- 5 months ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:01Dirty little piss flaps, runny little cum stains.
00:06Mucky little hailstones, untied little piss flaps.
00:12Mucky little cum...
00:15Mucky little snowflakes, untied little hailstones, stinky little bum flaps.
00:21Oh my god, this is so Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Love it!
00:26Well, thank you!
00:28Put on your seatbelt.
00:30Oh, for f...
00:34This is totally Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Love it!
00:38Well, thank you!
00:40Put on your seatbelt, will you, sweetheart? Come on!
00:43Put your car in the...
00:53We're not your usual funeral director.
00:56Not your usual type of funeral director at all, you know?
00:59Most people seem to think it's gonna be a right f...
01:02idiot who forgets his lines and they won't be far wrong.
01:06We're not your usual funeral director.
01:08Oh, no, no!
01:09Oh, no!
01:10No!
01:11No!
01:12No!
01:13No!
01:14No!
01:15No!
01:16Oh!
01:17No!
01:19No!
01:21No!
01:23Okay.
01:24What am I doing?
01:54Is it all right?
02:05Yeah.
02:11Action!
02:13OK, we're going live in about five minutes.
02:23Now, the Roman Command was stationed up in the Highlands of Scotland and, like Gunty, it suffers from very high winds.
02:30But our first problem was due to our uniforms, because of a lot of cakes being thrown at us on a daily basis.
02:39But our first problem was disco biscuits.
02:43Oh, we all had our bloody heads absolutely buzzing.
02:47Keep running.
02:48What was our first problem?
02:49It was actually the uniforms.
02:51Due to the lack of...
02:52But our first problem was the lack of material due to the war effort.
02:55This was because our gypsies kept coming into the encampment and stealing our children.
03:02Well, the person who's going to replace you next year is Nicole Schni...
03:08Sh...
03:09Sh...
03:10Sh...
03:11Shni...
03:12Shnizzlepicker.
03:13What? In an Australian?
03:15Sh...
03:16Sh...
03:17Sh...
03:18Sh...
03:19Sh...
03:20Sh...
03:21Sh...
03:22Sh...
03:23Sh...
03:24Sh...
03:25Sh...
03:26Sh...
03:27Sh...
03:28Sh...
03:29Sh...
03:30Sh...
03:31Sh...
03:32Oh, it's... Jesus fucking...
03:39It's fucking fantastic.
03:41It's fucking fantastic.
03:51It's ridiculous.
03:53Oh!
03:55You're a jettie-jettie fucking fat man.
04:02Oh, shit!
04:08What are you doing?
04:24I'm sorry, it's so funny.
04:28Cut.
04:30Shall I just be Graham Norton instead?
04:34Well, yeah, if you want to.
04:35Then I don't need Judy, Julie.
04:37No, that's right, that's a good idea.
04:40Um...
04:41And I could be Madonna.
04:47No?
04:48I've heard of Madonna.
04:50Oh, no, no, I love you.
05:03And when it came to getting a job, well, er...
05:05I used to drop her off.
05:07Windows down in the summer.
05:09Tunes are blasting.
05:10I was in there when they said I'm fucking sorry.
05:11I should have said that really, shouldn't I?
05:13Could have been any fucking girl.
05:16Hi, I'm Alan Sugar.
05:19You!
05:20Get out of my shop.
05:22Cause you're shit.
05:26Get out of my shop.
05:27Get out of my office.
05:30Get out of my house.
05:32Yeah, so if you want a really good holiday, you can't go far wrong with the Cheddar Gorge.
05:47See you later.
05:48Okay, we're going live in 30 seconds.
05:50Oh, wait.
05:51The falsetto.
05:52Oh, the falsetto!
05:53I love the falsetto!
06:12Don't trash talk me, Katie.
06:14Not at my dinner table.
06:15I tell you what, we used to have a fine life until you came around and you ruined it.
06:19With your growling and your whizzing.
06:21And your whizzing?
06:22You speed addict.
06:25You fucking droggy.
06:27With your wheezing and your sniffling.
06:29What, something else more interesting?
06:31I tell you what.
06:32Have some chicken bottoms.
06:37Blimmin' brilliant, wicked, wicked rock and roll.
06:39Dudes, I'm Frank Cotton.
06:40I'm so annoying.
06:41Ow!
06:42Basically, I haven't taken any Ritalin today.
06:44So I'm on top.
06:45Form.
06:46Skills.
06:47Also.
06:50Are you alright?
06:51Yeah.
06:52152 take 10.
06:53I hear he can see now and I believe the blindness was temporary.
06:57Stevie's learned a lot since then.
06:59We've learned a lot not to give him any scissors or any of them.
07:02Fuck a dick of a gypsy.
07:04I do shuttin' stick.
07:05Reset.
07:06Take your weapon.
07:07When the sun shone down on his skin, that extra layer of sweat caused him to fucking suck a dick.
07:1315.
07:14Excuse me, sir.
07:15Have I seen you before?
07:17Fuck a dick.
07:18Reset, please.
07:19Excuse me, sir.
07:20Are you Simon?
07:21Goddamn simple.
07:22Do you want to take 10 or not?
07:23No.
07:24Did you take 16?
07:25The three-seer used to be a cheerleader for the Cincinnati-
07:27Right here!
07:28Fuck.
07:29Sorry, a wasp just landed on me.
07:32Take 17.
07:36Slingers are strong.
07:37Slingers are quick.
07:38I've sucked all the Slingers' dicks.
07:44Take 22.
07:46Stevie's learned a lot since then.
07:47And we've learned a lot not to give him any scissors or any inanimate objects he can use
07:51to hack, slash, steal, or borrow a gypsy and throw him out in the wind.
07:55You know, I used to know your mother.
07:57She was a beautiful woman before the-
07:59Take 35.
08:00Took to reminding me of the kind of skin you get on top of a custard or a rice pudding
08:04and that's putting something similar along the same lines.
08:07I praise fucking Jesus that we can get through this today.
08:11That was a fucking nightmare.
08:16Janine told me you had a really fishy little piss.
08:18Yeah, well, you wouldn't let us all do that, yeah!
08:21I can't speak any fucking more.
08:23Where are we, Iraq?
08:24Oh, you have the nice of a noun.
08:26A nice of a noun?
08:27A nice of a noun?
08:30I actually have a motto.
08:33When you like wicked cunt, it's Swedish for fucking bollocks.
08:41Or death becomes her.
08:43There's a motto for your barry.
08:49Clammy.
08:55Shoot!
08:56Or death becomes her.
08:58There's a motto for your barry.
09:05Clammy.
09:06What would you do?
09:07What would we...
09:08No, no, no, no.
09:21You don't eat it.
09:23I think it's to put your glass of juice on, so it doesn't stain the table.
09:28Isn't that pretty?
09:29Oh, damn!
09:30Oh!
09:31Oh!
09:32Oh!
09:33Oh!
09:34Oh!
09:35You know, half of the time, I don't think even Josh the priest speaks me.
09:38All right, there.
09:39How are you doing, Mickey?
09:40Just some...
09:41Fuck it.
09:42I don't know.
09:43I'll just give it some nuts.
09:44There's an old Jamaican saying that says, we're daughter on ting, ting run we.
09:59So, no, it's not that one, actually.
10:00No, it's something I was completely into Ali.
10:02It would have worked, though.
10:03Three, two, one, go.
10:06Sponsored cyclage.
10:11Three, two, one, go.
10:13Mumford and Sums.
10:17Three, two, one, go.
10:19My chemical what's it.
10:22Three, two, one, go.
10:26I'm out of things!
10:32I'm going to make a belt out of the lead, Baddy.
10:35Oh, the same lead that could have garotched her to death into her little brains.
10:41Fucking eyes.
10:42Oh, the same lead that might have garotched her to death until...
10:48her little eyeballs just popped out of her face, you know.
10:52The effect, maybe, of derrily dunk at...
10:55What the fuck?
10:59Oh, the same lead that might well have garotched her to death.
11:04You know, choking her until her little eyeballs were forced out of her face.
11:08Or just the effect of thousands of...
11:11Thousands, thousands, thousands of chocolate buttons being thrown down her throat.
11:18You know, he brought down a crack cocaine ring using a shoelace hook.
11:33Um, and...
11:35The Irish Mafia.
11:36You know, Mafia.
11:37Sorry.
11:38Fuck it.
11:39Again, that's an accent problem.
11:41But the problem with Shetlands is that it would have been little legs.
11:44And in all, it was about a mile across the battlefield.
11:46So it took us about three to four, um, uh...
11:49Leap years.
11:50Leap years to get to the other side.
11:53And, of course, the Shetlands are utter bastards and support terrorism throughout the world.
12:01You have little dinner parties for it.
12:04Fuck.
12:05Try toxic breath and labial cysts.
12:07Why don't you try...
12:08That's not a cock.
12:09That's a fucking skin tag.
12:10Try...
12:11Try...
12:12Fuck!
12:14Try anything.
12:15Try harder.
12:16Try toxic breath and labial cysts.
12:18That's not a cock.
12:19That's a skin tag.
12:20Try that.
12:21Try alcohol-induced miscarriage.
12:22Try...
12:23I like little Mexican boys.
12:24Try emergency...
12:25Ah!
12:26Your...
12:27Your tache is full of...
12:29My moustache is very...
12:31It'll be okay, Norman.
12:43Tupperware set with built-in crumb catcher?
12:45No.
12:49Tupperware set with built-in crumb catcher?
12:51Oh!
12:52Oh!
12:53Oh!
12:54Oh!
12:55Oh!
12:56Oh!
12:57Oh!
12:58Oh!
12:59Brilliant!
13:00Even more brilliant!
13:01Twice as brilliant!
13:02Excellent!
13:03Brilliant!
13:04Wicked!
13:05Ow!
13:06Ow!
13:07Wicked!
13:08Brilliant!
13:09Look how brilliant this is!
13:10Ow!
13:13Talking of stinking, vile, heinous fungal infections, how is your mother?
13:18Ha ha ha ha ha!
13:19Oh!
13:20Oh!
13:21Oh!
13:22Oh!
13:23Oh!
13:24Oh!
13:25Oh!
13:26Oh!
13:27Oh!
13:32Have you forgotten your line?
13:34Oh yeah, she's dead.
13:36Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
13:37Oh!
13:38You're like a tree!
13:39We just need to cut open!
13:40And count the circles!
13:42Because you have the emotional depth...
13:43Oh!
13:44Through!
13:45Is that egg?
13:46Or pick-a-lily?
13:47It's probably mustard, so...
13:48Don't worry, the fucking dog has fucking parted right in my face!
13:49Oh!
13:50We've done another!
13:51Oh, great!
13:52That'll be easy for the scene then!
13:53Oh!
13:54I'm gonna be sick, Ashley.
13:55You're not really much like Bruce, what he's done.
13:56He's quite hunk.
13:57You're a fucking fat bastard with a fucking talking problem!
14:04Katie needs a poo!
14:05He also spies you down the end of our paddock with your Nicolas Cage flipping and a-flapping
14:06out of your pants!
14:07Chasing Sookie Sue LMA!
14:08My prize winning petting pony!
14:09Ah!
14:10Ha ha ha ha!
14:11My prize winning petting pony!
14:12Ah!
14:13Ha ha ha ha!
14:14You're a fucking fat bastard with a fucking talking problem!
14:17Oh!
14:18Oh!
14:19Oh!
14:20Oh!
14:21Oh!
14:22Oh!
14:23Oh!
14:24Oh!
14:25Oh!
14:26Oh!
14:27Oh!
14:28Oh, oh!
14:29Oh!
14:30Oh!
14:31Oh!
14:32Oh!
14:33Oh!
14:34Oh!
14:35Oh!
14:36Oh!
14:37Oh!
14:38Oh!
14:39Oh!
14:40Oh!
14:41Oh!
14:42Oh!
14:43Oh!
14:44Oh!
14:45Oh!
14:46Oh!
14:47Oh!
14:48Oh!
14:49Oh!
14:50Oh!
14:51Oh!
14:52Oh!
14:53Oh!
14:54Oh!
14:55Oh!
14:56Oh!
14:57Oh!
14:58Oh!
14:59Oh!
15:00Oh!
15:01Oh!
15:02Oh!
15:03Oh!
15:04Oh!
15:05Oh!
15:06Oh!
15:07I'm sticking out like a wet dog's nose out of a car window.
15:12Fuck.
15:12The seat doesn't end there.
15:14No, it doesn't.
15:15Fucking bitch.
15:16Oh, I love my mum.
15:21Blimmin' brilliant, wicker wicker rock and roll!
15:24My shizzles, I'm fucking fucking fucking fucking fucker.
15:28Oh, I'm not dead yet, but basically my tits are like windsocks.
15:31My nizzles?
15:33My nizzles.
15:33Basically, I'm not even dead yet, but my nipples are like wind socks and my tits look like Leona Lewis
16:03I'm sorry, I don't get the energy not to laugh
16:20Janine said that when you were fingering her in the back of the taxi last week, it was like you were going through lost property
16:25Did you say that, Janine? Is that what you said? Well, that says more about you, you slut
16:28You know, I'd like to punch you in the nose, McKeldry
16:31Were you a gorilla? Fuck! Were you an extra?
16:35I was a gorilla
16:36Were you a gorilla in extras in the mix?
16:37I was before I did this
16:38Fuck!
16:40Buddy?
16:46Buddy?
16:47What are you doing?
16:49Just...
16:51Don't film for Bobby, it's...
16:54What's behind your back?
16:56Oh no, thanks!
16:58No, it's a lovely part!
17:00I've been wankin' and the dogs come back in!
17:04hahaha
17:05I'm...
17:07That's awesome!
17:09I'll feel like and maybe, of course you can...
17:11And you now have a happy group in your
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