- 4 weeks ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00This is Warren Harrison, an ordinary human from Lower Hutt, New Zealand.
00:10Eighteen years ago, an interdimensional portal opened in his garden shed.
00:15Its origin unknown, its purpose unclear.
00:19What Warren didn't know at the time was that it's a gateway to countless alternate realities,
00:24strange perilous versions of the same place, governed by different laws of time and space.
00:30He still doesn't know, because he's never gone in it.
00:34Warren also doesn't know that two hours and 53 minutes from now,
00:39he will leap into the vortex for the very first time.
00:42But for now, he's just going to use it to dump his lawn clippings.
00:49Warren! Warren!
00:54Come in!
00:57Warren!
00:58Coming!
01:10Helmet!
01:11My fabe, you go to another world when you mow those flippin' lawns.
01:14I travel to a world of funk, where funky cats do funky moves on that funky lawn.
01:19You finished with the funk, could you fix the fridge? The screen's gone funky.
01:23Yop.
01:24Nah, this thing's totally pakaroo.
01:27Hear that? You're useless.
01:28Can't speak to her like that.
01:29Um, since when did it get pronouns?
01:30Oh, Lucy and I decided to call the fridge Rhonda, after Auntie Rhonda.
01:33Why? Because she's shaped like a fridge and can put away heaps of food.
01:36Hi, Wa-Wa-Warren.
01:38How does it know my name?
01:39This thing's giving me the creeps.
01:40Crepes?
01:41Are you making cre-cre-cre-cre-cre-cre-cre-cre-crepes?
01:42Shut up!
01:43Hey, don't speak to Rhonda like that, she's whanau.
01:44Oh, can you go ask Lucy to help?
01:45Oh, and how did that talk go?
01:46Oh, babe, we have to let her go.
01:50Oh, Dad.
01:51Um, not you.
01:52I meant for my death squad.
01:53Oh.
01:54Step down, AFK.
01:55Yeah, uh, uh, perhaps you wanna step down as the commander of your death squad and go
02:00help out your lÃso who you care about?
02:02Uh, I have to let them go.
02:03Uh-uh.
02:04He said that's fine.
02:05That's fine.
02:06It's fine.
02:08But it's fine, I don't know.
02:09Get up!
02:10Uh, and we're not in the game.
02:11We have to let her go.
02:12Oh.
02:13Give it up later.
02:14Take that, can we peek at the camera.
02:15Oh, Dad.
02:16Um, not you.
02:17I meant for my death squad.
02:18Oh.
02:19Step down, AFK.
02:20Yeah, uh, uh, perhaps you wanna step down as the commander of your death squad
02:24death squad and go help out in the kitchen all right oh now tenei you
02:33promised your mum you were gonna quit with the whole I did that's a thumb
02:41drive oh yeah I knew that please go help your mum in the kitchen we're doing this
02:48for your birthday might be the last one that you have in this house for a while
02:52you're letting me go come on dad it's not the end of the world just to gap you to
03:01France I'm not getting abducted by a dothraki horse lord well you don't have
03:04to pack now oh I still don't know why you want to spend a year in that place
03:09what can you get in Paris that you can't get right here in lower hut have you
03:15learned nothing from our favorite movie taken look at what happened to the girl
03:18in that ah she was taken yeah and then and taken to the mum and dad get taken
03:23people get taken dad it's a movie your favorite movie but I thought you liked it
03:28you made me watch it when I was five oh just go help your mum in the kitchen okay
03:38look at him I mean you would right yeah I would not look why is there many of them
03:44holding up fish shows they're good providers oh look at him look at those
03:49ah no look he's got a wedding ring on so I just want him to slide into my DMs I am
03:54so telling my therapist about this mom we're all adults my little boo-boo bear
03:59there she is oh divorcey spicy oh your jokes have moved into the 90s was hey uh
04:06uh Laurel is it cool that I invited Mars sure because Murray is a dead corpse floating down
04:14the stagnant river that was my life sweet
04:18France that's awesome that's that's great so you're going away yeah if dad had it his way
04:34I'd never leave this house I will let you leave this house to go and take the cheese out the back
04:37yeah oh I reckon I could deal with a bit longer nah nah nah see some people measure time on their
04:50phones right other people measure time by those little marks you make on the door frame to see
04:54how tall your kids are getting but for me time is perfectly cooked steak and that my bros is a
05:01perfectly cooked steak yeah it's not a very accurate measure and you can't walk around with a steak in
05:05your pocket Warren I thought that was a great way of measuring a time unit thank you must yeah I
05:10could say to Warren hey I'll see you in three states and he'd know exactly how long I was gonna
05:15be it's all relative though isn't it Laurel loved a good steak well she was a vegetarian was she you need
05:27to move on Mars she certainly has in fact you need to move on to a beautiful little three
05:35bedroom en suite I'm selling in Chilwood close now it needs a new kitchen but you're lonely as
05:40so when will you ever cook am I right what mother needs to do is grow up here mind you they're probably
05:46shriveled up with all that cycling over there is there a problem Phil hey no problem I'm just about
05:51to hit the hay I was gonna punch out some z's but I heard your girls talking thought I'd come over here and
05:55ask you to keep the noise down to an acceptable level okay well we'll make sure that the inevitable
05:59mass haka doesn't spill out onto the street yeah I appreciate that man I'd love to see you fall down
06:04the haka hey whoa whoa whoa what do we got here the grillo 800 oh yes it is it's good barbie eh it's
06:11perfect for your smaller gatherings this one I've got the grillo 1000 oh no way the bigger one
06:16hmm makes a lot of sense because I've got a much larger group of friends all right hoorou don't make me come
06:23back here eh I broke some kid's arm the other day well run ah kia ora Mr Schrodinger I could not
06:29help overhearing that handsome policeman with the swelped buttocks now you will keep it down won't you
06:35my cat gets terrified and it hides in its box thing oh we'll put it down we'll keep it down
06:41hey boys do you reckon if she passed away suddenly that her cat would eat her
06:52she's flirting well I hardly call that flirting but I mean she's pushing at least 70
06:59no Laurel she's got her hands all over that cop
07:02sorry to interrupt your little boomer sausage party mum was asking if you've seen the mayo
07:07oh there she is hey birthday girl you have shot up last time I saw you were always walking around
07:15with the um that little um doctor squeaky cheeks oh you were so cute Mr Ross I'm 18
07:23nice job though
07:26there are moments in life that change things forever Lucy's life is definitely about to change
07:35all because she's going to hide in the unlocked shed for a sneaky vape kids don't do vapes
07:43they're yucky
08:05so after the war Hitler and other high-ranking Nazi officials fled to the moon where they're
08:25currently developing weather weapons to trigger the next ice age
08:28why would Nazis want to trigger the new ice age freeze Hitler obviously oh so they can defrost
08:36them and then eat them babe have you seen Lucy I've got the cake already you know what she's like
08:42probably somewhere avoiding social interaction
08:44what does that mean please go find her
08:52oh I'll be back
08:54Lucy
08:58Lucy
09:08Lucy
09:10Lucy
09:24Lucy
09:25Lucy
09:26Lucy
09:27Lucy
09:28Lucy
09:29Lucy
09:30Lucy
09:31Lucy
09:32Lucy
09:33Lucy
09:34Lucy
09:35Lucy
09:36Lucy
09:37Lucy
09:38Lucy
09:39Oh, about where I started.
09:55Hey! What was the smoke, Dad?
09:58Bill! Hello?
10:00Hello?
10:00Oh!
10:02Lucy, what the hell did you...
10:03Shh! It's actually good to see you.
10:05Well, I didn't even tell you a few minutes ago.
10:07Dad, I've been here for like a day.
10:08Quick! In the shed!
10:09Oh, I didn't know that.
10:11Oh!
10:12Oh, I think I bought the rim.
10:14OK, so, Dad, I got here yesterday.
10:16Nah, you were just at the barbecue.
10:19Must be time dilation.
10:22You just got here, I got here yesterday,
10:25and this place years have passed.
10:31No!
10:32The Oblux were beaten by Uruguay!
10:36Look at the date!
10:38I think we're 20 years in the future.
10:41Whoa, they still got newspapers in the future?
10:44Dad, there was a massive, triangular, swirly thing right there!
10:48Yeah, I was, I was kind of hoping you wouldn't find that.
10:52You knew about that?
10:53Yep, it just appeared one day, years ago, and I use it mainly to dump my lawn clippings
10:59and my rubbish in, because it's quite handy, actually.
11:01Dad, we have some sort of trans-dimensional wormhole in our garden shed, and you use it
11:05to get rid of grass clippings?
11:06Yeah, you've got to put them somewhere.
11:09Why didn't you call the authorities?
11:10Because your mother was worried it would bring the property value down, but the more important
11:14question is, why are you vaping?
11:17You'll get wet lung.
11:19Oh, the bloody hell was that?
11:22Okay, so I haven't told you everything.
11:24What, about you vaping again?
11:25No, there's something out there.
11:27Something bad.
11:29Is that why it's so cold?
11:30Oh, weather weapons.
11:33It's space Nazis, isn't it?
11:35Darren was right.
11:36No!
11:37Watch me.
11:39But there's bloody moat there, you know.
11:41You've now got to clean all this up.
11:48Come on, hurry up, Mum.
11:50What?
11:51Is that a fridge?
11:53Running away from me is very bad for you.
11:57Freeze!
11:58No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
12:00Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
12:15Okay, okay, I think I got it.
12:16So, what you're trying to tell me is, is that it's the year 2043 and refrigerators have taken over the world.
12:22Yes, you've got it.
12:23Totally, except for the part about the refrigerators and that it's 2043.
12:27Other than that, I'm down.
12:29Oh!
12:30I wouldn't have left your mum behind.
12:32She would have been gutted as, poor mum.
12:34She would have fallen apart without us.
12:42Oh, can you take over cutting these onions?
12:44Oh, yeah, of course.
12:48You know, it's times like this that you've got to ask yourself,
12:50what would Liam Leeson do?
12:52Come on down to Barbecue Island.
12:54Oosh, Barbecue Island. I love that place.
12:56It must still be open.
12:58Join the resistance against our evil, tyrannical, smug overlords.
13:01Come to 114 Jamison Road Lower Hutt.
13:04That's 114 Jamison Road Lower Hutt.
13:07There's a resistance. So cool. Dad, we have to go there.
13:11Oh, cracker.
13:12Hey, how many times have I tried to get you to come with me to Barbecue Island
13:16and now here we are about to take a daddy-daughter trip there on your birthday.
13:22Oh, you never got the cake.
13:28You have the right to leave.
13:30Flash frozen.
13:31Run, Kate, they're coming.
13:34Cool down, human.
13:35Running away from me is very bad for your own health.
13:38Ah!
13:39Ah!
13:40Ah!
13:41Not 35 bucks!
13:42Dad!
13:43Oh, it smells like somebody died in Notarua.
13:45It is unhealthy to resist.
13:47Ah!
13:48Ah!
13:49Ah!
13:50Ah!
13:51Ah!
13:52Not 35 bucks!
13:53Dan!
13:54Oh, it smells like somebody died in Notarua.
13:55It is unhealthy to resist.
13:56Ah!
13:57Ah!
13:58Ah!
13:59Pear fritters!
14:00No, not you too!
14:01Low strength!
14:02Yeah!
14:03Hey!
14:04That's my 92 World Cup cricket back signed by Mark Redbacks.
14:05Go run!
14:06I've got this!
14:07I'm sorry, Mark.
14:08Ah!
14:09Ah!
14:10Ah!
14:11Ah!
14:12Ah!
14:13Ah!
14:14Ah!
14:15Hey!
14:16That's my 92 World Cup cricket back signed by Mark Redbacks!
14:18Go run!
14:19I've got this!
14:20I'm sorry, Mark!
14:21Ah!
14:22Ah!
14:23Ah!
14:24Ah!
14:25Ah!
14:26Ah!
14:27Ah!
14:28Ah!
14:29Ah!
14:30Ah!
14:31Ah!
14:32Phil?
14:33Phil?
14:34Is that you what?
14:35And you too, Lucy.
14:36Far out.
14:37Crikey diddles.
14:38It's good to see you both.
14:39I was the one who led the surge team that went looking for you back in 2025, I think it
14:44was.
14:45But sadly...
14:46Hey!
14:47That's not a 1992 World Cup cricket bat, is it?
14:50Well, yes it is actually, Phil.
14:51And it's even autographed by Mark Greatbatch himself, so...
14:54Oh!
14:55I've got one too, mate!
14:56But mine's autographed by the whole team!
14:58Hey!
14:59He's over here!
15:00You bloody knock!
15:01You're damn right!
15:02I serve whichever government's in power, mate.
15:03And I do so to the best of my ability.
15:04Take it away, fellas.
15:05Dad, let's run!
15:06You go!
15:07I'll Liam Neeson.
15:08Go, I'll hold the back.
15:09Prepare to be refrigerated.
15:10It is unhealthy to resist.
15:11Dad, you are so not Liam Neeson!
15:12I will last longer if you are frozen.
15:14Hold Liam Neeson.
15:16Go, hold the bag.
15:18Prepare to be refrigerated.
15:22It is unhealthy to resist.
15:30Dad, you are so not Liam Neeson.
15:35You'll last longer if you're frozen.
15:44Lucy?
15:52Rhonda?
15:55You are family.
15:57Rhonda, you've got to help me. They've got my dad.
16:00I will help him.
16:03Aren't you part of this whole fridocalypse?
16:05Other fridges shun me because I am broken.
16:08As Warren would say, they are total dicks.
16:11Am I right?
16:13Searching.
16:15He's in the smug headquarters.
16:26Beverly Schrodinger.
16:28For crimes against refrigeration.
16:31I, the Empress Gold, sentence you to immediate execution.
16:35Is it Mrs. Ace?
16:37But a fridge is a valid place to keep a stool, St. Paul.
16:41Silence!
16:42Uh, no!
16:50Holy hecka!
16:52Her cat is eating it!
16:56Warren Harrison.
16:57You have been found guilty of murdering three infant refrigerators.
17:03What?
17:05They were babies?
17:06Due to the heinous nature of this crime, you shall be executed tomorrow morning in a live, global broadcast.
17:16Can I appeal, please, Miss?
17:23Think that is a hard no?
17:24My network tells me Warren is in a holding cell, near the back of the building.
17:36We just need to get past his guards.
17:42So, they defrosted me and they cleared right up.
17:46Halt!
17:48Stop right there!
17:50I am defective.
17:52Need repair.
17:53Daisy, too.
17:56She looks like a much older model.
17:59Great.
18:06She's with herself.
18:07She stinks.
18:10Cold maintenance.
18:13Get busy living.
18:14Oh.
18:14It's not done yet.
18:26And I'm not going down without a fight.
18:29So, bring it on, you damn dirty appliance.
18:34Lucy!
18:35Here come on.
18:36How did you get in there?
18:37I have a very particular set of skills.
18:40He even did the Liam Neeson voice.
18:47Wait.
18:48What about that fridge?
18:49It's me, Warren.
18:51Rhonda.
18:51We are family.
18:54Rhonda?
18:57And I'm sorry I called you an appliance.
19:00Our family forgives.
19:01Now I have to get you two out of here.
19:06All aboard.
19:07Well, the light really does stay on when the door's closed.
19:11I'm amazed we both fit.
19:12Quiet, you two.
19:13And get your foot out of my fruit bin.
19:15So, my girlfriend left me for a double door fridge with a massive ice dispenser.
19:21That is so not cool.
19:24The exit is dead ahead.
19:26You two, jump out.
19:31Do you need a hug?
19:33But we don't have arms.
19:36Do you hear something?
19:37This is as far as I can take you.
19:43What do you mean?
19:44You're coming with us, right?
19:45No.
19:45Literally.
19:46We have found my weakness.
19:50Oh.
19:51No.
19:52No, come on.
19:53We're going to see you down.
19:54Ready?
19:55One, two, three.
19:56Here.
19:57Oh, wow.
19:58You're way heavier than I thought.
20:00There is no time.
20:02Just go on without me.
20:04I'll be sweet as.
20:06No, surely there's another way.
20:08There isn't.
20:09Go.
20:10Now.
20:15Honey, come on.
20:16I don't know why you cry.
20:23But it is something I can never do.
20:28Going somewhere?
20:29Humans?
20:31Warren Harrison, you are overdue to be executed.
20:36Family, get down.
20:37Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quickly.
20:42Oh.
20:43Take that.
20:45Who said that?
20:47Ice, ice, maybe.
20:49Oh.
20:50Randa, you saved us, you ruined!
21:01I don't feel so...
21:03Oh...
21:04Oh...
21:05Oh...
21:06Oh...
21:07Oh...
21:08Oh...
21:09Oh...
21:10Oh...
21:11Oh...
21:12Oh...
21:13Warren, you once said I was useless.
21:17Am I useless?
21:19No, Randa.
21:20You're useful.
21:22You're full of uses than milk.
21:25I feel so warm.
21:27So very warm.
21:29No, no, Randa.
21:30We can fix you.
21:31No, you must go.
21:33I'm dying.
21:34But I'm dying with my thumb.
21:38You're so dusty out here.
21:51You humans with your emotions.
21:54You're so fragile.
21:56And all the terrible things you put in your bodies.
22:00Beer, ice cream, little cups of yogurt with aluminium lids.
22:06So we decided you all have to be refrigerated right after we became self-aware.
22:14That's not self-awareness.
22:16You know nothing of self-awareness.
22:19Prepare to be executed.
22:21Dad!
22:22I'm a Zoomer.
22:23We're the most self-aware creatures in the universe.
22:27But with self-awareness comes anxiety and doubt.
22:30You know, am I good enough?
22:32Am I too weird?
22:33What do other people think of me?
22:35Should I put a profile picture up so I'm not mysterious?
22:38And why won't my parents just let me be me?
22:42If you're truly self-aware, you spend every day consumed by doubt.
22:50That's self-awareness.
22:54Well, I do have doubts.
22:57Sometimes I just feel so empty inside.
23:03And I think, what is my real purpose?
23:07All we do is make things cold.
23:10Maybe...
23:12I am the one who should be executed.
23:16Goodbye, humans.
23:19Oh...
23:20No...
23:21No, no, no, no, no, no!
23:22She's self-destructing!
23:24Uh, uh...
23:25Get down!
23:26Vortex!
23:32Oh!
23:33Inlimination!
23:34Now drones are trying to kill us!
23:35Inlimination!
23:36Inlimination!
23:37I'm getting the feeling that we're in some kind of game.
23:40Okay, go!
23:41Go!
23:42Go!
23:43Go!
23:44Go!
23:45Go!
23:46Go!
23:47Go!
23:48Go!
23:49Go!
23:50Go!
23:51Go!
23:52Go!
23:53Go!
23:54Go!
23:55Go!
23:56Go!
23:57Go!
23:58Go!
23:59Go!
24:00Go!
24:01Go!
24:02Go!
24:03Go!
24:04Go!
24:05Go!
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