some sense
08:03absolutely makes sense come on joe all right think about it roll it over in your head
08:07do whatever you want to do
08:08grandpa come on
08:09okay
08:12goodbye home
08:13oh please don't feel pressured by us in any way
08:17i don't ma really
08:18does that mean you're gonna move home
08:19ma
08:19man
08:20okay okay
08:21just remember if you change your mind
08:25i'll call
08:25should i write down the number
08:27i think i'll remember it
08:28okay
08:29bye
08:30bye wendy
08:31talk to you later
08:32oh
08:32if you should call we should be home in an hour
08:35ma
08:35wait an hour and a half traffic
08:42lock this door
08:48hey uh ma'am
09:04what part
09:07can i ask you a
09:09um
09:09one question
09:10mm-hmm
09:11how was i
09:15oh bird
09:18you were wonderful
09:20i told you that
09:22you're so silly
09:24you were wonderful
09:26do you say that to all the birds
09:30it's nothing
09:34i was just kidding
09:35i was just wondering
09:36i told you
09:38it couldn't have been any better really
09:40it was the best ever
09:42yeah
09:44yeah
09:45the best ever for me or for any bird
09:51bird
09:52i'm just ma'am i gotta know
09:54can't you just forget it
09:56forget it ma'am please
09:57there was another man in my house
09:59in my bed
10:00in my
10:01pajamas
10:02there was another man in the house ma'am
10:08come on how do i forget that
10:10it wasn't as if i fell in love with another man
10:13it wasn't another man
10:15it was you
10:15to you it was me
10:17to me it wasn't me
10:18to me it was that
10:19hot little silver guy
10:20that's
10:20so how was he
10:24i don't believe this
10:26i gotta know ma'am
10:27come on just how was he
10:28i refuse to discuss this
10:29great huh
10:30oh yeah he was really great
10:32yeah what was so great
10:34i mean what did he do that was so great
10:35i mean how many ways are there
10:37that someone
10:38can be much better than someone else
10:40it's not like dancing
10:41it's not like dancing
10:41i mean there's not a whole lot of steps
10:46so what do you do that
10:48some of the fancy space stuff that we don't have yet
10:50was that it
10:54i'm not discussing this
10:56i'm not discussing this bird
10:56it's ridiculous
10:57because if it was some kind of science fiction type sex mary
11:01i cannot compete
11:02those guys live forever
11:04i mean i'm sure there are a lot of things that they could do forever
11:07so was that it
11:10i mean could you know
11:11forever
11:11you know something
11:18you're selfish
11:19you are an incredibly selfish man
11:22bird campbell
11:23don't change the subject here mary
11:25i know what you're trying to do
11:25you're just trying to throw me off the track
11:27no i'm not
11:28i went through hell bird
11:29hell
11:29the man i thought was you was an animal
11:31a maniac
11:32i had to keep moving all the time
11:34if i sat down
11:35oh god forbid
11:36lay down
11:36it was all over
11:37i felt like a fly
11:40i had to keep going
11:41or get it
11:42and not only that
11:47he was always going after other women
11:49family
11:50friends
11:50strangers
11:51anyone
11:52so
11:52when you're all upset
11:54over how terrible it was for you bird
11:55it was equally terrible for me
11:57it was not only your ordeal
12:00it's incredible
12:02you and i had a terrible
12:05he had a ball
12:06i'm sorry man
12:12don't you see that it could never be as good with him
12:16because the most important thing was missing
12:18it was
12:25then how'd he do it
12:31no bird
12:34not that
12:35oh oh
12:36i'm
12:37too bad
12:39love was missing bird
12:45and when that's missing
12:47all the expertise in the world
12:48isn't gonna make it any good
12:50that's why
12:52it couldn't come close
12:54to being what it is with you
12:56oh
13:00oh
13:01oh
13:02bird i love you
13:03i love you
13:04oh i love you too
13:05man
13:06oh
13:07oh
13:08tell me one little thing
13:11he did you really like
13:12right
13:13come on man
13:14just one little thing
13:15just not a big thing
13:16a little thing
13:16i'll never ask you again
13:17well he would
13:20bite my earlobe
13:22he would bite your earlobe
13:26yes
13:27that's what you like
13:28earlobe biting
13:29bird
13:31is that what this commotion is about
13:33some little guy comes by
13:34and chews on your ear
13:34but he gets crazy
13:35bird you said one little thing
13:38that's one little thing
13:39what was it like this
13:42what do you do with the earrings
13:47swallow it
13:48hey tell me
13:59how does it feel
14:00to be 18
14:00pretty much the same
14:02so far only one minor artery
14:03is hardened
14:04corinne
14:09have you seen eunice
14:10behind you
14:12just checking
14:14what was that
14:17oh corinne
14:18he is just driving me crazy
14:20i roll over in bed at night
14:22and he asks me
14:22where i'm going
14:23well i can't blame him
14:24eunice
14:25i mean he practically
14:25caught you red-handed
14:27in a hotel with another guy
14:28eric and i
14:30were discussing
14:30insurance premiums
14:33please eunice
14:34insurance
14:35really
14:35we had an accident
14:37he rear-ended me
14:38i don't think
14:42your insurance
14:42covers that
14:44oh you see that
14:48do you see how
14:49he watches me
14:49he never takes
14:50his eyes off me
14:52he doesn't trust you
14:59eunice
14:59well what kind of
15:00relationship are we
15:01gonna have without trust
15:02relationships are built
15:03on trust
15:04without trust
15:04you just don't have
15:05anything
15:06i'll be right back
15:07where you going
15:08you have to call eric
15:09i've got to tell him
15:09we have to be more careful
15:11jess
15:14hi
15:16hello
15:17you look very nice
15:19this evening
15:19thank you
15:20oh jess
15:21the hands
15:21no hands
15:24and no talking
15:26unless it is
15:27absolutely necessary
15:28now this is
15:29billy's birthday
15:30and we don't want
15:31anyone to know
15:31that there's trouble
15:32between us
15:33anything you say jess
15:34and when someone
15:35comes close
15:35then we put up
15:36some kind of
15:37a front
15:37oh jess
15:39you say the
15:39funniest thing
15:40oh jess
15:42the hands
15:42so have you
15:49thought it over
15:50about moving
15:51back home
15:52yeah
15:52and
15:53i don't know
15:54well we don't
15:55want to pressure
15:56you in any way
15:56no there's no
15:57pressure
15:58absolutely no
15:58pressure at all
15:59you understand that
16:00none
16:00come home
16:01this is killing
16:01your mother
16:02come home
16:04we'll try
16:09oh jess
16:13you have the most
16:13wonderful news
16:14jody's moving
16:15back home
16:16oh mary
16:17i'm so happy
16:18for you
16:19could chester
16:20have his apartment
16:21how are they
16:28how are who
16:30the hors d'oeuvres
16:31oh well i haven't
16:32tried them yet
16:32i'm really worried
16:34big guy i never
16:34made hors d'oeuvres
16:35before there wasn't
16:36much call for them
16:37in south block 8
16:37i'm sure
16:39you know rolling
16:40the little bitty dough
16:41and rolling the
16:42little bitty meat
16:43that isn't easy
16:44when you got stubby
16:45hands you see my
16:46hands they're stubby
16:47i got stubby hands
16:49i see them
16:49that's from
16:50hauling garbage
16:51and greasing trucks
16:52and fitting sewer
16:54pipes here
16:54here try one
16:55i think not
16:59oh come on
17:01big guy
17:01just a little
17:02taste
17:02maybe in a little
17:03quiet
17:03take a bite
17:04dodgy
17:05how are you
17:09very good
17:10you just say
17:13that
17:13what's the matter
17:17darling
17:18you seem nervous
17:19oh ma
17:20everyone is gonna
17:20meet leslie tonight
17:21it is nerve-wracking
17:22last night i dreamt
17:23she eloped with the
17:24entire senior class
17:25darling
17:27you love leslie
17:29well we all love you
17:30so we'll all love
17:31leslie
17:32what's that for
17:36just for being such
17:37a terrific mother
17:38oh thank you
17:39that's her she's here
17:40everyone relax
17:40oh
17:48happy birthday billy
17:57thanks
17:58hey 18 big ones
17:59huh
18:00well
18:00he still looks like
18:01jailed at the knee
18:02bob
18:02so where's your teacher
18:05huh
18:05is she uh
18:07polishing her apples
18:08good evening
18:15oh billy i'm so sorry
18:16i'm late
18:16oh are you late
18:17i didn't notice
18:18uh everyone
18:19this is leslie walker
18:20leslie this is
18:21everyone
18:21i teach you
18:32wanna go upstairs
18:32and conjugate
18:33some verbs
18:34bob
18:34hi i'm mom
18:37bert
18:37tier 71
18:38class of 46
18:39hi leslie walker
18:41what's the capital
18:41of arizona
18:42phoenix
18:43they're right
18:44it's nice to see you
18:46that's his teacher
18:49yeah not bad huh
18:51not bad
18:51all my teachers
18:52look like rocky marciana
18:53i might have gone
18:55to a class once in a while
18:57if i had teachers
18:57that looked like her
18:58i might have gone
18:59to a class
19:00if mine looked like
19:00rocky marciana
19:01you know something
19:08here
19:09it's very ironic
19:11what
19:12well they made it illegal
19:14for teachers to hit
19:15the students
19:15and now
19:17there's wait a minute
19:17there's hey
19:18now the students
19:19hit on the teachers
19:19it's ironic
19:22she's adorable
19:28didn't i tell you
19:30do you think they're
19:32you know
19:33no
19:33absolutely not
19:35please
19:35he's a child
19:37he still plays
19:38with his boats
19:39billy i have
19:42a little present
19:43for you
19:43oh you didn't
19:44have to do that
19:45i quit my job
19:46that's my present
19:48well i had applied
19:49for a job
19:49at the university
19:50last semester
19:51and it came through
19:52so that means
19:54exactly
19:55mm-hmm
19:57what does it mean
20:00well it means
20:02that i'm no longer
20:03your teacher
20:04mrs fairbanks
20:06is your teacher
20:06now
20:07see
20:07you mean i have
20:08to take out
20:08mrs fairbanks
20:09you're 18
20:12you're a man
20:13i'm no longer
20:14bound by any
20:15legal or moral
20:16code
20:17i can safely
20:18give you
20:18your present
20:19and tonight
20:21i'm gonna light
20:22up every candle
20:23on your cake
20:24i better start
20:36thinking of a wish
20:37private
20:42is she bothering
20:44you
20:44who gramps
20:47these camp
20:48followers
20:48can be a pain
20:49gramps
20:50this is mrs walker
20:51hello
20:52mrs biff walker
20:54blackjack
20:55biff's wife
20:56your husband
20:59is one hell
21:00of a pilot
21:00mrs walker
21:01gramps
21:03you've got to
21:04be careful
21:04son
21:05a non-com
21:06with an officer's
21:07wife can get
21:07you 20 years
21:08in the brig
21:09also
21:10don't bite
21:11her shoulder
21:12she hates
21:13that
21:13colorful family
21:18you have
21:19look
21:19i know
21:20they seem
21:21a little
21:21uh
21:22and the major
21:23seems a lot
21:24but don't
21:25let it bother
21:25you
21:25okay
21:26it's not
21:26hereditary
21:27i mean
21:28deep down
21:28we're all
21:29strong-willed
21:29clear-minded
21:30people
21:30i wasn't
21:31worried
21:32good
21:32so you have
21:38to be careful
21:39you just
21:40stay away
21:40from me
21:41you asked
21:41for it
21:42eunice
21:42what is
21:43going
21:44come on
21:47chocolate
21:48never solved
21:48anything
21:49you're right
21:51bird
21:51thanks
21:52i should
21:53just
21:53why don't
22:05we go
22:06now
22:06yeah
22:07it's time
22:08to open
22:08my present
22:09what will happen
22:29with eunice
22:29and dutch
22:30will she keep
22:31fooling around
22:31will he keep
22:32throwing food
22:33what is
22:34leslie's birthday
22:35present to billy
22:35is it safe to bet
22:37it won't come wrapped
22:37what will happen
22:38to jessica and chester
22:40now that she won't
22:40talk to him
22:41will they write notes
22:42will bert continue
22:43to be jealous
22:44of alien bert's
22:45lovemaking
22:45will mary miss it
22:46these questions
22:47and many others
22:48will be answered
22:49on the next episode
22:50of soap
22:51soap is videotaped
22:58before a studio audience
22:59we'll see you next
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