- 4 weeks ago
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00:00Tumbling through an interdimensional vortex, Warren and Lucy discover twisted versions
00:06of their own world, always hoping the next one will be home.
00:18Oh, I hate when it does that.
00:22Where's this?
00:23I don't know, but at least there's no fridges trying to kill us.
00:27Warren and Lucy, you are out of bounds.
00:29You will return immediately or face elimination.
00:33Ericka, run!
01:00Conditioner o'erthn
01:07Elimination!
01:08Elimination!
01:09Elimination!
01:10Now droves are trying to kill us!
01:12Elimination!
01:13Elimination!
01:14Elimination!
01:15Elimination!
01:17In a shock reveal, Warren and Lucy have re-entered the game.
01:28What happened to your tracksuits?
01:39I'm getting the feeling that we're in some kind of game.
01:46Dad, I hope I inherit your power of perception.
01:52Guys, this is no game.
01:56This is reality.
02:16Contestants from number 23 Haerewa Street.
02:26Welcome to the first challenge.
02:36Ah, we might be in some real trouble, eh?
02:46But at least there are no evil fridges.
02:48I think we'll just play along until we can work out what's going on.
02:52Dad, have you ever seen Squid Game?
02:54Is that the fishing one with Clark Gaffer in it?
02:56In your teams, you must choose one person to be blindfolded.
03:06The other will direct their partner down a path using only the power of their voices.
03:12First team to raise their flag at the end wins.
03:16Oh, and try not to step on the polygons of death.
03:22Um, excuse me?
03:24Can you repeat the first bit, please?
03:26I was miles away.
03:28So, um, we were given these tracksuits to wear and socks and shoes.
03:36And then, um, we were driven to the place where the maze was set up.
03:40That's the game.
03:42There was a sound and we started the game.
03:46Nekaki Maui, Warren.
03:51Maui.
03:52I am going Maui.
03:54Wait, Maui's left, is it?
03:56Maybe you haven't even moved.
03:57You know, I get confused with left and right here.
04:00Ah!
04:01Pick up Ma, that's electrified.
04:02Well, that's why I said left.
04:04Warren and Hine are off to a shocking start,
04:07as Warren struggles to understand the complicated notion of left.
04:11Left.
04:12Left.
04:13Left.
04:14Left!
04:15Left!
04:16Left!
04:17Like I left you!
04:18Hey!
04:19Yeah, okay, now 10.
04:2137 degrees nor east and take five half-yard strides.
04:24What?
04:25Just use normal instructions!
04:27Not my fault you didn't take nautical training.
04:29Hey!
04:30No one has taken nautical training!
04:33Yes, Beau.
04:34That's perfect.
04:35Now walk forwards for two medium steps.
04:38Got it.
04:39Bo's heart rate seems to rise every time Lucy speaks.
04:43Oh!
04:44Ignore that!
04:45Bo's cheeks are flushed red.
04:47Are those the signs of young love?
04:50Shut up!
04:51Sauron!
04:52You massive eyehole!
04:53Eyehole!
04:54Focus!
04:55Pipe steps!
04:56Stop!
04:57What?
04:58What?
04:59What?
05:00What?
05:01What?
05:02What?
05:03What?
05:04What?
05:05What?
05:06What?
05:07You're about to step on a polygon.
05:08Poly who?
05:09Polygon.
05:09Poly who?
05:11I don't know anything about reality TV, to be honest.
05:15I accidentally watched Naked Attraction once.
05:18People weren't very attractive, but they were very naked.
05:22I'm tired of being told what to do by you.
05:25For the last 20 years, you keep telling me what to do.
05:28Yeah, and you were blind for those 20 years as well, so nothing's changed.
05:31Oh, ha, ha, ha.
05:32I see what you did there.
05:33You know what?
05:34For 20 years, you tell me, oh, you can't cut your toenails in the kitchen.
05:39For 20 years, you tell me, oh, leave the toilet lid down.
05:42For 20 years, you tell me, we can't do it in the frozen produce section at the supermarket because it's...
05:47Unhygienic.
05:48Let me finish.
05:49Because it's unhygienic.
05:51Well, you know what?
05:52I can do whatever I want to do, okay?
05:54I don't have to stand right here because I'm going to stand right here.
06:01Ah!
06:03He's gone!
06:04Uh-oh.
06:06Murray is our first contestant to be eliminated.
06:10When Murray and I broke up, I decided he was dead to me.
06:14And now he actually is dead.
06:18Sorry, does anybody have, like, one to three bottles of wine handy?
06:21I smell a conspiracy there.
06:27Because if you think...
06:29My body's disappeared.
06:31Well, you've taken my body.
06:32As if zapping us with lasers wasn't enough.
06:34And now you're taking...
06:35It's the green tracksuit on the green screen.
06:39We're going to have to win this game type in the Vortex, aren't we?
06:46Why did it have to be reality TV?
06:48I'd rather walk barefoot across Lego than watch reality TV.
06:51Let alone be in one.
06:54What the heck happened to you guys in the Vortex, hmm?
06:57Oh, wait.
07:01You're a different Warren and Lucy, aren't you?
07:04No.
07:05We're THE Warren and Lucy.
07:06Yeah, THE BEST, Warren and Lucy.
07:08Five stars will not disappoint.
07:10Whatever.
07:11So, can you be Basil's exposition for us?
07:14We don't have time for this.
07:15Hey, all you need to know is that Aotearoa got taken over by a big corporation
07:19and turned it into one big, ugly reality TV show.
07:22And right now they're probably subtitling every single word we say.
07:29So this is happening in every backyard?
07:32F my wrinkly butt, big brother.
07:35Not Mrs. Schrodinger!
07:36Ahhhh!
07:39Oh.
07:44Oh, now the cat's using her ashes as a litter tree.
07:46Bad cat!
07:48Some sneaky players have emerged.
07:51It seems an alliance is forming between Hine, Warren and Lucy.
07:56It's not an alliance!
07:57We're whanau!
07:58Yeah.
07:59Yeah, you tell them alternate anymore.
08:01Thanks, alternate, babe.
08:03Contestants who are still alive, make your way to tribal council.
08:07Here's some shots you've already seen, but have probably already forgotten.
08:14Right!
08:15Here!
08:18And then it was the air break.
08:22Contestants, you must vote for someone to be eliminated.
08:26Um, can I vote for people who say, hashtag not all men?
08:29Let the voting begin.
08:31Let the voting begin.
08:48The votes have been counted.
08:49The first person voted out of the game at number 23 Haerewa Street, and the second person to be eliminated is...
08:57Moral!
09:01Oh, my...
09:05Oh, my God!
09:06I've got a few things to say.
09:12First of all, R.I.P. Murray.
09:15He may have been a wet fart of a husband, but he was a good man.
09:19Second of all, Beau, you will always be my baby boy.
09:22And I would like to say that I am extremely proud of how I conducted myself in this game.
09:28I stayed true to myself.
09:30I was honest.
09:32I was respectful to my fellow contestants.
09:35So you can all suck my big fat...
09:37Oh!
09:39Oh!
09:40Oh!
09:41The game has spoken.
09:45It's room makeover time.
09:47Contestants must makeover their rooms, but they'll only have 60 seconds.
09:53We have to makeover this entire room in 60 seconds?
10:00It takes me longer just to put my jeans on.
10:02I could help.
10:03Ooh.
10:04Shut up, alternate Beau.
10:06I have been to every design class for real estate beginners my work had to offer.
10:11I know how to mix patterns and create a feature wall.
10:14How can a wall be a feature?
10:16It is a structural necessity invented by the Bavarian Illuminati in the 18th century.
10:21What do you think of these bad boys?
10:23Hmm.
10:24So this challenge seems way less dangerous than the last one.
10:26Shh, don't drink that.
10:28And there's just one more thing.
10:30While you're carrying out the challenge, the rooms will be slowly filling up with poisonous gas.
10:40Fire.
10:40There it is.
10:41Good luck, teams.
10:43Your time starts now.
10:46What are you doing?
10:55It's the best way to get the ideal hang.
10:57You know, just need to find out where the studs are.
11:00We have 60 seconds.
11:01Just put it on the wall.
11:02Well, it's going to be all over the place.
11:04I'm just saying, babe.
11:05Where did I put that hammer?
11:06Oh, yep.
11:07Come here.
11:08The chair.
11:08Babe, is there a pencil over there?
11:27All right.
11:28It's just a light cushion chop in the middle with the side of your hand.
11:31Hi-ya.
11:32Here we go.
11:33Give it a go.
11:33Darren, it's a pillow.
11:37Be a masseuse, not a chiropractor.
11:39Go paint that wall apricot right now.
11:43Don't forget the paint.
11:48So angry, Darren, honestly.
11:57Does it look hard on me?
11:59I don't know.
11:59I don't think this could go wrong.
12:04I think this could be it, Warren.
12:07Honey, shut your mouth.
12:10Excuse me?
12:11I mean, cover your mouth and hold your breath.
12:17Lucy, cover your mouth or something and hold your breath.
12:20Yeah, it's all about how you control the roller to give a smooth and structured finish.
12:31Of course, you don't want to leave a wet edge.
12:33No one cares if you painted a wall, Mr. Man's planer.
12:37I'm the one that made this room come alive.
12:39Warren and Hine went the shabby chic route, but only got as far as the shabby.
12:55Lucy and Bo have gone for the car crash aesthetic.
12:59Unfortunately, they've nailed it.
13:01And they're our worst performing team.
13:04They're our frontrunners for elimination.
13:06Ian and Darren have pulled off a stunner.
13:10Beautiful use of colour really ties in this contemporary look.
13:15These are clearly our frontrunners.
13:18But hang on.
13:19Oh, no.
13:20It looks like they've been overcome by the toxic gas.
13:24Their room took our breath away.
13:26Looks like theirs as well.
13:28Lucy and Bo are safe.
13:30Dad, we need to be on the same team.
13:35If I stay with puppy boy over there, I'll be ash in minutes.
13:39I say we ditch our partners and form our own team.
13:42What about your mum?
13:43She's not my mum.
13:44And she's not your wife.
13:45Yeah, but she looks really good in that tracksuit, though.
13:49Like...
13:50Dad, focus.
13:52I'll go tell Bo, you go tell mum.
13:54Fake mum.
13:55Oh, no.
14:00Bo has left the gaming area and will be eliminated.
14:03No, I was just chasing a butterfly.
14:05No, no, no, no, no, no.
14:06Fuck!
14:11Oh.
14:13At least you don't have to tell them you're dumping them.
14:16Contestants, there are now no more teams.
14:19We've moved on to individual challenges to find one single winner.
14:24As a result, I don't have to break up with any more anymore.
14:27Dad, one single winner.
14:31You two.
14:33How do I?
14:34Ooh.
14:36It's time for the Feed Your Fear Challenge.
14:40Yum.
14:41Oh, no.
14:41We're going to have to eat gross animal parts, aren't we?
14:44Oh.
14:45Oh, well, we can cope with that, Lucy.
14:46We can cope with any vile, disgusting thing they put in front of us.
14:49In a shock twist, we're bringing in a wild card entry to the game.
14:55The winner of the game at number 21, Heidi Wah Street, Officer Phil Doyle.
15:03G'day.
15:04G'day.
15:05Bon appetites, eh?
15:06Bon appetites.
15:08Ooh, something smells good, and it ain't my aftershave.
15:11Contestants, prepare to face your culinary fears.
15:19Remove your lids.
15:24Hinamua must eat three-week-old raw fish from tail to head.
15:28Oh, no.
15:29Lucy must eat sheep droppings.
15:32Oh, what are the odds?
15:34Warren has to eat pig sphincters.
15:37What a bummer, mate.
15:38That didn't look so bad.
15:39Wait, what's the specter again?
15:42Bumhole.
15:44You monsters.
15:46While our wild card Phil has to eat a delicious jam scone.
15:53Oh, no.
15:53Oh, come on.
15:54I've got to eat a bumhole.
15:56Bottoms are paris.
15:57Oh.
15:58Oh, wait, there's no cream here.
15:59Ooh, thank you very much.
16:01You'll have 60 seconds to eat everything on your plates.
16:06Are you ready, contestants?
16:08Ready.
16:09Ready.
16:09These are way chewier than I expected, and no flavor.
16:17Wait.
16:18My steaky steams hot sauce.
16:24Dad, I can't do this.
16:26Want some hot sauce?
16:27No.
16:31Babe, what are you doing?
16:32I'm not eating one.
16:33Lucy, if you eat one of those, then I'll be eliminated and not you.
16:36But, um, Lucy, Koha, Harrison, you do as you're told and you eat that poo.
16:42I can't.
16:43It's poo.
16:44Ate the poo, bubba.
16:47I'll be okay.
16:49I'll be okay.
16:58Time's up.
16:59It looks like Hinae hasn't even touched her fish, so she'll be eliminated.
17:04What's wrong with him?
17:12I don't know.
17:14But wait.
17:15But wait.
17:16It seems Phil has an undisclosed jam allergy.
17:20Oh, no.
17:22Poor guy's dying.
17:25Yep.
17:26At least I got to watch you eat butter moles, Harrison.
17:29Yep.
17:30And it was glory.
17:31And gone.
17:39Sadly, Hinae will still need to be eliminated.
17:42Babe?
17:43What?
17:43That's not fair.
17:45I'll give my takutou.
17:48Aw.
17:51I hate it when your wife, who's not really your wife, gets blasted off the face of the earth.
17:56It really dampens the mood.
17:57Just two players remain.
18:01One will win.
18:02One will be eliminated.
18:06Okay.
18:06Honey, listen.
18:09Your mum, who's not your mum, sacrificed herself for you.
18:13So now it's my turn.
18:15Okay?
18:15No, no.
18:16You have to win.
18:17And you have to make it home.
18:19So I'm going to make damn sure that I fail.
18:21No matter what the next challenge is, I'm going to be the worst in the world at it.
18:25Okay?
18:25I'm going to fail like no one's ever failed before.
18:29Welcome to the final Backyard Barbecue Challenge.
18:32Oh, no.
18:35Contestants, you're required to cook the perfect medium rare steak.
18:39Of course.
18:40And who will judge the perfect barbecue steak?
18:42Who?
18:45Stanky Steve, creator of Stanky Steve's world famous hot sauce.
18:50Stanky Steve's hot sauce is stanktastic.
18:53Make our explosive diarrhea.
18:55Y'all know, if it don't stank, it ain't in the bank.
18:59Tēnā koe, te rakatira.
19:02Who is that?
19:03He's only the greatest barbecue who ever lived next to Liam Neeson's personal chef.
19:08Please welcome your second judge, Liam Neeson's personal chef, Mike O'Shaughnessy.
19:16I feel like I'm being ripped apart by joy and sadness.
19:21Grillas ready?
19:22Ready.
19:23Yep.
19:24And grill.
19:26What does it matter?
19:37It doesn't matter.
19:38It doesn't matter.
19:40Have you got a good seal on one side?
19:45I think so.
19:46Good.
19:47Another two minutes and then take it off.
19:49What are you going to do?
19:52I'm going to burn my steak.
19:55But you, you have to watch that like a hawk.
19:57And in approximately 35 seconds, you're going to take it off the grill.
20:00Do you understand?
20:02I understand.
20:02It's been a pleasure grilling with you, Lucy Harrison.
20:27You don't.
20:28Warren's steak is more eye-watering than mouth-watering.
20:35It sucks.
20:37Lucy must bring her plate up to the judges.
20:58Oh, my God, you actually liked it.
21:20You know, I'm quite taken with this.
21:31Well done.
21:39And finally, Warren must bring his plate forward for judgment.
21:44And finally, Warren must bring his plate forward.
22:14I have tasted roadkill after a forest fire.
22:22And tasted better than this.
22:25I'm not eating that.
22:26No way.
22:28And so salty.
22:32This is quite literally the saddest day of my entire life.
22:39The winner of the barbecue challenge is...
22:51Lucy.
22:52Hey, thank you for burning your steak for me, Dad.
22:58I know it was really hard for you.
23:01It's one of the hardest things I've had to do in my entire life, but I'd do it all again.
23:06Because for you, sweetheart, I'd do anything.
23:10Warren, it's elimination time.
23:15Whoa.
23:17How did that happen?
23:19This?
23:20Us supporting each other must be the key to opening the vortex.
23:22All right, Hunter.
23:23We're bloody joined along with it.
23:24Just run straight.
23:25He's been taken.
23:33We're not back.
23:35I'm pretty sure this is not our home.
23:38Three bedrooms, two bathrooms.
23:41Central bathroom.
23:41Very reluctant cell.
23:42What war can you ask for?
23:43It's a picket fence habit.
23:44This is a coin world?
23:45They're robots.
23:49Cheez-Its.
23:50And we still can't afford to have a roof over our heads.
23:53We live in boxes.
23:55You live in what?
23:59Oh, we didn't save the day at all, did we?
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